10 Traits of Toxic Parents Who Ruin Their Children’s Lives
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- Опубликовано: 3 июн 2018
- Raising children is very difficult and no one has the right to judge someone's particular parenting style. However, some parenting mistakes are more dangerous than others and can seriously damage your child’s health. This video will help you find out what actually affects a child’s psyche and teach those who have toxic parents how they can deal with this issue.
When raised by narcissistic parents, children suffer from slowed-down emotional development or none at all, will most likely suffer from depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder when they become adults and grow up into an adult that’s either a self-saboteur or a person ready to sacrifice everything to achieve high goals.
Children of toxic parents live in constant fear and apprehension. They’ll grow up into teenagers forced to listen to their parents' complaints, adjust to a "complicated situation", put themselves in their parents' shoes, and help, tolerate, and console them.
Toxic parents might not see anything wrong whatsoever in telling all the relatives, neighbors, and family friends that deeply sensitive information the child was pressured into disclosing. These types of parents instill an inferiority complex in their kids since they don't wanna see their child try new things and succeed. Their narcissistic self-love generates fear at the thought of their child becoming better, smarter, and more successful than they are.
These parents seem to “generously” offer something that their children don’t really need, but any refusal causes resentment. A grown kid starts thinking, "My parents probably just want some company and wanna feel needed." So they accept the help, thank the parents, and offer something in return. But there's no happy ending here because the parents will always remind their children of that "favor" they did for them.
Music:
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TIMESTAMPS
The effect of toxic parenting on kids 0:53
Traits of toxic parents:
10. "Fear me yet love me." 2:01
9. "You need to deal with adult problems, but you still have no rights." 2:34
8. "Be the best but don't forget that you're not special." 3:14
7. "Open up to me but don't be surprised by ridicule." 3:54
6. "You're bad so don't even bother trying to become better." 4:31
5. "You can be successful but only if there’s something in it for me." 5:28
4. "Do exactly what I say, but it’s your fault if you fail." 6:15
3. "You’re such an inconvenience, but don't leave me alone." 6:38
2. "Accept our help but stop exploiting us." 7:11
1. "Trust me, but I’m still gonna go through your stuff." 7:58
How to handle a toxic parent? 8:44
SUMMARY
-When raised by narcissistic parents, children don't feel loved, heard, or seen, believe that how they look is more important than who they really are as a person. They don't feel support when they try to develop their true self.
-For toxic parents, an emotional attack is synonymous with love and attention.
-Kids of toxic parents probably believe that it's specifically their bad behavior that makes their father abuse alcohol to calm himself down.
-Even if their kid performs much better than they did once upon a time, all of the child's achievements are taken for granted.
-Toxic parents force their children to be sincere and later use the same personal information against the kids.
-Toxic parents eagerly discuss their child's failures and flaws.
-They enjoy boasting about their kids’ success so that others envy them. Plus, a successful child is a guaranteed better life for parents.
-Parents treat their child like an object: they make all the plans and expect their kids to follow along.
-Toxic parents never want to let their children go. Yet they’re always pointing out that the house, the money, and the food belongs to them.
-The kids turn into prisoners in either case: if they refuse their parents' help, they’re ungrateful brats. If they accept, they’ll always be made to feel indebted.
-If you try to restrict access to your personal territory, your parents accuse you of distrust or even hiding something illegal or immoral.
-We don’t pick our parents, and we can’t really change them. The only thing we can change is our reaction to their actions. Limit access to your personal territory. Choose your personal interests over those of your parents.
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Хобби
TIMESTAMPS
The effect of toxic parenting on kids 0:53
Traits of toxic parents:
10. "Fear me yet love me." 2:01
9. "You need to deal with adult problems, but you still have no rights." 2:34
8. "Be the best but don't forget that you're not special." 3:14
7. "Open up to me but don't be surprised by ridicule." 3:54
6. "You're bad so don't even bother trying to become better." 4:31
5. "You can be successful but only if there’s something in it for me." 5:28
4. "Do exactly what I say, but it’s your fault if you fail." 6:15
3. "You’re such an inconvenience, but don't leave me alone." 6:38
2. "Accept our help but stop exploiting us." 7:11
1. "Trust me, but I’m still gonna go through your stuff." 7:58
How to handle a toxic parent? 8:44
BRIGHT SIDE Thank you so very very much for posting this video.
I beilived my mother was a toxic person but I had no way to prove it to others.
She checks out every. Single. Box. 100%.
I plan to send this to my baby sister secretly so she can keep an eye out for the signs. Even though she is the “favorite” (according to my mother since her birth) I don’t want to risk her being hurt by our mother as well.
Thank you thank you.
My mom dose almost every one of these it makes me depressed a lot
my mon always compare me to my cousin and i am a filipino.so i dont have those problems except no. 6.
BRIGHT SIDE thanks bro
#8 isn’t really wrong. Remember, if everyone’s special, nobody is.
"We fed you, clothed you, and put a roof over your head and THIS is how you repay us?"
Anyone else?
same here
My reply " your parents also did that for you , did they say that".
Rishabh Attar they more likely did
Same!
Like I wanted them to do that. I never asked for clothes, food or a roof.
Once I tried to open up to my mom and I told her I was stressed. She said “you’re too young to know what real stress is”
aw Jeez I hate that response the way I see is I'm coming to you and about an issue don't shrug off my statement otherwise I'll just stop coming to you about anything.
True
ɐɐɐʌǝssǝɔuıɹd same mine says what would I have to stress about.
I hate for this to sound insensitive, But what were you stressed about? Also how old are you
Fish Gilbert I’m 13 and I was stressed bc I had 2 essays to turn in, I have house chores, and i has to do it all the next day. Plus I got all these issues like anxiety and depression
'act like an adult' yet she treats me like a child!
Thank you
I feel this
Yess 😂
John Taylor are you a parent don’t think a kid would say this
Ughhhh😩😩😩😩😩 it’s like they never want me to grow they put me in bad position make me feel insecure!! Compare me a lot it’s crazy😢😤
Me: opening up about my depression
Mom: Goes and tells my entire extended family aunts,cousins,etc...
Stephanie Ruiz judgemental mother got nothing else to talk about she shouldnt share that if u wasnt comfortabe with that oml
Bruh my mom does that when i have anger problems
Oh gosh 😂
One of the many reasons I’ll never tell my parents
I feel u
parents: * yell at you for 20 minutes *
parents: why are you crying?
for 2 / 4 hours..
@Carson Adamczyk yea same but they yell for about like 2 hours or even more 💁
my mom actually told me I'd never do anything in my life
@@ichi2759 ohhh i'm so sorry to hear this ❤ don't worry everything will be fine !!
Oh wait the infamous response of stop feeling sorry for yourself
parent logic:
*tells teenager to act like an adult*
*treats them like a child*
Cameron Gentry same here! it’s hard but I deal with it lol
Also toxic parents: "Take care of my problems for me! (parentification) Waaah!"
I was 14 had to help out with a kid all the time but didn’t get money barely got freedom
Confussing right? Im constantly confussed
Man this is scary because I just searched on youtube about toxic parenting and its accurate to the details of my "relationship" with my parents, I think I have narcissistic parents
Parents: yelling and threating me
Me: has a panic attack
Parents: keep yelling while Im having a panic attack
Then tells you to stop shaking.
Panic attacks have become a regular companion now
oh and actually yells at you and slaps/punches for you to change clothes and clean your face and just smile and do all the chores and when there are guests they tell me to smile and then
Me: Crying for 4 hours straight because of smth they did to me
Parents: making jokes of me and ignoring me feelings
It's exactly the same with me.😔😔😔😢
i am in the same situation bro...
Same...
Same
yeah that happens to me so many times so uh plese help me
i come to the point where im uncomfortable with my parents
Me too. My dad is disrespectful to me that I can't even go out with him without being uncomfortable or nervous. Actually, it's even uncomfortable for me to be near him.
@@chihabgm7796 I cant even talk to my parents, the only time I do is if they ask a question and I respond with the shortest response I can becuase there is always backlash and if they start a arguement about something
Me too I'm uncomfortable with my parents all the time.
@@chihabgm7796 Same, I feel you. 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Same.
I am forced to pretend like an entirely different person to suit my parents' rules of "the perfect child". I only do that whenever I'm around my parents.
So when my close friend who ACTUALLY know me tells something about me to my parents, they get extremely surprised.
Regardless of it being a good or a bad thing, they'd get shocked.
Cuz I never show any of my true interests, hobbies or emotions to my parents as they'd ridicule me if it seems disapproving or funny to them. They'd also not mind telling every person on Earth about my personal details, under the reason "we only do that since we care about you".
Despite all this, whenever I tell them that I'm settling down in a foreign country once I get a stable job, how I will only return once a year to visit them and how I won't ever come back to my country to stay for long periods of time, they'd get saddened/shocked. -.-
Parents: "You can tell me anything and I won't get mad"
Child: *Opens* *up* *and* *tells* *them*
Also parents: *Gets* *mad*
Highly relate to this
Truth
IKR?
yep
Same on everything
*hears garage door open*
Me: *panics*
For whatever reason when my mom comes in I fell like she’s gonna abuse me or mock/tease me
Also my mom and dad have favorites and I’m none of them
You're not the only one 😥
Same it’s always my fault one time I was at a friends house and when I came home I got in trouble for something that happened when I wasn’t their my brother never get in trouble and if they do their is no consequences
My dad also loves my brother more than me D:
Same here people I can never be editing youtube videos in front of my Mom or do anything that's just different according to them
Oh I relate sooo much😔
**mum screams at me**
Me: **cries**
Her: Those tears won’t work on me, dont even bother
Me: **confused hyperventilating**
I know, it feels like no matter what you do they are gonna feel like you are faking or guilt-tripping or literally anything
Literally my life
story of my life
@@zoe-sn6jk Because most of gen z do
I get beaten up for crying lol
This makes me wonder why do people bother having children if they're just going to bring their emotional instability and drama into their children's lives.
Social pressure to have Children, from Parents, Grandparents, Sibs and other relations, society, Media, etc.
I decided when i was 16 not to have Children, only Cats ( I love Cats, always have🧡).
42 years have passed ansd I have no regrets.
There was a lot of external pressures to resist but one of the things that helped me was knowing that my toxic Mother would not have treated any Children I had any better than she treated me.
In the end she was more sorry about my Childlessness than I was 😁
Miri Golden ...my parents didnt choose to have me. They adopted my sister and I but only wanted my sister. They only took me in because they didnt want to hurt my little sister by separating us. They are toxic people...but only to me. Yes, they told me they never wanted me when I was 16...so...yea...there are some situations where the toxic person doesn't want the child to begin with but are forced to have them because of social pressures or other reasons...
Miri Golden .. Lots of times its only to fix the broken relationships they are either in or trying to fix. They think babies fix relationships.
There are many reasons. Sometimes it happens on accident. Sometimes they are not bad people, just have way too many unresolved issues. They would like to change and feel like having children will help them with that and also fix relationship problems. And in most cases the act of child birth can have wondrous effects - even on "crazy people" (I know a lot of dysfunctional ppl with kids). What they don't know is that those effects are temporary and if they were really willing to confront their inner daemons and change, they would already be doing something... but more often than not these are the kind of people who dread visiting a psychologist for example, which means they are not actually serious about changing themselves.
But then the child is born... they have even less time to confront their own psychological problems and they subconsciously take it out on the kid(s). And so the vicious cycle of dysfunction continues.
Most young people have no idea what kind of adults they will be, and have even less of an idea of what kind of parents they will be. They may not know they are bringing emotional instability or drama into the lives of their children. Also, what works well for one child may have the opposite result for another. So for one child, a parent is kind, patient, and stable, but for the other, the parent is a monster. Example: my sister and I agree that my mother was a wonderful person, by no means perfect, but she was a great mother. My brother, on the other hand, couldn't stand her. She was the same parent to him that she was to us, but he interpreted her attitudes, behaviors and actions as negative. We all tend to show different sides of ourselves to different people, depending on their own presentations of self.
Yes, there are parents who damage their children (i.e., my sister-in-law kept telling her beautiful daughter that if she ever wanted a nose job, she would support her), but parents can make mistakes without realizing it. It doesn't mean they are emotionally unstable.
I can’t wait to finally buy my house and never see my parents again.
Buying it in secrecy is important since theyll end up moving to your house and making there own rules
Me too. Once I get a job and leave after a few years I will never ever return. But my mother is forcing me to study the subject that I don't like and to get the job that I don't want to get.
Adam Trew ikr
@@pauljerome01 kick em out
@@kribbli4417 That wont stop them from having a pity party or emotional outrage
My parents, especially my mother even went as far as trying to turn my children against me. They tried to turn everyone against me. Yet when they needed something I was always there. CRAZY
i would of got a restraining order
Oh how I can relate! Still dealing with this right now! So tired of it! It has cost my kids and me and my husband so much pain! If it wasn’t for my family and them always starting drama over the years me and my husband would have a great marriage
My grandmother did that to my mom too abd she is the reason why my mom islike her
Even if I didn’t do anything I get scared when I hear my parents footsteps
Same
same
Same here
Same cause my mom always has something to complain about
Same
My dad: **mad I don't open up to him**
Me: tell him about my problems in school
My dad : blames me for everything
We're same dudeee im asian actually but im not Chinese
Same ;-;
Literallyyyy 🥺❗️
My dad is the same way! I don’t tell him anything because he will just ridicule me. The other day I told him I was depressed and he literally just told me to get over it!?
@@cotyroberts2871 lol wow. That helped.
The thing that I really hate is that they think I'm too young to feel stressed🤦🙁🤷
You must be an early ambryo then
Yeah word, they laugh at me when I say i am stressed
Yes
@John Taylor ignorant troll 🖕🏻
I say "Mom, I'm stressed" or "Mom, I'm anxious" all she says is "YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE STRESSED". Yea ok then, let's see how "stressed" I am when i'm not here.
Three out of my five siblings have attempted suicide and one of them succeeded a few years ago.
My parents (narcissist) still believe their children are the problem.
They have done every single one of these things countless, countless times. This fits them to a T in every way.
Respect is earned, and some parents do not deserve it at all. Some are evil.
I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through that. even more your siblings, condolences.. how are you coping with it now..?
R u better now.?
Update ussssssss
Can I please meet them
I'm sorry for your loss, you and your siblings. I have hope that you and your siblings can cope with this pain and get better. My condolences 🙏.
“Ive done everything for you, yet you’re still so ungrateful”
Me: yet you’re one who’s all mad and attacking me, don’t be surprised if I’m suspicious.
I feel that my friends are more family than my real family
Omg ikr 😂😂sameee
You’re lucky to have friends
Same except for my older brother, he's the only reason I haven't ran yet
You're not alone
Once your friends are taken away, nothing is left. Even though there are people who want to be alone, no one can take it.
parents: *yelling,screaming at me*
me: *almost crying*
parents: why are you crying?
me: *force to smile*
parents: why are you smiling?
I hate it when they say “don’t cry.” I just think “gee, being yelled at to the point where criticism just feels like a personal attack stabbing into my heart and soul is fun!”
@@meaux7274 i agree...
Y G 💔
🤦
@@meaux7274 totally feel you. Been there a gazillion times!!
Mom: *constantly belittles me and neglects my individuality*
Also mom: *why are you so distant*
My mom does hat too. My parents don't really I've any effort to show any interest in what I enjoy and then they ask me why I never share anything with them
so basically bc of this my sister and I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and we’re both hospitalized for it...
😓 that's sad
The scariest thing is it's so subtle since childhood you never notice it. You just realise you hate them but don't exactly know why. And they guilt you for that because you can't pinpoint what's wrong.
Anon Anon
Yes!!!!
OH MY GOD THIS
This indeed! Im seeing a therapist now since march and slowly but surely my eyes are being opened that it is not normal and that i deserve better. Still got a long way to go, but for the first time in my life i have hope that i'll be happy some day
YES!! i always blamed myself because i thought that's how it was supposed to be even when i meet my friends nice parents i always convince myself that im ok my life's supposed to be this way
Anon Anon Yees!! For so long i knew there was something wrong but i couldn't put my finger on it. Now finally after so many years of getting mentally and physically abused i found it out. Now my mom hates me because i call her out on her nasty ways but i get no where because anything i tell her about her negative behavior she tries to flip back on my siblings and me. It's hard.
“Those who bring you down are already below you.” -author unknown
Hey, many people should hear this !!! - thanks for saying that :D
Well said, Kristen.
Nice! 🤗
Preach baby preach
Kristen McCarthy o
I’m growing up with a dad that will beat me for my mistakes, yell a lot, very high temper, and never proud of me. ☹️😭
Connect with a childline immediately my dear Friend :(
We're PROUD of you buddy
I really feel your pain because it's the same as mine
One time my sister punched her twice bc I disagreed with her and I fought back and she got dad and dad puncher me knowing i defending myself I’m 13 and my sisters 20
@@snipercow861 That must hurt.
Parent : *yelling for a long time*
Me : literally crying
Parent : STOP CRYING OR I WILL HAVE TO TAKE YOUR ELECTRONICS FOR A WEEK
EXACTLY. No comfort from them afterwards. taken back like 8-10 years ago. i dont know what goes through their head when they yell at me just to seek short term happiness sacrificing my whole long term well being. i am emotionally broken till now like hahah thanks toxicity.
Ikr :'(
i thought i was the only one
Kataraaaaa :D
Same
Narcissistic parents often dish out plenty of criticism towards others yet become enraged if they are on the receiving end of criticism
charles Receski I know, right?
charles Receski preach!!!
charles Receski ✅my mother to a T.
This is sadly very true. My mother is a narcissist and when I, her only fukken son gives her constructive criticism she throws a tantrum and gets butthurt about it.
That was my mother as well.
I always have panic attacks hearing the keys of my house unlock, I just fear he will catch me doing something I shouldn’t. Even if I did nothing wrong...
I hope you can navigate you way out of this toxic, well more than toxic relationship. I wish you the best of luck.
He will catch you listening to BTS.
LILBROKEBOY I don’t listen to BTS... I think it’s because of my icon eh ? 😂
@@thegloriousmorious9755 why do you have a BTS icon if you ain't a fan tho 😂😆😁
LILBROKEBOY that is Yoo Kihyun from Monsta X
My mom: You can trust me I’ll give you some space
Also my mom: WHO ARE YOU TEXTING
She asked me this question right now.
I feel bad for you. When my mother asks me, I answer and she goes like oh.
" no one has the right to judge someone's particular parenting style"*
*proceeds to gut-laughing uncontrollably, ...followed by crying.
I'm going to show this video to every single person who shames me for not "loving" my parents or when I describe their behavior says some variation of "but you know they do it because they love you"
No!
Stop!!
Don't normalize this behavior! Not everyone has to love their blood family or choose to participate in it especially in cases of abuse like this
yees exactly!
It's like if you put your parents in a care home and you separate them from you they would just go to relatives and say it and then the relatives and family members would attack you and try to degrade you. So you get stuck at what to do.
Eden Thaw: Why even bother explaining? Cut them off also...
Why is it so hard for people to understand ''I never chose to live, to have the parents i have, but they chose me''
Eden Thaw omg I got that too people tell me your parents are like that because they love u so much
My parents do just about all of these things and yet, If I showed the video to them, they would disagree with the entire thing.
true
Renee I wouldn’t even bother
that is how my parents would be
It doesn't serve their purpose or they have really bad cognitive dissonance
TRUE
I get happy when my dad leaves the house
And when he comes home I lose all joy in whatever I was doing.
Bruh!
Yup same
I'm happy when I have the house to myself. When my parents come home I go down to my bedroom to avoid them as they are killjoys
I avoid toxic people
Same
Man, between the two of my parents I’ve been living through all of this for 31 years. When I tried to leave and start my own life once, my mum emotionally blackmailed me and then I was trapped here. I have never met people as selfish as my parents. It’s crazy that they tick every single point made here.
I disagree with the suggestion to not cut your parents out of your life. I have cut my parents out of my life and I haven't been this happy in..... a long time. I dont think it is unfair in the slightest. They do nothing but cut me down, degrade me, neglect me, and emotionally abuse me. I am still dealing with the scars and open wounds of years ago and it would be downright idiotic to go back for seconds. This is not a matter of unfairness, it's a matter of protecting myself from those horrible people.
Oh good for you I'm going to do the same when I get a job after becoming financially sustainable
@meep meep
Bravo!
Good for you 👌
Sometimes one just has to walk away to maintain one's Sanity.
I walked away from my Mother and Older Sibs.
No regrets.
I keep "jokingly" bringing up emancipation to my parents once I get a steady job, and they laugh at me. I have severe anxiety and depression, as well as terribly low self esteem because of them.
The 22nd Pilot Me too, once U graduate high school I’m going to try to get out of my house
You did the right, difficult, and brave thing.
You cant change how you were raised but you can decide your future
and fight for that future!
L Felly like a freaking dawg!!!! 🐶💪
Beat parents up
Big facts
Not always 😂😂
My parents have done this on a subtle, almost undetectable level, my whole life; yet, they still did ALL of these things more than once.
me: *shows my mom drawings i drew that im proud of, talks about something i learned, shows my mom my good grades*
my mom: k
also
me: *makes a C in math, which is something im not that good at*
my mom: HOW COULD YOU MAKE A C IN MATH, NO INTERNET FOR A WEEK
Yeah, it's doesn't feel good when people seem to only notice our weaknesses and ignore our strengths.
I noticed that many people commonly forget to show appreciation for the good things their loved ones do. I think it usually isn't just the parents that don't appreciate the kids though. I feel like most people take all types of family members for granted at times. I am guilty of this too sometimes; although I try to make a conscious effort to show thankfulness to others.
I guess most parents expect their children to behave well and do good in school by default, so when they do these good things the parents don't make a fuss. But, we SHOULD male a fuss over the good kids do!
But this goes both ways. Rarely do children make a fuss that their parents went to work and paid the rent, utilities, phone bills, and buy clothes and food. Rarely do children really show much thanks for their parents cooking their meals, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, doing the shopping, taking care of animals, helping them with their homework, driving them to where they need to go, etc. Kids usually don't realize all the things the parents don't buy for themselves just so they can afford to give the kids the things and access to activities they want. They assume that since their parents are supposed to do these things, they fail to appreciate it.
So, I have this thing I do now. When I feel like someone is taking my good qualities and hard work for granted and being unappreciative for all the kindness and generosity I extend to them, before I allow myself to get upset I ask myself: "Have I shown appreciation today for everything I have to be thankful for?" Then I make a quick mental list of every single thing that was good that happened, or good thing I witnessed someone do, no matter how small. Then I ask myself, did I make an effort to show appreciation (at least say 'thank you"). Usually, I will end up remembering something good that very person I considered unappreciative did that was good (got a good grade, cheered up their sibling, etc.), and I realize that I didn't do much to show appreciating to them either. Then, I feel too hypocritical to call them out on not showing gratitude to me. So instead, I'll mention to them the nice thing they did earlier and tell them I really appreciated it.
If after doing this I still feel like the person is being very ungrateful toward me, I will mention it to them later, when I am not as annoyed. I will give them a specific example of when they made me feel unappreciated, instead of making blacked statements like, "You NEVER appreciate anything good I do." If you use blanket statements, that will just make them defensive. Usually, they will automatically try to defend themselves by saying you are the unappreciative one. But, since you're making an effort to be thankful, you'll have plenty of examples of times when you specifically complimented them, or did a chore for them, etc., to show your appreciation for something nice they did. If they are a reasonable person, they will stop being defensive, and you'll notice that at least for the rest of the day, they'll attempt to be more polite. This is how my oldest daughter reacts.
Although, if they aren't that reasonable, they will either call you a whinny, claim not to remember what you're talking about, or gaslight you and tell you a different version of events actually happened. Just to be fair, the unreasonable people that do this are usually teenagers doing this to an adult (my other two teenagers usually do this, unfortunately). But, I doubt a parent would do this to a child, unless they are evil.
I get no internet for about 3 years
@@jamesandchante I am beyond grateful for having a home and food. After each meal I thank my parents for giving me food. Sometimes they treat me like im way older than I am and expect me to do things on my own without any help. I help my mom with chores and sometimes I make my own food. My sister is the one who does most of the mess but I have to clean it. (she doesn't learn as fast as we do because she has something I forgot the name but she still understands my mom when she tells her to clean) My parents can be nice sometimes but they're sometimes mean to me. I'm always scared to ask my dad something because I feel like he's going to yell at me or hit me. I can tell you're a great parent to your kids. Thanks for reading this, I hope you have a great day :D
Yep
I wish I got a c in math:(
_"Sweetie you can tell me anything, I won't get mad I promise."_
*Child tells them what's wrong*
_"Are you serious?! Get over it. I can't believe you're whining about that right now."_
"Why are you sad/angry about this?! What are you, MENTAL?!"
I relate
The biggest lie you ever hear
the android sent by cyberlife OMG THAT IS MY MOM EVERY DANG TIME IT IS SO ANNOYING! THIS IS WHY I DONT TELL HER ANYTHING
the android sent by cyberlife yup sounds like my mom 😒
My mom expected me to stay home throughout my whole life and made me feel guilty for every single time I went out. Yet when I stayed home she wouldn't talk to me or interact in any way. She just didn't like the idea of an empty house. She would forbid me to do anything and go anywhere and even if she let me she would make me feel guilty for living my life. Moved out at 18, never looked back.
i aspire to be like you- a strong, courageous independent woman. maybe some day..
@@mewbao4744 I wasn't always strong. I'm still not because it hurts when you feel like you're the reason why you don't get along with your family. But what is more important, living in content with yourself or trying to please people who will never appreciate it?
Monika Wojciechowska if i were you, delete your mom from your contacts (as in EVERY contact) then maybe she will finally realize the psycholgical effect that keeping you at home had on you,
this is my life too
Good decision 🤘
My parents loved to compare me in a negative situation then get offended when I try standing up for myself
my mom is always telling me that i was an accident and that she already has 2 amazing children that are better than me but bold of her to assume i wanted to be born in the first place
I'm so sorry
My mom is like: " Go save money, so you can buy what you want." But when I have money, I use it to buy thing I want. And she will go through my things and ask, " why did you buy this useless things?!" "Where did you get money?" " Don't use what you saved for useless things like this".
I'm annoyed. I don't know where to place myself anymore ughh
*Spent all of their money on V-Bucks*
Wow mine actually didn't care how I spent my money. She needs to back off. She did say you can but what YOU want. It's YOUR money
Makayla Cunning it's not really her money if she saved it from her mom unless she got it from her job
when I save money my mom has to approve what I buy. For example I have been playing the piano for 6 years and I wanted to start playing the guitar (for the ladies) and she wouldn't let me buy a guitar with my own money because she thinks I don't need it.
hammyburger charm she didn't say it was from her mom though did she?
My therapist taught me a good trick. My parents call me to complain about each other. My therapist said to subtly redirect the conversation, such as if my mom screams about my dad not taking out the trash, I might say “I saw a beautiful sofa on the trash curb the other day” and start talking about furniture. Eventually the parents begin to realize they aren’t getting satisfaction from complaining to you. And they stop. It took nearly a year to retrain my parents, but it worked long term.
Wow thank you ... I should start doing that too
Diane W my mom says, I want to talk with you as if you are my best friend this is why I'm simply having a conversation with you... Yes , screaming judgement on other people in the family is a conversation... But I will try that although I am not sure if it will work all the time cause I can't just mention a sofa on the curb so nonchalantly. But I will try this like my sanity depends on it.
To add to this, look up "gray rocking" too. Teach your parents that they won't easily get their narcissistic supply from you, and make this a habit.
I might actually start using this trick. Thank you!
thank you. i have a dad who used to constantly insult my mom (they've been divorced for at least 6 years or more) in front of me. it always made me uncomfortable and depressed and i wish i knew this trick during the time when he would complain about her. i'll remember this if he ever starts doing it!
Parents: "you're bad so don't even bother trying to become"
Also parents: *Forcing to do school whether do you like it or not*
But this video is just describing every “strict” Asian.
😂 so true
nitya m yeah my parents like have all things in this video
Im an asian and its very true
Mexican family here.
Ikr
Blood and Genes make you related. Loyalty and Love makes you family. -Sky Williams
exactly
I like that......
Very well said
You're wise.
My parents say they trust me but they go through my self and blame me for the mistakes they never help me improve
Parents: You need to be independent!
Me: *makes a decision myself*
Parents: HOW DARE YOU
Me: wut the fu-
So true like my dad say don’t ask them questions I don’t and I finish and they are like “WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME?!?!”
-ck
Lol yess 😂
I feel u~~~ just learn to earn ur self and leave them... then they will understand what they lose...
Because parents these days lack common sense when it comes to teaching kids, I’m a kid and when it comes to taking care of kids I have more knowledge than they do.
Mom: Who all are your friends now?
Me: No one. Everyone hates me at school
Mom: Pfft! What a loser!
no freaking way did she just say that. wow
And then they yell when we DO have friends...hypocrites...
“ build up your own experience, instead of going off your parents I know better”
Yea he’s a god
I cried... I literally cried all throughout this video...
Its not easy being in a toxic family... its not easy at all.
Please never give up guys. You'll get through it. We all will.
rainer miriarilkie Thank you.. thank you.
Savage Jesus Are you feeling okay Jesus?
Savage Jesus thats the kind if mindset that will ensure u wont get through it. And that means they won. I refuse to let them win
i dont think your family have all of those, my family have 10,9,2 and a bit of 1 ( i have a key so i have privacy when i'm on my room ) .
we re humans, no one perfect , but if that really hard for you , you better ask someone help . ( i have brother so i have someone to share some pain )
Darkizer my family has every single one of those traits but anyway
Well then my parents are so toxic I wonder why I haven't died of toxicness overdose yet
I feel yah
Lol
U r strong!..damn..I wish I was that strong
Im almost down from toxic help...
@@cozymc3309 here if u need help :((
I don't ever want to see my mom when I move to California or prison!
I was literally hitting the like button over and over again
my dad once came into my room and saw me crying and said "stop crying you're not getting anything done"
Many parent don't understand that the purpose of parenting is to raise healthy, independent, well-adjusted adults. But don't forget that narcissistic parents are probably themselves a product of bad parenting.
It's true I was just saying in my comment that my grandma treated my mom the same as the way my mom had treated me.
So you just popped in with an excuse. At this point we hear than more if not in place of help with every interaction.
I had a parent who mistreated me it was her own trauma of living in an abusive marriage where her needs weren't met that caused her to mistreat me to this day I find it hard to meet trustworthy people and I'm a kind and loving person
You are absolutely right and maybe I am naive but I believe in improvement for parents with narcissistic traits, because I have seen some improvements with the right therapy
No excuse! I have two narcissist parents and did not repeat any of the behaviors of my abusive parents. Everyone has a choice not to hurt an innocent child.
The only way to heal from narcissistic parents is to go no contact. Boundaries are never respected no matter what you try to put in place. I am in year 6 of going no contact with my narcissistic mother. I still have a long journey of healing in front of me, but it’s the best decision I’ve ever made for myself and my sanity.
Same here. When I tell people about my decision they are always shocked. They always ask me whether I feel like I lost something, but I had nothing to lose. It took me 27 years to realise that the "love" my mother gave me wasn't actually love, and I was finally starting to learn what love truly was. That was 3 years ago now. It was the best decision I ever made in my life.
Omg, yes, so true. Until recently, I talked to my dad, and it's unbelievable he is a master manipulator and makes me feel the bad person here, and says hurtful things to me and then I confront him and he says that he never said that. I was indeed losing my sanity. And I blocked my parents both, because no matter what I will do, I am always disappointing them anyway, but honestly they are the biggest disappointments themselves, they don't feel worthy themselves and they project it on the children. I am done, they are just people, and indeed I want to keep my sanity. :) It's just the guilt that I am dealing with, but perhaps I have healed the majority of it.
@@AngeliqueMerchant Don't feel guilty. If they didn't force you to cut contact then you never would have. Never tell yourself that this is your fault. You tried many times to heal the relationship with them, whereas it should have been them trying to repair the relationship since they were the adults in the situation. By feeling guilty and responsible you're feeling exactly what they want you to feel, because they always made you believe everything was your fault and your job, etc, instead of their own. Just accept that your parents have lost their chance to be in your life forever; it was not a decision that you made lightly.
Thank you for sharing your stories. I’m 41 now and it still hurts, but I have my own little family and a small circle of friends. I think of my mother every day, but there is honestly no event or experience that would ever make me go back to her. It’s sad that my dad and brother continue to be her flying monkeys and I cannot have a relationship with them.
Take it day by day, and always know that you can carve out your own family with friends and other loved ones. And if any of you are or plan on being parents one day, just know that you can break that cycle of abuse. I have done that, and though I am far from a perfect mom, I’ll never be anything like my mother, and for that I’ll always be grateful.
how to remove negative influences from your life: minimize exposure. yall all need to see 'nonviolent communication' -you want to watch the 3hr one.
Well my parents always acked like they know everything more than me . But they actually not 😡😡
Same
Same
My mom says everytime
Mom is always right
saaaaaame my parents always think theyre correct and dont admit it when i prove them wrong (very rare)
True, my mom says that she lived her life so i should listen to her all the time
The effects of toxic parents on kids:
I feel so called out right now 😬
I am 90% of what they said so by that logic my parents were indeed toxic ☹️
The worst part is when they compare you with someone that’s like 10 times worse than you
Zara S (friends are fine but Cousins...like what no,no,no, they haven't seen their real side😑 and especially when they compare you with someone who is really older that you and someone who is really younger than you😑😂
Zara S when I get compared to anyone I lose it. I was learning to play the piano, keyword being _was_, and one day I was compared to someone (I forgot their name), when that was said I left the room and walked home from my grandparents, after that my effort and interest dropped significantly and now I don’t play at all
You can try advicing them but they will tell you "I am older than you, I know better"
Good luck 💪
There is some things a child knows better than a adult y'know but not all
Naw.. I never heard that before.. lol.. yes I was being sarcastic.
Or they pull "we're the parents"
@John Taylor It is their duty to do so they don't have a choice. When they decided to keep me they must provide for me according to law.
Mr. Monkey or they be like
Who do you think I’m talking to
BRUH
After I ask my mom does she love me she just goes mute and I just start judging myself feeling like nobody loves me. It makes me feel unwanted😢
Yep
My mom: *yells at me for the littlest of things*
Me: *starts too cry* (I’m sensitive to yelling)
My mom: oh noo.. why are you crying?? :(
Something extra I guess?? , My mom also owns a little store and I don’t like it personally. Today I didn’t wanna get up because she wanted too go to the store and she literally, *screamed* at the top of her lungs for me too get up and how I was being lazy. (I deal with this on a daily basis) Is there any tips?? I can’t live with my dad because he’s also manipulative and a alcoholic. Idk why I’m venting in a comment section lol-
I'm sensitive to yelling too dont worry
My mom and step dad argue all the time
*Having one or both toxic parents are one of the worst.*
The ones whom you can rely the most can also be the ones to mess up your life.
Literally an 'inside' job - messing up your children without any regard to them.
I only have one. My other one is at the store.
That’s why it hurts. We grow up believing we can trust them but they stab us on the back making it hard for us to believe in others too & even ourselves. I still suffer from social anxiety from being told I’m not good enough & no one will ever like me. Both parents told me that. I’m the one that had it worse than all my sisters & it hurts to see they don’t have my back either on that.
its like one is bipolar or double sided and the one is abusive. the only way I cope is to distract myself with studies and internet. They usually bother me with the usual words "You're always on that phone" and starting to belittle me. Heck, they even tried to control almost everything about me, to my social privacy to even my emotions. Anxiety usually bothers me. Please help.
I ended up obsessively clinging to the non-narcissistic parent even though he literally abandoned me on a friend's doorstep, told me he'd be back in a few days and never came back... I delusionally made a million excuses for his behavior because it still didn't feel as bad as the way my mom treated me.
Anyone else ever have a whole family who has called you useless...
kh critical player : This is so sad to hear. I’m sure you are not useless becauSe we are all precious and God made us with unique potencial. It’s those people in your family that don’t know what they are saying. If you have feelings. You have more than what they have. You are more of a human than they are. You are precious and you do have potencial. Work on improving yourself spiritually, emotionally and phisically. Even if you are just being. Feel proud of yourself that you are not like them.
my dad was declared certifiably useless by his mom, and she complained about the fact that there wasn't anything to complain about him cuz he got all good grades in school. So my father never learned how to be useful at anything and it was my mom that figured out how stuff was fixed and car stuff and house problem stuff. when he was 22 gramma expected him to know how to carve a turkey even up to that point he wasn't even allowed to touch knives.
Use that energy to prove them wrong by becoming the next Steve Jobs or Jeff besos. Then do you.
Yeah
My family has called me weak. I'm so sorry you're life has been this bad... but maybe.... if you get good moral support.... we can both tough it out together.
Parents: “you can tell me anything..”
Kid: *tells parent deeply personal stuff*
Parents: *tells their friends all that personal business you told them*
Me: *sick*
Mom: clean the whole house in one minute
Me: doesn’t do it
Mom : 😮😤
Also 👊?
You just summarized my whole childhood in one video
Mine too
Same.
same
Nocturno same
pretty much
One time my mom asked for my opinion and then kicked me out of the house and made me walk to school because she didn’t like what I told her.
Elesha Pimentel - I want to laugh but only because my mum did the exact same thing to me. I could smell a trap and hesitated when she asked me for my honest opinion but she repeatedly told me, "no, it's okay. I just want to know what you think". I tell her and I never f***ing hear the end if it. 😂😂🙄
One time I got a bad mark, and my mom kicked me out of the house for several minutes and I wanted to runaway.... But I realized it would be a bad idea, but I think yours is worst
if you don't like someone's answer don't even ask
I was once did not get the first class and my mom told me that I should commit suicide and she would not even care if I did... I was crying the whole night because of that... And when I finally get to the first class she was like suddenly praise me and be sooo nice to me... and when I remind her on what she did say at the past she was just laughing like it was nothing and saying that it was JUST A JOKE...
Well... F@
@@DyingNakama how can someone be like that to their child? I don't get it.
Me: Relaxing for once
Mom: YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING YOUR SO LAZY!!
Me: But I'm the only one that cleans mabye you could help just a little bit.
Mom:I dont have to I'm the mom!! Respect me!!
My mother exactly
HAHAHAHA *RESPECT ME* THAT LINE CRACKS ME UP. My mom once told me, actually always does everytime I bring a valid arguement/hurt feelings "Respect Mama" *Switch blame and topic* "You're friends respect me why not you" "I'm leaving if that is your 'ugali' (attitude in tagalog)" "you are blaming me because you have failing grades"
exactly and then my mom sais to all her friends like why did I have kids obviously for them to help me
My mom: Why does nobody help me in this house I'm the only one that does the cleaning
Me in my head: Ok so did you forget who cleans the dishes,watches the baby, feed the cat, clean living room, and room.
😒😒😒
All these 10 traits perfectly explains my parents... I hope I go to college soon so that I don't suffer anymore😢
It's funny how there are more children watching these than actual parents
parents were children too...
The Mudpit they aren't children now
So who cares. They had the chances and will to change, but they didn't.
really Angell? interesting. At what age should we stop caring about people? Is it 10? 15? 20? 50? 80? At what age do people no longer matter?
The Mudpit I don’t think that matters, what they were trying to point out was that parents are terrible because they wont try to better their actions to the point where their own children are desperate enough to look on youtube for help
The Mudpit Also legally they are no longer children at 18, but for arguments sake in this case lets be generous and say their opinion no longer counts when their first child is born
"You don't talk to me about anything!!!"
Me crying and talking about how my mom destroys me sometimes and how i feel
My mom "you are destroying me!! Not the other way round"
Like .... uhm...no...
She also constantly compares me to my friends and makes awful comments about my grades and future 24/7
Best revenge is bring a box into ur room, fill it some unnecessary things then lock it, threw the keys away. Your mom will spend her entire life thinking about the box😂😂
Yup I get that. When I was younger I was in taekwondo, I constantly got compared to other kids in my class, my parents would taddle on me to my teachers, and I was made to be the bad guy most of the time. It stopped being fun and I ended up quitting for my robotics club in school, a place they didnt have influence. And it killed them, my dad would put me down for being overweight, even though I was thinner then what I am now. Saying that taekwondo made me thinner.
When I was 11 I was supposed to be circumcised but I wasn't ready, so my parents told everyone. In the Philippines if you're not cut by 6th grade you're gonna get bullied
Me and my ma always have that conversation. Everytime i try to communicate how some of her words and actions destroys me, she flips it around and refuse to acknowledge her faults. Heartbreaking asf
Daniella Jade ikr
Two more: appreciate everything I give you, but expect me to get jealous of how good your life is; and push to be the best, but you'll never be good enough.
But by always trying and never being good enough most of us do become very good at what we set our minds to. The hard part is that we still don't feel good enough. My sister told me 30 some years ago "what right have you to be happy"...mom cackling in the background. Hysterical.
@@Chahlie or you just give up
I cant wait to finally live on my own.
My parents always think that they are older so they know better, and they always tell me to open up. But everytime i do they just ridicule me and tells the sensitive information to everyone in my family, and instead of sympathy they just make everything sound like its my fault, when in reality their advice is pratically telling me to be a perfect person.
My mom have this thing where she force me to be more open to her but then the next day THE WHOLE FAMILY KNOWS WHAT IM DEALING WITH, like how did you even-
True
Same I can't trust any one anymore I keep ot in the inside and when I tell my mom that she hurts me she says "I hurt you?no,you abuse me!you are just a selfish child" with my five years of deppression and cutting I don't know if I can take it anymore.
@@bambamishot317 DONT GIVE UP
I'm sorry you have to go through this
Are you me? My mother tells EVERYONE everything!
My life🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Toxic parents need to remember that when they are mean and critical of their children, 40 years later they are old and the child has built their own life which doesn't involve them. And that's just Karma.
Thing is, they don't see their behaviour as mean or critical...
In a way I agree with you, but in another way these parents do sometimes change when they get older or have grandchildren which means they have some level of understanding. I guess you cant ask for more than change whether they know what they've done or not.
That's the thing is we reap what we sow in life and they can't have things both ways.
Bluetabbycat no they don't do they but where there's no sense there's no feeling.
OH YEAH! if I ever have kids (which I SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY DOUBT) they will be warned to avoid "grandpa" as much as possible, save your love and attention for grandma instead, she's amazing, x3
My parents are divorced and I just recently moved in with my dad. It feels like he completely took away my personal life and as an introvert, that is something that has always been very important to me.
Im not allowed to close the door, he goes through my phone, Im always asked to spend time with them and to do things with them that dont interest me (TV etc.) and if i dont, they make me feel bad.
I told them once that I feel very pressured by them (Its rare for me to open up to them) but him and my stepmom started making jokes about it.
They always want me to open up to them but if i do, they let the whole world know without even asking if i would be okay with it.
I feel helpless and all I can do now is just to wait until im old enough to move out.
I feel like ive fell for their trap because they are so different towards me now compared to when i first went to live with them.
Ive always loved my dad but i see him in a different light now and i would be lying if i said that I'm not starting to feel any resentment towards him.
He even has an app on my phone that stops me from going onto any other sites other than news pages, stops me from going onto any social media platform other than youtube and it also shows my live location 24/7.
Ive never snuck out or anything like that so i dont know why.
It took me thirty years to decide my life is better without my parents.. I wish anyone would have told me it was a possibility.. I tried and tried before giving up on them.. I wish I wouldn’t have tried so much as it has wasted my time and they have succeeded in setting me back as far as they could when I ended it.. Family is not what it once was..
So tired of my parents saying my depression is my fault and that I’m such a terrible child... thank you for making a clarifying relatable video... needed it.
(Edit): the amount of positive comments on here is amazing! You all deserve an amazing day for being so thoughtful about others lives... thank you
Alec Lorentus I can relate to that
@@Zaza.88 same
One day you will be free. Concentrate on it!
Alec Lorentus I can relate I got yelled at for trying to better my health and talking ( sharing my opinion)
haha mine keeps saying that i’m not depressed even after i’m diagnosed with it and taking meds for it🤔
I didn't realize growing up that it was abuse, because whenever me and my brother called it that we were "dramatic" and "spoiled" because other kids were more 'disciplined' then us and we had it easy. So as a teenager I did believe that, but I'm 21 years old and I struggled to be emotionally connected or able to understand how to express myself in a correct social way for, literally my entire life. My mom wasn't cut out to be a parent and honestly if you have issues of your own you need to fix them before you bring a child into this world because I'm an adult now and I have no idea how to be a person lol
s Maybe this is a start? I mean, you connected emotionally when you wrote this. And you're aware. I believe that you are on the right track, and I support you! :) Rock on!
Eve Kopsolias thank you ♥♥ that genuinely means so much to hear (:
s You got some example of how not to be a person, from your parent. Thats a good place to start, the fact that you care enough shows you'll do fine though. :3 No ones perfect but trying is important.
i understand you, because of how broken i feel i am, i will never be ready to be a parent myself.
IllisMoreo IllisMoreo it's okay to feel broken sometimes. Remember the days that were good? And the world felt expansive and bright? That world is still there, and it's just in your reach. Don't let bad expirences or feelings limit you ❤❤
When you were saying how it affects kids and I have all of the qualitys 🥺🥺🥺🥺
I haven't even watched the video but just everybody's comments... i feel bad for everyone. everyone's trauma. im like so sorry for everyone... i have toxic parents too. you're not alone ❤
Me: Mom, I'm having trouble making friends and it really makes me sad
Mom: You're too picky
My mom talks about everyone. She always tells people about me, and my personal information
I live with my grandparents and my grandmother does the same thing like when i told her about a girl I like she went and told all her church friends and she has threatened me with punishment if I didn’t start wearing nicer clothes because her church friends don’t like the way I dress even though I dress that why for my anxiety because it helps me to be mentally comfortable
Same
Same here
And even things that she knows I don’t want people knowing about me she tells right to my crushes face
Just tell everyone about your mother *personal* information and if your mother protest just show the recording (you should have the recording of your mother talking about personal information infront of everyone) if your mother deny it then you deny that you talk thing about your mother. It simple. *narcist logic are handled by narcisit logic*
i really cried watching this bc this explained my whole relationship with my mom
I sympathise heavily with people who have parents like this. I’m not gonna say I can relate, because I can’t, but if you have parents like this, know that you are still worth it and that they are the problem, not you.
There is no reasoning with these type of people. Because no matter what, they are always right. They will get downright defensive and snappy even if you try to point out these issues to them. They will make it seem you are delusional and/or ungrateful. Believe me, I know.
Rachael Hill
I know exactly what you mean, Rachael; a few of my friends have parents like this. There will always be people who are "never wrong" and who will try to turn things around to blame you every time. This is very toxic behavior. When parents are like this, it often results in their child - or children - growing up with a very deep-set guilt complex.
I understand that. yesterday, I gave my mom a time that I had to babysit, and I told her the correct time, and she came to me later that day and said I gave her 20 minutes later than the correct time, and when I tried to correct her, she said, and I quote, "You knoe, it's ok for you to be wrong sometimes." well, you know, mom, it's ok for you to shut up sometimes. seriously. I'm wrong no matter what. she's never ever the one wrong, even if she is wrong, she doesn't admit it. I have mental issues, and she won't let me talk to someone about it because she's embarrassed, and when I bring it up, she threatens me.
Hope you eventually get the help you need. I'm sorry you have to deal with a person like that.
100%
My mom used to call me years ago, usually to gripe about my father or beg me for money. We could joke around for about 60 seconds, then suddenly she would take offense to something I said and go all "victim" on me. When I started healing, and stopped putting up with that game, she stopped calling. I think it was the day I said, "If you're not willing to do something to change your situation, then you have no business b****ing about it." She hung up immediately! It was pretty great.
I cried watching this... a reminder how my parents and aunt were really cruel to me growing up.
Hey... But you have to stay strong. Don't end up like the kids in the video. You just have to move on. I punch them internally for you.
Same. But hopefully things are/ will get better!!
I feel your pain. My mother was a bully and exceptionally mean and cruel to me when I was a child. The meanness and manipulation continued into my adulthood until two years ago when I cut her off with absolutely no contact at all. Even though I am estranged from her, she still tries to cause chaos in my life. Playing the victim, she has given my phone number to total strangers and asked them to harass and try to shame me (or guilt) me into having a relationship with her. I've had to have my phone number changed and I still have no desire to return to the toxic relationship I had with her.
same. i didn't even realize right away that i cried
I cried while watching the video too. Also remind me too much of how my parents and other family members were treating me. As much as I moved away and cut all contacts, I can’t deny what they did certainly will have a lifelong impact on me... can’t even think of having a child of my own. I’m scared I’d turn into my parents because that’s all I ever know
Sadly my family is like this, I really wish things will get better for me, I already got a job so I'm going to work hard and get my own place and finally runaway from all the torment
Find yourself a live-in job of some sort- ski resort, fishing lodge, caregiver/companion. You will get away and save some big money. Please do something asap. I'm old and I didn't know how to get away. Take care.
I suffered from tremendous stress as a child when I was in public with my dad. I never knew how he was going to react to other people. He had anger issues and would often get into altercations with other people (never physical, but he would yell, or just make people really uncomfortable). I always felt embarrassed and bad for the other people who most of the time didn't do anything. It was especially scary in the car when he would get road rage, very dangerous situation that I had no control over.
If you have a parent like that, cut them out of your life. Period. Never communicate with them again. As an adult I made the mistake of giving my own toxic parent a second chance, and it ended up being a catastrophic mistake. Save yourself. Get away.
Josh Fredman I will thank you
I agree even if that means moving country (if you can)
I'm at the point now where I'm debating booting my mom out of my life. for years now we've had back-and-forth arguments, and only now am I realizing that most of these had nothing to do with me. all these years of her telling me that I'm a burden, and my achievements are never good enough, I'm now finding that that's just not true. I try telling her how much like literal dirt she's made me feel about myself, and she won't hear a word of it. she always says how it's my fault for being so sensitive, I'm choosing to dwell on things, I'm so ungrateful for all that she's done for me, etc. etc.
yet sometimes she shows that she actually cares about me. she'll apologize to me, crying, telling me how much she loves me. but then it's pretty much back to the same old, same old. I set up an appointment with a counselor and she agreed to go, so I see this as another way of her trying to improve our relationship?
idk I'm just tired of questioning whether she loves me or not. this is long i know but i needed to rant cuz I'm upsetti
Tom Butler moving country yup sounds like my next up plan. I got old relatives in different places here and no i do not feel safe. Im trying to escape for a better life to feel like a human for once and fairly be treated as im being heard and seen for once.
If you're too young to move out, you have a few options:
1) Grit your teeth and bear it until you can move out when you're 18. (That's what I did.)
2) You can potentially move out earlier than that by pursuing emancipation. You would then be on your own, responsible for earning your own living.
3) If you want to pursue the possibility of foster care, keep an impartial log of your abusive parent's behavior. (Don't tell anyone about the log.) Then, when you think you're ready, talk to your counselor or administration at school. Share your log or a copy of it with them. The next step will probably be mandatory counseling with your parent. Maybe that will fix things, but probably not, so the next step after that is to approach child protective services or the police. If you keep raising enough of a fuss for long enough, you may be able to get a different living situation.
None of those options are easy. Stay true to yourself. Try not to let your parent poison your spirit. Good luck.
The only way to stop the Narcissistic abuse is going no contact because Narcissists never change
You are absolutely right. Once I figured it out about my mother....I'd never be emotionally healthy unless I cut that toxic parent out of my life. It hurt, but I'm happy and healthy with my husband now.
Same! It’s self preservation
Amen to that sister. I did it last summer, i should have done it 10 years ago.
But how about your relationship with them especially when they're older? Isn't that also sad that you're cutting ties with your family and live a whole new life without them (no communications and all)?
Juris Immanuel what about when they're older? Should you sacrifice you're own happiness because they're "getting older". If you have anxiety and depression, don't you deserve to be happy? Or are their needs more important than yours?
I'm sorry for all of you who have critical parents. For me personally my parents are pretty strict but I know they love me and try their best to show it. I'm very grateful for them especially at this time when I feel like giving up though I don't share my feelings just knowing my parents are there for me is what keeps me going.😊
Ten traits of toxic parents
WHO RUIN CHILDRENNE LIVES OMG
Most of the time toxic parents don’t know there toxic which is what bothers me
My parents got all 10 traits. What a jackpot!
So lucky ah?
Ikr
lucky boi
You must be living the dream.
Same here. Lucky us 🙄🙃
New title. "My Dad Explained in 10 Minutes."
Amen to that. Same here
Mine too.
JS841 for me it’s my mom
JS841 Me but for my mom. My dad abandoned me :,)
my mom*
I don’t demand to my parents. I don't take money from them. I'm not having in relationship. I even don't talk that much to them. I'm very nice to them. Still they do misbehaved. They yell on me 3/4 hours and 3 times in day. I am dying. What should I do? Even they don’t give me to sleep.
I didn’t have too many problems with my mom growing up but my dad was the complete opposite. No matter how many times he would tell me or my siblings that he wasn’t gonna be like his dad he would end up acting similar to him. I have 8 siblings including myself and I have epilepsy so life was kinda rough for me but my dad made it harder. He had this ‘fear me yet love me’ thing and so much more like ‘be grateful for everything you have’,
I’m an adult now and I still live at home because of my disability and some poor life decisions but my dad never ceases to bring them up as a constant reminder of when I want to move on or do something different in my life and then I’ll get the feeling and fear that I’ll fail again and I’ll stay in the same mental/emotional state I started out on so I stopped bringing up anything new in my life.