“We spend 154% of our income & refuse to change”
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- Опубликовано: 6 ноя 2023
- Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich follows up with Trin and Lucas, both 35. We chip away at an unmanageable fixed-costs percentage and broach Lucas’s unwillingness to seek salaried employment while navigating severe trust issues and a checkered past with respect to financial risk taking.
Watch Part 1: • “We have $285,000 of d...
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Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
Hello @ramitsethi & team.
I have enjoyed every episode I have listened to / watch so far. Thank you for that.
However, I keep running into the same issue every time I am being suggested one of the videos on here. I can never tell by the title of the video if it’s part one or two of the podcast/video. Also when I am listening to it on Spotify it’s difficult to find the words episode in here because there are no numbers to the episode. You know you keep saying in the podcast “ head over to you tube to see their reactions and body langue.” It’s a bit tricky if there is no number and only a catch phrase as title.
Could you please improve on that? That would be great. Thanks a lot in advance.
Oh I just noticed that sometimes there is a tiny number in the top right corner of the thumbnail.
Frankly, it’s hard to see even though I have iPhone 14 max pro and lasik surgery 😂
It would be great to have something in the title.
Hi Ramit, Is that budgeting tool (that you put in the numbers) is it available for the general public to use? or where can i find it??
Hi Ramit, thank you for the reminder. Your approach to helping couples who show their vulnerability is very, very much appreciated.
Honestly, I got chills when she said she changed her mindset to it being a PRIVILEGE to serve her family healthy food. Realizing that eating out wasn’t the luxury, but staying home and using quality ingredients to create vitality for her little family. Good job mama!
I loved that she's stepping up to provide more for the family financially, but I wonder if he's stepping up on childcare and household chores, because the way she spoke about their food budget made it clear she was solely responsible.
Same feeling
Absolutely
the power of reframing is so great. perspective all day
So after The bachelorette trip that they all went on, staying at the four seasons in New Orleans, within weeks they went on a "family trip for a week and a half to two weeks" and you don't call them on that? With that behavior it's going to take some huge adjustments on both of their parts.
You are giving a lot of passes -- it's a pattern that began before the doordash and before other bad habits, obviously.
Boy the change this took compared to the first episode is massive. His defensive diminished. He’s more humble and honest. The power of talking and holding space should not be underestimated
Wow, watching this reminded me of my late fiancè. A believer and an optimist, waiting for the big thing to fix it all. I was young amd let him lead too much, ran our finances and credit into the ground. Once he passed, I snapped out of it and I've been on this conscious financial journey since 2020. Haven't missed a payment since, got an emergency fund, life insurance for my daughter and I and so much more. Only up from here💗 You guys got this!🎉 It's you and her against the problem, not you two against each other.
So sorry about your fiancé, great advice
That is great for you and your daughter. Hoping you continue to prosper. However, if your late fiance` ran your finances into the ground, and you see the same with this couple; why do you promote that she stay with him? It would be healthier for her to run after over a decade of bad decisions by him.
Early on I found this conversation really frustrating. He has control of the finances. He has created a system that she can't possibly navigate and then he blames her for spending the money when he doesn't have the information to make those decisions logically. Yet they BOTH eat out, they BOTH go on vacation. I don't think he is good with finances, but he won't let her in to help and he won't take the responsibility. Finances are a two person job if you are in a relationship where your finances are intertwined. There is no room for being territorial in this situation.
Yeah she was probably eating out thinking everything was okay. I understand why she cried in part 1
Agreed but she's also an adult and should have taken more interest in her affairs. We give roles in marriage but what we forget is that both parties should be equally invested and both parties have responsibility. I saw them taking the right steps together through this podcast to try and right the ship and be a team again.
@@darryljoseph7101 Yep, but some people go into a marriage assuming that the other person will have their best interests at heart. And also they can be very convincing at telling you they know exactly what they are doing and you can trust them to get things right. Plenty of couples will have one side who is happy to leave the finances to the other party.
@@darryljoseph7101The benefit of being in a partnership is that you trust your part to have BOTH your interests at heart and to be transparent. So if he was leading on finances while she focused on leading in other areas, I can see why it can be frustrating. She trusted him and I dont think its fair to come hard on her. If she kept asking him and hovering over his shoulder to check then you guys would say she was undermining him or whatever. This is why it’s important to act like a partnership and not be so obsessed with roles.
@@workinprogresssince1974 (Admittedly I have barely gotten into this episode, so I don't know their true situation...) Sometimes one partner downright lies about their finances, and gets defensive if questioned, so the other does not realize the family members need to tighten their belts on spending.
Kudos to Ramit for how he handled this difficult conversation. Glad this couple has their eyes open finally. Getting on the right track is half the battle.
His wild calculations with paying off credit cards are mind blowing. He is trying to manage debts instead of managing money they earn.
This
The contrast of Trin not factoring in her PhD and career prospects because it's "in progress" and Lucas constantly coming up with fantasy numbers of his entrepreneurial success is unreal.
I can relate to her. It doesn’t feel real yet & he has made her feel like he will always be the delegator & main bread-winner.
When people say "girl math" and "boy math" this is what they're talking about lmao
the guys is delusional....Chemical engineering makes 100k-200k in California, yet he doen't want to work as a chemical engineer....really makes me wonder if he lied about having a degree.
@@penthousewhippitThat is total bullshit. Many, many women are far better at the math than men are.
I get this horrible feeling Lucas is placating his wife and Ramit. Give it a month and it’ll be back to “get rich quick,” controlling, deluded Lucas. It also says a LOT that the first thing Lucas wants to get rid of is counseling. Ramit should have explored this more.
i'm sorry to say that I suspect the same thing... Just because his idea that being rich is RIGHT around the corner is SO deep within him, and how he's obviously spent years THINKING about finances without ever doing the basics... ugh. I wish him the best though.
That's why Ramit made it clear to continue counseling. Lucas is constantly after new and shiny things.
I appreciate how committed they are to giving their church a 10% tithe but give me a break, they need that $800 NOW. They can resume tithing when they're in a better financial situation.
It is crazy to me how much tithing is embedded into some people that they will be literally be broke but still giving. That’s not noble. I saw a woman post her debt confession and budget on RUclips. She’s a single parent to an infant with no child support, and she is a teacher who only gets paychecks during the school year but had $0 saved for the summer months and no plan for a summer job. She was STILL tithing $400 monthly. Absolutely mind boggling. There’s no talking reason in that situation.
I agree. I also believe you can tithe with your time, it doesn't only have to be monetary.
You can't give 10% when you don't have it. He doesn't understand that. If he literally made a budget he would see that. Also, they aren't counting the $1000/month eating out.... So again, he doesn't have $800. He has maybe $50 to give.... Side note/self reflection: If you spend any time at a church in west africa, you can see how big tithes are. They literally make a big deal about how much money you give and have the wealthier people come first, dance a little, etc. and then drop money. The poorest people come in a line, head down and just drop the money off. I wounder is this is part of a cultural thing where not giving is all about ego/poverty.
When ramit said is it required? I stopped paying tithes several years ago and it was a big saving for me with no regrets. People should really ask themselves why do you need to tithe?
Their tithing is costing them $9600/year, $48k/5 years and $96k/10 years 😅
I push back on all of you. When people are broke Tithers it is often related to something else. In this case, they should have never bought that Mazda! If you think , just cut tithing to save money, there is some more growth in the faith department that needs to happen. Tithing is part of a believers walk just like not murdering people or cheating on your spouse. It is bigger than the dollar amount.
This was quite the roller coaster ride! I found myself shaking my head much of the time. When I let go of judgment and looked at the human aspect, I have a lot of admiration for Lucas and Trin for not only being willing to expose their financial and emotional life to thousands of people but also for being willing to make big changes in their lives. I think a lot of young people get caught up in the FIRE movement without looking at the big picture and keeping things straight and simple. You are changing lives Ramit!💜
Giving 10% of your income to an religious institution when your house is on fire and you have no savings and thousands in debt is absolutely INSANE.
Giving 10% of your income to a religious institution is insane
@@kelly7997100%
Absolutely is.
Like put that toward ANYTHING ELSE
He’d prefer to cut therapy than tithing 😮
My biggest question throughout both of these episodes was why was Lucus so dead set on doing EVERYTHING BUT getting a consistent job. Dreams are risky and unfortunately his dreams didn’t pan out according to his plan. instead of creating a different plan he seemed set on going back to this one goal of having real estate. It sounds like he obtained a great degree and it’s too bad he’s not pursuing something consistent in that field.
The church contributions was also sad to me. Faith and how people go about it is different for everyone, but the fact that they weren’t willing to budge on the 1k+ they contribute to the church and don’t contribute that to their own savings really took the cake for me.
What's worse is that if their income was to increase because his real estate dream worked out, 10% of that would also go to their church rather than the family dream he keeps crying about. I don't mean to sound condescending, it irks my nerve because he can't have it both ways. It's either your family or your church.
As a self-employed contractor, I always keep my fixed expenses etc below the lower end of my income range, so when it’s higher, the overage goes to savings & sinking funds.
this is the way!
So important. He is so focused on what his business brings in but he needs to be focused on what he'll have after the hefty tax bill that freelancers/entrepreneurs pay.
Always. I also take 30% of sales and set aside to pay taxes.
They’re strapped for cash but yet they’re still paying for a cleaner and lawn care!
Makes no sense. They need to do those tasks themselves.
And UberEats 3x+ per week 🤦♀️
and religion
Religion is fine as it might be a big part of their identity but yes, they are living way beyond their means ! And doing housework is a good functional exercise anyway
And a house cleaner!
While I absolutely appreciate these folks for doing the hard job coming on this podcast, but I do not think these folks are ready to change. All subscriptions can be gone, housekeeping gone and by cooking more they can drastically reduce the food budget. I understand their want to keep tithing but you cannot help others if you don't have your financial house in order and that is biblical. Finally, Lucas can get a job and pursue entrepreneurship on the side until it is feasible to move full time into entrepreneurship. I do wish them luck because I know it can be hard.
Right? They live like they’re rich. Every subscription imaginable, eating out and using DoorDash of all things. House cleaners, lawn service etc. People really are clueless.
I agree - he needs to get the job for which he went to school and will make excellent money. He can work that job for 5 years to get the family out of debt and well into the black. No reason he can't have a side hustle that can become a full time gig once they are in great financial shape. You could just tell he did not want to get a regular job. He is always pursuing the hustle.
I share your concerns, but his update was really SPECIFIC on what he needed to do differently and that gave me hope for him.
A great part 2 Ramit! Thank you. One of my favorite episodes. Okay, the mom in me is saying: Chemical Engineer in civil service can make a great income, health care, and a pension! It's also 9-5 leaving room for him to do something fun on the side (Rental investments for example) Her getting her PhD and becoming a professor can possibly take care of college education for their children. They have so many possibilities in front of them! Sending them all the love and support for them to succeed!
I was looking for this comment. They could be making $200k easy with their skills in gov't, with all the benefits you mention above.
I don't understand how your videos aren't more popular. I find your videos so captivating, so many lessons are learned, and you spend so much time on the emotional and psychological relationship with money. Ramit - great work. Really enjoy your stuff!
I think part of it is that these are the same as his podcast. Listeners won't re-watch the videos, since they're the same, even down to the ads.
How are lawn care and house cleaning fixed costs??? Clean your own house and mow your own lawn!!! My goodness..
I make double their total salary and I've never stayed a the Four Seasons hotel -- not because I didn't want to, but because the cost per night (~ $1,000) is pricey for my income. Last year I traveled to 4 continents & 8 countries and I was able to enjoy some luxury at $200-$400 per night hotels/airbnbs instead. So when he says 3-4 nights or 2 week stays I'm thinking these are $10k-$20k vacations. This isn't needed to have a memorable vacation friends. 🙂
Same. VRBO is great!
I almost drove off the road when he said we went on a family vacation while moving for TWO WEEKS. They were already not in a good situation. I work for an airline, so tickets are FREE, and I still don’t take two week vacations.
Yes! And they don't always have to go to expensive destinations. South/Latin American vacations are very affordable and memorable.
Me and my partner are doing these while we're young and healthy, and saving the more pampered vacationed spots (like Western Europe) when we're older and may need the accessibility accommodations, guided tour busses, etc
We make 10x+ their salary and I’ve never stayed at a Four Seasons. I can usually find very nice hotels for half the price, it seems like a huge waste of money to me.
My favorite part is when Lucas changed his income from 8k to 18k. Tadaa problem solved!
I know right? So easy lol!
So grateful to the couples that are willing to be so vulnerable. Listening to these podcasts serves the purpose of helping me understand my own traumas around money - and to help me realise that everyone has them and how to think rationally about money rather than emotionally.
I wonder if they attend a church that preaches the prosperity gospel. It would explain his thinking & optimism in his work being profitable and successful regardless of the actual numbers.
This!
in part 1, everything the husband describes in his way he earns money, he describes get rich quick scams, yes if they are going to church, its likely reinforcing the idea that the scams is a way of life.
I don't think I've EVER been earlier to a video. Thirty seconds after upload?! My fiancé and I have been talking about them and their situation since last week. Very excited to watch the resolution.
This idea that being an entrepreneur will make all your dreams come true is a fallacy. Being a success at a business is work and it can take years to build it up to the point that you're pulling in enough to gain financial freedom. I think he needs to put his degree to use and get a steady income until he can find a business idea that is a match for their family. You don't always have to quit your job cold turkey when starting a business.
I was just going to make a similar comment. Being a business owner and/or entrepreneur and being a salaried employee do not need to be mutually exclusive. I had side hustles while I worked full-time. I then worked part-time self-employed for several years and recently I made the decision to take a position with an employer again to boost income. I hope what Lucas and listeners can gain is that being employed as a lot of perks. You can build financial security, gain skills, network, and gain inspiration for your next big business idea. Working in engineering for a decade and then building a company in your mid-40's or 50's is totally doable!
💯
They will never get it together with him at the helm being an “entrepreneur”. Dude needs a steady job with more predictable income. They need to stop tithing until they can afford to tith. They’re putting themselves in debt while giving high interest money to the church.
Yes, any church leadership with integrity would understand. But social pressure is a phenomenon. They probably pull up in that new SUV and don't want to be judged.
I hope it's not one of those churches that publish exactly what families tithe week-to-week. That's so toxic
Yes, tithing infuriates me!
Tithing infuriates me too. I was in debt and stopped tithing (after tithing for 16+ years) once I stopped tithing and applied that money to my debt, I was out of debt in a few years!
Before then, I was tithing money but putting groceries and other necessities on my credit card (and not paying it off at the end of the month because I couldn’t afford to). I look back and realize how crazy that was!
Ramit outright telling them not to cut the counselling was a top moment.
The Tithe is what’s killing them though. To Tithe while you’re in debt is crazy, giving $10k per year to the church is not going to work with how much they owe, their lack of savings, and their grand plans.
Arguing religion is not a safe road to go down
@@truebengalsfan I mean, people are free to give their money to the most powerful non-governmental institution on earth, but to do so while you’re drowning in debts and have 0 savings is dumb. Take 6 months off, put 5k to use on your own issues, and then go back to it.
@@joshdawson5850 I 100 percent agree with you but I think ramit didn't dig in on this because he didn't want to open up that can of worms
Yeah, that tithe is a joke. They need to drop it.
Absolutely, tithing is killing them. Insane that they’re willing to reduce rent, groceries etc but not cut out completely on tithing. I hope their church helps them instead.
We have been on a recession since the beginning of 2022, but big media and governments all over the world didn’t want to admit it. We need to be wise and use our brains. Knowledge is power and I’d like all the family to be powerful! Just purchased some PbatesLTD Thanks for keeping us informed during this times of doubt?
Do you know what a recession is? Ya know... Gdp and numbers like that? You have not been in a recession since 2022. That's a bunch of nonsense
Maaaaaaan, I feel even worse for Trinity. This man has no real plan, no back up plan, but talks himself up as being an "entrepreneur" like Ramit is.
Ramit speaks clearly, and Lucas speaks in circles. They are not the same.
This man has so much pride that he's unwilling to consider getting a 9-to-5 if his business fails... yet he can't manage his personal money (or business).
For what it's worth, I think it's understandable for Ramit to put tithing on the table, but that's INCREDIBLY important for many people and I'm glad he laid off of it when they pushed back (it's like the only thing they showed unity on).
I’m sure there are legit smaller churches out there who spend the money well, however, some denominations have billions of dollars and are stealing from people who are struggling.
They don't have to tithe the whole 10% right now. They are beyond paycheck-to-paycheck
They need to be asking their church for help, not tithing.
It’s really not stealing. This couple needs to use common sense is all. They can not give right now.
If they don’t want to give up the $800 for tithing they need to cut $800 from somewhere else like the remaining subscriptions and other fixed costs.
It seems that Lucas uses "for my/our family" as a justification for their spending" and as a get out of jail free card. Trin does it too. Her excuse is that she genuinely didn't know their financial situation.
Yes ! They are delusional if they think they are doing it for their family !
200k student loans to earn 75-100k is crazy to me.
Exactly what I thought. 2nd year accountants earn $75k a year after getting a bachelor's degree at literally any public university in the country.
U can make all u need to make on a simple undergrad
@@beetdiggingcougarwith a phd, she could easily start her own business once she gets experience
@@rylandallas9907 I know exactly zero PhDs with their own business. I'm a tax accountant and deal with a lot of business owners. Most PhD holders would not have the correct big picture mindset to run their own business.
W interest prb lot more
Does she realize what the job market is like for college professors? Colleges are getting rid of tenured professors and adjuncts are only getting a few classes, if that. Unless she plans to go into primary or secondary education. And he needs to get a job. He needs to understand that there is NOTHING WRONG with working a 9-5 while building your business.
I am almost to the end. This dude will do anything to keep from getting a job! We have a family member like this but the dude is now 80 and still flat broke. He is above water only because he married someone with a state pension! Fam member was always in one MLM “opportunity” after another and trying to pull the rest of us in. Tip: don’t every say “pyramid scheme”😂
Wow! At the end when Ramit read both of their applications submitted to the podcast. Lucas would like to build wealth and support his family from a distance. Doesn’t seem like Lucas wants to work. This has been a series of unfortunate events and poor decision making on both their parts. I would not combine my life and bear children with anyone who has shown me, prior to marriage and children, that they are not capable of managing finances, doesn’t want to work, and planned to leave me with the burden of meal prepping, cleaning, and taking care of children while working full time and finishing a PhD. Also, a PhD to teach? So many poor decisions 😞
To teach at a university as a PROFESSOR (and maybe even doing stipend funded research for the university) a PhD is required.
@777sweett777 their point is that she put in a lot of money, time, and effort just to get a mid paying job
The reason they couldn’t do Dave Ramsey or similar programs is because they don’t want to FEEL the pain of their debt. They want a magical ATM to just give them more money whenever they need it. They need to STOP SPENDING MONEY, get HIGHER PAYING JOBS, and PAY THEIR DEBT. That’s it and that’s all.
Lucas gotta get the hell out of his dream. If he is so good at "projection" etc, the family would not be terribly in debt now.
I think it’s absolutely crazy that this man bent his mouth to ask his wife does she understand where they’re at financially? I think she does. The question is does he?
Nice work. I’ve been on the PbatesLTD train for a while, never sold as they are always building.
I'm so stressed after seeing their update at the end. He has slowed down but is still planning to do some damage to his family's finances later. Ma'am, run.
Exactly, he's going to finally save some money then blow it on a "sure thing"
Love this podcast as it’s a reminder that these are REAL people. It was all the same conversation but I can see as the conversation came along both of them realize that they (not just one of them) needs to change. Great job Ramit
There is no way I would be tithing 10% of my income when I can't even afford to live. Also there is a LOT of money you can save by cleaning your own home and cutting your own lawn.
I’ve noticed that tithing is a staple amongst a certain cohort here on financial/budgeting youtube. Blows my mind too.
I guarantee you that there is someone at that church telling them if they tithe that God will “bless” them. It’s magical thinking mixed in with a bit of fear. (Ie God won’t bless them if them don’t give ten percent.) I would encourage them to look at whether this is consistent with the New Testament and what it says about being “saved by grace.”
TLDR: trust that God will be a good father to you whether you tithe or not.
Ps Dave Ramsey rams titheing in with the rest of his schtik because he knows that being in churches is his BIGGEST cash cow that’s how he made millions- he knows that the only way churches promote his program is that he preaches tithing and he can show the numbers that giving goes UP after they implement his programs (and pay big bucks for it.) Dave Ramsey is such a scammer, but he knows where his bread is buttered…therefore “tithing” is reinforced in all his materials.
I don't think tithing is required as it was meant before to be a storehouse for the poor or times of famine. However, you should have a giving mindset and give when and how you can if you follow Christian beliefs.
The tithe represents the “first fruits of our labor” that belongs to God. It is not the money … it is the motive . Everything comes from God therefore “everything belongs” to God . The tithe is the gratitude ❤we share for what God has provided to family and in resources in our lives today and our future.
Love the PbatesLTD content. I think this project is just as essential as HBAR and they both will be great movers
When they said Four Seasons my jaw dropped. My partner and I make over 400k HHI and it still doesn’t make financial sense for us to stay at such expensive hotels.
I think Ramit would disagree with you unless you dont care to stay at fancy hotels
@@LeesaLilHoptrue. Ramit would say: if this is important to you, sacrifice in other areas. But… they don’t seem to know what’s important to them, and they don’t know what they can afford.
I love how these conversations inspire and force the couples to be honest and accept accountability by shedding their egos about the situations.
Time and time again my mouth dropped listening to Lucas's comments. He calls himself an entrepreneur yet he seems completely clueless about basics such as forecasting, profit and loss, and revenue and expenses. He is the type of entrepreneur who needs a COO to run the day to day operations so that he can keep his head in the sky and dreaming. Trin needs to own being the COO of their household.
agree -- she has a solid head on her shoulders.
He seems to be a government budget analyst better than a business owner.
Unfortunately, just like he won't give up being an failed entrepreneur, he won't give up the power over the finances and their household.
I can’t stand when a man rolls his eyes at his wife or during a conversation with her. She is not your enemy bruh. He needs to grow up.
Wow. One of the best two episodes in a while (although I am an avid fan). Ramit your skills really shine through with this couple, was very fun to watch. Proud of these humans for taking accountability and taking steps towards change ❤
Yes, massive kudos to Ramit for not screaming through the microphone the many times some of us would have... hahahaha
ramit, the way you help people UNDERSTAND themselves and their ways is just amazing. i learn and learn and learn. thanks!
It’s unfortunate that she’s working full time, and looking after the kids, dogs and now will be doing 100% of the grocery shopping and cooking everyday.
I didn’t get to that part…wait she works and doesn’t manage her own money? 😮 oh dear
Right?! It all falls on the woman. Is he going to cook, meal plan, and clean house?
AND going to school. and they are moving the weekly house cleaner to monthly... I'm guessing that will fall onto her too.
I mean they are trying but someone who wants to argue gross income vs net income when you're dead a** broke is WILD to me.
As a PhD, you aren't going to easily make what you are hoping. The competition for adjuncting is so high and adjunct pay stinks.
Right?! I was wondering on average if adjuncts make 80k
@@rerungirl adjuncts make table scraps. it's what MS dropouts work as when they can't find any other job on the planet.
This financial wizard can’t understand gross and net income, is in “control” of his money…. This guy is nuts.
I think he's got a side hustle where he doesn't have to pay taxes on it. NO other reason why he doesn't understand that concept - He's not that stupid. If you haven't side hustled before, chances are you would never think of it.
Let’s not forget he followed Robert Kiyosaki whose Rich dad s advice was to skimp on taxes and pay to employees and hence net being higher than gross ! Lol. Shout out to Michael Hobbs and Peter Shamsheri podcast if books could kill
@@traceycameron2200It's because he took money out of the business that month and considered it part of the income.
His business is basically a piggy bank for the family. Regardless, it's still wrong since the money he pulled from the business would still be part of the gross...
And he's gonna have to pay taxes (quarterly) at the back end. Probably not even doing that...
People do not need a blasted SUV. It's perfectly possible to have kids without one. You endanger other people. FFS. Car payments are just more debt. The good thing about this family is that they half their outgoings overnight. Sell cars, stop eating out, stop going on holiday, get rid of your credit cards, sell properties, get a job. They have the resources to live well if they stop blowing money on stupidity. Many people don't have those resources (income, qualifications, owning property). This couple already have everything they need, if only they could see it. Ditch the rest. Religion is doing them no favours.
As a frugal family who had three teenagers, a SUV or mini van was a necessity. We did a lot of traveling in that vehicle.
They can’t fit all their kids in their current cars with car seats. A SUV I’d reasonable but they definitely could’ve picked a cheaper one. I have an equinox and they’re easily under 20k used and have 0 issues if taken care of.
They could have bought a decent used SUV for the amount of the down payment they made.
They don't need a bigger car when they are raising _babies_ ...when they get their finances together they can get a bigger car just in time to fit bigger kids with extracurricular activities. Now, they wouldn't be able to afford the activities you would need a bigger car for
@@vulpixelful you need a bigger car raising babies than you do teenagers lol. Even though a backseat is 3 seats it can’t fit 3 car seats if it’s not big enough! The car seats are what the extra room is needed for. Not the size of the person necessarily.
Can we talk about how they were paying $600/month in subscriptions??? How in the hell?? For two adults and young children? 😳
totally agree! Netflix and maybe a couple others is less than $100. I don't think Ramit should include gym here, though. While you can cut that if absolutely necessary, it's more important than entertainment.
That should’ve been the first to go. Cut it to $0
This is definitely one of my top 3 couple conversations on this podcast. I really appreciate how open they both were with their experiences and expectations, especially Lucas. Thank you Trin and Lucas, there is A LOT of love and respect and i think for the first time in their finances, this is a two man team. I wish them the very best in their financial journey. Thank you so so much for sharing these stories Ramit. I would love if you could upload more frequently throughout the week!
1:00:09 mark: Lucas does his best to fight his pride.
“You talking bout a job?”
Seriously - that would normally be the first thought. I’m an Engineer! We make big money and that large income could fund an entrepreneurial side hustle until they are out of the hole.
For real. It is crazy he doesn’t think there is a job out there that pays well. What i suspect is he was not good at his job and maybe he has ruined his reputation so he can’t work in engineering. To me that is the only logical conclusion to why he can’t think he can find a good engineering job.
his business is such a mystery to me. I wish Ramit would have explored this. Is he running a business that relates to his field or not? When did he finish school, and did he ever work as a chemical engineer?
@Capycorg I thibk in the first episode, he said he stopped engineering and started some real estate business... but if that's the one that went bankrupt, then not sure what his current business is now?
Ramit, your channel is my absolute favorite. Your take on finances along with a bit of psychology with it is just incredible. I wish you posted more often but I certainly look forward to every single video you do post. Keep up the great work!
counting down the days until Tuesday each week.....
It's called wanting everything I want NOW!!! They will be working at 75 years old to make ends meet or at least wave at each other. SAD.
Listening to both episodes and then hearing their follow ups has been a beautiful experience. Tysm Ramit!
@ramitsethi can you do an update from couples a year later so we can see how their changes have stuck?
I truly wish they had ongoing financial help for the next 6--24 months to get themselves in a better position.
These two episodes were my favorite. Lucas & Trin were extremely brave to share their story. I saw the light bulb moments. I'm cheering for them.
Lucas and Trin. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Your courage and openness is inspiring. Really hoping you take Ramit’s counsel to heart. Once you have eliminated debt and have some savings, some of the tension in your relationship will abate.
Too many people want to retire at 35-40 years old. Not possible for the vast majority of people, you would have to make and invest enough to live comfortably for 45 years.
To do that you have to be already investing at age 18 and sacrificing your early 20s and 30s on luxuries.
Without any big gambles... Earn ~200k, taxes~50k, live on ~50k, save ~100k for 15 years. ~2 million by 35-40 to live off 50k per year. But that's not enough to live in hcol areas or frivolously.
Omfg! Pbatesltd turned out to be a bloody smart move. I love love love this. I’m the wrong side of 40 so I’m taking this all on board IMMEDIATELY- thank you! Even if I run out of time my kids will benefit from this incredible education. Thankyou thankyou thankyou!!
I know I don’t usually come here for comedy but 21:55 the cut right after Ramit calmly says “you’re broke” as soon as he heard 154% for fixed cost was funny. Being broke is no joke though and I wish the two the best of luck
I hope Lucas can see it's possible to create a financially healthy household on less than 35k/month. It's a admirable business goal, but they need to successfully manage 7k/mo first. Families do that every day. If they can't manage that, how will they manage anything else?
I hope he doesn't use that number as an excuse to not do anything until he reaches it. Wishing them the best!
Edit: Got to the end, and it's really sad that Lucas reacted so negatively to finding a job when he has a family. Maybe because he's from NYC, but he has a skewed idea of the minimum a household needs to be financially healthy in most of the US. It's _much_ lower than he thinks.
Right, as a man he should be doing anything for his family including getting a real job
I lived in NYC. Yes. Rent is expensive BUT you don’t keep a car that is a huge savings. Also, the smaller space REALLY keeps your shopping in check because you literally have no place to keep anything. Also, public transportation is pretty good. If you don’t work in the city you live further up - you can live on a $100k. This guy is delusional. Most people in NY don’t make $35k per year. It has the WIDEST income gap in the states.
I could really feel the love these two have for each other. May they have a blessed and abundant life. Once they start taking care of their money, their money will take care of them.
I'm only about 10 minutes in....another very smart, capable woman being gaslit and held back by a clueless man convinced he's never gonna be wrong. I really hope he will continue to unpack all his toxic and plain foolish misconceptions, and stop controlling/bringing down Trin. She deserves a collaborative partner who respects her enough to believe she can make better decisions.
I got hooked on Ramit's videos about three weeks ago and I have to agree that this is a running theme...
@@Capycorg Probably more than half the couples in the last year on this channel have been a (religious) man wanting to "provide" (be the unquestioned household boss) yet can't pay bills on time, complaining their working wife with a degree that also takes care of their kids isn't smiling enough.
Sometimes the wife is also a shopaholic, so it's not just one-sided.
His wife has 200k debt..maybe its her
@@smann7236 In school loans. He is paying the rent with credit cards because his business is not making money. Hasn't for 10+ years. Maybe it's him.
Another great conversation 👏 thank you to this lovely couple for being vulnerable and sharing! I believe in y’all and am wishing the best!
Lucas is a know-it-all who doesn’t have a clue. He needs to gets real job and turn over the financial reins either to Trin or an accountant. Lots of talk but poor skills. I got the idea that at first he was her hero as far as being money savvy.
I agree, I think he talked a big game and she trusted him too much.
Lovely couple. Thank you for sharing with us. So many of us feel like everyone does this perfectly but us, and seeing people have similar issues and change and improve is the beauty of this show, which can't be done without people like you.
Certain men preach about a wife being "submissive" and allowing the man to lead. Do you see how most of the time that doesn't work?
“Most of the time” ? When it works you don’t see a video on it.
When it doesn’t work and it’s a train wreck, that’s what you see on RUclips.
Also, women tend to freak out on the word “submission.” Submission means “under the mission.” Is there a clear vision? Are there defined and consistent roles and expectations. It doesn’t mean being a doormat or being detached from finances or major decisions. And for the man it doesn’t mean being a tyrant; the husband is supposed to be in submission to God and biblical principles.
@@zoraster3749 Most Americans are financially illiterate, so on average, when one person is dominating the finances, it doesn’t work.
The average American doesn’t have £1k in liquid cash savings, the average American has a Carried credit card balance… so clearly it’s not working in most relationships
It’s interesting to me that an engineer isn’t good at finances. Many of them move into financial planning careers.
@@MNP208 My father was an electrical engineer before he retired. I had to do the family budget starting when I was 12. I'm hoping to become a millionaire by the end of next year.
😂 Right?! Those same dusty XYs can't remove their own pride to allow them to understand why more women happily choose to be single and childfree: the term "cat lady" is no longer an insult and "buy a dog and die alone" is instead seen as, "don't threaten me with a good time!" (Even though its mostly single men dying alone...) It's also so sick how a lot of these XYs twist the meaning of submission from their podcast circle jerks rather than from a solid church (which are too few and far between anyway.)
They are lying to themselves about what they deserve for a lifestyle.
This was another great podcast! Thanks to your interviewees.
I can't imagine the courage it takes to discuss this publicly. The final statements felt very satisfying. They're actually in a great financial situation is they manage to get their lifestyle under control
So this is what it looks like to make 100k and still live paycheck to paycheck! What an episode and what a shift in the second half. I’m rooting for this couple, to keep their heads out of the clouds and build that financial foundation they so desperately need
Please do twice a week, this shit is life changing!
Ramit, I have to say I have listened to every single one of your podcasts and they keep me on the edge of my seat and each one gets better and better. I am blown away by how you handle the psychology of things. When I started listening to the first few podcasts I was judgy, but I quickly learned that what you have in the bank has nothing to do with how you feel about money. I have seen so many couples resembling my situation, and it blows me away how much I see myself and my husband in the emotional responses of the couples.
This was the most difficult podcast for me to listen since I started following. The gap between reality and Lucas' wishful thinkful was painful to hear and I don't think it really changed at the end. I hope this couple makes it.
Did they consider volunteering their time instead of tithing? Does giving only needs to be monetary?
It is understandable why they eat out since Trin is finishing her Phd. If she is almost done, Lucas needs to support his wife by letting her finish her education since she will be bringing in the stable income.
It seems Lucas has an aversion to a traditional 9 - 5 job. The fact that he did not know what his degree would make his family (I recall from the prior episode, it was Chemical Engineering). A salary in his profession + Trin's salary would easily garner them over 200k annually. Sometimes your dreams need to be put on hold until your family's financial house is in order. Get a stable traditional job and do your entrepreneurial pursuits on the side (the dream is not squashed, just delayed). What is best for the family should come first.
How is it understandable that they eat out since she is finishing her PhD?
Is it your assumption that eating out requires less time than cooking at home?
Why was Lucas first thing to cut when asked therapy? Like sir that’s the thing you need the most!!!!
And Trin adjunct does not make more than 70k. Teachers don’t even make 70k. And you don’t need a PhD to do it. I’ve looked in teaching computer science since i have a masters and you’re making maybe $15k a semester adjunct and $30-45k as a tenured professor.
1:00:58 “if there’s a job that could pay me more consistently than my business then i would take it”… there is a job. It’s called chemical engineer. Use your degree!!!!!!!
he said it without even taking a breath! that was wild
Because he is in denial and probably their counselor / therapist calls him on his BS like Ramit and he doesn’t like it.
The husband shows signs of immaturity he seems to not think things thru totally and is some what detached from reality at times
and then blames his wife that she is not helping when he asked her to stay out of it.
I really appreciate this podcast and these couples. Their transparency and vulnerability allow me to take a good look at the ways in which my own thinking and emotions can cause me to make wrong turns, and how I can create safeguards for myself to reduce how often wrong turns happen.
This man has a masters of chemical engineering and was on track to get a PHD. He could get a $120-150k job and solve their problems. Pay off the debt by working a W2 for 5 years and then go into business if he really wants
Can you imagine how frustrating he would be if you were his manager? Always counting his success before it happened.
The thing is... it's been ten years since he's been in school, and hasn't been working in the industry or doing continuing education. Is he hireable right now?
He CLAIMS to have a Master of Science. He overstates his entrepreneurial income. The way he speaks correlates to a person who embellishes a bit. Can he convert his degree into a paying job or are there unspoken issues?
Lucas is not going to change not one bit. He is thoroughly committed to the track he is on. If anything, he seems insulted by Ramit's advice.
I agree. The way he balked at a 9-5 towards the end when he could be making $150k with his degree was telling. His whole identity is tied to being an entrepreneur and he will continue to lead his family to financial ruin as a result.
Hmm. I disagree….he humbled himself and opened up to truly take in the lessons Ramit was giving him. From the sale of their car to the acceptance that simplicity is best for his finance, I do think they are going to make great strives.
Agree. He seems very conceited. He will not get a job.
Trin, plan your exit. Also, read about covert narcissists.
@@45media85 If I were her, I'd run away from him, with the kids so fast. I don't know how she can still believe in him after this.
I have to say, they seem like an amazing couple and so good at discussing issues. Most people look their tempers and can't see each others arguments but I am impressed by this guy especially.
I’m rooting for you Trina and Lucas! I was pissed at first but decided to wait until the end to form my opinion and I’m glad that I did. Sending love and hugs to you both!
I really love these couples, you can tell they respect each other and that so refreshing to see.
It’s a good thing the put God first with 10%, this will open doors. I pray that God opens financial doors for you guys!
I love the way this couple talks to each other with such love and respect, truly listening. Wish them the best
Great video as always. Keep them coming!
It happens to or happened to many of us ,
LOVE YOUR PROGRAM ❤️ constant listener and learner
I love this couple!!! Great episode Ramit!
Ramit you are seriously skilled! The way you turned this conversation is amazing!
This is my favourite episode so far. This couple grew into a power team. They are both extremely intelligent and have similar views on their spiritual life. I have no doubt they will succeed, now that they have a realistic picture of what success looks like. My husband and I have lived the life of the entrepreneur by leveraging our professional credentials and together building businesses that ultimately financed our retirement. It has been extremely fulfilling and I hope this family can experience this as well.
This is such a beautiful couple 😍 the love they have for each other just oozes through the screen ❤
This 2 part series was very helpful for me!
Great show! I just subscribed to your channel. Thank you
It's interesting that the couple were tasked with finding the balance between Lucas' optimism regarding income and Trin's conservative perspective on hers.
Probably my favorite podcast so far. Its clear that Lucas loves his family and has hustle which i respect. It was great to see his defensiveness diminish. The follow ups were encouraging as well
Another wonderful 2-part podcast.
I love to watch Ramit postcad and video, they are very straightforward and easy to understand, I also have a chance to see the REAL stories from his guests, thus I can learn a lot of mistakes and improvements from them. I wish I know Ramit and his postcad long time ago, so I can avoid a lot of financial mistakes.