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When me being called boring = ok, so you & i have interests that differ so much that you don't get shit about what I'm saying = we can't connect at just about any level then = aite, bye bye, i dun wanna talk to u anymore.
SO TRUE ! I told this to my whole family and friends yet somehow only my friends got it and text me. WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME, BROTHER ? JUST SEND A TEXT
elise im an infp and i actually love talking on the phone and would rather that with my close friends and family (i mean not everytime) it obviously depends but i lovee talking lol having long conversations etc
Yeah, theres only a select few ppl im okay with talking otp with, and even encourage to call me. But that just mean I enjoy your company and talking to you
LOL. I had a cashier telling me yesterday about why I should take advantage of 'rewards programs' - not the one of that business, but just generally. While I could get his logic, it just - bugged me, and I could feel myself resisting ....
That would be misinterpreted if someone is stubborn, personality wise. But it would make more sense if it indeed has correlation with the cognitive type of INFP. I'm nitpicking but in a positive way, no trying to annoy you! Just wanted to clarify. :)
For myself, it would be more accurate to say that I don't like people who don't respect my intelligence/individuality. I don't mind following orders or instructions, if I understand the reason why. If I don't know why I'm doing something then chances are I won't want to do it.
This actually made me laugh. Are you kidding me? Asking an INFP what he/she is thinking. Our minds is like buzzing non stop. Don't we look contemplative all the time?
Yes! And most of it is the 'why am I doing this' or 'what are my thoughts on this'. That's part of why we hate quick decisions. We aren't given the time to think it through and make the most informed choice. However, that's also why we tend to give such good advice. We take the time to look at it from all angles and examine everything. :)
"Don't dismiss their feeling" is the MOST important thing to me. Being an INFP, people telling me that I overreact or that "this thing is not that important" is the worst... I always care about how people feel and it hurts me so much when they don't.
As an INTP, I really couldn't give a rat's ass about how anyone feels about anything. If you think something is important, present me with a rationale why it is. I can deal with logic, but feelings are often nonsense.
"Don't force them to answer quickly." I can absolutely relate, because processing the question usually begins only after the entire question has been asked, and as you have stated, we also need time to evaluate it. Greetings from a fellow INFP.
I have to have someone repeat the question once or twice cuz I for some reason was unable to process. probably because I was battling a demon in my mind and I'm just like "Hold on!! I almost got him!" I swear INFP's are stone's throw from Schizophrenia
I'm an INFP too. And yes I can relate to that. Sometimes i need a whole night to think (rather overthink) before I answer. And then think again if I did say the right thing.
“Don’t tell them their intentions are bad/wrong” I felt that at my highest and lowest spiritual level. I know what I’m doing, I know what path I want to go on, JUST BE PATIENT WITH ME
Wow! That's the exact conversation I'm having right now with my brother. The hard part is the frustration I feel. Why is it necessary for me to get through to family. Well certain ones, closest I guess? Is the communication of opposing thoughts supposed to come to a resolution?
I was surprised about that advice. i'd never noticed i become upset everytime someone do so!! that explains why i self-destructs after making dicisions that disappoint my parents, Because of Those DENIES! I should be more aware of that emotions from now on.
As you say, we only strive for harmony. I want to be able to feel ok while doing so. And not hurt all the time. "There are people whose lives are worse off than yours" I'm often told. And it's difficult to explain that I am not being ungrateful. I just have other things that are more important to me than the ones people tell me to be grateful about. I feel like I'm hurting others and getting hurt by others all the time that way.
Mindfully tell yourself, "don't take things personally." Whatever someone's perceptions of you are, it's just a flawed, not fully informed approximation of who you are. You'll grow, change and be somebody different, but closer to who you really are, by next week anyway. Not everyone is going to like us. That's ok. The extremely messed up, inauthentic, spiritual vampires want to destroy you, some immediately with force, some gradually with "love." That's not ok. Gtf away from them ASAP.
@@soulfulspec Seeing things from other's perspectives is exactly what we do, even to the point of feeling their feelings with them. We just don't express it outwardly like you, because our feelings are introverted. I don't have "nice guy syndrome," in that I do what I do out of love or like for the other, out of my store of love in my heart, that just gets bigger every time I give it away. That inner harmony you speak of is us making sure our thoughts, feelings, words and actions are congruent with who we are, our purpose, and especially our inner integrity/value system/conscience. I don't really consider weather people like me, just that I like them for them (not because they do the same things as me, we even agree on anything whatsoever, or they have something I want). Usually I don't put my wants or even needs into the "equation." I can go hours neglecting going to the bathroom or days without eating or sleeping while I'm concentrating on solving other's problems. Don't know if that qualifies as "altruistic." I forget about it 30 seconds later anyways, because I'm on to 14 other things (or daydreams). Now, I'm surprised, disappointed and sometimes a lot indignant when someone projects their own ulterior motives or manipulative ways onto me or what I've done. I know precisely how genuine I was, but question if I could've done a dozen variables even better. It's a natural, self imposed wound. If someone pokes at that wound, the inner turmoil becomes an outie. Look up "throw can of gas in volcano" video, if you'd like a fitting metaphor. INFJ's can like us (or not), but they'll never understand us. You don't think like us. I can see your point(s) of view, but you'll sadly never see mine (INFJ sister, 2 daughters, son). For all your ability to see right through everyone else, you really can't see through an INFP. It's because you'll sometimes compromise inwardly or manipulate to bring outward harmony. You're not evil for doing that anymore than we are selfish or unreasonable for being unwilling to budge, or even blowing up, at a certain point if something violates our life long fine tuned, individualized sense of right and wrong. There's really nothing to see through in an INFP. We're the same person when no one is looking. Exult in your altruism. I don't even know what that means, other than a lot of people seem to pat themselves on the back with it...kind of like "self esteem." I'd rather have character, but would be the last to call myself virtuous. Yet, somebody asked me what I'd get for myself if I won the lottery. I told him all the cool things I'd get or do for others with great excitement... "No no, what would you do for YOU?" "Huh ???" We're both different, not superior, or inferior nor any other contrivance.
I don't mind being asked. I'm quite happy to explain my reasons. But if you don't really care, or are just doing it to be belligerent, or I just explained it to someone else with you standing right there not listening, *that's* when I have a problem. You have to TRULY want to know.
Ron Paul Forever I literally cannot explain myself or my actions much at all. I get really overwhelmed if someone is angry and asks me why did you do that? I understand how annoying it must be for them but I literally cannot explain at that point in time. I have to go away and sort it out.
YES! Omg. I hate giving explanations because when I try it just doesn't... work. It never comes out how it really was inside my head, and it's usually very confusing and doesn't make much sense, even for me lol. It usually ends up with people thinking I am reckless or impulsive. God, even I sometimes think I am impulsive, when in reality I always have A LOT of reasons as to why I'm doing this thing, I just cannot explain :)
Being called boring hurts a heck of a lot more than one thinks it does. It's almost akin to saying "You have nothing of worth in any relationships. No one would want to hang out with you" Considering how being an introvert leads to having less friends, sometimes I worry that this is actually true. Heck, most people only seem to value me because I listen and can give some counseling
It’s a really sucky feeling. It takes me awhile to warm up to a situation and new people so at first I come across as boring but once I’m comfortable it’s like a personality switch, people are usually shocked. I think we need to find people who are patient enough to see the whole us. Not everyone is and that’s okay. There’s certain personality types I can’t be around: too overwhelming, so maybe it’s similar for them: we’re too underwhelming for some. Sorry for rambling btw. I’m processing what you said bc I’ve felt that so much. I think we need to be more patient with ourselves as well. And not expect us to open up right away in social situations.
1. Don't overwhelm them with random tasks 1:04 2. Don't insult their intentions 1:50 3. Don't call them boring 3:46 4. Avoid pressuring them to explain ethical choices 5:03 5. Don't dismiss feelings 6:22 6. Don't pressure them to answer quickly 7:39
As an INFP I actually have a tendency to find other people boring. I've also actually gotten very good at explaining my ethical choices. I don't mind being pressured to answer quickly if the other person is willing to be part of the process of decision making. What I don't like is people who refuse to be involved and insist that you make every decision on your own without any input or discussion from them. I don't mind random tasks as long as I can give a few of my own to you. No one actually likes to be given random tasks no matter what your personality type. Ultimately, we value open discussions and understanding over judgment and criticism because the latter is lacking in all kinds of context.
@@olive4naito I am ENFJ and INFP :D....The majority of personality tests try to put us in the boxes when we change every day a little and observe the world quite uniquely.... Adding on top of that language interpretation etc. I ''take'' what resonates with me and leave the inaccurate interpretation of my choices behind. I love people, I am truly energized by humans, but my growth point is loneliness and my self-work.... The time when I can think and resolve myself..and I don't feel lonely, I really love it.
@@madamevampsilverkim9242 I agree wholeheartedly. It truly gets irritating when generic weaknesses applicable to a larger number of people get attributed to a tiny group.
oh. as an infp, i hate it when people call me, "people pleaser". i mean, come on, not all will agree with one thing. at least let's look for a common ground. 🙄
Sherlyn De La Cruz there’s not always a common ground. i’m an intp watching this so i don’t annoy my infp friend and i think believing that is as much of a weakness as it is a strength
@@daisywilliams2551 of course there IS always a common ground. that's why the "subject" is brought up. Both should be patient and calm enough to find it. ergo, compromise.
I’m usually the mediator to most arguments. It’s cause I think to myself “if I don’t find a compromise for those two different ideologies, then no one else will” and I really don’t like hate, violence and conflict of any kind. I try my best to keep my peace ✌️ with people and treat how I want to be treated. I also dislike burning my bridges with people and find myself always being in one sided friendships with me doing all the effort and the other people can probably care less 👎😔
As an INFP with emotional regulation issues it's so frustrating when I express how I feel, and then people try to talk me out of it. Like... I already know what I'm feeling is completely irrational and all the reasons why. You explaining it to me isn't going to change anything, I've already had that conversation with myself many times over. Just let me express that feelings are hard and then let me move on with my life. :(
Fun little story from an INFP: I've only had a few relationships in my life, and none of them lasted longer than 6 months. The worst one came when I dated a girl who cheated on me in the first 2 months. I forgave her do to trauma and emotional issues that she had, but then I found out she did it again later. And this time she blamed me for never asking her about her problems. I never tried to understand her feelings, and this time she lashed out and called me an *"emotionless, hypocritical, oblivious, sheltered lab rat."* LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, if you ever want to ruin a relationships, or even friendship with an INFP then look no further than these 6 words.
Where the hell does sheltered lab rat even comes from? I'm guilty too for getting attracted to crazy girls. I put up barriers to everyone. Emotional and Oblivious would more likely describe myself
If a 73 year old INFP. It seems odd to say that I'm very intelligent and yet Innocent at the same time. I've never lost my innocence. I just want to love people, places and things, and mostly of my life, especially women, people have made up what they think my intentions are. I never could understand that - when "can't you see my intentions are pure?" I hate explaining. "Can't you see I'm a good man wanting to love and be loved in return?" I'm bored with all the gymnastics, the games people play, which is maybe why people would think I'm boring. I'm a dreamer and a fiction writer and would rather be alone doing that then pretending to be someone I'm not.
I’m sure INFPs are still interesting in a playful witty way (when we feel secure & comfortable in our own skin with the right company) but we don’t play manipulative or disingenuous games. That ‘boring’ is just a veneer because too much inside of us might not fit in with the particular group of ppl or haven’t find it’s place yet. (: ENFP & INFP are too multidimensional to be truly boring. There’s too much curiosity, creativity, awe & wonderment of ideas in the highs, so much melancholy, pain or vulnerability in the lows? :p And not enough time to read all the books & explore interests in the world.
@@Bebbolove Naaa - we're boring - to most people. Either we don't say anything - which makes us boring - because we know that the other will find whatever we say boring, or we talk and the other finds what we're talking about boring. Once in a while, if we're lucky, we run into someone who doesn't find us boring.
nozecone One man’s meat another man’s poison.. hah.. Cliche.. But we also find certain small talk that is gossipy, shallow & unnecessarily viral/rumour mongering boring & useless.. so I suppose it goes both ways.. But I do know a handful of INFP instagram bloggers who are interactive on social media & lots of ppl respond in depth to their quirky discussions (usually around 200+ comments) & have loyal followers. And overtime, the INFP do eventually befriend some of the followers& meet up with in real life, become gd friends over the years. That’s a perk of social media I suppose- u get to meet your kind of ppl by being your authentic self 🙂.
I agree if someone finds you boring it's because the INFP has not shown all the great world they have inside...very talented people with a lot to give.
@@PS-xb9hc Yeah, I feel like some people think me boring. It's just because I don't show all of me, if I feel comfortable around you/we talk about something where I find myself, trust me, I could talk hours.
Idk why I'm replying to a year old comment, but yes, you are completely correct (I think). As an INTP, I find these people _extremely_ interesting. They are literally chaos that's in the calmest way possible, with the "purest" yet "thoughtful" heart in terms of goodness. Too kind to the point I trust them 5mins I know them (not really a joke). Never had I ever see people other than them who are so delicately warm. The thing is people, in fact the majority of people who actually have energy, feels discomforted when they stay in a calm state for long, hence the discrimination "boring". They aren't entirely wrong, being also IN P makes me relate to you guys that we are just less active on the surface, but they should look under your sea level between outsides and insides before thinking they know you. Good thing I got a deep brain so that I understand you more. -INTP on the internet
"we have to evaluate and balance everything that we do" so true. even when i'm speaking, i'm constantly pausing and self-evaluating, seeing if i'm saying what i truly mean in the best way and making sure my words won't be misinterpreted and harm someone. it's exhausting (probably for the listener as much as for me), but i can't help doing it.
I've always had this internal fear of being misunderstood or have my words misinterpreted. One of the main reasons I struggled speaking at all as a kid..
Yeah :/ then I keep overthinking what I said because people will eventually try to twist your words around and misinterpret it with their own perspective. That’s why whenever I present in front of class, I try to make sure I don’t miss anything I should say without making anyone feel bad about themselves. I guess it’s true of the saying “you can be a perfect peach 🍑 or apple 🍎 and there’ll always be someone that doesn’t like peaches and apples” That saying itself has temporarily relieved me from overthinking and over stressing myself for no reason since I sometimes tend to dwell on something for a long time. I guess Newtown’s lesser known rule of physics is “an INFP will dwell on something until there’s finally a solution/closure to whatever is making them stress out” I just made that up, but I honestly think it can be true. I tend to find myself thinking about stuff longer than most people probably spend time thinking about it.
I think that’s why some people go to me for advice sometimes since they probably assume I research a lot about a certain subject and trust that I can give them a “good” answer. Idk.
Omg, sometimes I just stop in the middle of a sentance for a bit and then start back up later. Bless my friends for knowing me well enough to wait till my mouth catches up to my brain.
Yep, same here. You can question my actions any time you like, I make a lot of mistakes. But my intentions have always been nothing but the best I could imagine, and often aiming for much better than most people expect of themselves.
I hate it when someone questions my integrity! Seriously, I am not the person who is going to put myself ahead of anyone else...very frustrating when people project their own agendas on your actions!
@@JF59122 I have a sister like that too... made me feel worse about myself than I could do to myself, turns out she's a covert narcissist and putting me or my intentions down made her feel better about herself. This took years of examples for me to realize she truly wasn't in my corner and I've distanced myself from her greatly, for my own mental and emotional health. Maybe this isn't your situation but we need to get real with who is and is not lifting us up! 💓💓
for me (INFP) the “don’t pressure me to explain my ethics” comes down to my fear of confrontation as well. i don’t want to argue with anyone who might disagree with me if i explain. i just want to have my values and let other people have theirs. i also don’t want to make people feel bad if they don’t follow my values, like i would if it was the other way around, so i’d rather just make sure i’m sticking to my own values and again let people do their own thing. but still get sad when i see people do things i find not very nice, haha
Me... my silence and distance preceived as arrorgant, selfish and non-chalant. When in fact i just avoid arguing with someone which is not in line with me.. i just trying to avoid conflict.
I feel like sometimes we struggle to word our thoughts when making a decision because our head and heart are so busy and focused on feeling things out that we have not enough concentration on talking about it. At least that's the reason for me. I'm unable to multitask in that way...😂
Idk if this is just me but i hate when people see me in a way that is totally out of my control. Like you can hate me for something i did. You can not hate me if you don't know me and you made the decision on an assumption or not really getting to know me, it makes me crazy.
My Hubby is an INFP. He’s my best friend. I’m an INFJ- what I love about him most is I can always trust that any wrong he does was on accident. We have some family members that play games. He never does. We don’t like those kind of games. I don’t think he’s boring- people just don’t give him enough time to get his thoughts out. He is great thoughts, he just needs time to masticate his thoughts before he spits them out. Wonder if Perrin Aybarra was an INFP from wheel of time series. Side note- one of our favorite movies is the Secret Life of Walter Mitty- an extreme INFP. We love that movie.
I have sensed most INFPs have a secret internal world that very few ever get to see. I suspect they journal about this place at times though I am not certain. ENFP.
Nicely put!! Like the part about not having enough time to masticate thoughts before spitting them out. Definitely have the same trouble. We need less thinking and more spitting lol
"I can always trust that any wrong that he does was by accident". Yes! And it is a big surprise when you first come to realise this! There is no scheming, he is fundamentally good, what a revelation!
With the last one I really really hate that. "When do you wanna get picked up" Me: oh around 6 "Well I'll just pick you up now" *is only 1pm* Or "do you want pizza or a sandwich" Me: pizza "Nah let's get sandwiches" Like why even ask me if you don't actually care about my opinion This is why I don't like making decisions
Yes, because it's sooooo hard to make a decision, I really thought about it, saying it out loud produced a lot of anxiety, and to have the other person dismiss it feels like a personal attack 😅😑
Sometimes i dont say what i think or if i prefer something because i always want people to be comfortable, so when i get asked about something and then denied it's not about what i think, what makes me upset is the thought that the other person does not care about my feelings or my comfort the way i do about theirs.
And why I'm such a bad mom for 2 kids :( when they were little they often had 2 completely opposite needs they were expressing ("wanna play with my train now AT HOME!" "Wanna go out out OUT!") I can deal with one, but in such case whatever I did, one child was unhappy and I was a bad mom to that one child :(
I often feel that I struggle with words because I have all the different phrasings (synonyms etc) of the thought coming to my head at the same time and I would like to use the most accurate sentence, the one that describes perfectly what I want to say. I much prefer writing because I can take the time to carefully choose my words, change the sentences round, re-read. About making choices, I also feel we are open to so many different things that we're overwhelmed by the possibilities.
I'll agree with making choices, but language has always come naturally to me. Often a word will come into my head and I won't necessarily know the definition, but if I look it up, it's usually exactly the one I wanted for the situation (I've been mistaken, but rarely). I do prefer writing, but I've got a lot better at spoken communication as I've got a bit older.
Harkz0r i do the same thing! i tried explaining that to people in my college class i was sitting with when i was talking about writing our paper, and they all kinda acted like that was weird haha
As an INFP...If you ask them to do these things and they do it unusual,look like struggling... Right: let them do their way even if there are/is easier Solutions. They know better :) Wrong: interrupt them and telling what to do that you think a lot easier even if they do, Never ever do that because it annoys them and they feel like they're not capable at doing things :)
My dad: Hey can you get me the remote? Me:*stops the video* Ugh, Ok... *Gives the remote* Me: *Is about to sit down and continue to watch the video* My dad: Also, while you're at it, bring me some water will you? Me:*intense breathing*
In my head: Get it yourself you lazy selfish man. Why is your time and activity more valued than what I am up to do. Just because it looks like I am doing nothing on the phone does not mean I am actually doing nothing. My activity is very important for me. Also why the hell can't you get it yourself? Don't ask for a favor for such trivial things. Ask for it when you really need help. I hate when you micromanage me. I am not your servant, treat me as an equal not like a small human pet, that you can order around. Reality: I will walk very slowly for the remote, maybe even catch myself mumbling the thoughts in my head and passing the remote passive aggressively, hoping that the message is clear: I am NEVER doing this again!
As an INFP with anxiety, I really respect that you took the time to show people how to respect INFPs. I have a lot that goes through my brain, and even after learning coping strategies, I still need to unlearn stereotypes and other bull that society and school has planted in my head.
10:03 "Anyway * laughs nervously * .... Got a little bit passionate about that..." As an fellow INFP, I have noticed this personality's habit of being driven by whatever comes to mind and somehow seem like you're daydreaming. It's somehow sad and beautiful at the same time that we get ourselves stuck between our own world and the real world. This video just explains everything 👌
I find people who do that with subjects like veganism, are not actually looking for your opinion, but looking to argue it and prove you wrong. All so they can justify their own bad behavior.
man, I just feel at home here. feels like there's a whole level of acceptance of being an infp in the comment section like bruh, we same. "I feel ya. right?? isnt this an infp thing???"
I'm an INFJ guy in first few months w INFP lady and taking it sloww. She worried the 1st weeks if was boring me but knows now I love what she says and Does. Perhaps will end up casual / back n forth or mayybee a power couple...
I'm an INFP married to an INFJ. The fact that INFJ's are watching this is spot on 😊. Remind your INFP you appreciate and love them, it'll go a long way.
I always have a notepad with me for work. I keep a running list of tasks because I know once I get focused on one, the rest will be completely forgotten if I don’t write them down. Lol! Another trick I do for quick decision making (but only for non-important, personal decisions) is to look at the last digit of the current time. If it ends in a 7 that equals a yes. If it ends in a 3 that equals a no. If it ends in a number not 3 or 7, I go with either 3 or 7 depending on which the number is closest to. If it ends in a 5 or 0 (median numbers between 3 and 7) then I HAVE to make the decision for myself. Maybe not the best system, but it makes deciding if I want to stop and buy a coffee before work a much more simple, and less time consuming, decision than it would be if I tried to decide on my own. Indecision - the life of an INFP.....it’s like trying to analyze all the different combinations of a Rubik’s cube with someone looking over your shoulder asking “Are you done yet??” With every little turn. Great video! Sending this to my husband 😂 I’m constantly telling him “DONT ask me what I want! Give me two options and I’ll tell you which one” Anyone else still have to look at the menu of a restaurant every time you go, even though you’ve been there plenty of times before and the menu hasn’t changed? 😂
Oh....wow...you are inside my head! I resonated with everything you said haha and I think I'll try out that "time" decision-making process, it sounds relieving 😂
Ooo, great idea! Haha. Normally I flip a coin or I tell my husband to make me choose between 1 or 2 without letting me know which is which. So I'll pick a number and then if I don't like it, then we go with the other one. I trick myself into finding out which one I really want. Hahahahaha
That feeling you get when you say all the right words in the right order and you've actually said what you wanted to say and you can tell that the person you're talking to has actually paid attention to you because they have a thoughtful response. 🤗😊❤️
this is related to 6 - i actually spend a lot of time when i'm alone thinking through how i would respond to questions. like if this person asked me what i thought about [blank] how would i answer? and what words would i use?
Me too, I often have these hypothetical discussions of various topics with myself (in my head). Sometimes it's because I want to explore a certain subject from different perspectives. But sometimes I'm doing it to avoid potential future awkward social situations, so I want to prepare/practice potential responses. But they either never actually happen, or by the time it actually happens I've completely forgotten what I had practiced/thought up lol.
#1 for me: don't insult my intentions - it's incredibly hurtful when someone assumes I have bad motivations. But when I step back it's because of other people's twisted minds and inability to trust, not really about me. Still hurts though from early life trauma. #2 dismissing feelings - pretty obvious why #3 overwhelmed with tasks - first of all I prefer not to be told what to do, or how to do something that I'm good at (just happen not to prioritize at present). Otherwise, a list of tasks should be presented in a logical order and shown connections (meaning /reasons). Otherwise I'm likely to arrange them according to my judgment and do them on my own time schedule. ?? being called boring? It's downright rude, noone appreciates that. I accept that t's inevitable that I'm boring to someone, just like a conversation between ESXX people is boring to INXX, but while I have to endure such events I look for ways to remove myself from them, not to label someone as boring
This is nearly the same for INTPs but change; 'don't ask us to explain our ethics' to 'don't ask us to explain our emotions' and 'don't dismiss our feelings' with 'don't dismiss our logic'
I always think "Get better at...", is a bad advise. If you want to give me an advise, you should tell me HOW to get better. I know I have to get better, but usualy I don't know how.
In addition to that, sometimes "Get better at such and such" is just bad advice full stop, in my opinion--whether you give more detailed advice on how or not. Depending on where the person receiving the advice is in their life. It's probably because I spent a number of years really taking it to heart when people kept pushing me to "get better at" things that were characteristics of my personality, and as a result I ended up falling into a state that was probably pretty close to clinical depression. And in my current phase of healing from that, I'm experiencing a lot of anger at people who I perceive as not giving me my space to get better at things on my own terms. So, for that reason, that bit at the end quite frankly pissed me off. I don't know, maybe it's because he's a Nine and I'm a Four, with that whole prizing uniqueness thing that we Fours have going on, that I don't see a reason why we should necessarily even strive to all be the same and be good at the same things. Isn't the whole reason why we all have strengths and weaknesses supposed to be so that someone who is predisposed to be good at something can jump in and take care of something that someone else is not so good at, and so that we can work together and compliment each other's weaknesses with our strengths? It's one thing to try to transcend one of those personal boundaries you have if you can't get away from the person who is doing them or can't convince them to stop. Or at the very least, get better at managing your emotions when they cross one of those boundaries. Like for example if the person is your boss or you are dependent on them in some way for basic needs. Then, you might have to say, this isn't an ideal situation for me but it can't be helped. But even then, check in and make sure that the only thing keeping you locked into that work environment isn't fear of change or something like that before you totally accept that it can't be helped. It very well might be that the situation can't be changed, because capitalism sucks and a lot of people are getting trapped in situations where they don't want to be because of debt or not being able to find another job or whatever. But it never hurts to check in every now and then and ask yourself if there's really nothing you can do to get out of that situation--accepting that the answer might be yes, there is nothing. But can we f@$%ing not with the whole exhortation to learn how to accept when people cross your boundaries for the pure sake of learning how to accept it thing? Can some boundaries just be non-negotiable? Especially when it comes to friends and lovers and people whom you have an actual choice of whether you allow them into your life or not? (God forbid that said lover could be someone you are financially dependent on and that prevents you from leaving them if need be. I know there are plenty of people in that situation, too). I've reached my limit of how much I can listen to people advising me to try to learn how to soften certain hard, non-negotiable boundaries of mine without it making me angry. I'm at the point of, "Look, these are things I will tolerate and these are things I won't tolerate. Period. End of story. Take it or leave it." Maybe twenty years from now, when I'm sixty, I will once again be at a place where some of these boundaries might be more open to negotiation, and I will be better able to listen to advice such as what was at the end of this video without feeling angry. But for now, I'm just not at that place because being pushed to accept things before I was ready caused me too much pain in the past which I haven't been able to process yet.
My ex used to do this all the time and it made me preemptively say, "im not doing this because [insert sketchy intention)..." which would make him distrust me even more lol That one didn't last long.
8:00 and the worse thing, literally no one would care when I voice it out. I need time to evaluate what I wish to say and it takes time, and I know that I am causing an inconvenience because of that, which makes me feel worse, and it just becomes a downward spiral. Like, I have all my points ready with me, but right before I say it, I'm like "should I say it, should I not, should I word it more properly, is this point even relevant, etc" and it just ruins me. This is why I usually avoid debates, despite the fact that I long to be in one, I want to voice my opinions and spew out facts, but when I am there, the inner debate in me to begin and ruin everything, because debates don't wait. Edit: things are improving though...
As an INFP writing a list of tasks and crossing them off makes number one so much manageable. I even write down things I’ve accomplished that day just to cross it off because the sense of accomplishment motivates me.
"Don't overwhelm them with tasks." How badly I want to put up a 'do not disturb' sign or a ' don't talk to me' sign on my face when I'm working. 😂😂😂 PS. Its nothing personal. 😅
Another INFP with an opinion here 👋🏻 #1 YES absolutely agree, my mom does this to me and I have to tell her to give me one step at a time #2 Yes I really don't mean to forget things! It just happens and I get carried away with something else. Don't think I'm blowing you off, please! #3 I think this one boils down to hating the idea that we (INFPs) aren't destined for something greater. And the fear that we don't mean anything. And like you said, how dare you call us boring when we have sooo much going on! Problem is, it's all in our minds :) agree with this one full heartedly. #4 I haven't really come across this much. I think I usually can explain why I believe what I believe. #5 Unlike you, I grew up with a lot of Thinkers. Therefore I have come across this problems many times. I'm thankful you put it in here because it's one of my pet peeves! #6 I make decisions like that too. If I don't feel strongly about it, whatever. But if I've already made up my mind, good luck changing it! Overall: thanks for the video! Very well done and accurate to me.
Thanks for the detailed comment Anna! It's nice to know that it was accurate for other people too! I hesitated for uh.. 350 videos to make a video like this. I guess I'm glad I did!
Me. i find it FUCKIN' HARD to find the drive to do necessary things that i either don't connect with, or just outright HATE doing, & i get SHIT EASILY distracted. my mind's ALWAYS onto something, but most of the time, NOT something i need to deal with at hand. i'm a type 1 ADHD guy--i could stare at the wall all day without excessive movements, but my brain would DEFINITELY be going around places, most of the time just trying to straighten out the shit found in a naturally wandering mind of an INFP, & essentially gets NOTHING done until i've put my foot down... or just feel desperate enough to need to calm the fuck down, because my priorities are just all over the place...
Being called as boring is the most annoying thing ever that usually comes from the people who think that they know who I am without really knowing 1% of who I am.
when people call me boring i question the entire relationship. "did you call me here to entertain you? i thought you liked me as a person? i thought i was here to chill or connect or something?"
I can relate to the appointments thing and being overwhelmed with too many tasks...this week I had 3 appointments to reschedule and 😱🤯 I was SO overwhelmed! I really struggle just making appointments in general, I think because it relates to how INFP's are idealists and struggle to commit...making an appointment feels like I'm committing to a specific time of the day in the week, I don't want to have to reschedule it, I want it right the first time 😂 so I take too long in my head attempting to make sure I choose the right time for the appointment. This supposedly simple thing that overwhelms me....😳 I also really hate being misunderstood, even in small things. My brother is INFP also and you remind me of him in your mannerisms and how you talk :)
When I have been called boring, it has usually been because they asked what I was thinking about - and I told them (usually by "turning up the volume" so they could hear what was going through my head). This would quickly be followed by them saying, "You think too much!" I quickly learned not to do that....
Great video! Another one that happens to me: I get so annoyed when others (narcissistic people mainly) think that since I will end up agreeing with what they suggest, there’s no need for me to be in the conversation - I spend all this time listening and understanding each point of view and I am not included on decisions that might have an impact on me 🤦♂️ Does this also happen to some of you?
When most of the people in my life get that deer in headlights stare when I open my mouth. Like everybody is scared of what I'm going to say or I'm speaking some alien language. Does anybody else get this besides me? 90% of people respond this way to me.
I know it's late, I've been trying to find this in the comments but couldn't so here it is: More than anything else I hate when people judge each other. Like why?? Why do you care about things that simply don't concern you and don't do anything bad to anybody? Also, you never know the full story, there are always some circumstances that you may not be aware of so making judgements is very unfair. Idk if that's only me but world would be so much more beautiful without judgement. Love you all fellow INFPs :DD
I'm an INFJ and I have a friend who's an INFP-- unconsciously I assumed the role as their spokesperson when they're bombarded with decisions to keep them at peace (truly an advocate). I explain my train of thought, then ask if they have any questions, comments, or concerns regarding the conclusion. I ensure to make them not feel rushed by addressing these conversations like an open seminar-- brainstorming ideas. For the most part though, these conversations are brought up by experiences and events they plan on participating in, and to help them be more prepared I discuss topics they are likely to deal with in those events.
I literally like to be called 'boring or weird', it's sweet and it's already a compliment for me. Telling that me I'm boring makes me more creative and unique and myself.
Nobody knows how much it hurts to be called boring. Say anything you want about me, but never ever call me "boring". Thx for calling that out, it needed to be said.
Although I make weird choices it always ends in me having new experiences even if these are as simple as just choosing new foods. I got so much better at making decisions (apart from when I’m tired) that I started helping others make decisions faster by holding out two hands and imagining each answer in each hand and then getting them to ‘pick a hand’ it’s great!
"Warm blanket, soft comfort, and sinking into that couch..." THIS cracked me up! I always feel like there are these simple pleasures (for me, it's coffee and a window) that just take time to absorb and enjoy fully... then randomly I'll think "Wow, who else needs the better part of an hour to do this in life? What's wrong with me??" But it's often my favorite part of the day. And there is genuine disappointment at taking a sip and realizing the cup is empty. xD
Very recently, in my 43, i realized that all the "odd" characteristics of mine match with INFP type... It was a kind of enlightenment for me, after that i started to value myself for the first time. In my life, i 've suffered due to all 6!!!!!! You describe it with incredible precision!!!!! I always thought that no one ever understood me....In the end, i got a "burnout" and cancer.......Μaybe, It would be good, if you could make a video about INFP's physical health. In some cases, it is heavily affected by all the frustration caused, when we cannot cope with the psychological matters that emerge during our interaction with the others. Keep on!!!!!💗
At 28 I’ve only just discovered my personality type, it’s a huge relief and for the first time in my damn life I actually feel understood. I’ve felt different from my peers all my life. Thanks for the vids!
My ENFJ mom in the corner looking at me internally asking me why I was not on her side when both her and her bestfriend fought because of childish reasons: 😄
Man, this video has made me realise how I'm constantly looking for how *I'm* wrong, and not focussing enough on honouring my own preferences. This was refreshing, thank you.
I was thinking just this! Although then realised I need to make sure I scrape my comments, bitching about said family 😂😂 before sharing... inc. this one 🙃
Learning more about INFP'S is absolutely essential as well learning about all personality types, but intuitive, feeling, and sensory types gives us an over all balance. Awesome learning video appreciate. Thank you from INFJ
My mother would walk into my room every morning before I was awake and start rambling off lists of things she or I had to do that day. I never understood why it annoyed me soooooooo frickin’ much until this video!!
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"don't call me boring because that's for me to call myself when i don't like myself" i can relate that to a spiritual level 😂😂
me too :'(
MOOOD
Starry sky I KNOW hahha
This is what ESXX tell me all the time when they around me
When me being called boring = ok, so you & i have interests that differ so much that you don't get shit about what I'm saying = we can't connect at just about any level then = aite, bye bye, i dun wanna talk to u anymore.
DON'T CALL ME PLEEEAAASE I DON'T HATE MUCH BUT I HATE PHONE CALLS DON'T MAKE ME SUFFERRRRRRR
-INFP
SO TRUE ! I told this to my whole family and friends yet somehow only my friends got it and text me. WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME, BROTHER ? JUST SEND A TEXT
elise im an infp and i actually love talking on the phone and would rather that with my close friends and family (i mean not everytime) it obviously depends but i lovee talking lol having long conversations etc
@@gracepayneee well it depends on the person ^^ your personality type doesn't define you
elise i know i was just sharing how im different and wondering if anyone else was the same way since most seem to hate talking on the phone..
Yeah, theres only a select few ppl im okay with talking otp with, and even encourage to call me. But that just mean I enjoy your company and talking to you
I think maybe also 'being controlled'. Every INFP I've met hates being told what to do. It's why I love them so 💜
LOL. I had a cashier telling me yesterday about why I should take advantage of 'rewards programs' - not the one of that business, but just generally. While I could get his logic, it just - bugged me, and I could feel myself resisting ....
That would be misinterpreted if someone is stubborn, personality wise. But it would make more sense if it indeed has correlation with the cognitive type of INFP. I'm nitpicking but in a positive way, no trying to annoy you! Just wanted to clarify. :)
Though I don't know a whole lot about types, I did learn that it's about cognitive types and not personality wise which is why I made that comment!
Yes this is sooooo true
For myself, it would be more accurate to say that I don't like people who don't respect my intelligence/individuality. I don't mind following orders or instructions, if I understand the reason why. If I don't know why I'm doing something then chances are I won't want to do it.
The question I always hated hearing is "what are you thinking?" Dude how much time do you have?
No no... I wouldn't actually bother answering that question... I'd rather get back into my mind than telling people what's going on in there...
I'm sorry I'm just curious 😔
This actually made me laugh. Are you kidding me? Asking an INFP what he/she is thinking. Our minds is like buzzing non stop. Don't we look contemplative all the time?
I always answer nothing, even though is the complete opposite
@@persian338 I do the same thing. Like, I don't want to waste your time trying to explain a bunch of stuff that doesn't mean anything to you.
INFP here:
Don't do these things because you'll break my brain. I will freeze and I'll need to do a hard restart.
Now, mix being that INFP with being autistic - oh, what a life! :D
If only it was as simple as freezing and (not) awaiting for someone to restart it. My head just boils up and I don't know what to expect later.
@@alonespirit9923 same here
Sooo what I'm getting from this is:
"INFPs have a *lot* going on in their brains, so try to not add to that :)"
-ISTP
Yes! And most of it is the 'why am I doing this' or 'what are my thoughts on this'. That's part of why we hate quick decisions. We aren't given the time to think it through and make the most informed choice. However, that's also why we tend to give such good advice. We take the time to look at it from all angles and examine everything. :)
Kaila Y 🙌🏻🙌🏻
Thank you. Just thank you.
Exactly
Thank you. That's kind:)
As an INFP, whenever someone asks me how I’m feeling or what are my thoughts, I feel like saying
*”HNGGDRF FFFGH JSJJN ARGHHHFTRR”*
Accurate 😂 I end up saying I don't know...
Same. I hate when someone asks me what I'm thinking when I'm lost in thought.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
relatable
SAME HAHAHAHAH
"Don't dismiss their feeling" is the MOST important thing to me. Being an INFP, people telling me that I overreact or that "this thing is not that important" is the worst... I always care about how people feel and it hurts me so much when they don't.
Also, people are always laughing at me for not being able to take a quick decision haha. Choosing is the hardest thing!
As an INTP, I really couldn't give a rat's ass about how anyone feels about anything. If you think something is important, present me with a rationale why it is. I can deal with logic, but feelings are often nonsense.
Harry Potter i would love to think as rational as you do .-.
Olivia Morelli me too
Olivia Morelli I’ve called it Decidiphobia my whole life
"Don't force them to answer quickly."
I can absolutely relate, because processing the question usually begins only after the entire question has been asked, and as you have stated, we also need time to evaluate it.
Greetings from a fellow INFP.
I have to have someone repeat the question once or twice cuz I for some reason was unable to process. probably because I was battling a demon in my mind and I'm just like "Hold on!! I almost got him!" I swear INFP's are stone's throw from Schizophrenia
I'm an INFP too. And yes I can relate to that. Sometimes i need a whole night to think (rather overthink) before I answer. And then think again if I did say the right thing.
Yes! For the love of God give me time! Haha!
Same!! My mom says it’s rude that I “ignore her” when I’m actually thinking of something to answer that question
This always happens
“Don’t tell them their intentions are bad/wrong” I felt that at my highest and lowest spiritual level. I know what I’m doing, I know what path I want to go on, JUST BE PATIENT WITH ME
Wow! That's the exact conversation I'm having right now with my brother. The hard part is the frustration I feel. Why is it necessary for me to get through to family. Well certain ones, closest I guess? Is the communication of opposing thoughts supposed to come to a resolution?
I was surprised about that advice. i'd never noticed i become upset everytime someone do so!! that explains why i self-destructs after making dicisions that disappoint my parents, Because of Those DENIES!
I should be more aware of that emotions from now on.
Me too hahahaha
FR
My ex did this all the time, and she was masterful at picking apart anything I said or did to prove how dishonest and selfish she thought I was.
It's interesting how easily hurt we are while we only strive for harmony
Any tips to get better at not feeling hurt?
As you say, we only strive for harmony. I want to be able to feel ok while doing so. And not hurt all the time. "There are people whose lives are worse off than yours" I'm often told. And it's difficult to explain that I am not being ungrateful. I just have other things that are more important to me than the ones people tell me to be grateful about. I feel like I'm hurting others and getting hurt by others all the time that way.
so true
Mindfully tell yourself, "don't take things personally." Whatever someone's perceptions of you are, it's just a flawed, not fully informed approximation of who you are. You'll grow, change and be somebody different, but closer to who you really are, by next week anyway.
Not everyone is going to like us. That's ok.
The extremely messed up, inauthentic, spiritual vampires want to destroy you, some immediately with force, some gradually with "love."
That's not ok. Gtf away from them ASAP.
@@soulfulspec Seeing things from other's perspectives is exactly what we do, even to the point of feeling their feelings with them. We just don't express it outwardly like you, because our feelings are introverted. I don't have "nice guy syndrome," in that I do what I do out of love or like for the other, out of my store of love in my heart, that just gets bigger every time I give it away. That inner harmony you speak of is us making sure our thoughts, feelings, words and actions are congruent with who we are, our purpose, and especially our inner integrity/value system/conscience. I don't really consider weather people like me, just that I like them for them (not because they do the same things as me, we even agree on anything whatsoever, or they have something I want). Usually I don't put my wants or even needs into the "equation." I can go hours neglecting going to the bathroom or days without eating or sleeping while I'm concentrating on solving other's problems. Don't know if that qualifies as "altruistic." I forget about it 30 seconds later anyways, because I'm on to 14 other things (or daydreams).
Now, I'm surprised, disappointed and sometimes a lot indignant when someone projects their own ulterior motives or manipulative ways onto me or what I've done. I know precisely how genuine I was, but question if I could've done a dozen variables even better. It's a natural, self imposed wound. If someone pokes at that wound, the inner turmoil becomes an outie. Look up "throw can of gas in volcano" video, if you'd like a fitting metaphor.
INFJ's can like us (or not), but they'll never understand us. You don't think like us. I can see your point(s) of view, but you'll sadly never see mine (INFJ sister, 2 daughters, son). For all your ability to see right through everyone else, you really can't see through an INFP. It's because you'll sometimes compromise inwardly or manipulate to bring outward harmony. You're not evil for doing that anymore than we are selfish or unreasonable for being unwilling to budge, or even blowing up, at a certain point if something violates our life long fine tuned, individualized sense of right and wrong. There's really nothing to see through in an INFP. We're the same person when no one is looking.
Exult in your altruism. I don't even know what that means, other than a lot of people seem to pat themselves on the back with it...kind of like "self esteem." I'd rather have character, but would be the last to call myself virtuous. Yet, somebody asked me what I'd get for myself if I won the lottery. I told him all the cool things I'd get or do for others with great excitement... "No no, what would you do for YOU?"
"Huh ???"
We're both different, not superior, or inferior nor any other contrivance.
I hate to be asked to explain myself and what I'm doing. Do any other INFP's feel that way too?
I don't mind being asked. I'm quite happy to explain my reasons. But if you don't really care, or are just doing it to be belligerent, or I just explained it to someone else with you standing right there not listening, *that's* when I have a problem. You have to TRULY want to know.
Ron Paul Forever I literally cannot explain myself or my actions much at all. I get really overwhelmed if someone is angry and asks me why did you do that? I understand how annoying it must be for them but I literally cannot explain at that point in time. I have to go away and sort it out.
Absolutely!
YES! Omg. I hate giving explanations because when I try it just doesn't... work. It never comes out how it really was inside my head, and it's usually very confusing and doesn't make much sense, even for me lol. It usually ends up with people thinking I am reckless or impulsive. God, even I sometimes think I am impulsive, when in reality I always have A LOT of reasons as to why I'm doing this thing, I just cannot explain :)
@Surface Scracher Lol
I dont mind with many task, just dont annoy me when im trying to get them done
nice distinction!
I thought the comment said "I dont mind with many task, just don't annoy with getting them done" ..haha
Yes!
P O W E R - R E D - B U L L this is also accurate lol.
@@SoaringShitty it's that PORL Se huh ;)
"I don't really have a strong opinion on that. Life of INFPs" lmao story of my life.
Being called boring hurts a heck of a lot more than one thinks it does. It's almost akin to saying "You have nothing of worth in any relationships. No one would want to hang out with you"
Considering how being an introvert leads to having less friends, sometimes I worry that this is actually true. Heck, most people only seem to value me because I listen and can give some counseling
if you get called boring as an infp just realise that they don't understand you
It’s a really sucky feeling. It takes
me awhile to warm up to a situation and new people so at first I come across as boring but once I’m comfortable it’s like a personality switch, people are usually shocked. I think we need to find people who are patient enough to see the whole us. Not everyone is and that’s okay. There’s certain personality types I can’t be around: too overwhelming, so maybe it’s similar for them: we’re too underwhelming for some.
Sorry for rambling btw. I’m processing what you said bc I’ve felt that so much.
I think we need to be more patient with ourselves as well. And not expect us to open up right away in social situations.
when they ask you for suggestion, and skip through your suggestion... infuriating. makes me question why do i even exist XD
lol! Yes
Me too 😂😅
There's a name for that... XD
Ask-hole: One who asks for your advice, and then disregards it. Severity is determined by repetition.
Man, I felt that so hard...
The amount of times I have felt invisible in social and work situations... haha
1. Don't overwhelm them with random tasks 1:04
2. Don't insult their intentions 1:50
3. Don't call them boring 3:46
4. Avoid pressuring them to explain ethical choices 5:03
5. Don't dismiss feelings 6:22
6. Don't pressure them to answer quickly 7:39
As an INFP I actually have a tendency to find other people boring. I've also actually gotten very good at explaining my ethical choices. I don't mind being pressured to answer quickly if the other person is willing to be part of the process of decision making. What I don't like is people who refuse to be involved and insist that you make every decision on your own without any input or discussion from them. I don't mind random tasks as long as I can give a few of my own to you. No one actually likes to be given random tasks no matter what your personality type. Ultimately, we value open discussions and understanding over judgment and criticism because the latter is lacking in all kinds of context.
@@olive4naito I am ENFJ and INFP :D....The majority of personality tests try to put us in the boxes when we change every day a little and observe the world quite uniquely.... Adding on top of that language interpretation etc. I ''take'' what resonates with me and leave the inaccurate interpretation of my choices behind. I love people, I am truly energized by humans, but my growth point is loneliness and my self-work.... The time when I can think and resolve myself..and I don't feel lonely, I really love it.
@@madamevampsilverkim9242 I agree wholeheartedly. It truly gets irritating when generic weaknesses applicable to a larger number of people get attributed to a tiny group.
This is literally it!!!!! He explains it so well, I have nothing more to say.
time to harass my infp friend 😂
oh. as an infp, i hate it when people call me, "people pleaser". i mean, come on, not all will agree with one thing. at least let's look for a common ground. 🙄
Sherlyn De La Cruz there’s not always a common ground. i’m an intp watching this so i don’t annoy my infp friend and i think believing that is as much of a weakness as it is a strength
@@daisywilliams2551 of course there IS always a common ground. that's why the "subject" is brought up. Both should be patient and calm enough to find it. ergo, compromise.
Sherlyn De La Cruz maybe on plans and activities, but not viewpoints and opinions
@@daisywilliams2551 maybe.. but not entirely impossible.
I’m usually the mediator to most arguments. It’s cause I think to myself “if I don’t find a compromise for those two different ideologies, then no one else will” and I really don’t like hate, violence and conflict of any kind. I try my best to keep my peace ✌️ with people and treat how I want to be treated. I also dislike burning my bridges with people and find myself always being in one sided friendships with me doing all the effort and the other people can probably care less 👎😔
As an INFP with emotional regulation issues it's so frustrating when I express how I feel, and then people try to talk me out of it. Like... I already know what I'm feeling is completely irrational and all the reasons why. You explaining it to me isn't going to change anything, I've already had that conversation with myself many times over. Just let me express that feelings are hard and then let me move on with my life. :(
Yep we are our own therapist
You've just explained something that I failed to put into words
Woah, yeah! Wow! That’s it. Had that problem with the girl I was dating. Trying to explain why I feel said. It’s a struggle.
I feel your pain 😭
Ya it's really happening with me 😢
Fun little story from an INFP:
I've only had a few relationships in my life, and none of them lasted longer than 6 months. The worst one came when I dated a girl who cheated on me in the first 2 months. I forgave her do to trauma and emotional issues that she had, but then I found out she did it again later. And this time she blamed me for never asking her about her problems. I never tried to understand her feelings, and this time she lashed out and called me an *"emotionless, hypocritical, oblivious, sheltered lab rat."*
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, if you ever want to ruin a relationships, or even friendship with an INFP then look no further than these 6 words.
Where the hell does sheltered lab rat even comes from?
I'm guilty too for getting attracted to crazy girls. I put up barriers to everyone. Emotional and Oblivious would more likely describe myself
"Ok, move on next step XD I don't need those kind of people to be at my side" XD
especially when those 6 words are coming from an intp parent who doesn't know how to feel :)
Yeah that’d do it. Those words are the end of any relationship.
The same with ENFJ
If a 73 year old INFP. It seems odd to say that I'm very intelligent and yet Innocent at the same time. I've never lost my innocence. I just want to love people, places and things, and mostly of my life, especially women, people have made up what they think my intentions are. I never could understand that - when "can't you see my intentions are pure?" I hate explaining. "Can't you see I'm a good man wanting to love and be loved in return?" I'm bored with all the gymnastics, the games people play, which is maybe why people would think I'm boring. I'm a dreamer and a fiction writer and would rather be alone doing that then pretending to be someone I'm not.
INFP anthem: "I'm just a poor boy whose intentions are good,/Please, don't let me be misunderstood!"
I’m sure INFPs are still interesting in a playful witty way (when we feel secure & comfortable in our own skin with the right company) but we don’t play manipulative or disingenuous games. That ‘boring’ is just a veneer because too much inside of us might not fit in with the particular group of ppl or haven’t find it’s place yet. (: ENFP & INFP are too multidimensional to be truly boring. There’s too much curiosity, creativity, awe & wonderment of ideas in the highs, so much melancholy, pain or vulnerability in the lows? :p And not enough time to read all the books & explore interests in the world.
@@Bebbolove Naaa - we're boring - to most people. Either we don't say anything - which makes us boring - because we know that the other will find whatever we say boring, or we talk and the other finds what we're talking about boring. Once in a while, if we're lucky, we run into someone who doesn't find us boring.
David Dakan Allison wow you’ve just described me
nozecone One man’s meat another man’s poison.. hah..
Cliche.. But we also find certain small talk that is gossipy, shallow & unnecessarily viral/rumour mongering boring & useless.. so I suppose it goes both ways.. But I do know a handful of INFP instagram bloggers who are interactive on social media & lots of ppl respond in depth to their quirky discussions (usually around 200+ comments) & have loyal followers. And overtime, the INFP do eventually befriend some of the followers& meet up with in real life, become gd friends over the years. That’s a perk of social media I suppose- u get to meet your kind of ppl by being your authentic self 🙂.
If someone's finding you, as an INFP, boring then it's their loss. There are plenty of people who will find you very interesting.
I agree if someone finds you boring it's because the INFP has not shown all the great world they have inside...very talented people with a lot to give.
@@PS-xb9hc Yeah, I feel like some people think me boring. It's just because I don't show all of me, if I feel comfortable around you/we talk about something where I find myself, trust me, I could talk hours.
Idk why I'm replying to a year old comment, but yes, you are completely correct (I think).
As an INTP, I find these people _extremely_ interesting. They are literally chaos that's in the calmest way possible, with the "purest" yet "thoughtful" heart in terms of goodness. Too kind to the point I trust them 5mins I know them (not really a joke). Never had I ever see people other than them who are so delicately warm.
The thing is people, in fact the majority of people who actually have energy, feels discomforted when they stay in a calm state for long, hence the discrimination "boring". They aren't entirely wrong, being also IN P makes me relate to you guys that we are just less active on the surface, but they should look under your sea level between outsides and insides before thinking they know you. Good thing I got a deep brain so that I understand you more.
-INTP on the internet
(please let me know you see my comment)
@@KaigaiCocoBeer thank you, that's warm my heart
"we have to evaluate and balance everything that we do"
so true. even when i'm speaking, i'm constantly pausing and self-evaluating, seeing if i'm saying what i truly mean in the best way and making sure my words won't be misinterpreted and harm someone. it's exhausting (probably for the listener as much as for me), but i can't help doing it.
I've always had this internal fear of being misunderstood or have my words misinterpreted. One of the main reasons I struggled speaking at all as a kid..
Yeah :/ then I keep overthinking what I said because people will eventually try to twist your words around and misinterpret it with their own perspective. That’s why whenever I present in front of class, I try to make sure I don’t miss anything I should say without making anyone feel bad about themselves. I guess it’s true of the saying “you can be a perfect peach 🍑 or apple 🍎 and there’ll always be someone that doesn’t like peaches and apples”
That saying itself has temporarily relieved me from overthinking and over stressing myself for no reason since I sometimes tend to dwell on something for a long time.
I guess Newtown’s lesser known rule of physics is “an INFP will dwell on something until there’s finally a solution/closure to whatever is making them stress out”
I just made that up, but I honestly think it can be true. I tend to find myself thinking about stuff longer than most people probably spend time thinking about it.
I think that’s why some people go to me for advice sometimes since they probably assume I research a lot about a certain subject and trust that I can give them a “good” answer. Idk.
Omg, sometimes I just stop in the middle of a sentance for a bit and then start back up later. Bless my friends for knowing me well enough to wait till my mouth catches up to my brain.
Misinterpretation is such a big deal for me, totally feel you there.
I really, really hate when someone insults my intentions. This makes me sooooo mad. I haven’t been called boring but I have dealt with all the others.
Absolutely a big trigger to me. Once someone talkdown me on my intention, that hit me hard
My sister does this to me all the time...
Yep, same here. You can question my actions any time you like, I make a lot of mistakes. But my intentions have always been nothing but the best I could imagine, and often aiming for much better than most people expect of themselves.
I hate it when someone questions my integrity! Seriously, I am not the person who is going to put myself ahead of anyone else...very frustrating when people project their own agendas on your actions!
@@JF59122 I have a sister like that too... made me feel worse about myself than I could do to myself, turns out she's a covert narcissist and putting me or my intentions down made her feel better about herself. This took years of examples for me to realize she truly wasn't in my corner and I've distanced myself from her greatly, for my own mental and emotional health. Maybe this isn't your situation but we need to get real with who is and is not lifting us up! 💓💓
for me (INFP) the “don’t pressure me to explain my ethics” comes down to my fear of confrontation as well. i don’t want to argue with anyone who might disagree with me if i explain. i just want to have my values and let other people have theirs. i also don’t want to make people feel bad if they don’t follow my values, like i would if it was the other way around, so i’d rather just make sure i’m sticking to my own values and again let people do their own thing. but still get sad when i see people do things i find not very nice, haha
MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Me... my silence and distance preceived as arrorgant, selfish and non-chalant. When in fact i just avoid arguing with someone which is not in line with me.. i just trying to avoid conflict.
Trying to figure out how to show this to my husband without coming off passive aggressive, lol.
Lol!
what's your type? hahha
Lmao it would totally come off as passivr aggressive xD
@@Juju-tw7we I'm infp
@@kaylaphillips6007 OHH! what's your partner's mbti? :)
I feel like sometimes we struggle to word our thoughts when making a decision because our head and heart are so busy and focused on feeling things out that we have not enough concentration on talking about it. At least that's the reason for me. I'm unable to multitask in that way...😂
Yeah there's not a lot of language for it unless we intentionally put it to language... but that never seems to fully suffice.
Keiri Feder I know right
Yes!!
Can completely relate!! I feel like there’s not enough bandwidth to deal with it all in the moment...
i think we struggle with word our thoughts because we dont think words, we think things...
can u understand this?
Idk if this is just me but i hate when people see me in a way that is totally out of my control. Like you can hate me for something i did. You can not hate me if you don't know me and you made the decision on an assumption or not really getting to know me, it makes me crazy.
Same
Yeah that's a big one as well for sure. I dealt with that a lot in highschool and as a foreigner in Japan.
Completely agree, totally feel you on this
And i also can't stand if someone i care about sees me in a negative way. Especially if i have good intent and was coming for a good place.
SAME
My Hubby is an INFP. He’s my best friend. I’m an INFJ- what I love about him most is I can always trust that any wrong he does was on accident. We have some family members that play games. He never does. We don’t like those kind of games.
I don’t think he’s boring- people just don’t give him enough time to get his thoughts out. He is great thoughts, he just needs time to masticate his thoughts before he spits them out.
Wonder if Perrin Aybarra was an INFP from wheel of time series.
Side note- one of our favorite movies is the Secret Life of Walter Mitty- an extreme INFP. We love that movie.
I have sensed most INFPs have a secret internal world that very few ever get to see. I suspect they journal about this place at times though I am not certain. ENFP.
Nicely put!! Like the part about not having enough time to masticate thoughts before spitting them out. Definitely have the same trouble. We need less thinking and more spitting lol
Omg yes on wheel of time!!! Love that you called this out!
Secret Life of Walter Mitty! YESSSSS 🙌🏼
"I can always trust that any wrong that he does was by accident". Yes! And it is a big surprise when you first come to realise this! There is no scheming, he is fundamentally good, what a revelation!
2:47: "you had bad intentions"
me, through teary eyes: nEEEVER 😡🥺
With the last one I really really hate that.
"When do you wanna get picked up"
Me: oh around 6
"Well I'll just pick you up now" *is only 1pm*
Or "do you want pizza or a sandwich"
Me: pizza
"Nah let's get sandwiches"
Like why even ask me if you don't actually care about my opinion
This is why I don't like making decisions
At least you made a decision!
I have had this same conversation with people and have reacted the very same way.
Yes, because it's sooooo hard to make a decision, I really thought about it, saying it out loud produced a lot of anxiety, and to have the other person dismiss it feels like a personal attack 😅😑
Sometimes i dont say what i think or if i prefer something because i always want people to be comfortable, so when i get asked about something and then denied it's not about what i think, what makes me upset is the thought that the other person does not care about my feelings or my comfort the way i do about theirs.
Spot on
“Don’t overwhelm them with tasks” explains why I’m still in college for five years....
nada A I’ve being there 6 and still dropped it.
Im on my fifth year now too and will FINALLY be graduating on December ahaha you'll get there too!! You got this 🤗
I procrastinate to the last second every time
And why I'm such a bad mom for 2 kids :( when they were little they often had 2 completely opposite needs they were expressing ("wanna play with my train now AT HOME!" "Wanna go out out OUT!") I can deal with one, but in such case whatever I did, one child was unhappy and I was a bad mom to that one child :(
I'm in my five years too.. Damn
I often feel that I struggle with words because I have all the different phrasings (synonyms etc) of the thought coming to my head at the same time and I would like to use the most accurate sentence, the one that describes perfectly what I want to say. I much prefer writing because I can take the time to carefully choose my words, change the sentences round, re-read. About making choices, I also feel we are open to so many different things that we're overwhelmed by the possibilities.
Same here
SAME
I'll agree with making choices, but language has always come naturally to me. Often a word will come into my head and I won't necessarily know the definition, but if I look it up, it's usually exactly the one I wanted for the situation (I've been mistaken, but rarely). I do prefer writing, but I've got a lot better at spoken communication as I've got a bit older.
So relatable
Harkz0r i do the same thing! i tried explaining that to people in my college class i was sitting with when i was talking about writing our paper, and they all kinda acted like that was weird haha
I literally started crying while listening to this because I've never felt so understood!
Same 😅😰😭❤️
Same !
As an INFP...If you ask them to do these things and they do it unusual,look like struggling...
Right: let them do their way even if there are/is easier Solutions. They know better :)
Wrong: interrupt them and telling what to do that you think a lot easier even if they do, Never ever do that because it annoys them and they feel like they're not capable at doing things :)
Can we take a moment to appreciate this wizard library background!
I noticed that too and was like, "WOW! That's so awesome!"
Fairly certain it’s a greenscreen. I don’t know if you realized that, but it’s cool nonetheless. Very INFP-like.
Oh man lol
I was just thinking that
I accept that im boring if nothing interest me in our conversation 😁
Most people seem to find conversation itself boring - especially if it gets beyond TV, sports, or gossip.
True!!!
Easy way out
My dad: Hey can you get me the remote?
Me:*stops the video* Ugh, Ok... *Gives the remote*
Me: *Is about to sit down and continue to watch the video*
My dad: Also, while you're at it, bring me some water will you?
Me:*intense breathing*
In my head: Get it yourself you lazy selfish man. Why is your time and activity more valued than what I am up to do. Just because it looks like I am doing nothing on the phone does not mean I am actually doing nothing. My activity is very important for me. Also why the hell can't you get it yourself? Don't ask for a favor for such trivial things. Ask for it when you really need help. I hate when you micromanage me. I am not your servant, treat me as an equal not like a small human pet, that you can order around.
Reality: I will walk very slowly for the remote, maybe even catch myself mumbling the thoughts in my head and passing the remote passive aggressively, hoping that the message is clear: I am NEVER doing this again!
Same here
Why has this exact situation happened to me T_T
@@speedy1773 Omg same here
Yeah true
" Don't dismiss their emotions!"
Emotional neglect: ITS SWEEPIN TIIIME
As an INFP with anxiety, I really respect that you took the time to show people how to respect INFPs. I have a lot that goes through my brain, and even after learning coping strategies, I still need to unlearn stereotypes and other bull that society and school has planted in my head.
10:03 "Anyway * laughs nervously * .... Got a little bit passionate about that..."
As an fellow INFP, I have noticed this personality's habit of being driven by whatever comes to mind and somehow seem like you're daydreaming. It's somehow sad and beautiful at the same time that we get ourselves stuck between our own world and the real world. This video just explains everything 👌
I am an INFP and a vegan and I HATE when people push me to explain myself
Same
I am also an INFP and a vegan.
yeees same haha... kinda hard when you do cube of truth
Same! INFP and been vegan for almost 5 years
I find people who do that with subjects like veganism, are not actually looking for your opinion, but looking to argue it and prove you wrong. All so they can justify their own bad behavior.
Me, as an INFP with high functioning autism. All of my INFP qualities are basically doubled in intensity, it can be rough.
Yep, same.
Most INFPS: anxiety
Me: _ANXIETY_
南雲Haruya I was thinking exactly the same about myself
Yes, yes, yes. I resemble this remark. 🙃
Ryuuji •
Ack same! I have Asperger’s and I sometimes get confused as to whether I actually am an INFP or if it’s just my autistic traits-
Count me in too. INFP, autistic, enneagram 4w5
man, I just feel at home here. feels like there's a whole level of acceptance of being an infp in the comment section like bruh, we same. "I feel ya. right?? isnt this an infp thing???"
“Don’t overwhelm with tasks” I guess that’s why I’m having such a hard time catching up in school...
thank you for attacking me in whispers, it felt less insulting lol
🤣🤣
Hahahaha yes xD
LMAO!!! this killed me
Lmfao 🤣
I’m an INFJ with an INFP bf, and this video makes my love for him feel renewed. We’ve been together for almost 5 years. ❤️
I'm an INFJ guy in first few months w INFP lady and taking it sloww. She worried the 1st weeks if was boring me but knows now I love what she says and Does. Perhaps will end up casual / back n forth or mayybee a power couple...
I'm an INFP married to an INFJ. The fact that INFJ's are watching this is spot on 😊. Remind your INFP you appreciate and love them, it'll go a long way.
@@PrismCasillica Thank you!
I'm an INFP married to an INTP. We're super compatible yet the "T" and "F" love to butt heads from time to time. LOL
Yes me too and I was about to comment the same.
I always have a notepad with me for work. I keep a running list of tasks because I know once I get focused on one, the rest will be completely forgotten if I don’t write them down. Lol!
Another trick I do for quick decision making (but only for non-important, personal decisions) is to look at the last digit of the current time.
If it ends in a 7 that equals a yes.
If it ends in a 3 that equals a no.
If it ends in a number not 3 or 7, I go with either 3 or 7 depending on which the number is closest to.
If it ends in a 5 or 0 (median numbers between 3 and 7) then I HAVE to make the decision for myself.
Maybe not the best system, but it makes deciding if I want to stop and buy a coffee before work a much more simple, and less time consuming, decision than it would be if I tried to decide on my own.
Indecision - the life of an INFP.....it’s like trying to analyze all the different combinations of a Rubik’s cube with someone looking over your shoulder asking “Are you done yet??” With every little turn.
Great video! Sending this to my husband 😂 I’m constantly telling him “DONT ask me what I want! Give me two options and I’ll tell you which one”
Anyone else still have to look at the menu of a restaurant every time you go, even though you’ve been there plenty of times before and the menu hasn’t changed? 😂
Oh....wow...you are inside my head! I resonated with everything you said haha and I think I'll try out that "time" decision-making process, it sounds relieving 😂
Ooo, great idea! Haha. Normally I flip a coin or I tell my husband to make me choose between 1 or 2 without letting me know which is which. So I'll pick a number and then if I don't like it, then we go with the other one. I trick myself into finding out which one I really want. Hahahahaha
@@Kaori57 that's what I do too! I flip a coin in my head and see which option I hope it lands on haha
I do that too @Namame :) If I have any resentment against it when it's been chosen, I know it's not the one I should go with.
Nice INFP hacks! :) It actually sounds fun to do it like that.
That feeling you get when you say all the right words in the right order and you've actually said what you wanted to say and you can tell that the person you're talking to has actually paid attention to you because they have a thoughtful response. 🤗😊❤️
yes!
HELL, YES! (BACK FLIP!)
08:05 😂when he says something then stops for a bit to rethink it ,classic INFP
this is related to 6 - i actually spend a lot of time when i'm alone thinking through how i would respond to questions. like if this person asked me what i thought about [blank] how would i answer? and what words would i use?
I do that so often
I imagine discussion with ppl and friends
The best answer always comes up when the discussion is over...
@@persian338 righttt
Me too, I often have these hypothetical discussions of various topics with myself (in my head). Sometimes it's because I want to explore a certain subject from different perspectives. But sometimes I'm doing it to avoid potential future awkward social situations, so I want to prepare/practice potential responses. But they either never actually happen, or by the time it actually happens I've completely forgotten what I had practiced/thought up lol.
I am more on the assertive side, and I have no issue with expressing my ethics. The epitome of my ethics is don’t be an asshole and to love.
#1 for me: don't insult my intentions - it's incredibly hurtful when someone assumes I have bad motivations. But when I step back it's because of other people's twisted minds and inability to trust, not really about me. Still hurts though from early life trauma.
#2 dismissing feelings - pretty obvious why
#3 overwhelmed with tasks - first of all I prefer not to be told what to do, or how to do something that I'm good at (just happen not to prioritize at present). Otherwise, a list of tasks should be presented in a logical order and shown connections (meaning /reasons). Otherwise I'm likely to arrange them according to my judgment and do them on my own time schedule.
?? being called boring? It's downright rude, noone appreciates that. I accept that t's inevitable that I'm boring to someone, just like a conversation between ESXX people is boring to INXX, but while I have to endure such events I look for ways to remove myself from them, not to label someone as boring
This is nearly the same for INTPs but change;
'don't ask us to explain our ethics' to 'don't ask us to explain our emotions'
and 'don't dismiss our feelings' with 'don't dismiss our logic'
The explaining of ethics. That one got me 😂
"I don't know either or really."
- Literally my response to every decision ever.
I always think "Get better at...", is a bad advise. If you want to give me an advise, you should tell me HOW to get better. I know I have to get better, but usualy I don't know how.
In addition to that, sometimes "Get better at such and such" is just bad advice full stop, in my opinion--whether you give more detailed advice on how or not. Depending on where the person receiving the advice is in their life.
It's probably because I spent a number of years really taking it to heart when people kept pushing me to "get better at" things that were characteristics of my personality, and as a result I ended up falling into a state that was probably pretty close to clinical depression. And in my current phase of healing from that, I'm experiencing a lot of anger at people who I perceive as not giving me my space to get better at things on my own terms. So, for that reason, that bit at the end quite frankly pissed me off.
I don't know, maybe it's because he's a Nine and I'm a Four, with that whole prizing uniqueness thing that we Fours have going on, that I don't see a reason why we should necessarily even strive to all be the same and be good at the same things. Isn't the whole reason why we all have strengths and weaknesses supposed to be so that someone who is predisposed to be good at something can jump in and take care of something that someone else is not so good at, and so that we can work together and compliment each other's weaknesses with our strengths?
It's one thing to try to transcend one of those personal boundaries you have if you can't get away from the person who is doing them or can't convince them to stop. Or at the very least, get better at managing your emotions when they cross one of those boundaries. Like for example if the person is your boss or you are dependent on them in some way for basic needs. Then, you might have to say, this isn't an ideal situation for me but it can't be helped. But even then, check in and make sure that the only thing keeping you locked into that work environment isn't fear of change or something like that before you totally accept that it can't be helped. It very well might be that the situation can't be changed, because capitalism sucks and a lot of people are getting trapped in situations where they don't want to be because of debt or not being able to find another job or whatever. But it never hurts to check in every now and then and ask yourself if there's really nothing you can do to get out of that situation--accepting that the answer might be yes, there is nothing.
But can we f@$%ing not with the whole exhortation to learn how to accept when people cross your boundaries for the pure sake of learning how to accept it thing? Can some boundaries just be non-negotiable? Especially when it comes to friends and lovers and people whom you have an actual choice of whether you allow them into your life or not? (God forbid that said lover could be someone you are financially dependent on and that prevents you from leaving them if need be. I know there are plenty of people in that situation, too).
I've reached my limit of how much I can listen to people advising me to try to learn how to soften certain hard, non-negotiable boundaries of mine without it making me angry. I'm at the point of, "Look, these are things I will tolerate and these are things I won't tolerate. Period. End of story. Take it or leave it."
Maybe twenty years from now, when I'm sixty, I will once again be at a place where some of these boundaries might be more open to negotiation, and I will be better able to listen to advice such as what was at the end of this video without feeling angry. But for now, I'm just not at that place because being pushed to accept things before I was ready caused me too much pain in the past which I haven't been able to process yet.
Good point! Would you like content on how I would recommend doing those things based on what’s worked for me / how it’s helped me?
@Messina so good! Thank you for sharing this.
So true about people making assumptions about your intentions.
My ex used to do this all the time and it made me preemptively say, "im not doing this because [insert sketchy intention)..." which would make him distrust me even more lol That one didn't last long.
I tell my mom so often "I need a multiple choice not a full in the blank"
this is the most healing thing to watch, I’ve never heard someone express so perfectly why these things bother me so much. Thank you!!!
Don't ever dismiss feelings it doesn't matter who they are that should be a universal thing
3:56 “ that’s for me to call myself when I don’t like myself” well said !!
8:00 and the worse thing, literally no one would care when I voice it out. I need time to evaluate what I wish to say and it takes time, and I know that I am causing an inconvenience because of that, which makes me feel worse, and it just becomes a downward spiral. Like, I have all my points ready with me, but right before I say it, I'm like "should I say it, should I not, should I word it more properly, is this point even relevant, etc" and it just ruins me. This is why I usually avoid debates, despite the fact that I long to be in one, I want to voice my opinions and spew out facts, but when I am there, the inner debate in me to begin and ruin everything, because debates don't wait.
Edit: things are improving though...
As an INFP writing a list of tasks and crossing them off makes number one so much manageable. I even write down things I’ve accomplished that day just to cross it off because the sense of accomplishment motivates me.
"Don't overwhelm them with tasks."
How badly I want to put up a 'do not disturb' sign or a ' don't talk to me' sign on my face when I'm working. 😂😂😂
PS. Its nothing personal. 😅
Lmfao same
Another INFP with an opinion here 👋🏻
#1 YES absolutely agree, my mom does this to me and I have to tell her to give me one step at a time
#2 Yes I really don't mean to forget things! It just happens and I get carried away with something else. Don't think I'm blowing you off, please!
#3 I think this one boils down to hating the idea that we (INFPs) aren't destined for something greater. And the fear that we don't mean anything. And like you said, how dare you call us boring when we have sooo much going on! Problem is, it's all in our minds :) agree with this one full heartedly.
#4 I haven't really come across this much. I think I usually can explain why I believe what I believe.
#5 Unlike you, I grew up with a lot of Thinkers. Therefore I have come across this problems many times. I'm thankful you put it in here because it's one of my pet peeves!
#6 I make decisions like that too. If I don't feel strongly about it, whatever. But if I've already made up my mind, good luck changing it!
Overall: thanks for the video! Very well done and accurate to me.
Thanks for the detailed comment Anna!
It's nice to know that it was accurate for other people too! I hesitated for uh.. 350 videos to make a video like this. I guess I'm glad I did!
@@GeekPsychology That was quite a while! But I'm glad you did too, and I'm glad you waited, since I only recently found your channel!
My sister: what music you wanna listen to
Me: something instrumental
My sister: okay let’s listen to Taylor Swift
Me: fine 😢
Anyone else an INFP and also ADHD? I find so much of the personality type line up with a lot of the symptoms.
Me. i find it FUCKIN' HARD to find the drive to do necessary things that i either don't connect with, or just outright HATE doing, & i get SHIT EASILY distracted. my mind's ALWAYS onto something, but most of the time, NOT something i need to deal with at hand. i'm a type 1 ADHD guy--i could stare at the wall all day without excessive movements, but my brain would DEFINITELY be going around places, most of the time just trying to straighten out the shit found in a naturally wandering mind of an INFP, & essentially gets NOTHING done until i've put my foot down... or just feel desperate enough to need to calm the fuck down, because my priorities are just all over the place...
Yup. I know people with ADHD that are not INFPs... but dayum, it seems like we are build for it. 😕
I'm an INFJ with ADHD & the struggle is so real💗
Being called as boring is the most annoying thing ever that usually comes from the people who think that they know who I am without really knowing 1% of who I am.
when people call me boring i question the entire relationship.
"did you call me here to entertain you? i thought you liked me as a person? i thought i was here to chill or connect or something?"
I can relate to the appointments thing and being overwhelmed with too many tasks...this week I had 3 appointments to reschedule and 😱🤯 I was SO overwhelmed! I really struggle just making appointments in general, I think because it relates to how INFP's are idealists and struggle to commit...making an appointment feels like I'm committing to a specific time of the day in the week, I don't want to have to reschedule it, I want it right the first time 😂 so I take too long in my head attempting to make sure I choose the right time for the appointment. This supposedly simple thing that overwhelms me....😳
I also really hate being misunderstood, even in small things.
My brother is INFP also and you remind me of him in your mannerisms and how you talk :)
Does INFP use a lot of hand gesture, I thought I'm the one who usually do that
Self expresion need
hmm.. mee too..
I don't. It's more of an ethnic-culture thing.
Not me
@@nozecone how do you mean ethnic culture?
When I have been called boring, it has usually been because they asked what I was thinking about - and I told them (usually by "turning up the volume" so they could hear what was going through my head). This would quickly be followed by them saying, "You think too much!" I quickly learned not to do that....
Great video! Another one that happens to me: I get so annoyed when others (narcissistic people mainly) think that since I will end up agreeing with what they suggest, there’s no need for me to be in the conversation - I spend all this time listening and understanding each point of view and I am not included on decisions that might have an impact on me 🤦♂️
Does this also happen to some of you?
Not really decision making but I do get talked over a lot
It’s not so much about being boring. It’s that others expect to be entertained. I don’t bore myself usually.
When most of the people in my life get that deer in headlights stare when I open my mouth.
Like everybody is scared of what I'm going to say or I'm speaking some alien language.
Does anybody else get this besides me?
90% of people respond this way to me.
I get that look😂
I know it's late, I've been trying to find this in the comments but couldn't so here it is:
More than anything else I hate when people judge each other. Like why?? Why do you care about things that simply don't concern you and don't do anything bad to anybody? Also, you never know the full story, there are always some circumstances that you may not be aware of so making judgements is very unfair. Idk if that's only me but world would be so much more beautiful without judgement. Love you all fellow INFPs :DD
I'm an INFJ and I have a friend who's an INFP-- unconsciously I assumed the role as their spokesperson when they're bombarded with decisions to keep them at peace (truly an advocate). I explain my train of thought, then ask if they have any questions, comments, or concerns regarding the conclusion. I ensure to make them not feel rushed by addressing these conversations like an open seminar-- brainstorming ideas. For the most part though, these conversations are brought up by experiences and events they plan on participating in, and to help them be more prepared I discuss topics they are likely to deal with in those events.
I literally like to be called 'boring or weird', it's sweet and it's already a compliment for me. Telling that me I'm boring makes me more creative and unique and myself.
Nobody knows how much it hurts to be called boring. Say anything you want about me, but never ever call me "boring". Thx for calling that out, it needed to be said.
That last one my god haha that’s me all the time. Also when I don’t take time over the decisions I make the weirdest choices!
Although I make weird choices it always ends in me having new experiences even if these are as simple as just choosing new foods. I got so much better at making decisions (apart from when I’m tired) that I started helping others make decisions faster by holding out two hands and imagining each answer in each hand and then getting them to ‘pick a hand’ it’s great!
I do that all the time too! I make some arbitrary distinction like A or B, 1-5 or 6-10, "say stop" etc.
2:55 where he kept saying "things", lol I think only a true Infp would instantly understand what he is saying XD
"Warm blanket, soft comfort, and sinking into that couch..." THIS cracked me up! I always feel like there are these simple pleasures (for me, it's coffee and a window) that just take time to absorb and enjoy fully... then randomly I'll think "Wow, who else needs the better part of an hour to do this in life? What's wrong with me??" But it's often my favorite part of the day. And there is genuine disappointment at taking a sip and realizing the cup is empty. xD
Yessss this is so freaking accurate 😂😂😂😂 also I think INFP's hate being told what to do. That one drives me to the edge.
Very recently, in my 43, i realized that all the "odd" characteristics of mine match with INFP type... It was a kind of enlightenment for me, after that i started to value myself for the first time. In my life, i 've suffered due to all 6!!!!!! You describe it with incredible precision!!!!! I always thought that no one ever understood me....In the end, i got a "burnout" and cancer.......Μaybe, It would be good, if you could make a video about INFP's physical health. In some cases, it is heavily affected by all the frustration caused, when we cannot cope with the psychological matters that emerge during our interaction with the others.
Keep on!!!!!💗
At 28 I’ve only just discovered my personality type, it’s a huge relief and for the first time in my damn life I actually feel understood. I’ve felt different from my peers all my life. Thanks for the vids!
Maybe I can even treat myself as that infp friend, I'm a bad friend sometimes
It can be hard sometimes. I could be a better friend too! :)
I'm ok with the list of tasks. Just don't retrospectively gripe when I did it my way and not have physic powers to have done it your way.
"Avoid pressuring them to discuss ethics" - *ENTP has left the chat*
this is not funny when you're an infp and your dad is an entp
My ENFJ mom in the corner looking at me internally asking me why I was not on her side when both her and her bestfriend fought because of childish reasons: 😄
Man, this video has made me realise how I'm constantly looking for how *I'm* wrong, and not focussing enough on honouring my own preferences. This was refreshing, thank you.
“Good ol’ meat sauce is trusty and reliable”
This is now my favorite out-of-context quote
When he started naming tasks, my challenger side was like; yep, yep, nope. True story.
I have lived my whole life in "I don't have a strong opinion about that." SO, I believe I have lost who I am. It is rough.
“I’ll answer quickly if you know that I can and will probably change my answer once I have fully processed.” 😂😂😂
I’ve never related to a video more. I’m going to send this to my family.
I was thinking just this! Although then realised I need to make sure I scrape my comments, bitching about said family 😂😂 before sharing... inc. this one 🙃
Learning more about INFP'S is absolutely essential as well learning about all personality types, but intuitive, feeling, and sensory types gives us an over all balance.
Awesome learning video appreciate. Thank you from INFJ
Thank you for going through these points. I’m understanding my “INFP” self more. And is great hearing another INFP go through ways we could improve.
Thank you. I have a couple INFP's in my life and I'm trying to care for them better :)
My mother would walk into my room every morning before I was awake and start rambling off lists of things she or I had to do that day. I never understood why it annoyed me soooooooo frickin’ much until this video!!