“Why did we spend $40K on trips we can't afford?”
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- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2023
- Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Emily and John, in their mid 30s, living in Boston with their 2 year old son. Both coming from blue collar backgrounds, they’ve successfully broken many negative generational patterns thanks to a $200k combined income-but they struggle to break harmful spending habits.
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0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
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I’m 22 and just got out of college with my first “big boy” job, would I qualify to talk to you Ramit? It seems like this podcast has been couples only but what about a young professional?
He had a single person Sophina on his show so I guess you just have to get through the vetting process.
Ramit also has a philosophy about seasons of life. Not many 22 year olds are ready to start thinking seriously about saving. All the best
Ramit, I'm from NZ &have two young boys. I feel I need to come to your podcast ASAP; sailing in a sinking boat at the moment. 😭🙏
I need you, Ramit! I have a very deep $$250k+ hole to dig out, alone, with 2 kids, after divorce.
In 2019 I did a no spend/low spend year. I set a budget and stuck to it. It was a semi-tight budget but reasonable. I budgeted in $20 a week of guilt free spending. By March I found I often forgot about that because so many things I loved cost no money--reading, bicycling, watching movies on Netflix and seeing friends.I let all my friends in on what I was doing and told them I wanted to include them in meeting up for things that didn't cost money. No drinks after work unless we shared a bottle of wine at someone's house. One night we wanted to make a summer punch so we each brought an ingredient to my home and had a glorious night. No dining out for me. A few times I would actually still meet them at a restaurant with the understanding that I would not be ordering anything. I would hang out with them while they waited for a table. Then go with them to the table and talk and laugh until their food came and then would exit. We had a glorious time of at least an hour catching up at no cost. (They wanted to pay but I told them my choices should not cost them money.) We attended free plays and music in the parks. We went on long walks and to farmers markets. My favorite was we once met up at a huge bookstore and each had an identical scavenger hunt list of things like dog, monster, kitchen item, storm..etc. We split up and each took pictures on our phones of the items. Then we left the store and had a picnic while we shared each others pictures. It was so much fun and cost nothing. My point was to break the consumer habit. I stopped wandering stores when bored or sad. I stopped ads from hitting my inbox. I never went on Amazon and just took the time to shop local. At the end of the year I'd broken the consumer habit, paid off all my debt for the first time in over a dozen years and had saved enough to put 25% down on a small condo in the heart of the city. That was in 2020 and now with those habits I'm paying off my 30 year mortgage in 4 years. The kicker? I was 61 years old in 2019. It's never too late and I love my life! Anything is possible. Anything!
It's incredible to use your creativity and imagination to think about fun and entertainment in a whole new way. It's sounds like you also really got to know your friends better than just texting. We don't do that enough.
The scavenger hunt in a huge bookstore sounds like something kids should do.
@@martina5296 At heart we are all big kids if we just let ourselves play. :)
So inspiring. Well done you. 👏👏🙌🏾🙌🏾
Your comment is what I needed to hear today. At 39, sometimes I worry that it took me too long to get my act together but you just gave me hope and the motivation to keep going. Thank you, you made my day!
@@alliborlandI'm not a financial expert but I would recommend that you are fully intentional with your money, and keep a record of what you spend. Have a budget. I have made a table of all possible day-to-day expenses, including, food, petrol, household goods, gifts, postage, clothes and anything else and fill it in at the end of each day. Then add up the total. It makes you more aware of those spontaneous and sometimes unnecessary purchases. And is a deterrent, because I love the days when I write zero in every column!
This does not include regular monthly outgoings like rent/mortgage, utilities, car tax and insurance, etc.
But just keep an eye out for what you are spending.
Put a certain percentage of your income into a savings account every month, anything from 10 to 25 if you can afford it.
When you start working pay into a pension. Get advice about this from an adviser or the workplace.
Embrace a simple life and enjoy those things that are free. There are plenty of these, as the lady above says. Don't buy anything unless you really need it.
Don't put yourself under pressure to buy lots of expensive gifts at birthdays or Christmas. Your loved ones will not appreciate them any more than a heartfelt simple gift and they would never want you to go into debt for them!
But mainly..... Enjoy life!!!! Don't be stingy or mean but know where your money is going! You have a wonderful life ahead of you. Look after yourself and you will be able to share your good fortune with others when you are strong and financially established. Good luck !
I love thag their rich life is to take care of their grandchildren and pay for their son's wedding. I love them and wish them a long and happy marriage
I'm from Portugal and an unwritten cultural quirk is that everyone says " we don't believe in witches", but everyone knows someone who removes their evil eye.
Her Christmas story really hit a chord for me. When I was kid, we were in tough times and my dad told me and my siblings that Christmas would be small and not to expect much (this went on for a few years). Then he'd go all out and get us tons of gifts. I know he meant it to be a nice surprise for us, but it actually made me feel really guilty and worried. I didn't know if we could afford it and would've been happy with a smaller Christmas. I felt like he was trying to buy our love or prove he was a good provider when he didn't need to. Thirty years later and this memory still brings up guilt and sadness. We loved our dad and he didn't have to earn that love. I never doubted his ability to work hard for us. I wished he'd been more secure in that.
My parents did the SAME thing. I felt guilty every Christmas as a kid because of it to the point of crying, and still have to work through feelings of guilt whenever people buy me a gift
Really enjoyed this episode. This couple is one of the most self aware couples I’ve seen on this podcast. Admitting their faults and really wanting to change. Not blaming anyone for their mistakes, and taking full responsibility for where they are. Wish them the best. They can definitely get to where they want to be with that attitude. ❤
Yes!!!
Absolutely
Not only self aware but they are respectful of each other. They aren’t against one another. They’re attacking the issue not each other. Love it. 😍
Same I love that they’re not toxic or resentful of each other either. They remind me of me and my husband coming from similar homes and getting our financial shit finally together in our 30s. We also have been together since high school too. It makes me feel hopeful for our goals and our budget we made too.
This one hit me in the feels. Blue collah, Boston, Aruba.
I liked seeing an average blue collar couple. Let’s get more of this! Everyday people that are so relatable for those of us who may not have esteemed jobs/positions and education (doctors, lawyers, multiple degrees). Also can we see some singles. Everyone is not coupled up and are working with just one income and it would be nice to see more of these types.
The wife is a nurse practitioner…they make almost a quarter of a million dollars a year. That’s not blue collar lol
Not sure how they are blue collar? Plus the wife is an NP. Which means she has her RN and then also has either. Masters or a doctorate. They would not be considered blue collar
These Boston accents warm my heart ❤ I love this couple and wish them the best on their bright future.
Warm your hearrrrrrrrrrt!
Wooahm ya haaht
I’m having a hard time with his accent actually
A couple who seems to really like each other.
Great episode! Emily and John were stressed out thinking they were on the verge of financial collapse. Knowing your financial situation is empowering regardless of where you are. Fun to see this couple take this on with 100% responsibility! They are giving their son a huge gift. When my son was little we would go on hikes, go to the beach, pick blueberries, go to the farmers market every week. He got toys twice a year, birthday and Christmas. We would go to garage sales and get second hand toys at other times which he loved doing. He had his own set of garden tools and we worked together in our vegetable garden. He is now 27 YO and doing very well financially. He loves the outdoors and wilderness camping. His childhood set him up to enjoy simple pleasures and his life is richer for it.
We hike and love to be out in nature in general. If you like the outdoors at all, there are so many AMAZING low cost things to do and places to see. We often just tent 75% of a vacation and then rent a really nice hotel for a night or two at the end. This doesn't work for everyone and I get that but that strategy has allowed us so much more travel in the states and also helped us save money for international trips as well. We also use the outdoors as an activity on a regular basis instead of spending money on movies etc
@@sometimeslifehandsyouapple1085 I love your 75% tint vacation!🌲
What a lovely couple. They were so respectful to each other even in scrutinizing & vulnerable moments. My main comment is when Ramit said that they didn’t miss the reduction in salary that the husband encountered. But if they are just borrowing/spending money they don’t have to go on vacation, etc. isn’t that technically considered missing it? I would argue that they DO miss it and struggled to adjust their lifestyle to fit it. FWIW, I am taking notes as I need to apply all of these lessons to my CSP too. Thanks for all you do, Ramit!! Wishing this couple abundant financial success ahead ❤
Some of us knew ALL this at 18 and weren’t mature enough to do anything till our 30s. Better now than never!
Thank you for those examples on how to make a child feel secure about money. We will be sharing those with our toddler more often.
Best of luck to this loving and genuine couple.
Cultural:
1. Most Filipino households have The Last Supper wall decor on their dining room floor and rosary on their rear view window!
2. A lot of Filipino children are groomed and conditioned to be a nurse as their investment so that they can take care of their parents in the future and they can be successful abroad.
These Boston accents and them meeting in a field as teenagers is very endearing.
3 weeks in Italy on a HELOC… 😂.
They seem like good and capable people and that they have a solid marriage and each other. They seemed on the same page on everything, even their mistakes, and on the solutions. Benefit of being together since they were so young and molded together when they were still malleable? I don’t know but you rarely see this level of cohesion.
They also have easy areas to cut ($40k a year in travel?!?).
Easier said than done if you love travel.
This was my favorite episode. I recently found your podcast through a friend and this felt the most relatable. My husband and I have been together since high school and our also in our 30s just now figuring out our financial shit. We have similar backgrounds to their families and upbringings and are also in New England. We also are the first to break free from generational trauma and poverty too. I really felt how Emily felt too feeling stupid about money and the debt I have, but what matters is I’m taking care of it now and learning.
We finally got a proper budget this weekend and it’s really not that hard as I also thought. Our debt is also from similar mismanagement and overspending on things we don’t need right now or didn’t need back then, but we’re on the right track. I really loved this couple and saw me and my husband in them both. I wish them and their son all the best in life ❤
This particular couple was so relatable. They were real and I liked this episode a lot.
Ramit was particularly encouraging this episode and this is exactly what this couples needed. I am so happy for their strong marriage, their strong love for their son, and their strong desire to break the cycle.
Like Emily, coming across Ramit’s show and book is one of the best things in my life this year. It’s true even though I was not in any financial trouble. I am so grateful for this.
Traveling can wait while starting to build a strong financial future can’t.
I don't know if it's still the same, but when I grew up other Filipino families had a giant hand-carved, wooden fork and spoon on the wall.
This couple is very relatable and nice. They’ll be in great shape.
this couple is a really refreshing pair who genuinely want to be better, wishing them luck.
I absolutely love listening to your podcast. I asked my ex to listen and he loves it as well. Very informative
Best wishes to this cute couple! Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. ❤ I loved this episode
1:10:54
This spoke to my inner child. You'll always have a roof over your head... [you'll be fed]. We'll be a family. We save so that we can be safe.
I needed to hear this when i was younger. It would have been great then, but it's just as welcome now.
Love this episode. Being able to hone in on my values has really helped me keep focus on my rich life. And it’s helped me say no to things that don’t align. Because let’s get real. Spending on things that aren’t your top values and it’s beyond what you can afford is just not a good time.
Thank you. I'm glad you've found a way to focus on your Rich Life.
@@ramitsethi definitely with your help. I’ve been following you for years
I have a simple rule, if I can't buy something outright, I don't buy it. It takes time, but you get used to going without and working out what you actually need in your life vs what you want. Not worrying about money is more important to me than the souless clutter and reduced bank balances that you amass through impulse spending. Learning to live without is a superpower. Sure, life isn't as fun but I'd rather that than lose my home, go bankrupt or work until I drop dead of old age.
Life can be fun without spending lots of money or no money just by using our creativity and imagination like we did when we were kids.
@@martina5296 I definitely agree with this. The problem is that the way companies and society works now, the assumption is that everything that's fun costs money. No one immediately thinks of going for a walk as fun, or playing a board game and the way everything is structured and laid out that most things cost money to get to or set up.
There are things that make sense to borrow for - houses, cars, education . . . . I'm sure there are other things, but not many. But that should largely be *assets* not experiences.
Thank you so much for providing this resource. This episode really hit home for me.
Maybe every job should have courses where they talk to u about pensions, retirement accounts, HSA. Bc they dont explain this stuff. They just expect u to know it when u start a job. Also, the last yr of college should teach this stuff as well.
beautiful, kind couple. Wishing them all the best.
Loved this episode- felt very real. I like how Emily wasn’t afraid to go “ off script” and ramble. Also love the Boston accents.
It makes sense you love learning about unwritten cultural quirks, because you’re actually an anthropologist Ramit 😊
these two are adorable with great values. THey will do well
Same feeling about money: I only feel good when I am spending it. I also sometimes spend it as if to take revenge. How/ when is one supposed to feel good about money then...?
Thank you so much for helping us educate ourselves. Better now than later 💫
revenge? damn i hope you are better now with it lol
Loved this! Thanks Ramit for ur financial advice, helped me sit down work on it & great a budgeting channel to keep me accountable!!
I do admire and praise all these people that decided to come to this show and shared their's problems. I related to so many couples that is here in this podcast. 🙏..thank you Ramit...I wanted to come and share my story..but I don't think my partner is willing 😢.
“Aruba, Jamaica… Oooo I wanna take ya…” They’re just Kokomo fans. Next up will be “Bermuda, Bahama… Come on pretty mama…”
😎
wow lolol. you are definitely my age I love it. Time to throw on some Full House lol
A great episode, thanks to Ramit, Emily, and John. I find their honesty and introspection inspiring, and wish I'd been this squared away at their age, in terms of being aware of where changes need to be made and willing to make them. They are literally creating their future as we watch. Their son is lucky to have these parents! Good work, y'all!
Looked up your YT channel after watching the Netlix series. You're really exceptional, hitting where it hurts, with respect and humor. You make a great therapist, no matter how often you say you''re not a therapist; 🙂. don't know of any other channel where people / couples speak so openly about finances. Seems to be more taboo than talk about s e x 😀.
Its all bout earning more then you actually spending, it's tough at first but eventually u get used to it and that is the beauty of it.
Io ti seguo dall Italia, amo i tuoi video, questo in particolare mi ha commosso profondamente grazie Ramit, perchè seguendoti imparo davvero tanto
Just saying love the “accent” make me think of all my East coast family ❤ lovely couple 🌸
Best episode yet!
Super charming (chahhming) couple. One of my favorite episodes in a while. 10/10 accents. I actually think they'll change and get their spending under control
We will fix it!!! Good luck to all of you trying hard!!!
When he was talkinh about food and roof in the end, it alsmost made them cry😢 so sweet❤
Hi Ramit, Should I read your book first or listen to your podcast?
She shouldn’t feel silly. I was 64.
Such a candid and emotional episode, thank you for providing a platform that enables us to learn and improve from one episode to the next ❤
I'm rooting so hard for them
Never too late to start.
We all wish we learn the rules of money and how to at 18, still we can do it now as well..now we know how❤👍🏽.. dont call ourselves an idiot..thank you Ramit😇
I loved this episode!! I love their cohesive commutation & how open they were.
I only listened to this on the podcast and I'm so surprised how different everyone looks like compared to my expectations
Amazing episode, these just keep getting better and better. This couple were lovely and will go far!
I LOVE YOU RAMIT!
I am so freaking out about getting older! Neither of my parents have much. My father passed away with nothing to his name except a land trust my grandmother had made him the beneficiary of..this was the scariest thing to me. I don’t want to work till I die. I started late investing, I never had a role model. Now I have about 20 years till retirement and I have no idea how I am going to have enough to retire. I am a single mom with 2 kids that I have financially supported for the bulk of their lives with the help of my mother. My mother is 72 years old and still works, it makes me sad and I don’t want to do that. Help me Ramit!!!
Bless your father's soul, we all die away with nothing rich or poor we came with nothing we go with nothing
The best time to start was 20 years ago, but the next best time is now. Now that you know better you can do better. Don't beat yourself, give yourself grace. You took care of your kids.
20 years is a REALLY long time if you get yourself organized and put away(invest) anything you can afford. Take an honest look at your budget and cut out what isn't absolutely necessary. You can do this.
I vacation many times a year...but there are lots of free things to do in your city and travel
Going to the gym and having a fine lifestyle are visible to others. If our financial situation was visible to others (eg emblazoned on our T-shirts!) we would be so ashamed we wouldn't let it happen! People's "money lives" are private but thats the reason so many people , sometimes those you would least expect, are in trouble.
God bless this couple; I am pulling for them
I love this podcast. Thank you so muck for these videos. Listening to you makes me realize how simple it is to just start and how blessed I am that I have not made any large commitments (house marriage kids) because that could easily set me back financially despite being in my early 30's I've still got a chance to turn things around!!!!
Good listening
The psychology of money that comes up on these podcast episodes is so interesting!
The math is clear so I overlooked this type of content for too long.
OMG My mom did the same thing with the JCPenny's catalog!!! We also got everything we asked for and my mom couldn't afford it! That's insane. I've never heard anyone else mention that. I'm sending this to my sister. 😮
I've been in Boston most of my life and never had desire to go Aruba. None of my friends has ever gone.
I am amazed how much people pay for cars but that is normal. How is possible people pay so much for subscriptions when all that stuff is free online
I need to know how they pay $20 per month for daycare in Boston! I live in the suburbs and pay $2100!!!
Fair play to that couple, you can do it 👍
Great video, my only comment is....
Not once did they mention the future baby expenses. Like they mentioned a conversation... but as far as college tuition, and that child buying a house... second baby.
College x2
Weddings x2
Helping them get a house x2
Parents getting older x3?
No one factors this in, but if the child gets into trouble with the law.... a lawyer can EASILY cost 50k-100k depending. Little slush funds are important to have.
Vacations can be put on hold.
So, yes I would totally list to “I will teach you to be rich” asmr because you have a very nice voice.
Thank you so much for teaching me that I don't have to wait until I become a millionaire to start living my rich life. I can start living my rich life now by keeping records of all my spending plans and being in touch with my finances.
Spending out of boredom is huge! Good luck guys. It’s a change of lifestyle and habits.
I have never related to a couple more. I really think they are going to be just fine and they are going to be so happy WHILE they are making changes to accomplish their rich life
There's always a good chance to back it up. Around the 30 those expensive trips would not make them hunger for their later life trips too. But the moderate life style opens up for the better trip in future with the expanding the family members. Later life there would be the time we don't feel super hungry for not spending money only feel secure without spending so much since at that time we don't need so much grandiose to show off.
At least this couple has the income to work this out. God bless them to do it!
👍🙏😊🙏 Sir Ramit, YOU ARE BY FAR THE REAL DEAL...😘 I adore your Passionate Podcast...GOD BLESS YOUR SERVICE!!! 🙏😇🙏
I have your book, I'm watching and listening to your stuff. It's great-thank you 🥰 I know the Canadian equivalent to a 401k is an RRSP (or GRSP if matched by your company) and a Roth IRA is a TFSA. Could you possibly do all of us Canadians a solid and suggest Canadian bank accounts and credit cards you like as well as a Canadian financial planning company that you would recommend? I'm looking into WealthSimple but I'm not sure-but I'm done with TD Bank! Looking for "Canadian equivalent" suggestions 😀
yes please!! from Toronto. Is Vanguard Canada the same as Vanguard? I'm with Investors Group paying fees and would like to switch somewhere else.
@@user-sf4tg6iu7i Yes, Vanguard Canada is the same as Vanguard. Switch to a digital broker ASAP and self-manage what you invest in
I have a question about vacation costs in the CSP in this episode.
Is there a reason why it was included in Guilt-Free Spending and not under Savings Goal/Vacations?
I think he was showing them that they were spending money on vacations like it was guilt-free spending so they could see how much they were not paying attention to
Pensions are so rare nowadays. Take advantage of it
I like them they will be successful in the future. They are not delusional
A Colombian Trent : every time you visit a Colombian family , first thing they offer is … Coffee 😊😊😊
I would love to see a single parent episode
I am hoping to teach what I didn’t know to my kids!
What an amazing couple 👏👏
They have a solid marriage, and will be in the path to wealth in the near future.
So, I had to leave this comment because I couldn’t leave it on your podcast… you we doing a promotion for “calm” on the “guilt free travel”ep but what’s funny is I actually listen to you or “the soul of enterprise” (another accountants show) to go to sleep on a timer lol 😂 (not that I don’t listen other times but yeah lol)
I'm a 47-year-old student I learn from others. I watch you guys to remember I'm not doing that bad. I have had my own HVAC and appliance repair company with my wife of 20 years, for 5 years now I'm looking into the SBA to help my business do even better. I did all that with a GED and no college degree 😮
I love this couple, they are basically everyone I grew up with. Aruba, Multi-family, Somehow the last people still getting a pension - Check! Check! and Check!
This is an interesting channel. The one question I have is why are the couples never interviewed together in the same room? They are always in different rooms/locations?
I think probably it’s to detach from one another or any emotional distractions, the human psyche is strange in that way - we feel more comfortable with processing complex emotions when no one’s looking, that’s my thought at least
@@kelvinmaldonado7547bingo
They are literally sitting across from each other in most cases they are just on different devices for the Zoom. It presents better for the videos. That is what I believe anyway. In some of the tapes, I can see them looking at each other.
It's probably to prevent feedback from yh3 mics
To prevent audio feedback
The set looks like the typical Indian family living room :)))) It would be weird if the backdrop was anything other than pink. It's interesting to see Ramit's "tells" that you don't see on the desk format. These two are exactly what so many in North America need to see and hear. The Doodle, the BMW & the Mercedes, the Frenchie & the vacations .... great if you have all your buckets covered, not if you just have them as a status symbol and your money house is on fire. I love that they are both interested.
Best accents ever.
Oregon people go to Maui. Easy to reach.
Ramit, is there a reason you emphasize gross income as representative of how much a couple makes? John mentions how their income doesn't feel like very much, particularly because they live in a HCOL area, but you downplayed his concern by exclaiming "you make $200k!" Could his concern actually be legitimate? To me, there's a pretty significant difference between 192k (gross) and 127k (after tax). Focusing on the gross income seems like a misrepresentation of how much they actually see in their bank account.
That's a good question
Yeah that was my first thought. $200k in Boston isn’t that amazing at all.
Important to understand both, but gross is equal footing for all. Net can be adjusted / manipulated (e.g., you might make $200K and invest $$$ pre-tax), leaving many people to "feel" cash poor while they're actually investing a lot each month. We start from gross for certain calculations and use net for others.
@@ramitsethi makes sense, thanks for the explanation. I do think tax rate and net income deserve more recognition though bc it's such a massive difference in most cases.
Everyone in the New England area goes to Aruba
My issue with these is it takes a loottttttttt before you get to the point.
I love that Ramit mentioned Kmart! 😆🎄 I grew up putting all my Christmas gifts on lay-away 🎁 My first introduction to debt! 😆
i did the same but at montgomery ward and circuit city. im not a nostalgic person, i live in the present but those things really warm my heart to think about
@@lowlowseesee Me too!! I miss me some Blue Light Specials!! 💙
Everyone in the PNW goes to Hawaii, so it makes sense Bostonians going to Aruba.
Way too many vacations on this one. I know Ramit’s big thing is vacations but holy crap if you’re taking 10 micro vacations plus 2 larger vacations a year is absolutely wild to me. A 3 day anniversary gettaway MAYBE a larger annual vacation is all you should be doing til you reach half a million.
I might be able to afford more travel, but I have no time!
Agreed. They vacation a lot more than the average person. They can def get this down to waaayyyy less and commit to going somewhere new when they go which will make it very fulfilling :)
Why does Ramit always say it’s the loan officer fault or gets extremely loud blaming a realtor? He seems to teach people to not take ownership and blame others for the risks they decide to take. Yes let’s blame the McDonald’s employee for not putting my health interest first.
My takeaway is to not assume they have your best interest in mind.
I wonder whether Ramit and his team offers "off-camera" consults, because I am debt-free and have specific questions about what more I can invest in, aside from a Roth and general 401Ks.
Join us in iwt.com/moneycoaching
he doesn't do consults but if you go to his website, he teaches classes.
If you are a us expat living in Ireland would the money couching still be useful
😭😭😭😭😭😭perchè non si puo più mettere i sottotitoli in italian?Ti seguo dall Italia
Love it