Esther: "One Margarita Pizza with some added 'Crushed Dreams' and a side of 'Disappointment' please..." CPK Server: "It'll come out after your dessert."
“...until I caught him lying about what he had for lunch, and then I was like if you’re lying about that.. I know you f*cking cheated on me” #accurate 🤣🤣
I'm the opposite. I've had a beard since I was 16 so no one ever thought I was underage. Thankfully I still have all my hair and am only starting to go grey even though I'm 37 so people think I am younger than I am.
I'm 42 and got carded a couple of weeks ago. I was stunned and almost didn't know how to respond at first, probably making me look even more suspicious.
The town I was born in and lived in until I was 8 had the majority of my mom's and dad's family there. It's a small predominantly white town in south Florida, Moore Haven. My family has this habit of refusing to die of natural causes (which is great when you want a peach cobbler made by your grandma, but really annoying you crack the screen of your phone and could use some insurance money for a new one). So with everyone having 4 or 5 children there was a lot of us. There was a good chance if I met someone black they were related to me in some way. Sometimes on both sides. Valerie is my father's half-sister (they share my grandma Margaret [aforementioned peach cobble maker]) and my Mom's first cousin (the daughter of my maternal grandmother's brother [a man that I have been told I've met several times yet I haven't the slightest clue who he is]).
When she said when i was in high school im like hold up how old is she then i see her age and these is a lot funnier now because it probably happen lol
First cousins share grandparents, second cousins share great-grandparents, if anyone was curious how it works. Then you toss in a "once/twice/thrice removed" for deviations from that line.
This is hilarious cause I actually dated a girl that was my cousin. Didn't find out til I talked to my grandmother about her and she gave me this look... walked away and came back and said oh yes that's your cousin on your grandfather's side. Needless to say that had to end quickly. Good thing I was young and wasn't fully interested in sex yet.
Fun Fact: Two of my cousins dated for nearly 2 years. They were technically 2nd cousins, but they literally met at our family reunion. Now that they're broken up, I'm curious to see what the family reunions are like this time 😅
Y'all are second cousins, and in the United States, legally, second cousins are allowed to get married in all states, while first cousins can only get married in about half of them.
i am from a small town in rural tennessee and this situation is not at all uncommon. I can recall multiple instances of friends in junior high having a "girlfriend" they soon realized is their cousin
I hear you, Esther! My dad always says you can't swing a dead cat in our county without hitting one of our cousins.. Junior year of high school: I was talking to a girl I was sweet on. Staked a date on whether or not my intramural soccer team could beat hers (my team did). Was talking to my mom the day after. I was all pumped! "Oh, Julia is my cousin Jenny's cousin!" I was like "Wait, what?! 😮😮😮" *record scratch* Needless to say, Julia WAS NOT happy! Date IMMEDIATELY called off after mutual agreement!
![OhGeesy x Lefty Gunplay - What It Iz [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/L0yzW9t2ixk/mqdefault.jpg)
ah yes, Esther, the 32-year old 16-year old comedian.
She could easily play a high schooler on TV and I wouldn't bat an eye lol
Isn't she on coke or something?
@@SingingblissofRajat or something
@jon jon goufema liames zenbin pinfen say what now?
@jon jon goufema liames zenbin pinfen say whaattt
Idk how she tells stories from senior year when she's clearly still a freshman
Because she's a really good actor.
If I didn't know who esther povitsky was, I would think this was just a high schooler talking about her life
100% legitimately thought that was what was happening and I was *SO* confused.
YES
As if family reunions weren't already awkward enough. You're hilarious, Esther!
Esther: "One Margarita Pizza with some added 'Crushed Dreams' and a side of 'Disappointment' please..." CPK Server: "It'll come out after your dessert."
Esther Povitsky, Peculiar Case of The Perpetual Teenager.
"then I said we're just gonna have sex only once" LMAO I lost it when she said that
“...until I caught him lying about what he had for lunch, and then I was like if you’re lying about that.. I know you f*cking cheated on me” #accurate 🤣🤣
People from Alabama: so.. what was the problem here?
1st cousin marriage is 100% legal in alabama. i live in tennessee. it is here too. i'm so proud to be a southerner /s
Are you serious? Do you know how bad that is? Your cousin? I mean come on! How could anyone cheat on their sibling like that?
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@Tkieron 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣☠☠☠☠☠
XDDDDDDDD
she's hilarious! If you haven't checked out her show Alone Together, you gotta check it out. Sadly cancelled too soon though.
She painted that picture real clear, way to go Esther.
esther can talk about anything and it would be hilarious. excited for the special, it looks great!
This is like a low effort "this is not happening"
I love this story! Esther is a hilarious story teller. I need to hear her do more. Can't wait for the special
She's in the show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend if you haven't seen it.
I feel Esther's pain about looking way younger than I was. I was still getting carded till 30. Now I'm 45 and nobody is carding me. 😭😂
I'm the opposite. I've had a beard since I was 16 so no one ever thought I was underage. Thankfully I still have all my hair and am only starting to go grey even though I'm 37 so people think I am younger than I am.
I too, hope to one day look like a man.
I'm 42 and got carded a couple of weeks ago. I was stunned and almost didn't know how to respond at first, probably making me look even more suspicious.
Wow look at you lol
She cracks me up.
THANK YOU Esther for making me laugh right now. My job is BS and you’re helping me! 😱
hey jason! "the cousin", we know youre out here somewhere lurking in this comment section!!! lmao
I bet he wishes he had smashed that now! LOL
Flippin love Esther!
The town I was born in and lived in until I was 8 had the majority of my mom's and dad's family there. It's a small predominantly white town in south Florida, Moore Haven. My family has this habit of refusing to die of natural causes (which is great when you want a peach cobbler made by your grandma, but really annoying you crack the screen of your phone and could use some insurance money for a new one). So with everyone having 4 or 5 children there was a lot of us. There was a good chance if I met someone black they were related to me in some way. Sometimes on both sides. Valerie is my father's half-sister (they share my grandma Margaret [aforementioned peach cobble maker]) and my Mom's first cousin (the daughter of my maternal grandmother's brother [a man that I have been told I've met several times yet I haven't the slightest clue who he is]).
Lol that picture did not do Jason justice that’s for sure. 😂
The guys throwing bones got me lulz
I too accidentally went on a date with my cousin once 🤦🏾♂️
Girl is fucking HILARIOUS! Her timing is so good, she could jist talk and it would be funny.
"I could be dating cousins left and right and, like, not know it." Welcome to Kentucky.
Or NC already been on 3 dates where we've discovered we were distant relatives. Thank God I've always found out before we did anything.
she reminds me of annie from community. heh..
This level of honesty is refreshing
For some reason, I kept hearing 'Dueling Banjos' during that whole bit.
Was it just me?
She looks like she's perpetually anxious.
I love the artist who drew the things 😂
Esther has really been putting in the work lately.
Love her, totally underrated comedian!
When she said when i was in high school im like hold up how old is she then i see her age and these is a lot funnier now because it probably happen lol
The family that plays together stays together! ha
everything about this story is amazing
..even the Juicy Couture hoody??
Little Esther!
GOD I LOVE HER
First cousins share grandparents, second cousins share great-grandparents, if anyone was curious how it works. Then you toss in a "once/twice/thrice removed" for deviations from that line.
"removed" indicates generational differences between said cousins.
I first saw Ester, playing a creepy clerk in a Dormtainment skit. I've had a crush on her ever since. 😍
Creepy clerk?
Dormtainment?
I hope you've seen "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Girlfriend" then
"Kids aren't into that sort of thing." - the derpers
This is hilarious cause I actually dated a girl that was my cousin. Didn't find out til I talked to my grandmother about her and she gave me this look... walked away and came back and said oh yes that's your cousin on your grandfather's side. Needless to say that had to end quickly. Good thing I was young and wasn't fully interested in sex yet.
This happened to me before...I’m glad I’m not alone
I knew a woman who was dating a guy for a couple of weeks before they realized he was the brother that had been given up for adoption.
Damn
she five feet tall EVERYONE is tall to her lol man she's a cutie pie and hilarious too!
This is hilarious and @5:15 I spit my food out 🤣🤣🤣
Fun Fact: Two of my cousins dated for nearly 2 years. They were technically 2nd cousins, but they literally met at our family reunion. Now that they're broken up, I'm curious to see what the family reunions are like this time 😅
she had a BOB
belly over belt 😂😂😂
She missed a step between Taco Bell and “sleep”: bathroom
Na, she was in high school. Between the young digestive tract and libido, the bathroom can wait.
People from Alabama: Technically it's not a problem if you're second cousins.
third cousins share the same amount of genes as a central african to a far east asian.
can NOT get enough of you
LOVE HER
Esther is painfully gorgeous she's such a little minx love her laugh, her voice is so soothing I could listen to her talk all day #wifegoals
we love you esther
COMEDY CENTRAL I AM SICK OF YOUR SPOILER ALERT CAPTIONS!!! 😂😂😂😂
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
A girl once cheated on me with her cousin😂😂😂😂😂
Sorry LMAO
You dodged a bullet.
Well, if it was a second cousin... (“Sweet Home Alabama” plays...)
Esther is pretty cool 😁
reminds me of that snl sketch about the irish tv dating show
I wonder if it's Esther Povitsky or Eliot Page who gets carded more frequently when they go out.
I don't think that Elliot Page looks as young as Esther
She’s hilarious! Good storyteller 👍😊
This is the second video of this girl I've watched today. She is fucking funny! I need more!!!!!
Esther is the kind of person who you can’t decide weather you hate or like being around.
Not too hard to decide://
She's like a more crass Jenny Nicholson.
ON POINT
Trudat
Yes! That's why she's so familiar. Same energy.
That's who she reminds me of!!! It's been on the tip of my mind for like a week.
The first time I saw her I thought she had huge Jenny energy
The cutest girl named Esther.....EVER! 😍
This gal is naturally funny! Is she in any films?
I've always found her incredibly attractive 😍
AND THEN THEY BANGED
ahhhhh put the Lannister in the canister
I love Esther so much lol if you see this...I luv u beb
I like her story telling.
She got an awesome family.
we were definately we cant have sex cousins... like wtf, this killed me.
So first cousins once removed. Not too too bad.
OHMY GOAD NOOO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Whenever she says she uses baby voice... I hear no difference, lol
Yo, your life is jacked up!!! I love it... I love you!!!!
As long as he's not your brother, your fine.
Excuse me, but what you've said is very very wrong and you should be ashamed of yourself. It's you're, not your for the second one
@@CoalDiamondandhisawesomeness Haha! Yes!! And that's what happens when cousins marry!! ;)
Yikes
Roll Tide!!!
Not in Kentucky
He's your second cousin once removed. Not that it matters. Glad you guys figured it out before anything happened.
its ok with the first cousin here in my country 🤣
this girl is frickin hilarious tho
This how i met one of my cousins too 😂😂😂
3:29 ah, _home_
(I'm not too far from California Pizza kitchen, like 20+ min but havent had it even when I passed it in the mall)
The darkness and light thing was also spoken in True Detective by Matthew McConaughy
I feel her pain and know this is why both my older half-brother and I haven’t sired any munchkins yet... Not easy to find someone LoL.
Together?
Y'all are second cousins, and in the United States, legally, second cousins are allowed to get married in all states, while first cousins can only get married in about half of them.
Second cousin is absolutely no problem. In fact, in Europe, it was done all the time.
i am from a small town in rural tennessee and this situation is not at all uncommon. I can recall multiple instances of friends in junior high having a "girlfriend" they soon realized is their cousin
When you have a name like, "Esther," There is no fucking way anyone would not know you are their stepsister.
I hear you, Esther!
My dad always says you can't swing a dead cat in our county without hitting one of our cousins..
Junior year of high school: I was talking to a girl I was sweet on. Staked a date on whether or not my intramural soccer team could beat hers (my team did).
Was talking to my mom the day after.
I was all pumped!
"Oh, Julia is my cousin Jenny's cousin!"
I was like "Wait, what?! 😮😮😮" *record scratch*
Needless to say, Julia WAS NOT happy! Date IMMEDIATELY called off after mutual agreement!
.... atleast they didn't immediately recognize each other and continue on the date, unless she's embellishing.
i like to think she's embellishing, "what are you doing step cousin"
The Fam-ily Crest
Tat-tooed on her Chest
Was just like the one on me, yeah!
~Weird Al Yankovic
From those Cake commercials ?
Lol😂
Jesus Christ...my brain.
SECOND cousins? Meh. If the shoe fits...
Might have been her soulmate, she should have hit it right?
Yeah, they only share about 3% the same DNA.
Third cousins. His mom is her second cousin.
Tao 타키오 wrong
His mom is her 1st cousin, once removed.
"There are no accidents"
-master oogway
I have a great friends who's parents are 1st cousins and have been married for over 40 years.
1st Cousins once removed is the term.
She's like so tiny... I feel like i seen her in my high school before
third cousins share the same amount of genes as an central african to a far east asian.