117. Detransition, Marriage, Psychedelics and Spirituality with Valerie and LaRell Herbert
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- Опубликовано: 25 июл 2024
- LaRell and Valerie Herbert are a married couple with a very unique story. During their time together, LaRell first believed he was a transgender woman and went through full sex trait modification before awakening to self-acceptance as a man.
Join us as we explore their journey through somatic psychology and psychedelic integration. How did their relationship withstand the challenges of detransitioning, medical trauma, and identity crises? What impact did their individual traumas have on their journey?
Discover the intricate dynamics of their blended family and the unexpected twists that unfolded as they navigated the medical pipeline of gender transition. How did their experiences with therapists and surgeons shape their perspectives on identity and healing? Tune in to uncover the profound insights and personal growth that emerged from their transformative journey.
Valerie is a somatic trauma-informed mentor and teacher. She is an earth ceremonialist and weaves wisdom through understanding and learning more about our innate goodness and wildness from connection with Mother Earth and learning from her elements. Although she is classically trained as a systems thinker and understands theoretical approaches and methods of healing trauma, she finds that creating a deep, loving, consistent, and safe relationship and container is how people heal. Valerie helps people remember the wholeness of who they are.
LaRell Herbert is a former transwoman who lived for years believing he was a female born in the wrong body. This belief led him to pursue hormone replacement therapy in 2017 at 36 and gender reassignment surgery in 2019, despite being married to a loving and supportive woman. Through introspection and self-growth, LaRell realized his gender identity was rooted in childhood trauma. In October 2023, he de-transitioned and returned to living as his biologically male self. His journey through trans ideology and lived experience as a trans woman has made him acutely aware of the tragedies young people face when sold the idea of medical transition for happiness. LaRell and his wife Valerie aim to raise awareness about the impact of transition on spouses and family members, recognizing that while transition is a personal choice, it significantly affects those around you.
Books mentioned in this episode:
"The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk: amzn.to/4ePNQ7B
"The End of Gender" by Debra Soh: amzn.to/3XOjgFi
{{chapters}}00:00 Start
[00:00:00] Identity exploration and transition journey.
[00:05:30] Shame and trauma in childhood.
[00:11:45] Discovering transgender identity.
[00:14:10] Inner dissonance in marriage.
[00:18:51] Repression and trauma in relationships.
[00:23:02] Transition and addiction parallels.
[00:25:46] Taking female hormones' impact.
[00:30:42] Hormone effects on emotionality.
[00:33:45] Femininity and bone mass.
[00:38:17] Fear of suicide and transition.
[00:41:22] Blended family challenges.
[00:44:32] Relational healing and gender ideology.
[00:52:20] Vaginoplasty experiences and complications.
[00:53:02] Post-surgical challenges in transitioning.
[00:57:08] Gender identity and self-love.
[01:01:19] Dissociation and body acceptance.
[01:07:00] Gender identity and transition journey.
[01:09:58] Gender identity realization.
[01:12:55] The journey of self-discovery.
[01:17:30] Unique life path and experiences.
[01:22:16] Men's initiation retreats.
[01:24:43] Best friends with therapist.
[01:30:25] Real-life relationships and complications.
[01:31:51] The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care.
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Thank you so much for this wonderful interview @Stephanie Winn! It was a pleasure for Valerie and I to get to share more of our story and learned perspectives having navigated this whole thing together the way we have. We look forward to doing a lot more good work in this area, bringing awareness to the world. I didn't go through this experience to just let it fall to the background. I must use my unfortunate experience to bring awareness of the dangers of falling victim to trans ideology, and one's own sense of identity and self. ♥♥♥
I’ve greatly enjoyed and benefited from LaRell’s insights into his experience with a trans identity, and Valerie seems like an incredibly intelligent, insightful, and compassionate woman. Their story needs to be shared far and wide!
Thank you LaRell and Valerie. I've been watching LaRell's videos and am moved by your story and grateful for your generosity in bringing forward another dimension to this complex condition. I have been doing a (completely unscientific) study on how many trans people and detransitioners say they are from restrictive religious backgrounds and the number is high. Also high is the number of male to female trans people and detransitioners who have a background of abuse in one form or another. Blaire White recently conceded that her trans identity was, in part, a trauma response.
It only makes sense. To desire to transition you must be very unhappy with yourself. Maybe you even hate yourself and wish to obliterate yourself, to bury yourself in a new identity.
Thank you for your story. Good luck and God Bless for your future.
Thanks for Sharing LaRell and Valerie. Keep on keeping on . 🐿
Stephanie, you are the best interviewer/ therapist I have yet. Perhaps part of that success though is the incredibly authentic answers LaRell and Valerie gave. Truly beutiful.
This is the conversation I’ve been waiting to hear! So fascinating!
Larell is cooler than an arctic ice cube 🧊
Really rich conversation. Thank you. As a recently “detransitioned” (as if this were physically possible) older woman, I resonate with the grief aspect while, simultaneously, I am experiencing radical acceptance of myself as the woman I was born to be.
Wow! Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming to my channel. Have you shared your story anywhere I could read or watch?
@@sometherapist Unfortunately, not yet. I'm just writing my memoir right now. 🙂
Let me know when you’re ready to go public!
Bernard Lane’s latest substack post, written by psychologist Dianna Kenney goes into everything that’s wrong - and diagnostically unscientific - about the current approach to ‘treatment’.
Personally, I’m on board with Valerie’s observations about the medical system, and concur about self-healing, but the way this will be changed is likely by doctors and scientists coming forward and saying ‘our current model makes no sense’.
❤🇬🇧
autogynephil