My husband is 90 years old and I am 75 years old. We are extremely aware and concerned about our environment and climate. We live accordingly. We care about the future for all creatures.
Sorry to tell you this but man-made catastrophic global warming is just a scam being used to push politics on us. It's called Agenda 21 and it's going to ruin everyone's future.
The jokes aren’t about you though. It’s about the large statistical portion of the over 65s who either don’t believe or don’t care… a portion that is also over represented in positions of power. People under 65 also have deniers, but a quarter is easier to deal with than half. He could have also tried to mobilized more young people to run for government and actually vote, which younger people statistically fail to do in higher numbers contributing to this problem. Another big issue that could resolve the imbalance of power and the government not reflecting the actual demographics of the country is to make sure everyone has equal voting access. Impoverished people and POC of all age groups are more likely to suffer from climate change problems, so they tend to care more… but if they can’t vote…
Fellow Charlsetonian here, I about died hearing Stephen say psgetti! That's something me and my family have always said and people look at me like I'm crazy (especially since I work in an Italian restaurant). You honestly brought me home and made me smile like someone who could actually be carefree in this crazy time. Thank you and your crew for all that you do!
I don’t think it’s a regional thing, though. I think it’s just something people everywhere in the U.S. say to be goofy or because they’re, y’know... kindergarteners.
Actually, it's something people all over the English speaking world say! The same as many other words which people deliberately mispronounce for the fun of it. For example, 'veginegar' instead of vinegar. 😁
@@wilb6657 Meat in itself isn't the problem, it's the commercial meat industry. Frankly, if we went back to smaller family farms and raised maybe 10% less beef we'd be better off. I will never go vegan or vegetarian, death is the only option.
Hilarious but also depressingly apt to our current reality of an out of control police state that serves one and only master while oppressing all others.
The scariest thing for me, living in Wyoming, is seeing everything happening around the world and having to go to work everyday to keep my mouth shut or face the anger and ridicule for contesting what's really going on. How do we hold people accountable for their words. The worst thing about this is in Wyoming I was raised that your word is who you are. How can we be raised with those values and still lie to those that we are supposed to serve.
I feel this in my soul. You're not alone. I had to have dental work after I got my second vaccine shot. I'm in the great, by which I mean awful, state of Missouri and I'm surrounded by idiots. Just before the dental nurse took a look in my mouth she decided that was a good time to tell me she's a Trump supporter. What do you do? Get up and walk out? And go where? Only 37% of this county is vaccinated. That number has risen 2% in 4 months. So climate change? Ha. Not bloody likely. These people aren't going to believe in climate change until they've got beach front property. And then, they'll likely praise Trump when they can sell it for a nice paycheck and enter retirement. Thank God for the internet? I mean it's a double-edged sword but I'm thankful I know there are more people out there who aren't like this.
So a person who was going to help you take care of your teeth mentioned that they liked the ex president and you wanted to get up and leave, why? Did it scare you, anger you? what a brittle and narrow mindset that is to have to carry around, it must be tiring. You do realize that you took "Trumps" vaccine, he was president when it was being developed, just because Biden won doesn't mean they switched all the chemicals after the election..
@@joedominguez9437, I don't want to be around Trump supporters because they're anti-mask and the nurse had just gotten finished telling me she and her daughter don't wear masks. Considering I have MS and am at high risk, getting coronavirus is not high on my list of things to do. But way to turn this into a claim of prejudice. When your activities don't put my health at risk, then do whatever you like.
@Jason James : I know I should not respond to trolls, your account was created less than a month ago, but you seem staunchly in favor of Coco-Puffs. And to belabor the metaphor, Fruit Loops as well.
@@Ghost-uf4ds : Agreed. Imagine all the stuff that they could not air. . . Wow. The mind boggles. . . I think a lot of the stuff that they can't use on the main show they use on Tooning Out the News. . . Just a hunch.
lol yup :) and all pets too! My lorikeets (nectar eaters) can't stop snapping at the flies anytime one manages to find it's way into their cage. I mean they're yet to catch one & I'd be super impressed if they did, given their beak is only as big as the fly, but hey, they try
@@kenbrown2808 you're not suggesting sky raisins aren't vegan are you? ;) I've never actually heard the term sky raisins before this video (but it's everywhere in the comments here). I think it's a different country thing, but to me it sounds like something a new age vegan would make up lol
Leave the scary news to Stephen Colbert for he won’t just panic with you he will ensure you go out laughing and having a good time. Gosh this climate change is scary but I really we can turn the tables and win in this situation. Majority of us want to live. Love you Stephen. Keep up the great work my man.
nope, we can't.. majority of us want to eat burgers, drive cars and take planes to reach faraway beaches.. the others just want to make money.. capitalism is forever, my friend.
Oh Scott, you are such a lay down. If climate change was a problem why is China allowed to keep building new coal power plants? Wake up, the Chinese fund climate wokism to hamstring the American economy. .........Common sense is not all that common.
@Gaboon Viper why wait for governments to make laws? That's the only power they have. People have the power to actually do something about it, even if it means doing it one by one.
All these 65 year old boomers worried about how to retire and survive on $100,000 a year from the 401(k)s they were the last generation to have access to and I suddenly realize my retirement plan is to die in the Climate Wars…
Yes, there is a huge feeling of guilt with the idea of bringing a child forth into a world where food and water availability can be affected. Very scary, I have a lot of friends who agree
“Three quarters of people ages 16-25 feel the future is frightening” As someone in that demographic, I can confirm that there’s an exceptional amount of hopelessness and fear. Since we were able to understand language we’ve been lectured about climate change and the world going to be destroyed. It’s like some folks didn’t think that’d mess us up- I mean- to be told your death will most likely be due to climate change, that you’ll loose the beautiful sky, that you may never be able to raise kids into a happy life.. no wonder suicide rates are skyrocketing.
@Firenuts 6969 Ok, but surely you’re still more scared of climate change itself, rather than the very slim possibility it is used to advance authoritarianism? Besides, climate change can’t be reversed once it happens, but authoritarian governments can be toppled.
@@island97 I’m going to guess they’re referring to the effects of climate change rather than climate change itself. The climate has changed over the Earths history, and eventually, in a few hundred thousand years give or take, it will right itself. Hopefully. But, you can’t bring back species driven to extinction, forests cut down for lumber, or people and cities lost to climate-change related causes. The effects won’t be reversed in our lifetime, though.
The young aren't scared. They are depressed. They live in a world were they can get shot at school and the adults won't do anything. It is dispair. The realization that the people tasked with protecting them won't do it and then tell them it is up to them to fix it.
This :/ I’ve seen some comments here saying “the young don’t care” or whatever but it’s not that we don’t care, it’s that we’re depressed and despaired and all we can do is cope with it in ways that older generations deem inappropriate, since they aren’t doing anything to help and we don’t yet have the power to change what needs to be changed
U know our grandparents used to get drafted to war without question right? Their mothers had no rights. And segregation was a thing. Today we can show our tits and dick's on our phones for money.. and we have obese homeless people. everything is fine
Shot at school? You are far more likely to get shot on the streets of Chicago than any school out there. This is indisputable, as per FBI statistics. So don't give me that school is so dangerous because of mass shooters. I grew up in a rural school where everyone carried guns in their vehicles and nobody ever got shot in our schools. An FBI report on new West Virginia gun laws becoming more lax actually showed that crime went down. It's not a gun problem, it's a respect and responsibility problem. Failed Democrat policies. The worst gun violence is indisputably in Democrat run areas. People need to be taught to care about and respect each other and their community.
@A P we didn't have Confederate flags. We had people of all races who respected each other. You weak minded Democrats are full of hate. I feel pity for you. Going up we loved and respected our neighbors and were willing to help them even if we disagreed. Your hatred seems to be holding back progress. Let some love in, maybe you'll learn to love and understand other people. This country has no room for divisiveness or anger.
@@1979genius Alabama has one of the highest rates of firearm homicides per 100,000 population. Let's not dumb down the issue into "hurr durr Republicans are good Dems are bad."
Gods, we're so stupid. We have the technology, methodology, and resources to fix this, but instead we have to wait for people who don't care to suddenly gain some sense of responsibility. So stupid. And so screwed.
The U.S. is most responsible for this crisis because it has pumped out far more greenhouse gases than any other country over the decades. But the moronic response of about half of Americans to the coronavirus pandemic shows that the country is totally incapable of dealing responsibly even with something like imminent death let alone something as abstract as a planet about to boil over. So, yes, the human species really is screwed. There are just too many mental defectives among us, and they've all been given the ability to consume.
My husband and I are 72 and 73. We have had solar for 20 years. Our yearly electric bill is about $11. We bought a used Chevy Volt (gas/electric). We only had to buy one tank of gas last year. We have no kids or grandkids, but we do care about the planet. We are now trying to figure out how to install 2,500 gallon rain water harvest tanks in our yard.
One, I'm sorely disappointed in my fellow boomers that they seem to be just fine with passing a HUGE mess along to the younger generation. No one can just wave a wand and make global warming disappear -- it takes a lot of personal responsibility! I'm 68 and my heart breaks every day for what mankind is doing to this planet, and I do all I personally can to keep my carbon footprint as small as possible. Second, I looked into vegan diets for pets. You can switch dogs to vegan, but cats need meat protein of some kind. Maybe insects will be the ticket. But we can't just sit back and wait for our governments to do the right thing. We have to take personal responsibility and push our legislators very hard. Obviously the percentages Steven gave of the congressmen and senators who don't believe in human-caused climate change -- clearly ALL GOP!
All these 65 year old boomers worried about how to retire and survive on $100,000 a year from the 401(k)s they were the last generation to have access to and I suddenly realize my retirement plan is to die in the Climate Wars…
Also, 100 companies are responsible for over 70% of carbon emissions. Stop feeling responsible for your carbon footprint. They literally conspired together to shift the burden onto the public to steer attention and responsibility away from themselves. Enjoy retirement. You’re the last generation that will ever get to. (But seriously, take care). ❤️
@@Dr.Magic. I actually am living in poverty. I will never own a home. I will never get a job that pays enough or even offers benefits. And no matter my pay scale Student Loans will probably haunt me until I die.
To paraphrase George Carlin: The earth is just fine. It's we who are *ucked-up. When this planet has had enough of us, it'll just flick us off like an annoying bug and start all over again.
Senate should have oversight for conflict of interest and corruption. It's not about age, you can find brainbleached rightwing teens with more money than they can eat - and they will surely be in support of laws to give them more money.
Well, there are. Once they are dead, the limit is up. I think, i am not sure anymore. Were was that dead pimp few years ago elected, Nevada or Arizona, some of the near desert states...
@@roberthorner744 and hence the manipulation, the jerry meandering, the submission to lobbyists to get donations and such. No point of allowing endless cycle of electing officials like Cruz to the end of their natural lives
Yes! Term limits would have gotten rid of Moscow Mitch a loooong time ago. I know ky is a red state, but only gerrymandering and other tricks could have kept someone with such low approval ratings in office
@@jeremysmith9694 Nope. It's happening. They move the goal post because they are filthy and greedy. Oil & gas, animal agriculture, commercial fishing ... all need to end decades ago.
I bought a cheap car in the same neighborhood my brother lives in, I parked the car at his house for safe keeping and forgot to shut off the running lights. His white neighbors called the cops because there was a mystery car next door with the lights on and nobody inside.
Grow Cannabis Sativa outside in the sun and use that for food, fuel, fiber, medicine, paper and plastic to reduce pollution, replace fossil fuels, end deforestation and stop climate change. Watch the 1942 USDA film *Hemp For Victory* to learn how to grow Cannabis Sativa outside in the sun.
@@Marijuanifornia Cannabis ruderalis is a much hardier sub-species, loaded with CBD's, does contain THC, and will grow pretty much anywhere. With the climate change coming and our elimination of polinators, you'll need the autoflowering feature ruderalis has.
It's why you build your underground bunker on high ground - nothing says the 'underground bunker' has to be at what most of us would think of as ground level, it could be halfway up a hill or mountain where it won't flood. Though I suppose at that point it seems less 'Doomsday Bunker' and more 'Villains Lair'.
When you..."let"? You know what happens if you attempt to control those "idiots"? You imprisoned or murder 10's-100's of millions of human beings. So unless you aspire to be the next Hitler or Stalin, put that pitchfork down, and be a bit more compassionate and let's try educating the PEOPLE who might not know better. Unless you think our prison population is just too dang small. Please
@@lancenicholas8520 or, hear me out, we work toward competent leadership and stop letting the assholes with the most money run our country? Anybody in a position to make a change knows better, they’d just rather profit from it than do the right thing. I know it sounds unrealistic and that’s because we live in a country that literally runs on greed and fucking each other over, but it’s possible. So you can put your pitchfork down and chill out on calling people like me the next hitler 🤌🏽
@@lancenicholas8520 Hmm kill 10s or 100s of millions of idiots who kills us all, or let 14. billion die? Not a hard choise. I do agree on educating them first, but if that fails. 👹
I'm 66 and I'm very concerned about climate change. I have for several years. I don't have any kids (don't regret that!), but I'm more concerned about the future than most people I know with children. And I've yet to talk to any teens who seem to care at all about climate change. But maybe that's because I tend to avoid talking to them.
Bless your heart, you've swallowed the propaganda. Did you know that "climate change" is just an agenda created by wealthy folks to limit, and control the rest of us? Look up the "Club of Rome" and "Limits to human growth".
I've been noticing that with teens also (I have one of my own) but I've come to the conclusion it's not that they don't care but they already feel hopeless about it, so they're just trying to keep busy with their social lives and make the best of things while they can. Please don't mistake their apparent apathy for lack of understanding; Gen Z is smarter than they're getting credit for.
It's definitely not a lack of care. It's a lack of hope. We've fallen into despair because we know we're screwed due to most of the politicians being bought and paid for by the fossil fuel companies.
Help make the 1942 USDA film *Hemp For Victory* finally go viral so that Cannabis prohibition ends and industrial hemp can replace fossil fuels and end deforestation to stop climate change and save the world for future generations like it did when the video was first made.
@@bobcatblues7766 I know exactly what you mean. I guess I qualify as old, too. And it looks hopeless as greed and apathy seem to be making the decisions. In a way I'm glad I have no kids, or grandchildren.
The good news is that the paint is so white it will lower the Earth's temperature two degrees Celsius when applied to all roads, vehicles, and structures. The bad news is that producing that amount of paint so white will raise the Earth's temperature four degrees Celsius.
The good news is man-made catastrophic global warming is a scam. The bad news is they plan on controlling everything you do in the future. You're paying the price already.
@@darkmath100 he was just laughing about a joke dude... what are you doing here all riled up about nothing? the shit people get offended by is contknually baffling, get some exercise.
Sadly, yes. Our federal government is absurdly old. And our state and local governments aren't much younger. Part of the problem is a lot of them have made politics a career instead of a period in their lives to serve the community/country and move on. That, combined with a lot of young people not running for office because they don't feel like they'll make a difference, has left us with an above average Senatorial chamber. Hell, even our Speaker of the House is 81, so the House of Representatives isn't much better. But I like to think people like AOC, Rashida Tlaib, and others are inspiring more young people to run for office.
@@candacen7779 All of this. There are also tons of reasons the same candidates seemingly always win their house/senate seats. The incumbency rate has averaged 75-90% for the past 2-3 decades alone. Those in office have every advantage to win as long as they do the bare minimum to edge out opponents who typically have less coverage, momentum, or resources to mount a meaningful challenge. Campaign reform of multiple kinds would do wonders...but good luck getting those in power to change the rules that have GIVEN and MAINTAINED their power. We're fucked, essentially.
Stephen you went for the TRUTH today, thank you and the whole staff/team (and your families/support networks) for using your platform in this way, and using comedy to help people hold hard truths honestly. Blessings to y'all!
I wonder if maybe Norm would be jealous that we all made it to the rapture - while he was distracted with his death thing. Rest in Blissful Peace Norm Macdonald
Fun fact: English used to have a character called “thorn” (Þ, þ) and when the printing press was made a Y was used as the replacement. So whenever you see “Ye old pub” etc - it is suppose to mean “The old pub”.
"This paint is so white...it's watching this show right now!" Not every day a host makes fun of himself and his likely audience (I'm white!) at the same time! 😁
To be honest, at nearly 60, I will probably be dead before it impacts my life too badly - I just have this odd quirk of caring about the people who will still be living, and the ones currently in hard hit areas. Still, I could easily have 25 or maybe 30 years left - it could get pretty bad before then. Not that it isn't now.
@@pdoylemi Don't be so sure it won't affect you. You could be killed or injured any day by any number of natural disasters going on. Tornados, earthquakes, hurricanes, fires, floods....
It is not the number on the calendar that counts. I would rather Bernies thinking than Cruz on every issue I have heard Cruz speak. This is in spite of the nearly 40 years difference in birthdate.
I participated in the first sitting for the clean air act back in the '60s, and I have been green even before it was a green movement. It hurts that in 60 years, we have achieved nothing and that we are doing worse and at a more rapid speed than anticipated. Soon we will all be living in a Mad Max movie, and still people refuse to acknowledge it. It is depressing to see the abundant ignorance in the world.
While absolutely agreeing that it is maddening seeing so many people in denial or becoming numb because they think there is no hope, please watch "Undecided" with Matt Ferrell and many other RUclips programs concerning tackling climate change. It may give you hope as you see people do care and are trying their best to come up with many solutions and not just waiting on governments.
Sorry but you're the ignorant one. CO2 is plant food, not pollution and CO2 caused man-made catastrophic global warming is impossible when CO2 doesn't control the temperature of Earth and we live deep deep within an ice age. Go look. Search : "Global temperature and atmospheric CO2 over geologic time/graph/images" by Scotese and Berner.
@@Mesterjakel7 no, just no. That's called animal cruelty. Eat whatever you want but it's not OK to force your dog to go on whatever diet you decide you want to try next.
@@Mesterjakel7 you do know that insects convert about 1.1kg of their feed matter, which can be basically anything, like food scraps, into 1.0kg of their own body, with 95% of which is edible, compared to the very low efficiency of vertebrates...? You do know that, right? Or did you just want to feel special for pointing out a half-assed bullet point?
SOMETHING is happening. I haven't seen a single bumble bee, red or blue birds in my back yard, as I saw years ago. our bayous rarely have crayfish or turtles as I saw years ago. I'm in Houston. Hurricane used to hit every so often. NOW, they all go to Louisiana or Florida, DIFFERENT from years ago
Harvey and Imelda weren't that long ago. The main difference was that Harvey was a Cat 4 which we rarely see, so I certainly have concerns about severity, but it isn't like we aren't still a target...hell, Nicholas was only about two weeks ago.
I used to go on road trips as a kid. Bout 20 years ago. Window would be so splattered with bugs you coulsnt see. Now i said to my husband the kther day, holy shit a bug hit the window i havnt seen that in years ... So .. Yea
When ya think about it. Climate change has been in discussion for decades. The senators and representatives and anyone else in charge should’ve grown up concerned. So youre right, it’s absolutely not about age.
I remember in 1964 my fourth grade teacher told us about the Greenhouse Effect and how the world was warming up. I was terrified and have tried to live my life with as little impact on the planet as possible. I never had air conditioning or used a clothes dryer. I don't know any young people who live like that so it bothers me when comedians make fun of us clueless old folk, especially when I see how they live. Still grateful for them for bringing attention to the issue!
And we can point fingers at each other for the next several decades while Florida slowly submerges, and wild fires continue to fill skies with smoke, and while Pakistan and India arm their nuclear weapons for war...
grasslands actually sequester more carbon than rainforests. 0.5% of America's native grasslands remain! What percentage of Brazil's rainforests remain again? more than 0.5% isn't it!
I highly recommend "Hoimar von Ditfurth - Der Ast auf dem wir sitzen". It´s very informative, it´s from 1978, and it nails it down to the last bit. So, it´s not as if we couldn´t have known in time. ruclips.net/video/6W2cL7Vop88/видео.html ruclips.net/video/eFS9Av_slck/видео.html
My cat catches flies in her mouth by the window then jumps down goes to the mid of the room opens her mouth and out it comes, just so she can do it again. Funniest thing ever! =)
My Mini Pinscher puppy stuffed herself with cicadas during last summer's Brood X emergence. Now she expects every insect she sees to taste like cicadas. She's continually disappointed.
@@paintedpony2935 How does one stop using plastic? It is capping the mountains. It's in the air, water, and soil. I plant trees all year. Hasn't stopped humanity from accelerating its own demise.
@@knoton3747 Doesn't mean you just give up and throw your hands in the air. Everything you just said is more reason to be using less and less plastic everyday.
@@J.5.M. you gotta learn to read. Individually you can do very little to help the climate. The reality is that most of it needs to be collective action. Regulations on Large scale logistics, industries, etc are the only way to get anything of value done.
This paint is so white, it has a daughter named Ivanka. This paint is so white, Trump allows it to live in his housing developments. This paint is so white, Marjorie Taylor Green keeps trying to sell guns to it.
OK, I'll admit it. I thought Colbert was done after the low hanging fruit of Dump but, NOPE!, he's just as good now!! Well done, Sir! P.S. This note is probably more to his writers than to Colbert. :)
When I worked at a grocery store, people kept assuming I was vegetarian. I hadn't even realized that I'd quit eating meat because it was so gross coming across the counter
@@emmakaplan7508 I want animals to be treated kindly and I wish there was a way to slaughter them the day before their natural death but it's just not possible and I need meat in my diet and so do other carnivores. I also don't like the government pushing veganism on me over a global warming scam centuries old.
I love me a juicy steak. But I love my children and my planet more, and that's why I only eat steak once every few weeks. That goes for burgers and the like too. I don't want people telling me what I can and cannot eat, so I act as responsibly as I can.
Decades ago the Canadian scientist David Suzuki, responding to deniers who said global warming scientists were like "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" pointed out the story ended when THE WOLF CAME!
On the flip side, digging up raw barite ore to produce and process the barium sulphite that makes up nearly 60% of the paint means it has a huge carbon footprint.
Nancy Pelosis two $24,000 refrigerators do to. They are big enough to house a couple Haitian families. Can you imagine how much energy they use? She and her propagandist pal (or "cock holster, if you will), Steven Colbert, are down with their "carbon footprints," because they are better than you. Just ask them.
There's no better way to start one's day than with good old Stephen Colbert and his transcendent writing team. It sure is a shame that were all doomed.
Don't forget that the volcano on Las Palmas has erupted again, which causes one side of the mountain to slide further towards the sea....ask me what that means, or look it up.
As soon as Stephen said, "This paint is so white,"I chimed in from my rocker recliner with, "How white is it?" hoping the audience would also chime in. And then he straightens his tie, does the hands-behind-the-back pose and swings the invisible golf club. Oh, how I miss Johnny Carson.
My husband is 90 years old and I am 75 years old. We are extremely aware and concerned about our environment and climate. We live accordingly. We care about the future for all creatures.
And there are many others who do the same, these jokes making fun of 'old people' are boring and stale.
Sorry to tell you this but man-made catastrophic global warming is just a scam being used to push politics on us. It's called Agenda 21 and it's going to ruin everyone's future.
@@ishaemail5814 Yeah.. you could say they are gettting old.
The jokes aren’t about you though. It’s about the large statistical portion of the over 65s who either don’t believe or don’t care… a portion that is also over represented in positions of power. People under 65 also have deniers, but a quarter is easier to deal with than half. He could have also tried to mobilized more young people to run for government and actually vote, which younger people statistically fail to do in higher numbers contributing to this problem. Another big issue that could resolve the imbalance of power and the government not reflecting the actual demographics of the country is to make sure everyone has equal voting access. Impoverished people and POC of all age groups are more likely to suffer from climate change problems, so they tend to care more… but if they can’t vote…
@@la_belle_heaulmiere You should get the facts because you're perpetuating a lie that costs lives every day.
Fellow Charlsetonian here, I about died hearing Stephen say psgetti! That's something me and my family have always said and people look at me like I'm crazy (especially since I work in an Italian restaurant). You honestly brought me home and made me smile like someone who could actually be carefree in this crazy time. Thank you and your crew for all that you do!
So, are you ready to switch out your psgetti for something using fake meat, and probably fake tomatoes and pasta as well?
I don’t think it’s a regional thing, though. I think it’s just something people everywhere in the U.S. say to be goofy or because they’re, y’know... kindergarteners.
Actually, it's something people all over the English speaking world say! The same as many other words which people deliberately mispronounce for the fun of it. For example, 'veginegar' instead of vinegar. 😁
@@wilb6657 Meat in itself isn't the problem, it's the commercial meat industry. Frankly, if we went back to smaller family farms and raised maybe 10% less beef we'd be better off.
I will never go vegan or vegetarian, death is the only option.
@@wilb6657 Better than a fire hurricane.
The "How white is it?" response from the crowd really helped sell that series of jokes.
Took 'em long enough, though.
Reminds me of a game show way back in the 1970s, LOL! Great memories!
That was great! I thought that whole series of jokes was killing it!
Yay race jokes still funny... I think
Perfect! How white is it???!!!!
"This paint is so white, he called the cops on all the other paints. This paint is so white, those cops called him 'sir'."
Chef's kiss. Beautiful.
Definitely the best lines
They deserved that Emmy!
Hilarious but also depressingly apt to our current reality of an out of control police state that serves one and only master while oppressing all others.
@Just Send Do you mean “all paints matter?” 😂
@@ratty5 No it means "Paints of Color" (POC) Matter! {Not my line}
The scariest thing for me, living in Wyoming, is seeing everything happening around the world and having to go to work everyday to keep my mouth shut or face the anger and ridicule for contesting what's really going on.
How do we hold people accountable for their words. The worst thing about this is in Wyoming I was raised that your word is who you are. How can we be raised with those values and still lie to those that we are supposed to serve.
It's not just one state.
And keep living your values. The tiniest action is worth more than the biggest word, anyway.
👍😎
I feel this in my soul. You're not alone. I had to have dental work after I got my second vaccine shot. I'm in the great, by which I mean awful, state of Missouri and I'm surrounded by idiots. Just before the dental nurse took a look in my mouth she decided that was a good time to tell me she's a Trump supporter. What do you do? Get up and walk out? And go where? Only 37% of this county is vaccinated. That number has risen 2% in 4 months. So climate change? Ha. Not bloody likely. These people aren't going to believe in climate change until they've got beach front property. And then, they'll likely praise Trump when they can sell it for a nice paycheck and enter retirement.
Thank God for the internet? I mean it's a double-edged sword but I'm thankful I know there are more people out there who aren't like this.
It´s called capitalism.
So a person who was going to help you take care of your teeth mentioned that they liked the ex president and you wanted to get up and leave, why? Did it scare you, anger you? what a brittle and narrow mindset that is to have to carry around, it must be tiring. You do realize that you took "Trumps" vaccine, he was president when it was being developed, just because Biden won doesn't mean they switched all the chemicals after the election..
@@joedominguez9437, I don't want to be around Trump supporters because they're anti-mask and the nurse had just gotten finished telling me she and her daughter don't wear masks. Considering I have MS and am at high risk, getting coronavirus is not high on my list of things to do. But way to turn this into a claim of prejudice. When your activities don't put my health at risk, then do whatever you like.
“This paint is so white!”
- That even Mike Pence has to wear sunglasses! 😆
There was effort on this thirty years ago. The problem: everything gets dirty. The great results are gone in a couple of weeks.
Good point
I'd like to have heard a lot more of those jokes.
@@marshwetland3808 ”This paint is so white!”
- That white fundamentalists just ordered 200 buckets on wholesale!
Too much? 😅
I was waiting for a Pence joke lol
Have the Colbert writers gotten better since the Emmy? The last couple of shows have been particularly stellar. . .
I would love to sit in on one of their writing sessions. It must be a blast.
@Jason James : I know I should not respond to trolls, your account was created less than a month ago, but you seem staunchly in favor of Coco-Puffs. And to belabor the metaphor, Fruit Loops as well.
@@Ghost-uf4ds : Agreed. Imagine all the stuff that they could not air. . . Wow. The mind boggles. . . I think a lot of the stuff that they can't use on the main show they use on Tooning Out the News. . . Just a hunch.
Glad you like being lied to so much. Too bad it's a century old scare story. : The Washington Post - November 2, 1922 "REPORT ON GLOBAL WARMING."
To quote Bruce Wayne, "Humanity keeps acting like there's a snooze button on the Doomsday Clock."
We are in trouble
What issue is this?
Do these people realize that all their money won't save them?
Correct. Most of humanity is batshit crazy. I need something bigger than a 10ft pole.
Isn't he really Batman? 😎
remember: your call them flies, your pet calls them sky raisins.
lol yup :) and all pets too! My lorikeets (nectar eaters) can't stop snapping at the flies anytime one manages to find it's way into their cage. I mean they're yet to catch one & I'd be super impressed if they did, given their beak is only as big as the fly, but hey, they try
@@mehere8038 the thing i get a laugh out of is when you see free range eggs from chickens on a vegan diet. I mean, guess what free range chickens eat.
@@kenbrown2808 you're not suggesting sky raisins aren't vegan are you? ;)
I've never actually heard the term sky raisins before this video (but it's everywhere in the comments here). I think it's a different country thing, but to me it sounds like something a new age vegan would make up lol
@@mehere8038 nope, it's totally a dog meme.
@@kenbrown2808 ah ok, will have to look it up :)
Leave the scary news to Stephen Colbert for he won’t just panic with you he will ensure you go out laughing and having a good time.
Gosh this climate change is scary but I really we can turn the tables and win in this situation. Majority of us want to live.
Love you Stephen. Keep up the great work my man.
nope, we can't.. majority of us want to eat burgers, drive cars and take planes to reach faraway beaches.. the others just want to make money.. capitalism is forever, my friend.
@@johnentwistle952 fair enough buddy. You speak true. I’m just looking out for my fellow humanity.
The majority of us don't have power haha. I still feel depressed 😂
Oh Scott, you are such a lay down. If climate change was a problem why is China allowed to keep building new coal power plants? Wake up, the Chinese fund climate wokism to hamstring the American economy. .........Common sense is not all that common.
@Gaboon Viper why wait for governments to make laws? That's the only power they have. People have the power to actually do something about it, even if it means doing it one by one.
Young people I've talked to don't want to have kids because of the situation the world is facing.
Dems would burn the world down before they were 5. Good call.
Young people I've talk to don't want to have kids because they don't want to be tied down or have the responsibility, financial or otherwise
They've been well trained.
All these 65 year old boomers worried about how to retire and survive on $100,000 a year from the 401(k)s they were the last generation to have access to and I suddenly realize my retirement plan is to die in the Climate Wars…
Yes, there is a huge feeling of guilt with the idea of bringing a child forth into a world where food and water availability can be affected. Very scary, I have a lot of friends who agree
“Three quarters of people ages 16-25 feel the future is frightening”
As someone in that demographic, I can confirm that there’s an exceptional amount of hopelessness and fear. Since we were able to understand language we’ve been lectured about climate change and the world going to be destroyed. It’s like some folks didn’t think that’d mess us up- I mean- to be told your death will most likely be due to climate change, that you’ll loose the beautiful sky, that you may never be able to raise kids into a happy life.. no wonder suicide rates are skyrocketing.
That was so wrong. They should have said we can solve this and here is the 100 ways to do it.
@Firenuts 6969
Ok, but surely you’re still more scared of climate change itself, rather than the very slim possibility it is used to advance authoritarianism? Besides, climate change can’t be reversed once it happens, but authoritarian governments can be toppled.
@@hali37363 "climate change can't be reversed " when exactly has the climate not been changing in the history of the world ?
As an older person, I've been wondering how any young people can bring kids into the world now. I'd be afraid of what I was bringing them into.
@@island97 I’m going to guess they’re referring to the effects of climate change rather than climate change itself. The climate has changed over the Earths history, and eventually, in a few hundred thousand years give or take, it will right itself. Hopefully. But, you can’t bring back species driven to extinction, forests cut down for lumber, or people and cities lost to climate-change related causes. The effects won’t be reversed in our lifetime, though.
The young aren't scared. They are depressed. They live in a world were they can get shot at school and the adults won't do anything. It is dispair. The realization that the people tasked with protecting them won't do it and then tell them it is up to them to fix it.
This :/ I’ve seen some comments here saying “the young don’t care” or whatever but it’s not that we don’t care, it’s that we’re depressed and despaired and all we can do is cope with it in ways that older generations deem inappropriate, since they aren’t doing anything to help and we don’t yet have the power to change what needs to be changed
U know our grandparents used to get drafted to war without question right? Their mothers had no rights. And segregation was a thing. Today we can show our tits and dick's on our phones for money.. and we have obese homeless people. everything is fine
Shot at school? You are far more likely to get shot on the streets of Chicago than any school out there. This is indisputable, as per FBI statistics. So don't give me that school is so dangerous because of mass shooters. I grew up in a rural school where everyone carried guns in their vehicles and nobody ever got shot in our schools. An FBI report on new West Virginia gun laws becoming more lax actually showed that crime went down. It's not a gun problem, it's a respect and responsibility problem. Failed Democrat policies. The worst gun violence is indisputably in Democrat run areas. People need to be taught to care about and respect each other and their community.
@A P we didn't have Confederate flags. We had people of all races who respected each other. You weak minded Democrats are full of hate. I feel pity for you. Going up we loved and respected our neighbors and were willing to help them even if we disagreed. Your hatred seems to be holding back progress. Let some love in, maybe you'll learn to love and understand other people. This country has no room for divisiveness or anger.
@@1979genius Alabama has one of the highest rates of firearm homicides per 100,000 population. Let's not dumb down the issue into "hurr durr Republicans are good Dems are bad."
Gods, we're so stupid. We have the technology, methodology, and resources to fix this, but instead we have to wait for people who don't care to suddenly gain some sense of responsibility. So stupid. And so screwed.
You have no idea what you're talking about
The U.S. is most responsible for this crisis because it has pumped out far more greenhouse gases than any other country over the decades. But the moronic response of about half of Americans to the coronavirus pandemic shows that the country is totally incapable of dealing responsibly even with something like imminent death let alone something as abstract as a planet about to boil over. So, yes, the human species really is screwed. There are just too many mental defectives among us, and they've all been given the ability to consume.
My husband and I are 72 and 73. We have had solar for 20 years. Our yearly electric bill is about $11. We bought a used Chevy Volt (gas/electric). We only had to buy one tank of gas last year. We have no kids or grandkids, but we do care about the planet. We are now trying to figure out how to install 2,500 gallon rain water harvest tanks in our yard.
We don't have to wait. We're just not doing what needs to be done.
@Jason James shit, dude. Trees are carbon-eating. Probably should stop cutting em down and letting them burn.
I need a whole 12 minute video of the “This Paint is so white” bit
One, I'm sorely disappointed in my fellow boomers that they seem to be just fine with passing a HUGE mess along to the younger generation. No one can just wave a wand and make global warming disappear -- it takes a lot of personal responsibility! I'm 68 and my heart breaks every day for what mankind is doing to this planet, and I do all I personally can to keep my carbon footprint as small as possible. Second, I looked into vegan diets for pets. You can switch dogs to vegan, but cats need meat protein of some kind. Maybe insects will be the ticket. But we can't just sit back and wait for our governments to do the right thing. We have to take personal responsibility and push our legislators very hard. Obviously the percentages Steven gave of the congressmen and senators who don't believe in human-caused climate change -- clearly ALL GOP!
My grandmother regularly apologized for the world she was leaving us.
All these 65 year old boomers worried about how to retire and survive on $100,000 a year from the 401(k)s they were the last generation to have access to and I suddenly realize my retirement plan is to die in the Climate Wars…
@@Dr.Magic. don't worry. I'm sure Nestlé will be happy to ration you a bottle of water per day. Thank you for your service.
Also, 100 companies are responsible for over 70% of carbon emissions. Stop feeling responsible for your carbon footprint. They literally conspired together to shift the burden onto the public to steer attention and responsibility away from themselves. Enjoy retirement. You’re the last generation that will ever get to. (But seriously, take care). ❤️
@@Dr.Magic. I actually am living in poverty. I will never own a home. I will never get a job that pays enough or even offers benefits. And no matter my pay scale Student Loans will probably haunt me until I die.
To paraphrase George Carlin: The earth is just fine. It's we who are *ucked-up. When this planet has had enough of us, it'll just flick us off like an annoying bug and start all over again.
"Pack your sh*t, folks. We're going away."
It will not start over again, in will burn up and all the water will disappear, like on Mercury.
@@donniemoder1466 lmfao ok
@@donniemoder1466 Humans will disappear before the water disappears. And then there may be no life at all.
@@donniemoder1466 The earth has warmed before just not this fast. I like George Carlin's theory better.
It’s crazy how you can’t say “shit” on late nite TV, but it’s semi-acceptable to have shit in our water.
As long as it’s not over the airwaves we can have all the poop we can handle.
To be fair, it was actually WATERS, not WATER like Stephen said. IE lakes, rivers, not pipes.
Not acceptable at all. NY better fix their water plants .
If you haven't already, please read about the SCOTUS case _County of Maui vs. Hawai'i Wildlife Fund._
Yet is perfectly at home in your brain...huh?...and not unexpected at all.
Senate should have term limits, these members are very comfortable where they are
Senate should have oversight for conflict of interest and corruption. It's not about age, you can find brainbleached rightwing teens with more money than they can eat - and they will surely be in support of laws to give them more money.
Well, there are. Once they are dead, the limit is up. I think, i am not sure anymore. Were was that dead pimp few years ago elected, Nevada or Arizona, some of the near desert states...
The Senate does have term limits, They're called "elections." You lose one your term is over.
@@roberthorner744 and hence the manipulation, the jerry meandering, the submission to lobbyists to get donations and such. No point of allowing endless cycle of electing officials like Cruz to the end of their natural lives
Yes! Term limits would have gotten rid of Moscow Mitch a loooong time ago. I know ky is a red state, but only gerrymandering and other tricks could have kept someone with such low approval ratings in office
Good to see the late night comics addressing climate change. Unfortunately, we are in the second inning of what will be a long nightmare.
I was wondering about that myself. Didnt we pass a few no return points already?
@@X7Excalibur of course. They move the goal posts every twenty years when they realize none of their predictions came true.
We're in the end game now.
Too bad they don’t address the disaster at the border! 100k plus humans we will be flicking the bill for. The moron Kamala is a waste!
@@jeremysmith9694 Nope. It's happening. They move the goal post because they are filthy and greedy. Oil & gas, animal agriculture, commercial fishing ... all need to end decades ago.
Whoever wrote "This paint is so white, it just called the cops on all the other paint" should get a raise.
It called the cops on all the POCs: Paints of Color
I bought a cheap car in the same neighborhood my brother lives in, I parked the car at his house for safe keeping and forgot to shut off the running lights. His white neighbors called the cops because there was a mystery car next door with the lights on and nobody inside.
@@jchou17 LoL Jason - I think you won the Internet (for me) this hour. :-)
Bender: “Our world is doomed!”
Two Benders in unison: “Dooooooooooooomed!”
Now I'm imagining two Judd Nelsons yelling "Doomed" in the middle of a football field
Retro but good
Just bring Futurama back so I have something to watch while the world burns
Grow Cannabis Sativa outside in the sun and use that for food, fuel, fiber, medicine, paper and plastic to reduce pollution, replace fossil fuels, end deforestation and stop climate change.
Watch the 1942 USDA film *Hemp For Victory* to learn how to grow Cannabis Sativa outside in the sun.
@@Marijuanifornia Cannabis ruderalis is a much hardier sub-species, loaded with CBD's, does contain THC, and will grow pretty much anywhere. With the climate change coming and our elimination of polinators, you'll need the autoflowering feature ruderalis has.
Everyone always talks about underground bunkers during the apocalypse, but everything's getting flooded
Artifact of the cold war
It's all about good sealant. Try home hardware. :)
Well...... All they have to do is turn on their electrically powered bilge pumps................. Oh waIT!!!!! : O
Is it? I believe these are pretty regional issues.
It's why you build your underground bunker on high ground - nothing says the 'underground bunker' has to be at what most of us would think of as ground level, it could be halfway up a hill or mountain where it won't flood. Though I suppose at that point it seems less 'Doomsday Bunker' and more 'Villains Lair'.
"Locally grown and sustainably sourced couch cushions. " awww Benny.
A global scam.
This is what happens when you “let idiots be idiots” it ends up affecting everyone one way or another.
When you..."let"? You know what happens if you attempt to control those "idiots"? You imprisoned or murder 10's-100's of millions of human beings. So unless you aspire to be the next Hitler or Stalin, put that pitchfork down, and be a bit more compassionate and let's try educating the PEOPLE who might not know better. Unless you think our prison population is just too dang small. Please
@@lancenicholas8520 who are you mad at? Lol 😂
@@lancenicholas8520 or, hear me out, we work toward competent leadership and stop letting the assholes with the most money run our country? Anybody in a position to make a change knows better, they’d just rather profit from it than do the right thing. I know it sounds unrealistic and that’s because we live in a country that literally runs on greed and fucking each other over, but it’s possible. So you can put your pitchfork down and chill out on calling people like me the next hitler 🤌🏽
@@mythicpeyote hey you are the one who voted Biden in as president 👏 a rich politician who has done what
@@lancenicholas8520 Hmm kill 10s or 100s of millions of idiots who kills us all, or let 14. billion die?
Not a hard choise.
I do agree on educating them first, but if that fails. 👹
I'm 66 and I'm very concerned about climate change. I have for several years. I don't have any kids (don't regret that!), but I'm more concerned about the future than most people I know with children. And I've yet to talk to any teens who seem to care at all about climate change. But maybe that's because I tend to avoid talking to them.
Bless your heart, you've swallowed the propaganda. Did you know that "climate change" is just an agenda created by wealthy folks to limit, and control the rest of us? Look up the "Club of Rome" and "Limits to human growth".
I've been noticing that with teens also (I have one of my own) but I've come to the conclusion it's not that they don't care but they already feel hopeless about it, so they're just trying to keep busy with their social lives and make the best of things while they can. Please don't mistake their apparent apathy for lack of understanding; Gen Z is smarter than they're getting credit for.
Talking to teens?How,they spend all day online,and only notice something if it's on TikTok,but only for a minute before they lose interest.
It's definitely not a lack of care. It's a lack of hope. We've fallen into despair because we know we're screwed due to most of the politicians being bought and paid for by the fossil fuel companies.
Help make the 1942 USDA film *Hemp For Victory* finally go viral so that Cannabis prohibition ends and industrial hemp can replace fossil fuels and end deforestation to stop climate change and save the world for future generations like it did when the video was first made.
Bernie Sanders is an old guy but he's definitely concerned about climate change.
@@bobcatblues7766 I know exactly what you mean. I guess I qualify as old, too. And it looks hopeless as greed and apathy seem to be making the decisions. In a way I'm glad I have no kids, or grandchildren.
The only one..
Aw…that final audience shot needed a bemittened Bernie Sanders
Hey, Bernie's just trying to not make the same mistake as Harding. 😆
Bemittened Bernie is my favorite meme.
Bemittened is now one of my favorite words.
That would have been perfect, 😂!
One communist traitor pushing a global scam is enough.
The good news is that the paint is so white it will lower the Earth's temperature two degrees Celsius when applied to all roads, vehicles, and structures. The bad news is that producing that amount of paint so white will raise the Earth's temperature four degrees Celsius.
So net 2°. Not quite enough…
And we’ll all go snow blind, esp the birds. I’m putting my money on green roofing.
Doh!
The good news is man-made catastrophic global warming is a scam. The bad news is they plan on controlling everything you do in the future. You're paying the price already.
"Meat ! Tastes so good you'll never picture the animals face " , also all those white paint jokes 😂🤣👏
You realize the entire point of evolution is pretty much to find the best meat eaters right Simon? It's been this way for how long? A billion years?
@@darkmath100 he was just laughing about a joke dude... what are you doing here all riled up about nothing?
the shit people get offended by is contknually baffling, get some exercise.
@@operationgnp I'm just amazed the triggered, offended vegans haven't made it into this comment yet!
Used to mask his lies about the climate.
I’m vegan and I thought is was funny. Like dark funny.
As non-american, I'm shocked and can’t believe my eyes
Senator's average age is 64???
Sadly, yes. Our federal government is absurdly old. And our state and local governments aren't much younger. Part of the problem is a lot of them have made politics a career instead of a period in their lives to serve the community/country and move on. That, combined with a lot of young people not running for office because they don't feel like they'll make a difference, has left us with an above average Senatorial chamber.
Hell, even our Speaker of the House is 81, so the House of Representatives isn't much better. But I like to think people like AOC, Rashida Tlaib, and others are inspiring more young people to run for office.
It's time for all those Parkland kids to run for office...
@@candacen7779 All of this. There are also tons of reasons the same candidates seemingly always win their house/senate seats. The incumbency rate has averaged 75-90% for the past 2-3 decades alone. Those in office have every advantage to win as long as they do the bare minimum to edge out opponents who typically have less coverage, momentum, or resources to mount a meaningful challenge.
Campaign reform of multiple kinds would do wonders...but good luck getting those in power to change the rules that have GIVEN and MAINTAINED their power. We're fucked, essentially.
Why? Does one lose their ability to contribute after a certain age?
@@conniepender4719 Nope. But you do lose a connection to what younger generations are attuned to more times than not, at least with our current crop.
Appreciating Johnny Carson’s signature golf swing. A small nostalgic bit of punctuation. 😊
Paying homage to those who came before. Class Act.
While he pushes the global warming scam on the unsuspecting sheep.
@@ricktd6891 Help out on the broadcast date when Johnny Carson mentioned global warming. Thanks.
@@vannshuttleworth4738 I'm talking about Stephen the lying traitor to America.
@@vannshuttleworth4738 Back in Johnny's day it was "The coming ice age."
Stephen you went for the TRUTH today, thank you and the whole staff/team (and your families/support networks) for using your platform in this way, and using comedy to help people hold hard truths honestly. Blessings to y'all!
Stop thanking a lying traitor to America for pushing communism on you. Go look up Agenda 21.
Well, at least we'll be laughing on our way to Apocalypse.
I wonder if maybe Norm would be jealous that we all made it to the rapture - while he was distracted with his death thing. Rest in Blissful Peace Norm Macdonald
If you ask me, that's the best way.
@@catherinefisher8534 I have watched more Norm videos than I thought were out there. He is going to be missed.
That title is radical for just a decade ago.
I'll laugh until the flood comes to sweep us all to kingdom come.
Stephen looks way too perfect on Ye Olde Cam.
Right? He's so hot. Daddy Colbert.
Fun fact: English used to have a character called “thorn” (Þ, þ) and when the printing press was made a Y was used as the replacement. So whenever you see “Ye old pub” etc - it is suppose to mean “The old pub”.
He is the absolute definition of a political hack
@@Crux161 We know. Is this your attempt at mansplaining?
@@cush6827 I found it interesting, is this your attempt at being clever?
I’m 72 and very concerned about climate change! I have twin great granddaughters who are just 19 months old. Thank you for focusing on the climate.
Compost the GOP
Cue Dr. Ian Malcolm: "That is one big pile of sh_t"
"This paint is so white...it's watching this show right now!" Not every day a host makes fun of himself and his likely audience (I'm white!) at the same time! 😁
Right? That got me, too. I feel called out and I'm okay with it for once.
I'm realizing how strange it is that I'm sitting here alone in a room and chanting, " .. how white is it .. " along with the audience .....
@@jsb331 Me too. Gosh, I'm glad Stephen is aware of what a talent Johnny is and giving him homage.
& not only white, pretty sure it's about the oldest audience demographic of the major late shows
@@mehere8038 Cuz smrtr ppl
I love the tribute to Johnny Carson: the golf swing, straighten the tie while rising on his toes. I miss Johnny.
I miss Walter Cronkite!!!
I miss real men...not the 🧚♂️ of today
"It's watching this show right now."
[sulks in token black guy]
I'm a token black woman. Let's hook up.
@@purplespray3768 Alas, not only am I a token black guy, but I am also a *taken* black guy.
Perhaps in another lifetime.
At least we are safer in a democratic audience
@@shrimpymacdougall3134 After watching Get Out, you can never be too careful.
*Sighs in rare Native American*
That impression of the train conductor was FAAAARRRRR too intelligible, Stephen!!!!!!😅😂🤣
Not near as good as Trevor Noah.
But it was missing the trademark bing bong 🎶electronic bell .
Why do you watch a traitor to America push a global scam on you week after week ?
How do most Americans think they won't be affected by climate change when they're literally experiencing it right now?
they think you will save them
Those of us with common sense think it will. However there are a lot of people who just don't care or refuse to accept it.
To be honest, at nearly 60, I will probably be dead before it impacts my life too badly - I just have this odd quirk of caring about the people who will still be living, and the ones currently in hard hit areas. Still, I could easily have 25 or maybe 30 years left - it could get pretty bad before then. Not that it isn't now.
@@pdoylemi Don't be so sure it won't affect you. You could be killed or injured any day by any number of natural disasters going on. Tornados, earthquakes, hurricanes, fires, floods....
Oh shit I just realized your a Democrat... never mind ill stop typing
How is it that we have a sitting U.S. Senator that is *88* years old? There should be an age limit.
Yes there should.
Remember Strom Thurmond?
It is not the number on the calendar that counts. I would rather Bernies thinking than Cruz on every issue I have heard Cruz speak. This is in spite of the nearly 40 years difference in birthdate.
i think there is also no certification to run for a public position...
There are minimum age requirements for Rep (25), Senator (30), and President (35).
Unfortunately, the upper limit is apparently infinity.
we’ve come to a point where comedians are making much more sense than politicians...
interesting times indeed.
You're 5 years late.
@@KieranFuller17 well, I just started watching these guys last year... but yeah, I guess I’m really late 😅
Court jokers are alway telling the truth
It's always been like that. George Carlin Bill Hicks and the hits keep going.
Also Family Guy apparently.
'Bought to you by landlines' what a hoot!
I wish Manchin cared about Earth as much as his bottom line/
I wish he was a Democrat
I'm sure his money will help him float.
*bottom of his bottle
I participated in the first sitting for the clean air act back in the '60s, and I have been green even before it was a green movement.
It hurts that in 60 years, we have achieved nothing and that we are doing worse and at a more rapid speed than anticipated.
Soon we will all be living in a Mad Max movie, and still people refuse to acknowledge it.
It is depressing to see the abundant ignorance in the world.
While absolutely agreeing that it is maddening seeing so many people in denial or becoming numb because they think there is no hope, please watch "Undecided" with Matt Ferrell and many other RUclips programs concerning tackling climate change. It may give you hope as you see people do care and are trying their best to come up with many solutions and not just waiting on governments.
Sorry but you're the ignorant one. CO2 is plant food, not pollution and CO2 caused man-made catastrophic global warming is impossible when CO2 doesn't control the temperature of Earth and we live deep deep within an ice age. Go look. Search : "Global temperature and atmospheric CO2 over geologic time/graph/images" by Scotese and Berner.
This is why you have Emmys sir. This was spectacular!
My dog would eat an insect based food, he already spends his evenings hunting bugs and tiny lizards. It makes sense to me.
My cat ignored her beef cat food yesterday and ate a single dead fly instead 🤦♂️
both you and your dog could live plant based instead, save the poor conversion rate of the ''middle insect''
I think pets who are fine to eat poop are pretty fine to eat insects as well. I really see no problem there at all.
@@Mesterjakel7 no, just no. That's called animal cruelty. Eat whatever you want but it's not OK to force your dog to go on whatever diet you decide you want to try next.
@@Mesterjakel7 you do know that insects convert about 1.1kg of their feed matter, which can be basically anything, like food scraps, into 1.0kg of their own body, with 95% of which is edible, compared to the very low efficiency of vertebrates...? You do know that, right? Or did you just want to feel special for pointing out a half-assed bullet point?
SOMETHING is happening. I haven't seen a single bumble bee, red or blue birds in my back yard, as I saw years ago. our bayous rarely have crayfish or turtles as I saw years ago. I'm in Houston. Hurricane used to hit every so often. NOW, they all go to Louisiana or Florida, DIFFERENT from years ago
Harvey and Imelda weren't that long ago. The main difference was that Harvey was a Cat 4 which we rarely see, so I certainly have concerns about severity, but it isn't like we aren't still a target...hell, Nicholas was only about two weeks ago.
@Shane Jordan nothing to do with climate change. Thank pesticide companies for that
I used to go on road trips as a kid. Bout 20 years ago. Window would be so splattered with bugs you coulsnt see. Now i said to my husband the kther day, holy shit a bug hit the window i havnt seen that in years ... So .. Yea
That crowd participation stand-up bit! :D
I half expected Stephen to bust out a Rodney Dangerfield impersonation, lol!!
Stephen: This paint is so white...
Audience: How white is it?
Stephen: It is so white, it has been nominated for the GOP Presidential Primary!
😂😂
😂😂😂
Righttttt..... and who won the democratic nomination again?
Racist jokes are not funny
Now that's a stupid comment, considering white as rice Biden praised Robert C. Byrd, and has been in office 180 years.
Bernie Sanders is 80, Ted Cruz is 50, I don't think it's age that makes politicians not believe in climate change.
It’s pretty much who sells their soul
Yes but it’s more likely that you don’t believe it if you’re old because you weren’t taught it in school
When ya think about it. Climate change has been in discussion for decades. The senators and representatives and anyone else in charge should’ve grown up concerned. So youre right, it’s absolutely not about age.
There are always exceptions to the rule. Sanders has always been progressive. So he’s like the outlier..
I remember in 1964 my fourth grade teacher told us about the Greenhouse Effect and how the world was warming up. I was terrified and have tried to live my life with as little impact on the planet as possible. I never had air conditioning or used a clothes dryer. I don't know any young people who live like that so it bothers me when comedians make fun of us clueless old folk, especially when I see how they live. Still grateful for them for bringing attention to the issue!
Agree
The Olden Cam is superb!! Make it a regular.
Regularity and Olden won't mix.
Unless it's sponsored by Metamucil.
USA has responsibility. So does Brazil burning down the rainforest, too.
And we can point fingers at each other for the next several decades while Florida slowly submerges, and wild fires continue to fill skies with smoke, and while Pakistan and India arm their nuclear weapons for war...
grasslands actually sequester more carbon than rainforests. 0.5% of America's native grasslands remain! What percentage of Brazil's rainforests remain again? more than 0.5% isn't it!
Only Colbert can make us laugh about climate change, thanks for a lite hearted chuckle about an existential crisis of epic proportions
Kurzgesagt has published a video on climate change just yesterday. It's very informative. Everyone should watch that video.
Just saw it 20 minutes ago
I highly recommend "Hoimar von Ditfurth - Der Ast auf dem wir sitzen". It´s very informative, it´s from 1978, and it nails it down to the last bit.
So, it´s not as if we couldn´t have known in time.
ruclips.net/video/6W2cL7Vop88/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/eFS9Av_slck/видео.html
A Pangea joke AND funny ye olde camera jokes. You're the man, Stephen. (That Johnny Carson relévé was perfect by the way.) 😎
Thank you for noting that physical allusion. It's like being reminded of a beloved older relative who we loved when we were young. #Nostalgia
@Juragan Muda Disgusting spam
@@GildaLee27 exactly Nostalgia 4evah
Greg Gutfled kicking yer ass 😂
This paint is so white, it just put on a red cap and stormed the Capitol.
That was good!
This paint is so white, it wants to speak to the manager's Manager.
Good one
Remember that you can't spell hatred without red hat MAGA Morons Are Going Apey
Paint so white, it owns every episode of "Friends" on DVD.
My cats love insects...
But mostly as a hobby!
My cats eat them. Kind of nice when the bugs are inside!
Yep, flies and box elder bugs for my dog.
Cicada season is like a foosball tournament! 😊
My cat catches flies in her mouth by the window then jumps down goes to the mid of the room opens her mouth and out it comes, just so she can do it again. Funniest thing ever! =)
God bless Mr Stephen Colbert.
He did a little Carson hop after his impromptu comedy set, spot on!
there was a couple Carson mannerisms. The golf swing and the tie adjustment were also signature Carson.
@@WestOfEarth yes!
Heeeeere's Stevie!
He’s no Johnny! More like an asshole to me!
All of us old white people recognized the homage
9:39 "This paint is so white, it just called the cops on all the other paint"
10:08 "Try the shrimp nacho special...it's beginning to turn"
LMAO
My Mini Pinscher puppy stuffed herself with cicadas during last summer's Brood X emergence. Now she expects every insect she sees to taste like cicadas. She's continually disappointed.
My cat used to strip the wings and legs of a cicada and play field hockey with it.
Imagine if these shows did this weekly instead of yearly.
Imagine if you planted a tree and stopped using plastic
@@paintedpony2935 How does one stop using plastic? It is capping the mountains. It's in the air, water, and soil. I plant trees all year. Hasn't stopped humanity from accelerating its own demise.
then it wouldn't get any attention or any press, making it pointless.
@@knoton3747 Doesn't mean you just give up and throw your hands in the air. Everything you just said is more reason to be using less and less plastic everyday.
@@J.5.M. you gotta learn to read. Individually you can do very little to help the climate. The reality is that most of it needs to be collective action. Regulations on Large scale logistics, industries, etc are the only way to get anything of value done.
This paint is so white, it has a daughter named Ivanka. This paint is so white, Trump allows it to live in his housing developments. This paint is so white, Marjorie Taylor Green keeps trying to sell guns to it.
So it's kind of an orangy white?
lol 😂
@@mimilarouge27 Yeah, kinda like a sherbet and just as fruity.
IM SCREAMING
@@forgotten1s Do I need to call for help?
Best Colbert monologue in my recent memory. 100%. Yes.
OK, I'll admit it. I thought Colbert was done after the low hanging fruit of Dump but, NOPE!, he's just as good now!! Well done, Sir! P.S. This note is probably more to his writers than to Colbert. :)
Someone isn't aware of the Colbert Report
I'm glad someone noticed how every night was about a bum not even in office anymore.
Why has his ratings tanked ever since the election?
“This paint is so white”😂🤣🤣 ngl that could become a segment of his
Was looking for this comment so i didnt have to.
Just an excellent monologue tonight, late show folks. Thanks for the belly laughs.
"If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be vegetarian." ~ Paul McCartney
When I worked at a grocery store, people kept assuming I was vegetarian. I hadn't even realized that I'd quit eating meat because it was so gross coming across the counter
Nah I’ve seen what goes on there and still eat meat
@@emmakaplan7508 I want animals to be treated kindly and I wish there was a way to slaughter them the day before their natural death but it's just not possible and I need meat in my diet and so do other carnivores. I also don't like the government pushing veganism on me over a global warming scam centuries old.
@@ricktd6891 I feel the same way, but it’s not really a “scam” either. Climate change is very real.
I would just not go near slaughterhouses, personally.
I'm 73 and I care enough for at least 3 or ,4 people. And it's not just because I have grandchildren. I care about the planet's future.
The white paint getting rid of air-conditioning sounds pretty dam cool 😎🆒🆒🆒🆒🆒
I love me a juicy steak. But I love my children and my planet more, and that's why I only eat steak once every few weeks. That goes for burgers and the like too.
I don't want people telling me what I can and cannot eat, so I act as responsibly as I can.
Thank you for making the impending apocalypse absolutely hilarious.
I am 72 and I am glad you did this. Thanks, Tina
Stephen is officially my favorite man on Earth.
Are you an alien
Your favorite man on earth is an establishment hack like Colbert? That's just sad!
Decades ago the Canadian scientist David Suzuki, responding to deniers who said global warming scientists were like "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" pointed out the story ended when THE WOLF CAME!
That was a surprisingly solid Johnny Carson.
Please talk about native gardens so people get an idea of the one thing individuals can actually do
On the flip side, digging up raw barite ore to produce and process the barium sulphite that makes up nearly 60% of the paint means it has a huge carbon footprint.
So there are no solutions, so the smart thing to do is roll over and die quietly. Got it.
@@dangler1907 no. It's to find another solution, because this shit ain't it.
@@Virjunior01 You haven't been paying attention. There is no solution that hasn't been condemned.
Nancy Pelosis two $24,000 refrigerators do to. They are big enough to house a couple Haitian families. Can you imagine how much energy they use? She and her propagandist pal (or "cock holster, if you will), Steven Colbert, are down with their "carbon footprints," because they are better than you. Just ask them.
lol I didn't know that, thanks for sharing. What a typical rich, white thing for it to do!
The White Paint" bit was hilarious 😂 😃 😄
Loved the little homage to Johnny Carson.
Yup. Saw that too. 😊
There's no better way to start one's day than with good old Stephen Colbert and his transcendent writing team. It sure is a shame that were all doomed.
Thanks for fixing the world climate crisis Stephen, Seth, Trevor, Sam, Adam and the 3 Jimmy's!
Just so everyone is clear: We are doomed. We passed the point of no return a long time ago, but if everyone understood that there would be mass panic.
Don't forget that the volcano on Las Palmas has erupted again, which causes one side of the mountain to slide further towards the sea....ask me what that means, or look it up.
Yup. Pretending this is salvageable keeps those in power for as long as possible. They plan on riding this wave until the end.
Jon and the band sound amazing as always, I wish we could hear the whole set,
Loved the Johnny Carson impression. 😂
If you are a looking for a way to help the environment you can switch to ecosia they are a search engine that plants trees.
👏🏼💯👏🏼💯👏🏼💯
Or you can vote for people that can fix the economy.
Watch the 1942 USDA video *Hemp For Victory* and grow fields of Cannabis hemp outside in the sun as God intended.
We could try to get old people to care about climate change, but we could also just vote them out of office. Could you imagine?
old people aren't just politicians. they're also the most reliable voters.
Loved the Johnny Carson golf swing and tie knot tug.
John Baptiste deserves an emmy for his suits this week
Jon Batiste. It's a tricky one, haha.
Complains about cow farts....meanwhile trips to space for fun....."no problem "
These sheep believe everything.
" You were a little late with that ." Hahaha.
Batting a thousand with this monologue, there’s even a ‘subtle’ nod to Johnny Carson!
As soon as Stephen said, "This paint is so white,"I chimed in from my rocker recliner with, "How white is it?" hoping the audience would also chime in. And then he straightens his tie, does the hands-behind-the-back pose and swings the invisible golf club. Oh, how I miss Johnny Carson.
@@Ghost-uf4ds; I don't - never ever found him to be remotely humorous in anyway, except for his side-kick maybe.
@@guynorth3277 agreed.
All lies used to push politics on you.
“Pets love their buggies!” My dogs favorite are “sky raisins” and the cats seem to prefer grasshoppers…
Almost entertaining if you can get past all the global warming scam lies.
Yep “no one can make us care”.I am so disappointed in humanity!
The middle-aged audience laughing at young people being concerned is just sad.
Because young people are brainwashed and don't know the whole thing is a scam.
@@ricktd6891 oh Rick Rick Rick , buddy read the room