“He earned $17k last month. Why are we fighting over $14?”
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- Опубликовано: 14 авг 2023
- Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Kara and Drake. They are 38 and 37 with two infant children. Kara used to earn as much as $20k in a month, but has pulled back on work since becoming a mother-leading to painful identity issues. Drake has picked up the slack, but gender roles loom large in their at-home dynamic.
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0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
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This is a lot more about finances. A LOT!
It has taken a long time to accept me for me and grow. I would absolutely share because these stories help me so much. I am nowhere near perfect. I'm not even in a place to judge if there is one. My point is not meant for criticize. I am familiar with her. She is me. Much love
The most iconic line from Crazy Rich Asians is where Astrid says
“It’s not my job to make you feel like a man. I can’t make you something you’re not.” and I think that applies here.
What a bomb of a phrase!!
Wow. ❤
Dynomite!!!!🎯🎯🎯
Damn
Okay so question 🙋🏽♀️ when women say that they can’t be submissive or feminine if the men they are with don’t make them feel that way if the men doesn’t make her feel that she can rest in her feminine energy is that what you would tell those women the same that men can’t make a woman feel like a woman ? What did Aretha Franklin mean in her song you make me feel like a natural woman ?
I couldn’t imagine being so stressed and anxious, caring for a toddler and a newborn that I risked my life 2x to carry and birth, and having a man so cavalierly speak about what I’m not doing for him. Hell no.
👏🏾 👏🏾
How would that stress you out. Why can’t women normalize leaving especially if you make enough money to hire a nanny and make more. Women stay in stress talking about love and marriage. She looked stupid crying his actions in a sparking lot like she in high school
@@queenofthousandmoons2231 how would recovering from childbirth while caring for a newborn and toddler stress you out? Is this a real question?
They make 37k a month between.....just hire a damn maid....but this guy is so committed to gender roles that he doesnt' care about his wifes' mental, physical, financial or emotional well being. I hope she doesn't cave into his demands like most wives do and end up regretting like most wives do
@@notyet2345They said they don't earn enough to pay all the bills (which honestly, confuses the heck out of me).
He said "I don't know how to be a new husband, new father and new business owner at the same time". Yet Kara is having the same experience and is expected to carry it all while he figures it out. :(
Who is expecting that of Kara?
Right? She has it together and wants him to match energy’s, not necessarily income.
@@justinsaunders9358well everyone, including him
@@justinsaunders9358Her husband? Everyone around her? They rely on her income in addition to his.
@@justinsaunders9358 if she doesn’t do it then who will? Drake isn’t stepping up
Anytime a man says, “I’ll reach my potential when she appreciates me the right way.” Sweet Jesus. He just blamed her for his insecurity that he can’t succeed on the level she has.
These red pill misogynists always complain about "emasculation", but that very notion of NEEDING a woman who is supposedly weaker to do something to help you do what you sre already supposed to do as an adult is self emasculating. Then they wonder why its a turn off?!
yup just as stupid as women saying love me at my worst or you don't deserve my best i agree
Yet we hear all the time from you all: “I will be feminine for the right guy”??? 😂
@@sardonumspa8113lmaooooooooooooooo
@@sardonumspa8113😂
This made me so sad - I was exhausted just listening to Kara.
Drake was making her responsible for his feelings, and seems either totally unaware or comfortable with that. And then he calls her controlling! I completely understand why she bristles at being constantly asked to demonstrate her appreciation for him when he doesn’t even seem to recognize, much less appreciate, all the work she is doing.
This woman is so hard on herself! When we’re so hard on ourselves that leads to being hard on others as well. I read this quote recently that I think is apt: “You deserve to be in environments that bring out the softness in you, not the survival in you.”
I think that is the price of “excellency” that all the minorities grow in to. There is the idea that soft is weak. Is frustrating to see people trying to feed in to rolls that someone else made
@@leedsdrumacademyIndeed. That’s why learning how to practice self compassion is so important.
Her partner doesn’t allow for her softness to come out. He is not taking the lead on anything and uses ADD as an excuse to not take care of things. She has to remain in control because otherwise they will lose everything she worked so hard to get.
@@SaintsandSushi and then blames her for not being soft enough. And I finished both parts of their episode, and he just strikes me as being highly manipulative. His grievances are more about the gender roles and resistance to being a team player for her because he feels “emasculated” I think it’s very much intentional. He talks a lot about seeing the “big picture” but the big picture is one in which she is submissive to him regardless of the practicality of that.
💯
She’s everything, he’s just Ken.
But seriously, the end of this episode when he was focusing on not getting enough attention and kisses when she had just had a baby was so hard to listen to. I would recommend the book “Fair Play” by Eve Rodsky. It helps couples achieve equal division of labor in the home. It’s hard to bicker about who does more/who doesn’t do enough when it’s laid out in black and white what each person’s responsibilities are.
I cringed at that, I’m not a mom but to expect your partner to playing high praises when you give her no emotional attention or appreciation… dude come on. She’s busting her ass and working hard and making money AND gave birth, where are her kisses and hugs?!?!
Fair Play is good. I thought it was extremely helpful.
I have a really hard time empathizing when a person is holding on to the idea of give me before I give to you and traditional gender roles.
yeah its easy to spout barbie isms instead of pay attention lol. this woman admitted that showing affection presents a loss of control for her. they are both flawed and any other conclusion would reveal bias
If find it interesting that Drake wanted grace and space to settle into his new role as a father but when Kara mirrored those feelings he brought it right back to his feelings of inadequacy without even acknowledging what she just said! It was also weird that he felt what she said about loosing her identity was emasculating. She said nothing about putting him down. Where did that even come from?? They are going through similar drastic changes and he has no empathy for his partner. I’m sure the whole relationship is not trash but when your partner thinks and operates like this the other partner’s needs and feelings are put on the back burner and often disregarded completely. She doesn’t want to “kiss him on the neck” because the response we just saw is probably like that everyday- and who wants to get close to someone who belittles and gaslights them every day. There’s a reason why he’s fired multiple therapists- they probably recognize that more of the change that needs to happen is with him and he does not like that.
That’s also what I noticed. It’s always about how Drake is feeling. Why is she required to cowtow to Drakes feeling and wants constantly?
He's a narcissist...
Yeah I think he already just feels emasculated period because she makes more. His insecurities are shadowing everything. There’s not much she can say or do. He already feels like he’s not enough but instead of wanting to work through that, he gaslights her.
@@pismobiics825exactly…and it’s not fixable 😕
After she accepted that she has demonstrated control in their relationship, Drake, sadly, stopped listening. He didn’t hear anything after that.
So when it came time for him to respond, he doubled down on what she said. Essentially saying “yeah. The control thing has made me feel emasculated.”
What Drake needs to ask himself is…after that extremely vulnerable moment for Kara…why did he feel the need to double down instead of meet her where she is and come to a place of understanding and helping her?
He wants her to kiss him on the neck for earning 17k last month, but how does he show appreciation for the fact that in the last month, she had a baby and is taking care of a newborn, a toddler, and managing to still keep her business going on top of it? She seems like a dynamite woman who has been holding the family together, and he’s the one expecting accolades? The audacity! The only reason he was able to earn that much money was because she was taking care of everything and everyone at home. It’s her win as much as it is his.
THANK YOU! THIS!
Not to mention…she was making $20k a month before!! For years!!
Men believe its an obligation women must perform...no praise for something that is expected out of women... Patriarchal idealistic views are so constricting...
More like he wants her to kiss his ass.
@@aziza2522- perform praise even when he is undeservjng
She is crafting EVERY response to please her husband. She is editing herself too much, just say it. This is the moment.
Ramit is usually very good, but he completely missed the mark on this one. He’s following Kara’s lead, but Kara doesn’t have the language to explain that she’s being manipulated and gaslit by her husband. He is incredibly blame-focused, self-victimizing and has tricked her into doing all the housework and child care. He weapons his masculinity to make her do more. When she asks him for help, he gets upset with her for “nagging”. She can feel that she has a loss of identity because of all this gaslighting, but she mistakenly ascribes it to being a new mom or not being in LA. She has a loss of identity because her feelings get invalidated and weaponized against her every day. She’s told her feelings are wrong, so she doesn’t trust her feelings. So now she just knows she’s unhappy, but she doesn’t know why. There is a reason every therapist has called this guy out and why he refuses to go back. This guy is textbook. And his calm demeanor now is to make her look dramatic. I’m confident he’s a lot less calm behind closed doors
It seems like Ramit caught a glimpse at the end when Kara opened up about her feelings and Drake immediately started whining about his masculinity in response. Drake can’t even hold space for Kara long enough to care about her identity crisis. Because he only cares about & feels bad for himself. I hope Ramit unearths it in the next episode. But even if he doesn’t, I hope Kara starts trusting her gut more and stops listening to this man who does not have her best interest at heart. We have all been here Kara and you are stronger than this man wants you to believe you are ❤
And the reason she doesn’t want to kiss him is because she’s sick of giving him every single little thing he wants all of the time
EDIT: I would also bet money that he uses the fact that SHE chose cloth diapers + food prepared from home to mean that… she does all of it. There’s always a justification. And she always gets the short end of the stick
Yes to this.
As a man who to my knowledge is not specially educated or sensitive to such topics, he did a remarkably fast job to calling it out around the 58 minute mark. Husband is so concerned about his masculinity and has no concern for Kara's quite understandable emotional responses during a physically difficult time. Yes she said birth was amazing for her, but still the response is absolutely ludicrous. Especially given the criticism of her not supporting him enough in the same time frame. Like what?
He has the same grandiose, subtle, manipulative nature my abusive, very articulate ex husband had. Similar self indulgence and over 'explaining' of his masculinity being attacked if I so much asked for some compassion or consideration as a partner. Watching this on RUclips after listening to it on the podcast actually made my blood run cold on a number of occasions.
I had flashbacks to my ex and the way he used similar tactics to control and belittle me and my needs. He's slick, almost prostelytizing, just as my ex was. Very measured and in control.
She reaches out to articulate how she feels, or to as for help, and is shut down by his erudite, gas lighting 'sensitive' mumbo jumbo about gender roles and emasculation. He uses words to control, not his fists.
I think Lundy Bancroft dissects this type of abuser well in 'Why Does he do That?'.
These men leave you utterly confused, like magicians constantly deflecting from the real problem, which is actually them. They never seem aggressive or angry, but deploy verbal ambushes calmly to make the woman feel she is losing it or being unreasonable. They want things to be in their favour, they like the status quo as it works for them. No they do not wnat to change.
Kara's needs and voice will always be invalidated or ignored. She isn't important enough to him to listen to and amend his actions. He's simply not shifting his weight when he needs to it seems, and like you said, weaponising her feelings against her.
I think Ramit is aware but may be giving Drake enough noose with which to hang himself. Taking the softly softly approach.
I agree!
You hit the nail on the head! Drake doesn’t care about Kara’s feelings.
The fact that Drake had a $17k month right before or during the first 4 weeks of his child's life speaks VOLUMES. This is a woman with BARELY ANY support from her partner. Kara just spoke so candidly aboout her loss of identity and this manchild replied with "feeling unappreciated and emasculated." WTF IS HE TALKING ABOUT?????
Sarcasm?
Good point!
@@DrakeMurphyOfficial Such a hard episode to watch bc you made it all about you and your needs. You didn’t listen to your wife at all. Hopeful ramit made an Impact and you made a change.
I know right? A woman's feelings are always more important than how a man is feeling. He just needs to shut up and listen...........😶
@@mr.roberts3886That's not at all what is being said.
I was in Kara’s place once. I was the only income earner, pregnant/new mom and the only one doing finances and home ownership responsibilities. I was expected to do everything without complains and also was expected to tip toe around my ex so he wouldn’t feel emasculated. I’m sorry but that’s just ridiculous to expect a woman babysit a grown adult’s feelings when he is not actively working as a partner. Is not the woman being emotional is the guy being checked out. The husband could very well help his wife with the kids but chooses not to…and he will use any excuse (add or business ownership) to not help out. If one partner is expected to multi task and not the other than that’s gender bias at its best.
Might wanna choose the man you have a kid with bettwe next time. Women have all the choice today, and it baffles me every time I see thia kind of situation.
@@mithicash1444 So no responsibility for the man. Got it 🙄
@@mithicash1444 yeah sure is all my fault 🤦🏻♀️ Your lack of common sense and understanding on how relationships actually work is mind blowing. Is not my fault a grown ass adult decides to act like a juvenile while in a romantic relationship. Nice try pretending you know better 🤡
@@ILuvMyBrwnSkina man isn’t going to change who he is for a woman if he doesn’t want to so why choose a man you feel needs to change?
@@isabelreyes6387 What does that have to do with holding both parties accountable? It still takes two to tango
I really hate masculine and feminine energy talks. Because anything surrounding hard work and earning money is always considered masculine. I also really hate it when she said WE did things only SHE did. I’m glad Ramit pointed that out but I also was pissed looking at him knowing he didn’t do any of that, but wanted the credit. ADD does not excuse you from helping out around the house! And then he gaslights her and turns it around and says he feels emasculated when she’s asking for help. I don’t see these two lasting in this marriage.
Spot on! Whats worse is what they consider "masculine' is just being a responsible adult. Yet, when even do a half decent job, its considered a part of manhood
This man is one of my worst nightmares in life. I can think of few things worse than being married and realize your husband is a sexist, inadequate and insecure man-child AFTER getting pregnant with his child
a living nightmare for sure
Drake word of advice from a 50 year old : be less focused on yourself and have empathy for what Kara is doing and has to go through. Many men are like you : be better. You can ! Btw I have ADD too
They don’t like each other; they both chose the wrong partner to enter into marriage. She said, at one point, they have a “a crazy relationship that worked”, but they just don’t seem to be a good fit for each other. The only thing she could reference as amazing since they’ve been married is becoming a mother, nothing about being a wife.
How was it not more directly called out that not only is she the breadwinner, but also doing ALL of the unpaid labor around the house? I also wouldn’t want to praise him for literally doing less than her in all categories and for doing the absolutely minimum as a PARTNER. He wants praise for making money and, as she said, he doesn’t offer her any for being the caregiver. The double standard is so gross and should have been more called out.
She's got a big attitude and he doesn't seem appreciative enough. They are doomed as a couple
@@GoriaasHe will cheat & I don’t condone that but in this case I UNDERSTAND!
@@sardonumspa8113 and you're giving a prime example of why a woman should NEVER help a man achieve anything. Insecure men will only resent you for your help during their hard times and cheat. Insecure men like Drake want a woman to look up to him and think he did it all on his own. Fortunately the internet is forever and someone can look back at this video and see how much Drake needs his wife. She could have put all that assistance she gave to dead weight Drake to herself and her own business
The problem is that he made $17K in one month, which is a lot of money, no matter where you live. But, she used to make $20K a month. So, his $17K is no big deal to her. Her baseline of reality is skewed.
Meanwhile, she's stressing over things that are easy. Raising a baby is easy. People just way overcompensate and put way too much thought and stress into it. Keep the infant clean and fed, and include them in your life, and nature takes care of the rest. Honestly.
Bottom line. If he scrubbed the walls, she would complain that he didn't scrub the baseboards.
@@ChicagoFaucet.etc.you’re the first person I’ve ever heard describe raising a baby as easy. Waking up every two hours to feed a child is hard. Changing a sh*tty diaper in a moving squalling child is hard. Paying for daycare when it takes up over half your paycheck is hard. Coming in and caring for a child’s needs when you’re exhausted from your own day, that’s hard. The only people that can describe raising a child today in western society where everything is done by the nuclear family as opposed to an extended societal structure are people that don’t have kids or people that don’t take any responsibility for the raising of their kids.
Drake has no empathy for his wife who had a baby 4 weeks ago. She does not feel safe letting go control because he constantly makes excuses or says he does not see the same problems she does. He is not ready to admit he is disappointed in himself and he is taking it out on his wife. DRAKE- Please read "Fair Play" or "Drop the Ball" if you are interested in saving your relationship and understanding why your wife is so upset with you.
You can't complain about having control if you don't want to give it up she been with this man for how many years so she should know what kind of man he is
I understand Kara’s pain. It was a pivotal moment when she sorted it out. Being vulnerable isn’t something she’s very practice at doing so it was really a golden moment. I was heartbroken when Drake missed the opportunity to acknowledge Kara. It’s been over 27 years since I gave birth to my son. I still remember the joy and the beauty of being a new mom. I also remember the agony of postpartum depression, the frustration of not being able to “do it all”, the anguish of leaving my old life behind. Being a mom is the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I adore my son, and I have loved being a parent. That said, it is typically the woman that gives up her “old life“ but is expected to revel in her husband’s continued progress. It’s difficult to make that shift instantly. Kara and Drake are courageous to come on your show and be so honest and open. I hope that Kara realizes what a gift she’s giving to new moms listening or watching this episode. Being coachable is huge in personal growth. In my first marriage, my husband refused counseling and refused to talk about anything. He stonewalled me at every turn. After 26 years when my son was only 6 1/2 I left the marriage when he told me he would never go to counseling and to never ask him again. I have been in my second marriage 20 years. We have done seminars and counseling together. It’s made such a tremendous difference in our relationship. I’d like to recommend the Gottman method. As a strong, independent woman, it helped me to focus on my relationship with my husband. I can’t wait to see the second half of this conversation. I have incredible faith that both will come to a meeting of the minds and find that their love is the most important thing, and with that all else can be conquered.❤❤
This is so beautiful! Thank you for your insight! 🥹❤️
It’s hard to acknowledge someone else’s hurt when they’re constantly attacking you and putting you down.
She has a lot to do to earn his trust after flipping out over $14, and refusing to congratulate or appreciate him for tripling his income so she can stay at home with the kids.
Could Drake have done better? Absolutely. Can I understand why he had trouble instantly flipping into compassion mode after being berated for almost an hour?
Yes that too.
This was one of the most frustrating episodes to listen to and I loved every minute 😂
I can’t stand when people are so stuck in gender roles! Why is she considered masculine because she earned more money and speaks directly? Why does she have to take on the primary caretaker and housekeeper role specifically because she is the woman? Marriage and parenthood should be a balanced partnership! Theirs clearly is not.
As a mom, I was nodding my head the whole time she was explaining her loss of identity. It’s so true and you really don’t expect it to happen the way that it does. I hope she finds a counselor to speak to about her feelings!
You can't just erase thousands of years of evolution. It's typically very hard for a man NOT to be the breadwinner. He feels emasculated and there's good reason why. These two have a tough road ahead of them.
@@angelarogerson6861troll
Kara is self-imposing the traditional gender role, not Drake, and she is making herself crazy/resentful in the process. Kara's "loss of identity" is the same thing as Drake's "emasculation" (or for any working man, for that matter). Kara needs to accept that she is just not cut out to be a SAHM and housewife; she can hire someone to do those tasks for their family. Kara should go back to running her business; Drake needs to hire a bookkeeper for his business (not use his wife).
@@jeromehenry4484 I'm not sure where you got the idea she's not working. She just had a baby so is probably on maternity leave. PS you can't hire a mom.
@@jeromehenry4484respectfully you might be a delusional if you think the gender roles are not coming from Drake. Even as she described herself as masculine she said "as he tells me". And when a man talks about being emasculated, it signals that he is deeply invested in gender roles. It is only with gender roles that the word can exist.
I'm looking forward to Part 2 and hope this couple can sort things out. Kara had a baby four weeks before this video was recorded. At this point, her body isn’t even fully healed yet from the birth. The baby’s sleep pattern is almost definitely still erratic, so Kara is sleep deprived, and she has to take care of a very young toddler at the same time. In addition, she has become completely disconnected from the person she knew herself to be before becoming a mother. She is at one of the most vulnerable points in her life, and right now, being the man means that Drake needs to give her what she needs to get through this difficult time. There will be other times in their life when Drake is the one in the vulnerable position and Kara will have to set her own needs aside to give him what he needs; there will be times when both are vulnerable and all they can do is cling to each other. That’s what marriage is: going through the highs and lows that everyone has to go through in life and not doing it alone. I truly hope they figure things out.
I’m looking forward to part 2 as well
Couldn't have said this any better!
This is a nice balanced perspective!! Id struggle to be as nice as you are...
Postpartum depression and the loss of identity as a new mum is tough. I hope that they find the middle ground and Kara can stop living in fear for the future. Women need to feel safe in their relationships and it’s obvious she doesn’t feel safe enough to let go.
Women love to have this excuse
Ramit shaking his head when he says “its emasculating…” 😁 and then “wait wait wait where is this coming from” - this is gold.
I feel a lot of tenderness and compassion for Kara. Strong, intelligent woman, going through massive identity shifts and (as it seems) not getting the supports she needs. Good luck!
It seems like she (rightfully) holds a lot of resentment towards him for wanting acknowledgement and appreciation that he not only refuses to give to her but also degrades her for. This episode broke my heart for her, she’s being forced to dim herself and walk on eggshells for an insecure man who would rather force her to be less so that he can feel better. He doesn’t look at her like a partner or like something to be cherished and it’s no wonder therapists wouldn’t “take his side”.
You took these words right out of my mouth.🤷
He wants praise for doing nothing. Wants to be thr king but doesn't want to go to war. It's the new male pathology they call red pill. We used to call it misogyny
Just the bit ALONE that they have a 4 week old baby is crazy. I don’t know how I’d even have been on this podcast when my baby was only about a month old. I was in pure survival mode still, and I’ve only got the one baby. I have no idea how anyone does the newborn stage with an older baby as well. This momma is not getting enough credit for the load she is carrying for her family!!
Agreed !! She is soooo strong
My jaw is on the floor. At first I was thing how Kara needed to be called out for not being “supportive and loving” to her husband’s success, but what came out of Drake’s mouth next just explained everything. Drake doesn’t care about Kara whatsoever. All he cares about is chasing the goal of being the “man”.
Ramit did such a good job facilitating, always so impressed!
Spot on. He completely dismissed her.
The misogynistic things coming out of Drakes mouth is suffocating ….. Kara deserves so much better than catering to this man-child who takes little responsibilities.
@@HMartPennpenn- im so glad to see someone actually call it whatvit is: misogyny
@@ecclairmayo4153 define the term and how it actually applies to the situation. I bet neither of you can. why is everyone so stupid?
I feel for Kara 😩 She's been happy being the breadwinner and in control during their relationship until KIDS and reality hits..
Now she realised she needs/wants support from her hubby as well as financial stability and he finds it emasculating.
She's overworked, stressed and he's right here chilling, expecting a standing ovation for that one 17k check.. 😮💨 Keeping hope for part 2
i don't think that's what he finds emasculating. He wasn't able to financial support before but now he finally can so the 17k is a big deal. You've gotta be able to give up control, in a relationship no one should really be in control anyways. They're keeping too many tabs in their relationship. I feel that's the main issue
@@thelordraj5412but do we know he can financially provide? His gross income is 12k/month and she seems adamant about budgeting because his income is very variable or comes late as they stated. ALSO, what about him not doing any house chores basically putting all the child rearing and house keeping responsability on her?
Just get a housekeeper! It's my therapy. I cannot worry about who's turn it is to wash the kitchen floor or the toilet.@@stephyworld8713
You’re putting this all on him, the same thing their previous couples counselor did. She is experiencing an identity crisis. He is not ignorant either and has gone through his own personal growth. Not to mention handling his ADD. He still has room to grow, but in this particular situation, she is the orchestrator of her own angst.
They have flipped from him having an identity crisis based on her income and masculine tendencies to her having an identity crisis in attempting to embrace her new more feminine role. So he is likely still holding on to his previous angst and desperate to finally let it go through the emotional vomit he showcased at the end of the video. Not saying it’s right, but his emotions are likely bubbling under the surface, despite how calm he seems.
They both feel like they’re drowning. Her from the weight of her new life experience, and him from being held on to while she’s drowning. Have you ever tried to save someone while they’re drowning? They have to relax, or you’re both dead.
TLDR: She needs to relax and show support. He needs to step up and hold himself more accountable. This is not a you first game anymore. It’s a team effort that has to happen damn near simultaneously. These cycles are tough to break. And both need to remove their ego.
@@mygoodlife204I completely agree with having a Housekeeper or any external help. But I still feel that he should help taking care of his kids and household.
45:00 She is a better woman than me because at the moment he complained she only celebrated him, congratulated him, but didn't kiss his neck, I would have destroyed what was left of that man's ego. You want her to go out and bake you a cake while doing everything you do AND cooking, cleaning and raising the kids? You feel insufficient because you *are* insufficient. And it's not about the money you make. It's about the weight you carry in the relationship and right now you're in negative numbers.
This is why high earning men shouldn’t be with masculine women. Masculine women deserve feminine men. Men they can lead.
very true
👏🏽
Yes.
This is why i and many other women choose to remain single. I feel this so deeply from remembering my 2 marriages. The anxiety and lack of support, the single mother marriages, the gaslighting and refusal to take accountability and improve 😢
Single child free women are happier, healthier and wealthier than married women. Being married and having kids is no longer a flex for women. Married women with children are nothing more than married single mothers
The misogyny.
@@notyet2345 if that were true, then women with kids would be the ones ranting and raving online about how sad their lives are. yet it's only the single mothers. wonder how that happened
@@TheForkOnTheLeftisthow do women become single mothers? Because men abandoned them. Only about 60% of single mothers get child support and the average annual child support payment is 3k-5k a year. Add to the lack of child support, we have to also take in to account that the many fathers have no contact leaving single mothers to raise a child alone. I think given the circumstances single mothers have every right to complain about their lives
@@TheForkOnTheLeftist Have you notice single child free women are living their best lives? According to a study in Psychology Today, single, child free women are more likely to be happier, healthier and wealthier than married women with kids. And have have you notice more women are choosing to remain child free and many are also choosing to remain single? Marriage and having kids is no longer a prize to women. Good luck on convincing single, child free women to give up their life of ease to get married and have kids only to end up impoverished single mothers.
I remember when my first baby weaned off of breastfeeding. after about two days I found myself crying in a little ball on the bathroom floor. My boyfriend came in and picked me up and hugged me for the longest time until I came back, I didn't even know where those emotions came from. It was like emotionally and physically my body was in shock from loosing that connection I had with my kid. I felt so bad about myself, the feeling of worthlessness was so real. The emotions we go through as new mothers and also during pregnancy have to be listened to by ourselves and by our partners.
I feel like this "control" issue is a Red Herring..
Most women in Kara's situation would have a hard time feeling SAFE enough to lean on Drake.
I don't see how trying to budget their income especially with his variable income is control. Same with asking to try and earn more money or helping around the house etc..
Let's be honest, she's not really controlling, she doesn't feel safe.
Yup, he doesn’t contribute in a sustainable and consistent way and gives her passive answers. She can’t put in him, which makes her feel very vulnerable and scared. Therefore she does the cloth diapers, the food prep, the budget as a means to feel in control
That was my first thought, “She doesn’t feel or trust him.”
100% agree, I was thinking the same thing! She doesn't trust him as a provider enough to let go (and with reason).
You are spot on, I’ve been there and it’s quite frustrating
spot on!
Is it me or when he got to the part where he was asked about which of his parents earned he wasn’t being dishonest? He said “I believe my father made more.” Then in the next breath said “my mom said the $2,500 check is our money for the month.” 😑
I caught that too!!
So many things he said struck me as less-than-truthful. This guy spends so much effort speaking highly of himself that he is dripping with the sweat of insecurity in his fight to prove to everyone else how worthy he is. Never does he realize he's trying backwards. I don't know how to explain what I mean, lol ... He is just putting so much effort into the exact wrong pursuit
A lot of unexperienced couples councellors can’t spot a narcicissist in a couple, since narcicissits often seem calm and collected and their spouse, often on a verge of the breakdown tends to seem emotionally unstable and gains attention as a source of the problem. The session started to take a right direction in the end, hope it really did…
Yeah he screams narcissist to me.
I spotted the narc within minutes of pressing play. He's awful.
Yeees! With the “masculine” this, “gender roles” and “I’m a man” that. 😅
@@sheislakigender roles but the wife is the bread winner.😂😂😂
@@Nithinithinith 😂😂😂
This was an amazing show. Their arguments were never over just money but about control and lack of identity. I hope they find their solace as individuals and as a unit. I wish them the best. 💕
she needs to divorce his ass......he sucks as a man and head of household. He wants her to give up her business that makes 20k a month so that she can devote her life to cooking, cleaning and washing his crappy underwear. All it would take is for them to hire a maid or nanny, problem solved. But when you marry a man that does not have leadership qualities, you will eventually end up impoverished. This is why women should never, ever give up their financial independence to please her husband. The second you give up your own financial independence, you are trapped.
He wants her to give her 20k a month business to literally just wash his crappy underwear......she needs to run away as fast she can. She's fortunate in that she has the money to take care of herself and her kids. If she stays with him, she will eventually end up in poverty.
This is not a man I would allow to lead my family.
@@notyet2345- the worst part about these types is they are completely incapable of doing the basics in life but they want praise all day for it. Anything less to them is "emasculation"
I totally get what Kara's saying. She feels fragmented, almost destroyed. She barely knows any more who she is. The only constant is that up to last month she's been the major income earner, and there's no certainty that Drake will continue to put in the effort. He said himself that he will only show up for the hard pull of age kisses his neck and lavishes praise in him.
Kara lost so much of what she loved, including her father, in a very short time frame. She's reeling in a whole new world.
Drake is who he's always been - and she's seeing that in a new way.
Yeah Drake has always been this way and there’s no urgency to change his role.
He’s one of ‘those’ personality types. Entitled, superior, unempathetic, manipulative emotionally. Just a thought.
You nailed it!! He is using emotional manipulation (you are emasculating me..you need to give me a kiss on the neck) in order to keep the current status quo of her doing absolutely everything while he does things if he is given a kiss and a thank you 😒 She said she has not been thanked for all her hard work which led to their comfy lives but yet he would not recognize that or give her what he is demanding of her.
@@SaintsandSushi omg that infuriated when he wanted praise for the one month of high income yet doesn’t acknowledge or show gratified for all her work! She’s running her business AND just had a baby AND does majority childcare AND made more money at times!!! He really thinks a paycheck is his value to the partnership but it’s not.
I even get why she’s so frustrated and loses it on little things. The thing he never mentions is how many times he’s actually ‘forgotten’ the joint acct chkbook. He’s absolutely using it as a tool to show her as neurotic esp when he leaves out key details, doesn’t apologize for anything, and escapes any involvement in anything just about.
One word….appreciation. It’s so important for both parties to feel appreciated. You can’t make your partner feel it enough. Your on the same team!!
* You're
@@deirdrekiely6187 you understood what I said. 🤷🏼♀️ literally no one cares.
@@lisarussell5741 words matter
If you can’t pick up on the fact that he is not looking for appreciation, he is looking for manhood in the wrong places then you don’t understand the word, appreciation much like the man in this video…
@@babyyodachelsea7034 I agree he’s also looking for validation of his “manhood.” If he was a secure person he wouldn’t need that. But he also seemed to be looking for recognition of what he’s doing? Which is the definition of appreciation. But honestly I found what he was saying so asinine and irritating I could have missed something. 🤷🏼♀️
A woman having a baby, let alone two, means ZERO to a lot of men, sadly.
Carrying and delivering a baby is literally mind blowing! And let’s not talk about all of what a woman goes through before, during and MONTHS after mentally, hormonally and physically. That’s in addition to CARING for the baby(s), husband, house, and in some cases, a full-time job!
Men cant comprehend but you are correct
no you think having a baby makes you god just like most women. it doesn't. you're doing something peasants can do. something animals have always been able to do. get over yourself
Two babies she says are being taken care by the NANNY SHE CALLS OUT BY NAME??? Poor her! 😅
That's a burden you put on ur self. You don't have to play the masculine role and the feminin role at the same time. Stay in kitchen and raise the beatifull children. And give them a good care. As traditional men, leave the rest for us, provisioning and protecting.
We don't care
This was the most frustrating episode to listen to. I feel like women and girls are socialized our entire lives to factor in everyone else's needs before our own. We're taught that this is caring. We "care" so much, we lose ourselves in the process. From early into the episode, Drake revealed so much about himself. My jaw literally dropped when he mentioned his "ADD" and "creative skills" as an excuse for not being able to participate as much in the family finances. I also have ADHD and I have a career as a creative - a freelance wardrobe stylist. I can't imagine using this as an excuse when it comes to running my own business... again, maybe its a pressure that women are just expected to deal with, while men get a free pass. How is it not a huge red flag to the both of them that multiple therapists have said that he needs to change? He doesn't seem open to any kind of criticism at all...How can you grow as a person and as a couple if one partner isn't open to growth?
It was so immensely frustrating to hear about how he'd called her "nagging" and accused her of emasculating him.. this seems like the perfect example of gaslighting. HIS behaviors cause her to react a certain way, but then she is the villain for having a totally human response? And she is doing it while raising the children that HE fathered, supporting him to pursue his career, and running her own business while supporting the family financially? Honestly, what is he bringing to the table? Besides his huge ego and self importance? So many men think that just being a man is enough. He thinks that because he is a man he is entitled to her affection and praise. He expects her to tiptoe around his feelings and serve him. What about what your wife is feeling?
I can't believe that this is a 38 year old man. The honest truth is that if you told me this were a teenager, I would probably believe it. I really hope that he works on himself. If not, I hope she finds the strength to leave him. It's clear she would be fine without him. She deserves someone who is her equal - and not in a financial aspect, but in terms of maturity.
Yup, they want to be the king but they dont want to go to war. Just praise them because they are male. This misogynist red pill podcast nonsense is ruining men because it encourages a fantasy world where there is rewards for no work.
are you out of your mind? hot girl summer, individualism, literally everything taught in school tells you to abandon traditional gender roles and be a boss bade who cares about nothing but a bag. everything you just said was ridiculous at best
“But I know he heard he’s not doing anything.” BUT HE’S NOT DOING ANYTHING!! Dude…you don’t get the respect like your father had just because you exist. Grow up.
This is what grinds my gears the most about all of this new age misogyny they call the "red pill." They want to be kings, but they dont want to go to war. They want praise for doing nothing. You should just respect them because they are male. Respect is earned
I'm so sick of women being burdened with "being feminine" , not being masculine, etc, etc. She's tip-toeing around his feelings. It's exhausting to even look at. Imagine being in it.
They dont realize that by saying this kind of red pill misogynistic stuff, they are also saying they themsekves are "feminine", but they will never concede that
He was dumb enough to get with a masculine women and wanting her to be feminine
The thumbnail is misleading. It implies that this income is standard for Drake, which is not the case. Drake earned $17,000 one month but that's anomalous. He usually makes around $4,000. Kara has a steady income of around $5,000, which makes her the usual major income earner.
He wants extraordinary praise. What does he give Kara for her carrying the family on a steady basis?
This is exactly it. He wants to be praised constantly for doing his part of the partnership.
I agree with you that Kara has the consistent income; however, that does not change the impact that he has on their household. They need a lot of counseling to find out how to productively communicate their expectations for each other, financially emotionally and physically. The way this was worded, makes their relationship seem transactional. He shouldn't have to earn more to feel appreciated, and she should feel she is losing her identity by showing appreciation to him. I would like to know how he helps her feel appreciated as well, because she doesn't say a lot about how he helps.
A relationship based on how much your Partner earns is most likely to fail..money is just a tool and ple need to be supportive of each other..it sucks when a person ever brings out any good deed he/she ever did in your life
They both should give eachother appreciation. He definitely needs to start, though, because shes obviously feeling resentful.
@@robertndikolansubuga909No people need to be reminded especially men . They feel as is those good deeds are to be expected! NO
Did anybody else almost chocked when he described his dad and Ramit asked him if he felt that way and he said yes? or was it just me?
He does not seem very masculine, nor any of those other things that he described of his father.
I almost spat out my drink.
Wow! Ramit is so good! Soo soo good facilitating the discussion and getting to the root of issues. Well done to the guest for being so open and vulnerable. I always learn so much from each episodes. I see great qualities and qualities to work on and how actions, thoughts and mindset can make another person feel.
This was a good episode! The moment she started talking about masculine energy, I had to take a deep breath. I will say there are some couples that I learn from bc I admire what they do. Then there are others who I learn from bc I see them as a cautionary tale.
Yes he has been telling her this silly "masculine energy" mess and she actually is trying to appease it. Hard to watch. Cautionary tale indeed
I really appreciate being able to hear the experiences of the couples on this podcast. It's also helping me to learn not to make snap judgments about others and their choices. It seems that both partners are feeling under-appreciated for their contributions to their family, each practically begging the other to acknowledge the work they are putting in. This is just one conversation we're seeing over the span of their entire lives but Kara definitely sounds like she is still taking on a lot more than the traditional wife role they seem to want her to fulfill. It was painful to watch the last part-- such a huge missed opportunity to connect. I hope the two can resolve this. Anyway, thanks for providing this content-- I'm learning a ton and am looking forward to part 2.
Totally feel the same way. It’s nice to hear things broken down so you can fully understand the entire situation
It was so raw and real. Kudos to this couple for coming on the show. Life is messy. Thanks Ramit for this podcast which shows we are all humans trying to do our best and that there is hope for us all.
I can relate to the joint account requests. It's a huge burden forcing someone to track and trace everything from multiple accounts when a joint account makes it *transparent* and visible for both parties. I can also relate to being pregnant and trying so hard to get the partner on board to set aside money and calculate a realistic budget for when bub arrives. Mums have to take time off work to recover; they take a hit physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and financially once baby arrives. It isn't often clear to the other partner what's going on inside. Mums are vulnerable during this time of matrescence and need to feel safe and secure.
He wants to be a provider, but he seems to be making this all about him. I don't see him providing any emotioal support to what his wife is going through. I don't think he's mentioned their kids once the whole convo. It's a red flag they have seen multiple therapists and he refuses to believe that he needs to change. I want this to have a happy ending but i am not hopeful.
Yeah I mean if all previous therapists pointed to him as the primary issue, that’s hard to ignore. Not that he can’t come around, it just seems that he refuses to because that would hurt his ego to admit where he’s lacking.
@@bunnybaker2289 that’s exactly it. He didn’t like being called out
Thank you to this couple for opening up. They are very relatable. This is what happens when roles and expectations aren't clear, and I completely understand how hard it must be to change roles over time. That being said, as a woman, of course I feel for her. It's hard to do it all and not get pats in the back either. Women make the mistake to try to be it all and then be resentful because they made it look easy and no one is congratulating them. Happens...To him, I also understand he needs recognition. I hope they can figure things out very soon and set clear expectations for each other, instead of growing resentment, sending love towards them!
Thank you for this thoughtful comment.
His reaction to her opening up is PURE NARSISTIC response. Turn everything around and make it all about him. He's not even able to acknowledge her vulnerability.
He’s basically saying it’s her fault if he doesn’t earn more money. Talk about a BS transfer of responsibility.
He needs her to motovate him yet he wants to lead. Its backwards
Saying "we" instead of "I" is an argument avoidment. I used to do it and it's a 100% a learned behavior from being consistently beat down from trying to express how you are feeling. His dismissal is apparent. He constantly shifts from this what she said to but what about me...me...me....how I feel...me. They need serious therapy or divorce. This just disintegrate as she is conforming and changing who she is but can't speak and he doesn't know how to listen.
Imagine arguing to be the leader but lacking the critical thinking and attention to detail skills to know how to be a leader. Sheesh, I hate this for her
Bingo....any man that wants his wife to give up a 20k a month business to wash his crappy underwear is not leadership material. He made 17k one time where as she has been making 20k a month consistently even before she met and married him. So based on him making 17 one time, she is supposed to give up her business that makes 20k a month. This dude is going to lead both of them to the poor house.
I hate that women can see their husbands suck as leaders and to maintain gender roles, will still allow him to lead.
Say it again!!!
Yup its the same old fantasy story these red pill misogynists want to love in. They want to be the king, but they dont want to go to war. You should just praise them for existing.
Some people get caught up in the perception versus the practice.
Now, the man here, may be heading in a legitimately compassionate route, but it sounds like he wants to be perceived as a great man (like dad) versus actually being a great man.
The months after giving birth are the darkest! Do not make permanent decisions during that time.
Brave, this was a great show. My wife tells me about your show all the time and now I see why she values it and enjoys it. We dont have the same issues as this couple, but we do have issues too. Great show!
So glad you called him out! He’s not listening to his wife. Can’t wait for part 2!
When Kara said she insisted on cloth diapers and then later she said she had to make her daughters food for school despite the school providing food and birthing at home, I figured it was control issues. She's feeling so out of control in her daily life, she's choosing other things to be in control of. She's lost her identity and is trying to create "perfect mom" as her new one.
I feel for her. I was recently laid off from a job and didn't realize how much I'd used my career as my identity. I hope she can find some grace for her to just be Kara and know that's enough and she will never be perfect. If she can give herself grace, then she can give Drake grace as well. With that, I hope Drake will step up in caring for his family and leave his pride and toxic masculinity behind.
Food is a major concern for mothers. I can see that. I don’t see that as control cause she lost it. I look at that protection so she knows if something happens he knows where it comes from vs guessing.
Providing doesn't only mean financially...
Lmao but can you be a provider without it being financially
Ramit Sethi is the most financially and psychologically literate cuddly teddy bear ever haha
Omg when he said that I suddenly felt like a Ramit hug would be such a comforting thing
Interesting that so far no mention of him helping a bit more with the chores or the children. Also when she said "we got pregnant" it was like I was walking down the street and the pregnancy hit me. I get it that late 30s is considered "geriatric pregnancy" but a bit more time to find your balance may have been warranted. I see women all the time that as type A they go into child rearing as if it is just another check off to do item and are then overwhelmed, angry and resentful when in addition to their prior earning role they are expected to be the care giver. I chose not to have kids and I have so many friends that tried to convince me otherwise saying it was "selfish". I can list 3 that self-medicate on a daily basis with wine and other crutches. I learnt a long time ago parenting is typically equated with sacrifice mostly on the part of the mothers, thanks but I will always be in my selfish era.
You're so right about the waiting on getting pregnant. And I appreciate your experience with couples where the woman man many of the sacrifices in the family for children etc. I'm happy to day not in my family between my grandfather and father sacrifice was part of the duty of being father's and grandfather's for them.
Spot on!!
Yeah. I just found it so bizarre that no one talked about him helping out either. But a lot of these men are socialized to not even think about that stuff. Unfortunately, many cultures, reinforce this even more substantially. Oh, they also changed it to advanced maternal age instead of geriatric pregnancy. It’s the same terms they use for men. They basically realized that it depends on your own individual health and there’s nothing unsafe about having a child in your 30s. It’s actually funny but a lot of the data was collected from 1700 French peasants. I personally think it’s bad for women to have kids before 28. So many of them are easy to manipulate at that age and they end up doing a crazy disproportionate amount of labor. Then they end up divorced without a proper nest egg or good career experience.
31:56 I can't help but wonder if this idea that her behaviors are masculine and her "responsibilities as a woman" are feminine comes from Drake
Yup, I think she mentioned at one point "as he says ..."
I really hope she gets immediate mental health support
Hilary, this goes far beyond postpartum blues or even depression. This is very much about the dynamic between her and Drake, and the new circumstances are simply stripping away all the layers of insulation.
Great podcast I loved the way you navigated it! Imo I don’t think it’s as much of a money problem as it is a relationship problem.
the end of the podcast is SO telling of Drake's maturity.
He knows he needs to do better (lift more weight with the money, kids, house chores...) but he doesn't want to do it because it's "emasculating" being told to.. 😑
But how much higher can he go? He’s projected to make 144k/year and she’s making 84k. This is simply a control issue, and she has a problem releasing the control.
@@denisecampbell9563she was making more than his $144k before kids so if her standard of living is lower being with him then yeah that’s a problem.
Yep, he needs to step up but wants to be seen as a role model without putting in any of the work.
It’s really childish honestly. In my opinion, chores should be split equitably regardless of how much money is brought in
She needs to realize you give some things up when you have children. They are number one, not some high falutin' job.
disagreements about money are never about money. how people feel about each other sips through the convo and takes over. Hope they figure it out and hear each other and show up for one another better.
I don’t think she wanted to say it…but if I was in her shoes, the reason wouldn’t be because I don’t want to be “the captain”. It would be because I was resentful. She’s been doing it (and MORE) for years and nobody kissed her on the shoulder :/
Ramit you are a great therapist lol! Look at the breakthrough that the former therapist couldn’t do. Pure talent sir!
Loss of identity, I feel you girl. I left a job after 25 years that I absolutely hated. I still felt like I was adrift even with time, interests and potential hobbies and work at home. I was shocked at my lack of direction.
My heart goes out to her, I feel you, Sis!!❤
Now I also see why the therapist said he needs to change! 😭
I wish Ramit would talk to people with more normal incomes instead of every couple making over $250,000/yr
Dang he used her heartfelt admission as amo. Listen I think I hated my husband after I had my first kid. He (and I) just couldn't understand why I was so mad at him ao much of the time. Its all the things Kara said. He eventually heard me and things are so much better. We go at things like a team. Its so hard to celebrate your spouses' win when it feels like you the primary everything. In other words find out why healthy lunches are important and just start making them so you can both have fun on the 4th of July
CANNOT WAIT FOR PART 2 THIS WAS TOO GOOD
This was trash
I am at 27.52. The point where she describes me. Just hearing someone else feel that means the world. I'm not crazy. I'm not alone. I can change the behavior!
I can totally understand her frustration. Trying to get him to provide financial information that would just answer her questions needed to manage the budget should not be so difficult.
He doesnt even now where the money is going yet he wants to lead
This whole episode has strong manosphere vibes, and I'm real curious how Ramit is going to handle that in Part 2. 😅
Lol right?
When he said he wanted appreciation all I thought was 'you can't negotiate genuine desire.'
This is normal in most relationships I have encountered. The men want to lead but have no clue about finances. Truth be told will not take advice from you unless someone backs up your point
@@tam6011- another man backs up your point. The misogyny
I feel for both of them. Kara feels insecure in her current role and is trying to regain "control" by trying to control the finances... she says she wants a partner, but in reality she wants Drake to follow her lead. On the other hand, Drake wants her recognition as a provider and is stuck on this loop of telling her shes doing it wrong (you emasculate me etc) when that will never make her feel like she is doing well as a wife either lol. He doesnt give her any comfort in that moment when she basically says she feels out of sorts. I think at the end of the day Kara wants to feel competent and Drake wants to feel appreciated. Maybe i read that wrong but i wish them the best. Im looking forward to the next episode.
Funny how only the men can see this and every woman basically sees Kara as a victim and call Drake manipulative. They have been conditioned to see men as bad.
@@TastyFarts5 Not sure what you mean, as I am a woman... maybe the conditioning has gone both ways. Cheers.
This is soo relatable!! Going from a strong working woman (without kids) where you feel completely competent, to working mom is HARD. I have 3 young boys and it is still hard to juggle the work and all the anxiety that comes with parenthood. I hope you can create a team environment with your husband and come up with shared goals. And if you can afford to outsource menial tasks that makes things easier :)
Such a brilliant woman.... Why she couldn't wait for someone better? She doesn't deserve to support 3 kids... One of whom is feeling emasculated and not kissed enough on the neck... I feel so bad for her!
He wants respect and admiration and then maybe he will give her something to respect him for...
He gives her nothing to praise!
Because he is the only one goNna put up with bs
I CAN'T WAIT AN ENTIRE WEEK FOR PART 2..!!!!
LOL
I GOT GOOSBUMPS when she truthed her truth!! I FEEL THAT!!! am I becoming something TOTALLY AGAINST what I always saw myself as if I boost him for doing what I've been doing this whole time. Man!!! This motherhood life...😅❤ Such a trip
This couple is so relatable for me, thank you
This blows my mind how all these comments can make excuses and relate to Kara, but drops the Sledge hammer on Drake, A man that is a top 20% earner in the whole US.
Top 10% even
What % was she prior to having children?
That’s what I thought. So sit down and appreciate that women are literally running circles around men in out earning them.
woo, yes 27:42 ❤
46:45 😢 i feel what she is saying. I've been married for 7 years so far. both partners need to acknowledge the other their efforts and the work that they do in and outside of the home.
They both need to celebrate each other. Marriage is a partnership...each spouse is a ½ of the team.
This was the best interview. God bless them❤.
I think the final response Ramit was looking for from Drake was “I’m sorry you feel like you’ve lost yourself and that you’re doing a mediocre job. You are doing a great job! But how can I help you not to feel those things?”
Not faulting Drake. Adjusting the way you’ve become accustomed to communicating for years, in 1 hr, probably isn’t easy.
But I hope he can get there. And they both get to a place where they are secure in themselves and how they contribute to the family/finances and can show appreciation for what the other contributes.
Eagerly awaiting part 2.
I had to switch from podcast to RUclips about halfway in. So many unspoken facial expressions and deep confessions from Kara. I don’t think this couples primary issue is financial, it’s more along the lines of solo vs partnership. Each person believes their contribution is all that matters separately from their team goal of winning together within a marriage. I agree with other commenters here about gaslighting and loss of identity, but I think there are 100 other warning signs here for a troubled future if both partners don’t change the way they view their role in the marriage. I wish them well, especially since they could be reading all of these comments in the future (put the needs of your partner before yourself Drake)
I really struggled to listen to this. As a mother who struggled with identity loss, it is painful to hear someone else going through it. Doesn't help that your partner is a manchild in need of constant reassurance and neck kisses lest he feel emasculated. Give me a fucking break. I'd be giving solo parenting a try as Drake is all about himself. You're a strong, successful woman and you deserve better.
That husband ain't listening at all. This is what you get when you marry a man child. She busted her ass for 3 years and he wants to be put on a throne, all because of 1 check.
He needs to bring that 17k consistently for 6 months for her to trust him like that.
A misogynist man child
Did he blame his shortcomings on ADD?!😂
I am Team Kara, but ADD is a REAL challenge for finances and for being a parent.
My question is, how does he celebrate her accomplishments?
He doesnt
Holy shit, Drake wants a gold star and a bloody party every single achievement. And Kara needs to be a perfect housewife - - but still bring in money so they can still live comfortably.
He wants a participation trophy!!
damn 10/10, this episode was amazing!! Thanks for sharing.
That hour went by so quick that I was surprised when you said tune in next time when we go through the numbers!
OMG where is part dos of this one ????😮
It was never about the $14. It was an accumulation of time and time again having to ask for help and feeling alone. Ugh I’d be so frustrated if I were her.