why you can't stick to healthy habits and continuously fall into self sabotaging loops.
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- Опубликовано: 6 авг 2024
- Hi my loves 💗 in today's video I chat with you about why you struggle to stick to healthy habits & discipline, where this resistance might be coming from and ways to get out of your own way. I share with you everything I've learned to finally end years of self sabotaging cycles in hopes to inspire you to do the same. 🤍
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00:00 self sabotage
09:32 unrealistic standards
12:57 the stories you tell yourself
18:06 rewards
23:13 perfectionism
it’s like you knew I needed this video right now :) been feeling like I’m falling back in to a slump and it’s helpful seeing and validating that I am not the only one ❣️
I got you 🥰
@@eliciagoguen thank you 🥹
Thank you for this; this is exactly what I’ve been struggling with since I turned 18. My dad and stepmom had me do everything and my stepmom would constantly tell me I didn’t clean well enough as a kid; I would have to scrub things for 5+ hours that were stained, so I didn’t have a way to scrub the stains out and they wouldn’t tell me how. They basically made me do things that weren’t possible and would just keep saying I had to do it all again until they would approve. I had to clean up after everyone and clean their bathroom despite not being allowed to use it. I was also taught that it was selfish to care about my appearance and I was punished for doing any kind of self care, so I’m trying to unlearn that as well. I didn’t realize until watching this that it was the problem, but it makes so much sense.
I’m so sorry to hear this 🤍 but I’m really happy that you’re starting to become aware of it now. The first start of real change is becoming aware. I’m so proud of you 🤍 you are so strong.
You speak very well. You have so many good points and they flow smoothly from your mind to your mouth
Why thank you ☺️
This video came at a really perfect time. Some of my new habits I'm trying to implement were put on pause because of weather where I'm at and that voice in the back of my head started trying to get me to just quit since I wasn't perfect with things. I've let perfectionism keep me from trying for so much of my life. This helped me see that I just need to pick back up where I left off because if not now, than probably never. Thank you for you words of wisdom!
I’m so happy to hear this 🤍🙏🏼
Watched this on my lunch break and omg the way this has turned my mood around!!! Thank you for again talking about parts work and about childhood and WHY we end up repeating cycles/resisting change. It's helped me reflect and realise I don't need to let one part of me dictate my mood for the whole day - I need to listen and acknowledge that part but I don't need to let that overrun everything. Thank you for always speaking with such eloquence and grace! I haven't commented for a while but I've still been watching and listening to the podcast!!🧡
It’s so nice to see your face & comments 🥹✨ and you’re so right about everything!!! I’m sooooo glad you enjoyed this video and are feeling into a new energy! We seriously have so so so much more power than we think. It’s always been helpful for me to understand myself in order to truly step into that power. ✨
I totally feel the chores thing. My dad when he was growing up was forced to do hard labor by my granny (who we both love dearly.) he said one time he had to spend days digging holes for some reason, and how hard it was. Well growing up, my dad had this same mentality for my brother and I, where he had to work hard just because. There was no allowance or any sort of reward tied to it. We just had to. We’d spend Saturdays outside raking, moving firewood, thatching, etc. and also had to help mom inside the house. Sometimes when we had friends over, they also were forced to help out too. And if we didn’t understand something or were too slow, he’d yell at us (even my friends lol).
I love my dad and I forgive him for all of this, but I could see how growing up this way effects my ability to follow through on the routines I want to set up for myself.
Wow. Thank you for sharing 🤍 and I really love that you’re still able to extend grace to your father, as do I, because I understand why. Sending you lots of love and I’m very proud of you for having such a mature perspective on this all 🙏🏼
I am reading a book on gratitude and today’s practice is gratitude for bills/services. I wanted to express my gratitude to you, for providing me with so much wisdom through RUclips and the podcast!! The fact I can access all of this incredible information and I do not have to pay a thing is such a blessing. I resonate with you so much and just love your content. Cannot wait for your book. So thank you thank you thank you! ❤
What is the book called? Sounds super interesting!!
This has been more helpful than you realize...I was going through cycles of going hard on health goals and punishing myself and then giving up completely and hating myself...realized it had a lot to do with the unrealistic standards I grew up with and how my inner teenager is rebelling against those standards and against feeling oppressed and controlled. I realized that I had to start slower and more realistic and only do what "made sense" to me for now...decided to just start with quitting pop and energy drinks and having less coffee because when I have too much of those, I can't eat properly all day. Otherwise, I realized my eating habits are actually pretty healthy and I have a pretty solid morning routine, including a savoury breakfast that contains all the macronutrients. Watching this made me realize that I was doing a lot already and that I have to work through through the emotional issues that make daily movement and exercise difficult for me before I can incorporate movement into my routines in a sustainable way. Thanks a lot for this thoughtful view....lots of food for thought.
Your videos always come at the right time, i’m so grateful for it 🥰
this girl is a blessing
I am struggling with sticking to my goals and clean habits. Thank you for this vid! I am working on changing that inner, critical voice
Thank you for speaking on the effects on being forced to do never ending cleaning from an age on a daily basis, and how it can create resistance towards it as an adult.
this actually makes so much sense
I really love and appreciate your videos. You are such a game changer and refreshing pov when it comes to transparency and truly trying your best to figure shit out and not just regurgitate what everyone else is saying about the topics you speak on. It's what I need! You are always speaking on what I've been working on so hard and where I hit a stand still, etc and really help me think through things and stay on track & be realistic. It's crazy how every video you post truly resonates with me each time like I don't even know how it's possible lol but I swear, it's true. And it's amazing. And soooooooo truly helpful and refreshing.
I pray you are creating a life you truly love n feel safe in. 🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾
My childhood experiences and resulting traumas around healthy masculine containment are eerily similar. Thank you so much for making this video and articulating what I’ve been trying to understand about myself for years! ❤
We appreciate your insights. You'll always have our support.
This was my fave video of yours so far- very very insightful and helpful❤ ty!
This is sooo ME, and something I've been struggling with most of my life. And I never understood why, why am I standing in my own way and why I don't do the things I actually want to do. Really thank you, now I have something to think about and work on, to hopefully break these vicious cycles. And definitely going to buy your book! ❤
I’m soooo stoked for the book to come out! thank u for another insightful and eye opening vid
Thank you so much ☺️
This video was amazing, and so eye opening. I love how you connected one’s internal resistance to healthy habits with perfectionism. The rule of the inner tyrant is something I’ve suffered with for a long time (due to a step father being much like your own), and yet I’ve never made the connection between that and my inner resistance to healthy habits. I also loved the practical advice you included. I can’t wait to read your book, I pre-ordered it as soon as I could. Thank you for all the helpful content you put out on RUclips and your podcast!
I’m so glad you resonated!! Thank you so much for pre-ordering the book 🥹 I think it will definitely be a helpful guide on your journey of becoming aware of the parts of yourself that are playing a role in your life. It did for me. 🥰🤍
This was incredibly helpful Elicia! I’ve been feeling some real resistance to my routine this week and was really starting to get irrationally upset about it. As usual this video was right on time 🦋
6:02 I think you make a good point, that consciously or not, people are rejecting discipline as adults because of an innate desire to rebel against the system/ authority. People rebel for different reasons, some legitimate and some not, but for a lot of people it starts to become self defeating.
Yes!!
I just LOVE all your videos! I listen to you in the mornings at work and you just give me so much life❤ thanks for your channel!
Thank you so much!!!!☺️
Elicia I wanted to tell you how inspiring you are ! I have always been sporty and slim enough but since I had a baby in 2021 I haven’t been eating well/ exercising . And probably put on a stone. I don’t look bad but I don’t feel my best self. Constantly buying new clothes and being unhappy because of how they fit. Because of you I started paying attention to what do I actually eat and I have been eating so much processed foods and sugar. I didn’t know how to stop this because I’m the type of person who knows I need something sweet everyday and I like comfort food. Literaly this week I looked up simple healthy recipes I can stick to . And bought all the ingredients. For example, I started making banana oat pancakes for breakfast with dark choc chips on top. For lunch I make salmon bagels with cheese . I made a healthy brownie recipe to do me for the week for my sweet cravings. I’ve been making smoothies because I’m not a good fruit eater. And when I need to snack, I’ve either been having rice cakes / my brownies / granola. I kind of feel shocked how much better I’m feeling - I’m feeling more full, I feel so satisfied that I don’t go to snack when I’m not hungry ( I used to always do that after having pizza or processed foods for lunch) . I can’t thank you enough because I felt like if you could switch your emotional eating around so could I. I bought some new workout gear on sale because I literaly hadn’t bought it in years and needed to buy quality leggings and a jacket/ socks . To anyone facing similar issues , it’s too overwhelming to change your eating habits when you look at instagram reels all day buy don’t actually know what to make. Start small- choose a new healthy breakfast, / lunch idea and buy those ingredients. You can then mix and match like I’ve made the energy balls just from cacao , dates and almonds . And similar ingredients for pancakes. Before I was eating so much processed food or just food with no nutrients like breaded chicken in a fajita wrap. I also feel a huge sense of achievement for making my own food from scratch and it’s literaly same speed. To anyone with emotional eating you can do it !! Don’t remove stuff , just substitute it for something healthier. Elicia I wanna meet you in person to give you a hug ❤️❤️❤️ this is just the beginning of my healthier food journey but thanks
THIS VIDEO IS INCREDIBLE, THANK YOUUUUU WOW
YOURE WELCOME 🥰🤍
the universe knew i needed this
I needed this💙 Thank you🌼
Exactly what I needed. Bc im the worst with self sabotage!
We have similar upbringings. Thank you sm for this video 🫶🏽
Thank you for marking this video ❤
hi again, I wanted to ask if you could do a video about moving out and living on your own for the first time. I’m 24 and just got my first apartment. I felt so behind my peers in life and like I’m just now catching up. thank you, always love your videos! 💗💗💗
I clicked on this video randomly and as it was loading I realized “wait why did I click on this,I’m gonna watch it anyway whatever” and I’m glad I did thank you
I’ve been struggling with my mindset around food and exercise especially with exercise, exercise growing up was a form of punishment and I see why the reason I look at it as a negative thing was because there were times when I would be a kid, I would be crying until I couldn’t get up anymore from overworking myself because it was forced on me for being “bad” exercise was never introduced to me in a positive light ever
i love youuu, thank you💖💖💖
Love you!!! 🥰
I struggle with parenting myself too elicia because I grew up with an authoritarian single mother. Thanks for this because you reminded me I’m being too strict with myself too lately and not allowing time for any fun. It ends up biting me in the ass every time and I wonder why I fall off.
I’m so proud of you 🤍
Book cover is so cute might get it just because
Omg thank you 🥹🤍
I am definitely planning on buying your book ⭐️
Thank you so much 🥹
I’m 5:30 in and sobbing. Wow.
🥺🤍
Loved this. Do you have any advice on surviving toxic/unhealed parents while still living under their roof? Because I’d love a video like that x
I have a whole section of this in my book!! 🤍
Mother has posted 🙏
🥰🤍🤍
I needed this literally did great first 2 weeks of the year then flopped literally bought me to tears a few times in realisation. I had a similar strict father when it came to really anything. I especially need to know my habits now when i have a child on the way literally in 3 months thank you ❤
Early af ganggg💅
Love uuuuu 😍
💙💙💙
Hey love!
I want to share with you a problem / insecurities.
I love clicking photos, Videos just like you. I want to do modeling too. So, 5yrs ago there was a group a people in my schl who used to hate me for no reason. They found my personal insta account that time my account was public. So they saved my photos and made fake account and tried to interact with my other friends. It was so scary. I'm an Indian, so when I told my dad about that he became so angry he beat me so bad. Still now I feel scare. I don't post my face on social media. (Full face, what if that happen again? )
And yes. I know some people told me to complain in cybercrime . But i dont know how to do it. And what to do.
Please help me if you can.
Thank you love ❤
It just dawned on me, I was told by my parents (according to their observations) that I was like a soda bottle, that whatever I started I wouldn't continue to do or finish and I would fizzle out fast, and I felt so embarrassed by that. So I had this strong urge to prove them wrong and finally started to have more disciplined daily routine and carry them out and much as i can. Therefore, whenever some unexpected thing comes up and I fall out of it I would feel like a total failure as i was proving their earlier point right. I was a soda bottle once again. So I'd fight to keep the habits going even if i dont catch up on enough sleep and then get sick eventually. No wonder its unhealthy af. Thank you for this reminder Elicia! Sending loads of love your way
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First :)
🤍🤍🤍
giiirrrrlllll your hair is POPPING OFF! your hair glowing and being sooo healthy just motivates me to stick to my hair care and put time into it and be intentional. your videos never fail to make me feel motivated and learn something new 🫶🏼
Omg thank you!!!!!!! 🥰🤍🤍 yes babe it’s SO WORTH IT!!
@@eliciagoguen🥰🥰
I loved how you mentioned acknowledging being committed to task. I’m so used to punishing myself for not sticking to my routines but I’m gonna start implementing rewards that don’t involve food lol😂🤍
I needed this video! Thank you so much, Elicia! 💖🫶
oh my god. i'm so sorry if this gets lengthy but you have NO IDEA how well this video spoke to me. THIS is everything i needed to hear. YOU understood and read me better than my therapist and that says a lot. i don't usually comment but this video is a gem to me, honestly. thank you so, so much for this. i'm so grateful. you have an amazing way with words and helping me realize how my childhood has left really bad effects on my adult life. i felt like we were having a one-on-one conversation and that's why it reached my heart the way it did. thank you.
Omg don’t ever be sorry for sharing your story!!! I LOVE when I hear this from you guys 🥹 you are sooo welcome I’m really happy you resonated to this video ❤️ sending you lots of love 🤍🤍
ThankYOU for this..
I really enjoyed this video 💗
You helped me to realize the reasoning behind why it’s been hard for me to stick to the healthy habits I’ve been trying to create for myself for a very long time and I’m excited to reflect and implement in my life the advice you gave
Thank you elicia! 🫶🏼
you don't understand how much i needed this video, thank you so much for always being like an older sister to me, ily elicia 🤍
Aw babe of course!!! I love youuuu 🥰🥰