930 - We thought wrong by endersgame69 | Humans are space Orcs | HFY | Terran

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  • Опубликовано: 15 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 675

  • @AgroSquerril
    @AgroSquerril  3 года назад +94

    The Author of this story has a
    Patreon : www.patreon.com/tellingstories
    and a
    Discord : discord.gg/mPAkatrGwZ
    Check em out if you are so inclined

    • @marvinjohnson2488
      @marvinjohnson2488 3 года назад +8

      Alright where the heck is part 3?

    • @reasonabledoubt459
      @reasonabledoubt459 3 года назад +7

      @@marvinjohnson2488 Three? There are sixteen parts so far.

    • @asurasyn
      @asurasyn 3 года назад +4

      16 parts?!
      Yes, please!

    • @isaackinsley1662
      @isaackinsley1662 3 года назад +1

      @@reasonabledoubt459 and off to Reddit for a week of wiki walking and binge reading.

    • @cursedhfy3558
      @cursedhfy3558 3 года назад +3

      So quick question do you plan on continuing this series? Because there are currently 18 parts and I'd love if you gave them a read.

  • @randomd2146
    @randomd2146 3 года назад +567

    Humans: (chill)
    Random xeno: (kills 1 child)
    Humans: do you want your species taste the sun?

    • @theredknight3736
      @theredknight3736 3 года назад +34

      I read it with bill wurtz voice

    • @huntsman9212
      @huntsman9212 3 года назад +30

      More than twice this time

    • @wrath2501
      @wrath2501 3 года назад +34

      Humans: So you have chosen GENOCIDE.

    • @ivanrubiomorales2759
      @ivanrubiomorales2759 3 года назад +31

      @@wrath2501 more like...xenocide 😂

    • @erikmckoul2478
      @erikmckoul2478 3 года назад +28

      @@ivanrubiomorales2759 Maybe that's why aliens stay away from our planet, as soon as we advanced with technology we had a word for wiping aliens out. lol

  • @piratekingthaszar7912
    @piratekingthaszar7912 2 года назад +433

    "Stand down or we shoot the children!"
    Humanity: "are you sure you want to give us complete moral justification to make Desert Storm look like a dress rehearsal?"

    • @Cosmopolantic
      @Cosmopolantic Год назад +63

      “Are you sure you want us to make WWII look like a training session

    • @camelthegamer7165
      @camelthegamer7165 Год назад +29

      "... and that's why we're going to win."

    • @benjamintherogue2421
      @benjamintherogue2421 Год назад +26

      All of human conflict is gonna look like a stage rehearsal.

    • @talonsclaw9058
      @talonsclaw9058 Год назад +37

      "Geneva conventions will be our Geneva suggestion war plan"

    • @Random_Tech-Priest
      @Random_Tech-Priest Год назад +16

      “Are you sure you want us to make the Geneva convention look like a comedy novel

  • @badbloodkiller3471
    @badbloodkiller3471 3 года назад +1004

    My favorite part is about them discussing human movies, that the only things we fear are monsters that cannot be killed and anything that are less than immortal gods we would sneer at.

    • @dementededge3266
      @dementededge3266 3 года назад +190

      Tbf we'd also gladly sneer at an unkillable god too if they hurt one of our young.

    • @alexs5814
      @alexs5814 3 года назад +193

      it's pretty easy to imagine the thoughts processes:
      If it's smaller than a god, there is hope, so we only need to fight hard enough to kill it.
      If it's a god there is no hope. so we lose nothing by fighting as hard as we can and just maybe something we do will harm it.

    • @NewSoupWiiHii
      @NewSoupWiiHii 3 года назад +82

      Me: guys guys. Imma kill this god

    • @WardNightstone
      @WardNightstone 3 года назад +145

      i mean "if it bleeds we can kill it" is one of our first and most highly held truths we learned that lesson before we even had the words to say it

    • @choboibigly6565
      @choboibigly6565 3 года назад +29

      @@WardNightstone if it doesn't bleed, hit it hard enough that it does

  • @Sinyao
    @Sinyao 3 года назад +881

    How did they think we kept children alive for the 20 years it takes for them to achieve full maturity? By killing everything that threatens them.

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 года назад +135

      true

    • @nuru666
      @nuru666 3 года назад +111

      Hell Hath No Fury....

    • @erikmckoul2478
      @erikmckoul2478 3 года назад +68

      You would think it would be obvious that we care a lot about our young.

    • @SiegeTF
      @SiegeTF 3 года назад +73

      @@erikmckoul2478 To anybody who cared to look, but a species that uses r-type reproduction (have lots of kids and rely on the law of averages) wouldn't.
      If 'r-type' sounds familiar it's what the Bydo Empire used in the R-Type games - the R-series of fighters, of which Humanity only had a handful of ironically represents k-type reproduction; having a small number of offspring and investing care into them.

    • @awesomemccoolname7111
      @awesomemccoolname7111 3 года назад +64

      Wife and I just had our first and I can confirm I would rip any threat to shreds without mercy.

  • @aretailcashier450
    @aretailcashier450 3 года назад +729

    “Steal their supplies”
    Humans: “i sleep”
    “Kill the adults”
    Humans: *is uncomfortable* “i sleep”
    “Kill the children”
    Humans: *bfg division intensifies*

    • @fadelsukoco3092
      @fadelsukoco3092 3 года назад +51

      "So, have the Admiralty finally got over their petty argument over if we're going to spike the atmospheres of their non-civilian worlds with Petrusite, Tiberium, or Life-eater virus yet?"

    • @vexile1239
      @vexile1239 3 года назад +7

      Rip...

    • @ianhogben3472
      @ianhogben3472 3 года назад +19

      @@fadelsukoco3092 suffer not the xenos live

    • @cnlbenmc
      @cnlbenmc 3 года назад +4

      +@@fadelsukoco3092+ Some are saying they either want to take it slow with up close and personal work via planetary invasion, others an Orbital Bombardment or Global Nuclear Holocaust. Petrucite has been determined to be too valuable to be used outside weapons development, Tiberium is a No-Go as we don't want the Scrin showing up Again on another planet (and it's also too slow) and the Life-Eater virus is is too quick, too unstable to transport safely and we don't have enough of it for a planet killer event, yet.

    • @seand.g423
      @seand.g423 3 года назад

      @@fadelsukoco3092 faith...
      Kill them... with Faith...

  • @rayanderson5797
    @rayanderson5797 3 года назад +141

    "Who puts knives on their guns?!"
    * Happy gas mask noises... *

    • @platinumchromee3191
      @platinumchromee3191 2 года назад +17

      Gears of War: we slapped a chainsaw on already good rifle and made it evne better

    • @denifnaf5874
      @denifnaf5874 2 года назад +7

      Fun fact: in half life alyx there was supposed to be a shotgun merged with the tau/ gauss

    • @hrushikeshsawant6193
      @hrushikeshsawant6193 Год назад +4

      Dont forget the showels

    • @talonsclaw9058
      @talonsclaw9058 Год назад +4

      *Sharpening shovel*

  • @Devin_Stromgren
    @Devin_Stromgren 2 года назад +90

    Totally believable. I felt the echo of homicidal rage at just the DESCRPTION of the infant's murder. And I only have nephews.

    • @Kualinar
      @Kualinar Год назад +11

      I felt rage, and I don't have any child.

    • @alfaraby5360
      @alfaraby5360 Год назад +8

      I still would have unalived him, even it wasn’t my kid... I am still enraged about that..

  • @RatRatRattyRatRat
    @RatRatRattyRatRat 3 года назад +224

    Xenos: "In addition, in the post war period"
    Human: *What post war period?*

    • @alexanderzhmurov9624
      @alexanderzhmurov9624 3 года назад +34

      Xenos: _[scale-shedding intensifies]_

    • @fadelsukoco3092
      @fadelsukoco3092 3 года назад +25

      The period in which you decide whether you want to bow and recieve fancy entertainment systems, foods and headpats, or resist and have your worlds choked with Petrusite and Tiberium everywhere except the agonizer and servitor conversion facilities.

    • @Gilhelmi
      @Gilhelmi 2 года назад +2

      The post-war period refers to the time after all those bastards are dead.
      😊

    • @travisbishop782
      @travisbishop782 2 года назад +10

      @@alexanderzhmurov9624 and those are that allies!

  • @zombiesl8yer383
    @zombiesl8yer383 3 года назад +293

    Human child: gets poked even mildly by some alien species.
    Humans: GENOCIDE IT IS!!!

    • @dannybryant1114
      @dannybryant1114 3 года назад +22

      *Toddler trips next to xeno.*
      Humans: *cracks knuckles* how many times do we have to teach you this lesson

    • @zyanidwarfare5634
      @zyanidwarfare5634 3 года назад +17

      Not all, in another story a race called the Zor became best friends with the humans in the middle of a war between the two, they lost a colony to the zor and expected them to be more savage and a child ran up going “look a dinosaur!” And the zor picked her up and let her ride on his shoulders

    • @eliandervalderen5849
      @eliandervalderen5849 2 года назад

      No no humans only go genocide or when aliens kill the children. Or significantly harm them. Aside from that we can be pretty chill

    • @Pink_Invader
      @Pink_Invader 2 года назад +1

      @@zyanidwarfare5634 do you remember the name of that story?? I would love to read it

    • @zyanidwarfare5634
      @zyanidwarfare5634 2 года назад

      @@Pink_Invader ruclips.net/video/hzCPAKS7j0A/видео.html
      That’s the story, I skimmed over it to make sure I got the right one.

  • @JEL625
    @JEL625 3 года назад +842

    Human: So, you will make it a war crime to harm our children?
    Xeno council: Yes. And in exchange we want to negotiate terms of peace with the Panklin. We will be there on their homeworld to accept their terms of surrender with you.
    Human: ....Asteroid field Jacob is not a suitable environment for negotiations. I suggest one of their governing colonys.
    Xeno council: Asteroid. Field. Jacob?
    Human: The former Panklin home world. We cracked it like an egg yesterday after giving them exactly 1 weeks warning. They to have evacuated most of their pocolony. Though with limited supplies it seems. We named it after the first infant they slaughtered in the memory of several thousand.
    Xeno council: * furiously trying to rewrite the peace treaty *

    • @scouttrooper3123
      @scouttrooper3123 3 года назад +66

      I love that! Humanity First!!!

    • @pauldavis9387
      @pauldavis9387 3 года назад +42

      Perfect. You are amazing.

    • @heartlessnobody1143
      @heartlessnobody1143 3 года назад +106

      Not so filthy xeno: ok, they want peace now, lets Just Go to their homeworld to-
      Human: yeah thats not gonna work
      Not so filthy xeno: i know all of you are angry
      Human: no no, we blew it up last weak, Just one or two medium ships were able to flee the gravitas torpedos we shot, it Just a asteroide field now.
      *Silence*
      Another xeno: the gravitas torpedos worked?
      Human: no. But we made it work!

    • @MalefAzelb
      @MalefAzelb 2 года назад +46

      @@heartlessnobody1143
      Humans: no. We just threw them until it didn't matter anymore

    • @number3766
      @number3766 2 года назад +58

      @@heartlessnobody1143 Xeno (in panic): Elaborate
      Human: The torpedos weren't doing enough damage fast enough, so we strapped a lot of em it to one of our frigates and used it to penetrate the world's core and come out the other side!
      Xenos (terrified): Why didn't you just bombard the planet from orbit? It would have cost you nothing!
      Humans: We wanted to send a message, not just to our enemies, but to all those who wish us harm.
      All it takes for us to destroy your homeworld is one heavily armed and motivated frigate, and we have no intention of surviving, just wiping everything that stands in our way out.

  • @caineliusnielquintus9939
    @caineliusnielquintus9939 3 года назад +346

    Man, I don't even like kids and I still felt the rage bubbling inside at the thought of a child being executed.

    • @RodneyG669
      @RodneyG669 2 года назад +67

      Infants cries actually trigger a specific chemical response in an adult human brain. It's why they can make you feel irritated sometimes.

    • @DaddyVeo1911
      @DaddyVeo1911 2 года назад +53

      The kid wasn't executed, they were put down as if they were a common rodent.
      So humanity decided to pay the xeno back in kind.

    • @elmodelo101
      @elmodelo101 Год назад +12

      That, my friend, is what makes us "humans".

    • @inkryption3386
      @inkryption3386 Год назад +30

      @@RodneyG669 That plus neoteny. We're predisposed to feel affection towards, or at the very least protective of, small child-like creatures, which is also probably the reason dogs have "puppy dog eyes".
      Ultimately makes sense when you realize that as a species, we don't breed that rapidly, so every small infant is to be guarded fiercely. And if something kills a human child, then responding in kind, while it may not save that tribe of people, will send a message to whatever did that, which will increase the survival rate of other tribes.
      T'is truly a fascinating thing.

    • @erxy6646
      @erxy6646 Год назад +18

      I was playing a game while listening, and I just heard the sound of 'shot a Human infant' and I have never been so throughout in making sure all enemies were terminated.

  • @GarlicAvenger
    @GarlicAvenger 3 года назад +440

    Pankin: "oh no we killed your children and then now we will threaten to kill more."
    Humanity: "You talking a lot of shit for someone in crusading distance."
    Pankin: "oh no! we are sorry! we will never do it again!"
    Humanity: *BROTHERS! TO PARTAKE IN OUR CRUSADE IS TO BE IMMORTAL!!*

    • @AmbroseBoaBowie
      @AmbroseBoaBowie 3 года назад +28

      You should have said
      “What’s a crusade?”

    • @nakotakao90
      @nakotakao90 2 года назад +14

      Hydra Dominatus

    • @nigelthornberry3568
      @nigelthornberry3568 2 года назад +24

      FOR THE EMPEROR!!

    • @Mugthraka
      @Mugthraka 2 года назад +21

      "What is your Duty?
      To serve the Emperor's Will.
      What is the Emperor's Will?
      That we fight and die.
      What is Death?
      It is our duty.
      What is your Duty?"

    • @Alpharius-Omegon
      @Alpharius-Omegon 2 года назад +4

      @@nakotakao90 we are many

  • @AmbroseBoaBowie
    @AmbroseBoaBowie 3 года назад +334

    “ homicidal, suicidal, and bloodthirsty species I’ve ever crossed”
    O I’m sure you say that to all the angry war apes UwU

    • @Alphahye
      @Alphahye 3 года назад +34

      *blushes*

    • @flamesredinconito6474
      @flamesredinconito6474 3 года назад +35

      If aliens can fluently speak English or at least know it and know what UWU means, they are going to have a panic attack until they learn what sarcasm is.

    • @flamesredinconito6474
      @flamesredinconito6474 3 года назад +16

      If they don't already experienced sarcasm in their own species

    • @AmbroseBoaBowie
      @AmbroseBoaBowie 3 года назад +16

      @@flamesredinconito6474 **manical laughter**

    • @WardNightstone
      @WardNightstone 3 года назад +19

      War apes sounds SO much more bad ass then "earthling"

  • @wolfoffenris9951
    @wolfoffenris9951 3 года назад +169

    You call it fiery crash, I call it dynamic entry, now prepair for impact, landingzone hot

  • @drewahrens3141
    @drewahrens3141 3 года назад +121

    Stupid xeno kills infant
    The human race: RIP AND TEAR!

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 года назад +27

      till it is done

    • @wrath2501
      @wrath2501 3 года назад +27

      Against all the evil hell can conjure.
      Against all the wickedness xenos can muster.
      We will send.
      Only you.
      (recording played in every dropship before impact throughout the Pankin war)

  • @PoldaranOfDalaran
    @PoldaranOfDalaran 2 года назад +85

    "Does anyone have a translation for..."
    I about died laughing. That was great.

  • @fadelsukoco3092
    @fadelsukoco3092 3 года назад +382

    Aliens: raiding and piracy
    Humans: Ah pirates, just send some forces to deal with them over time.
    Aliens: Kill a child in front of bystanders
    Humans: Heavy flamers? Check. Chainswords? Check. Slow-burn disruptors? Check. Petrusite weapons? Check. Agonizers? Check. Mindshackle scarabs? Check. Virus bombs? Check. Nova bombs? Check. Suffer not the xenos to live!

    • @raeishimura
      @raeishimura 3 года назад +35

      My lightning claws are sharp, my jump pack hot, my fury hotter. I need no gun, let me see their blood spill to the dirt as they gasp their last. For Corax, for the Emperor, for Mankind!

    • @alexanderzhmurov9624
      @alexanderzhmurov9624 3 года назад +28

      *_Slow-burn_*_ disruptors!!? My god man have you heard not of the Geneva!!?_

    • @fadelsukoco3092
      @fadelsukoco3092 3 года назад +6

      @@alexanderzhmurov9624 There's no legislation I've heard of where Human Rights have applied to Non-human species. I mean, yes, animal rights are a thing, but there aren't normal, God-given animals we're talking about, these are filthy Xenos!
      Oh yeah, I forgot to add Tiberium weaponry to the aforementioned list. My bad!

    • @LittleLightsDub
      @LittleLightsDub 3 года назад +17

      @@fadelsukoco3092 😳 I didn't think of that. Bio weapons it is

    • @MalefAzelb
      @MalefAzelb 2 года назад +16

      XENO DELENDA EST

  • @dj1NM3
    @dj1NM3 3 года назад +152

    The Pankin seemed to have chosen "death by human crusade"...

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 года назад +27

      hit the music

    • @isaackinsley1662
      @isaackinsley1662 3 года назад +8

      Here we go.
      ruclips.net/video/x0WQOGVLLGw/видео.html
      ruclips.net/video/VoF9HUvYPKs/видео.html
      ruclips.net/video/iHWmj6bLUU8/видео.html

    • @wrath2501
      @wrath2501 3 года назад +21

      They chose... Poorly.

    • @intermoutaindollhouse6547
      @intermoutaindollhouse6547 3 года назад +5

      @@isaackinsley1662 nice 👍

    • @TheKyrix82
      @TheKyrix82 3 года назад +6

      We do love our crusades...

  • @dannybryant1114
    @dannybryant1114 3 года назад +47

    *Toddler trips next to xeno and starts crying.*
    Humans: *cracks knuckles* how many times do we have to teach you this lesson

  • @wrath2501
    @wrath2501 3 года назад +56

    Pankin(trembling): What do you want for peace?
    Humans: We want you leaders heads cut off and stuck on pikes. As a warning to the next ten generations that some actions come with to high a price. We want to gaze up into their lifeless eyes and wave, like this. (waggles fingers)

    • @walterdayrit675
      @walterdayrit675 2 года назад +7

      Babylon 5 fan I seen!

    • @zuzax1656
      @zuzax1656 2 года назад +5

      @@walterdayrit675 But Vir got what he wanted, didn't he?

    • @walterdayrit675
      @walterdayrit675 2 года назад +3

      @@zuzax1656 Yup, Vir got what he wanted and more! 👍

    • @melkiorwiseman5234
      @melkiorwiseman5234 Год назад +3

      @@zuzax1656 And Vir was, quite possibly, the ONLY character to get exactly what he wanted.

    • @farmerned6
      @farmerned6 Год назад +3

      Can you and your associates arrange it for me, Mr. Morden?"

  • @finwik5448
    @finwik5448 3 года назад +219

    Alien: **commits War crime**
    Humans: *DO YOU WANT TO EXPLODE!?!*

    • @wrath2501
      @wrath2501 3 года назад +10

      Hey do you xenos wanna be on fire?

    • @cnlbenmc
      @cnlbenmc 3 года назад +6

      Loads Boltgun with *Malicious Intent* *!*

    • @zyanidwarfare5634
      @zyanidwarfare5634 3 года назад +9

      Humans: **commits even more war crimes each one worse than the last in retaliation**

    • @Volucrum
      @Volucrum 3 года назад +7

      Well obviously. They asked for it so they really must want it.

    • @Something.amiss5401
      @Something.amiss5401 3 года назад

      I love this "Despicable Me" reference

  • @Xaerorazor0
    @Xaerorazor0 3 года назад +139

    Ah, blitzkrieg, so swift and unsuspecting.

    • @tanknerd7193
      @tanknerd7193 3 года назад +26

      Even in the far flung future, the ghost of the 7th Panzer division is still present.

    • @weasley7273
      @weasley7273 3 года назад +12

      Rommel and Patton are smiling contently.

    • @WardNightstone
      @WardNightstone 3 года назад +12

      gotta love the germans they have great words that mean a sentence

    • @jacobgutwill7802
      @jacobgutwill7802 2 года назад +2

      @@tanknerd7193 you really gotta love the Tour de frace nowadays

  • @curiousangel6321
    @curiousangel6321 3 года назад +156

    I don't think they have watched enough human entertainment media because I doubt it will be enough. Unconditional surrender should be the first part that they send out if they are truly serious about wanting to quench the rage. Then when can discuss who is going to be put on trial for war crimes and writing up a proper treaty.

    • @erikmckoul2478
      @erikmckoul2478 3 года назад +12

      We are just giving aliens ideas now. If one of their soldiers shoot a baby now they will just glass earth then shoot it again just to make sure.

    • @matthewklestinski7030
      @matthewklestinski7030 3 года назад +10

      ..every single Human colony would then mobilize to "Vape the bastards!" and the story would be quite similar. Except our alien allies wouldn't be bothering to try to stop us Humans from having our revenge - they'd be worried about 'getting any on them' and just hoping we'd calm down after the Bad Aliens were all drifting wreckage and colored splotches on the terrain.

    • @alexanderzhmurov9624
      @alexanderzhmurov9624 3 года назад +5

      More to the point, some genuine repentance(as someone has pointed out b4) for their ideas regarding disposable young, they must show they understand *_what_* the (nature of) problem was with their way of thinking in regard to the (root cause for the) conflict and us as a species to deal with...

  • @Nomed38
    @Nomed38 3 года назад +55

    12:21 that is a warcry that either brings fear or joy to a human heart depending upon who it is leveled at.

    • @joshmcdonald5520
      @joshmcdonald5520 Год назад

      The Xenos learned that day what "Yippi ki yay Motherf***er" meant.
      They learned that it's meaning was death.

  • @Exis247
    @Exis247 2 года назад +29

    this is the part where the humans show their stunning compassion and "request" that killing any young of any species is a warcrime, punishable by a slow and painful death.

  • @raeishimura
    @raeishimura 3 года назад +166

    "Will that really be enough for them?"
    "We think so"
    We thought wrong....

    • @bogustoast22none25
      @bogustoast22none25 3 года назад +32

      Human: ... I’m gonna have to take a hard pass.
      Council: What?! Why?!
      Human: Because we need to prove a point.
      Council: and what, pray tell, is that?
      Human: Good question, you should really work on answering it.

    • @TrueFork
      @TrueFork 3 года назад +9

      a good Pankin is a dead Pankin

    • @asurasyn
      @asurasyn 3 года назад +17

      "Lessons _NOT_ learned in blood are all too soon forgotten."

    • @loganshaw4527
      @loganshaw4527 Год назад

      That was how all the pankins got thrown into the nearest star

  • @kurtismiller9544
    @kurtismiller9544 3 года назад +111

    They murdered an infant because it cried..... Grabs Battle-axe, Rifle and Seax.... Time to go to WAR!

  • @Volvith
    @Volvith 2 года назад +23

    Aliens: "We do a little raidin'."
    Humans: "Just leave us alone. Come on man..."
    Aliens: "We do a little young killin'."
    Humans: _"Your species has been deemed unworthy of life in the cosmos, and will henceforth be branded a plague to be eradicated. Witness true terror, death's many faces, and repent."_

  • @joshportal2808
    @joshportal2808 3 года назад +115

    Every time I hear a story like this, I yell out for fun or write in the comments: “For the Glory of Khorne.”
    Blood for the blood god. Skulls for the skulls throne.

    • @Makorze
      @Makorze 2 года назад +17

      Whats funny is that Khorne actually would send hounds to murder a baby killing xeno.
      Khorne is also the God of Justice and Honesty... He seeks the blood and skulls of the greatest champions, killing something incapable of fighting and still calling yourself a warrior is one of the greatest insults to Khorne.

    • @stanislav_kruger7792
      @stanislav_kruger7792 2 года назад

      @@Makorze Khorne wouldn't even stab you in the back. he would make you turn around, realise that he is there and wants to fight you and then stab you

    • @yomogami4561
      @yomogami4561 2 года назад +8

      Milk for the cornflakes!

    • @ryantomer4126
      @ryantomer4126 2 года назад +4

      *As a Krieger* This is one of the few times I will agree with you

    • @guimts8881
      @guimts8881 Год назад +1

      @@Makorze Nah, Khorne hates everyone and everything. The reason why combat interests him is because he can watch those he hates (everyone) destroy themselves.
      Though he would indeed disapprove of murdering a defenseless baby, it wouldn't be because of a sense of justice, rather, it would be because the baby wouldn't be able to try and destroy the murderer back. Thus, the baby would die without rage and bloodthirst in their heart, freeing their soul of Khorne's grasp, something Khorne would seriously disapprove of.

  • @janthion3590
    @janthion3590 3 года назад +67

    Either absolute surrender or Annihilation.
    The gall the Pankin has to make any terms/demands clearly shows they haven't learned their lesson.
    If they continue to do such, they will become the galaxy's warning to all.

  • @Mr_Jester980
    @Mr_Jester980 3 года назад +60

    Humans: The Floridamen of the Cosmo.

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 года назад +6

      lol

    • @WardNightstone
      @WardNightstone 3 года назад +4

      on The orvile one of the aline crews dad called us "humans, the Hillbillies of the universe" and i immediatly wanted that as a t shirt

  • @Jason-sm4oc
    @Jason-sm4oc 3 года назад +20

    "Trial and disposal" ... I think he knows what we would do to a child-killer.

  • @jakefaulkner8381
    @jakefaulkner8381 2 года назад +46

    - "What is that noise?...Are the humans playing music over the battlefield?
    - "It seems they are, admiral. I believe the purpose is to inspire their warriors"
    - "What a bizarre sound...what in the name of the galaxy is that music even called?"
    - "Scanning now sir...apparently it's a .mp3 file titled 'BFG Division - Doom OST'...weird..."

    • @DepressedCrow
      @DepressedCrow 2 года назад +6

      oh, oh no

    • @platinumchromee3191
      @platinumchromee3191 2 года назад +3

      BFG Division is cool and all,but how bout 4.5 hours of different doom tracks even adding some from dusk,quake and even "Type-03" from killer instinct?

    • @DepressedCrow
      @DepressedCrow 2 года назад +1

      @@platinumchromee3191 or tiger warrior

    • @charnor2727
      @charnor2727 2 года назад +2

      @@platinumchromee3191 it's just rock soundtracks from various violent games. We got some fps games, some fighting games, even a strategy game.

    • @farmerned6
      @farmerned6 Год назад +2

      Bagpipes

  • @James-bw4np
    @James-bw4np 3 года назад +316

    I find it odd that these alien species just disregard the value of children so much. It makes me wonder what biological processes they must have that would influence their culture to where they just say "eh, make some more, no big!"
    Must be a creature used to insanely large clutches of offspring that have a high mortality rate.

    • @SetzerII
      @SetzerII 3 года назад +85

      They might be R-type breeders. Or they have shorter gestation or rearing times. Or their young are better equipped to take care of themselves. Plenty of potential reasons.

    • @omargoodman2999
      @omargoodman2999 3 года назад +90

      Most animals are pretty well self sufficient within hours or days, if not immediately. But for humans especially, our heads are so big due to our brain:body ratio that we have to be born early in order to fit. So, technically, *all* humans are born premature and that's why we're so helpless as infants for so long, compared to other animals. As a result, we developed a super strong bonding process to compensate. Even other animals on our own planet don't have quite as ramped up young bonding as humans. There's a rather well known video of a deer that gives birth and immediately bounces when a panther jumps in, abandoning the newborn calf in the process.

    • @warrmalaski8570
      @warrmalaski8570 3 года назад +31

      Hive minds just wouldent care. losing one member of ther rase. Is just like clipping a fingenale to the hive mother. As for pry animals death would be such a consent that they wouldn't bother morning. Or they could be like reptiles with a binary brain. Wile living, the baby is a fellow whatever. But the moment it dies its just so much meat. Their psyche doues not allow the two separate thoughts to co mingle.

    • @Here_is_Waldo
      @Here_is_Waldo 3 года назад +9

      I wonder at what point they start caring? The POV character talks about people knowing their name and deeds, so they clearly have individuality and some sense of self preservation. How old do they need to be before a child becomes something worth protecting?

    • @VelociraptorsOfSkyrim
      @VelociraptorsOfSkyrim 3 года назад +21

      @@Here_is_Waldo They probably don't care until the offspring can contribute to society.
      An R-type reproductive strategy would mean "Pump.out a lot of kids so maybe a few survive to adulthood."

  • @legionxiv6670
    @legionxiv6670 3 года назад +7

    "Hey if I'm going feet first into hell may as well make sure its crowded when I arrive"

  • @talieclandestine9155
    @talieclandestine9155 2 года назад +9

    Xeno: "what do you mean, unconditional surrender, was the only option until 5 minutes ago?
    Human ambassador: "Well, their homeworld had a moon."
    Xeno: "What do you mean had?"
    Human ambassador: "Human evolution has always been back by weapons technology. You and yours have been under utilizing your weapons. For instance, the gravitas missiles can be used to knock a moon into a planet. They were given a deadline and they failed to met it. Consequences were immediate."
    Xeno: "....oh."

  • @anthonylivesay6358
    @anthonylivesay6358 3 года назад +27

    Each broadcast started with the sound of a gun followed by a screaming woman.
    Yeah, that would work.

  • @cteal2018
    @cteal2018 3 года назад +14

    Humans : "We're not here for a LONG time....We're here for a BAD time!"

  • @Jason-sm4oc
    @Jason-sm4oc 3 года назад +36

    Xeno : kills child.
    Xeno :" why do I hear boss music?"

    • @Melancholiccube
      @Melancholiccube 3 года назад +1

      Not just any boss music, but a remix of whatever the 'main theme' happens to be.

    • @anthonypreston8355
      @anthonypreston8355 3 года назад +5

      Not boss music modded boss music, this stuff is not going to be a regular revenge.

    • @LittleLightsDub
      @LittleLightsDub 3 года назад +1

      *dragonborn and doom music intensifies*

    • @reasonabledoubt459
      @reasonabledoubt459 3 года назад +2

      @@LittleLightsDub Actually I've kind of pictured humans showing up playing 'Ride of the Valkyries' and then capping it off with some death metal rip and tear kind of shit.

    • @LittleLightsDub
      @LittleLightsDub 3 года назад

      @@reasonabledoubt459 noice to each their own

  • @wyatttyson7737
    @wyatttyson7737 2 года назад +34

    I’ve never thought that Bayonets could be a uniquely human thing. Makes sense, now that I consider it, though, seeing as people have said that Bayonets are obsolete for the last 100 years.

    • @sethgilcrist8088
      @sethgilcrist8088 2 года назад +8

      It is not. It's how you turn a very crappy club into a rather useful spear.
      And let's face it empty guns make shitty clubs

    • @wyatttyson7737
      @wyatttyson7737 2 года назад +7

      @@sethgilcrist8088 Depends on the gun. There were a lot of pistols specifically designed to be used as clubs when empty, and they aren't that bad at it. Bayonets were not initially adopted, for hundreds of years firearms were instead carried with an arming sword or saber for close combat.
      Also, I think you missed the point of my comment. Any civilization with guns could eventually stick a blade at the end of it. But to still be doing that while being involved in interstellar warfare? People thought they were no longer useful in the year 1900, could they still be used in the year 2900?

    • @loganshaw4527
      @loganshaw4527 Год назад +3

      The opposite of a bayonet on a gun is a gun sword. A sword that shots.

    • @yomogami4561
      @yomogami4561 Год назад +3

      bean counters and politicians keep trying to get rid of bayonets
      soldiers keep finding ways to get them
      most of the time things devolve to hand to hand combat

    • @user-lp3cf5yn5b
      @user-lp3cf5yn5b Год назад +2

      The cry of fix bayonets still scares the living shit out of the enemy even today, and for those aliens who've never heard that will soon learn to fear it.

  • @DaddyVeo1911
    @DaddyVeo1911 2 года назад +14

    Alien pirates: *raiding and piracy*
    Human space navy ship, Enterprise: I'm sure we can talk this out.
    Alien pirates: *kills baby like a rat and the mother like a dog. Later they threaten children*
    Human space navy ship, Sublime Vengeance: suffer not the pankin to live. Charge the Nova cannons. Leave no survivors.

  • @henrypaleveda7760
    @henrypaleveda7760 3 года назад +45

    I really hope that "the revered speaker" didn't think wrong, those are reasonable terms for peace.

    • @bloodhunter07
      @bloodhunter07 3 года назад +10

      There will be piece. after we make sure that their entire spices is extinct

    • @bobross9656
      @bobross9656 3 года назад +7

      There will be pieces, once we destroy their planet.

    • @pvtgoo2234
      @pvtgoo2234 3 года назад +3

      And we will happily concede to those terms...With the cold lifeless remains of their species

    • @kriegsmanjaeger5545
      @kriegsmanjaeger5545 3 года назад +1

      The only reasonable terms of peace here are that there will be no peace as long as the transgressors continue to exist.

  • @kirkjones9639
    @kirkjones9639 3 года назад +14

    Xeno kills child.
    Two months later:
    Marine L/Cpl "Ya know they sort of taste like chicken."

    • @ChronoTriggerHappy
      @ChronoTriggerHappy 2 года назад +1

      yeah... yeah there would be at least 1 crazy mf'er who would wonder what an alien creature would taste like

  • @arobidy
    @arobidy 2 года назад +21

    “Will this appease guy and stop the war if we agree to never harm your children again?”
    No. Threats to children are eliminated.

  • @asurasyn
    @asurasyn 3 года назад +20

    "You took my world away... So I'm taking yours!"

    • @horrorfan117
      @horrorfan117 2 года назад +5

      Pankin: I don’t understand. All we did was shoot your kid!
      Human: _Exactly._

  • @thunderbird4636
    @thunderbird4636 3 года назад +12

    Hell hath no fury like a women scored, and god save anyone who hurts a man's family.

  • @vidaliam7165
    @vidaliam7165 3 года назад +11

    "We thought wrong" - Story of my life summed up in 3 words.

  • @Littleman3240
    @Littleman3240 3 года назад +33

    I'd love it if you covered the rest of this series. The author's so far made I think at least a dozen more that I know are on website.

  • @ihtfp01
    @ihtfp01 3 года назад +53

    The Algorithm loves you and wants you to be happy...

  • @jamesyoung16
    @jamesyoung16 3 года назад +18

    Man this was amazing I hope there’s a part 3 I absolutely loved this it’s so captivating that I would probably buy this if it was a book

    • @incarnation6664
      @incarnation6664 3 года назад +2

      it has 19 parts. check out the authors dicord or reddit

    • @jamesyoung16
      @jamesyoung16 3 года назад

      @@incarnation6664 thank you so much you made my weekend

  • @MercenaryX21
    @MercenaryX21 2 года назад +6

    You don't touch the kids, I think my favorite bible quote outside of the armor of God was the one with tying a milstone around the neck of someone who harms children.

  • @fleurgymcheurgy9267
    @fleurgymcheurgy9267 3 года назад +7

    The true query: Can the Galactic forces at large afford to do any less?

  • @redraptorx1066
    @redraptorx1066 2 года назад +14

    alien 1: so what if we kill an infant?
    alien 2: do you really find the idea of your own genocide that enjoyable!? there are 2 things you don't kill that a human will rip you limb from limb for!
    alien 1: that being?
    alien 2: a pet, and offspring. trust me, you don't want to know what happened to the last ones who ate some pets alive.

    • @ChronoTriggerHappy
      @ChronoTriggerHappy 2 года назад

      alien 3 *looking up from a manual*: This is crazy, says here that in absence of a child a human adult may instead bond with a creature it has dubbed as a "pet" and considers it as much part of its family unit as another human being.
      alien 1: but...thats just insane, they arent even the same species, let alone on the same sapience level!
      *all three stare silently* fuck

    • @wrigthtalekenavi2066
      @wrigthtalekenavi2066 2 года назад +4

      Human: Trust me, what i did to those who killed my rabbit still enters my nightmares... but that was oh so worth it.

    • @RichardX1
      @RichardX1 Год назад +1

      Just give every alien government a free copy of "John Wick"

  • @RodneyG669
    @RodneyG669 3 года назад +11

    "They nailed him to wood until he died"

  • @losthero0
    @losthero0 Год назад +4

    Couldn't help but shed a tear myself imagining the crying, shot, and screaming that ensued. Thank God they provided ships, otherwise in sure we would have found a way to ram their home planet with earth itself.
    Edit: I still think about this story over a year after first hearing it. Simply imagining the screaming audio coming over the loudspeakers and communication networks would be more than enough to make me see red as the dropship doors open to disgorge it's feral cargo.

  • @crayonchomper1180
    @crayonchomper1180 3 года назад +15

    I wonder if the humans ships played "Over There" on loud speakers as they traveled to fight the Pankin

  • @taliawtf6944
    @taliawtf6944 3 года назад +3

    I suppose that poor child and mother were the OG family of the Emperor of Mankind in 40k.

  • @seankane8628
    @seankane8628 3 года назад +7

    They can't grasp the concept of Citizen Soldiers

  • @sherylcascadden4988
    @sherylcascadden4988 Год назад +3

    For the author!
    For the narrator!
    And for the algorithm!!!

  • @badjer4328
    @badjer4328 3 года назад +13

    I like this guy's inspiration, I love the Enderverse and can't wait for the completion of the few story arc's left to write for

    • @reasonabledoubt459
      @reasonabledoubt459 3 года назад

      Part 19 closed out the first story arc, the sequel's part one was released today.

  • @santi2683
    @santi2683 2 года назад +3

    Aliens kill a child
    The entirety of humanity: I am become death, destroyer of worlds

  • @darkasura5370
    @darkasura5370 3 года назад +35

    Ehhh!!!! Why does this seem like another cliffhanger?!!!?

    • @0MarkHunter
      @0MarkHunter 3 года назад +2

      well there are a few more Chapters, the Auther does a good job
      light spoiler
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      at the moment it gets a bit "salty"

    • @reasonabledoubt459
      @reasonabledoubt459 3 года назад

      Because it has 19 parts and only 2 are narrated, oh and the sequel came out today on r/HFY.

  • @haskellyoung3121
    @haskellyoung3121 Год назад +3

    "This species is the most homicidal, suicidal, and blood thirsty species I've ever come across."
    Now you're just flirting with me.

  • @number3766
    @number3766 2 года назад +7

    Xeno soliders: I heard that the female took out his skull and beat him to death with it.
    Other Xeno that had a human hybrid child: That dosen't seem physically possible.
    Bad sniper Xeno: Yeah, thats what he kept saying too.

    • @ryantomer4126
      @ryantomer4126 2 года назад +2

      *Flashback*
      Filthy xeno while being beat to death: This doesn't seem physically possible!?
      Human female: (pick your posion) *Dead silence or incoherent screaming*

    • @jerrybrim5915
      @jerrybrim5915 Год назад +1

      Nice RvB reference.

  • @medical-cyanide1526
    @medical-cyanide1526 2 года назад +5

    i mean... this story makes a bit of sense, considering what the USA did after they attacked pearl harbor.
    to reference a russianbadger video "we sank a few ships and they dropped the sun on us twice."

  • @jacobfoss7783
    @jacobfoss7783 3 года назад +6

    Human child is brutally and unceremoniously killed...
    Child's mother: *(scp 096 whimpering sounds followed by a courage shattering cry of burning rage and hate)*

    • @thomascook3336
      @thomascook3336 Год назад +1

      If scps were real, every single galactic race would put us in a system wide quarantine, since we would absolutely use them as weapons.

    • @RichardX1
      @RichardX1 Год назад

      And you just know the mother [REDACTED] the killer's body before she was finally gunned down

  • @Inquisitor-Yog-Sothoth
    @Inquisitor-Yog-Sothoth 3 года назад +8

    Vile Xenos being purged puts a smile on my face

  • @julesmasseffectmusic
    @julesmasseffectmusic Год назад +4

    We spend their first 3 years running to stop them from killing themselves, the next 3 walking and yelling to stop them, the next 6 just yelling, and the rest of their lives hoping we yelled enough.

  • @user-lp3cf5yn5b
    @user-lp3cf5yn5b Год назад +1

    The last thing heard was "what makes the grass grow?!"

  • @guardianofthetoasters2323
    @guardianofthetoasters2323 Год назад +3

    It's that part I love in humanity. Most of us would not even bat an eye on other peoples lives as we have our own things to deal with but when a child, no matter the race, color, nationality or creed gets in danger or threatened, it is as if all gloves are off and by any means necessary *protect the little ones*

  • @Mugthraka
    @Mugthraka 3 года назад +5

    Aliens commit War crime
    Humans "So your Free-Trial at Life as now been forfeit"

  • @MartyrPandaGaming
    @MartyrPandaGaming Год назад +2

    Yeah, humans are particularly strange when it comes to children of our species. Usually, they don't even have to be our own for us to feel someway primal about seeing them harmed.

  • @douglasmcneil6689
    @douglasmcneil6689 3 года назад +6

    Your voice reminds me of how I always thought Winston Churchil sounded.

  • @itshenry8977
    @itshenry8977 2 года назад +3

    Xeno Kills a child
    Humanity : COWABUNGA IT IS!

  • @spider26dh
    @spider26dh 2 года назад +2

    Pirate shoots baby... The Earth "and I took that personally"

  • @johnathanblackwell9960
    @johnathanblackwell9960 2 года назад +1

    ....huh, I wonder if we could get enough white phosphorus for a full scale orbital bombardment

  • @antonfowler6582
    @antonfowler6582 Год назад +3

    " stop supplying weapons and tech " too late we will just reverse engineer it and make it better

  • @adamloga3788
    @adamloga3788 Год назад +2

    I'd just like to point out one famous line. "If it bleeds, we can kill it."

  • @virtualatheist
    @virtualatheist Год назад +3

    He shot a... Baby?
    I'll just open this can of whupass.

    • @Darqshadow
      @Darqshadow 24 дня назад

      They shot several. Humanity went Great Crusade levels of feral

  • @theangrybagel1730
    @theangrybagel1730 3 года назад +8

    this is why i am a firm believer of the God-Emperor of man, because he demands the extermination of all xenos

    • @culley8841
      @culley8841 3 года назад +1

      Suffer not the xenos to live, brother.

    • @hrushikeshsawant6193
      @hrushikeshsawant6193 Год назад

      Suffer not the xenos scum, brother
      FOR THE EMPEROR!!!!!

  • @alfredsutton7233
    @alfredsutton7233 3 года назад +6

    All hail the algorithm ... five words minimum. Great stories by the way.

  • @TorporTorpid
    @TorporTorpid Год назад +1

    "Does anyone have a translation for 'yippee ki yay MFer'?"
    "Now I have a machine gun. HO HO HO."

  • @alexanderzhmurov9624
    @alexanderzhmurov9624 3 года назад +5

    10:19...10:30... well...that's one way to interpret humanity's most "predominant" religion...and an easy excuse...for pretty much taking any action...otherwise inconsiderable...
    11:25... but of course...the politician would be the shortsighted one...

  • @1rotzy
    @1rotzy 3 года назад +2

    Human: *Relax*
    Alien: bang
    Humans: WATCH IT BUB!

  • @Southern_Crusader
    @Southern_Crusader 3 года назад +4

    Blitzkrieg, the human WAAAAGH!!!

  • @Mugthraka
    @Mugthraka 2 года назад +2

    10:50 DO NOT TRY US Alien Boi.
    WE NAILED our God to a Cross.
    WE Detonated Nukes in our ONLY livable Bio-sphere
    WE'VE knowed only 200 years of Non-War era in our history.
    DO NOT FUCK WITH US.

  • @damiennightmaresx7950
    @damiennightmaresx7950 2 года назад +3

    the story's name being "we thought wrong" and the ending qoute being "we think" is a horrifying loop oh christ-

  • @vinnyganzano1930
    @vinnyganzano1930 Год назад +1

    I've been on numerous flights with squealing infants and while I can sympathise with the pirates every human knows you hurt the parents 😉

  • @MestreDentistaGUC
    @MestreDentistaGUC 3 года назад +8

    Yippie Kai Yay for the algorithm!

  • @rileybello4711
    @rileybello4711 2 года назад +2

    I think the real message of this story isn’t about human care for their young, but the power of human rage

  • @lawrencespruyt5053
    @lawrencespruyt5053 8 месяцев назад +2

    You don't want to protect only human young. You want to protect ALL younglings. THEN we would agree

  • @alexanderzhmurov9624
    @alexanderzhmurov9624 3 года назад +10

    _"...in contradiction to doctrine"_ you say? Why, that would just be an "easier" if no more less inscrutable to any form of reasoning way to describe the whole nature of the species!

  • @ronniehopper2726
    @ronniehopper2726 3 года назад +2

    Stories from the southern half of the American continent and the Asian continent that they have begun eating the pirates

  • @Wolfbroa
    @Wolfbroa 3 года назад +8

    I always love these stories

  • @AshtonCoolman
    @AshtonCoolman 3 года назад +11

    Suffer not the xenos to live!

    • @dredgenauryx3382
      @dredgenauryx3382 3 года назад +3

      (Loads bolter with righteous intent)

    • @Charlie94781
      @Charlie94781 11 месяцев назад

      Xenos should be given the benefit of the doubt, before you start attacking them

    • @AshtonCoolman
      @AshtonCoolman 11 месяцев назад

      @@Charlie94781 WRONG

  • @discusmaximus
    @discusmaximus 9 месяцев назад

    For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

  • @VelaiciaCreator
    @VelaiciaCreator 3 года назад +2

    Immediate switch flipped the moment I read "that" line.

  • @alexanderzhmurov9624
    @alexanderzhmurov9624 3 года назад +3

    ...8:53... over the top? overkill? that's the human way... and that is indeed concerning...especially in the long term... normally reasonable problems to be met with serious consideration are naught but trifling matters...12:00...

  • @oakenshadow6763
    @oakenshadow6763 Год назад +1

    I thought about writing a story like this, about not hurting kids. This is far better than my idea. This is far better.