“We’re $520k in debt & he hid it from me”
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- Опубликовано: 27 ноя 2023
- Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Cassandra, 40, and Aldo, 41. They discovered Ramit on Netflix-which quickly led to Cassandra discovering the gruesome details of their debt. His goal was to shield her from stress. What he’s done instead is hide incalculable credit card balances, lose thousands on meme stocks, and so much more.
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Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
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How can my wife and I sign up to participate in the podcast?
Oh yeah, I wanted to get super "judgey" on these folks. But I lived the same way for years with my head in the sand. Only by listening to Ramsey was I able to pull out of my tailspin.
@@NicoleB85I think he has interviewed at least one same-sex couple, though I bet it was before he started releasing these episodes on YT. and I would also be interested in interviews with single people, but truthfully I don't know how it fits with his current sort of relationship-counseling approach.
@@NicoleB85there was a lesbian couple on a while back on this platform and on the podcast.
These types of episodes honestly highlight the fantasy that is being peddled by social media and television. We think we’re all so above it and then you see two loving, empathic, highly intelligent individuals and parents believing they should be able to do a $100k home reno, 3 international trips a year, have a mortgage, and get whatever they want whenever they want just because they’re both employed and work hard. These are things that for most people, staying within their means, take years of saving and sacrificing on other stuff. But that isn’t really shown in our cultural landscape. This show has made me think really critically about my own expectations of what my life should look like at my income level, and I really appreciate that lens. Thanks to Ramit and to this couple ❤ Rooting for you guys! Take a couple years off of the BS and pay it down!
She is shocked that they are in such mich debt. She isnt the victim here, if you are swiping that credit card, you should be somewhat aware. Being $500k in debt should not be a surprise with the amount that you use
This is a great comment. My husband and I always talk about whether or not the concept of a middle class lifestyle has changed and whether most people think they should have more than is feasible.
@@meejmuas8686It’s nuts! She claims to know about credit cards but then says “well he just gave me this card and told me to go buy what I needed” He is the majority of the problem but you can’t be this ignorant of your finances.
So well said! And I have this issue though not the amount of debt. We don’t travel as much and I see people on my fb that go on trips and do so much more and I wonder how they do it but we can’t. These episodes show…they aren’t doing it without a huge cost! And yes to the reply below…our sense of what the middle class should do in a year or the trips they should be able to take is insane! It’s common now for the people we know to go to Europe for their summer vacation. I sent to Myrtle beach as a child!
Can't stay within your means if you don't know what they are. Highly concerning this guy is a financial advisor.
I so want to make a negative comment, but the fact that they are on here and being honest is so hard. Good for them.
I hear you, but this guy sells his soul every day to put people into on a platform, cookie cutter, high fee, pretty much worthless investments at (guesing bank of america/merrill). Yeah...part of it is the crappy corporation he works for, but I don't feel sorry for him. He doesn't know anything about finance and he knows it yet holds himself out every day as a financial advisor at Merrill. The fact these guys meme trade stocks, take out loans they aren't going to pay back, willfully advises his wife to not pay a debt because JC Penny is gone...he's down low a crook. Don't feel sorry for him.
Yes. They seems so nice. Jsut need serious help with management of finance.
I will do it for you. There is no way she did not know. If you are constantly using a credit card, you should know something is going on. How are they going on 3 vacations a year? Somebody has to pay for it. He tried to tell her and she did hot want to here it. She avoided it. She was stressing him out. It is good they came on here.
@@HD-mv2qh Brave of them to go on, but for her to trust her husband blindly is quite wild. But she takes accountability and hopefully she can do her part now and learn how to money manage.
Ramit is a trip: “listen up you credit card point seeking freaks!!!” as I was literally mid-sentence telling my husband about all of our points accrued this year, lol. I nearly spit out my lunch.
Exactly lol I feel attacked😂
Yeah, not me looking looking over my point balance less than 5 minutes before he said that 😂 hey, the goal is to earn points but never carry a balance, so we’re good!
I loved when he said that. I laughed so hard. He's so right - your points mean nothing if you're accruing debt!
haha! I'd be interested to know if hearing that from Ramit has changed anything for you?
I wonder if my friends think I’m in debt accruing CC points! It never occurred to me ppl will play the CC points game by accruing CC debt…My husband is currently planning our international trip with points. We r taking our kids on a week long vacation using hotel points and free night lol
I am deeply bothered when people feel they deserve a certain lifestyle because they "work hard". But I am also sympathetic because on some level most of us do that.
You’re right, no one deserves anything. BUT you can earn those things you want.
Peace,help people regardless and losse a little more even people on dope and alcohol and sometimes don't now because in giving a quarter it is like lost when i have to eat after fasting peace.
@@fredmcdaniels2912not sure what you are saying but okay
@@Nb61777Peace, my job I make four times less than minimum wage,I gaine by losing a lot and giving,sometimes lose more because of alcohol and drugs and I get more back by doing charity and around here in Muskegon even church can't figure it out peace .
only 'deserve' it if you 1. work hard 2. know your financial picture 3. live WELL below your means 4. save up for the things you want to do but put emergency funds and investments first. when u are comfortable with a good cushion you can have the things you 'want' truly no one deserves anything, only what u can obtain through your work pursuits and spending habits. Whoever goes into debt for wants should be in financial trouble to teach them how to be humble. Forget looking cool etc, just be normal but have confidence knowing you are financially going in the right direction
I would love to see a 6months - 1year follow up with couples like this! I am pulling for them. 💪🏽
Ramit should do recaps a lot more to be fair… it’s my one gripe with the podcast.
@@joshdawson5850to be fair, the guests do have to be willing to share their longterm followups.
That would be nice
follow ups are a great idea. They can turn it around so fast!
Absolutely need a follow up, I'm not confident they will pull this off.
The fact that they thought they could renovate major parts of the house (kitchen, living room, etc.) plus a pool for only $25K is wild.
20% knowledge 80% behavior. It’s the behaviors that need to change to succeed.
Dave Ramsey the 🐐
Never ever leave all the finances to your partner. You never know what might be hidden from you.
Sometimes that person is just hiding it from you😊so it's not just one running it. It's one doing what they want independently 😊
He's a salesman period. He sells products, meets/exceeds expectations, and gets rewarded handsomely for it. He has next to zero fiscal sense to allow this to happen. Thankfully they're now BOTH on the same script. Great episode.
In my experience, the salesman lifestyle/job encourages poor financial decisions. They want you hungry. That can either be via desperation or strong ambition.
@@HoustonTom just the pay set up alone and lifestyle can do most of the poor habit teaching let alone the wise shit you just mentioned.
This episode really hit home for me. I was *completely* unaware of our family finances, let my husband manage all of it, used his credit card and just assumed it was all going to be fine because he "made a lot of money." Surprise, we were in CC debt and had a mortgage that was 50% of his take-home pay --- Then. He. Died. I was a 34-year old widow with no idea about money. I didn't even know the name of the bank which held our mortgage, much less what the monthly payment was! It took me months to pull together a picture of what bills I was now solely responsible for, and I had to do some serious lifestyle changes to get out of *our* debt all by myself - while grieving the loss of my partner. I never want anyone else to go through that.
Goes to show that you can't out earn terrible money decisions.
Hmmm sounds like diet advice too 😂
I’m just floored that he is a financial advisor… 😮
Aldo doesn't "work in finance." It sounds like he peddles some sort of insurance, expensive mutual fund, etc product to unsuspecting people. And the fact that he is in the same kind of situation that he is setting other people up for is some kind of greek tragedy level of irony.
Ramit asked if we think they can pull it off? I don't think they can. I feel bad for their kids, they've set them up for failure.
I was saying that to myself. While I hope they can do it, I'm wondering if they just toss in the towel, declare bankruptcy and move on
100%, well said.
Women, please Please PLEASE learn the basics of personal finance. Most men who are self-proclaimed "money guys" are usually terrible with money. The fact that HER paycheck was garnished because of HIS mismanagement is egregious.
Scarier for me is that if (God forbid) he suddenly left the marriage, what on earth would she do to keep herself afloat, after just being oblivious to the household finances?
Even if your husband is managing the money at a minimum you should know how much you are getting paid each payday .Your check being garnished and you are not aware is being irresponsible...
@@Life.Love.Locs. Yeah lets not pretend here. Men rarely leave marriages. It's usually women who leave.
@@Lolatyou332 True. Also tho men usually die earlier. So. .there's that.
Yes, but both are to blame. She is bright, but chose to remain oblivious. He is completely clueless though. She should take over the finances.
The most promising sign that they could get out of the debt is the shift we saw happening in their identity. He is no longer the ironclad finance guy in her eyes, so she no longer can pretend that he's a money magician that can make money appear no matter how much they spend. And they both realized that the short term thinking of trips and sneakers now means they can't afford to help their daughter with college. When identity shifts and a pragmatic debt payoff plan is created, there's room for hope. May take them twice as long as they think, but there's hope.
The interesting part is he isn’t even a finance guy. He’s a salesman. He sells financial products.
I just dont see Aldo taking anything away from this. He's not committed.
Yeah, he still thinks he is the idea guy. Next great stock tip to come his way will pull his focus.
Right? He said at the end they want to put 80% towards bills and expenses. Not all at what Ramit suggested.
I give this couple major props for their honesty and their willingness to own up to their mistakes in front of a huge audience. I think they have 2 major problems... one is that he thinks his job is to make his wife happy by saying yes, while trying to shield her from the financial realities. The second is a very common "keeping up with the Joneses" mindset. You could hear it when she said, "We make x amount of money, so we SHOULD be able to go on multiple trips" (or have a massive international Sweet 16 party for our daughter, or renovate our entire house, etc.). There is no "should". You either have the means to do something, or you don't. "Should" is simply a way of comparing yourself to others, who may be in completely different financial circumstances.
Like Ramit says, even the idea of renovating your house is a relatively new one and shows how pernicious the RE advertising/propaganda is. Nothing wrong with a nice new kitchen of course... if you can afford it. But people think it's just a standard thing we're all "supposed" to have now, because we see it on TV all the time.
Keeping up with Joneses seems more of red flag in their case
There's also something to be said for the fact that the Joneses with whom you're trying to keep up are probably also going into debt for their trips and such. Just because your friends are doing it, doesn't mean they can afford it any more than you can. Just look at weddings. These days, the wedding debt often lasts longer than the marriage.
@@tolu.a9725 +1. even at the end, she's still talking about taking her kids on 1 vacation per year. you know 6 months from now, that 1 is going to turn into 2. I make good money and if someone asked me last minute to go on a big trip, I'd say no. I guess it pays to be a grump and not want to go places so often.
They should be able to, but they prioritize other expenses, so they do not gave that ability. They need to look at themselves and decide what they want out of their lives.
We have been in our house 36 years. It has been paid off for 29 years. Did the dream kitchen for cash last year. 🤔 The Joneses are lunatics. 😂
It’s not just the dollar amount of debt they have that shocks me, it’s how many DIFFERENT kinds of debt they have. They have like 15 different credit cards and loans
Seems like there is more going on with Aldo than we heard in this video. Hard to believe you can have someone in 'finance' in this sort of predicament and doesn't have some sort of budget for the household. Can't disregard that Cassandra acknowledged her turning a blind eye to things. Props to both of them for their vulnerability to come on this podcast to discuss their situation. I'm putting my gavel away now.
it's lifestyle inflation. They've both become spoilt.
Absolutely! The list was so long I was in absolute shock! It reminded me of a scene from The Nanny!
I felt ill listening to all their debt, and it's not even my debt. They are good candidates for bankruptcy, IMO.
Anyone who has a $66,000 account in collections should not be helping other people manage their finances or sell financial products to people. How scary! It should be mandatory that all financial advisors show their credit report to their clients so as to avoid this type of situation.
He really needs help😢.
It sounds like he is a seller of banking products that he makes commissions off of. He's not in the business of helping people save money,
The crazy part is that most financial institutions do check for ALL employees, not only for financial advisors. Not sure where their line is, but it’s definitely a greater risk of conflict of interest having someone who earns commissions in their role owe so much money in personal debt.
Knowledge has nothing to do with personal execution. Most of the doctors or relationship counsellors give great advice but dont even follow 1% of their own advices. So being great at your job has nothing to do with how well you use your own knowledge to Benefit your personal life.
Many financial people their finances are wacked..I know 2 financial people and they both have high cc debt and they don’t have insurance which is what they work in which is mind boggling that’s why I take financial peoples advice with a grain of salt
“Listen up you credit card point seeking freaks!” Had me dead.
Too much social media drives these people to think they "deserve" multiple vacations every season and live like people who make 10x the income
Yes, read “Scarcity Brain”. He has a chapter on this.
eh, this was a thing before social media. I heard a lot of "you work hard, you deserve it" growing up. no one deserves anything, you can either afford stuff or you can't.
Another issue here is that Aldo is doing high stakes gambling with money and calling it “investing”. Day trading isn’t investing and if my partner pulled that maneuver I’d never trust him again. Their risk strategies are completely misaligned. I don’t get how this man has a job in finance. I work as a financial advisor and our credit and the credit of our spouses are regularly run. I’ve seen colleagues fired because of liens, tax garnishments, and financial debts
I would have got divorce king time ago. It’s like a crime. 😢
did I misunderstand the numbers? He turned $30k into $189k, then took $50k out and lost the rest? yeah, the extra let's just say $100k post-tax would have been huge for them, but they still profited $20k (minus taxes)? I guess they used it as justification for $100k on home renos, they probably would have come up with some other justification had it not been for the stock money.
You are a financial advisor? Interesting. I keep looking for one but can't tell who is or isn't legitimate.
I feel like this guy is a whole life insurance sales person. He's living the life that he's selling to his clients.
I know many people exactly like this
IKR
This is so frightening to watch. How are they spending like this with no accountability and consequences.
This
Did he say his pay was commissions? So he’s a commission-paid seller of financial products?
To answer Ramit's final question:
No, I do not think they will do this.
She already said they'll be taking "less vacations, and eating out less", which means they'll fall back into bad spending habits in a few months.
Agree. I see them like someone starting at the gym on January 1st. By March or April, you've stopped going to the gym. Hopefully I'm wrong and/or they at least turn around their life somewhat. Perhaps pay off the IRS loans and getting the debt somewhat under control. 100% they end up getting a home equity loan to move debt to a lower rate AND frees up the credit cards. At that point, they will "deserve" a trip.
She won’t make it for sure and sorry to say. She had an entitlement complex, I.e. spoiled.
Oh. We don’t know. Sometimes we see and learn things that we can’t unlearn. But it takes processing time, too, to wrap our minds around.
I think they are committed. It sounds like watching the debt payoff calculator is a motivator
Watching your videos always make me feel better about my finances. Almost like therapy at this point
Facts!! That is definitely why I binge these.
I am just shocked at watching and listening to Cassandra speak is enough to drive me crazy. How in the world does she have blinders on.
😂me too! I used to feel ashamed when my sister called me cheapskate. Now, I'm proud. Although I call myself frugal 😊
@@peace-a being frugal and at peace is what better than the alternative
@@peace-aTotally!! People roll their eyes when I explain my elaborate financial spreadsheets. I feel better about myself now.
What if Aldo died or became incapacitated and she found out about the debt after his passing? You can’t have a healthy situation when one person ignores financial matters and the other person is the money person. This just sets up a bad scenario where the spouse ignoring money is going to find out under difficult circumstances
This is the reason why people posting lavish vacation photos on social media no longer impress me. Getting rid of this debt will require a lot of sacrifices and being comfortable saying “no” that I don’t know if they can do after living the good life on credit for all these years. Good luck!
Yup, you see it all the time. I just assume everyone has debt out their ears.
I went on a trip to Europe with a couple other friends. These dudes were barely able to make it there financially. When we got there, they couldn’t even afford to buy some disposable vapes. Yet they were taking all these great looking photos on the Eiffel Tower and stuff like that and posting on Instagram. They had on clothes that cost hundreds or thousands of dollars. I’m looking at these guys like wtf 😳 You guys are broke trying to show off on Instagram. Smh
Same with seeing nice cars on the road
Same with seeing nice cars on the road
I really appreciated the conversation about the daughter. When they mentioned that she is better with money and saving than the parents, it really stuck with me. I grew up in a family where we didn’t talk much about money. My parents always over provided because they thought that was what was best for us. But, they little comments about money here and there (almost always negative) led to a lot of anxiety about money and I wish they would have just been more honest and talked to us directly about money. I also am the “saver” in my family, but this leads to guilt whenever I spent money I have. They will also make comments now about my spending (always debt free) because they still don’t talk about money and they assume I am going into debt to take trips and make purchases. Shielding your children from money doesn’t have the outcome that parents hope for.
Well said!
What this couple completely missed is that you’re supposed to shield your kids from financial instability BY BEING FINANCIALLY STABLE.
Yup as remit was saying, there is something freeing in going through the fire. You come out stronger than when you started. I think they underestimate how resilient kids can be.
100% my parents were open with us about having no money. Would blame the kids (5 of us) as the reason why. Yeah we definitely were a reason but we didn't ask to be here. I remember I asked my dad how much he earned, boy did I regret that haha. They both had 'good jobs' just too many kids. Luckily for them they got help from both sides of my grandparents. Made me freak out about money and be very studious towards it as I never wanted to have that feeling again ir if I had kids Blame them for it. Worked out good for me in the end.
@@TonyCox1351how about by using common sense too? Did the wife really think they had little dent with three international trips in one summer and constantly swiping credit cards?
she keeps blaming him but saying she's not blaming him but ignorance is a decision, it's not all on him
I think there is an unspoken reality that I will probably take flack for bringing up... which is that many women have zero interest in the finances. All they care about is that they have a safe/nice home, their kids are taken care of, and they can buy what they want. This is not intended to be sexist... obviously in many of Ramit's episodes the female partner has a better head for finance than the man, and the man is the one who gets them into debt. But yet, in a majority of cases, it is still the husband who manages most of the financial stuff in a family. And in my experience I rarely see the female spouse pushing back against that, in fact they are happy to not have to deal with it. They would rather focus on other things.
Exactly!
“Wait… there’s more… “🤣. I’m always impressed at how brave these couples are to come on this very popular show and air their ugly finances. BOTH couples MUST be aware of THEIR finances. NO EXCUSES! I handle all of our finances BUT we have monthly finance meetings. It was very difficult and uncomfortable but we looked for ways to make it work and now even celebrate! Our childhoods have such a deep lasting impression on how we handle our finances as adults. These couples teach us so much. Thank you to this beautiful couple. 💜 Thank you for teaching us all Ramit!🙏🏻💜
I admire this couple coming on the show and being so honest. Takes so much courage. I wish them the very best.
Their extreme money problem is a symptom to a larger issue that I don’t think was really addressed here - this isn’t merely reckless spending, it’s likely an addiction. They should really see a therapist. Tens of thousands on Macy’s and JCpenney cards is unreal.
This was my first thought as well.
They have $180K in personal debt, not including their mortgage. I added up all the debt numbers that they gave Ramit. They have $110K in credit cards/student loans that they are currently paying on plus the $66K that is in collections and isn't being paid plus the JC Penny bill and hospital debt. The debt payoff calculator isn't correct because it doesn't include all of their debt. No way will they be able to do this in 2 years.
Plus that business loan settlement that’s coming back soon,right? $1000 a month but not sure of the total balance.
@@aprilstiek7430the $66K in collections is the business loan that they need to settle, I think. Its really hard to follow this couple's numbers. They aren't being honest, even with themselves, about the amount of debt owed.
What blows my mind about Ramit's response is when he said not to do anything with credit cards and just pay them off. I realize there is a lesson in this, but as someone currently working on paying off a large sum of debt, high credit card interest really cripples your ability to pay off debt. Based on my estimates, they are paying about 2k/month in interest alone. I completely agree that associating your debt with your assets is a slippery slope, but taking a large unsecured personal loan to consolidate credit cards, then close all cards would save them at least 30k in interest and a year paying it off. I know there is psychology involved in this, but it sucks when psycology trumps cold hard math.
Their credit wont allow them to do this. Their plan was to keep the accounts open and then eventually when their credit improves do that. The concern is they'll be tempted by the available credit in the meantime and just repeat the cycle.
@@michellekraft6631 Absolutely. At some point, opening new accounts may not even be possible. However, if there is a company willing to take risk, it may be a financially viable choice. You definitely have a point about being tempted by credit cards. We are currently in a process of calling various cc companies and asking them to reduce our card limits, so we are not tempted to use more than what we have budgeted.
I can’t help but roll my eyes when I hear “wealthy” people complain about not being able to take their kids on vacation. In all my life I have only gone on 1 vacation, I know that number is 0 for others. Relax, your kids will live.
Agreed. Or at the very least, you can change your definition of vacation. My entire childhood, "vacation" was going to my grandparents' houses. And that's OK. Believe it or not, I lived.
It’s to appear rich to the outside world it just puts you in debt
For real! My "vacations" as a kid were going to visit my grandparents farm in Kansas, and seeing my relatives in Minnesota in the summer.
Kids rarely even appreciate vacations anyway from what I've seen.
@@laurao3274 I am in total agreement. We went on rides on a Sunday and got icecream. No one went away on spring break 😊
She said hes a 'good man' because he bought her anything she wanted? While now knowing they're a half million in debt and he hid it? Very delusional. Shes just a selfish as him. As long as she got what she wanted, he could of stolen it and she wouldnt care.
I was waiting for someone to mention this! He thinks he is doing her a favor and she willfully doesn’t ask any questions.
I wish them the best on their journey!!
I've done this to my wife, but in a smaller scale (nothing letting her know how much debt I was accumulating). It ended up in bankruptcy. DON'T do this to your wife or husband/partner, whatever. I still feel bad. But I've changed my ways and I don't hide money anymore from her. I get her involved as much as I can in our personal finances.
I love that Ramit asked “What could go wrong with that plan?” instead of berating them for suggesting another quick fix to their massive hole they’ve dug… always learning from him!
1:11:00 what she doesn't seem to understand is that they've already BEEN living lol Living way over their means, at that. This episode is teaching me to be comfortable living below my means and not comparing my lifestyle to others, because most ppl out here are living a facade.
There is so much peace in knowing that you cannot and should not try to compare yourself to others and go on fancy vacations, buy expensive cars, houses and designer clothes.
This approach has brought me happiness and peace of mind I could never have imagined when I was younger. It’s so freeing to realize that the people who will judge you for living within your means are the LAST people who’s opinions I actually care about
I have no credit cards since 2015 and it's one of the best decisions of my life. People would ask me "how do you pay for things?" ... "with money. If I don't have it, I don't buy it." #thanksdaveramsey
One of the things people generally don't understand is that it may not work the first time, they may slip back into more debt, repeat some patterns, but they will become more and more aware UNTIL something clicks and it all starts working. It's exactly the same as losing weight - just because you slipped, fell off the wsgon, doesn't mean you can't get back on, try it again, try something different. I'd happy to see that they are exploring different approaches to finding their breathing room.
Yes! I often need time after a conversation for things to sink in, too.
When my kids were little, I didn’t buy anything and worked so hard and didn’t do extracurriculars, etc.
I actually really regretted not having a balanced approach. They were getting older and only have one childhood.
Balance. She may need to figure out a way to make it work for her. Not a freeze on spending.
Ramit's facial expressions had me cackling, I feel your pain, brother 🤣
I don't think they will be able to do it. They seem to have that mentality to keep up with the Jones. We need to spend thousands to go on a birthday holiday because someone else did. They need to have what their friends have. They need to go on holidays for their kids to have a happy childhood.
I agree. I think they will make some progress in the short term-bonuses can help bail them out of a couple things, but they will always want more beyond their means. In the upcoming year they’ll be like, “we’ve worked hard and deserve a break!” And the debt will start all over again.
They make 300K combined. There is no reason they shouldn’t be able to afford a couple $7000.00 trips a year as it’s less than 10% of their take home if they weren’t having their wages garnished.
They need to actually stick to a budget because pretty much anything is possible on 300K a year once their debt is paid off given their fixed costs are $2,700/month which would be less than 20% of their net income
@@macsc5497 She's a nurse. If she is really serious about this, she will take every shift she can and work holidays as much as possible. All of that extra money can go toward that debt. Maybe he could even take a second job for a year. That alone could really make a dent in their debt.
I got the feeling like they were not really 100% serious either.
She’s not going to do it. You can tell she resents the idea of no vacations for a couple of years. Her spending isn’t going to go down that much. She “deserves” stuff.
On the other hand, all their friends will see this and maybe not encourage them to be so self indulgent. @@pookie1960
I am almost 75 live a comfortable life. My late husband was a disabled Vietnam veteran. I had a good job and retired after 34 years of service. I get a comfortable pension, health insurance and prescription plan. I am not rich by anyone's standards but with no consumer debt except my mortgage which I am working to have it paid in full in about four years. I feel blessed that I am fairly healthy too.
Your health is everything. Keep walking and exercising to the best of your ability! 😊
Congratulations! Comfortable life is what I want one day! Saving as much as I can during these working years
The JC Penny comment 😂😂😂 Ramit!!! 💀
institutional buying into PbatesLTD could totally break the cycle and the peak expectation of end of 2025 will likely spectacularly fail to appear. If the last double peak was odd, the next one will catch most people out again.
Thank goodness for your Netflix show. Happening upon that has saved their family’s future.
It got to me when Cassandra started talking about her daughter and you could see her emotions kicking in. The good news is that they make good money. Ramit was spot-on in his response. I will say a prayer for these two. They seem to be sweet and good people who had some seriously bad habits. They can do it.
Everything depends on your budgeting . 1000$ in AMS79X is 4000 AMS79X and a significant gain we do not even know where the ATH will be. after all stages are finalized I estimate 500% gain is nothing to be crazy about how unrealistic that would be. I mean
Ramit, this episode is why I tune in every week. Your money psychology monologues are always so fascinating and I'll be thinking about them for years.
Why is part of the title “he hid it from me” That discounts her responsibility
I hope for them that they can do it, but I don t think so. Taking out of your 401k while planning new trips on credit cards at the same time is crazy. They also need to switch their spending habits about 180 degrees. We definitely need a follow up after a year! 😊
That wasn't the only crazy thing. Having debts in collections! Having a paycheck garnished!
Jeeze.
Oh, and I dont necessarily believe him, the great day trader, that he turned $30,000 into $87,000 (but didnt cash out.) i think he plays around in those markets and may have lost more than he admits to.
Honestly they are a nice enough couple but they are in financial fantasy island. For her to stomp her feet so to speak with the thought of not taking a vacation with all that debt? I don’t think she will make it. She definitely feels entitled to a certain lifestyle and that’s the kiss of death right there. Unless she is doing counseling or deep internal reflection on her entitlement complex, she won’t make it:
she's here for the good time, not a bad time
My heart goes to the entire community for PbatesLTD building up something even my grandpa can understand. This is so smart by them to launch it to shatter the doubts and fears of the common folk which is not even correct to begin with. Everyone knows the state of inflation and recession now and the way out is already in progress. Now it's just about catching the big fish
I would love a long-term follow-up!! Not just with this couple but many others on the show. For example - 1 year out or more.
They need to live on their base salary and use the bonuses only for debt payoff. She can take on some overtime and they need to keep vacations to simple road trips to visit family. It's absolutely doable.
Yes. I used bonus and OT only for debt payoff for a while, then kept that amount going into investments.
Cassandra didn't fully comprehend that taking 3 trips over a summer was their travel budget for the next 3 years. They just fronted loaded the trips and overpaid once all of the interest is accumulated.
No way they pay it all of in less than 3 years. She didn’t seem like the type of person who can go without a vacation for multiple years being accustomed to taking multiple trips in one year. They’re living wayyy above their means and are now mad they have to accept the consequences.
Looked like husband knew there would be a day of reckoning. wife had "willful blindness". It was bound to happen with oldest daughter heading off to college with no college fund. Both spouses were hoping Mr. Sethi had a magic wand to make all go away & continue spending as they have for years. Last thing they expected was Mr. Sethi going full tilt Dave Ramsey on them (though much calmer tone).
@@jeromehenry4484 My co-worker's parents spent like there was no tomorrow. They also 'stole' their kids' college fund that had been fully funded by her maternal grandparents. It was enough money to put all 3 kids through a state college for 4 years or two years of community college and then finish in private school (this was the late 70's - early 80's). Well, co-worker was the oldest who thankfully did get partial scholarship money along with academic grants so her first 2 years were covered, but when she went to get her promised money to pay for her 3rd year, she found that her parents had gone through every penny and were furious that she told her grandparents about what happened. Her grandparents directly paid her college and those of her sister directly rather than replenish their account (which is what the parents wanted - sure). I believe when the grandparents died, they gave nothing to co-worker's mother and father and instead gave her and sister money directly and set up college funds for their kids. Her parents hounded her for that money for years. Awful people
She’s going to have to
Work tons of overtime.. as a fellow nurse if she works tons of OT in the hospital she can do it .. but she seems like the type of nurse that’s prissy just based on how she comes off in the video.. these types of nurses like to brag on they designer trips and wear designer handbags to work ie LV,Gucci.. she’s going to have to live in the hospital and take on shifts most nurses work 3X12 so she’s going to have to be there 6 days a week and be exhausted .. it’s all optics for her and to keep up with the others around them ., I doubt she will change because she’s the catalyst for these things 3 trips in one year even multi millionaire folks that have 1-2M assets don’t travel this much the so maybe one big trip every year and a half they living way above thier means plus they have 2 kids
@@helena3631 this all seems very unfair. You don't know this woman who had the courage to come on here and talk about her situation and you are being excessively unkind. And I can tell you that when I was making only $80,000/year as a single mother of 3, we were taking 3+ international trips a year and not going into debt to do it.
I give huge huge props to this couple for coming on this show and being honest about what most people are doing. I'm pulling for them
Not pictured here....the $100K that they should have saved for their 17 year old child's college education and the $50K for the 10 year old. Nah....we went to Aruba instead, or Destin, or Domincan. News flash, you make to much for your children to have to resort student loans. You have now set multiple generations up for financial hardship.
That was the part I found most upsetting, not 1 dime for college, after all the high income they brought in for years. Wife kept mentioning "to get what my kids need & want", but it never crossed her mind about college funds???
Don't worry- she bought them brand new clothes every year and took the daugther on a week long trip for her 16th birthday. Yeah I'm sure that when she has thousands of dollars in student loan debt in 10 years, she'll look back and think "my parents set me up for success"@@jeromehenry4484
It's a lot of selfish choices along the way.
Yep. Those kids have no chance at financial aid, so they either need to go to community college or be willing to be swimming in mountains of student loan debt for a decade.
@brentlorrolliere6057 I suggest you go back and watch the episode where Ramit talks with his guests about why the thinking that parents should pay for a childrens education is a destruction American construct. I'm not sure what episode it is (the husband grew up in one of the Latin or Central American countries) but I think you'll get a better perspective on this.
I think in 2 years and 11 months they will not only have not paid off the debt, they will have taken on even more debt.
This is my favorite episode, I relate a lot to her husband. I am not nearly in as much debt but I relate to the "protection" and "hero" aspects. Like him, My childhood was really stressful. My mother was financially abused as a stay at home mom. Now I am the primary earner in my family and often guard my spouse from the "stress" of our finances. I also say yes too much because I want to make sure I am not mistreating my spouse like my father did.
This episode was really eye opening. I recently talked with my husband about our debts, giving numbers and we will be building our budget together this year every month. This episode found me at a perfect time to help me understand some of my "whys" to my behavior and how I am causing more harm than good.
Yes, I absolutely think they can do it, and I think they will! Here's why. 1. These two individuals were so kind, caring, and respectful toward one another. I can tell that they will do a great job working as a team and cheering each other on. 2. When you start telling your money where to go, it seems like you notice opportunities more and more. It's like when you think about buying a certain kind of car, and all of a sudden you see those cars everywhere! They will notice unexpected windfalls and immediately want to funnel it toward their debt. As soon as they start cutting expenses, they'll start noticing all the other places they can cut. Once that ball gets rolling, it really does become a fun game, especially when you have a partner to celebrate those wins with you!
Her face when she said "we will be left without nothing to be able to do things, I know my habits will not be near to what they used to be, but there is holidays, no able to take the kids away". To me is like, we'll you ready enjoy enough, time to cut, example: they have $900 dollars on subscriptions, why they need a gym membership if they have gym at home??. I see their faces and I am almost sure, they feel shame to tell family or friends how drastically their life style is going to change. But, is possible to get out from that situation if you really want to, is going to hurt, you need to change habits, life style and bust your butt. My husband and I was $320k total, business, mortgage and credit cars. We did the snowball and it took us 2.5 years to get everything paid off. We changed lots of things, zero restaurants, zero investments, zero retirement, just our 6 month emergency founds, no vacatios, we cook at home for breakfast, lunch and dinner, zero renovations at home, no presents either bdays or Xmas. We got together with family, cook a meal and that's all. No concerts or events unless we had coupons or free events. Look for deals on groceries stores, overtime at work, we worked all our shifts and I got into doordash after work and weekends selling handmade items at farmers markets, I turned myself into a minimalist sold my clothes, shoes, decor, kitchen items that I never used or barely used. Garage sales, I learned how to make my own shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, I cut my own hair and my husband's. Canceled gym, amazon, and most of streaming. Just on 04/05/24 we got free, zero debt after all our hard work. So, it is possible, just left the shame at side and do what you have to do to get free. Trust me is one of the most amazing feelings a person with financial problems can have.
Aldo is lucky he still has a job “in finance” with an account in collections and a tax lien. I would have lost mine at an accountancy firm!
His wifes salary is garnished, not his
@@mithicash1444 but it’s for their tax debt, right?
I’m a wealth manager and I said the same thing. I’m unmarried but my spouses credit and accounts would be watched as well because people often use their spouse account to hide problems or steal money. How this man still has a job in the finance industry is beyond me
@@mithicash1444 I found that part about her paystub garnishment shocking, that she didn't even know it was happening. To top it off, the withdrawal from her 401K to cover credit cards, simply astounding. It was never questioned, but I wonder if HIS 401K & paystub were tapped also?
My ex thought that because he was an accountant at a NY stock exchange company, he didn't have to do anything on his home finances. My parents raised me differently. So every year, I spent hours during a week's vacation going over the budget & our total financial picture, especially when we had children, and discussing it thoroughly with him in the evenings, since he wouldn't do it at home. "God will provide what we need". I replied, the nuns also said, "God gave us common sense & helps those who help themselves first!!" He went down a rabbit hole of a fundamentalist religious cult & is now an ex...
To Aldo and Cassandra, I am really rooting for you!!! You seem like you have such a lovely marriage, and I really appreciated how neither of you played the blame game and took ownership for your part in racking up so much debt. Best of luck remember to have a plan, and take it one day at a time, and that small wins add up to big savings!
Oh no, she totally kept blaming him.
That HGTV quip was so on point!
I respect and appreciate this couple so much. Thanks everyone
She said he would give her credit cards that were almost maxed out....who is she lying to? You knew the cards he gave you when you needed to buy something were almost maxed out but you are surprised at debt...not the amount, I'm saying, she knew something was amis.
Did you notice when topic of the $60K+ business loan came up, that was the only time during entire interview wife actually hung her head in shame? That seems odd because that was husband's debt alone.
@@jeromehenry4484 sometimes it seems that they saw something off but just pretend as if they had no idea. It's amazing how there's a pattern in these stories regarding the debt. The childhood stories tell you how each person married their trauma or the same dynamic their parents functioned in. People don't want to face reality. This woman's husband/they was in 500k plus debt and she claims she had no idea....how is that possible? Seriously ? Everyone is living in a different reality to cope. It's really not hard to see why the world is where it is. Living a life you can't afford because you can't accept that you're broke. A half a million. Fantasy land has crumbled before their eyes. It's mind blowing.
She lied constantly throughout the episode.
They need to have a quarter where they do nothing but go to work and stay home. The bonuses are his silver bullet.
Oh this was a Dave Ramsey kind of episode!
I love these interviews! are you thinking about doing follow-up segments with your podcast guests? I would love to see how many of them are doing in a year or so.
1:14:23 she stated ' MAYBE not go on vacation this year' After all that Ramit said and broke down to them. There is zero way that they get the job done in 2 years. It's too heavy a lifestyle lift for them as they have been living this way forever. I think they get it done over 10 years and then will be in their 50's scrambling to buildup retirement savings. She will be burnt out at that point as a nurse and will resent him for them not being in a better position. Happens all the time. I do wish them luck though.
lol yes I caught that MAYBE too and I was like giiirrrlll whaaat
True. Renovations don’t always yield a return. You get 50% back for cosmetic work. You get return if you ADD a bathroom, HVAC. Maintenance and functionality can add value but cosmetic renovations do not. Those top of the line appliances do nothing for property values. Spend Reno dollars wisely - adding livable square footage, functionality and old fashioned maintenance.
Yikes! Well this is quite messy. So much consumer debts no wonder they can’t keep track of it all. Wishing them much peace and great success on their journey out of this situation.
We have been on a recession since the beginning of 2022, but big media and governments all over the world didn’t want to admit it. We need to be wise and use our brains. Knowledge is power and I’d like all the family to be powerful! Just purchased some PbatesLTD Thanks for keeping us informed during this times of doubt?
My husband and I were looking at a pro-athlete who made 22k per WEEK. We did the math and that's 95k per month. I jokingly said "I don't know how I could spend anywhere near that much per month". Then we did the calculations on a mortgage for a 10 million dollar house (15 yr, ~6% interest)... and wow. That was 85k per month for a house most pro athletes would upgrade to! It doesn't matter how much money you make. Bad habits are bad habits.
Great episode and important reminder than the suburbs can lead you to ruin your life to try to keep up with the neighborhood lifestyle!
Well pro athletes that make $1mill per year don’t buy $15million houses. Those athletes make $15million per year.
Great video! Really enjoyed it.
Aruba native here, its very obvious you should of only taken the Aruba trip.
I’d love to see follow ups on everyone that has been on the show. It would be interesting to know if they followed Ramit’s advice or if they did something different. There are couples that I’ve predicted would succeed, others would fall off their plan in a couple months, some would file bankruptcy, and others get divorced.
Thank you for your shows, I find them all very interesting and good to get an understanding of different peoples approach to spending and managing money.
I feel for this family. It’s becoming more and more common for people to live lifestyles they can’t afford especially with the pressure of social media and keeping up with the Jones.
They are taking a step in the right direction and if focused will change their spending habits and become more transparent about their family finances.
I’m sincerely confused as to how one spouse has no clue about the couple’s marital debts. Do partners not share log in passwords to shared accounts? Is one just not reviewing emails or opening bills in the mail? I feel it is unfair of the partner who is “hands off” to blame the partner leading the finances. Not that this is an excuse for the leader’s financially irresponsible choices either. But having one’s head in the sand, blaming someone else for not telling them about the finances in their shared home is a cop out. These episodes are beneficial and speak to the psychology of money. Hope this couple works it out.
Totally agree. It truly blew my mind. My first instinct was “how lucky is she that she’s got to go almost two decades without worrying about money” but then I realized… but now she’s in this incredibly, incredibly UNLUCKY position where she can’t even help her daughter go to college. I’m not in the best financial situation in the world but I’m even putting aside money to help my younger SISTER go to college.
Heavy consequence, but going that long just ignoring money is outrageous.
Agree 100%. She even said she knew they were in debt and that the cards were close to maxed when he gave them to her, but claimed she didn’t know. She knew but applied willful ignorance. What threw me is to not know what you’re getting from your paycheck.. This is just lack of awareness
I listened to a podcast and it was a woman who never looked at their mail or check their online accounts and gave her husband financial power of attorney because she just didn't want to deal with taking care of 2 kids and a PT job and the finances. Needless to say, she found out the hard way they have 6 figures of debt, their house is not really their house but a rental and they lost everything, and she had no idea. One of the worst podcasts I ever heard.
There are thousands of thousands of people who have no clue what the finances are. Absolutely no clue.
My wife took more of an interest in our finances because of this podcast. She had a high-level idea of where we were financially, but had little idea how much we spent each month, where our money was, how to access it, etc. I had tried previously to have conversations with her, but she didn't enjoy it and it made her uncomfortable. Being comfortable having those conversations is the greatest gift this podcast gave to me and my spouse. Luckily we've always aligned in our savings habits, and we don't have debt. It was an easy conversation for us, but I could see how if our finances and situation were different, and we were in trouble financially, it would've been harder for her to have those talks.
The JC Penny slander is hilarious 😂
So proud of you two and excited for your future. You are just humans that made mistakes. You are so impressive to address this head on. Overcoming this together will be more rewarding than any vacation.
I command this couple for sharing their life with us. It's not easy but they are going to help so many other people out here. They are not the exception in this society. Too many people are in the same boat. First step is to acknowledge the issue. Now that has been done, so I hope they team up to get back on track. They can totally do this!
Whoever he works for is in trouble....now I know why they're running people's credit before hiring them for certain jobs.
When I joined the Real Estate brokerage I was with for 10 years they ran my credit, which was 820. They can’t afford to have someone deeply in debt working for them. It can be a magnet for fraud.
Yup, every FinTech company I worked for always ran credit
Well hope they dont fire him since it would mean more trouble for the couple...
Aldo ain’t half as smart as he and the Mrs thinks he is. This couple with $200,000 in salary has failed their child.
And, no, I do not think this couple will stick to their debt repayment plan and be out of debt in 2 yrs and 11 mos. Cassandra was already saying “and we maybe won’t be going on vacation next year”. Please, “maybe”…WTH
Yeah, I don't think they get the gravity of the situation they are in.
Money courses should be MANDATORY in our public high schools at the very least. Our marketing culture is *genius* at enticing kids to buy, buy, buy ("Scarcity Brain" is a great read that explains this in detail)! Growing up in the 1980's, we could maybe spend our money at Subway, McDonald's (occasionally). It was common for teens to eat dinner at home before going out to a movie. We shopped for clothing only seasonally (fall and summer). Going to the mall meant mostly walking around and hanging out. We didn't always make a purchase.
People are always saying that. Teaching personal finance in school is not going to work. Youth are not interested in personal finance until later in life.
It’s not knowledge. Its behavior.
Personal finance courses would 100% NOT WORK. It's a great idea but only a few kids would care. Additionally, they will very quickly forget all about what they learned in class. From 18 to 23-25 years old they would have had to remember important details of handling money while still growing the income.
I really wish I had learned how interest worked before I got my first car and credit card. I would have loved to have been taught that in high school.
If you want our standard of living, housing market, stock market and everyone’s retirement account to crash and burn, just say that. 😂 This is America! Our economy relies on three things, consumer ignorance, greed, and military spending. Mess with any of those three and get ready to fight off canibals in a dystopian hellscape.
Freakin' cracking up at your side rants... "What am I even doing on this podcast?!" 🤣🤣🤣 PHENOMENAL! Keep telling it like it is 🙏🏽❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥
Both men were quoting how much things cost, 7k, 30k and 70k. When people put it on credit or loan, these numbers are just a jumping off point. None of these numbers include the interest. If it is a loan tack on 1k if it is on credit.....it is an indefinite number until it is paid off in full.
The value of this video is just as valid to me as a single person earning a fraction of their earnings because I can see how dividing their numbers down to my earnings and debts can be relateable. THANK YOU to them and you.
They need to see the small wins in order to continue paying off debt. That help so much when we were doing the same. Also, get the kids involved so they see their parents aren't perfect and WHY this is so important. It will stick with them forever, in a good way.
This is why it’s crucial to teach your daughters finance… so they’re not so devoid of money confidence that they are subject to the idea that running the finance of a household is a ‘mans job’
If she was better taught finance, and felt more confident to push back on his statement, they’d have nipped this on the bud years ago.
I do believe they will do it though. I also believe Ramit undersold the potential for them to accelerate payoff with his commission role… if he put in more time, and gets an extra 30k bonus over the year… that’s an extra 16k to the debt and 4K to savings (adjusting for tax). They should also get payrise to speed up payoff, and can do some balance transfers too.
@@Run4Ever77 You can be taught something and not have confidence in it to state your stance and raise concerns.
Hers was a confidence thing. She said she didn’t feel knowledgeable enough to question her husband who is ‘the finance guy’, even though she was knowledgeable enough on finance basics.
They will repeat this. I cannot imagine them doing what is right.
If he’s selling commission based financial products, that’s sleazy.
I hope they are able to turn this around, and I hope they also talk to their daughter about what her future spending will look like. When they start cutting back on buying her clothes and things, there is a good chance she’ll start spending more of the money from her job and save less. As a teenager I did something similar. Maybe 17 is too young to read your book, but it may not be a bad idea so that she can get an idea of what she wants her spending to look like and she can start thinking about what she wants her rich life to look like.
This was a huge eyeopener for me. My heart bleeds for them. My debt looks minuscule compared to this story. I think It's time for me to pay this little I have off so I don't fall into the same trap.
Step 1: Know how much you owe.
Step 2: use a debt-payoff calculator to see how long it would take to pay off the debt.
Step 3: Make a plan & set up automatic payments.
Step 4: (optional) contribute extra, because all of the extra will directly go towards paying off the principal.
@@excitedaboutlearning1639 Thanks. I've already read his book and developed a plan, but thanks for your tips.
I feel no sympathy.
Dude keeps taking out ridiculous loans with no intention of ever actually paying for the stuff he's enjoying. He's just constantly hoping that the company, the government, etc. agree to refinance the loan and take a big loss- all while he's taking multiple international vacations and doing a super expensive renovation on his home. His whole financial plan is essentially scamming.
Also, dude has tax liens, multiple accounts in collection, and he's worried about closing accounts because it might hurt his credit rating- what the heck is his credit rating?
@@CliftonHamilton I'm just trying to keep an open mind. You never know what could have happened that brought them to this point. But also, to your point, he probably could have done some shady things in the past. I don't know.
No vacation for 2 years is not unreasonable most families are not able to afford vacations at all and would feel blessed to have even 1 vacation especially one comparable to the type this family goes on. Most families are lucky to afford a long weekend to a local amusement park
They can do it although it might take longer. Get rid of all the credit cards. They need serious commitments and teamwork. Stop living beyond their means it’s unrealistic and stressful. We can all learn from this financial crisis, thanking both of them for sharing their situation.
> Do you think they can do it?
It at least sounds that they will give it a good try. The follow-ups give me some hope that they understand the situation and are on board with the plan.
If not possible to consolidate right away I would go with the avalanche method and revisit the home equity option in 6 months. If you are still on track by then it proves they're serious and could do that to lower the cost / speed things up.
Excellent episode! The most frustrating parts about this conversation, was to see how nonchalant Aldo is about all of the debt and how in the dark Cassandra has been. Women, please learn personal finance basics. Have conversations with your spouses and make sure there is a clear mutual understanding. Financial health is so key to a healthy & happy marriage :)
They can do it, but it will take at least 5 years. They still don't seem on the same page with spending.... they will cut back, but not deep enough.
Hey! Hey! What's wrong with jcp?? I buy joggers, pj's, and other nice things there!! And yes they are still around, thank you very much!! 😂😂45:36