What can make a narcissist start to hate you? | The Narcissists' Code Ep 755
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- Опубликовано: 16 июл 2024
- What makes a narcissist hate you? What can make them be jealous of you and start to try and break you down?
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Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
Website - www.mentalhealness.net
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Thank you so much
I swear we are living in an epidemic of Narcissism....They are EVERYWHERE....
Yesssss🤦🏽♀️
I just had 2 in a row wtf second one didn't last long
@@narelleme7990, I had 3 in a row....Last one was around only 6 months....They are everywhere....it's like 8/10...
Yes empress... I'm telling you I see them everywhere ... It's mindblowing
It has always existed. We just weren't aware of what it was because a lot of individuals were taught to accept toxicity.
Telling them the truth brings on extreme narc rage. How dare we choose not to be gaslit & actually live in reality & speak the truth to their lies 🤷🏾♀️
Facts
Some of the Narcs cannot deal with REAL REALITY. When the victim finally awaken? and realize its time to shake out of the Narc's life? This becomes so detrimental and devastating to the Narc that the Narc can't deal with it.
Facts!
Yes. If you dare to tell the truth to his face you live dangerousely. You become his enemy, and you will sooner or later regret you ever spoke to him at all. Those who stay friends with him forever are those who 1 - keep a good distance and 2 - choose their words carefully and never speak to him or about him without a proper respect and adoration. If you tell him the truth you better run for your life and hope he is not coming after you. Because he will await his moment a strike his blow.
omg never do it alone. I just act dumb and leave quitley so they feel like am an idiot and makes them feel better not bitter because they are dangerous unpredictable like a wild animal. just keep safe at ALL COSTS
1. Speak the truth and they will hate you like no other.
‼️‼️
The narcissist hates me because I SEE THEM.
When you confront them with the truth. They hate that.
Whew
Just Because I am Me, same God created him created Me…. Truly realized my spouse doesn’t like me to be True to myself ☺️I asked him, so why did he marry me? To get to America cause so as he got in America in One month and receive that green card; the Love bombing affections, concerns, attention and sexual intimacy STOP. I was blind for two years ( him in Gambia Africa) now I see🧐and he doesn’t like me exposing him, not at All and I am Telling it All USCIS/ICE Fraud Marriage. Now I know he hate me☺️
The covert one will stonwall you if you want to discuss the truth. They dig smileys, emojis, and cheap laughter. Dismissing others is where there game is at. Under the influence of alcohol they get more nasty. Even after you were married 25 years to a wonderful person, when the mask is off, it is off. It is very very hard to get over it.
It's one of our defense systems against insanity.
Omg, CATASTROPHIC, for the narc; all of their mental pathways, Neurons, and the roadway in the brain just EXPLODES. Then Their fangs come out, before that happens??? I hope the person is outta there before the Narc Transforms😯
That "Hate" can turn to murder! That "Hate" is real! 😮😮😮
The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy!😮😮😮
😞
They murder the soul 💔
Almost got killed and kids too...these people are killers.
True ..
@@rmcgarra7 Don't ever go back!! Congratulations on leaving 👏 🙌 ✨️ 👌!
1. Not obeying their orders, in a timely manner. 2. Becoming aware of their narcissism and confronting them about it. 3. Refusing to allow them to project their sins onto you. 4. Refusing to give them the resources you formerly gave them. 5. Not stepping away from family, friends, & acquaintances when they tell you to. 6. Objecting to being 100% alone at all times, when they're out screwing everybody. 7.Not abandoning your hobbies and interests when told to. 8. Refusing to agree that they're so, so, so much superior to you. And the list goes on.
Lee said, “build yourself up to where they are no longer qualified for you”🔥🔥🔥
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
This the one!!!
@@MentalHealness Lee, video request: What happens when a narcissist meets someone who is just as dishonest/corrupt as them? Maybe not necessarily toxic or problematic, but just a bit shallow and superficial? Will that relationship last? Is there a scenario where a narcissist is actually content with someone?
That they feel like they've met someone who is similar to them? (The new partner of my abuser is not a bad person, but seems to be similarly shallow/dishonest when it comes to politics and integrity. I feel like they're a good match and I wonder if he's able to NOT abuse a counterpart if they're not decent enough to challenge them?)
@@MentalHealness They hate you for keeping it real.
@@Analysis_Paralysis yes, my covert D/A is content with me, because I can behave similar in certain aspects, I set boundaries which he has to respect, if he does not, and he does not all the time, likes to start devaluing me, then I do the same to him and he stops, I am an empath but adopted narcisisst traits to handle him, I want to stay with him , so does he wants to stay with me, I bonded him to me somehow, he traumabonded me, he even loves me, butcthinkhechates me sometimes, but can keep himself controlled, discusses everything, only sometimes is stubborn, but no silent treatment nor ghosting nor stone walling, he is good with me, , greeting from Germany ❤
If they’re suddenly treating you badly out of nowhere, it means they’re just cheating on you now, if that supply cuts them off, suddenly they’ll be nice again.
Or take it out on you...🤔
This society/government breeds them because it’s narcissistic infested so all 💩 runs down hill.
CORRECT, They always need a pole to lean on, and to use people. Never again will I allow that to happen to me. NOPE
When you question them while they are cheating they get nasty. If they aren't cheating they take a question totally normal
Omg so true
The covert narcs hate you on a different type of level. They love you in person and loathe you in private for years without you having a single clue. They literally wait for the perfect moment to destroy your soul and when they do it’s usually in a way that causes pain that you didn’t even think was possible smh
Yes, happy front that you don't know and when you find out they been backstabbing from the get go and laughing with women they have on the side... it's like sleeping with evil... who needs enemies when you have a husband like that...now exhusband.
Totally
Oh shit
You are on point 🙌
...I can be just as Evil, but they are worse, like the real Devil! They're just sad! Stay away from them!
You can actually catch them staring at you with that narcissistic look of hatred. My Sociopath ex husband would look at me and the kids like that. I would catch him and he would just say that he was thinking about something. He must have been thinking about what he could do to us!! It was actually frightening!!!
When you stop kissing their 🍑 because you finally realized and accept who and what they are and have always been.
😞
This disorder is EXTREMELY underreported and therefore EXTREMELY under-diagnosed.
Epidemic, indeed.
😮💨😮💨
Sounds like a narcissist is emotionally immature. Very moody and hateful. Probably displays childlike behavior. Emotionally, they are probably stunted at childhood. This can be very dangerous. Emotionally childish with adult capabilities. It can be very dangerous.
Narcissist is grown people with a child on the inside they are led by a evil spirit tell them no or have your own opinion they will drain you financially if you allow them sign Cynthia Smith a person must love them self I pray for these toxic people they can't love they don't know what is with them it is all about themselves
@@user-uv1vx9xi4d Yeah, I was hit financially myself. Very horrible experience. Maybe it was a good thing. I have been researching so much about mental health. About the person I am having trouble with. I now know what to look for and probably be able to help some others.
Yes, narcissists truly do need prayer. Consistent prayer. I believe that everyone will reap what they sow. I don't have to do harm to people that do me wrong. Those people will bring harm to themselves.
I have disbursed from him(!!narc*) I'm at peace now he ran me away couldn't deal with him anymore but I am Really at peace thank God❤
Yes, they are very childless he act like a little boy especially in hearing the truth couldn't take it😢😂😢
YES!!!!!!
1 biggest reason the Narcissist or a Toxic person begins to hate you???? you moved on with your life without them, and you are happy and healed. they are left in the shadows of their anger. They lose control of everything when you push them away for good.
💯💯💯💯💯😅😅😅
You speak the truth. 👍
I like that. I dont hate myself. Im learning to love myself.
Till they heal and acknowledge there horrible ways I wash my hands of them. It's gonna take a miracle. 🙏✌️
@@mandylf4158 You are on the right path. Make a great life for yourself and be happy. That’s the best revenge against narcissists.
My ex acts nice when he tries to Hoover. When it don’t work he goes back to hatred. I’m trying to get a divorced that he filed but won’t finish. This man emotionally and sexually abused me , I had no self esteem. Yet he calls me crazy 😩. I’m literally dealing with his passive aggression just trying to get divorced papers done . He won’t respond to text for hours. When he finally does I tell him a place to meet up. He says ok then don’t show up. He wants a reaction from me. I don’t give him one. I just want this to be done so I can lose his number.
I agree we are living in an epidemic of narcissism. Yes, they are nothing but inhumane destructive creatures!!!
Narcissism has been around since the beginning of time, as a matter of fact it was way more prevalent back then. Today we know about narcissistic personality disorder so it's not hidden anymore. We talk about narcissism today. Back in the day there was not even a word for an evil gaslighter that hates you and only wants your demise.
Thank you for producing these videos. It's an extremely rare narcissist who (1) owns that narcissism; (2) seeks help to overcome it; and (3) reaches out to others, to help educate them about narcissism. Hats off to you, bro.
Absolutely
I too approve this message 👌🏽 Thank you Sir God Bless you for doing the Necessary work this is sooo Needed and Necessary 🙏🏽
Walk away quietly. Move if you can. Block them on socials. Don't give them the chance to contact you again. Be thankful you got away. #scapegoat 👣✌️🆓🕊️
Yes so true
Absolutely 💯
100% true.
That's the truth! When God made a way for me to escape, I didn't hesitate. I was outta there like a robbery; I made a move like a smooth criminal! Thank God 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
💯💯💯
Safest thing to do is to keep away from these people. Basically, they hate you for existing. What I noticed is that the ex narc absolutely loved other toxic persons. Funny tho, he desires a good partner but he wont treat you with an ounce of respect. He just wants someone in his corner[relationship wise]that wont do him like he do them.
Interesting 😮
Woww seen that
My private duty client just wants a whipping post.
💯💯
THISSSSSSSSS
They can't stand someone being honest and upright and NOT getting on their little toddler mind level.
My brother is a narcissist. I set my boundaries and call him out on his bull. I keep our interactions superficial and short, and yes, some times completely cut him off when he begins his antics. The rest of my family initially took it as me holding grudges. They now get it. My sanity and mental health comes before his facade.
When you check them and try to hold them accountable all the time. When you point out there obvious lack of just being capable of being a good person
Narcissist never take accountability. I don’t expect them too. . Just leave them in the rear view mirror
This comment is so true. He tells everybody I insult him. 🤣 but what I actually do is call him out on his abuse and evil. They hate it when you call them out 😆😆😆😆
Rejecting a narcissist can cause them to hate you and loss of control. You said it before, and it doesn't take much for a narcissist to hate you.
Yes, loss of control
They must WIN. So that means we MUST lose, our lives if necessary
Anything. Literally anything can make them hate you. Just the fact that you have a moment of fun or freedom pisses them off and makes them want to come for you.
📖📚 I’m looking forward to it.
💯💯
the rose colored glasses don’t last forever.
OMG, I was told, he hated to hear me laugh. How much of an a$$hole do you have to be to hate for a person to laugh. You are definitely the truth. EVERYTHING you have said has been dead on.
Same situation, my ex is in my family/friends circle and she hates when I’m laughing and talking to other people while I act bored with her… I love to be bored around her… she doesn’t get my attention, she doesn’t deserve it
This explains a lot. I have a lot more education than my ex. This is why he always said I made him feel small. This was not my intention but now I know why he resented me so much anytime I tried to help or suggest something. He used to love my chatty personality, but in the end he said it ANNOYED him.
Jealousy, insecurity, and envy . I see that the narcissists in my life are suffering. And you’re right, they absolutely refuse to look inward and do the real work of exposing them to the WHY of their miserable lives. Looking forward to the book 📕 🔥
They run from shame and always will.
They are abused children. They are sure they are not passing it on. Why are they so sure?
They are abused children.
@@dcanes5720 I feel like a celebrity honestly
Yep envy is their fuel and poison.A narc can hate you even though they have more than you.
😮
They absolutely can, cause they don't see their blessings since secretly they always want what other people have and they lack. Then they think you are envious on their possessions and lifestyle 🙄 😂😂
Omg this is what he did with me… first he was so obsessed and in love with “everything about me” then all of a sudden it was “I just feel like I can’t trust you” because he said “attractive women like me are untrustworthy” when I did nothing wrong but show him love and sweetness. He’d also always be in competition a with me about money and our credit. He talked so badly about his ex having bad credit and being irresponsible then asked me my credit score and when I told him it was 820 he was mad it was higher than his it was so fkn weird
They are supremely jealous. My narc was jealous of the fact that I was normal with a decent job and a circle of friends. That was way too much for her. Deep down she had a gigantic inferiority complex.
When a narcissist "hates" you and has a grudge against you, people have no idea the lengths the narcissist will go to perfect their revenge. I'm talking about planning a scheme over YEARS. You'll have moved on from that toxic relationship and, out of nowhere, something terrible happens... that 'something ' could very well be the result of that narcissist from years ago. 🤔 Trust me. I'm speaking from experience.
Deeply true. Things are being revealed to me just recently that someone put a heinous charge against me in false report. I could not help them if I wanted to.
Now I learn what they have done is considered a federal breach of records.
I thank God Almighty for showing me the horrendous thing and it is going to cost this person dearly according to the authorities involved.
Yep, never be alone anywhere with them. Do not put yourself in any scenarios where they could falsely accuse you of something or become violent. These people will stop at nothing.
knowing that the person I love is in pain or “hates” me because I make them uncomfortable hurts me. 😢
But I left him anyway. In the end I loved me more than I loved him.
Sad ain’t it that we have to I guess to teach us strength so sad I’m sorry
You must always love yourself more never put up with shit again
Best way to be. Hopefully more get out and realise we come first. I got out after 3 months :)
It's not personal, they're disordered and how they end up feeling about anyone they get close with. They're full of anger and hate and have to let it out on someone, just don't be their someone!
@@corinahamilton96 I disagree that it’s not personal. He once told a third party that he couldn’t tell me the truth because if I knew it I would leave him.
People tried to make excuses for his lies. That he didn’t “know” that he was lying. That the lies were “his truth”. If he could say, I can’t tell her because…. He knew he was lying just like he knew he was hurting me.
Every time I’ve been mean to someone I’ve known what I was doing. I was frustrated or stressed or tired and it made me feel better to take it out on someone else. How I felt before being mean doesn’t excuse that I was mean. I chose to act that way.
Narcissists know what they are doing and they think that they are so perfect and infallible that they don’t need to change.
They’re nice when it serves them to be nice.
It hurts terribly to love someone like this. Don’t make excuses for them. They’ve had way too many and that’s why they still are the way they are.
I know they hate when you stand up for yourself and don't let them push you around then it becomes a right and if you don't yield it gets hot.
10:07 Bro wtf this is so wild. I’m being hoovered after breaking it off. Thank for the knowledge. Mental abuse need to be illegal. Some of these people need jail.
I swear when you leave one stay away. It’s too much egg shell walking . You can’t be happy or sad shoot sick . 🙏🏽 everyone
🙏
“…can’t be happy.. how DARE you have the ability to enjoy life when they can’t? can’t be sad… it shows them that their behavior ISNT ok and that they should be accountable.
OMG, that just confirmed what I found out about my marriage. I always felt that my COVERT NARCISIST husband ( now ex) was envious of me. I spent 20 years of our marriage asking him if he was envious of me, and the answer was always NO. When we were separated for 5 months. I asked again. He said, " I am not envious, BUT I ADMIRE YOU FOR BEING PRETTY, INTELIGENT, YOU MAKE FRIENDS EASLEY, AND I WISH I WAS LIKE YOU"... When he said that to me immediately asked " HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD ME I AM PRETTY, SMART OR THAT YOU LOVE ME IN 20 YEARS?".... He had no answer for that. But, the truth is he HATED ME, for the good qualities I have and he doesn't. Not acknowledging that to me made me feel invisible, unloved, undesired by him.
Whaoooo. And I always knew that my birthgiver and my surroundings people were jealous of me , I would try to dim me , so they won't be or I would bend , twist , try hard ,for acceptance. . Thank you source for pulling me out of it
@@NehaSharma-wq9yc just realized this too. dimming my light to not be on the bad side of my family.. i developed something called a “Jonah Complex” from it
my wife is the same way and she just up and left two states over after 26 years. took nothing and we have two kids.
Same with my ex. He said the same thing. Glad to be getting a divorce from him
Dang, how sad that a grown man would be envious of his wife.😂🤣
This happened to me with a male friend and up until now, I always wondered why he lashed out at me out the blue. He was always in this weird competition with me and I could feel it. We were cut from 2 different cloths and he was one of the most attractive men I have ever seen. We no longer talk, its been 2 years, but I do miss the perceived friendship.
Omg…this is exactly what happened to me with my guy friend! I mean, every single thing except the time frame we haven’t been talking. It’s been almost 2 months now but everything else was exactly the same. Wow…
And come to think of it, he may have liked you as well because mine used to “competitively flirt” with me (if that makes sense)
I can only say you are spot on with tHè jealousy. I never would have thought my husband could be so jealous of his own wife. Everything I would want to do to excel or progress he never supported nor encouraged . All my career moves he shut down. I finally left after 30 years. My last portion of the situationship was me living on the opposite side of the house for 5 years and was at my lowest emotionally and mentally depressed. I only had my church choir and they knew nothing as to what the real was in my life. I stayed involved in the choir for my own sanity. I trusted if I could just keep faith I would find a way to understand the behavior. All this while not knowing anything about npd. Low and behold I picked up an instrument while living on the other side of the house. Just because I was so bored and wanted to see if I could enhance the music ministry at church. Of course he tried to shoot it down as well. Talked about how stupid and old I was to start playing the guitar. I just put all the hurt into hours of practice and playing every day. It was therapeutic. Well God knows I never thought after 5 years of playing I would be gigging and have my own band🤣🎸🔥😎 . I’m still working my 9 to 5 but actually work weekends playing bass with my band . Xangie. I know he’s probably saying wtf and shocked I ended up making something out of something he criticized so much. Well music is and was therapeutic for me and took me away from all the pain I was in. Me leaving was the best thing that happened and since then I have seen you can progress and grow in all you do when you are in a positive environment. Thank you Lord for letting me know . I CAN do all things through Christ. Keep the faith yall. HE will make a way.🙏🏽😊. Ck out Xangie SB live music on RUclips. She’s a survivor and keeping it pushing . #bossup
My narcissist started hating me after I got a new job, and he was still unemployed.
And that’s a happy time 🤦🏽♀️
Interesting. While we were married, I was the one who started a business and got better and better jobs and furthered my career. He made excuses as to why he couldn’t find or keep a decent job. He went hunting and fishing almost every day while I worked. Maybe that’s a reason he acted like he hated me. But thanks to me, we didn’t go bankrupt! He had to buy expensive things we couldn’t afford and he couldn’t pay bills on time and couldn’t handle our finances. So why wouldn’t he be thankful? Crazy. I never could understand it.
Thee audacity
I could feel the resentment my husband has towards me but could never figure out why. He devalued me and discarded me after 12 years of marriage. Brutal discard. I'm still trying to gather my guts off the floor
It takes time - but once you are on the other side you will be just fine. It's a lot to process but listening to LH has truly helped me more than therapy did. He simply tells the truth and it is just crazy - they think totally different and are cruel to an extreme - scorch the earth to destroy you. Go no contact if you can - this will protect you. Again, Lee has made the difference in my healing process.
@@gigicooper1759 I haven't tried reaching out to him since May 25th. He left 3 weeks ago. It's all very devastating at the moment. Thanks🙏
Yes mine did the same thing, mines a creep used the family card cuz he knew I’m about family, but once I got pregnant and he wasn’t the center of my universe 24/7, he ran away to his sister who’s done nothing but stroke his ego to keep him for herself, they r two ass ppl who deserve each other, and they can have my toxic family as well they lack heart and insight
I was discarded after 20 years of marriage, it was brutal, I have never experience anything like it. It's been almost a year out of the fire, and now I am in a very good place by the grace of God. You are gonna be just fine. One day at a time God bless 🙏 ❤
@@ladyvirgo9514 Stay strong - the road ahead will be hard but worth every step you take - I promise 💔 your heart will have a huge scar but it will heal.
This really hit home. My sister hates me more and more every day. I've gone no-contact.
My son is a narcissist in the extreme. I never thought he would turn on me like he did. I don’t understand it but what you are saying makes a lot of sense.
Yes!!!
Narcissists willingly drink the poison their own minds try to feed them -- and then wonder why they feel so sick all the time.
*In truth:* the ONLY person that can "make" them do/feel anything...is themselves.
_(bc narcissists will injure themselves & than blame you for why they're in pain)_
Bro the fact that you acknowledge your shortcomings shows a lot! Thanks for the knowledge
This is so factual. It's been 10 yrs and my son's father still gets mad that I'm enjoying my life. He literally found out I was out last night and tried to start an argument with me and then when he saw he couldn't ruin my night when I called our son he started an argument with him so he would get off the phone with me. He's so jealous of me and my son's relationship.
I never saw my ex-(covert) narc GF happier than the morning I was laid off at my job .
“We’ll get to spend more time together! You’ll be fine!”
She hated my job . She resented the fact that I got paid a lot to work remotely doing a relatively easy data entry job while she did physical outdoor labor. They think everything is a reflection of them and what they think they deserve.
I have an even better job now. She’s still doing labor. I won.
📖 The trouble is, I am so homesick, heartbroken, and nostalgic. It's not about their ego, I don't give a toss for that. It's the broken dream. I guess it's a grief that never really goes away.
📖 i feel the excat same way!!
Surrender the broken dream to God and He will take with it your grief, and then He will replace it with a new dream that's even better than you imagined possible. ❤️🩹✝️ #TrueFreedom
Do self concept work. Meaning speak to yourself in love , i am wonderful i am beautiful i am intelligent i am lovely i am loved i am loved i am loved i am a wonderful person i am safe ... you get the picture. They try to make us feel weak they are the people of the lie backwards and demonic. You arent
It happened to all of us. They sell you a dream about nice life, family, wedding,
Kids../ whatever you want. After this, the nightmare of devaluation and you still stay there because some weird sense of loyalty and because maybe this dream that they sold you still can be true. But NO. Never was and never WILL.
There is no anything different that you could did for this to change.
Seems a deep form of envy
Def seems that way
@@MentalHealnessBECAUSE IT IS!!!!
No one can make you feel anything. When you say someone makes you feel a certain way that’s not for someone to fix in you. That’s your feelings and your entitlement. Nothing to do with the other person. It’s refreshing to hear that you are working on it bc when someone blames others for their feelings and never realizes it’s them that’s defective they’ll never change.
My Narc Mother when I was 30: “There is no excuse why you can’t finish your degree”
My Narc Mother when I was 34 who was mad I didn’t tell her I was finishing my degree until I sent out invitations because I didn’t want her to sabotage my progress:
“Why didn’t you tell me? You think you’re better than everyone now that you have your degree?”
The goal post is and will always be moved! Live for yourself.
Said the Daughter of an abusive narcissistic mother who is now no-contact via court order!
I swear I keep asking myself why this man hate me so much… I’ve never did anything to harm this man..
He's jealous and envious of you!!..
RUNNNN!! 🏃
@@southernbawselady7092 AND RUN FAST AND QUICKLY
My resent ex used to hate some one at his prior workplace. He hated him ACTIVELY. Said he did not deserve his position, that his father put him there. Really wanted him to loose his job. When I saw this guy it was a revelation. This guy was everything my ex PRETENDED to be but (no longer) was. Young, good looking, strong, efficient, hard working, honest, decent, a real gentlemen, never swearing, etc. There was no end to his good qualities. No wonder he hated his guts. Because every one else just couldn't help but admire and love this guy. And of course, all that was supposed to belong ONLY TO MY NARC, and no one else. 😂
I'll answer that question!!!! The demon that they are is what makes them hate you, because they hated you from the beginning. They didn't start, they did from the time they laid eyes on you. Let's call it what it is!!!!
It started in the 1960s. Listening through the point you said something about the book 🎉 ❤ and there wasn't a book emoji!!
I grew up with my mouth running past my brain and now years later I found you and I'm listening and realize just how narcissistic I was. I'm better but it's been a school of hard knocks.
Thank you for all you do!
I love it short and sweet.
I love the examples.
This awakening has just changed my book outline. I was stuck so thank you for helping me!
Great job and I am blessed to have come across your show.
Sounds like authenticity, resiliency, transparency, compassion, self regulation, awareness and understanding are the kind of things narcissistic people get triggered by. Great vid! Thanks 🙏🏼
#This^
No wonder I have been triggering my soon to be ex!
They get triggered by ANYTHING remotely positive. 💯
When you expose them in front of others. 😂😂😂😂
Sad is when they lie to you cheat. And steal from them
It's interesting that you mention flaws...my ex narc would constantly say in the beginning, "I want to see your flaws, I want to know what they are." That was strange to me as I feel that you get to see people for who they are over time as you get the chance to understand the fullness of a person. I now understand that he used those flaws to belittle, judge, and blame me when I questioned him or held him accountable. It was ammunition to try to hurt me and deflect from his wrongdoing.
🥺🥺
That's my narc mother. She was a mean spiteful mother. As I got into my teens she got worse. She would take me shopping with her and buy all the latest fashions. I would get one item as a reward for trailing around with her. I had to choose one item from all the things she would make me try on.
When it came to family get togethers she would dress herself up while I would have to alternate the two or three items I had. I recall looking in my wardrobe when I was 16 and I had three items. A skirt and two blouses.
It's not about the things, it was her way of making shopping a miserable experience and let me know how little I deserved.
I didn't know this would be triggering. Things 10x worse are coming to mind. I just can't go through them all.
It's heartbreaking because it's not just selfishness and insensitivity, they really MEAN to hurt you. I think that you maybe, like me, are hurting more in the realising this years later, than even at the time. ❤
Trauma has a way of changing our outlook on things. stay strong
Because they HAVE to stay on top of others, it makes them feel powerful and in control. It is subconscious. They must see you down ( they have hierarchical thinking ) in order to feel better. Everything in their life is to get fuel and go to the top of somebody else.
They are animals not human, don't beat yourself up.
I don't know if your mother is still alive, the best thing to beat them up and have a revenge is to live your life better and happier than them. Not just parents, but friends etc.
Now I have a new tactic - when my narc friend calls, I am all delighted to tell her how my life is better, having big plans that I am excited etc. This shuts them up for good 😂🤣😂🤣.
Take this as advantage to improve yourself and enjoy happiness, authenticity etc. things that they will never have.
Enjoy little things, love and similar as they will always be miserable.
Put your joy in their face.... It works I can feel their hate of me Woohoo Hooo 🥳🥳🥳
@@lennie1703 Ugh, just wrote a response and lost it somehow. It must mean I wasn't meant to post a long, rambling message.
Suffice to say, there are umpteen examples of her terrorizing me all my life.
You are so right. Realizing now that it was her not me. I'm so damaged though. I see that now. It took 50 years for me to figure all this out. I'm textbook child of a narc mother. It's like flashbacks whenever something she did pops up in my head. It is doubly traumatizing.
@@NMTDelightfulMusic Thank you. The witch is still alive. I usually refer to her as the c*** word.
I have been no contact for about a year now. My son passed in 2021. After that her effing bullsh*t didn't fly. Her minions were seeing her in a new light. Talking about me and spreading lies about me turned her audience away. Nobody wants to hear that about a mother has buried her only child. They stopped believing her. They knew I didn't have the strength to be the way she said I was being.
Imagine this, two months after I buried my only child she sent a picture of me from before he passed. I looked great. I was slim, my hair, make up, clothes were all looking good. She sent the pictures to me saying, I thought you could use these pictures to motivate you.
Yeah, I've gained 50lbs and I look like shit. I'm working on finding reasons to stay alive. My hair, my skin, my nails, my clothes and my blubber are not something it would be beneficial to my mental health to focus on.
I really admire what you're doing. In the past, I didn't realize I was dealing with a true narcissist. I strongly feel that most narcissistic are angry with who hurt them in the past and things they wanted to say or do to those people are being dumped on innocent people who they feel that they can dump their trash on.
I feel like this is part of it. Especially with the covert ones. They’re angry at their guardians or parents who hurt and neglected them so they sabotage everyone else around them who gets close to them.
Exactly
I totally agree
You hit every single nail right on the head - every one of them. You looked at some things at a different angle than I did, therefore, you definitely educated me more on this stuff. The depth and severity of the sibling and relative hate, jealousy, envy is just unbelievable, unfathomable, and completely off the chain. It just completely blows my mind. You better believe this stuff is EXTREMELY dangerous and toxic. Get these people out of your life quickly and permanently. Give all this stuff to the Lord and he will fight your battles for you. The bible says to "guard your hearts" from people like this. You can't change them, only the Lord can.
I am leaving/moving out tomorrow from a two year relationship with a narcissist and was feeling really weak and sad today and something you said helped me a lot. You said they don’t hate (or resent) you because you lack something, they hate (or resent) you because you HAVE something. I have been feeling like the ongoing cheating was because I must’ve lacked this or that. That statement caused a light to go on and I’m looking at this differently. It took away some of the struggle I was feeling tonight. Thank you 😊
you’re welcome
As a victim of narcissistic abuse, it’s actually really amazing to listen to you be so self aware, and on your healing journey, it’s actually really refreshing to watch some thing I’ve never seen before… Thank you for being vulnerable and honest to make these videos and also to help other diagnosed narcissist on their healing journey 💪🏾💪🏾
🥴💀💀💀 This is soooo true. 100% of the time you don't even have to do anything wrong and they get weird, upset & crazy. I'm not changing for nobody. I'm going to be my own empathetic self. Too bad narcissists. You better get a clue real fast cause you're hurting yourselves. Also stay in your own lane cause I stay in mine but respect my boundaries💯🎯. I've walked through HE[[ & back dealing with their projections and I refuse to go back 😣 👍🏼🙏🏽🥰.
Yes. He told me I made him feel insecure because of my kindness. He would pick arguements over his stuff.
This! As soon as you feel they love you and they say they do, they hate you. It’s not about you. You are lovable. They hate you for making them vulnerable. Especially if you are a good mom or parent. They hate that they can’t be you. They hate that you noticed any flaw in them. You have to be 100% approving in them or they react!!! If they don’t say it - they will be angry or depressed all the time.
The narcissist’s insecurities are the culprit for EVERYTHING that they do. You elaborate on the different branches of it all so well. Always having that “AHA!” moment watching your content.
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me, i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her
@jay pritchett wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?
@jay pritchett Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
@jay pritchett there are many ppl with that name. Is she Black?
You can't stop thinking about the illusion of her. She was a fakeass narc. No more no less. I hope this helps.
@jaypritchett3414 only spiritual advisor is Jesus Christ sign Cynthia Smith
The very first thing he said to me was that he was jealous because I was "human". After a year and a half, and after he took advantage of supply, services, gifts, acquaintances, safety, I am still human, treat him kindly and compassionately. I took self care really seriously and lost lots of weight, started working out, worked on my family relationships and started glowing. The more i felt happy, the more he distanced himself. I am still an advocate of kindness and civility. It is sad that a person can hate you for that, but at least i gave it a try. People do deserve to be given chances. I pray for him as i pray for me. But with some people, loving from a distance is the best for everybody in the end. Thank you, Lee. All your videos are helpful and make me feel relieved. Love your joking nature in the videos. Makes our pain a bit lighter.
Its no way I can deal with that type of behavior. Love yourself.
Your right, she really got toxic when I left her. Hating me doesn't effect me one bit. Her opinion doesn't mean one thing to me. Amazing you love her, then wonder how you can be involved with someone like her. I healed quickly after dealing with someone like her. I'm living a normal life now. She can just suffer with herself. I'm out of all of her behavior. Good bye Glenda.
I think some narcissists hate themselves. How would they be able to spew out so much negativity if they love themselves? If they did love themselves, why would they need to make a false self? Pretending to be someone they aren't. It seems like some narcissists do hate themselves. It may not sound so appealing to a narcissist to admit it.
It’s so crazy.. I told my ex all the time. Literally those words. “You hate me, you hate everything I am”.
When u know how to spot them, its easier to avoid them. Teaching yourself is the best weapon against them
I had all my life relationship problems with my sister and did not know why, thank you for helping me understand finally, she is a full blown narcissist , thank you
Same
Just got out of a relationship with a narcissist. He did this exact thing to me, literally hated me for just existing. I wasnt allowed to have friends, hated the fact that I was a friendly person and got along with other people. Accused me of cheating constantly. Most draining relationship i had ever been in.
I swear I’m so glad I found this channel. I thought I was only going through this. I really can’t believe this my life. Married to a man for 15 years with kids. I’m starting to not be able to deal with this anymore
I've asked why they did what they did to me for so long. Why? Why? Why? Now I know. Thank you for this.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
@Emilio Yepez its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
I disagreed with someone at work and put boundaries and now they are running a smear campiagn at work. It's the worst thing, how someone can try and hurt you because you put them in thier place. The rage is unbelievable and I have been ignoring them.
Working with a Narc everyday has got to be hard. You can’t cut them off.
I am having the same issue. This gal stops at nothing to gas light and send her flying monkeys after me. Some days, I just want to go home and put a bullet in my head…all of this because I told her I can’t take her home after work anymore. That was several months ago and let me tell you…she is a walking, loud talking nightmare to ME! Only me! She has befriended all of the coworkers she trash talked to me. Now she’s working on management to destroy me. I’m so over this! All of this because I couldn’t take her negative, disgusting attitude towards all of my coworkers. I don’t think she liked one of them. Now, lol, they are all in her back pocket drinking the Koolaid. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I never thought about what Lee just said, that our very existence is what makes them hate us and feel so uncomfortable. This is beyond chilling for me. Can’t process or hold this right now, makes me want to vomit, though in my gut I feel that it’s true. Again, this is so evil. Why choose to be with us if they really hate us? It’s for the sole purpose of destroying us. This shreds me.
Never show an emotion, no matter what they do. It drives them absolutely nuts.
😞😞
Hi Mike,do you know of any groups where I can join to talk and vent and get advice about dealing w a narcissist??
Thank you.
This makes so much sense. He used to idealize me and tell me how I was too good for him and that quickly turned into him treating me like he hated me. Me just talking about my life or my day would trigger him immediately so he’d start to stonewall, give one word answers and then try to insult me if he could.
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Thank God I found your channel. Your perspective explains reasons behind so many confusing behaviors. Clarity is power.
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I agree. The things a Narcissist can teach you.
💯 I agree!
Yep yep yep. I ioften said in my mind after the fact "that guy hated me just for being me". After the breakup he literally said that he was jealous of my life. My tiny little life during covid. Wow.
"We tend to be attracted to what we lack, but then we hate that we lack it." Epic. Definition of a relationship with a narcissist. Thank you!
you’re welcome
He mirrors me at times. I go out to smoke..he does. I make cup of coffee he does. I put my laundry away he does..annoying
Sounds to me that he's an Organic Portal...
Really annoying
So true! I've been referred to as "the most high." "Mother Teresa." And even having a "domminequetress" type of personality for those who may come across my path or I theirs. There's been a lot of people who have tried to put me down, or "put me in my place." One of the things I like and love about me is that, well two of the things. I show up for myself. And I place effort into walking my talk. My light seems to irritate some people. My light is my life and show of choosing to allow positive energy to flow through me. Living a life with as little guilt and shame as possible. No, I'm far from showing up in life as a saint. I simply believe that if I want forgiveness then I must also give it. Whatever you want from the external realm must first be given. Become that which we want to have, and the person we want others to experience us as. Don't walk on eggshells for anyone, but do show up for yourself when you believe it is that time to do so People, please consider that if your life is to be lived with peace, good health, love, joy, happiness, and prosperity there's little room to allow another in your life if they can't relate to your life aspirations and or not willing to. What can make us love the narcissist/toxic person without feeling obligated to show that love? Or, to desire to want to be around such people? Once we know what defines love for us then we can start intentionally sharing our love and how we choose to love the individual. One day you could see this person in a room and their energy will not overtake yours. You will see them and simply nod your head up and down, or say, hi. And keep on moving without feeling any type of way. At the end of the day, "It's not what they think of you. But rather what do you think of them? " It is our thoughts that will primarily provide us with our results in life. If you read my post to the end, bless your heart. I appreciate the host for his willingness to show up in life and share his experiences as a self-aware narcissist. Stay encouraged! Love & Light to Everyone.🤩
I didnt want to admit that this entire time she was competing with me, my own best friend. But when i started looking up covert narcissism it hit me.
She always thought she was better even when she knew she was not. She started to crack after realizing looks aren’t everything
During school and our younger years her attractiveness got her far and enabled some bad behaviour. Now that we are older it was starting to show and the gap was thinning I went the education route and became more aware of myself and my relationships. Got into multiple hobbies, Started dressing in nice clothes and makeup because i could afford to in my new high paying job, Found myself someone who loves me for me while she struggled even to make the worst men/women stay, thats when the abuse started. The sneaky comments, the comparing, the way she commented on my looks and behaviour was her turning me into something she could be comfortable being around and being seem with.
Cant keep a job, friends, a lover she never worked hard for anything or anyone in her life and buys the clothes she is always complimented on from child sweat shops because they are cheap but i am the problem because i don’t smile enough in public
I may have had some codependent issues that I realized were triggered because she was using narcissistic tactics that I was not used to (because i was only ever around Grandiose narcs)
Covert narcs are definitely a lot harder to see and find but im
Glad i did when i did
Never again no more manipulation for me.
I am 53...and thankfully have just met my first narcissist !!! I never even heard the word before!!!! I said NO too much 😂, he took off 🙏. I was too much for him...fool !!!
Sounds like me! They are just Evil!
Congratulations on deciding to write a book - well done!
Thank you
I used to say that all the time in my marriage. I never felt he loved me, and he absolutely hated me. You're right it comes out in how I was treated. I never understood it, so I appreciate this explanation. Thank you
Hello. What made u feel hated? I feel hated because he does the opposite of what I want. But doesn't communicate much to leave me confused.
i have a question why you people marry these kind of people. i cannot understand it. when is it that you marry someone. see their bad side first. otherwise DO NOT MARRY THEM...😖😖😖😫
You are so welcome
@@pasensi13 people marry abusive people when they were abused in childohood and dont know any better and feel they dont deserve better. that couldve been me
I’m still having a tough time processing this. It’s difficult standing my ground and continuing with the boundaries. However, when I think about him, I force myself to think back to all of the hurtful words directed toward me.
It was total hate and contempt from my exhusband. He hated me because I could always tell when he was lying. He hated that I called him out on his bullshit. He hated me because I went to college and he didn’t go to college. He hated that I have a close relationship with my kids and he isn’t close to his kid. He hated that I could have a conversation with other people on almost any topic and he can’t do that. He hated that he had to watch everything he ate and I don’t. He hated that I had a great childhood and he didn’t have a good childhood. He hated that I had a life before him. He hated that I was friends with my kids dad while he despised his ex wife. He hated me for genuinely being kind and understanding to other people because he can’t do that. Initially he lovebombed the shit out of me and he mirrored everything I loved. After a year or so, he suddenly hated everything I loved. I never blamed myself and I never will. He was an expert crazymaker and manipulator. I feel sorry for any woman he is with because nobody deserves to be treated like that. He is a high functioning covert narcissist. He manipulates his friends, family and coworkers. I have been totally no-contact for 1 year and I’ve never been happier.
stay safe
Yes! They dehumanize you. I feel like at some point I was no longer a person to him.
"What makes the narcissist hate, hate, hate you - hate your guts!" 🤣 Some of them do plot someone's funeral and act like they had nothing to do with their untimely earthly departure. You get to a point you don't care if they hate, hate, hate your guts. Thats a win when a narcissist hates you. It usually means you love you and that's what they hate. Secondly, a lot of their targets have had the same trauma the narcissists have had and we don't hate. We're grateful to have survived it and not be filled with envy, greed, lust, rage and deception. What goes in must come out. "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think on these things." ❤
Just discovering and diving into content after at least a month of this popping up in feed. We all need your content. Thank you! 📚
Cräp i used to have that toxic hate as a teen (but specifically towards one other person who used to have so much but was always showing off at me, but very subtly) drove me nuts and my own hate ruined so much good in my life until years later… i was so toxic back then it’s insane. Since then I’ve done a full 180 and still working on it. I don’t think I’m a narcissist but damn do i have some issues still working through. I was suspecting bpd but many of my symptoms disappeared since a greatly manipulative toxic person left my life so I don’t even know anymore lol. I don’t even care as long as I’m getting my therapy and doing the work
The reason narcissist hate is because of the demon that is present in them...the darkness can not survive in the light.
Lee, truly love you and you are a great help to many just remember as your channel asks for those commenting to be respectful and mindful of their comments, we ask the same of you.
You are an intelligent, slendid man no need to ever use GD when getting your point across.❤️
100% facts the ex’s mother used to call him the devil well she was not lying after you see them for who they are can’t unsee em they can’t take light
Demons don’t exist. Trauma, abuse and bad childhoods do. Saying it’s demons let’s them off the hook. Grow up,
@@emmarae4322 For it is written: We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
🕊🕯🙏✝️
Thanks for the honesty. Exactly right. The jealousy and insecurity of a narc. runs deep, "it's blood poison in the narc."
The narc. can hate on people who may barely know them.
Your existence makes then so uncomfortable that they hate you-your authenticity, your empathy, your righteousness, your pursuit of excellence, your purity, makes the narc. realize how vastly lacking they are.
"It doesn't take much to make a narc. hate you."
All of your good traits make them hate themselves more, so they must reciprocate the energy.
I’ve watched your videos all day and this is the most zen and genuinely calm I’ve ever been during a break up realizing it’s something I needed to do and you’ve brought me a lot of comfort and encouragement during a very difficult time. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Lee. I’m so excited for you and your wives book too! I bet she’s an intelligent woman!
The truth really gets to the narcissist indeed! Another great video as usual. Thanks for sharing!