105. Young Men Crying for Help: Dr. Joseph Burgo on Shame, Narcissism, Autism & Autogynephilia
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- Опубликовано: 9 июл 2024
- Today I welcome the esteemed Dr. Joseph Burgo to discuss the psychological crisis of males who find refuge in a trans identity. Along the way, we explore myriad contributing factors, from shame, narcissism, and autogynephilia; to rising rates of autism and unlimited access to increasingly obscene internet pornography; as well as gender roles, norms, expectations, and recent cultural shifts.
As we unravel the narratives of ex-military men and individuals in positions of power who transition, we uncover the complexities of idealization and devaluation in trans identification and the numerous parallels with personality disorder traits. How do societal norms and social justice narratives fuel the shallow idealization of the opposite gender?
We also touch on the challenges detransitioners face in therapy and the obstacles therapists encounter in providing effective care for individuals with gender ideation. How can therapists navigate the tense climate surrounding gender identity exploration? And what role should exploration of fantasies and projections play in understanding the complexities of gender distress?
Joseph Burgo, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist and graduate psychoanalyst who has been practicing for more than 40 years. As a writer, he’s the author of several works of non-fiction bringing his insights and experience as a therapist to a popular audience, and his articles and commentary on the topics of shame and narcissism have appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, and most of the large news outlets online. In his private practice, he currently focuses on gender distress, and works with trans-identified adolescent boys, male detransitioners, and men who struggle with autogynephilia. He can be reached at: joeburgo@gmail.com or find him on X @jburgo55
www.afterpsychotherapy.com/
www.amazon.com/Why-Do-That-Ps...
www.amazon.com/Narcissist-You...
www.amazon.com/Shame-Free-You...
Watch Dr. Burgo in The Lost Boys: Searching for Manhood, made by another guest of this show, Jennifer Lahl. • The Lost Boys: Searchi...
Books mentioned in this episode:
The Narcissist You Know by Dr. Joseph Burgo: amzn.to/3xvIxcc
Why Do I Do That?: Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives by Dr. Joseph Burgo: amzn.to/3vLsxSP
All books mentioned on this podcast can be found at sometherapist.com/bookshop or by following the Amazon affiliate links. Thank you for purchases that support the show.
{{chapters}}00:00 Start
[00:02:49] Autism diagnosis evolution.
[00:06:36] Psychology in developmental framework.
[00:08:02] Rise in autism due to screens.
[00:11:55] Shame and narcissism in youth.
[00:18:45] Shame defiance.
[00:21:03] Adolescence and privacy for development.
[00:25:37] Exploring views on pornography.
[00:29:36] Effects of intense porn consumption.
[00:32:55] Autogynephilia as narcissism and desire.
[00:37:40] Ex-military men and transgender identity.
[00:40:58] Grass is greener syndrome.
[00:46:03] Idealization and devaluation in identity.
[00:49:50] The impact of societal beliefs.
[00:52:17] Avoiding adult responsibilities.
[00:56:20] Emancipating children's decision-making.
[01:01:27] Detransitioning experiences.
[01:02:43] Detransitioning experiences and insights.
[01:08:15] Importance of finding healing relationships.
[01:10:15] Lack of ICD procedure codes.
[01:13:42] Self-care reminder.
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SHOW NOTES & transcript with help from SwellAI: www.swellai.com/?via=somether...
MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission. www.joeypecoraro.com/
These professionals are brave ! Thank you both.
Wow! What an amazing conversation! I wasn’t familiar with him, but some things he said were really eye opening! Great interview Stephanie!
I think Dr. Burgo is pretty spot on about many aspects of shame in these situations, but
if he thinks sissy hypno porn and other types of porn don’t play into autogynaphillia, he needs to go hang out on the porn addiction subreddits. Same thing for escalation in types of porn from “vanilla” to more deviant.
I said this on a different interview but I’ll repeat it here:
The person who pursues the interest of their paraphilia usually sees it as part of their sexuality-namely that it is not only done for sexual arousal, but also done for comfort. ABDLs, furries, AGPs-there is a comfort component, it is not arousing 24/7. I think this how Phil Illy arrived at his conclusion that AGP is a sexuality, because it can feel that way to the person who engages in it. However, I would still call it a paraphilia because it is atypical sexual behavior and has nothing to do with sexual orientation (not gay, straight, or bisexual).
BUT I see benefit in calling it a sexual orientation. You will be hard-pressed to get an AGP to admit he has a fetish. It’s much easier to call himself a trans woman than face the shame of a fetish. However, he might be more willing to accept he has an unusual sexual orientation. And if he’s willing to admit that and therefore not feel the need to call himself a woman, I’d be willing to compromise on calling it a sexual orientation.
Hell no. This is all part of the transhumanist agenda to establish new kinds of human in law and break down our natural and established boundaries. You are describing capitulation. Illy and his ilk have influenced our laws enough, all because we originally gave an inch.
Learn some political consciousness. If you care, women's rights are GONE. Men with paraphilias have more protection than we do. We have to stop elevating them to protected-class status. It's already gone too far and now these laws and policies must be undone.
Autism is also increasing in prevalence because its less stigmatized to be autistic so more people are comfortable identifying that way
I appreciate his perspective, some of them are way off. It takes two seconds to go down a very sick rabbit hole with online porn. Kids are dramatically affected by aggressive sexual images they see just once. He's gotta get out there more
AGP = sensitive emotional boy + repeated emasculation trauma AND parental neglect/emotionally distant
I'm 41 and corn never ever played a part in my AGP
You bring up a good point re:emasculation trauma. Males who do not comply with western society's notions of masculinity (which often involves predatory behavior, which is why a lot of men/boys reject it) are often targets of abuse by "real" men or their parents/family. Hardly anyone talks about this.
Get em Stephanie! Educate!!!❤️
Good conversation. I find this topic so intriguing. I'm sorry I can't contribute. It's difficult articulating this multifaceted and complex phenomenon.
I definitely find myself 'subscribing' to your thoughts. Hopefully these words will prove useful for some individuals. Thank you for sharing. 🐿
So ridiculous to think sissy hypno has no effect if not already there is absurd
We are all a part of everything- and what we focus on grows
We’ve forgotten the power of discernment and choices including the power of no, not just yes
Doesn't seem ridiculous. There's a thousand and one niche types of porn to serve particular tastes. Their existence only affects the individuals who have a taste for it and actually watch it. Personally, I've never watched any porn, so "sissy hypno" has no effect on me.
Brene Brown is a big fan of Paulo Freire. She mentioned him in Daring Greatly around page 198. You should check out her new program for schools. Dare to Learn. It's full of SJW revolution stuff. Do the WORK. ...lol
It's Death Drive directed inwards.
This man is absurd
This comment is absurd.
Facts
Instead of just tossing a baseless insult, explain why you disagree with Dr. Burgo. Otherwise, it’s just your flippantly phrased comment that’s absurd.