I feel as tho a lot of,older women of color end up single because we spend our youth waiting on the majority of men to finally get themselves together and when they finally do reach their peak of “success” they no longer want the women they had access too when they were “ at the bottom”. They then decide to get younger women that are usually of another race because black is a reminder of them feeling less than or at the bottom
@@nnekaonyilofor Well I'm not a fella, but here's more of my 2 cents: there's something really sick at work. We did wait on them to grow up. Instead they grew ... warped, crooked and psychologically corrupted... I saw the men of my father's generation, then men of my generation. I saw the disintegration and I began to shrink back; dated outside my culture. I found foreign born black men less damaged, hateful and angry, less self hating. Sure, some were womanizers, but they didn't carry the animosity. They became my preference. Still are. I just watched a video about child marriages in Zambia and why men married 14 yr old girls: to cook, clean, take care of kids, take care of him ...sound familiar? While denying them education and development but claiming it is helping lift poverty. Now female activists are trying to stop child brides so girls can get what??? An education 😏. Surprisingly, there are men there who are supporting that, even men in power are backing it.... I thot to myself, not on your life would I give up knowledge, personal development and agency for marriage
You nailed it! It isn’t a crisis, it’s a mindset. There isn’t a shortage of good men, there is an abundance of unrealistic expectations. Thank you for exposing this.
Unrealistic expectations that these women sincerely feel are reasonable standards. The Prince Charming they all seek is still stuck the fairytale and sadly someone they have never met or passed on because he wasn't quite 6feet tall.
And good men aren’t enough because when they land a good man, in the back of their minds they always think “I can do even better.” This attitude drives them to sabotage the relationship.
@@ayubandiaye i agree.For some reason the thinking of " i can do better." isnt thought out or rationalized. Some think the good guy they pass/passed on is going to be in the better guy but forget that all men are not the same and the one you could have had isnt going to be in the next guy and hes not going to do/have everything they think they are entitled to( ex. be the good guy, have money, respect, honor them, give them all they desire, have the looks etc.) They dont realize all these fairytale standards are not REALITY.
Going back to something KS stated, the "HVM" men that they want see/listen to how disrespectfully they speak about average men. Many of those men were raised by average men and take issue with said disrespect.
They don't need to accept the bare minimum. They should be with a guy they are attracted to. But so many of them have standards that are beyond their reach. And too many of them don't know nor have the qualities that the type of man they want actually wants, nor do they care. They feel he should just want them because they are them.
The woman on the Listen to Black women panel was the same one clowning Michael B Jordan's dream career in high school. If shes single now, she can buy a dog and you know the rest!😊 why should a High value man give her the time of day at age 35? Women need to understand term limits
Some high value men are not interested in making more babies after a certain age. Some high value men prefer to date women in his age range. Not every man is the same. Furthermore, women over 35 usually has her own everything so she has to be selective with who she brings into her world and I wouldn't recommend any woman lowering her standards just to have a man. Lowering standards ruin your life, finances and happiness.
BM aren't turned off by financial or intellectual equals they simply don't generally care to have it. But no man who is a leader wants to be continually challenged by the people he's supposed to lead and protect, and too many chicks who are high intelligence and/or finances don't know how to follow. They want to lead at home the way they do in whatever field they are in, and that doesn't work for the type of guys they want and are attracted to.
@@zee608 you won’t get a Man with that attitude. And it’s obvious you’re projecting your frustration of not getting a Man on your terms. Fit, feminine, friendly is your only instruction. It’s over for Angry, bitter strong & independent women.
@@vanvarner7679 if you have never had or known one that has, that's more of a YOU issue, because there are plenty who do and plenty of videos online of guys who "protect," even at their own detriment, BW they don't even know. Plenty of data showing BM protecting BW and ending up in jail, prison, hospitals, or graves. That said, a leader cannot lead someone who does not wanna be led, and a man is not gonna stick around and deal with a chick that has to be "handled" in order to be led, no matter the ethnicity of the man or the chick, when there are other options.
@sonnyqsoul, that's _any_ man of the caliber these four women want. No man who has made it to the top of a law firm or a major corporation is going home to a woman he has to cater to or "handle." That's not in the character of a man who has beaten down all his competition and made it to the top.
@@nnekaonyiloforyou can find love at all ages. Some people meet their soul mates at 70. I rushed, settled and got married in my 20's was divorced in my 30's . Now I'm raising my kids alone and I had a so-called high value man making good money. Now I'm pushing 50 and finally found my soul mate and fiance who is everything I ever wanted in a man. Don't believe these stupid talking points, because they just aren't true. And best believe you will always be a young girl to someone.
@aliciajones1035 Women who want to be healthily married or in a healthy long-term relationship NEED to operate with INTENTIONALITY, not from a place of negativity ("rush", "Afraid of divorce", "Afraid of settling"). Your response comes from the mindset of a woman who is not in a healthy marriage or working towards that. Correct me!
@@MarriageMindfulness I know from experience that settling for a relationship or rushing into a marriage just to say you have those things are unhealthy. Most women do date purely with intentionality but that doesn't mean anything if you're settling for a person that is not completely what you want or need. There's nothing negative about what I'm saying because it comes from my lived and seen experiences from personal, friends and family. Don't settle because you will end up miserable and a shell of who you used to be. After my divorce, I kept my standards high, turned away a few men and now I'm engaged to the person that compliments me in every way, dotes on me every chance he gets, cares about my feelings and helps me grow as a person and in love. I do the exact same thing for him because there's nothing he won't do for me and mine. I'm over 45 so it's never too late to find your person. And most of the people I know, myself included, that married young are now divorced with children that exes refuse to take care of. Some of the people I know are choosing to stay single because of the relationship traumas and some are finally happily remarried and some are still dating figuring it out but living their best lives. I keep telling people women do not have a wall because she's always going to be young to somebody. Being married again is going to have it's challenges because I'm going to miss sleeping alone and I would have to get used to the constant companionship but so far he's worth it. However, we did negotiate a spare room to take turns with just in case we needed personal space because I actually wanted my own room 😂
As you get older, uncomfortable truths reveal themselves and here's a particularly hard one - If a woman is still single past forty, then her so called "bare minimum" is too high in relation to her own specific value. If she is a very average nothing special woman, and her "bare minimum" is a six foot plus six figure earning handsome lawyer who will treat her like a princess, then she is going to remain single for the rest of her life. Far too many people nowadays claim to know their worth. But they really don't. Because if they did, they would have "settled" heavily a long time ago.
Yeah I settled and got married in my 20's divorced in my 30's. From 30-to darn near 50 I refused to settle ever again. Now, I have the man that I asked God for so stop lying. Women don't settle; want what you want and you will eventually get it 😊
@@aliciajones1035 The man I used in my example - six foot, six figure earning, handsome, willing to give princess treatment - is very rare. Certainly under 5% of ALL men in the US. There is not enough of this kind of man for ALL of the women who want him. So there is great competition for him. The idea that women won't have to settle and they will eventually get what they want is ridiculous nonsense. The numbers are against them and simple math will see to it that the overwhelming majority don't get what they want if their "bare minimum" is the man I described.
@@moleahy6880 not every woman wants a 6 ft man. Maybe some women are ok with 5'11" and 80k a year because they have a side hustle. A man that loves you will always give you the princess treatment and if he doesn't he's not into you anyway. Not every woman wants the same attributes and you absolutely do not need to settle. There are a lot of 6ft men around the world who make excellent money and 6 figures isn't a lot of money these days. Try Senegal their men are handsome sky scrapers. Those requirements are basic and regurgitated. Dare to be different and comprise a list that is important to you and not just some repeated talking point. Have a blessed day.
@@aliciajones1035 You are missing my point entirely. My point is simply this - if you are a man or a woman and your "bare minimum", however you want to define that, is very rare and substantially better than you are (I mentioned the average and nothing special) you are going to stay single. The specifics of your "bare minimum" don't matter. What does matter is the rarity of your minimum in relation to your own value. When I was young twenty years ago, I knew many women with outrageous demands, most of them money related, in order to marry. The only ones who did marry were the ones who "settled". Oh and by the way, six figures is still a lot of money, even these days. Only 15% of men in the US, make over $100k.
@@moleahy6880 most cultures require money to marry. The only people that make a big deal out of a woman requiring money is the black community. Every other race understands this assignment but black women are gold diggers when we ask for the same things as every other race. OMG the audacity.
That whole panel with Eboni K Williams was cringy to watch. If a person empathized with her before, they can now see how she's 90% of her problem. What's worse is that she has no idea how to make the man she wants happy.
@@ruminantmelanoid5444 I saw what 'seetling,' passivity and docility did for my mother's generation. Men, got what they needed +child bearers, housekeepers and cooks) and what they wanted, (control, freedom, other women). Now, this generation opted for financial independence over fools. I applaud that
@@juliatripp2010 I do not know anything about your family dynamic, or the people you grew up around. Demographically, however, FBA/ADOS women have *_NEVER_* been passive or docile in relation to black men. Black men, as a group, have also NEVER had control over black women in ANY generation, from chattel slavery to the present day.
There is a lot of space between "have it all" and "the bare minimum." The men who reach the top did not go for the top because they wanted a lesser woman. They reached the top because they have a personality that drives them that far. If all they wanted was to marry a restaurant server, they needed go no farther than being the manager of the restaurant. But that kind of personality, the personality that drives a man to become a CEO is a workaholic sociopath. It takes someone on that spectrum to have the singular drive to become the CEO or senior executive of a major corporation or law firm. In other words, _that_ man is not going to cater to a woman. A woman will have to cater to him and form herself around his goals and lifestyle. A corporate CEO is not going to be about _you._ That's the character of that kind of man.
I find that black women who hold those high paying jobs or have multiple degrees tend to have this “I’m better than you mindset” this is anecdotal but even in friendships with women the degrees get thrown in the pot. Imagine what the men go through in conversation with women like that.
People compete against their opponents. Black women did a good job at making men realize they are not on the same team as them and made it clear we are their opponents. So I don't get why they dont understand why we've checked out , we granted them their wish.
The men of high calibre CHOOSE who they want. The women of high calibre do not go out and choose their mate. They wait around hoping to be chosen. That one aspect is a big difference. Men go out and GET relationships. Women stay behind hoping to be treated like women despite being manly
True, They can want what they want all they want. They need to curtail their wants and desires by the caliber of men that approach them or change their bait to attract better men. One of the things they can teach their daughters is when she is young young she has most options.
@@retrojay86im 47 year old black man, the idea of going to college and focus on school work was to stop sistas from being 304s. but many still ended up single mothers while others aged out of marriage market. I always say the there is a ryhme and reason for women with age gap relationships. When your young young marry a man atleast 21 years older than you. an stay married to him for next 40 years. When he passes, Your free to enjoy your 304 phase as an older woman who can't get pregnant leaving a wake of fatherless single mother homes. But women have done the inverse. Because they are upset with the natural order. They want to be 304s in their youth ruining their chances of being able to be trusted and truly loved by husband. An then expecting a man to tolerate them as they are and take them as damaged goods. Its pure selfisheness and misguided judgement. If they could simply live a wholesome life as a wife, once she about 45 to 55 she can flounder around with all the young boys and younger men she wants. Because the natural order is men over 35 to 55 want young young wives. Young men 25 and under want older women for the experience 25 to 29 is usually the age men sow their oats FASS girls But it would beneficial for men 25 and under to encounter old women incapable of pregnancy due menopause or tubal litgation.
@@ABC-ho5jo Lets say the average 18 year old, average weight and average looks. She is 18 years old with no children, an no money. She has way more options than Halle Berry Lisa Raye Vivica Fox Does have in men. Any girl in highschool has way more options in men than any woman you can name over 40. Her youth, Her age, An her fertility and Her time is more expanisive. By time alone she has more time to find a good man and if she so desires she can still her mamas or aunties man. Even an obese girl who is young young has more options, an because she is young she can always slim down and join the track team an get athlethic and fit and become a D1 athlethe in college. Remember back in the 70s and 60s men were marrying girls straight out highschool . An marriage back in then 75% in the black community. No single mother homes makes 70% of black community. Male nature doesnt change. Today most women opt for marriage after college or after their career takes off, ironically most women get married around ages 27 to 29. But less than 25% of sistas are getting married due to that age they wait to get married. Men dont want old wives. Back in the day guys with low self esteem still married bella sue, who was young and youtful gurl girl, but had the face of barracuda wombat. Back in the day all the pretty girls got married fast. Before they was even old enough to go to college, unless they was late bloomers. So when you say every woman has most options when she is young, let me preface. A young girl who looks like Leslie Jones in face with a body like Coi Leray. Will have more options than any pretty woman over the age 40. Respectively. She has men all the way to 50 and 60 who want her, men in their 30s and 40s who see her youth and body as irrestiable but when they see a lets say Amber Rose. She would be good for lay in the hay. but after a few times we gonna get bored.
This is somewhat a flaw/dilemma in the way we as black people think about relationships: we think when things don't work out in past relationships, it's because of something we didn't see in the beginning or that it's because we "settled." This discounts the people who have actually "BUILT" their relationships overtime. It's like Ebony K Williams said, "We want what we want!" Well, alright, go get it...
There is a reason God puts all the desir lust physical attraction etc inside us as youths! It’s bliss! The older we get those flames die out! A man’s need for sex at 50 is not as strong as it was in his 20s! While career women think it’s wise to hold out to Persue her career are gambling against her biological clock! So all those standards she has adopted in her 30’s works against her in the long run! Women seem to think they can control the reality of life! Love is the prize! And it also requires work!
This is incorrect in the blk community. There are plenty of men in their 40's and 50's who are still obsessed with s*x, as we can see from the Passport Bros.
The man they wanted they left for when they climbed the success ladder . That's the price you pay . Do you want to be happy or successful? Being married has nothing to do with happiness. U should be happy or strive to matter your station.
Husbands are for young girls. The Cc Carousel, 304 phase is for old spinsters who are divorced or widowed and no longer can produce children due to menopause or tubal litgation. They doing stuff backwards, They want to be spinsters and sleep around while their young, beautiful and fertile, agile and flexible and moldable and teachable. instead of lving life and being experienced and raising a family already and gained knowledge of men through their husband so when he passes being two decades older she can just have fun with younger guys an sleep with them with no consequences of child creation.
@@nnekaonyilofor I remember hearing your first post about how there was no brothas there, an the few that were there didnt date black women, men play the numbers game. Its hard wired in us, WE go for where we have the most options. In colleges that PWIC you will see this dynamic play out. A man's mindset is to take the path of least resistance when it comes to relationships and women. The harder it is the less we want it.
@@nnekaonyilofor yes and no, alot of men have options, but not the options they want. I remember i told you before, in highschool i attracted mostly white girls asian girls mexica girls puerto rican girls racially unambigous black girls (not all biracial but they were are light bright) i didnt start pulling dark skin and brown skin sistas until i became a thug. A friend of mines who refuse to adapt and level down is married to a white woman with kids to this day, around college he just accepted it wasnt in the cards for him to be with black girls. BE both grew up in rich enviornment of black women, our highschool was 60% black. But yet and still other races chases us the most. i teach men in the STL how to level down if sistas is their preference. Its sad it has to be that way. But it is what it is. But those guys in minnesota go for becky out of necessity they probably tried and failed with a myriad of sistas in their junior high and highschool day. Consistent rejection hurts bad, Really Bad. its worst than a woman cheating. This is what changes our mentality towards women and create villian origin stories. Dont get me wrong i still date white girls i got one white girl in my rotation, i had three at one time. One on the south side, two in saint charles. But most girls i sleep with regularly are black girls. The becky i kept is a squirter with a big ole donka donk. The other two just have average bodies. I would say in last 3 years i have slept with 7 different white girls. But my prefence is black girls so i lean more to them because i can. But i said all that to say. Dudes learn real quick an adapt. Since the black gurls they really wanted dont want them they focus on white girls exclusively because they can get the ones they want the most.
@@genovasquez8361- that's because a bm sees himself as a man first, and he doesn't care about anything else. Bw are still hung up on the Black Love fantasy.
These women want the top 1% of men. Outside of dating a rapper or a ball player, their chances are slim to none. It’s equivalent to trying to find a needle in a haystack. 🤷🏽♂️
My wife is 30 and all her friends are in the same age range. We started dating while I was trying to get my shit together and all her friends except one spoke against her dating me in 2018 when we met. She’s in her 3rd year in medical school and I just rounded up my masters while working in tech for 3 years. These ladies are all single and asking me to link them to my friends, hell NO!!
What Ebony said is a lie. I definitely married my peer. I'm an attorney and she has a Doctorate. Please. The girls I went to law school with all had somebody when they got there and when they left.
Women who want to bring children into this world instead of helping the ones who are already here are very selfish and evil. This world is a MESS...why would any woman in her right mind want to bring children into this NIGHTMARE? I sure we all know single mothers who can really use a break. Why not help out family members remembering it takes a VILLAGE to raise great children.
Cats are better than being miserable with a man child dependent. I got divorced in my 30's and didn't rush to settle again and now I'm with the man that meets my standards.
In my opinion when a woman wants something she really wants she shows an excitement for it,a desperation for it etc anything showing they really really want this one thing they can't obviously get for themselves. To me,I don't see certain women in general and then again women like sanna Latham and ebony Williams who really really really want marriage, family,kids and things they can't give themselves.they come across like they had it already or are over it.i believe those women are 40+ and that there is an obvious advantage to starting or having a family when young.meaning not starting or revisiting these most important parts of life 40+,alone,jaded,not excited,dry,etc signs that show it isn't a fever about it and would now be just a thing.we all know many men have tried and many men are on the sidelines wishing those type women would choose them or be in luv with those men and shoot the club up and get them pregnant or probably whatever way they wanted relationship lol.they are still beautiful so what could be the problem 🤔.could be internal as in mentality spirit and attitude towards men and how they fit in their life instead of how does she fit into mans. No matter if women owned whole planets and solar systems let alone earth or anything man made on it,so long as there is many,woman will always have to come in partnership or underneath man or suffer the consequences.women with a certain power in their own mind or adversity to the already in place power structure man has set in mans world,will always have issues with men instead of playing her already set in place power structure man set up,for woman to play her part in relationship to man.not mans relationship to her.women will never get around this if she wants to be in partnership and relationship to heterosexual alpha men they all want anyway.they just get older crazier sounding and goofier. ✌️
She looks good as ever considering her, and the Predator killed the Alien Zenomorphs and the Alien Queen, and then the Predator clan left her in Antarctica alone. She is every bit as beautiful.
The irony of Eboni K saying “men went to school to run the shop” is that they want that a man to be able to run the shop (the home) but don’t actually want to let him do it unless they can check and approve every decision before hand. The men she describes won’t stand for that.
I don´t feel bad and no one else should also. Modern women move in a different way. They tout the independence, the education, the boss chick, the most educated, black girl magic, we run this, we don´t need no man attitude for so long and any one of these females who are now in their 40´s and 50´s talking about freezing their eggs and how they want a good man and family. I am a very understanding person but I am not trying to hear any of that from none of them. They can keep this now I want pity and understanding narrative they now spout. Social media has them thinking as long as you stay somewhat attractive no matter your age they is cancels out all the bad decisions. Most nice looking young women have a chance to be older nice looking women if they take care of themselves and yes Sanaa Latham is one of them but at the same time 50 is still 50 and 60 is still 60 but if you look good its not suppose to matter right. The main thing in my opinion with all the accomplishments modern women are really afraid of relationships of any kind. Once you have been single for that long you almost cant be with somebody because you cannot share the same space anymore because you were so used to being alone. Its like having your own 1 bedroom apt and now someone lives with you, no longer can you act or do things you did because there is another person to be aware of that is there all the time. This might be a simple explanation but hopefully it makes sense. So I will never feel sorry for them not one bit and this is not from a point of hate or anything else but it was your choice and you really shouldn't' ask for something that you really never wanted also. They basically just want pity plain and simple. Sanaa will most likely still look good at 60 and 70 but who cares! Finally men are realizing that this packaging is not all its cracked up to be anymore so these modern women almost feel they can demand a guy to want them or because they have looks the line should be out the door of suitors. Men are very simple and will always take the path of least resistance like electricity but this does not mean we want low quality woman not all but we dont want difficult women either and yes they will spin the narrative like oh we cant handle strong women and this and that.
Success and love in the way these women think it “goes” is the problem. Attraction is asymmetrical for starters. Hypergamy will always plague women, men don’t look at the same things the same way.
The definition of a masculine male is domination, the king of his castle, and in charge of his castle. He seeks a partner farthest opposite his characteristics, since opposites attract. What is the definition of a feminine female?
Whatever happened to women getting men who worked and had drive over them now wanting men that are already established. A man having the drive to get to another level is the man that will be successful, but no woman wants to deal with the grind they all want accolades what comes after the hard work. There’s a big difference between a man who’s working putting himself into positions to getting to the next level than being a bum with no hustle at all is all that i am saying. Whether it be 9-5 temporarily then branch off for something bigger. Rich men of color will never desire you that’s why they mostly get women already established or has already been with the women who was already there from day one.
When these famous and “successful” women die of old age without a husband or children or grandchildren by their side, younger girls are not gonna look at them as heroes and say “Wow. She refused to settle and she MEANT it. She even died alone because she was that dedicated to not settling. Just WOW.” No. They are not gonna say that. They are gonna say. “Oh my god that is So SAD and I do NOT want that to be ME. Let me lower my own expectations within reason like a normal human being so THEIR fate will not be MINE” Lol that’s what they’re gonna say about these women. ✌🏾
Notice all these women talking about what they looking for, i cant imagine none of these women can find a man who fit the calibre. I guarantee this is strictly about the financial status of the man. Feministic movement has deluted so many women. Im sure somewhere in America their is a man who has all of the qualities but perhaps not making the money they have so that disqualifies him. Notice none of these women spoke on their qualities outside of their financial success.
EVERYONE needs to have a real conversation with GOD. and theyll figure out their biggest pains.. ive done this painful process that's how i know its the answer. That's y i don't believe in dating advice, i believe in getting your house in order. Your SOUL IN ORDER. i still see pple pointing outside themselves BUT there are folks online who GET WHAT IM SAYING. That's what me n my bff podcast was about and pple appreciated our non divisive approach
Eboni is very, very beautiful (the most attractive on that panel easily, in my opinion), but men dont want Eboni because she is difficult to deal with, argumentative, and abrasive. Men dont want Melyssa because she has slept with so many men in the music industry as a video vixen and is only into rappers and hood dudes. The girl with the yellow hair has also been on the record in the past of saying she likes hood dudes plus said she just recently got out of a relationship, so she doesn't even qualify. The only one i can't speak on is the one to the left.
I feel black women were done a disservice when we were taught that we were fast for liking boys and only needed to focus on success...it is proven that girls that played outside, weren't sheltered and were given the ability to actually taught how to be courted are married and understand the game....trying to keep us "pure" because being around boys was being fast and shaming us for being human beings made us less than human beings in the eyes of most men and that is sadly the reality. I remember growing up my parents refused to teach me about love, boundaries, dating so I had to learn myself and I was harshly criticized every step of the way I went from sheltered to trying to understand the world around me and it was honestly traumatizing but the world has no empathy for that
The being FAST for liking boys was a smart thing infact. As a black man who is 47 years old. Many sistas in my generation only went for the guys who were fass, When i was a good man, nice guy, faithful guy i got friendzone by most average girls. i still chased the average and below average chicks because for one it was more of them, two they were a challenge, three i didnt know my worth or my actual level of attraction i assumed i was average because of what other men told me. I met an older girl from the hood, who taught me the game and how sistas are. See my family albeit black were in the suburbs and didnt understand the prevaliling change in sistas of generation X my mama was born in 1930s and my father in late 1920s. So they had a very different outlook. But i learn from this girl who was 19 when i was 16 how to be a playa. ie casanova or womanizer. Once i changed how i talked, act and thought and treated women for the worst i started getting success. i aim to cheat, i aim to lie, i am controlling and manipulative. All the things i thought were bad traits were worked for me. Doing things the right way never worked. i said all that to say is since gen x, girls had more inclinations to chasing us dogs and playas. They wanted the quasi bad boy, The one who was the epitome of philanderer. They wanted the guy who other girls were chasing and sleeping with. What i learn is being faithful and giving my all to one woman made look like i dont get no pxxxxsy. i even turned down other girls attempts to get at me because i was laser focus on wooing and courting one girl. with in six months i learn all that nonsense was of no use. i dont do dates if she dont sleep with me on the first time we link im ghosting her i am not giving my all im not being faithful im not being honest, what i do is none of your business i dont put a woman first, im selfish no woman is the center of my world i dont spend money on women Motiffs to live by what one chick wont do for me 7 others will. The best one is next one, alls i got is dxxxxx and bubble gum there are many others i heard as a youngster from other older playas. But this is my world view since then, all women are the quasi FASS girl it just takes the right man to bring it out of her. The reason the push for school is combat the 90s issues, the rampant baby mama culture, living in the projects, hud housing or the ghetto. Basically all these sistas generation after generation growing up in poverty only to pass the same generational curse on to their daughters who will follow in their foot steps. Getting pregnant by the bum, thug, or playboy. Left to rasie a baby on her own, with no education many dropping out of highschool. So the reason for getting in the books was to combat the generational mistakes that sistas kept making. But it goes deeper. Other races of women can 1. Go to college and meet thier husband 2. Marry their highschool sweetheart. sistas use to get married right out junior high or highschool back in my grand ma day. I know women over 70 and late 60s who married men who were 20+ years their senior and stayed married almost 5 decades. Back in them days women married while they were still teens or under the age of 21 to men 35 to 49 years old. An their marriages lasted. Two reason why women outlived the men 1. The women were typically 15 to 20 years younger 2. The men worked 60 and 70hrs work weeks which is bad for your health But the issue is too many sistas have the inclination to sleep around with multpole men, ie the 304 phase. Two prevailing issues 1. Girls stay single an have lots of hook ups and one night stands 2. She has a boyfriend in highschool and colllege but sleeps with tons of dudes behind his back This is the reason sistas are told to focus on the books and ignore boys. Because something happen to the mass majority of sistas, they can no longer pair bond, they can no longer just love one guy, an be loyal and faithful. Its a prevailing need to do what men do. An chasing that idea of i dont have obey, submit or even be faithful to you. i always say if a woman cant submit, dont commit. She gonna cheat on you because if she cant obey how can she be faithful...especially if her being faithful is something you demand? But in short, Sistas have an inclination to FXXXX lots of different dudes, get pregnant and drop out of highschool and live a life of poverty. So focus on college, By the time you get your 4 to 6 year degree, an you have made a few elevations in your career moving up the ladder its ten years later. Your hoovering around 27 and 29 which now is the age most women get married. But the problem is marriage is down significantly. Most black women get married around ages 27 and 29. But 75% of sistas never marry. The reason being is because men arent attracted to women that age for real. Unless he over 65 years or in retirement most men perfer a younger wife 21 years old or younger. Some men will settle for marriage with an older woman because of various reasons, desperation, lack of younger viable options, ultimatums, to avoid child support, fear or scaricty mindset. He just feels she is the best he can do so he might as well marry her. But alot of other men aren't swayed by the following. So they hold out on marriage, If they can't attract the women they want for marriage they might as well stay single and play the field like Leonardo Dicapro, Shemar Moore, and Common.
@@genovasquez8361Wow,that was a lot,but I read it all…I agree with everything,we view the dating game similarly…Lastly Ebonni K married a white guy when she was a hot commodity,now she’s constantly talking about black love…Brothers let’s do like white guys:If she’s overweight,over 30 or has a bad attitude, then she has no value(like all the women in the video).
Honestly I believe regardless of being sheltered or not, women are taught through everything from dolls, toys, Disney cartoons and more about boys and love. Although it’s a delusional romantic view it still teaches the idea and this is why most of our women are still delusional. All women know the difference between a good man and a bad man but the curiosity and hive mind that women have makes her choose the bad man. Women wear emotional damage as a badge of honor. The horrible thing about this is most of our women are not marriageable And made themselves into being pleasure toys for men who don’t even want them for anything more. Those are the women screaming for marriage and covering note at an older age but we have to be honest and let them know it’s not gone happen. 😢
@@popa213 Bruh i learn years ago, Long winded will stop most women from reading, or if they read partially an say some fxxx ish, i can say you didnt read what i wrote in its entirety i mentioned that in, and lastly for the sistas who read it in its entirety they have no room to contradict what i said, no argument can be formed. i had a few post on facebook go viral with this method.
And men didn't prepare their sons to be husbands , leaders, protectors or providers. Who in their right mind is going to be submissive to someone if they got to work, pay half the bills, do all the chores, do all the cooking,do all the child care, and have 1 sided sex with minimal pleasure. Ladies keep doing you. Don't fall for the societal pressure. The right man will come along if God sees fit. If not continue being successful and happy without the drama.
At 45 she's at very least 15 years way too late. Not one man on earth thinks of a 45 yr old woman as someone you'd want to start anything with, besides an understanding. It's just sex and an understanding and or arrangement, not a family.
That's a lie. I know plenty of women that find love in their late 40's and beyond. Stop with these shameful scare tactics. Women don't lower your standards because you will be divorced and miserable.
@aliciajones1035 is not a lie, as yes ppl find things every day, it's not absolute, I'm speaking of the majority, and I base that on facts along with personal experience of myself and other men. Fear is the last thing on my mind, only the truth. There are far more black women with understandings than there are married and that's based on facts also.
I'm not settling but I 'm Not anywhere near the level of these intelligent beautiful women. I'm just an average Jane who is over 40 but I still ain't settling but for me the settling has nothing to do with being over 6 feet or 6-pack abs or looking like Idris or Boris K... My not settling is I'm not going to just grab the first man with a pulse JUST to not be alone...If I can't find love I will stay alone..I know too many people who are just with someone not to be alone
Why do women get to have everything they want in a partner but men are by default just expected to get what we can get? I get the prioritizing of your career but I thought we should be prioritizing our lives.
From experience watching my aunt who is a highly successful Black woman. My aunt has her masters in engineering and makes over 6 figures a year. But my aunt always had problems dating because of her attitude towards other people. Like most successful Black women she had a superiority complex. That ran men on her level away. My aunt would rub members of our family the wrong way. She would make comments how she's the most educated and throw around how much money she makes. But at the same time all of her brothers and sisters were married but she was not.
I feel as tho a lot of,older women of color end up single because we spend our youth waiting on the majority of men to finally get themselves together and when they finally do reach their peak of “success” they no longer want the women they had access too when they were “ at the bottom”. They then decide to get younger women that are usually of another race because black is a reminder of them feeling less than or at the bottom
This is an interesting theory. Never heard it explained like this. What do you all think?
Bingo.
A little misconception here. Even if you got yourself together at 30, if you're not 6'6, 6'7, and making $200,000, they still don't want you.
@@nnekaonyilofor Well I'm not a fella, but here's more of my 2 cents: there's something really sick at work. We did wait on them to grow up. Instead they grew ... warped, crooked and psychologically corrupted... I saw the men of my father's generation, then men of my generation. I saw the disintegration and I began to shrink back; dated outside my culture. I found foreign born black men less damaged, hateful and angry, less self hating. Sure, some were womanizers, but they didn't carry the animosity. They became my preference. Still are.
I just watched a video about child marriages in Zambia and why men married 14 yr old girls: to cook, clean, take care of kids, take care of him ...sound familiar? While denying them education and development but claiming it is helping lift poverty. Now female activists are trying to stop child brides so girls can get what??? An education 😏.
Surprisingly, there are men there who are supporting that, even men in power are backing it.... I thot to myself, not on your life would I give up knowledge, personal development and agency for marriage
Hi
The 1990s called and would like their talking points back.
My gawd. Grow up.
You nailed it! It isn’t a crisis, it’s a mindset. There isn’t a shortage of good men, there is an abundance of unrealistic expectations. Thank you for exposing this.
🎯💯💎 Indeed!
Unrealistic expectations that these women sincerely feel are reasonable standards. The Prince Charming they all seek is still stuck the fairytale and sadly someone they have never met or passed on because he wasn't quite 6feet tall.
And good men aren’t enough because when they land a good man, in the back of their minds they always think “I can do even better.” This attitude drives them to sabotage the relationship.
@@ayubandiaye i agree.For some reason the thinking of " i can do better." isnt thought out or rationalized. Some think the good guy they pass/passed on is going to be in the better guy but forget that all men are not the same and the one you could have had isnt going to be in the next guy and hes not going to do/have everything they think they are entitled to( ex. be the good guy, have money, respect, honor them, give them all they desire, have the looks etc.) They dont realize all these fairytale standards are not REALITY.
Exactly.
Old Caribbean proverb: 'Want all, get none.'
This is true for both men and women. A law of the universe.
I like this never heard it b4🎉
Wow. I've never heard of that before. Im using that from now on.
💯
Going back to something KS stated, the "HVM" men that they want see/listen to how disrespectfully they speak about average men. Many of those men were raised by average men and take issue with said disrespect.
A lot of what that man says will continue to be overlooked by the people that need to listen to the message the most
YUP!
They don't need to accept the bare minimum. They should be with a guy they are attracted to. But so many of them have standards that are beyond their reach. And too many of them don't know nor have the qualities that the type of man they want actually wants, nor do they care. They feel he should just want them because they are them.
❤
We just need to let these Alpha Widows' fate pan out...
😮😂Damn! "Alpha Widows"
It's quite a sight to behold.
Excellent 👍
The woman on the Listen to Black women panel was the same one clowning Michael B Jordan's dream career in high school. If shes single now, she can buy a dog and you know the rest!😊 why should a High value man give her the time of day at age 35? Women need to understand term limits
Some high value men are not interested in making more babies after a certain age. Some high value men prefer to date women in his age range. Not every man is the same. Furthermore, women over 35 usually has her own everything so she has to be selective with who she brings into her world and I wouldn't recommend any woman lowering her standards just to have a man. Lowering standards ruin your life, finances and happiness.
BM aren't turned off by financial or intellectual equals they simply don't generally care to have it. But no man who is a leader wants to be continually challenged by the people he's supposed to lead and protect, and too many chicks who are high intelligence and/or finances don't know how to follow. They want to lead at home the way they do in whatever field they are in, and that doesn't work for the type of guys they want and are attracted to.
That’s a lie, most of the bm are a bunch of pxssies and try to emulate the group of men that kept the down for all these years Dwight man
@@zee608 you won’t get a Man with that attitude. And it’s obvious you’re projecting your frustration of not getting a Man on your terms. Fit, feminine, friendly is your only instruction. It’s over for Angry, bitter strong & independent women.
Since when has Black men "Led & Protect" 😂
@@vanvarner7679 if you have never had or known one that has, that's more of a YOU issue, because there are plenty who do and plenty of videos online of guys who "protect," even at their own detriment, BW they don't even know. Plenty of data showing BM protecting BW and ending up in jail, prison, hospitals, or graves. That said, a leader cannot lead someone who does not wanna be led, and a man is not gonna stick around and deal with a chick that has to be "handled" in order to be led, no matter the ethnicity of the man or the chick, when there are other options.
@sonnyqsoul, that's _any_ man of the caliber these four women want. No man who has made it to the top of a law firm or a major corporation is going home to a woman he has to cater to or "handle." That's not in the character of a man who has beaten down all his competition and made it to the top.
Black women be 60 years old talking about "I don't want to rush". Oh please🙄🙄
😂 Exactly! I remember being 28 and getting a bit antsy. 45 is way too long to still be saying that.
@@nnekaonyiloforyou can find love at all ages. Some people meet their soul mates at 70. I rushed, settled and got married in my 20's was divorced in my 30's . Now I'm raising my kids alone and I had a so-called high value man making good money. Now I'm pushing 50 and finally found my soul mate and fiance who is everything I ever wanted in a man. Don't believe these stupid talking points, because they just aren't true. And best believe you will always be a young girl to someone.
It's better than ending up divorced because you settled
@aliciajones1035 Women who want to be healthily married or in a healthy long-term relationship NEED to operate with INTENTIONALITY, not from a place of negativity ("rush", "Afraid of divorce", "Afraid of settling").
Your response comes from the mindset of a woman who is not in a healthy marriage or working towards that. Correct me!
@@MarriageMindfulness I know from experience that settling for a relationship or rushing into a marriage just to say you have those things are unhealthy. Most women do date purely with intentionality but that doesn't mean anything if you're settling for a person that is not completely what you want or need. There's nothing negative about what I'm saying because it comes from my lived and seen experiences from personal, friends and family. Don't settle because you will end up miserable and a shell of who you used to be. After my divorce, I kept my standards high, turned away a few men and now I'm engaged to the person that compliments me in every way, dotes on me every chance he gets, cares about my feelings and helps me grow as a person and in love. I do the exact same thing for him because there's nothing he won't do for me and mine. I'm over 45 so it's never too late to find your person. And most of the people I know, myself included, that married young are now divorced with children that exes refuse to take care of. Some of the people I know are choosing to stay single because of the relationship traumas and some are finally happily remarried and some are still dating figuring it out but living their best lives. I keep telling people women do not have a wall because she's always going to be young to somebody. Being married again is going to have it's challenges because I'm going to miss sleeping alone and I would have to get used to the constant companionship but so far he's worth it. However, we did negotiate a spare room to take turns with just in case we needed personal space because I actually wanted my own room 😂
As you get older, uncomfortable truths reveal themselves and here's a particularly hard one - If a woman is still single past forty, then her so called "bare minimum" is too high in relation to her own specific value. If she is a very average nothing special woman, and her "bare minimum" is a six foot plus six figure earning handsome lawyer who will treat her like a princess, then she is going to remain single for the rest of her life. Far too many people nowadays claim to know their worth. But they really don't. Because if they did, they would have "settled" heavily a long time ago.
Yeah I settled and got married in my 20's divorced in my 30's. From 30-to darn near 50 I refused to settle ever again. Now, I have the man that I asked God for so stop lying. Women don't settle; want what you want and you will eventually get it 😊
@@aliciajones1035 The man I used in my example - six foot, six figure earning, handsome, willing to give princess treatment - is very rare. Certainly under 5% of ALL men in the US. There is not enough of this kind of man for ALL of the women who want him. So there is great competition for him. The idea that women won't have to settle and they will eventually get what they want is ridiculous nonsense. The numbers are against them and simple math will see to it that the overwhelming majority don't get what they want if their "bare minimum" is the man I described.
@@moleahy6880 not every woman wants a 6 ft man. Maybe some women are ok with 5'11" and 80k a year because they have a side hustle. A man that loves you will always give you the princess treatment and if he doesn't he's not into you anyway. Not every woman wants the same attributes and you absolutely do not need to settle. There are a lot of 6ft men around the world who make excellent money and 6 figures isn't a lot of money these days. Try Senegal their men are handsome sky scrapers. Those requirements are basic and regurgitated. Dare to be different and comprise a list that is important to you and not just some repeated talking point. Have a blessed day.
@@aliciajones1035 You are missing my point entirely. My point is simply this - if you are a man or a woman and your "bare minimum", however you want to define that, is very rare and substantially better than you are (I mentioned the average and nothing special) you are going to stay single. The specifics of your "bare minimum" don't matter. What does matter is the rarity of your minimum in relation to your own value. When I was young twenty years ago, I knew many women with outrageous demands, most of them money related, in order to marry. The only ones who did marry were the ones who "settled". Oh and by the way, six figures is still a lot of money, even these days. Only 15% of men in the US, make over $100k.
@@moleahy6880 most cultures require money to marry. The only people that make a big deal out of a woman requiring money is the black community. Every other race understands this assignment but black women are gold diggers when we ask for the same things as every other race. OMG the audacity.
That whole panel with Eboni K Williams was cringy to watch. If a person empathized with her before, they can now see how she's 90% of her problem. What's worse is that she has no idea how to make the man she wants happy.
Successful black men aren't marrying unambiguous black women ( whether she is broke or Successful). Ladies you better secure your financial future!!!❤
They're not the only men for us to select from. I think this will become less of a problem with the younger generations.
They want what they want, on their terms. Who, as a group, gets that?
Men.
@@juliatripp2010 While that was a rhetorical question, I actually asked in good faith...but go off though.
No men don't. If we are working alot of hours we don't get to spend as much time with our kids as we want to. @@ruminantmelanoid5444
@@ruminantmelanoid5444 I saw what 'seetling,' passivity and docility did for my mother's generation. Men, got what they needed +child bearers, housekeepers and cooks) and what they wanted, (control, freedom, other women). Now, this generation opted for financial independence over fools. I applaud that
@@juliatripp2010 I do not know anything about your family dynamic, or the people you grew up around. Demographically, however, FBA/ADOS women have *_NEVER_* been passive or docile in relation to black men. Black men, as a group, have also NEVER had control over black women in ANY generation, from chattel slavery to the present day.
They're not asking for to much, it's just the man that they're describing has plenty more options
There is a lot of space between "have it all" and "the bare minimum."
The men who reach the top did not go for the top because they wanted a lesser woman. They reached the top because they have a personality that drives them that far. If all they wanted was to marry a restaurant server, they needed go no farther than being the manager of the restaurant.
But that kind of personality, the personality that drives a man to become a CEO is a workaholic sociopath. It takes someone on that spectrum to have the singular drive to become the CEO or senior executive of a major corporation or law firm. In other words, _that_ man is not going to cater to a woman. A woman will have to cater to him and form herself around his goals and lifestyle. A corporate CEO is not going to be about _you._ That's the character of that kind of man.
I find that black women who hold those high paying jobs or have multiple degrees tend to have this “I’m better than you mindset” this is anecdotal but even in friendships with women the degrees get thrown in the pot. Imagine what the men go through in conversation with women like that.
People compete against their opponents. Black women did a good job at making men realize they are not on the same team as them and made it clear we are their opponents. So I don't get why they dont understand why we've checked out , we granted them their wish.
Youre doing wonderful work! We appreciate in so many ways!
Well said Goddess. I happy ur puttin in energy to help Goddesses whom are willing to make a change for the better.
The men of high calibre CHOOSE who they want. The women of high calibre do not go out and choose their mate. They wait around hoping to be chosen. That one aspect is a big difference. Men go out and GET relationships. Women stay behind hoping to be treated like women despite being manly
Yessir, if you want to win in any aspect of life, have to intentionally go out and get it done💪🏾
True, They can want what they want all they want. They need to curtail their wants and desires by the caliber of men that approach them or change their bait to attract better men. One of the things they can teach their daughters is when she is young young she has most options.
@@retrojay86im 47 year old black man, the idea of going to college and focus on school work was to stop sistas from being 304s. but many still ended up single mothers while others aged out of marriage market.
I always say the there is a ryhme and reason for women with age gap relationships. When your young young marry a man atleast 21 years older than you. an stay married to him for next 40 years. When he passes, Your free to enjoy your 304 phase as an older woman who can't get pregnant leaving a wake of fatherless single mother homes. But women have done the inverse. Because they are upset with the natural order. They want to be 304s in their youth ruining their chances of being able to be trusted and truly loved by husband. An then expecting a man to tolerate them as they are and take them as damaged goods. Its pure selfisheness and misguided judgement. If they could simply live a wholesome life as a wife, once she about 45 to 55 she can flounder around with all the young boys and younger men she wants.
Because the natural order is men over 35 to 55 want young young wives.
Young men 25 and under want older women for the experience
25 to 29 is usually the age men sow their oats FASS girls
But it would beneficial for men 25 and under to encounter old women incapable of pregnancy due menopause or tubal litgation.
@@genovasquez8361But does every woman have the most options when she is young? I'd like to challenge that.
@@ABC-ho5jo Lets say the average 18 year old, average weight and average looks. She is 18 years old with no children, an no money.
She has way more options than
Halle Berry
Lisa Raye
Vivica Fox
Does have in men.
Any girl in highschool has way more options in men than any woman you can name over 40.
Her youth, Her age, An her fertility and Her time is more expanisive.
By time alone she has more time to find a good man and if she so desires she can still her mamas or aunties man.
Even an obese girl who is young young has more options, an because she is young she can always slim down and join the track team an get athlethic and fit and become a D1 athlethe in college.
Remember back in the 70s and 60s men were marrying girls straight out highschool . An marriage back in then 75% in the black community. No single mother homes makes 70% of black community.
Male nature doesnt change. Today most women opt for marriage after college or after their career takes off, ironically most women get married around ages 27 to 29.
But less than 25% of sistas are getting married due to that age they wait to get married. Men dont want old wives.
Back in the day guys with low self esteem still married bella sue, who was young and youtful gurl girl, but had the face of barracuda wombat.
Back in the day all the pretty girls got married fast. Before they was even old enough to go to college, unless they was late bloomers.
So when you say every woman has most options when she is young, let me preface. A young girl who looks like Leslie Jones in face with a body like Coi Leray.
Will have more options than any pretty woman over the age 40. Respectively. She has men all the way to 50 and 60 who want her, men in their 30s and 40s who see her youth and body as irrestiable but when they see a lets say Amber Rose. She would be good for lay in the hay. but after a few times we gonna get bored.
Our women don't seem to understand there's a wide margin between the best, and the bare minimum.
What is the “bare minimum” for these women?
The universe and everything in it.
A white man is a good substitute. #BradWorshipper
Six figures. A house. And more money you just invested before you meet them. Remember, you a sheep whose morehair is in demand when divorce comes.
This is somewhat a flaw/dilemma in the way we as black people think about relationships: we think when things don't work out in past relationships, it's because of something we didn't see in the beginning or that it's because we "settled." This discounts the people who have actually "BUILT" their relationships overtime. It's like Ebony K Williams said, "We want what we want!"
Well, alright, go get it...
I think women like ebony are going to miss the boat waiting on a yacht..
I was LITERALLY just thinking about her last night watching a movie.
So long as one decides to look away from their own reality, it is ok. Only that reality is a beast when it hits.
There is a reason God puts all the desir lust physical attraction etc inside us as youths! It’s bliss! The older we get those flames die out! A man’s need for sex at 50 is not as strong as it was in his 20s! While career women think it’s wise to hold out to Persue her career are gambling against her biological clock! So all those standards she has adopted in her 30’s works against her in the long run! Women seem to think they can control the reality of life! Love is the prize! And it also requires work!
Very well said 👏
This is incorrect in the blk community. There are plenty of men in their 40's and 50's who are still obsessed with s*x, as we can see from the Passport Bros.
There is a 47 year old bm in the comments here who is proudly boasting about being a s*x addict and says he will never marry.
These women are looking for unicorns… Guess what unicorns don’t exist
Great content
The man they wanted they left for when they climbed the success ladder . That's the price you pay . Do you want to be happy or successful? Being married has nothing to do with happiness.
U should be happy or strive to matter your station.
Husbands are for young girls.
The Cc Carousel, 304 phase is for old spinsters who are divorced or widowed and no longer can produce children due to menopause or tubal litgation.
They doing stuff backwards, They want to be spinsters and sleep around while their young, beautiful and fertile, agile and flexible and moldable and teachable.
instead of lving life and being experienced and raising a family already and gained knowledge of men through their husband so when he passes being two decades older she can just have fun with younger guys an sleep with them with no consequences of child creation.
It’s 2024 us Black men are marrying Puerto Rican and Dominican women 🇵🇷🇩🇴💍
Stop stalking black women channels.
I like to have me one, I live in St.Louis, MO, we don't have those type of women here.
@@suziepickes702 get off my comment 🤨🙄
@@cnote2times stop stalking black women
Love your content. Keep doing your thing!
Minnesota has some of the best fishing and hunting. 😊
Yes. It’s the land of 10k lakes.
@@nnekaonyilofor I remember hearing your first post about how there was no brothas there, an the few that were there didnt date black women, men play the numbers game. Its hard wired in us, WE go for where we have the most options. In colleges that PWIC you will see this dynamic play out.
A man's mindset is to take the path of least resistance when it comes to relationships and women.
The harder it is the less we want it.
@@genovasquez8361 This makes sense. Those brothas are winning at this game in Minnesota!
@@nnekaonyilofor yes and no, alot of men have options, but not the options they want. I remember i told you before, in highschool i attracted mostly
white girls
asian girls
mexica girls
puerto rican girls
racially unambigous black girls (not all biracial but they were are light bright)
i didnt start pulling dark skin and brown skin sistas until i became a thug.
A friend of mines who refuse to adapt and level down is married to a white woman with kids to this day, around college he just accepted it wasnt in the cards for him to be with black girls. BE both grew up in rich enviornment of black women, our highschool was 60% black. But yet and still other races chases us the most.
i teach men in the STL how to level down if sistas is their preference.
Its sad it has to be that way. But it is what it is.
But those guys in minnesota go for becky out of necessity they probably tried and failed with a myriad of sistas in their junior high and highschool day. Consistent rejection hurts bad, Really Bad. its worst than a woman cheating.
This is what changes our mentality towards women and create villian origin stories.
Dont get me wrong i still date white girls i got one white girl in my rotation, i had three at one time. One on the south side, two in saint charles.
But most girls i sleep with regularly are black girls. The becky i kept is a squirter with a big ole donka donk. The other two just have average bodies. I would say in last 3 years i have slept with 7 different white girls. But my prefence is black girls so i lean more to them because i can.
But i said all that to say. Dudes learn real quick an adapt. Since the black gurls they really wanted dont want them they focus on white girls exclusively because they can get the ones they want the most.
@@genovasquez8361- that's because a bm sees himself as a man first, and he doesn't care about anything else. Bw are still hung up on the Black Love fantasy.
These women want the top 1% of men. Outside of dating a rapper or a ball player, their chances are slim to none. It’s equivalent to trying to find a needle in a haystack. 🤷🏽♂️
My wife is 30 and all her friends are in the same age range. We started dating while I was trying to get my shit together and all her friends except one spoke against her dating me in 2018 when we met. She’s in her 3rd year in medical school and I just rounded up my masters while working in tech for 3 years. These ladies are all single and asking me to link them to my friends, hell NO!!
What Ebony said is a lie. I definitely married my peer. I'm an attorney and she has a Doctorate. Please. The girls I went to law school with all had somebody when they got there and when they left.
Women who want to bring children into this world instead of helping the ones who are already here are very selfish and evil. This world is a MESS...why would any woman in her right mind want to bring children into this NIGHTMARE? I sure we all know single mothers who can really use a break. Why not help out family members remembering it takes a VILLAGE to raise great children.
I wish it was more women like you! All the way Real!
Thank you!
A lot of these women are going to end up with a lot of cats.
😅
Cats are better than being miserable with a man child dependent. I got divorced in my 30's and didn't rush to settle again and now I'm with the man that meets my standards.
In my opinion when a woman wants something she really wants she shows an excitement for it,a desperation for it etc anything showing they really really want this one thing they can't obviously get for themselves.
To me,I don't see certain women in general and then again women like sanna Latham and ebony Williams who really really really want marriage, family,kids and things they can't give themselves.they come across like they had it already or are over it.i believe those women are 40+ and that there is an obvious advantage to starting or having a family when young.meaning not starting or revisiting these most important parts of life 40+,alone,jaded,not excited,dry,etc signs that show it isn't a fever about it and would now be just a thing.we all know many men have tried and many men are on the sidelines wishing those type women would choose them or be in luv with those men and shoot the club up and get them pregnant or probably whatever way they wanted relationship lol.they are still beautiful so what could be the problem 🤔.could be internal as in mentality spirit and attitude towards men and how they fit in their life instead of how does she fit into mans.
No matter if women owned whole planets and solar systems let alone earth or anything man made on it,so long as there is many,woman will always have to come in partnership or underneath man or suffer the consequences.women with a certain power in their own mind or adversity to the already in place power structure man has set in mans world,will always have issues with men instead of playing her already set in place power structure man set up,for woman to play her part in relationship to man.not mans relationship to her.women will never get around this if she wants to be in partnership and relationship to heterosexual alpha men they all want anyway.they just get older crazier sounding and goofier. ✌️
Apparently it is too much to ask....you have no one and the clock is ticking....so a younger woman is preferable at this time....
The women on the panel all have a preference for WM so who were they really waiting for?
She looks good as ever considering her, and the Predator killed the Alien Zenomorphs and the Alien Queen, and then the Predator clan left her in Antarctica alone. She is every bit as beautiful.
The irony of Eboni K saying “men went to school to run the shop” is that they want that a man to be able to run the shop (the home) but don’t actually want to let him do it unless they can check and approve every decision before hand.
The men she describes won’t stand for that.
Facts! 💯
45 ? And dont want to "rush" it ??? Lady, the train has long left the station. Talk about delusion 😐
U WANTED THIS ///OWN IT///LOL
I don´t feel bad and no one else should also. Modern women move in a different way. They tout the independence, the education, the boss chick, the most educated, black girl magic, we run this, we don´t need no man attitude for so long and any one of these females who are now in their 40´s and 50´s talking about freezing their eggs and how they want a good man and family. I am a very understanding person but I am not trying to hear any of that from none of them. They can keep this now I want pity and understanding narrative they now spout. Social media has them thinking as long as you stay somewhat attractive no matter your age they is cancels out all the bad decisions. Most nice looking young women have a chance to be older nice looking women if they take care of themselves and yes Sanaa Latham is one of them but at the same time 50 is still 50 and 60 is still 60 but if you look good its not suppose to matter right. The main thing in my opinion with all the accomplishments modern women are really afraid of relationships of any kind. Once you have been single for that long you almost cant be with somebody because you cannot share the same space anymore because you were so used to being alone. Its like having your own 1 bedroom apt and now someone lives with you, no longer can you act or do things you did because there is another person to be aware of that is there all the time. This might be a simple explanation but hopefully it makes sense. So I will never feel sorry for them not one bit and this is not from a point of hate or anything else but it was your choice and you really shouldn't' ask for something that you really never wanted also. They basically just want pity plain and simple. Sanaa will most likely still look good at 60 and 70 but who cares! Finally men are realizing that this packaging is not all its cracked up to be anymore so these modern women almost feel they can demand a guy to want them or because they have looks the line should be out the door of suitors. Men are very simple and will always take the path of least resistance like electricity but this does not mean we want low quality woman not all but we dont want difficult women either and yes they will spin the narrative like oh we cant handle strong women and this and that.
💯🎯💎
Success and love in the way these women think it “goes” is the problem. Attraction is asymmetrical for starters. Hypergamy will always plague women, men don’t look at the same things the same way.
The definition of a masculine male is domination, the king of his castle, and in charge of his castle. He seeks a partner farthest opposite his characteristics, since opposites attract. What is the definition of a feminine female?
A help mate to the King/the Queen of the castle. 👸🏾
@@nnekaonyilofor EXACTLY! Also a Lion does not mistreat his Lioness!
Whatever happened to women getting men who worked and had drive over them now wanting men that are already established. A man having the drive to get to another level is the man that will be successful, but no woman wants to deal with the grind they all want accolades what comes after the hard work. There’s a big difference between a man who’s working putting himself into positions to getting to the next level than being a bum with no hustle at all is all that i am saying. Whether it be 9-5 temporarily then branch off for something bigger. Rich men of color will never desire you that’s why they mostly get women already established or has already been with the women who was already there from day one.
When these famous and “successful” women die of old age without a husband or children or grandchildren by their side, younger girls are not gonna look at them as heroes and say “Wow. She refused to settle and she MEANT it. She even died alone because she was that dedicated to not settling. Just WOW.” No. They are not gonna say that. They are gonna say. “Oh my god that is So SAD and I do NOT want that to be ME. Let me lower my own expectations within reason like a normal human being so THEIR fate will not be MINE” Lol that’s what they’re gonna say about these women. ✌🏾
Alexa play Chief keef - HAHAHA
Ps ....you women are no longer uncovered but....officially passed over....
these women DID NOT want to be wives and mothers. full stop.
Notice all these women talking about what they looking for, i cant imagine none of these women can find a man who fit the calibre. I guarantee this is strictly about the financial status of the man. Feministic movement has deluted so many women. Im sure somewhere in America their is a man who has all of the qualities but perhaps not making the money they have so that disqualifies him. Notice none of these women spoke on their qualities outside of their financial success.
EVERYONE needs to have a real conversation with GOD. and theyll figure out their biggest pains.. ive done this painful process that's how i know its the answer. That's y i don't believe in dating advice, i believe in getting your house in order. Your SOUL IN ORDER. i still see pple pointing outside themselves BUT there are folks online who GET WHAT IM SAYING. That's what me n my bff podcast was about and pple appreciated our non divisive approach
Eboni is very, very beautiful (the most attractive on that panel easily, in my opinion), but men dont want Eboni because she is difficult to deal with, argumentative, and abrasive. Men dont want Melyssa because she has slept with so many men in the music industry as a video vixen and is only into rappers and hood dudes. The girl with the yellow hair has also been on the record in the past of saying she likes hood dudes plus said she just recently got out of a relationship, so she doesn't even qualify. The only one i can't speak on is the one to the left.
LET. THESE. SO. CALLED. SUCCESSFUL. BLACK. WOMEN. DO. THEM🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣,,,,,,, THEY. WILL. BE. WAITING. A. LONG. TIME....,. REMEMBER. /. THEIR. SMART.
Why is everyone suddenly so worried about whether or not Black women marry and have kids?
Because they want to mock and degrade us.
Marry have kids build your house then protect it by forsaking all others ! In other words keep people out of your family business period! Good or bad!
I feel black women were done a disservice when we were taught that we were fast for liking boys and only needed to focus on success...it is proven that girls that played outside, weren't sheltered and were given the ability to actually taught how to be courted are married and understand the game....trying to keep us "pure" because being around boys was being fast and shaming us for being human beings made us less than human beings in the eyes of most men and that is sadly the reality. I remember growing up my parents refused to teach me about love, boundaries, dating so I had to learn myself and I was harshly criticized every step of the way I went from sheltered to trying to understand the world around me and it was honestly traumatizing but the world has no empathy for that
The being FAST for liking boys was a smart thing infact. As a black man who is 47 years old. Many sistas in my generation only went for the guys who were fass, When i was a good man, nice guy, faithful guy i got friendzone by most average girls. i still chased the average and below average chicks because for one it was more of them, two they were a challenge, three i didnt know my worth or my actual level of attraction i assumed i was average because of what other men told me. I met an older girl from the hood, who taught me the game and how sistas are. See my family albeit black were in the suburbs and didnt understand the prevaliling change in sistas of generation X my mama was born in 1930s and my father in late 1920s. So they had a very different outlook.
But i learn from this girl who was 19 when i was 16 how to be a playa. ie casanova or womanizer. Once i changed how i talked, act and thought and treated women for the worst i started getting success. i aim to cheat, i aim to lie, i am controlling and manipulative.
All the things i thought were bad traits were worked for me. Doing things the right way never worked.
i said all that to say is since gen x, girls had more inclinations to chasing us dogs and playas. They wanted the quasi bad boy, The one who was the epitome of philanderer. They wanted the guy who other girls were chasing and sleeping with. What i learn is being faithful and giving my all to one woman made look like i dont get no pxxxxsy. i even turned down other girls attempts to get at me because i was laser focus on wooing and courting one girl. with in six months i learn all that nonsense was of no use.
i dont do dates
if she dont sleep with me on the first time we link im ghosting her
i am not giving my all
im not being faithful
im not being honest, what i do is none of your business
i dont put a woman first, im selfish
no woman is the center of my world
i dont spend money on women
Motiffs to live by
what one chick wont do for me 7 others will. The best one is next one, alls i got is dxxxxx and bubble gum
there are many others i heard as a youngster from other older playas. But this is my world view since then, all women are the quasi FASS girl it just takes the right man to bring it out of her.
The reason the push for school is combat the 90s issues, the rampant baby mama culture, living in the projects, hud housing or the ghetto.
Basically all these sistas generation after generation growing up in poverty only to pass the same generational curse on to their daughters who will follow in their foot steps. Getting pregnant by the bum, thug, or playboy. Left to rasie a baby on her own, with no education many dropping out of highschool.
So the reason for getting in the books was to combat the generational mistakes that sistas kept making. But it goes deeper.
Other races of women can
1. Go to college and meet thier husband
2. Marry their highschool sweetheart.
sistas use to get married right out junior high or highschool back in my grand ma day. I know women over 70 and late 60s who married men who were 20+ years their senior and stayed married almost 5 decades. Back in them days women married while they were still teens or under the age of 21 to men 35 to 49 years old.
An their marriages lasted.
Two reason why women outlived the men
1. The women were typically 15 to 20 years younger
2. The men worked 60 and 70hrs work weeks which is bad for your health
But the issue is too many sistas have the inclination to sleep around with multpole men, ie the 304 phase.
Two prevailing issues
1. Girls stay single an have lots of hook ups and one night stands
2. She has a boyfriend in highschool and colllege but sleeps with tons of dudes behind his back
This is the reason sistas are told to focus on the books and ignore boys. Because something happen to the mass majority of sistas, they can no longer pair bond, they can no longer just love one guy, an be loyal and faithful. Its a prevailing need to do what men do. An chasing that idea of i dont have obey, submit or even be faithful to you.
i always say if a woman cant submit, dont commit. She gonna cheat on you because if she cant obey how can she be faithful...especially if her being faithful is something you demand?
But in short, Sistas have an inclination to FXXXX lots of different dudes, get pregnant and drop out of highschool and live a life of poverty.
So focus on college, By the time you get your 4 to 6 year degree, an you have made a few elevations in your career moving up the ladder its ten years later. Your hoovering around 27 and 29 which now is the age most women get married. But the problem is marriage is down significantly. Most black women get married around ages 27 and 29. But 75% of sistas never marry. The reason being is because men arent attracted to women that age for real. Unless he over 65 years or in retirement most men perfer a younger wife 21 years old or younger. Some men will settle for marriage with an older woman because of various reasons, desperation, lack of younger viable options, ultimatums, to avoid child support, fear or scaricty mindset. He just feels she is the best he can do so he might as well marry her. But alot of other men aren't swayed by the following. So they hold out on marriage, If they can't attract the women they want for marriage they might as well stay single and play the field like Leonardo Dicapro, Shemar Moore, and Common.
@@genovasquez8361 long winded but very well said.
@@genovasquez8361Wow,that was a lot,but I read it all…I agree with everything,we view the dating game similarly…Lastly Ebonni K married a white guy when she was a hot commodity,now she’s constantly talking about black love…Brothers let’s do like white guys:If she’s overweight,over 30 or has a bad attitude, then she has no value(like all the women in the video).
Honestly I believe regardless of being sheltered or not, women are taught through everything from dolls, toys, Disney cartoons and more about boys and love. Although it’s a delusional romantic view it still teaches the idea and this is why most of our women are still delusional.
All women know the difference between a good man and a bad man but the curiosity and hive mind that women have makes her choose the bad man. Women wear emotional damage as a badge of honor.
The horrible thing about this is most of our women are not marriageable And made themselves into being pleasure toys for men who don’t even want them for anything more. Those are the women screaming for marriage and covering note at an older age but we have to be honest and let them know it’s not gone happen. 😢
@@popa213 Bruh i learn years ago, Long winded will stop most women from reading, or if they read partially an say some fxxx ish, i can say you didnt read what i wrote in its entirety i mentioned that in, and lastly for the sistas who read it in its entirety they have no room to contradict what i said, no argument can be formed. i had a few post on facebook go viral with this method.
It’s because moms didn’t prepare the daughters to be wives
And men didn't prepare their sons to be husbands , leaders, protectors or providers. Who in their right mind is going to be submissive to someone if they got to work, pay half the bills, do all the chores, do all the cooking,do all the child care, and have 1 sided sex with minimal pleasure. Ladies keep doing you. Don't fall for the societal pressure. The right man will come along if God sees fit. If not continue being successful and happy without the drama.
At 45 she's at very least 15 years way too late. Not one man on earth thinks of a 45 yr old woman as someone you'd want to start anything with, besides an understanding. It's just sex and an understanding and or arrangement, not a family.
She is actually 52 now. Still in the same situation I believe.
That's a lie. I know plenty of women that find love in their late 40's and beyond. Stop with these shameful scare tactics. Women don't lower your standards because you will be divorced and miserable.
@aliciajones1035 is not a lie, as yes ppl find things every day, it's not absolute, I'm speaking of the majority, and I base that on facts along with personal experience of myself and other men. Fear is the last thing on my mind, only the truth.
There are far more black women with understandings than there are married and that's based on facts also.
Sort of.
I'm not settling but I 'm Not anywhere near the level of these intelligent beautiful women. I'm just an average Jane who is over 40 but I still ain't settling but for me the settling has nothing to do with being over 6 feet or 6-pack abs or looking like Idris or Boris K... My not settling is I'm not going to just grab the first man with a pulse JUST to not be alone...If I can't find love I will stay alone..I know too many people who are just with someone not to be alone
Why do women get to have everything they want in a partner but men are by default just expected to get what we can get? I get the prioritizing of your career but I thought we should be prioritizing our lives.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👍🏾💪🏾🙏🏾
It’s not a lot to ask, sis is in her mid 40s. If she ain’t found it by then?
From experience watching my aunt who is a highly successful Black woman. My aunt has her masters in engineering and makes over 6 figures a year. But my aunt always had problems dating because of her attitude towards other people. Like most successful Black women she had a superiority complex. That ran men on her level away. My aunt would rub members of our family the wrong way. She would make comments how she's the most educated and throw around how much money she makes. But at the same time all of her brothers and sisters were married but she was not.
Wow. This is classic.
What's wrong with working for what u want tho ? U want soft life work for it whose son must give u soft life ?
Buy a 🐕
They are not black
Can u say repulsive EGO
Tracy Ellen Ross is not black.
(666) 6pack 6figure$ 6ft. TALL 😂 The D'Evil is in D'tails/ oops Eye MEANT the Divas are what smell's
panel full of WALLHITTERS LOL ...RIP TO THE LATE GREAT KEVIN SAMUELS
Alpha Widows...😅
No Man's Land permanent residents
He hit the wall himself though.
I 5’11 I love short men & I don’t care about a lot of money just stability.