Because a lot of the time you’re misogynists. Like a LOT of the time. You built and maintained the world off of pure misogyny for centuries, excuse us for being cautious.
because a lot of women walk around with the us vs them mentality and their goal is to compete with men but at the same time expect men to love and want to be with them
Yes Iyanla was one who supported this bad behavior when sista Ali highlighted it. Itanla is a hypocrite and should STFU as she has lead BW down that path because she sold out and got paid to do so.
You can be pro black and reject the negative parts of the black community. The negative parts of our community are dangerous and harmful. Your views are balanced, it's very similar to Francis cress Welson. You are a mirror and a lot of Black women don't like looking at themselves. Pro black is about loving your community, not just the sisterhood or the brotherhood. But loving the whole family.
I get it all the time from the men in our community. When I call them out it's always I hate our people. I ask them, if your child put his hands in an electrical outlet don't we spank thier hand. That's because we don't want them to hurt themselves. So this is my spanking to our people. But the reality is many of us are selfish and this is the leading factor in our issues
In the cases of most black Americans. What family? Now I’m not trying to make this personal, because i actually agree with the basis of your comment. But when a single mom of 3 that’s living paycheck to paycheck is trying to preach to me, a single dad with full custody of my son, about how the Bm doesn’t want correction; how could I take her serious?
Hey Nneka and thank you for this. I started my channel with women in mind but quickly learned that women didn’t want to hear what I was saying, & I now have a majority male audience. I understood why, but I didn’t accept that. However, I have since come to terms with that and understood that the Sisterhood will come for me due to them not wanting to hear discussions surrounding accountability and I’m fine with that. Women who find value in what we discuss will do so. And they also get put on notice that their slander doesn’t sway me. Also, more of us ladies in this space need to support one another so they know/see that other women support this type of content. You’re doing amazing work here!
now yall are beginning to understand what bm have been saying since day 1. if bw won't listen to other bw, how do bw accept what bm have to say? we are losing as community and the solution is simple but at this point in time, impossible. be feminine. that's it.
@@PumpdaBrakes-ub8kp I don’t think we didn’t understand what men were saying. I think that what we do exposes the lies women tell which is that they want to hear the truth/have hard discussions with women. They exposed that they reject correction/truth and would rather be pandered to. They also exposed that black women are expected to be a monolith & are to be on “Sister code” no matter what, even at the expense of morals, dignity & integrity.
Sister you have done and are doing the emotional and mental work that’s needed. We appreciate you. The low hanging fruit is only appealing to the masses.
The sisterhood hates logical thinking and the truth. The Sisterhood might as well be labeled The Single Motherhood, cause thats who is primarily crying. You hardly ever hear about a childless woman complaining or being mad at men.
@@chosenlyric the key is twofold. 1. Some prospects shrink immediately to the point men don't approach them. 2. The other is the men they want don't approach them. Ie those men are checking for younger prettier girls. These women still get approached by me. They don't want.
Thank you Sister, you are definitely on to something. Both Black men and women are confused in this european toxic system. Many of us have gotten away from our roots, thinking that this new modern paradigm is better, than traditional values. Other groups living in the european world maintain their roots, so their families, marriages, etc are more intact. We must admit that we are being brainwashed and subjected to this toxic european programming of materialism and individualism. Family and marriages should be our primary objectives in our 20's, along with education and career. Why have an empty house and expensive care, with a dog, but not real legacy.
You can't conflate Pro-Blackness and current culture as being one and the same. Those are two distinctly different things. Being Pro-Black is supporting the advancement of your PEOPLE as a whole. Supporting, Business, Family, Economic growth, Wealth building and over all collective advancement. Black culture is something fluid and not as concrete because it has the ability to change along with the women of the society. Women have a significant impact on the culture of a society. Their contributions can shape social norms, values, attitudes, and behaviors. The socialization and upbringing of children (before the state began raising them when women joined the workforce) which shapes their values, beliefs and contributes to the transmission of cultural traditions from one generation to the next. They instill notions of empathy, care and ethical behavior in the family unit (again almost non existent nowadays) forming the foundation of societal values. Once the mindset of women changed, what use to be unacceptable did as well. Hence you have the current (Don't need no man RATCHET culture), where the majority of women (Highly educated Black Women) are being influenced to follow Non educated, low vibrating, TV personalities/Rappers/Artist types some of whom are launching STD name branded lip gloss (in which a number of women support), twerking on tables in restaurants or walking into them nude to protest their dress codes that promote modesty and decency. Supporting those things is not being Pro-Black. Supporting those things is being Pro-culture. Pro-Black is building our community. To support the current culture is to want to completely destroy it.
Great video. The young sister in the beginning stated something in reverse of how the relationship between the collective and the individual works. Most think and view everything through the lens that the multiple individual experiences drive the collective reality. It is the exact opposite. The collective reality drives the individual experience. The individual experience ALWAYS occurs within a group dynamic. Our failure to manage the collective cultural consciousness is how we are collectively manipulated by our oppressor who very intentionally manipulates our collective cultural consciousness. Our individual perspectives are always within this context. Our individual perspectives make us constantly look at the exception such that we ignore the rule. We therefore do not come together and address the root causes of our collective problems. WE as a people, men and women, are being manipulated. This is why the constant confusion. We are ignoring how the mechanisms of power and culture are being leveraged to lure us into self-destructive group norms such as laughing at being smacked on the ass or dancing to music that completely objectifies and degrades our women. Solution MUST involve coming together within each locality to agree on a course of action and values that drive our tastes and desires, which in turn drive our aspirations and strivings. ONE PEOPLE, ONE LOVE
The more you work on yourself the further you distance yourself from toxic people. I’m this case the sisterhood. Nothing wrong with standing up for your people but no one should ever hold up unrighteousness. Thank your work.
as a black man i listen to a lot of black women when it comes to these conversations because i really want to understand the psyche of a modern black woman. there is clearly a disconnect between black men and women and i know listening to one side of the conversation (black mans perspective) will not advance my understanding of the disconnect between us. and what is weird is black men and black women clearly want to be together; but the battle between the two genders is prolonging what we both want (men and women) which is to be together.
The disconnect is that many women are lying and delusional. It’s tough to rationalize the irrational and deceptive. There’s a reason why men are supposed to or it’s best for them to lead because women will open Pandora’s box and then sit back and hope for the best.
I think these are all great reflections. Enjoyed listening, very transparent. I’m a light skinned mixed Afro Caribbean, my mums Afro Caribbean. Iv felt a lot of betrayal and emotional abuse from the sisterhood in the past so it’s been really challenging to find a home with a collective of Afro-centred sisters. Most of my community are of global majority in general but I have like one African sister friend surprisingly. I’m an artist an everything I do is anti status quo so I feel like I’m perceived as a red flag for most African or Caribbean sisters. Amazing hearing you do everything you do an all your doing as a self autonomous powerhouse. I think the environment is incredibly hostile for women in general as a systemic white centred global enterprise of capitalism. Black women being the least supported I’m not surprised those women wanting to take a break for 3 years. I’m at the bottom of the hierarchy as a freelancer artist and I’m burnt out, I don’t even have a family or kids or consider myself a feminist, I’m just trying to exist and I’m exhausted. I don’t think white CIS men experience the same kind of exhaustion or stress even if there’s a similar or same work load. Not only are our bodies different, our nervous systems are different, our genetic history also plays a part and so does neurodiversity. Black women need to factor in not only are we not able to perform or execute at the same capacity as white men because of historical abuse literally designing our nervous systems and our DNA, but that as women we function in cycles of production and rest, not 9-5 everyday work day. But Moon cycles, this is how the hormone body produces and functions. We are exploiting ourselves thinking this is the model of success and independence. Our hearts are broken from lineages of abuse and trauma that being in love and sustaining romantic relationships is extremely triggering and painful for most of us. Most men aren’t conscious enough to match a certain level of spiritual and emotional transparency for black women who are able to love fully. Those are all my thoughts 😂
It's okay to critique the things you love, many of the greatest people in history have. I am a feminist who critiques feminism, I believe feminism is being more open to the application and bringing more attention to female voices and needs and concerns.
They will tag you as a “pick me “ which is best compliment a woman could ever receive… If you consider yourself as a standout product .. brand … or business… you should be a pick me … you should be on at your best on the market… Shout out to all the sisters being accountable
In this dangerous "#MeToo" environment, are there REALLY men who grab or slap women on the behind? Those men better be SUPER fine, all the way around, or they would find themselves in big trouble. Or they better be Pookies!
Thank you for sharing this Nneka. I naturally assumed your journey would have brought you to junctions that questioned your motives and how you choose to use your energies. You speaking to this is unfortunately validating and silence lots of intelligent women that could help, but become too exhausted to fight for it. Perhaps thinking how much it may remove from them personally trying to share & rescue others that thumb their nose at the pick-me truth seeker. Thank you for fighting through judgement & crass and for continuing to be that intelligent feminine warrior that you so eloquently display and for sharing what you know & have learned. I long for the days where a sisterhood means more than a pseudo social cyber network of energy that have protected rogue independent perspectives, lessened traditional standards and created family degeneration to a more meaningful, personal, loving, supportive, social fabric of women that honor traditional values, families and allow women the space to speak truth - even if it stings a lit bit. Peace
It is refreshing to read your comment and know that you understand where I’m coming from. It lets me know that my message is valuable, despite the sisterhood going MIA on me lol. 🙃🙏🏾
Hello..You are truly real and have kept it real. It's refreshing to see a woman(a black woman) present the issues and also suggest a solution. I don't think you are pro men, you just deal with an issue that's most women or people in general doesn't want to deal with. It is great that you do not appeal only to one set of people( even though you lean a bit towards men) I am proud human beings....Sometimes we want to be pro black but when you see hoe some of us treat each other you wonder.....We cannot want something for people more than they do for themselves. For me to be pro black I need to see so many changes that I cannot make, so I Won't paint myself in that corner. Continue to do your thing and I wish you success which I know you will have over time. I'll continue to watch. Bless
@@nnekaonyilofor awesome sista i wrote a little on my thoughts of your appeal to men, you embody 6 out 7 things we as men speak on that we want in sistas. so your appeal is more towards us guys. plus your not hard to listen too. im glad you provide balance and unabias. dont fret those calling you pick mes. those are what we as men call pass by chicks.
@@nnekaonyilofor Things about you men want 1. Your hair is natural on wow 2. Your face is pretty 3. You look youthful 4. Your voice is attractive and sounds nice and sweet 5. You are actually smart, articulate and illustrate it, i would assume you got a PHD or Masters plus 30 or something 6. You got a booty, just playing, frfr your personality seems sweet and kind There is more stuff besides those things. but these are somethings men want... Smart and sweet personality, no weave, no make up and no eye lashes. not all hood and ghetto you dont act and talk like a stud chick it so much but your opposite of what we BM have been saying what we want.
Good transparency video. The sistas in the sistahood will be fine, overloaded with work, unstructured families, unhealthy mindsets/on psych meds and will have many 🐱s. They will be wealthy as well, 🤔?
I happened upon your video and must say, I’m totally impressed upon hearing your perspective on today’s world issues. We as a people are helping destroy our own culture and linage by standing on code with the Brotherhood & Sisterhood mentality, instead of standing up for what’s right. You would think by now the Crab-N-Bucket mentality would have been dead and buried in this year of 2023. But my thoughts are if we don’t start standing up as not on a race of people, but as a family unit (1 man, 1 woman in a relationship) the Black man & the Black woman standing together as a total unit enforcing family values, the future generations of Black people will end up back in slavery in the not so distant future.
Peace sister, I just bought your book, i don't have kids myself but I do co-parent my niece because my sister passed away, my other sister and I will be raising her. I think your book\channel will be a great start for me to understand black women.
I'm interested in doing a youtube channel. I'd like to have you on every now and again or more for discussions. We can discuss that. I see things that you discuss, and there are things I see that are missing pieces of things that you talk about.
Thing is who gives a fuk if they like you or not you go by your own merit it's something I had to learn when I was considered to not be part of the male ken to the sisterhood
True but many cant afford it. Therapy is very expensive, and men need healing as much if not more and many dont want the expense or make the time or would rather buy expensive material things vs getting their minds right
I'd pay to see interviews. Some dope background pic (Mt.Kilimajaro if u take request), they can maintain they're anonymity however they like. I'd sub hard to that. Have them give they're perspectives in faucets of modern America... some issues they deal with or wanna shed light on. Also, let this be mostly middle class and lower blk women.
Nneka, why do we need to use the adjective "BLACK" when speaking/writing? Why isn't our blackness understood, even if un(spoken/written)? Does the fist rose above the head symbolizes aggression, strength and power? Which of these three words (aggression, power, strength) symbolizes female/femininity?
Thank you for your comments Jman. I use the term Black so ppl can know that I am either speaking to Black Americans or Black ppl in the diaspora broadly.
You can't Prioritize a Relationship and be a Feminist. Because in part, Feminism was created to free Women from needing a Relationship to Advance. (At least, in my opinion.) However, Feminism never took Relationships into account or prioritized Relationships as necessary beyond the Support of Feminism. So, Feminist Women "from different backgrounds" band together with a common goal, but having a common goal does automatically equate to Good friendships or relationships. And it definitely doesn't mean the Women agree on relationships. So, you can have a Woman that hates or isn't attracted to Men preaching to a Women that does. However, they should be considered separate, but Feminism does not allow for division or disagreement within the prevailing ideal. Which is primarily that Men are the enemy. Bottom line is most Women can't be a Feminist and have Successful Relationships with Men "Personal or Professional." Meaning, you can't need a Man "which is normal;" then hate what he is and provides as a Man. It's just Self-Sabotage for Women that want a Man, but it's ideal for Women that have no interest in Men at all; well at least publicly. IMO
You'll be aight. It's better to live by a code that adheres to what you believe in your core to be right than to go against that to fit in. At least that's how I see it. The general sisterhood assertion that to be pro woman means you cannot offer critique to a woman under any circumstance is absurd. What we are doing as a community is not sustainable and we will wake up out of whatever this is. Unfortunately when is the real question
@@dbig48d I love her and a major supporter of my beautiful sister! What I'm saying is that there's no hope in trying to change these 304s and their hook up culture. We just need to go where we can find peace and wife materials period.
@@chrismog286You really think the majority of men who watch these channels still think they can change the “ lovely ladies”? I think a growing number want to get on that plane with you.
@chrismog286 I got you my brother I'm just tired of this back and forth between BM & BW online. I'm going to make that distinction because I don't see it in every day life. This passport and divestor movement needs to end. Our people are suffering worldwide at the hand of white sumprecy. No wars should be fought between BP. I take offense to a lot of the passport guys because of the reckless talk of BW. if you're truly fed up with Western Women, particularly BW, then apply for citizenship in another country and go there. I've traveled and done business with foreign countries, particularly Asian companies. And the attitude they have towards our people I can't understand why any BM would promote those women over our own. America is a self centered nation so I can understand people being turned off by that. But not at the expense of our BW. i know some trifling BW but i know so many more thats grounded and know who they are. They don't need to be lumped in with the trifling bunch we have in our race. I don't know why we get upset at WP when they do it when we comfortably do the same to each other. That's just my personal beef with Divestors and Passport Brothers.
If you aren’t talking about truly integrating into a foreign culture then you aren’t serious. And if you’re plan is bringing a woman here then have fun being a mark. Just up and leaving your home country to find a woman is not realistic.
There is so much to unpack here. First, as I've already told you, I will join your membership - it will be my first!. I think your audience having a lot of men is an advantage because theyre listening and perhaps learning but as men, theyre also looking for validation for some of their negative ideas about BW and weaponizing these ideas. Nonetheless, its very important to help shift the attitudes you so clearly outlined abt how BW grew to be so career oriented and how the 'boss' culture came about. I think tho for balance, cover the issues more deeply on why the behaviors of MEN has largely contributed. Its not these women's fault that they adapted despite mustreatment, neglect and abuse they've experienced or witnessed. Men wont like those discussions I bet. Test it out. And if you lose some of your male audience, explore what that means 🤔. As for the Sisterhood, they abandoned me long ago. Id love to see a healing around how we BW whether they achieve 'boss' status or never even enter that arena, are so hostile to each other. I lost 4 BW friends in 2022, including my own sister! I have pondered this and I could blame myself easily - I am analytical, a deep thinker, a consumer of information, a nerd, a lover of discourse, creative, bold, brave, opinionated 😬 and - socially isolated. I also think there could be a platform for women who have no voice; those that are looked down upon and stigmatized by successful BW, many of whom work in fields of care but actualy see themselves as supetior! These women oppress poor women. I steered clear of them!!! I dont identify with feminism per se but may think more like a man perhaps... but I also love men who make me feel feminine. What you might ask / explore is that - how can our BM support our femininity so we feel safe being more of what they need as opposed to using us to satisfy themselves and then engaging in typical male behaviors... From our consulting session a few months ago, you know a bit more abt me and my goals. That session allowed me to feel a connection to who you are beyond your channel. So, making sure to make that affordable is critical and that might drive your channel and broaden your audience, I think. I have questions every day, but I can't afford to hire the help I need. Recently, I met a young man with all the tech and marketing skills and know how but he wanted to have sx or intimate photos in order to help me! Yeah, and men wonder why we become 'boss' cuz I sure will be feeling boss if I figure this all out myself 😂
I'm a black man with 3 sons.... I'm constantly teaching my sons to fight against the Sexy Red...Cardi B.... MT Stallion... influence on these young black girls and women.... The media and music industry continue to push the most destructive behaviors in our community.... If we could amplify respectability and our amazing history of black educated.. business owners and hard working people....I believe our culture would be more respected and imitated in this society with greater beneficial relationships.
Nothing wrong with a sista having a degree, or even going to college or even getting a career. I have always had aunties who had degrees and cousins who have degrees all quite older than you, Put it this way my mama was born in 1930s. Although she was suppose to go college because her mother and father was sending her she choose to drop out and follow the street. I wasnt raise by mama, Hence why i didnt become a career criminal like my two brothers. I was raise by my father. I digress, an im better for it. Graduated highschool didnt drop out like my brothers, an went to college unlike my brothers. i think the issue isnt women getting degrees, or women getting high paying jobs. I have always dated women who were educated or if not educated were high up onon totem pole employment wise. I have actually dated three women who actually had 7 figures. I also have met women who lived with they sista, a roomate, or out right living in section 8 housing who have the boss babe mentality. The mentality is ghetto and hood to me, It has nothing to do with what man has done or is doing. More or less sistas cave to peer pressure in highschool to be mean girls, to be sassy and be bossy. An that mentality carries over into adulthood. Usually if a girl has a cliiqe of females she is gonna have a the boss babe attitude. EVEN if she is broke or jobless. The conceit and arrogance and street mentality is ever apparent. There is nothing a man can do to make a woman be feminine or submissive. You are that way or you not. Most good faithful men get walked over by yall, and treated like trash, while the bad men like get your obedeience. Because you know i will leave you for one of the other girls im seeing. But the key is you chose to stay and you chose to obey. Not because i did anything. Outside of NOT put up with your ish and take what you think i deserve. I will bow out gracefully and go to the next women in my rooster. I treat yall like your replaceable. An those of you who stick around really want to be around. I dont do anything to prove my worth. i dont chase women, i give attention to the women who chase me. I dont jump through hoops, I am not a provider I am not Faithful I am not a nice guy I lead with one thing only I focus on getting you sprung and laying it down in bed room. If we dont make it to bedroom we will have NO interactions and no relationship in any capacity. I dont share my energy and time and attention with every woman who thinks i should give them a shot at friendship or learning something from me, im college educated, gainfully employed, self educated ie i have a library in my house. Im divorced. but childless. An the women i meet and chose to deal with are feminine, soft, submissive and independant and self reliant and strong. The only things i say sistas as a whole have issue with is the following: 1. They Sassy Mouth 2. They Mean girl Attitude 3. The need to wear weave 4. The Stomach or being overweight or fullfigured 5. Being Single Mothers These are reason we dont want marriage with 9 out o 10 of you as black males. Also the reason i have never met a woman 30 years plus worthy of marrying me The blame game is funny because we as brothas can say we sag our pants because fine fine sistas like it We got a 1000 tattoos because beautiful sistas like it We Smoke weed because pretty girls like it We sell dope because Beautiful sistas love it. But i have done none of those things, Never smoked even a cigerette, Have never been drunk or high in my entire life Have no tattoos, No criminal record, college educated not a drop out. infact kept a 3.8 gpa through highschoool and college. I have done none of those hood things i listed. An i still get with sistas. There are women who are feminine, submissive, an have hsubands who dont work or pay bills of all races. I know plenty outside of my racce. I have a friend who does work, his wife makes significantly more than he does and he is the one at home with the kids mostly. She still submit to him and they are Asian. When a sistas says a brotha needs to do something so she can be feminine, that means her femininity is optional and a choice. Being a masculine man is who i am. Its not something i can turn on an off. A woman who is freaky that is who she is A woman who is kinky that is who she is A woman who headstrong and bullheaded that who she is A woman who is sweet, loving, an kind that is who she is A woman who is godly that is who she is A woman who is submissive and obedient to the man she loves thats who she is. She doesnt need a reason to be who she is. There is not amount money a man can earn that can make a headstrong obstinant woman be geniunely submissive. What we have here is transactional feminiity...Make the money and pay all the bills so i dont have too. an then ill be soft and feminie....It dont work that way sweetie. 😊
@@macman9689Her whole premise is men dont make enough money and want them to go 50/50...she is one of those who wants men to step it up, an make six figures so he can give her softlife so she can live in luxury and have our bills paid while she still works and saves all her money for herself while he works hard to make her happy and she gives little or nothing in return. She is saying she wnt be soft or feminine or submissive to a brotha until he levels up his finances. an pays all her bills. Its basically hypergamy(sex worker) talking points. There thing is they have to be educated and strong and work a career because they cant find a man making 150k to marry them so they can live a soft life. But the thing is if a man is gonna level up, be ambitious and get all these status symbols. he probably gonna date outside his race. Becuase that goes along with his rise to affluence and gives him a higher status symbol in those rooms with other high value men. He gonna stop dating Keisha Knight and marry Vanna White.
@genovasquez8361 I didnt say MAKE ME FEMININE - i said make me FEEL feminine when I am around them. I can be whatever I need to be - if that is strong or sweet or anything in between, but the men that are kind, sexy and NOT walking around with a disproportionate p to ginormous attitude, are a turn on. The rest are boring. I leave them to the impressionable, more malkeable young women of today. Im out ✌️
Great question. In my opinion, African American is similar to ADOS. Black is more inclusive to others in the diaspora, who may have been born elsewhere, but live in the U.S. or have adpoted a similar mindset. Since I live in the U.S. I am usually describing Black women in the U.S.
@@nnekaonyilofor What a shame and disgrace so many go to America to walk in the blood of those Ancestors of the Original Builders of America Walking in their blood with out due homage and feverent disrespect to their descendents.
In response to the beginning of the video mentioning that black women choose careers over family. Black people have been victims of MARKETING! Black people are so ready to take responsibility for negative things or hold other black people accountable for societal ills. White people have failing relationships and violence in their communities as well, but we want to own it and explain it all the time. I have met white people that have had things go on in their community that I could never imagine in the black community I grew up in but if you watch the media we all live in dysfunctional homes or violent communities. I am a married black woman of 14 years to a successful black man and mother of 2 children.
Let me tell you something - I build furnitures on demand - one thing I’ve observed about my clients - 9 out of 10 are feminists or young women with no man - what I’ve especially observed from the older ones - THEY ALL ENDED UP ALONE - I know that because no ring on their finger - no man in their house - ages from 30-40-50 years end up alone with a diploma on the wall, cats, working at home, struggling - I’m well accustomed now to the pattern - you will not be able to change their feminist mind unfortunately - focus on the newer generation - unplug from the sisterhood, it’s a lonely but healthy decision
@@Dewane1511 a black women prioritizing her education and future makes her a feminist? A black women seeing that tradition gets you nowhere makes her a feminist? Her talking points is not gonna get her a man. Because that’s what’s she tryna do.
@@a.n.watson8797I think the important point is to be authentic, like she said in the video. If you don't believe in traditional values, that's okay. Find a man who also does not believe in traditional values. But if you are a woman who does, be clear and act accordingly, so that way we don't waste each other's time. No harm, no foul.
I think i lll have to look at some of the community tabs. dont know if i commented on everything. But listening to your video. I know your getting backlash from the sister hood. Two main reasons your attract more men in general of all races. 1. Your more appealing to the male gaze. WE love your look, You have the facial beauty we look for in the world and the type of women we would fall inlove with at first sight. The hair, the face, the skin, your features. An your thick, which is plus: When we are young we love em thick. So you may attract men way younger than 40 too. But over all you go completely against the female gaze. The Female Gaze: heavy foundation make up, Bright cololrs like eye shadow, blush and bright lip stick, and lots of weave and eye lashes. This is the female gaze. I know other content creators who like their second part, but their look is too female gaze and i had few videos where they didnt put on thier battle paint, An they look so fine, im like wow, thats how you look: also i think sisters like to wear make up because it makes them look mature. We as men like a woman to look younger or youthful. Since black women age slower, They wear make up to age their face. I dont know why sistas like looking 60 in the face, but it is what is. WE as men love a nautral sista. For me if she wants to get dolled up, just maybe glossy lip gloss or clear or skin colored lip gloss, and perfum that smells fruity or scented lotions, and may glitter. Thats what i find attractive or alluring on woman, But if your fine you fine, you dont need all the extra, just smell good. 2. The second reason in addition to you going against the female gaze and looking more in tune with the male gaze as a whole. Your voice, your intellect, your thoughts and the way you articulate them from very first video the invisible woman series. Its not bashing or degrading or blaming all men. Its basically giving your personal experience and account of what you experienced and observed. Its not a piece that goes into saying this and that about brothers. It brings up the fact that the area and location is not ideal due to demographics and it also speaks to other things that you experienced by men like the guy in grocery store he jumped and went into another isle to avoid making contact with you. There is alot to impact there. An there are reasons to it, because of this current climate of the gender war between our race. But really your thinking, your tone, your comical inflection in other videos, your articulation, your intellectual introspection and even your ability to decimate information based in logic is something that we as men can relate too, something that appeals to us. To the sistahood mindset, they would see you as someone hossity, too good, conceited, on heirs, or just not hood enough. You lack the ghetto and hood speak that i despise which draws me to you outside of just your good looks. You sound and actually are intelligent. Your not someone who is ghetto trying to sound as if she knows something. You sound educated as well. Although you speak down to earth and don't go full colleigat jargon. You thoughts and deliverly show your deeper thinker and logical. Which is rare in sistas, truly. ONE of my girlfriends would probably love you. Because albeit she is not college educated she is very much a professional an is in management an she for as long as i known her been more intellectual and logical than any sista i ever worked with or seen in general. An that includes the sistas i went to college with. Her ability to absorbed information, learn it with clear lense and understand it from a logical clear and concise view is rare. These are the very things that set you apart. I didnt mention to conten switch, because i do agree with it, an many things you say make me laugh, i dont know you were trying to be funny with bbl series but that was hiliarious. But there are other content creators who either have that slay to nines beat face to gods look or they are ghetto and hood. i dont want to say your more feminne. because i dont believe sistas as a whole are masculine like alot of content creators are saying. I will say your more classy and lady like. Because sistas as a whole are still more feminine, except for maybe young M.A. Wanda Sykes. But most sistas are Steet and ghetto. An thats something im glad your NOT. i grew in STL in suburbs. An the chicks who was the most HOOD were in the county. I went to the literal projects and saw more feminine ie classy or softer looking and acting, an talking women than in higher socio economica areas. My ex wife was literally from the Projects. Her voice Her tone How she dress How she looks How she acts I would never known. I met her when she was 18. An when she first approached me she did so subtlely i didnt realize she choosing me, until others pointed out she was interested in me, I just thought she was being friendly because of the age difference. i digress. Your total demanor and style is anti sista hood. How you speak, think and talk is anti sisterhood. We need to get away from being pro black and pro feminst We NEED to focus on Black Education: Not just actuall useful careers in stem, but education in mindset, we need the brainwashing of hood, street smarts and ghetto knowledge to be taught out of our minds both young and old. We NEED to focus on Black Wealth: The number one cause to crime is poverty or money issues. WE do NEED finaical literacy and business acumen of course. But in addition to that, we need large summations of revenue and profits to sustain us. Many of the issues we suffer is due to lack or struggle. Second only is ghetto mindset or hood conditioning. We NEED black LOVE: Not just romantically, that is definitely a prime imperative. But we need black love for each other. We need to love ourselves and each other more than anything else in this entire world. We need to love each other so strongly and wholistically that our entire paradigm shifts and psyche changes. These are things i feel as a people will benefit us. Discarding all the nonsesical stuff. I use to be problack in junior high and highschool. I stop identifying with problack once i met other problacks in mass, BECAUSE alls they was talking is rethoric. Nothing actionable and nothing to promotes growth or puts in a posistion to thrive. Its basically a bunch of emotional feeling diatribes they profess and thats about it.
The Issue with feminism, Is its not inclusive of black women: Feminism in it self was about power. For women non black women who arent sexually attracted to men. So they can thrive with a husband or have a need to be romantically involved with men. Feminism is a political bill. That has elements with in the bill that draws ideological views of many different women to get them onboard so that bill could be passed. But the additives are not purely based on feminism intial precepts. I think feminism did more harm against women as a whole.
Nah that’s the trend now ! The trend is u have kids ???! For what ???! U lost ! U did it wrong!! U need to have your own !! Never ask for help !! N ur revenge is hanging your own !! It’s heavy lol
Being pro-black doesn’t mean accepting everything blacks do as being correct. In fact, correcting blacks when we are wrong is the most pro-black thing you can do. I made the same argument when people called Colin Kaepernick “anti-American.” The greatest love you can show your country is to call it out when it mistreats its own citizens. From that standpoint, Kaepernick was the ultimate patriot.
I hate to admit this but I will. I’ve seen BW who were housewives and well provided for regret that they didn’t chase a career and they put that anger and drive into their daughters and even encouraged their daughters to focus more on career than marriage. Then it usually later backfires cos the daughter gets the career and then struggles to find or keep a man like their mother did. Sometimes we are in situations we may feel is bad or disadvantageous but we don’t realize we actually have something good going. The reason why most BW are in the situation they are in is because of the women that came before them. Most women of other races push their daughters to find a man while they are in college. Most BW tell their daughters to get their masters and PhD before thinking of getting a husband. As a black man, I feel sad when I see a super successful BW who has accomplished everything she then start struggling to find a man.
yeaaaa, imma fall back, this space is obviously for the ladies and we guys gotta back up from the channel a bit because this is a space for the ladies tbh. I think we as bm should let you all meet amongst yourselves and bm, stop sideling to add your 'p.s.,btw" and 2 cents. We should just treat this channel like our gf and or wife is at summer camp or something lol, call in a couple weeks and see how she's doin and leave her to be in community having conversations with her sisterhood. we always want to weaponize a view to the point it can't get through to who it needs to, this must stop. I've realized having your beliefs be deconstructed or what you've know all your life be deconstructed whilst it also happen in front of the party (bm in this case) that may be able to take advantage of who you become from that baptism in new information and new deconstructed self can be very vulnerable. You can't take a poop when someone's watching you and waiting on you to do it as if its expected, lol.
You are right this is a female space...but there's nothing wrong with pointing out a flaw if the intention is to build and edify...the problem is these female spaces and even male spaces become echo chambers...so I would argue that in order to maintain the balance and truth of perspectives it would be good for men to be in these room, only speaking when we are uplifting with truth and logic...and vice versa when a woman is in a male dominated space...in other words: be the other perspective in a positive way- as long as it's rooted in truth and logic.
@@diontaeglover860exactly 💯💯💯 these female only spaces is part of how we get to a point of misunderstanding and completely delusional expectations for men. Respectful discourse among both genders is what’s been missing
How do we know that you all are only switching from sisterhood to manosphere, because manosphere is more financially viable? Not to mention your first choice (American High Society) is in decay? You all better repent and know your place quick time is running out.
I don't think it's a question of black women going out of their way to prioritize education and careers over marriage. Most black women want to be in a loving, healthy relationship but the fact of the matter is every human being has a natural drive towards self actualization and black women shouldnt be criticized for naturally excelling in their careers. Many are brilliant and have a lot to offer. Maybe we focus on education and careers to get the external validation we are so often deprived of in this racist, colorist, and featurist society in which black women are put at the bottom of the desirability scale and are told to settle for any man. Unfortunately, many of our own men have turned their backs on us in an attempt at racial hypergamy, or simply have not made the effort to reach the same level of achievement as black women. These issues further limit the pool of eligible men who are willing and able to create partnerships with black women. If people want to say black women are failing at relationships mainly because we are prioritizing our careers, okay, but it's a very narrow-minded interpretation of the issue in my humble opinion and it gives misogynoir. We shouldn't be made to feel guilty for looking out for ourselves in a society that devalues us.
The education isn't the issue no man has a problem with a woman working and that is educated the problem starts when that degree is used to put men down that you are in a relationship with.
I’m sorry your small perceived pool is largely self imposed. Your own dating statistics proves this. Most BM do not want relationships with non BW. They want peace and cooperation. Education is great and shouldn’t be looked down upon. The main error o see coming from BW is they are arrogant about their education and do not present what it will bring to a relationship rather than stating I have this so you better provide this.
Racial hypergamy… that’s a new one. Never heard that one before. Think I’ll steal that one. But see the problem isn’t the education bw get, it’s when they look down on Bm who don’t have the same education and opportunities . Now as a street dude turned IT vendor, I can say from personal experience that a lot of the educated bw I’ve came across still try to have a holier than thou attitude even though most the time I make more than them without a degree. I would prefer to date Bw but since I leveled up, it’s hard to deal with the them on the level I’d prefer to because it’s just to many hurdles to jump through. No doubt the bw is strong and resilient but underneath all the tough exterior usually is just a hurt little girl who wants to be loved. And i wanna love her with all my heart. But to do so,I may have to deal with disrespectful undertones, doubt, bad faith,mind games, and hours & hours of conversation about their trauma to even get to the surface of her softness. As apposed to dating a ww, they usually have less trauma and are easier to deal with. It’s stressful being black period. I had to claw my way up from the bottom. I didn’t get on food stamps, i didn’t get a check, I had to pay like I weighed dollar for dollar and now that I’m finally comfortable I just don’t have the emotional capacity to deal with most bw, I can admit that.
BW your basically speaking to yourselves in regards to this issue. BM in the main has moved on and want nothing to do with all this BS,hence why BM are cool if you BW don’t want us.
![Quando Rondo - Grow Up [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/8zFnCg3BO4Q/mqdefault.jpg)
Thr first womsn was dead wrong. Nobody casts those things on BW. BW loudly promote those things themselves.
Yeah you talking about Tyneasha speaks, honestly her channel doesn't really reflect critical thinking. Just copy and paste talking points
The word salad is real
BW are the queens of playing the victim
🎯🎯🎯🎯
Why does agreeing with men get labled as pandering?... Why are men never allowed to be correct?...
Because a lot of the time you’re misogynists. Like a LOT of the time. You built and maintained the world off of pure misogyny for centuries, excuse us for being cautious.
Because that’s modern feminism. It is man-hating as opposed to uplifting women.
“Sin of Man “will always be The defecation answer to a society squirrels
@@chenyung8154uuh, last i checked lots of wmn liked that position too, ijs😏
because a lot of women walk around with the us vs them mentality and their goal is to compete with men but at the same time expect men to love and want to be with them
"BW are paid to be out of order" Iyanla Vanzant 2020
Yes Iyanla was one who supported this bad behavior when sista Ali highlighted it. Itanla is a hypocrite and should STFU as she has lead BW down that path because she sold out and got paid to do so.
You can be pro black and reject the negative parts of the black community. The negative parts of our community are dangerous and harmful. Your views are balanced, it's very similar to Francis cress Welson.
You are a mirror and a lot of Black women don't like looking at themselves.
Pro black is about loving your community, not just the sisterhood or the brotherhood. But loving the whole family.
I get it all the time from the men in our community. When I call them out it's always I hate our people. I ask them, if your child put his hands in an electrical outlet don't we spank thier hand. That's because we don't want them to hurt themselves. So this is my spanking to our people.
But the reality is many of us are selfish and this is the leading factor in our issues
@dbig48d Agree, the BM that don't want correction don't love themselves enough to see you are helping them
Since when has Bm not been overly critized...@@dbig48d
Facts. Too many brothers and sisters don't want accountability
In the cases of most black Americans. What family? Now I’m not trying to make this personal, because i actually agree with the basis of your comment. But when a single mom of 3 that’s living paycheck to paycheck is trying to preach to me, a single dad with full custody of my son, about how the Bm doesn’t want correction; how could I take her serious?
The reason BM like your content is cos it’s a breath of fresh air. And I’m speaking from experience.
Hey Nneka and thank you for this. I started my channel with women in mind but quickly learned that women didn’t want to hear what I was saying, & I now have a majority male audience. I understood why, but I didn’t accept that. However, I have since come to terms with that and understood that the Sisterhood will come for me due to them not wanting to hear discussions surrounding accountability and I’m fine with that. Women who find value in what we discuss will do so. And they also get put on notice that their slander doesn’t sway me. Also, more of us ladies in this space need to support one another so they know/see that other women support this type of content. You’re doing amazing work here!
As a black woman myself, I'm with you!
Is your channel geared towards married people or single? I would like to support.
Can you post a link as well. I usually respond to the algorithm.
This is very helpful feedback Mona. Thank you!
now yall are beginning to understand what bm have been saying since day 1. if bw won't listen to other bw, how do bw accept what bm have to say? we are losing as community and the solution is simple but at this point in time, impossible. be feminine. that's it.
@@PumpdaBrakes-ub8kp I don’t think we didn’t understand what men were saying. I think that what we do exposes the lies women tell which is that they want to hear the truth/have hard discussions with women. They exposed that they reject correction/truth and would rather be pandered to. They also exposed that black women are expected to be a monolith & are to be on “Sister code” no matter what, even at the expense of morals, dignity & integrity.
Sister you have done and are doing the emotional and mental work that’s needed. We appreciate you. The low hanging fruit is only appealing to the masses.
Thank you so very much! 🙏🏾
You’re welcome!!!
Yvette Carnell to Black women: 'Pick a Struggle!'
✊🏾👏🏿
Ladies, when you are setting the bar. Make sure It is for a human and not a Disney World character.
The sisterhood hates logical thinking and the truth. The Sisterhood might as well be labeled The Single Motherhood, cause thats who is primarily crying. You hardly ever hear about a childless woman complaining or being mad at men.
😅
Thank you for this brother. Well said
You forgot the “the bitter” part.
They do if they hit 30- 35 & their prospects shrink.
@@chosenlyric the key is twofold.
1. Some prospects shrink immediately to the point men don't approach them.
2. The other is the men they want don't approach them. Ie those men are checking for younger prettier girls. These women still get approached by me. They don't want.
You are doing extraordinary work here! Thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you Sister, you are definitely on to something. Both Black men and women are confused in this european toxic system. Many of us have gotten away from our roots, thinking that this new modern paradigm is better, than traditional values. Other groups living in the european world maintain their roots, so their families, marriages, etc are more intact. We must admit that we are being brainwashed and subjected to this toxic european programming of materialism and individualism. Family and marriages should be our primary objectives in our 20's, along with education and career. Why have an empty house and expensive care, with a dog, but not real legacy.
You can't conflate Pro-Blackness and current culture as being one and the same. Those are two distinctly different things. Being Pro-Black is supporting the advancement of your PEOPLE as a whole. Supporting, Business, Family, Economic growth, Wealth building and over all collective advancement. Black culture is something fluid and not as concrete because it has the ability to change along with the women of the society. Women have a significant impact on the culture of a society. Their contributions can shape social norms, values, attitudes, and behaviors. The socialization and upbringing of children (before the state began raising them when women joined the workforce) which shapes their values, beliefs and contributes to the transmission of cultural traditions from one generation to the next. They instill notions of empathy, care and ethical behavior in the family unit (again almost non existent nowadays) forming the foundation of societal values. Once the mindset of women changed, what use to be unacceptable did as well. Hence you have the current (Don't need no man RATCHET culture), where the majority of women (Highly educated Black Women) are being influenced to follow Non educated, low vibrating, TV personalities/Rappers/Artist types some of whom are launching STD name branded lip gloss (in which a number of women support), twerking on tables in restaurants or walking into them nude to protest their dress codes that promote modesty and decency. Supporting those things is not being Pro-Black. Supporting those things is being Pro-culture. Pro-Black is building our community. To support the current culture is to want to completely destroy it.
you snappin bro
@@ummmm_okay It's just the facts though. And One Love
Say no more brotha....say no more!!!! 💯 facts.
Comment of the Year
Spot on
Great video.
The young sister in the beginning stated something in reverse of how the relationship between the collective and the individual works. Most think and view everything through the lens that the multiple individual experiences drive the collective reality. It is the exact opposite. The collective reality drives the individual experience. The individual experience ALWAYS occurs within a group dynamic.
Our failure to manage the collective cultural consciousness is how we are collectively manipulated by our oppressor who very intentionally manipulates our collective cultural consciousness. Our individual perspectives are always within this context. Our individual perspectives make us constantly look at the exception such that we ignore the rule. We therefore do not come together and address the root causes of our collective problems.
WE as a people, men and women, are being manipulated. This is why the constant confusion. We are ignoring how the mechanisms of power and culture are being leveraged to lure us into self-destructive group norms such as laughing at being smacked on the ass or dancing to music that completely objectifies and degrades our women.
Solution MUST involve coming together within each locality to agree on a course of action and values that drive our tastes and desires, which in turn drive our aspirations and strivings.
ONE PEOPLE, ONE LOVE
The word you are looking for?... sadness?... shame?... disgust?....
The more you work on yourself the further you distance yourself from toxic people. I’m this case the sisterhood. Nothing wrong with standing up for your people but no one should ever hold up unrighteousness. Thank your work.
Modern woman isnt exclusively for black women its for any woman with that mindset. A lot bw happen to fit that mindset tho
Yeah.. if you look at some of these other channels, other groups of women are really adopting a modern/ feminist mindset.
as a black man i listen to a lot of black women when it comes to these conversations because i really want to understand the psyche of a modern black woman. there is clearly a disconnect between black men and women and i know listening to one side of the conversation (black mans perspective) will not advance my understanding of the disconnect between us. and what is weird is black men and black women clearly want to be together; but the battle between the two genders is prolonging what we both want (men and women) which is to be together.
Thank you!
The disconnect is that many women are lying and delusional. It’s tough to rationalize the irrational and deceptive. There’s a reason why men are supposed to or it’s best for them to lead because women will open Pandora’s box and then sit back and hope for the best.
I think these are all great reflections. Enjoyed listening, very transparent. I’m a light skinned mixed Afro Caribbean, my mums Afro Caribbean. Iv felt a lot of betrayal and emotional abuse from the sisterhood in the past so it’s been really challenging to find a home with a collective of Afro-centred sisters. Most of my community are of global majority in general but I have like one African sister friend surprisingly. I’m an artist an everything I do is anti status quo so I feel like I’m perceived as a red flag for most African or Caribbean sisters.
Amazing hearing you do everything you do an all your doing as a self autonomous powerhouse. I think the environment is incredibly hostile for women in general as a systemic white centred global enterprise of capitalism. Black women being the least supported I’m not surprised those women wanting to take a break for 3 years. I’m at the bottom of the hierarchy as a freelancer artist and I’m burnt out, I don’t even have a family or kids or consider myself a feminist, I’m just trying to exist and I’m exhausted. I don’t think white CIS men experience the same kind of exhaustion or stress even if there’s a similar or same work load. Not only are our bodies different, our nervous systems are different, our genetic history also plays a part and so does neurodiversity.
Black women need to factor in not only are we not able to perform or execute at the same capacity as white men because of historical abuse literally designing our nervous systems and our DNA, but that as women we function in cycles of production and rest, not 9-5 everyday work day. But Moon cycles, this is how the hormone body produces and functions. We are exploiting ourselves thinking this is the model of success and independence. Our hearts are broken from lineages of abuse and trauma that being in love and sustaining romantic relationships is extremely triggering and painful for most of us. Most men aren’t conscious enough to match a certain level of spiritual and emotional transparency for black women who are able to love fully. Those are all my thoughts 😂
I love all your thoughts. I feel you on being exhausted.
Excellent video. Keep up the great work!! 💯
Love YOUR WORK My Sister!!! Keep speaking Truth .. those of us who are wise will support You!!👏🏾👏🏾🙏🏾
It's okay to critique the things you love, many of the greatest people in history have. I am a feminist who critiques feminism, I believe feminism is being more open to the application and bringing more attention to female voices and needs and concerns.
Truly a Beautiful Mind THE MOST HONEST AND REALEST🤞🏿💯
They will tag you as a “pick me “ which is best compliment a woman could ever receive…
If you consider yourself as a standout product .. brand … or business… you should be a pick me … you should be on at your best on the market…
Shout out to all the sisters being accountable
You are going to ALWAYS be a part of my sisterhood! ❤
If you ever abandoned me…I would come find you. 😂🥰
Hi Nneka, please know that you will gain more subscribers when you “lean into your authentic self.” Always use that as your Northern compass. ✨🤴🏿🌱🇳🇬
Nneka delivery is so unbias and peaceful.
I love how she decimates information.
Keep it up
You are TRULY anointed to speak boldly about these topics.. God is with you!! Speak on!!!!!!
In this dangerous "#MeToo" environment, are there REALLY men who grab or slap women on the behind? Those men better be SUPER fine, all the way around, or they would find themselves in big trouble. Or they better be Pookies!
😂
Thanks!
Thank you SO much for your support! It is much appreciated. 🙏🏾🙌🏾💯👏🏾
Your mindset makes you even more beautiful 😍
Thank you for sharing this Nneka. I naturally assumed your journey would have brought you to junctions that questioned your motives and how you choose to use your energies. You speaking to this is unfortunately validating and silence lots of intelligent women that could help, but become too exhausted to fight for it. Perhaps thinking how much it may remove from them personally trying to share & rescue others that thumb their nose at the pick-me truth seeker. Thank you for fighting through judgement & crass and for continuing to be that intelligent feminine warrior that you so eloquently display and for sharing what you know & have learned. I long for the days where a sisterhood means more than a pseudo social cyber network of energy that have protected rogue independent perspectives, lessened traditional standards and created family degeneration to a more meaningful, personal, loving, supportive, social fabric of women that honor traditional values, families and allow women the space to speak truth - even if it stings a lit bit. Peace
It is refreshing to read your comment and know that you understand where I’m coming from. It lets me know that my message is valuable, despite the sisterhood going MIA on me lol. 🙃🙏🏾
Awesome channel.. Keep at it sista 💯💯
The first woman was spot on. I had to come to the realization of this in myself.
Feminist in the streets & pick me in the sheets. I like that 😂😂😂
Hello..You are truly real and have kept it real. It's refreshing to see a woman(a black woman) present the issues and also suggest a solution.
I don't think you are pro men, you just deal with an issue that's most women or people in general doesn't want to deal with.
It is great that you do not appeal only to one set of people( even though you lean a bit towards men)
I am proud human beings....Sometimes we want to be pro black but when you see hoe some of us treat each other you wonder.....We cannot want something for people more than they do for themselves.
For me to be pro black I need to see so many changes that I cannot make, so I Won't paint myself in that corner.
Continue to do your thing and I wish you success which I know you will have over time.
I'll continue to watch. Bless
I will just say,
Your skin looks radiant in the sunlight OMG
Not to overshadow my first thoughts: I just love your gorgeous hair.
Thanks so much Geno 🙏🏾! The sun keeps my skin and hair healthy too.
@@nnekaonyilofor awesome sista i wrote a little on my thoughts of your appeal to men, you embody 6 out 7 things we as men speak on that we want in sistas. so your appeal is more towards us guys. plus your not hard to listen too. im glad you provide balance and unabias.
dont fret those calling you pick mes. those are what we as men call pass by chicks.
@@genovasquez8361 What are the 7 things?
@@nnekaonyilofor
can i name only 6 of them?
an not focus on one thing
@@nnekaonyilofor
Things about you men want
1. Your hair is natural on wow
2. Your face is pretty
3. You look youthful
4. Your voice is attractive and sounds nice and sweet
5. You are actually smart, articulate and illustrate it, i would assume you got a PHD or Masters plus 30 or something
6. You got a booty, just playing, frfr your personality seems sweet and kind
There is more stuff besides those things. but these are somethings men want...
Smart and sweet personality, no weave, no make up and no eye lashes.
not all hood and ghetto you dont act and talk like a stud chick
it so much but your opposite of what we BM have been saying what we want.
GOOD WORK LADY KEEP THAT ENERGY COOKING 🎯🎯
Interesting, honest, introspective. Dare to be different. Going against the collective.
Good transparency video. The sistas in the sistahood will be fine, overloaded with work, unstructured families, unhealthy mindsets/on psych meds and will have many 🐱s. They will be wealthy as well, 🤔?
I happened upon your video and must say, I’m totally impressed upon hearing your perspective on today’s world issues. We as a people are helping destroy our own culture and linage by standing on code with the Brotherhood & Sisterhood mentality, instead of standing up for what’s right.
You would think by now the Crab-N-Bucket mentality would have been dead and buried in this year of 2023. But my thoughts are if we don’t start standing up as not on a race of people, but as a family unit (1 man, 1 woman in a relationship) the Black man & the Black woman standing together as a total unit enforcing family values, the future generations of Black people will end up back in slavery in the not so distant future.
Peace sister, I just bought your book, i don't have kids myself but I do co-parent my niece because my sister passed away, my other sister and I will be raising her. I think your book\channel will be a great start for me to understand black women.
This is very helpful feedback. Thank you for supporting my channel and book! 🙏🏾
@@nnekaonyilofor no problem
Bay Area girl? I saw u on BART. Keep up the great work!
I'm interested in doing a youtube channel. I'd like to have you on every now and again or more for discussions. We can discuss that. I see things that you discuss, and there are things I see that are missing pieces of things that you talk about.
Thank you for your feedback. I am very open to learning more and what I leave out.
This is really good!!!😊
Ya think you could have chosen a noisier spot to record 😅
I know. Sorry 🙉🙈.
Thing is who gives a fuk if they like you or not you go by your own merit it's something I had to learn when I was considered to not be part of the male ken to the sisterhood
So far Eye Soully agree with... Definitely your take on The Sister HOODs!
I understand where you are coming but some bw have been hurt badly im sorry you cant comprehend that
What state and city are you in right now. I love the fall colors
Germantown, Maryland. I have another video coming with a “fall tour” included. Stay tuned!
It's wild it's a lot of yt content creators from the DMV and Illinois
All the very best with your pitch🎉
Thanks so much!
If black women are hurt by all those things they should heal first before they try to get into relationships. HEAL FIRST!!!
True but many cant afford it. Therapy is very expensive, and men need healing as much if not more and many dont want the expense or make the time or would rather buy expensive material things vs getting their minds right
Defense mechanisms an over corrections
My sister, let the Europeans deal with that feminist madness.
Great Topic/Geat Video 💪🏿💯, Thank you
Damn you are so pretty I love your hair my beautiful Chocolate 🍫🍫🍫 melanated Sista 💖💖💖🥰🥰🥰
Thank you!
Yes sir she is fine as wine. And she can speak properly.
They look at you as a "pick me".
I'd pay to see interviews. Some dope background pic (Mt.Kilimajaro if u take request), they can maintain they're anonymity however they like.
I'd sub hard to that. Have them give they're perspectives in faucets of modern America... some issues they deal with or wanna shed light on.
Also, let this be mostly middle class and lower blk women.
Thank you for this feedback!
I appreciate your content keep up the good work
Loving you sooo much already! ❤❤❤
Youre doin a good job
Great content!
Nneka, why do we need to use the adjective "BLACK" when speaking/writing? Why isn't our blackness understood, even if un(spoken/written)? Does the fist rose above the head symbolizes aggression, strength and power? Which of these three words (aggression, power, strength) symbolizes female/femininity?
Thank you for your comments Jman. I use the term Black so ppl can know that I am either speaking to Black Americans or Black ppl in the diaspora broadly.
@@nnekaonyilofor ok
You can't Prioritize a Relationship and be a Feminist. Because in part, Feminism was created to free Women from needing a Relationship to Advance. (At least, in my opinion.)
However, Feminism never took Relationships into account or prioritized Relationships as necessary beyond the Support of Feminism. So, Feminist Women "from different backgrounds" band together with a common goal, but having a common goal does automatically equate to Good friendships or relationships. And it definitely doesn't mean the Women agree on relationships. So, you can have a Woman that hates or isn't attracted to Men preaching to a Women that does. However, they should be considered separate, but Feminism does not allow for division or disagreement within the prevailing ideal. Which is primarily that Men are the enemy.
Bottom line is most Women can't be a Feminist and have Successful Relationships with Men "Personal or Professional." Meaning, you can't need a Man "which is normal;" then hate what he is and provides as a Man. It's just Self-Sabotage for Women that want a Man, but it's ideal for Women that have no interest in Men at all; well at least publicly. IMO
Very good points!
You'll be aight. It's better to live by a code that adheres to what you believe in your core to be right than to go against that to fit in. At least that's how I see it. The general sisterhood assertion that to be pro woman means you cannot offer critique to a woman under any circumstance is absurd.
What we are doing as a community is not sustainable and we will wake up out of whatever this is. Unfortunately when is the real question
Get your passport bros and leave matrix 😳✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️
What i never admitted abt being a black woman ?i wish i was light skinned(south africa)
Strong and independent
Get your passports gentlemen ✈️
You do realize that she's an ally to BM
if you don't see that then go catch that plane please.
@@dbig48d I love her and a major supporter of my beautiful sister! What I'm saying is that there's no hope in trying to change these 304s and their hook up culture. We just need to go where we can find peace and wife materials period.
@@chrismog286You really think the majority of men who watch these channels still think they can change the “ lovely ladies”? I think a growing number want to get on that plane with you.
@chrismog286 I got you my brother
I'm just tired of this back and forth between BM & BW online. I'm going to make that distinction because I don't see it in every day life. This passport and divestor movement needs to end. Our people are suffering worldwide at the hand of white sumprecy. No wars should be fought between BP. I take offense to a lot of the passport guys because of the reckless talk of BW. if you're truly fed up with Western Women, particularly BW, then apply for citizenship in another country and go there. I've traveled and done business with foreign countries, particularly Asian companies. And the attitude they have towards our people I can't understand why any BM would promote those women over our own. America is a self centered nation so I can understand people being turned off by that. But not at the expense of our BW. i know some trifling BW but i know so many more thats grounded and know who they are. They don't need to be lumped in with the trifling bunch we have in our race. I don't know why we get upset at WP when they do it when we comfortably do the same to each other. That's just my personal beef with Divestors and Passport Brothers.
If you aren’t talking about truly integrating into a foreign culture then you aren’t serious. And if you’re plan is bringing a woman here then have fun being a mark.
Just up and leaving your home country to find a woman is not realistic.
There is so much to unpack here. First, as I've already told you, I will join your membership - it will be my first!. I think your audience having a lot of men is an advantage because theyre listening and perhaps learning but as men, theyre also looking for validation for some of their negative ideas about BW and weaponizing these ideas.
Nonetheless, its very important to help shift the attitudes you so clearly outlined abt how BW grew to be so career oriented and how the 'boss' culture came about. I think tho for balance, cover the issues more deeply on why the behaviors of MEN has largely contributed. Its not these women's fault that they adapted despite mustreatment, neglect and abuse they've experienced or witnessed. Men wont like those discussions I bet. Test it out. And if you lose some of your male audience, explore what that means 🤔.
As for the Sisterhood, they abandoned me long ago. Id love to see a healing around how we BW whether they achieve 'boss' status or never even enter that arena, are so hostile to each other. I lost 4 BW friends in 2022, including my own sister! I have pondered this and I could blame myself easily - I am analytical, a deep thinker, a consumer of information, a nerd, a lover of discourse, creative, bold, brave, opinionated 😬 and - socially isolated.
I also think there could be a platform for women who have no voice; those that are looked down upon and stigmatized by successful BW, many of whom work in fields of care but actualy see themselves as supetior! These women oppress poor women. I steered clear of them!!!
I dont identify with feminism per se but may think more like a man perhaps... but I also love men who make me feel feminine. What you might ask / explore is that - how can our BM support our femininity so we feel safe being more of what they need as opposed to using us to satisfy themselves and then engaging in typical male behaviors...
From our consulting session a few months ago, you know a bit more abt me and my goals. That session allowed me to feel a connection to who you are beyond your channel. So, making sure to make that affordable is critical and that might drive your channel and broaden your audience, I think. I have questions every day, but I can't afford to hire the help I need.
Recently, I met a young man with all the tech and marketing skills and know how but he wanted to have sx or intimate photos in order to help me! Yeah, and men wonder why we become 'boss' cuz I sure will be feeling boss if I figure this all out myself 😂
What negative ideas about black women are you referring to you say black men will use to validate and use against black women?
I'm a black man with 3 sons.... I'm constantly teaching my sons to fight against the Sexy Red...Cardi B.... MT Stallion... influence on these young black girls and women.... The media and music industry continue to push the most destructive behaviors in our community.... If we could amplify respectability and our amazing history of black educated.. business owners and hard working people....I believe our culture would be more respected and imitated in this society with greater beneficial relationships.
Nothing wrong with a sista having a degree, or even going to college or even getting a career.
I have always had aunties who had degrees and cousins who have degrees all quite older than you,
Put it this way my mama was born in 1930s. Although she was suppose to go college because her mother and father was sending her she choose to drop out and follow the street. I wasnt raise by mama, Hence why i didnt become a career criminal like my two brothers. I was raise by my father.
I digress, an im better for it. Graduated highschool didnt drop out like my brothers, an went to college unlike my brothers.
i think the issue isnt women getting degrees, or women getting high paying jobs. I have always dated women who were educated or if not educated were high up onon totem pole employment wise. I have actually dated three women who actually had 7 figures.
I also have met women who lived with they sista, a roomate, or out right living in section 8 housing who have the boss babe mentality.
The mentality is ghetto and hood to me, It has nothing to do with what man has done or is doing. More or less sistas cave to peer pressure in highschool to be mean girls, to be sassy and be bossy. An that mentality carries over into adulthood. Usually if a girl has a cliiqe of females she is gonna have a the boss babe attitude. EVEN if she is broke or jobless. The conceit and arrogance and street mentality is ever apparent.
There is nothing a man can do to make a woman be feminine or submissive.
You are that way or you not.
Most good faithful men get walked over by yall, and treated like trash, while the bad men like get your obedeience. Because you know i will leave you for one of the other girls im seeing. But the key is you chose to stay and you chose to obey. Not because i did anything. Outside of NOT put up with your ish and take what you think i deserve. I will bow out gracefully and go to the next women in my rooster. I treat yall like your replaceable. An those of you who stick around really want to be around. I dont do anything to prove my worth. i dont chase women, i give attention to the women who chase me. I dont jump through hoops,
I am not a provider
I am not Faithful
I am not a nice guy
I lead with one thing only
I focus on getting you sprung and laying it down in bed room. If we dont make it to bedroom we will have NO interactions and no relationship in any capacity.
I dont share my energy and time and attention with every woman who thinks i should give them a shot at friendship or learning something from me,
im college educated, gainfully employed, self educated ie i have a library in my house. Im divorced. but childless. An the women i meet and chose to deal with are feminine, soft, submissive and independant and self reliant and strong.
The only things i say sistas as a whole have issue with is the following:
1. They Sassy Mouth
2. They Mean girl Attitude
3. The need to wear weave
4. The Stomach or being overweight or fullfigured
5. Being Single Mothers
These are reason we dont want marriage with 9 out o 10 of you as black males.
Also the reason i have never met a woman 30 years plus worthy of marrying me
The blame game is funny because we as brothas can say we sag our pants because fine fine sistas like it
We got a 1000 tattoos because beautiful sistas like it
We Smoke weed because pretty girls like it
We sell dope because Beautiful sistas love it.
But i have done none of those things, Never smoked even a cigerette, Have never been drunk or high in my entire life
Have no tattoos, No criminal record, college educated not a drop out. infact kept a 3.8 gpa through highschoool and college.
I have done none of those hood things i listed. An i still get with sistas.
There are women who are feminine, submissive, an have hsubands who dont work or pay bills of all races. I know plenty outside of my racce.
I have a friend who does work, his wife makes significantly more than he does and he is the one at home with the kids mostly.
She still submit to him and they are Asian.
When a sistas says a brotha needs to do something so she can be feminine, that means her femininity is optional and a choice.
Being a masculine man is who i am. Its not something i can turn on an off.
A woman who is freaky that is who she is
A woman who is kinky that is who she is
A woman who headstrong and bullheaded that who she is
A woman who is sweet, loving, an kind that is who she is
A woman who is godly that is who she is
A woman who is submissive and obedient to the man she loves thats who she is.
She doesnt need a reason to be who she is. There is not amount money a man can earn that can make a headstrong obstinant woman be geniunely submissive.
What we have here is transactional feminiity...Make the money and pay all the bills so i dont have too. an then ill be soft and feminie....It dont work that way sweetie.
😊
@@macman9689Her whole premise is men dont make enough money and want them to go 50/50...she is one of those who wants men to step it up, an make six figures so he can give her softlife so she can live in luxury and have our bills paid while she still works and saves all her money for herself while he works hard to make her happy and she gives little or nothing in return.
She is saying she wnt be soft or feminine or submissive to a brotha until he levels up his finances. an pays all her bills.
Its basically hypergamy(sex worker) talking points. There thing is they have to be educated and strong and work a career because they cant find a man making 150k to marry them so they can live a soft life.
But the thing is if a man is gonna level up, be ambitious and get all these status symbols. he probably gonna date outside his race. Becuase that goes along with his rise to affluence and gives him a higher status symbol in those rooms with other high value men. He gonna stop dating Keisha Knight and marry Vanna White.
@genovasquez8361 I didnt say MAKE ME FEMININE - i said make me FEEL feminine when I am around them. I can be whatever I need to be - if that is strong or sweet or anything in between, but the men that are kind, sexy and NOT walking around with a disproportionate p to ginormous attitude, are a turn on. The rest are boring. I leave them to the impressionable, more malkeable young women of today. Im out ✌️
Question;
What is a feminist?
Are there differences in Black Women vs African americian women?
Great question. In my opinion, African American is similar to ADOS. Black is more inclusive to others in the diaspora, who may have been born elsewhere, but live in the U.S. or have adpoted a similar mindset. Since I live in the U.S. I am usually describing Black women in the U.S.
@@nnekaonyilofor What a shame and disgrace so many go to America to walk in the blood of those Ancestors of the Original Builders of America Walking in their blood with out due homage and feverent disrespect to their descendents.
In response to the beginning of the video mentioning that black women choose careers over family.
Black people have been victims of
MARKETING!
Black people are so ready to take responsibility for negative things or hold other black people accountable for societal ills.
White people have failing relationships and violence in their communities as well, but we want to own it and explain it all the time.
I have met white people that have had things go on in their community that I could never imagine in the black community I grew up in but if you watch the media we all live in dysfunctional homes or violent communities.
I am a married black woman of 14 years to a successful black man and mother of 2 children.
Let me tell you something - I build furnitures on demand - one thing I’ve observed about my clients - 9 out of 10 are feminists or young women with no man - what I’ve especially observed from the older ones - THEY ALL ENDED UP ALONE - I know that because no ring on their finger - no man in their house - ages from 30-40-50 years end up alone with a diploma on the wall, cats, working at home, struggling - I’m well accustomed now to the pattern - you will not be able to change their feminist mind unfortunately - focus on the newer generation - unplug from the sisterhood, it’s a lonely but healthy decision
I can see what you are saying. Wow!
One question? What black women do you know that’s calling herself a feminist?
Most bw in my generation gen z
You don’t have to call yourself a feminist to be one….
@@Dewane1511 a black women prioritizing her education and future makes her a feminist? A black women seeing that tradition gets you nowhere makes her a feminist? Her talking points is not gonna get her a man. Because that’s what’s she tryna do.
@@a.n.watson8797I think the important point is to be authentic, like she said in the video. If you don't believe in traditional values, that's okay. Find a man who also does not believe in traditional values. But if you are a woman who does, be clear and act accordingly, so that way we don't waste each other's time. No harm, no foul.
them women i mention can help you with business side of you tube
Thank you!
I think i lll have to look at some of the community tabs. dont know if i commented on everything.
But listening to your video. I know your getting backlash from the sister hood.
Two main reasons your attract more men in general of all races.
1. Your more appealing to the male gaze. WE love your look, You have the facial beauty we look for in the world and the type of women we would fall inlove with at first sight. The hair, the face, the skin, your features. An your thick, which is plus: When we are young we love em thick. So you may attract men way younger than 40 too. But over all you go completely against the female gaze. The Female Gaze: heavy foundation make up, Bright cololrs like eye shadow, blush and bright lip stick, and lots of weave and eye lashes. This is the female gaze. I know other content creators who like their second part, but their look is too female gaze and i had few videos where they didnt put on thier battle paint, An they look so fine, im like wow, thats how you look: also i think sisters like to wear make up because it makes them look mature. We as men like a woman to look younger or youthful. Since black women age slower, They wear make up to age their face. I dont know why sistas like looking 60 in the face, but it is what is. WE as men love a nautral sista.
For me if she wants to get dolled up, just maybe glossy lip gloss or clear or skin colored lip gloss, and perfum that smells fruity or scented lotions, and may glitter. Thats what i find attractive or alluring on woman, But if your fine you fine, you dont need all the extra, just smell good.
2. The second reason in addition to you going against the female gaze and looking more in tune with the male gaze as a whole. Your voice, your intellect, your thoughts and the way you articulate them from very first video the invisible woman series. Its not bashing or degrading or blaming all men. Its basically giving your personal experience and account of what you experienced and observed. Its not a piece that goes into saying this and that about brothers. It brings up the fact that the area and location is not ideal due to demographics and it also speaks to other things that you experienced by men like the guy in grocery store he jumped and went into another isle to avoid making contact with you. There is alot to impact there. An there are reasons to it, because of this current climate of the gender war between our race. But really your thinking, your tone, your comical inflection in other videos, your articulation, your intellectual introspection and even your ability to decimate information based in logic is something that we as men can relate too, something that appeals to us. To the sistahood mindset, they would see you as someone hossity, too good, conceited, on heirs, or just not hood enough. You lack the ghetto and hood speak that i despise which draws me to you outside of just your good looks. You sound and actually are intelligent. Your not someone who is ghetto trying to sound as if she knows something.
You sound educated as well. Although you speak down to earth and don't go full colleigat jargon. You thoughts and deliverly show your deeper thinker and logical. Which is rare in sistas, truly. ONE of my girlfriends would probably love you. Because albeit she is not college educated she is very much a professional an is in management an she for as long as i known her been more intellectual and logical than any sista i ever worked with or seen in general. An that includes the sistas i went to college with. Her ability to absorbed information, learn it with clear lense and understand it from a logical clear and concise view is rare.
These are the very things that set you apart.
I didnt mention to conten switch, because i do agree with it, an many things you say make me laugh, i dont know you were trying to be funny with bbl series but that was hiliarious. But there are other content creators who either have that slay to nines beat face to gods look or they are ghetto and hood.
i dont want to say your more feminne. because i dont believe sistas as a whole are masculine like alot of content creators are saying. I will say your more classy and lady like. Because sistas as a whole are still more feminine, except for maybe young M.A. Wanda Sykes. But most sistas are Steet and ghetto. An thats something im glad your NOT. i grew in STL in suburbs. An the chicks who was the most HOOD were in the county. I went to the literal projects and saw more feminine ie classy or softer looking and acting, an talking women than in higher socio economica areas. My ex wife was literally from the Projects.
Her voice
Her tone
How she dress
How she looks
How she acts
I would never known. I met her when she was 18. An when she first approached me she did so subtlely i didnt realize she choosing me, until others pointed out she was interested in me, I just thought she was being friendly because of the age difference. i digress.
Your total demanor and style is anti sista hood. How you speak, think and talk is anti sisterhood.
We need to get away from being pro black and pro feminst
We NEED to focus on Black Education: Not just actuall useful careers in stem, but education in mindset, we need the brainwashing of hood, street smarts and ghetto knowledge to be taught out of our minds both young and old.
We NEED to focus on Black Wealth: The number one cause to crime is poverty or money issues. WE do NEED finaical literacy and business acumen of course. But in addition to that, we need large summations of revenue and profits to sustain us. Many of the issues we suffer is due to lack or struggle. Second only is ghetto mindset or hood conditioning.
We NEED black LOVE: Not just romantically, that is definitely a prime imperative. But we need black love for each other. We need to love ourselves and each other more than anything else in this entire world. We need to love each other so strongly and wholistically that our entire paradigm shifts and psyche changes.
These are things i feel as a people will benefit us. Discarding all the nonsesical stuff. I use to be problack in junior high and highschool. I stop identifying with problack once i met other problacks in mass, BECAUSE alls they was talking is rethoric. Nothing actionable and nothing to promotes growth or puts in a posistion to thrive. Its basically a bunch of emotional feeling diatribes they profess and thats about it.
Geno, you had me blushing and you took me to church toward the end here. Your nuanced feedback is invaluable. 🙏🏾
@@nnekaonyilofor correction your more appealing to our male gaze. Not the female gaze I need to read through edit
@@nnekaonyilofor your welcome I was trying to type while I was working real fast
@@nnekaonyilofor I love making you blush...
Lol at take you to church at the end glad that resonated with you
❤❤❤❤❤
Feminist in the streets and pick me in the sheets! put that on a shirt
If you pander to the sisterhood you will be lost and a wasted woman, a fool.
The sisterhood supports shenanigans, twerking, and foolishness. Having traditional values is not valued by the “sisterhood”.
My question concerning feminism is how is it that other races can prioritize getting married and getting a degree at the same time.
The Issue with feminism, Is its not inclusive of black women: Feminism in it self was about power. For women non black women who arent sexually attracted to men. So they can thrive with a husband or have a need to be romantically involved with men. Feminism is a political bill. That has elements with in the bill that draws ideological views of many different women to get them onboard so that bill could be passed. But the additives are not purely based on feminism intial precepts.
I think feminism did more harm against women as a whole.
Nah that’s the trend now ! The trend is u have kids ???! For what ???! U lost ! U did it wrong!! U need to have your own !! Never ask for help !! N ur revenge is hanging your own !! It’s heavy lol
Between feminism and Divestors .. wat should BM interested in BW do? How do we navigate through this before dying 😂
If you are interested in ABW , then you are going to have to accept them as they are and figure it out.
@@nangaeboko6710…right cuz they won’t change and refuse to listen, how did I forget
@@nangaeboko6710I’m dating a ww at the moment but bro if I could find a bw like the one in this video I’d put Kate in the friend zone asap.
@@richmondwotters clearly you’re a good black man. No BW would treat you properly, it’s like in their software or something 🧬 stay where you’re at ✊🏿
Being pro-black doesn’t mean accepting everything blacks do as being correct. In fact, correcting blacks when we are wrong is the most pro-black thing you can do.
I made the same argument when people called Colin Kaepernick “anti-American.” The greatest love you can show your country is to call it out when it mistreats its own citizens. From that standpoint, Kaepernick was the ultimate patriot.
So well said! 🎯
Exactly 💯!! Accepting accountability leads to change!
There’s no black sisterhood. Worry about yourself.
I hate to admit this but I will. I’ve seen BW who were housewives and well provided for regret that they didn’t chase a career and they put that anger and drive into their daughters and even encouraged their daughters to focus more on career than marriage. Then it usually later backfires cos the daughter gets the career and then struggles to find or keep a man like their mother did. Sometimes we are in situations we may feel is bad or disadvantageous but we don’t realize we actually have something good going. The reason why most BW are in the situation they are in is because of the women that came before them. Most women of other races push their daughters to find a man while they are in college. Most BW tell their daughters to get their masters and PhD before thinking of getting a husband. As a black man, I feel sad when I see a super successful BW who has accomplished everything she then start struggling to find a man.
Yes, so many BW have this experience!
you making videos off of i270 🤔
😅 Yup. How can you tell?
that building…now i can stalk you…jump out the bush & be like BOO!!! 👻
@@636racer 😂
yeaaaa, imma fall back, this space is obviously for the ladies and we guys gotta back up from the channel a bit because this is a space for the ladies tbh. I think we as bm should let you all meet amongst yourselves and bm, stop sideling to add your 'p.s.,btw" and 2 cents. We should just treat this channel like our gf and or wife is at summer camp or something lol, call in a couple weeks and see how she's doin and leave her to be in community having conversations with her sisterhood. we always want to weaponize a view to the point it can't get through to who it needs to, this must stop.
I've realized having your beliefs be deconstructed or what you've know all your life be deconstructed whilst it also happen in front of the party (bm in this case) that may be able to take advantage of who you become from that baptism in new information and new deconstructed self can be very vulnerable. You can't take a poop when someone's watching you and waiting on you to do it as if its expected, lol.
You are right this is a female space...but there's nothing wrong with pointing out a flaw if the intention is to build and edify...the problem is these female spaces and even male spaces become echo chambers...so I would argue that in order to maintain the balance and truth of perspectives it would be good for men to be in these room, only speaking when we are uplifting with truth and logic...and vice versa when a woman is in a male dominated space...in other words: be the other perspective in a positive way- as long as it's rooted in truth and logic.
@@diontaeglover860well said
@@diontaeglover860exactly 💯💯💯 these female only spaces is part of how we get to a point of misunderstanding and completely delusional expectations for men. Respectful discourse among both genders is what’s been missing
I don’t know but did Ms. Onyilofor ever show her analytics as to the breakdown of who is subscribed to her channel?
@@seensay2132Yes. Honest and respectful discourse is very much needed.
That shit came from TV and Music. Now women are talking about not working, because they saw it on tictoc. Stop it...
Which is crazy because women of all races work 75% of time if they are a couple.
😅
Black hold that same hurt but don't make our carrers our entire personality
How do we know that you all are only switching from sisterhood to manosphere, because manosphere is more financially viable? Not to mention your first choice (American High Society) is in decay? You all better repent and know your place quick time is running out.
So, are you more of a womanist? Got Ida B Wells in my mind as an example.
That is basically the Black version of feminist. I don't identify with that either.
I don't think it's a question of black women going out of their way to prioritize education and careers over marriage. Most black women want to be in a loving, healthy relationship but the fact of the matter is every human being has a natural drive towards self actualization and black women shouldnt be criticized for naturally excelling in their careers. Many are brilliant and have a lot to offer.
Maybe we focus on education and careers to get the external validation we are so often deprived of in this racist, colorist, and featurist society in which black women are put at the bottom of the desirability scale and are told to settle for any man.
Unfortunately, many of our own men have turned their backs on us in an attempt at racial hypergamy, or simply have not made the effort to reach the same level of achievement as black women. These issues further limit the pool of eligible men who are willing and able to create partnerships with black women.
If people want to say black women are failing at relationships mainly because we are prioritizing our careers, okay, but it's a very narrow-minded interpretation of the issue in my humble opinion and it gives misogynoir.
We shouldn't be made to feel guilty for looking out for ourselves in a society that devalues us.
The education isn't the issue no man has a problem with a woman working and that is educated the problem starts when that degree is used to put men down that you are in a relationship with.
😂😂😂
I’m sorry your small perceived pool is largely self imposed. Your own dating statistics proves this. Most BM do not want relationships with non BW. They want peace and cooperation. Education is great and shouldn’t be looked down upon. The main error o see coming from BW is they are arrogant about their education and do not present what it will bring to a relationship rather than stating I have this so you better provide this.
Racial hypergamy… that’s a new one. Never heard that one before. Think I’ll steal that one. But see the problem isn’t the education bw get, it’s when they look down on Bm who don’t have the same education and opportunities . Now as a street dude turned IT vendor, I can say from personal experience that a lot of the educated bw I’ve came across still try to have a holier than thou attitude even though most the time I make more than them without a degree. I would prefer to date Bw but since I leveled up, it’s hard to deal with the them on the level I’d prefer to because it’s just to many hurdles to jump through. No doubt the bw is strong and resilient but underneath all the tough exterior usually is just a hurt little girl who wants to be loved. And i wanna love her with all my heart. But to do so,I may have to deal with disrespectful undertones, doubt, bad faith,mind games, and hours & hours of conversation about their trauma to even get to the surface of her softness. As apposed to dating a ww, they usually have less trauma and are easier to deal with. It’s stressful being black period. I had to claw my way up from the bottom. I didn’t get on food stamps, i didn’t get a check, I had to pay like I weighed dollar for dollar and now that I’m finally comfortable I just don’t have the emotional capacity to deal with most bw, I can admit that.
BW your basically speaking to yourselves in regards to this issue. BM in the main has moved on and want nothing to do with all this BS,hence why BM are cool if you BW don’t want us.
And yet here you are on a black women channel.
6:30 make sure ur redy for it 🤌🏿💪🏿