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"Hey, Jon, I heard you wanted to get a boating license!" "Yeah, I failed the test." "Oh, what did you do? Confuse port and starboard? Forget to raise the anchor?" "No, I didn't figure out who was behind the mutant bees." "what"
I mean sure, genetic research could go a long way, but I highly doubt we'll be combining mammals, birds, and insects anywhere in the next 100 years. :D
@@Gravewhisper I mean you'd think Cat + Jellyfish was an infeasible combination too, I think we'd all be suprised what eldritch abominations a sufficiently motivated geneticist might be able to cook up. Even the Geneticist themselves I'd wager.
They _did_ say there was role-playing stuff too. I was hoping for some kind of Boat Wizard but I'm not the one who wrote the Official New Hampshire Boat Fan Fiction so what can ya do?
I remember during my driving test when the instructor directed me to a secluded mansion and had to solve a whodunit murder. It turned out to be the groundskeeper, but unfortunately I had already failed the test because 5 hours earlier I hadn't check my mirrors properly when doing a 3-point turn. Luckily on my re-try I just had to deal with a zombie outbreak on a small fishing town
Hey loser, now take the actual test, its not hard but you were so busy putting down what you don't know I doubt you learned enough to pass the test. You might have even learned that you don't need a license in NH for a small outboard. And you make fun of the game style training, but that kind of thing has been proven successful for low Intelect people like you.
They weren’t fucking kidding when they said “no time minimum”, I live in Canada and the online test I had to take (last night, until 1 am because I didn’t plan properly) not only had significantly worse art, but you had to study for at least 3 hours, and yet I still don’t remember a single thing I learned
Theory: Originally, Jon was going to take a boat out to the lake and drop the computer in the water for his sponsorship video, but he was told that he needed a boating license.
You need to ask everyone with the same license as you if they remember the mutant bat bees. This way, you can tell who the real captains are and who is faking it.
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Fun fact: I have renewed my boat license 2 times already and I've never heard of mutant flying experimental wasps... guess that's true that no matter how much you learn about something, there's always something new to learn.
If he didn’t speedrun it he’d know that the mutant bat falcon tiger hornets were drones made to keep onlookers away from the boat stealing operation and also Troy and Julian almost died of hypothermia. -Someone who literally took this two days ago
....who the fuck has an army of mutant flying monsters and uses the to guard a boat stealing operation instead of world domination? these arelike the most weirdly prioritised villains ever. AND WHY DID CLETUS TELL THEM ABOUT THE MUTANTS IF HE WAS IN ON IT!? WOULDN'T HE NOT WANT THEM TO KNOW ABOUT THE MUTANT BEES!?
@@sarafontanini7051 I think you can choose who gets arrested along with Willard. Mia and Alexis are suspicious of some of the other people you meet including Cletus (that Jon didn't show) and whoever you choose turns out to be working with him because when Troy and Julian investigate the island they see someone else working with Willard but they can't see their face. Also they're not mutants, they're robots. The whole "mutant" thing was just a front to scare people away.
Are you telling me I just watched 20 minutes of a man getting his boating license, and not one second of him actually out on the water like Phil Swift on a screen door.
Don’t forget the bears. The mutant tiger hornets they put in the bears. You should run. Just fucking run. You don’t need to play this to know never to go to a failed genetics experiment site that should’ve been closed by the government hosting tiger hornet bear mutants along with a bat falcon variation.
This hypothetical lake is the size of lake Michigan, I assume its a placeholder name for a Great Lake, and there have been US Naval vessels on the lake.
What I learned: Don't drink alcohol while driving a boat because you will lose your wife and twin daughters and the only one to console you is *CLETUS.*
The Rok Kandi the course spoke of is actually a reference to the Kandi Won that capsized in New York in 2012 and killed 3 children. The scenario they described is almost word for word to some of the articles I found about the whole thing. I guess that was the real life situations they were mentioning. Just a fun fact for all of those curious :3
My favorite part about all of this is that you passed all of the actual boater safety and knowledge stuff, but you don't get your license until you "solve the mystery" in the game plot. Like what the actual F 🤣🤣.
Dude, you haven't heard of boat shop owners generically modifying bees, falcons, and bats to make an aggressive hybrid to scare people away from their boats while exploring an abandoned island so they can steal the boats and illegally sell the parts? Happens all the time in the desert.
Why would I pay $20 to play the new hit up and coming FPS Warface: Breakout when I can just pay $40 for the ultra realistic life simulator The Mystery of Kalkomey Isle
Ilearntoboat: advertises the flash game with "real life situations" Also Ilearntoboat: what would you do if you encounter a mutant bat hornet in an island?
Jon: I would like to apply for my boating license. Government-Approved Training Program: What do you do if you're being chased by mutant bat, bear, bees?
@@blueblaze5160 true tho you'd expect it to be role 0lay as in relevant to learning to boat not role Play like YOU'RE GETTING CHASES BY TIGER BAT HORNETS
Everyone wants Jon to film more of his life. Well here yah go, the reason he never uploads is because he sleeps for 4 months straight then wakes up and decides he was wants to drive a boat.
Damn I wish I were as optimistic as you. The reality is that there's no need to upload more than once every for months when you're rolling 2 minute ads for six figures lmao. Mans couldn't care about how much he uploads, just how much bread is coming through.
@@trashtrash2169 Nobody said there was a problem with money lol. He's just a hella lazy dude that has been doing the actual bare minimum lately. It's cool if it's that's the type of shit you like, but it doesn't change the fact that he's a lazy af and obviously doesn't have the same passion for RUclips he did years ago.
No joke, this is a great example of government regulations at their finest. They make some ridiculous requirements or maybe even a semi-reasonable one, act like it's a big deal, tell you how serious it is, but then something like this as a test is completely acceptable lol You know I wouldn't be shocked if we found out that they never changed the test
Just got mine today! It's the same thing but now there is an app so you can play it on your phone too. Although it has the whole Scooby Doo Mystery thing there are other parts you have to read that explain stuff like life jackets requirements, equipment needed and stuff, It's actually not a bad course 😂, but it's still one of the easiest licenses I've ever gotten.
NH Boating Education: “Real life situations” Also NH Boating Education: “...Mutated Killer Hunter Hornets of Doom are chasing after your boat! What do you do?!”
@@ThePa1riot Do you: a) Circle-strafe it while shooting the conviently placed explosive barrels? b) Do a barrel roll? c) Attack its weak point for massive damage?
i just got my class three federal firearms license the other day from a choose your own adventure exam, the certificate looked great next to the one i got for working as a PI
13:47 I'm just imagining JonTron 5 days into a stupid ass Mystery Adventure movie that started off with him just trying to get a boating license to take his wife out on a lake. "How did I get here? on a mysterious island full of genetic experiments. I JUST WANTED A BOATING LICENSE"
I mean, the concept that you even need to have a licence to steer a small boat with a motor on a lake for an afternoon is pretty ridiculous. It is not like a plain where it is a life or death scenario, or a car where there are a whole bunch of rules. I mean bigger vessels, or faster ones could need a licence, sure. However, the thought that I may even need to actually get training in something like this is a joke. Certified so the state government can make more profit selling licences... That's my guess.
Mushroom King I recently got my my boating license for Missouri and it is needed if where you going anywhere with other boats. There are a good amount of rules and good things to know. Docking is a big problem with wind and current. Knowing when to move for other boats and when you stay on course. It is also good to know the signals and signs. The license does give you a lot of help that is definitely needed for safety of everyone else on the water. EDIT: for the small boats for the afternoon I can see it is weird and most likely not needed. A better solution would be a 5 minute “tutorial” for the boat would be enough
At the vocational school where I studied environmental care (before I turned my programming hobby into a career), we had a boating course. Above all, it was a fun time, but also really useful. Driving a boat is mostly quite easy, but there are certain skills that are really important to pick up, especially if you're boating in an archipelago like we were. Honestly, parking the boat in a small spot was the hardest part. But all that just requires experience. We didn't have or need any licenses. Anyone can just hop on a boat and drive it.
Coastguard: _-Did you see what happend?_ Witness: _-Yes, he seemed distracted, just before he crashed into the bay he yelled someting about "mutan bees"?_ Coastguard: _-Yes, that seems to happen quite often nowdays..._
I LEGIT DID MY BOATING COURSE TODAY AND I WAS LIKE DAMN THIS COURSE IS VERY INVOLVED AND IN DEPTH AND HAS DIFFERENT ROUTES AND IM LOSING IT AT THE FACT THAT YOU MADE A VIDEO ABOUT IT LOOOOOL
The accident at the 10 minute mark actually sounds like a boating accident that happened in Bear Lake, Utah. Circumstances weren't exactly the same, but of the 7 on the boat, 4 people died: a doctor, his 2 young daughters, and their teenage friend. The water was very cold and they capsized in the extremely rough conditions (70 mph winds and 6 foot waves). The group was in the 53 degree water for at least 3 hours while rescuers searched for them. It shook the whole state of Utah.
Police Force Training: - Learn the basics of firearm usage - Perform standard mobility and agility courses - Meet the ghost on Dismal Island - Understand how to deduce safety in unfamiliar locations
@@PonkeyPoe It is not true. Police are not trained to shoot minorities. They’re trained to shoot in defense of self and others. I should know, I got similar training in the Navy.
@@ThePa1riot Not trained directly, but I wonder why they shoot so many minorities who are unarmed, lying face-down, begging for their lives... Oh yeah, because they're a bunch of wannabe soldiers who go on a power trip as soon as they're handed a rifle.
That’s what I said to like it sounded like scooby Doo episode when it said the mutant fucking insects then 4 people died a slow freezing death in the water while drowning
@@Manganization taxes. Uncle sam want his no matter what u do. I mean as easy as a driving test is I say the same. Lol just hop out there and figure it out 🤣
Jon I seriously can’t believe you didn’t mention how they advertise that they have real life situations when it’s about being on an island with mutant wasps *raises eyebrows in mock skepticism*
That wasn't satisfying at all; even if it was just an empty case, it was a waste of a perfectly good case, and if it had any working components in it then it makes me question why I should help fund Jon's computer smashing and wasting $40 on what (hopefully) cannot be an actual legit training course.
@@haravikk I find it really, really sad that "wastes money occasionally" is the primary reason fans talk about maybe not giving Jontron unlimited money to do with as he pleases, and not, you know, all the racism.
@@iusethisnameformygoogleacc1013 Aaaaall the racism. Sooooo much racism! Remember when he called someone Swood? I can't believe I still come back to watch this attack on human race as a whole! This man needs to be cancelled!
@@iusethisnameformygoogleacc1013 Do enlighten us, oh great one, as to the deep-seated racism of Jon Jafari. His opinion was regarding other countries that fear being 'taken over' so much that they severely mistreat their minority groups and suppress them just like the US does. He thought it was hypocritical to target the US majority but not the majority of said countries who can be, in some cases, just as bad or even worse. What he said was massively misconstrued, and he came back onto an H3H3 podcast to amend his statements and explain what he meant by them. He'd phrased it badly, being put on the spot as such. Edit: Do mind that I don't mean a literal take over, nor do I agree with it being considered a 'take over' in the first place. I just couldn't find a good term for what they do look at it as other than that.
I only watch Internet Historian's ads, because I like to see how far he pushes it while still getting sponsored. Everyone else gets the automatic skip.
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nice
The final comment.
It’s Papa Jontron
warface good
ok then
"Hey, Jon, I heard you wanted to get a boating license!"
"Yeah, I failed the test."
"Oh, what did you do? Confuse port and starboard? Forget to raise the anchor?"
"No, I didn't figure out who was behind the mutant bees."
"what"
"shoulda brought the talking dog Jon."
Ruh ro
And I would've gotten my license too if it wasn't for Cletus and his stupid werewolf boyfriend
The bees are what sunk him. The *god damn bees*
Budum TSSS
Really? the question behind the mutant bees was so easy!
JonTron is like that one cousin you only get to see a few months at a time, but it’s ok because you are best friends
I understand this too well
That makes sense
Scott the woz is like that best friend you see every Sunday at church
@@RazputinAquatoColon3 it does
But then becomes a living hell
So now that Jon has his boating license, when will we see him race Phil Swift in a boating competition?
I want ths
@@nnickplays9713 No, we NEED this.
Yes lmao!
Oh boi,this must happen
but first he must build a boat...using flex seal, flex tape, and flex shot!
"Real life situations"
(Proceeds to throw you on a deserted island with genetically modified hornets)
hey man they had to blow the whistle about my island somehow
It's real life for Monsanto
They really shouldn't have had the seminar run by Leon S. Kennedy.
Happens to the best of us... The worst of us get the Eldridge Horrors
@@RRVCrinale Still less dangerous then the Chris Redfield seminar. And dont get me started on the Alber Wesker one.
“Four people drowned, including the captain’s wife and twin daughters,”
_“Oh hahaha, what a story, Julian,”_
The room reference, I like it 😂
Don't plan to much it might not come out right
yes, as it also just makes me frustrated.
First thing that came to mind. He ruined the phrase "what a story".
Julian: who said it was just a story
This man did in 4 hours what Spongebob could not do in over 20 years.
Spongebob: (Crashes boat, causing mass injuries)
Mrs. Puff: Oh, Spongebob.
WHYYY!?
Fred: My leg...
Spongebob could never get past the mutant hornets
Deep voiced: WHY SPONGEBOB, WHY
Laws are different underwater :/
420 heh
This legit sounds like someone trying to trick people into reading their Scooby-doo boat fanfiction under the guise of a boat license exam
I have a new life goal
don't forget you also have to pay $40 to read said fanfiction.
Honestly this seems really cool. It’s either this or do a boring boating course, I’d rather do this
@@marcar9marcar972 I'm pretty sure an actual physical test on real water would probably be a better choice
@@hayden.A0 Who needs that lol. I started driving right after getting 500 hours in need for speed. And I'm better than average!
Dude, it took me a year to realize the fucking boat license campaign mode ends in a CIA coverup.
The kids all disappeared in the middle of the night under mysterious circumstances
now replace 2 of them with Mulder and Scully and now you have a rejected episode of the x files.
i love using "campaign" like this is the next halo or call of duty instead of just "story." ok look, the boat licensing doesn't fuck around.
"Realistic Scenarios"
Yup those bat hornet hawks are awful scary.
wow 2020 times were ScAaArY
I mean sure, genetic research could go a long way, but I highly doubt we'll be combining mammals, birds, and insects anywhere in the next 100 years. :D
@@Gravewhisper I mean you'd think Cat + Jellyfish was an infeasible combination too, I think we'd all be suprised what eldritch abominations a sufficiently motivated geneticist might be able to cook up. Even the Geneticist themselves I'd wager.
Just wait until they find those shark man hornets
They _did_ say there was role-playing stuff too. I was hoping for some kind of Boat Wizard but I'm not the one who wrote the Official New Hampshire Boat Fan Fiction so what can ya do?
This is the closest thing Jon has released to a gaming video in years.
@@Ocaz Yeah best game
omg'
Shhh! Don't give him ideas!
I discovered him last year and I think these and his movie reviews are the best. I NEED MORE MOVIE REVIEWS JON!!!!
@@ARMOREDASIAN bruh check his video game videos, takeshi, banjo bolts and nuts, dinocity, monster party, like seriously they are his best
I remember during my driving test when the instructor directed me to a secluded mansion and had to solve a whodunit murder. It turned out to be the groundskeeper, but unfortunately I had already failed the test because 5 hours earlier I hadn't check my mirrors properly when doing a 3-point turn. Luckily on my re-try I just had to deal with a zombie outbreak on a small fishing town
Hey loser, now take the actual test, its not hard but you were so busy putting down what you don't know I doubt you learned enough to pass the test. You might have even learned that you don't need a license in NH for a small outboard. And you make fun of the game style training, but that kind of thing has been proven successful for low Intelect people like you.
@@randallcohen3504 where do you get your crack?
@@SweetMargonade same bro
@@SweetMargonade same place I got my boat, I bought it with the money I earned working, you should try it sometime.
@@randallcohen3504 You got a boat from a crack dealer?
They weren’t fucking kidding when they said “no time minimum”, I live in Canada and the online test I had to take (last night, until 1 am because I didn’t plan properly) not only had significantly worse art, but you had to study for at least 3 hours, and yet I still don’t remember a single thing I learned
Souded like the last time i crammed for my finals.
were there at least mutant bees?
Me: "I wish Jon would do more videos on games"
*the monkey paw shrivels, closing one of its fingers*
If that's what we can expect from monkey paw wishes, I'm okay with that.
VGJustice - Yeah, ☝️😲 just don’t wish any dead relatives back to life via the monkeys paw, that may not end well.
Creepshow?
This was clever.
I hate myself for knowing this.
Theory: Originally, Jon was going to take a boat out to the lake and drop the computer in the water for his sponsorship video, but he was told that he needed a boating license.
Naw, he said he wanted to do something nice for his wife on her birthday and that's why. Whatever it is probably involved a boat.
@@zawarudo596 he wanted to drown her and their twin daughters
@@nial1396 ...Frustrated
Jon’s married?
@@maninthemask6275 he recently got married. If you look at his first goop video, the gal he does the game with is whom he married.
“Four People Drowned, including the Captain’s wife and twin daughters.”
“Haha, what a story Troy”
Guess this was written by Tommy Wiseau
Ryan Heppel I’m so lucky that I have you as my best friend, and I love Lisa so much
I guess we just don't care about the drowned fourth person?
Yeah, you can say that again
Anyway, how's your sailing life?
You need to ask everyone with the same license as you if they remember the mutant bat bees. This way, you can tell who the real captains are and who is faking it.
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"4 people drowend"
Looks like someone forgot their judgment at home, amirite?
?
They shouldn’t have drank so much beer
Drowend
*Mista intensifies
OH 12 oh no
Next on JonTron: Jon learns how to pilot a space shuttle through an alien invasion scenario
FINALLY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE THIRD MALKOVIC GUILTY GAMING PLEASURES!!!
Ender’s Game: hey I’ve seen this one
Made easy
if made by the same people they'd be part alien part wizard part pirate
No. Learning how to operate a forklift thru an alien invasion scenario. That makes more sense.
He did this to finally talk to the townspeople in that hercules game. Jon is now a sailor
DOO DOO DOO DOO~
I only talk to sailors.
Fucking deep call back man
John is the sailor not Hercules *queue ear screeching dialogue tune*
The NPC's were so mean in that game :// too realistic
_dude I literally watched that like 25 minutes ago dafuq._ lol
Fun fact: I have renewed my boat license 2 times already and I've never heard of mutant flying experimental wasps... guess that's true that no matter how much you learn about something, there's always something new to learn.
Then get boat, get naughty teen Latinas, spread wide n smash them
If he didn’t speedrun it he’d know that the mutant bat falcon tiger hornets were drones made to keep onlookers away from the boat stealing operation and also Troy and Julian almost died of hypothermia.
-Someone who literally took this two days ago
....who the fuck has an army of mutant flying monsters and uses the to guard a boat stealing operation instead of world domination?
these arelike the most weirdly prioritised villains ever.
AND WHY DID CLETUS TELL THEM ABOUT THE MUTANTS IF HE WAS IN ON IT!? WOULDN'T HE NOT WANT THEM TO KNOW ABOUT THE MUTANT BEES!?
@@sarafontanini7051 I think you can choose who gets arrested along with Willard. Mia and Alexis are suspicious of some of the other people you meet including Cletus (that Jon didn't show) and whoever you choose turns out to be working with him because when Troy and Julian investigate the island they see someone else working with Willard but they can't see their face. Also they're not mutants, they're robots. The whole "mutant" thing was just a front to scare people away.
Is this for real? Do you really get a license or this is just a big meme and i have severe autism?
It really IS a Scooby Doo episode...
I need to know if completing this means you're actually legally allowed to drive a boat. Drive? Is that the right word? Captain? Idk
Are you telling me I just watched 20 minutes of a man getting his boating license, and not one second of him actually out on the water like Phil Swift on a screen door.
Lmaaao
I too was disappointed.
He will soon.
Next video is of him riding the boat trust.
So basically we saw more footage of someone operating a boat in a video about flex tape than in a video about boats.
“Real-life situations ✅”
Apparently that involves people getting stranded on an island with mutant wasp, falcon, bat hybrids
At least teach them how to deal with getting lost on sea, hostile pirates, storm on sea and on broad medication
Don’t forget the bears. The mutant tiger hornets they put in the bears. You should run. Just fucking run. You don’t need to play this to know never to go to a failed genetics experiment site that should’ve been closed by the government hosting tiger hornet bear mutants along with a bat falcon variation.
Wait that hasn't happened to you?
Obviously man, I don't know what kind of real-life situations you've been in, but they definitely weren't real enough
You mean... that doesn’t happen to you?
We literally watched a man get his boating license and it was the most entertaining video I've seen this week.
Agreed
@Brandon Barbacovi same bro i wish other youtubers made me laugh like jontron does
Why can’t I say otherwise
If only we could watch him drive an actual boat
if ur over 18 you dont need one
his wife and twins died in his boat? yeah okay, that was NOT an accident
Pretty sure the fourth death was the real father of the twins
Perfect story to lighten up the mood on a boat trip
Cpt: *shsssssssh*
What if okay just hear me out they survived and they escaped on another boat 😳
X files theme plays in the background
You forgot the part where JONTRON's wives and twins died as well.
collusion, for sure. He's working with those navy boat guys.
"real life situations"
Drunkenly approaches a US Navy vessel ON A FRESHWATER LAKE!
Naval Station Great Lakes
They probably found oil in the lake
This hypothetical lake is the size of lake Michigan, I assume its a placeholder name for a Great Lake, and there have been US Naval vessels on the lake.
The Naval vessel is probably part of the DOD mutant bee program.
But it’s a very *large* lake
I love how his cats were just watching like, “oh no what’s he doing today?”
imagine getting a government-issued license for completing a newgrounds-esque role play game
shibeNOVA the future is now old man
Oh, you want a license to drive a boat? Ok, first question: What do you do when you encounter *horrifying genetically mutated HORNETS!?*
It's about money.
All licensing is about money.
Look mate the problem is I don't need to imagine it
This is basically what I had to do to get car insurance
Jontron has a wife and a cat now, I remember when he was just a boy with a bird.
"You could've called his channel, Bird vs Games and no one would've argued with you!"
@@justanotherLunny he lighted on our lives
He has a wife and cat now? Where's Jacque?
WHEN DID OUR BOI GET MARRIED?
He's married?!? What???
What I learned: Don't drink alcohol while driving a boat because you will lose your wife and twin daughters and the only one to console you is *CLETUS.*
Don't forget about the bee-bats!
And the mutants
What I learned: people driving boats don't have to have a Fuuuuucking clue about what they're doing, so stay the hell outta the water
Cletus was evil though
@@LightningSword13 THEY'RE ALL CRIMINALS
The Rok Kandi the course spoke of is actually a reference to the Kandi Won that capsized in New York in 2012 and killed 3 children. The scenario they described is almost word for word to some of the articles I found about the whole thing. I guess that was the real life situations they were mentioning. Just a fun fact for all of those curious :3
wtf
Excuse me. Uh, t-the fuck did you just say?
If that was real…are the wasp bat mutant snakes real too?
Jon was the one who got that damn boat stuck in the Suez canal, wasn't he. Lot of good that game did.
I was literally coming here to make this joke!
@@PunkX2000 Welcome, welcome, have a seat.
@Bigg GIB'S fun house he’ll make a flex tape rope and pull his boat outta there!
@Bigg GIB'S fun house Flex tape can fix anything, yo
@Bigg GIB'S fun house mmmm idk about that one chief
> Cat's in the way
> Jon gently lifts cat away, pets cat.
See, Jon, this is why you're never going to be a proper e-thot.
Imagine the angry comments if Jon, in that one moment, did not pet the cat.
Fame is a curse in some ways
Why do I hear boss music?
*Alinity, Yeeter of Cats*
didn't he say in the flextape video he was a prostitute?
Much like Alinity, streaming services would likely protect him.
However, unlike Alinity, we would still want to be around and associated with him.
Alinity: "just yoink that mothafucka"
"Real life situations"
5 min later: THE MUTANTS ARE AFTER US
are you not regularly chased by mutants or is that just me?
_90s X-Men animated series intro starts playing_
don’t forget about the little bit of reaction time
10:27 "Even Julian seems affected, okay? The heartless bastard that he is"
I couldn't begin to explain why, but that line is cracking me the f*ck up
Role-playing situations?
Instructor: Quick, you're encountering choppy water! Roll a d20 for initiative!
the guy who killed his family must have rolled a 1
I rolled an 18.
Rolled a 17
Yes I really rolled a d20
I think it's something like that
* I gently accelerate the boat *
I got a 14.
man spongebob failed boating classes all the time but he really couldve just bought a 40$ visual novel
....Frustrated.
its not like he can even afford that either, his boss is a cheapskate.
@@milkmatcha3698 bro in a episode of spongebob squarepants where its stated that spongebob failed over a million times
I lost it at “Scooby-Doo mystery Newgrounds flash game”
Same, that joke was perfectly timed 🤣🤣🤣
Me, just starting the video: *wHAT*
It's so true though
Home of What What in the Robot.
My favorite part about all of this is that you passed all of the actual boater safety and knowledge stuff, but you don't get your license until you "solve the mystery" in the game plot. Like what the actual F 🤣🤣.
Since he's playing to get his license, I guess this is technically his first game review in years.
Its a whole ass walkthrough
90 it’s more like a let’s play in my opinion.
@@mathiashorn1670 I miss his game grumps let's plays
its actually his first visual novel review
John: Just when I think I'm out they keep pulling me back in.
We need a video where Jontron cuts his boat in half to immediately repairs with flex tape
And then rides it on gator-infested waters.
With Phil Swift
That's it
That's the real reason Jon did this
Nobody can prove me wrong
we should start a petition for jontron to do a flex tape ad, so he can saw his boat in half.
@@cardboardgod with his brand new boating licence.
"This role playing test will teach you how to deal with realistic problems."
Also the test: "HOLY SHIT ARE THOSE TEENAGE MUTANT BAT BEES?!"
Dude, you haven't heard of boat shop owners generically modifying bees, falcons, and bats to make an aggressive hybrid to scare people away from their boats while exploring an abandoned island so they can steal the boats and illegally sell the parts?
Happens all the time in the desert.
Heroes in a jail cell. Er... I mean a hornet shell
Being a native New Hampshirite and watching jontron is like reading the lore before playing an rpg
Theory: Jon did this so he could drive one of Phil's Flex Seal product boats
BUT THATS JUST A THEORY
No
Stop that joke is getting old
Gigasay A GAY THEORY
Phil is the boat, after years of being around flex tape products that he mutated to morph into glue
I'm disappointed we didn't see him actually go drive a boat. He should really do that for the next video.
Only if it's made of FlexTape or FlexGlue
But he clearly didn't learn how to drive a boat.
@@StillNight77 Yet it is an official test so he could
@@MrRiddle0 it only SAYS its official.
That doesnt mean the state HAS to accept this as "boating education".
@@thomasstokes288 With Phil Swift. God that would be good; just two old friends going out on flex tape/flex seal or flex paste boats.
PREDICTION: Jon gets his boat license, saws a boat in half, FlexSeals it back together, and then drives it out on the water.
TO SHOW YOU THE POWER OF FLEX TAPE, I SAWED MY BOATING LICENSE IN HALF.
The gator infested water
And then the mutant hornet-bat-falcons came.....
Is this the end if JonTron?!
Alex Dusfraine find out in the next episode of dragon ball z
8:04 That music in the background though.
It -hits different- slaps.
It's just royalty free music
With attitude
This is a webcartoons comic but with a real license attached at the end.
Looks like a visual novel to me, unless webcartoon comics are the same thing as visual novels, in that case sorry in advance
I want a master boat man to react to this corse
*course
Plot twist: He got his license, but he's never going to drive a boat because he is scared about the mutant bees.
Plot Twist: The Mutant Bees got his license instead and drove a boat
Why would I pay $20 to play the new hit up and coming FPS Warface: Breakout when I can just pay $40 for the ultra realistic life simulator The Mystery of Kalkomey Isle
For 39 bucks I can just play I nuked my family.
"This is like taking a driver's license test at Jack mckilsons house" - gex probably
Do you mean Jack Nicholson?
Jack McKillson is his character from the shining
"Don't get on a boat and drink."
Then what's the point? US Navy boats aren't going to greet themselves.
Lol sometimes in foreign ports sailors and marines are given orders to destroy anything that gets closer than like
100 meters lol
Have fun
@@Lymborium just overcompensate with patriotism. Just dont try it with Russia lmao
Lymbo fishing the lakes and coasts of the United States obligates you to drunkenly greet the coast guard and navy patrol vessels.
Ilearntoboat: advertises the flash game with "real life situations"
Also Ilearntoboat: what would you do if you encounter a mutant bat hornet in an island?
@Lassi Kinnunen As someone who has been on a boat 4 times in my life, i can confirm that airborne swarms of mutants are a daily problem.
Get ye flask?
@Lassi Kinnunen I mean it's a visual novel
Not just mutant bat hornet... A swarm of mutant Eagle Bat Hornets!
Drive FULL SPEED WITHOUT ANY REGARD TO ANYTHING AROUND YOU. JUST GO. FULL THROTTLE WITHOUT LOOKING BACK. MAKE SURE THE RADIO IS NOT BROKEN.
Twins: Drowned
Wife: Dead
Horn: *Toot*
Anakin Skywalker Damn it! i was gonna day that.
Hotel: Transylvania
Phil Swift: I sawed this boat in half!
Wakanda:forever
r/beatmetoit
16:59
hey.....I have that exact radio.....and I love it
thanks jon
Jon: I would like to apply for my boating license.
Government-Approved Training Program:
What do you do if you're being chased by mutant bat, bear, bees?
GO FULL SPEED
Maybe it's preparing us for the mutants...
FLOOR IT!
*correct answer noise*
@Fusion he probably skipped most of the boring questions. Did you guys learn about the mutant bees as well or was it other chimeras?
Look both ways before crossing the river
"Part bat, part falcon, part hornet."
R E A L - L I F E S I T U A T I O N S
THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING THE WHOLE TIME.
They also said Role Play Situations, I think
@@blueblaze5160 true tho you'd expect it to be role 0lay as in relevant to learning to boat not role Play like YOU'RE GETTING CHASES BY TIGER BAT HORNETS
Don't forget the flying eggplants
@@reperfan4 1910 times were SCARRY
Everyone wants Jon to film more of his life. Well here yah go, the reason he never uploads is because he sleeps for 4 months straight then wakes up and decides he was wants to drive a boat.
Well that
And he got married
Nanda I Kadek good point good point
Damn I wish I were as optimistic as you. The reality is that there's no need to upload more than once every for months when you're rolling 2 minute ads for six figures lmao. Mans couldn't care about how much he uploads, just how much bread is coming through.
and is there a problem with that? People act like wanting money to any degree is evil.
@@trashtrash2169 Nobody said there was a problem with money lol. He's just a hella lazy dude that has been doing the actual bare minimum lately. It's cool if it's that's the type of shit you like, but it doesn't change the fact that he's a lazy af and obviously doesn't have the same passion for RUclips he did years ago.
No joke, this is a great example of government regulations at their finest.
They make some ridiculous requirements or maybe even a semi-reasonable one, act like it's a big deal, tell you how serious it is, but then something like this as a test is completely acceptable lol
You know I wouldn't be shocked if we found out that they never changed the test
Guess what! They didn't change it
@@matthewschincariol4619 I'm not the slightest bit shocked. lol
@@matthewschincariol4619 you got to be kidding me
Just got mine today! It's the same thing but now there is an app so you can play it on your phone too. Although it has the whole Scooby Doo Mystery thing there are other parts you have to read that explain stuff like life jackets requirements, equipment needed and stuff, It's actually not a bad course 😂, but it's still one of the easiest licenses I've ever gotten.
**proceeds to get his boat piloting license after playing a visual novel**
I read an audiobook for driving a car and now I have my license
It’s outstanding we don’t have more auto accidents than we do tbh.
That's some straight voyage of the mimi shit
NH Boating Education: “Real life situations”
Also NH Boating Education: “...Mutated Killer Hunter Hornets of Doom are chasing after your boat! What do you do?!”
Hand it to 2020 for making mutated killer hunter hornets of doom a real-life situation
"Now go fight that giant enemy crab."
this is a realistic of new hampshire. come here before you mock our culture.
@@ThePa1riot Do you:
a) Circle-strafe it while shooting the conviently placed explosive barrels?
b) Do a barrel roll?
c) Attack its weak point for massive damage?
What dose NH Boating Education know that we don't know?
I never imagined you could get a boating license from a choose your own adventure.
I mean it seems to teach you some important stuff so...
Do it 3 more times, and you'll get a pilots license
Has science gone too far?
i just got my class three federal firearms license the other day from a choose your own adventure exam, the certificate looked great next to the one i got for working as a PI
This story is literally a episode of goosebumps
Honestly, whoever thought that a Scooby-Doo style quiz flash game was a good way to test people's boating knowledge is a legend.
I wonder how the meeting goes
@@fzndn-xvii "so, you managed to safely escape the island of mutant wasps. Well, here's your license."
$10 says he just wanted to get his Scooby-Doo fanfic published.
“Let’s split up gang”
ultra instinct shaggy: a mortal challenges me
ultra instincy julian: boi
I’m sad that Jontron didn’t actually get footage of him getting a license and driving the flex seal flexboat
If this licence is really valid we got to make him to chop a bout in 2 and fix it with flex tape
My son...
Technically you don't need a list to drive two halves of a boat.
I was half expecting that🤣
Dear god guys. XD
The fact that they DIDNT bleep the word "cunt" has me deeply concerned about the other stuff he was saying
N
@@spooksahoy5097
I
@@toz_lmao
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@@salt696
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13:47 I'm just imagining JonTron 5 days into a stupid ass Mystery Adventure movie that started off with him just trying to get a boating license to take his wife out on a lake. "How did I get here? on a mysterious island full of genetic experiments. I JUST WANTED A BOATING LICENSE"
I’m not sure this man should have a license I mean he’s gonna be too stuck on the mutants to be able to think straight while driving the boat
Can you blame him??? I had no idea there was a risk of mutant attacks from boating, glad I've stayed away from the open seas.
The mutants have invaded his mind and therefore cause poor judgement
Judgment?
It's gonna impair his judgement
"Mutants can affect your judgment"
Fastforward 6 months: Jon is harpooning people in Central Park screaming "Titenic!"
That is 100% what he should name his boat.
I get this was exaggerated for the sake of comedy, but even then, HOW THE HELL IS THIS A CERTIFIED COURSE?!?!?!?!?
I mean, the concept that you even need to have a licence to steer a small boat with a motor on a lake for an afternoon is pretty ridiculous. It is not like a plain where it is a life or death scenario, or a car where there are a whole bunch of rules. I mean bigger vessels, or faster ones could need a licence, sure. However, the thought that I may even need to actually get training in something like this is a joke. Certified so the state government can make more profit selling licences... That's my guess.
@@mushroomking8304 man those plains are dangerous, thats why i just take a plane and fly over them
Mushroom King I recently got my my boating license for Missouri and it is needed if where you going anywhere with other boats. There are a good amount of rules and good things to know. Docking is a big problem with wind and current. Knowing when to move for other boats and when you stay on course. It is also good to know the signals and signs. The license does give you a lot of help that is definitely needed for safety of everyone else on the water.
EDIT: for the small boats for the afternoon I can see it is weird and most likely not needed. A better solution would be a 5 minute “tutorial” for the boat would be enough
Mushroom King The plains are incredibly dangerous, the corn especially, it just sneaks up on you.
At the vocational school where I studied environmental care (before I turned my programming hobby into a career), we had a boating course. Above all, it was a fun time, but also really useful. Driving a boat is mostly quite easy, but there are certain skills that are really important to pick up, especially if you're boating in an archipelago like we were. Honestly, parking the boat in a small spot was the hardest part. But all that just requires experience. We didn't have or need any licenses. Anyone can just hop on a boat and drive it.
“I must remember the mutants!” Said Jon. “But Jon, you ARE the mutants” said the radio. And Jon was a Mutant.
Coastguard: _-Did you see what happend?_
Witness: _-Yes, he seemed distracted, just before he crashed into the bay he yelled someting about "mutan bees"?_
Coastguard: _-Yes, that seems to happen quite often nowdays..._
This game was pretty tight, but I’m even more hyped for the upcoming sequel: _Boat Adventures 2 Many Gunwales: The Return of Mister Willard’s Revenge_
i feel like you should throw in a random "cleetus" into that name too.
Electric boogaloo
The RETURN of his revenge? so he had taken revenge before...
Boat Adventures 3 Cleetus' Revenge
Congrats Jon you’re a sailor, I’m sure Hercules will be able to talk to you now
Underated comment right here...
Love me a dated reference
Or Ryo from Shenmue
But is he sailor enough to become a stroller?
He's the son of ZUES!
I LEGIT DID MY BOATING COURSE TODAY AND I WAS LIKE DAMN THIS COURSE IS VERY INVOLVED AND IN DEPTH AND HAS DIFFERENT ROUTES AND IM LOSING IT AT THE FACT THAT YOU MADE A VIDEO ABOUT IT LOOOOOL
Mia: "Four people horrifically drowned"
Julian: "hahahaha, what a story Mark"
Cool Story Bro.
@@unncommonsense uncultured smh
Mia: " Yeah, you can say that again."
Best comment I have found yet! 😂
Very funny reference mate! This made my day! 🤣🤣🤣
3 things you never want to happen while sailing
run out of fuel
run out of supplies
run into a swarm of mutant bees
what kind of fuel do you use on a sailboat
@@frenchwaffl wind
If all fails, use oars or a leaf blower
Run out of judgement
@@frenchwaffl The will of God
One of his best videos ever. It's criminal how no one brings this vid up when talking about classic JonTron episodes.
I wouldn't call this ep classic. The last one I'd call classic is Disney Bootlegs.
While out cruising on the water with your family, courtesy of your brand new boating licence:
"BUT WHAT ABOUT THE GOD-DAMNED MUTANT?!"
"JonTron makes his boating licence tax deductible"
“Shut up pigeon”
Why is that so goddamn funny
Cuz it’s a seagull lol
Same energy as SILENCE PEASANT
Ah, the most important boating skill, LARPing a Scooby-Doo mystery.
Da fuck is L.A.R.P-ing?
@@algireaux1364 live action role playing
You knew your profile pic collect like Casimir getting mine broken
The accident at the 10 minute mark actually sounds like a boating accident that happened in Bear Lake, Utah. Circumstances weren't exactly the same, but of the 7 on the boat, 4 people died: a doctor, his 2 young daughters, and their teenage friend. The water was very cold and they capsized in the extremely rough conditions (70 mph winds and 6 foot waves). The group was in the 53 degree water for at least 3 hours while rescuers searched for them. It shook the whole state of Utah.
I can't believe you paid $40 for a boat dating sim and it didn't even have any smut after all that erotic tension smh
rip off eroge
Your pp looks like a femme funny valentine and I need the sauce
Pays 40$ for a training course or a dating sim type game..
Nothing to help you or others learn of "The Implication"
@@nathanielleack4842 it's Kirie from Junji Ito's Uzumaki manga. It's a horror that gets pretty intense tho so be aware of that
@@gageward2752 you're misunderstanding me bro.
Can we just talk about how they referred to this as "Real-life situations," because jfc I didn't know these genetic hybrid wasps existed.
What, you weren't aware of the mutant bee menace that haunts boaters? You've clearly never been out on the sea.
They’re real and they’re *COMING FOR YOU*
clearly doesnt have sea legs
Well killer bees were bred to make more honey in warmer countries and look what they've become
Just on that one island in New Hampshire
Police Force Training:
- Learn the basics of firearm usage
- Perform standard mobility and agility courses
- Meet the ghost on Dismal Island
- Understand how to deduce safety in unfamiliar locations
What about the course about shooting minorities. Seems to be an important one
@@DezmondtheRingmaster Slanderous and defaming.
@@ThePa1riot perhaps, but also very true.
@@PonkeyPoe It is not true. Police are not trained to shoot minorities. They’re trained to shoot in defense of self and others. I should know, I got similar training in the Navy.
@@ThePa1riot Not trained directly, but I wonder why they shoot so many minorities who are unarmed, lying face-down, begging for their lives...
Oh yeah, because they're a bunch of wannabe soldiers who go on a power trip as soon as they're handed a rifle.
petition for jontron to just play the entire boating lesson from start to finish and upload it to RUclips as a 5 hour video
This is the wildest Scooby Doo fanfic I've ever witnessed in my entire life.
That’s what I said to like it sounded like scooby Doo episode when it said the mutant fucking insects then 4 people died a slow freezing death in the water while drowning
XD
Let it be known that Jontron LITERALLY goes the extra mile for his sponsors.
I got the joke
It felt bad seeing him carrying his computer absolutely not where it belongs
It's alright, it was an Alienware.
Its annoying.
@@Ruddpocalypse at least it's interesting
I had to constantly remind myself that he was getting his boating license through this.
this comment is funnier than the video!
If it's that easy to get, why is there a license in the first place?
@@Manganization taxes. Uncle sam want his no matter what u do. I mean as easy as a driving test is I say the same. Lol just hop out there and figure it out 🤣
@ape escape I see.
“I hope whoever I rent the boat from doesn’t see this, might get a little bit awkward”
**continues to rapidly skip through the material**
Twins: dead. Wife: drowned. Horn: toot
tri va go :D
Hotel: Trivago
@@audreydelaughter4320 No
guards: i froze em
im: the ice man
*doot*
when my dad said he spent hours getting his boating license, i didn’t imagine that THIS was what he was talking about
Jon I seriously can’t believe you didn’t mention how they advertise that they have real life situations when it’s about being on an island with mutant wasps *raises eyebrows in mock skepticism*
I mean, that's basically what the whole video was
Hornet/Bat/Falcons, thank you very much. Cletus obviously genetically engineered them with moonshine and methamphetamines.
I’m so sorry bob Roberts I will never make that mistake again they are people too
Its realistic now with those Asiatic death hornets about.
Jon yelling “Shut up, pigeon!” at a seagull is just beautiful! xD 🤣
Jon never actually used his boating license because now he's too afraid of the falcon tiger bear hornets... :(
*Bat
@@joshuadearwester7053 they mutated again
They try to scare ya so you don't boat out to Antarctica and see what's behind the Arctic wall. Did they ever find 'Nessy? Didn't think so.
Ok but why is no one not talking about how satisfying it was seeing the computer roll down the hill and so smoothly stop at the bottom.
I was expecting it to be hit by a truck!
That wasn't satisfying at all; even if it was just an empty case, it was a waste of a perfectly good case, and if it had any working components in it then it makes me question why I should help fund Jon's computer smashing and wasting $40 on what (hopefully) cannot be an actual legit training course.
@@haravikk I find it really, really sad that "wastes money occasionally" is the primary reason fans talk about maybe not giving Jontron unlimited money to do with as he pleases, and not, you know, all the racism.
@@iusethisnameformygoogleacc1013 Aaaaall the racism. Sooooo much racism!
Remember when he called someone Swood? I can't believe I still come back to watch this attack on human race as a whole! This man needs to be cancelled!
@@iusethisnameformygoogleacc1013 Do enlighten us, oh great one, as to the deep-seated racism of Jon Jafari. His opinion was regarding other countries that fear being 'taken over' so much that they severely mistreat their minority groups and suppress them just like the US does. He thought it was hypocritical to target the US majority but not the majority of said countries who can be, in some cases, just as bad or even worse.
What he said was massively misconstrued, and he came back onto an H3H3 podcast to amend his statements and explain what he meant by them. He'd phrased it badly, being put on the spot as such.
Edit: Do mind that I don't mean a literal take over, nor do I agree with it being considered a 'take over' in the first place. I just couldn't find a good term for what they do look at it as other than that.
"Ok Jon, we need you to do a promo for a solid 2 minutes"
"Ok."
*takes almost an entire minute to drive to a hill and drop a PC*
*OH NO-*
Only jon would drive and walk to the middle of butt fuck nowhere with a pc just for a bit
Ngl, I watched the whole thing. I had to know where he was going with it!
I have the same PC (or a similar one the generations looked the same till a while ago) and it actually hurt to see it roll down
Magma Duke the thing that actually hurt me was seeing him drive off in a mini
@@anthonyrangel7239 i think UberDanger went to sone underpass in the middle of nowhere and destroyed his old PC in his gta e review
Other youtubers: Try to hold our attention as long as possible for the ads.
Jontron: Walks across the nation with his pc.
I only watch Internet Historian's ads, because I like to see how far he pushes it while still getting sponsored. Everyone else gets the automatic skip.