My Time in the Psych Ward & My War with SI, Depression, PTSD, & the BLM
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- September was #suicideawareness month so I thought I'd make this video about my experiences with PTSD, SI (suicidal ideation), and depression in hopes to help somebody out there who might be struggling. RUclips's algorithm may not find the topics in this video to be very family friendly, so please share it directly if you feel like it could help somebody. This video isn't monetized, it's not an attention grab, I wouldn't put it out there if I didn't think it couldn't help somebody find their way out of a very dark place... somewhere nobody ever deserves to suffer.
First, I am TERRIFIED to upload this video. Even now I'm not sure if I'll make it public. My business depends on people coming to my rallies, but will people dare come if they know that I struggle with some very serious mental illnesses? I hope to convey that 90% of the time I am happy, kind, loving, and completely "with it". But yes, 10% of the time I am in a dark place. Most rallies, even if I am in a dark place, riding motorcycles and meeting new friends is enough to bring me out of it. And, like I explain in the video... who better to guide an amazing experience than somebody who has literally stared death and darkness in the face? Who better than somebody who literally wants to squeeze every ounce of wonderful experience out of every precious minute in the light?
Over the years it has been a war, not just a battle, but it's one that I feel that I'm gaining ground on. The SNRI called Pristiq has helped, but I have found the most helpful thing for my depression and complex PTSD has been a joint combination of EMDR therapy, talk therapy, and Spravato (esketamine) treatments.
I urge you, if you are struggling with PTSD or depression, to fight back. If you had cancer, heart disease, or were in a severe accident, you'd fight for your life! There's no reason to back down for mental illness, either! There was a time in my life that I thought it was hopeless to look for an answer in medications or therapy. Nothing seemed to ease the pain, and too many times has it looked like there was only one way out. I'm so grateful for my wife for never giving up, and who KEPT TRYING no matter how much I wanted to give up. Over time, we've been blessed to have found caring therapists, attentive psychiatrists, and capable doctors who have helped save my life with medications, practices, and tools to heal and hope again.
The war isn't over, and I'm not sure if it ever will be. But I do know that even though I have to fight and fight and fight my way out of those dark places, that there IS light at the end of that tunnel, and once you break out of the darkness, life is AMAZING and absolutely worth living. It's easy to feel like nobody cares. I know that for some people, in some situations, that might actually be true. People can be cruel and hurtful, but that doesn't mean it's the end. FIND good people. FIND God. FIND a network of help and NEVER give up. People may hurt you, they may not seem to care, but guess what? YOU can be the light. YOU can make a difference in the world. YOU can be the one who pulls others out of the darkness, even if you had to claw your own way out! Because YOU know how that feels! The darkness in that tunnel may seem inescapable, but when you reach out and help another, YOU ARE THEIR LIGHT!
#everide #dualsport
This took a ton of courage. Thanks for helping to reduce mental health stigma. I’m very impressed.
Tyler, I felt every bit of this video. I am 52 years old, and got into riding almost 3 years ago as I was going through something myself. I remember your video and it made an impression on me. You are extremely brave, and I commend you for sharing. You are a lighthouse, and bringing this light to the darkness of the world is what we all need. Never give up on living. Never surrender that goodness in your soul that needs to heal both yourself, and the world around you. I’d ride with a dude like you any day of the week. God bless you bro.
Dude! I know this couldn’t have been an easy video. You are not alone. Im leaving a 20 year career in law enforcement. I have dealt with thousands of people who suffer from mental illness. Including fellow officers. While I have never had suicidal thoughts, I do have occasional depression, and I know that I am broken from the experiences ive had during my career. Ketamine treatment works wonders for many. I am seeking my own treatment after this. Thank you for sharing your journey. You are not alone. God speed, your friends and family will always need you to brighten their lives.
Thank you for the honest and important message.
So thankful you’re with us.
Thank you for hanging in there!
As someone who has struggled, I appreciate you chatting about it!
Tyler. It takes much more strength to show this depth of pain than it does to hide it. Thanks for sharing.
If you make it through depression then you are stronger than most. That's who I want to be on a ride with. I had a rough few years a while back and thankfully I made it to the other side. Thanks for talking about this subject.
I came for the dual sport content but stayed for the honesty. Those years fly by 😅
I think you make more of a difference in the world than you realize. I’ve never been on a rally, but just through your RUclips videos I’ve felt a connection and enjoy the content you’ve shared through this medium, especially the moto vlogs. Your light shines even through your videos.
Love you brother. Keep on going man. We need more folks like you in this world, we absolutely can't afford to lose you. Anyone who is concerned by Tyler's mental health troubles, he and his family are some of the best people in this world, and ty is an absolute blast to ride with. All high fives, laughter, gassing up and great times! Can't wait to see you again. Let me know if I can help at all.
I lost someone this past year that was part of my life for 25 years. I'm glad you are getting help. Your content is far more important and meaningful to us all than you can imagine! Thank you for sharing with us 👊
Well done for choosing life. I lost my wife to depression and nearly ended myself as well. More people need to hear these stories. Proud of you.
The road goes ever on. Thank you for sharing this brother. You're not alone, we are not alone. Keep fighting my man you're a great role model.
Tyler, it's because of you I came forward about my own struggles and suicide attempt last year. You're an absolute inspiration to me!
It's not something we ever "cure" but learn to mange. Because of you I've not only been inspired to share my story publicly on my socials and RUclips channel, but I now host my own event here on Vancouver Island to support Men's Mental Health, all in an effort to get people talking and to let others know that they are not alone! - The Get Lost Find Yourself Adventure and Dualsport Motocamping event of 2023 was huge success! I'm already eagerly organizing 2024!
Thank you Tyler!
Dude, I love you SO much for doing this, you have no idea.Thank you!! We all struggle to varying degrees, minor or major, but can all relate. Just know that you’re not alone and many of us are in the same boat. Let’s sail and conquer it together.
Much love my brother. Been a follower and supporter for a looong time. Tyler is the most honest, generous and genuine guy out there. The world could use a lot more role models like Ty. You are “doing good” and making a difference. Stay strong pal. We got your back.
Thank you. I feel that I'm not alone with my struggles when someone as brave as you opens up. You may not help everyone but you're helping me. I love you my internet dualsport brother.
Tyler, that was the most courageous, open and honest video I’ve ever seen. God bless you brother for not giving up and never giving in.
“If you know the enemy and you know yourself, you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.” I don’t know how many battles you’ve been through, but you definitely know yourself. You are Not alone and I would ride with you any time anywhere. Stay strong brother.
Tyler I wrote and deleted this comment dozens of times because I didn’t know how to say what I wanted to.
You are not alone in this fight and the fact that you had the strength to put out this video that shows you at a level of raw and real those most people can’t understand shows the real person you are.
You are powerful beyond all measure, you are worth it, and you are not alone. Keep fighting my friend and hopefully one day we cross paths on the trails.
The last time you spoke candidly about mental health a couple years ago, you played a pretty significant role in saving me. It pushed me to go get medical help. I owe you a lot for that.
The world needs more people like you Tyler. If you question if you are making a difference, question no more. Truly inspirational.❤
That's tough Tyler, a lot of us struggle with these things and I am glad you're talking about it and that you're still with us. We need to normalize having these conversations so that many of us don't feel like we have to struggle completely alone.
I appreciate you.
Thanks so much for sharing this my man! There are loads of people that needed to hear this, including me. You are *NOT* alone. This video reminded me of why I still keep coming back to this channel. Thank you so much again.
This is an incredibly powerful video. So much respect for sharing this. I'm glad you're here Tyler.
It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there like this, I’m glad you found some resources that have helped you. Such a stigma around mental health but it’s something that effects so many people. Good job, keep it up.
Tyler, your courage to open up is amazing! Your willingness to share is undoubtedly helping others. Thank you
Hang in there buddy, greetings from South Africa
This is one of the most honest and sincere videos ever. I really admire you man, I look to you as a role model. Thank you for all your hard work. I will see you for a rally one day
This touched me to the point of tears. You ARE making a difference. From the thousands of people who look forward to your videos for the info and opinions you share of bikes and equipment, to the people who can relate to your struggles. And if even ONE person decides to continue that struggle, isn't it worth making ALL these videos?
Thanks for sharing Tyler. I'm sure it wasn't easy. Know that we all appreciate your honesty. Don't feel judged. It takes a small person to judge someone else's struggles without walking their path, man. And the only one who is on your path specifically- is YOU.
Thank you for sharing. Too often on RUclips we see people that are not putting forth how it really is. It is refreshing to find a RUclipsr that is human like the rest of us :) Much love!
Mushrooms are a excellent resource for PTSD please look into it this. Your treatments are very similar. Psilocybin is natural and effects are LASTING months and even years. lean into god you got this! YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE! All the best to you my friend.
It's just a new phase.
Another exam.
we love you. ❤
You are making a difference. Thank-you so much for sharing. This was very special.
Thank you for sharing. I hope you know how much we all appreciate you and how many lives you've changed. I don't believe I would have seen a sliver of what I've seen if not from inspiration from you and your videos. Hope to send positive vibes for you Tyler!
Tyler, thank you so much for sharing a part of you. I can confidently say you will be helping many people that have similar struggles, some lifelong. Five of our 8 children struggle with clinical depression. Our youngest took his life at age 15. I can't say I know what you deal with, but I do know that every day you are here is a victory!! You, and others that deal with Depression, SI, PTSD, and other mental struggles are warriors who have to fight strongly every single day. Most people do not have to do anything close to that in their daily lives. Give yourself a TON of credit and try to remember constantly that you are worth everything. Bless all those who struggle with mental illness. Love your channel. eveHope with eveRide!!
Are you familiar with FTA Adventures RUclipsr? He’s an Adventure Rider (from Arizona) who occasionally deals with depression. You two might help each other.
Your doing well pal . Keep going . Think of all the good your doing . Thank you .
Your honesty about your struggles shows the rest of us who also struggle that we're not alone and that we can not only get help, but we are deserving of it as well. I know that I speak not only for myself but for many other people in this world when I say that I am incredibly glad that you paused and took that moment to go see your therapist instead of following through with your plan. The world is such a better place with you in it, making your "dumb" videos. Much love Tyler.
I absolutely agree
Ride on Brother! Enjoy life!
Seek Jesus daily only light can drive out darkness. Be filled with God's word and there will be no room for darkness. Relationship over religion.
THANK YOU Tyler. You will never know how many people you have helped. It is only through the bravery of people like yourself that will take some of the pain and suffering out of mental conditions. GOD bless you and your Family. We will keep you in our prayers.
thanks for posting this. this is the most informative video Ive ever seen on RUclips, ever. you have courage, thanks for sharing. you make a difference to many, here with your riding family and your real family. and yeah, I'll ride with you in a dez anytime.
Hey man, we get that it's hard to put it out there, but you never know when your message arrives just in time for someone else. And, anybody that thinks you're "weak" and unsubs, well you don't need that sub. Thank you for sharing this.
I've always watched your videos as much for the man as for the riding info and scenery. This video just confirms I was right. Riding is a challenge but its nothing compared to being a good person, especially when you are struggling with illness. You make good videos, your riding keeps getting better, but most important you are a good man who is becoming a better man one day at a time, which is more than a lot of people can say. This video will likely come with costs, but the costs will be worth it because you helped others. I look forward to riding with you at one of your rally's soon.
Years ago I was in a bad spot, I came across a channel of a dude riding through beautiful country talking about how grateful he was to have the ability to ride like that despite his demons. He also talked at length about his trials with mental health. Really helped me, and spurred my love for dual sport motos. Thank you for what you do.
You are doing more than millions of others by sharing this video and your experience. It's okay to not be so critical of yourself, you're a bigger man than me for sharing this with us and we all support you and what you bring to the table.
We all struggle, having PTSD myself your story resonates with me. I don't have the answers, but understand that this is a continuous journey. Good luck with your journey
Thank you, Brother. Your video just helped me make it one more day.
100% if there is a God there is no reason why he should care about medical use of drugs.
Wow my friend, this video is huge and will do wonders for helping others. I am a mental Health Registered Nurse who not only works with mentally ill patients but also have my own battle. I work with Veterans with PTSD and suicide is a real thing. It rears it’s ugly head at anytime and knows no limits. The biggest thing we can do is reach out to those who can help us when we are in need and reach out to those that need help. Thank you for stepping up and sharing your story🙏🏻
I always appreciate how strong you are to be able to talk about mental health and your battle in particular. I’ve been a Patreon/Producer for years and you’ll always have my support. I pray for you everyday too, and hopefully those prayers help as well. Keep battling Tyler, the world needs more men like you who keep moving forward, asking for help when it’s needed and sharing with others that it’s ok to ask for help too!
There were a million reasons that could have stopped you from sharing this video, but I am glad you ignored them.
Not only did you share something incredibly personal and private, but I have to compliment you on your delivery of your message. It is so easy for videos “like this” to either ramble repetitively or to glaze over/rush through the sensitive details because the fear of sharing is stronger than your craft, but I did not feel that way for any of this 36 minute journey. I was holding onto every word - you even had me holding back tears multiple times.
Whatever your inspiration was to post this, I thank you for sharing, and thank you for inspiring so many middle aged dudes/dudettes to pursue a passion that brings pure childish joy into their lives.
Bro, no shame in asking help when help is needed. If you get stuck in mud with a bike - you ask mates to help to bring it out!
If you ever feel same bad feelings - think of how many lives you touch everyday. You don't know me, I'm from a small country in Europe - Lithuania. I started riding motorcycle just 2 years back (I'm 36 yo). I'm progressing, but Im still pretty bad as a rider. We don't have mountains or any similar terrain that you ride in. My friend recommended me your channel and I watched most of the episodes. Your videos really inspire me. I dont know if I'll be able to ever ride in such beautiful terrain that you do. I think you are very lucky to experience this! We will probably never meet in person, but you have inspired many people, including me!
Depression is difficult, but you are a fighter after all! Never give up, life is precious!
Come visit!
Hey thanks for putting this out there. I'm glad I watched past the point early on where my hatred for the government almost made me stop watching.
Well sir, it’s strange I ran on to this video today.
It’s October the 3rd.
Next week on the 11th it will be 15 years that I lost my step son in Iraq.
My wife has had her ups and downs, but she’s a tough cookie and has a great family to support her.
I’ve been everything from the shoulder to cry in to the punching bag when she’s really pissed at the world.
I researched the grief process she has gone thru a lot and have helped her thru the tough times and roller coaster of emotions
The pain never goes away, but we are making it thru the tough times a lot better now.
You’d think after 15 years, I would know when those tough times are going to hit.
But I still get blindsided by them to this day.
However, my big concern and the reason writing this comment is that one of the soldiers that was with Marcus when he got hit by the IED, has had a really rough time.
For some reason, this young man has reached out to me off and on throughout the years.
He says I’m a calming source of reason for him.
I listen to him and just let him ramble on about what he is experiencing at that moment or what he’s been going thru.
Now understand, I’m the poster character of a mid to late 50 year old GenX man.
You know the:
Pull yourself up by the boot straps…
Rub some mud on that cut and breath thru the pain…
That kind of old fart.
So like I said, I listen to this young man and just let him get it all out.
Then when he’s over the hump, I let him know that the next step is up to him.
But that choosing a permanent solution for a temporary problem is not the answer.
He claims the VA assistance groups are not helpful for him.
He says that the therapist haven’t walked in his shoes and seen what he’s seen.
I’m now starting to research what I can do to help him.
He’s a good young man that definitely has some demons that often become more than he can handle.
I know in my heart, he’d never hurt anyone else, but I worry about him.
I’m going to pray about your video tonight.
Maybe he could get some benefit out of watching this and see if maybe this treatment might be helpful for him.
Thanks for sharing this.
I know it had to be tough as hell, and you’re probably thinking you should take it down.
DON’T!!!
If it helps one person, like it has helped me to possibly be able to help this young man…. It’s worth it all.
You’re on my prayer list young man with a lot of other people.
But your situation is and eye opener for me.
I’ll admit I don’t understand the thoughts of suicide.
It’s just never something I’d consider.
Now beating the hell out of someone that pisses me off.
Yea I can see that.
Like I tell a lot of people now.
Don’t mess with an old fart.
Life in jail for us ain’t that long at this point.
But since I’ve dealt with this young man’s survivors guilt for years now, I see that strong bad ass men, sure fight some evil demons.
Tyler you are very much needed my friend . The vision from God was true keep up the great work you do your videos are great ! Much love my friend!!!
Tyler, You’re doing good. I’m wishing you wellness and well-being. :-)
Dude , thanks for sharing this . We all have traumas that we’re dealing with. Remember , from over 100k followers that you have , if you only inspire one person, that’s huge. It’s really inspiring what you’re doing . ❤❤❤
Thanks for sharing - everyone is struggling with something.
Thank you! You give me hope and comfort that I am on the right track too. I feel all those things too. You make a difference to me!
Keep it up. And I will too.
Thanks for sharing. I needed to hear this. Im going thru a rough time and its good know im not alone. Keep up the fight.
Thank you for sharing that. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.
You are a brave man!
Thank you for helping the community and for destigmatizing health problems!
All the best to you and your family!
Thank you sir! I will check into it, for my self! You just made a big difference for me today, I would say you just answer a question I had. Thanks again.
Tyler, Making this video had to be both hard and therapeutic. Just know you are not alone, putting this out there and leaving yourself vulnerable can only be helpful in the long haul. God has a plan for you. Much love and prayers to you and your family.
I respect you even more now! That took courage. We all deal with this in one way or another. My brother took his own life and he dealt with a lot of the same things you do, so I'm happy you are getting help. Keep up the good work!
Thank you Tyler. This really hit home for me. I’m in tears watching this. I’m a 51 year old husband and father of 3. Twins with my current wife that are 4 and a 17 year old with an ex. I broke a sobriety run that lasted almost 2years about a month ago or so. Went looking for a gun to end my life with and couldn’t get one so I figured just go drink some beer and calm down. I’ve also heard the voice of god through ayahuasca ceremonies i’ve done in the past. We have a ton in common and I just want to thank you for this video as it really helps to know i’m not alone. You’re not alone either brother. You ARE doing good. Really good. I don’t know you personally, but after this video, i feel like i’ve known you my whole life. Glad you’re okay bro. Keep fighting the good fight. Really hope to meet you some day.
Nice post. Glad you're still with us. Interesting that not finding a gun handy may have saved your life. We could learn a few lessons here.
Not gonna be smart or funny. I am glad you're here. I am glad you decided to make and release this video. I am glad you described your treatment experience. Thanks for sticking with it. And you ARE doing good. Never met you, but you ARE making a difference. I can testify to that. So thank you for that too.
Listen man, i stumbled across your videos in 2018/2019 during on of the happiest times in my life. Your content got me to buy my first dual sport. I bought a drz400. 2 years later, i sold it and moved to oregon. After 3 years and a ton of life, work, having a kid, my wife cheating on me.... I am currently the least happy ive ever been. A few months back i stumbled across you content again and it motavated me to buy my second dual sport. I now have a wr250r.
The long of the short is besides my daughter that dual sport is the most amazing thing in my life.
You sharing your story helps me realize that i am the only one dealing with this.
Keep your head up brother.
Thanks for making this. I’m fighting this battle now.
Thank you for sharing Tyler, please remember we are here for you as much as you're there for us....... your Chanel has helped since back in the klr days.... you make a difference.......in so many ways and on so many levels.
Thank you for posting this Tyler.
Buddy your videos are not dumb, keep fighting you’re overcoming all of this, stay strong!
Thank you for sharing this sir. Keep on going, you are inspiration for everyone undergoing the same situation. Sendingvlove from the Philippines.
exceptionally brave of you to share your testimony. God bless you.
Thanks for sharing, brother!
this was very helpful to listen to. two things I love, dirt biking, introspection, and just reflecting on life. thanks for the vulnerability bro. much love. good times are always ahead. ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Thanks for having the courage to speak out. This will help people.
A bike that gets you back to your roots doing motovlogs, must be pretty special.
Thank you for sharing. I’ve been through something similar as many people have.
Thank you. ❤
Have loved this channel since discovering it a few years ago. You’ve done a lot of good in the world. I applaud you for making this video!
I doubt you will have time to read all the comments but they speak volumes to your positive influence in this world. God does work in mysterious ways. I am sure He is using you in many ways for good.
Well done for talking about this. I find Andy's Man Club here in the UK to be a literal life saver.
The fact you are able to openly talk about your struggles is a blessing. I know your wife and children don’t want a replacement. I lost my only older brother 5/7/19 and miss him every day. Always keep fighting, life is better with you in it. Anyone considering suicide, please, please ask for and seek professional help. Thank you Tyler for putting out this type of content both on two wheels AND particularly men’s mental health struggles.
Thank you so much for sharing your struggles and triumphs. I appreciate you.
Beautifully said!
Much love Tyler. Keep on keeping on! Yes! You ARE making a difference.
STAY STRONG Tyler!
Honest question for anyone that can answer - What is "SI"? I've never heard that term before
Dirt bike riding is therapeutic. A way to detach. Cathartic beyond belief. Thanks for sharing.
Keep your head up. Always choose to fight... Dont let the government try and scare you. You can always go see your State Representative... Thats why your Senator and Representative are there. To interdict when govt officials overreach
wow Tyler thanks for making this video i know it was hard but it needed to be said. my wife suffers from depression and i hope this video makes her feel not alone .she always says I don't understand ....and i don't but you do thanks
God is with you always, the only problem is we forget that, myself included.... Faith of a mustard seed my friend...faith of a mustard seed.
One day we will ride together... We will share dirt.... laughter.... Truth .... Knobby tracks are running next to yours and sometimes just footsteps... 🙏👍😎
Tyler ur a brave guy to share all this, ya probably have helped others struggling and stopped a few more from suicide. Don't know you except thru YT, but glad ur still here, keep on ever riding... bikes and life!
I watch your channel because the content is amazing and most of all, honest. The sweet spirit that you convey through your videos is what makes your channel stand out so keep crushing it brother, I hope to come out and ride with you one day soon. Thank you for sharing.
Tyler - I can't begin to tell you how much GUTS it took to make this video!! Your openness honesty and candor about your mental health challenges are admirable. I am a retired US Marine Corps Officer. I spent 27 years in Marine Force Reconnaissance and have (7) combat tours down-range , (4) in Iraq alone. I've dealt with PTSD and Combat Trauma issues my whole career but only seriously dealing with it over the last 2 years. Motorcycling, off-road in particular has really made a difference in my life - and I own (4) bikes. You keep doing what you're doing young man... because you're truly touching the lives of others! Semper Fi
Don’t be ashamed. Never be ashamed. And literally almost all drugs can be used on animals and people. That doesn’t mean anything at all. Love your courage to speak up. Thank you. ❤ ✌️
Wow, what a tough video to make. Always remember that you having the courage to put this video out there.....may have saved someone's life. Possibly multiple lives ❤
May God bless you 🤝
Keep faith.
Tyler, you're pretty awesome for sharing your heart. I would encourage you by saying, Jesus. Christ alone. Don't look inward, look to Him. Don't look to religion, look to Christ. Come to Him through His Word, the Bible. Nothing else. He's everything.
As always, Much love eveRide! ❤ I miss you bruv. Looking forward to riding again! Hopefully soon!
G'day Tyler, You killed it mate! Well done, your honesty and bravery is second to none, thankyou for not checking out mate, you have inspired many and I was so inspired by your movies I started youtubing myself, so good for my mental health and I owe alot of my drive to you mate, your a true hero, I don't care if you don't reply, I do hope you read this though because it's from the heart, well done champion 👌😊