"Big Back Behaviour": A deep dive into a weirdly trending stereotype
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
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TIMESTAMPS
0:00 Why Reesa Teesa?
7:34 Big Back Theory
13:42 Big Back Behaviour and Mixed Relationships
17:19 Skinny Big Back Behaviour
23:26 The Problem with Stereotyping Behaviour
RESOURCES | SOURCES | CREDIT
*Most sources are referenced throughout the video
www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulati...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
www.thecut.com/article/reesa-...
www.tiktok.com/@reesamteesa?l...
www.tiktok.com/@michaelalynne...
q=big%20back%20beahvior&t=1710248904429q=big%20back%20beahvior&t=1710248904429
www.tiktok.com/@klagoon/video...
• INTERVIEW with Legion ...
• "Who TF Did I Marry" R...
• Reesa Teesa Speaks Out...
• “I Sit On My Couch and...
FAQ
Q: Why do you pronounce "women" the same as "woman"?
A: I am South African with a particular Queen's English/south of England tinge to my accent. Please be understanding, respectful and don't send me emails or leave comments about this. Thank you :)
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A man once said, "My heart skipped a beat when I saw the split bangs, it was because I knew her before I met her". Quizzical, eh wot?
As a hetero sexual man, we tend to stereotypes that women as having better personalities considering we have to get by on their personality as opposed to looks compared to other women.
Her ex was overwieght as well. How come his lies and manipulation wasnt seen as "big back " behavior. They just wanted to insult HER .
EXACTLY!!!He flashed money because he HAD to, he was a giant Big back dude with bad skin and moobs (man boobs).
She should do a video on mid dudes and their ridiculous behavior.🙄
None other than sexism, and racism
@@HkFinn83pretty sure they are both black?
@@nicole757 I didn’t even notice that, i don’t see color
@@HkFinn83you don’t see racism then either weirdo
This sounds petty, but seeing guys just as (if not more) fat than the women they're making fun of will never not be funny to me
Also that mexican dude with the football shirt should be more concerned over the fact he supports Club America smh
For them, being big associates with masculinity so it's "okay" for a man to be fat but "not okay" for a woman to be fat.
@peachesandcream22 yea and it's so counterintuitive- women have bigger fat cells and need them to be able to give birth and they become bigger from the process...
let's cut the crap nothing says masculine like having zero muscles and a thousand rolls right@@peachesandcream22
It's very similar to a woman working at Starbucks calling men who don't make $100k broke. Or a woman who is 5'3" calling a man who's 5'9" short. Not a gendered problem, just hypocrisy.
Life feels so much more real when you don't have social media
I know right
You hate people way less and spend time more productively, if we spent that time learning a language, exercising, volunteering or investing in our skills and hobbies we would be a smarter and happier society
Moral of the story basically 😭😭 Like who genuinely talks about these trends in real life?
I'm so happy without tiktok and twitter
@@veronica5lmaa I got kicked out of Instagram a week ago, and it did not phase me at all.
Reesa showed us how starved we are for the art of storytelling
Don't translate...
भवतः हृदयस्य धड़कनं कतिपयेषु घण्टेषु स्थगयिष्यति, अस्य शापस्य मुक्तिं प्राप्तुं एकमात्रं मार्गं मम चैनलस्य सदस्यतां कुर्वन्तु
That’s all the argument against AI we need. Leave it to 1 fantastic black woman that had the courage to share her story.. the ripple effect of bold action is felt!
LOLLL fr@@kuritheking
Yes story telling and trauma bonding. Others will try it and will fail because they are not articulate like her.
No literally because i definitely sat through every part 😂
'Big back' theory is really silly. It simplifys normal, complex human relations and feelings to a degrading, oversimplified stereotype.
It’s also glossing over his part in the story, he literally lied, cheated and stole for years on multiple women but it’s their fault?
@@manecooneI think the behavior is her ignoring it/refusing to believe it.
@@larsattack but they completely disregard his part in the equation, and he’s done this since childhood. It has nothing to do with her being fat; some of his exes weren’t even overweight it’s just the strangest cope.
@@manecoonethat’s true. The statement turns the conversation away from him and on to her.
Don't translate...
भवतः हृदयस्य धड़कनं कतिपयेषु घण्टेषु स्थगयिष्यति, अस्य शापस्य मुक्तिं प्राप्तुं एकमात्रं मार्गं मम चैनलस्य सदस्यतां कुर्वन्तु
Isn’t “big back” just a euphemism for fat?
That's what I was thinking! Wtf is going on 😂😂 I gain weight in my butt. What is big ass behavior? JC lol
@@Chic_Kenyou know the world treats fat girls differently from "thick" girls. Big back is directed towards apple shape girls. You're good, you gain fat in the "right places".
Ya, and its funnier to say Depending on what they're talking about.
@@isa-morena because nearly everyone is nicer towards people they find sexually attractive . The point of life is to reproduce and have many kids with someone or people who have the best genes possible (which is denoted to a large degree by their looks) which is why we're naturally nicer to and care more about pretty people. Ugly people do this too btw.
@@lordsneed9418 oh no negating that, our dumb monkey brains are definitely affected by the halo effect. It's just saddening that a huge portion of the population won't question their biological instincts and adjust their behaviors to be less dickish. You don't have to attracted to them to be courteous.
Reesa was just an regular girl who only got excited about fancy houses and cars after Legion offered them and made her think she could have them. She lived in a 2 bedroom condo and drove a Nissan. What she wanted wasn’t “thirsty” or “desperate.” She wanted to meet a nice man and have a life with him. People are so mean.
*edit, 3 bedrooms. She was doing well
Maybe but if he didn’t offer those things at the start would she have stayed. Not easy to answer that now cause she did stay and changed her life completely to suit him. Typically woman do just this with a man they intend to spend the rest of their life with but almost always a year or two later, or at least 6 months. She did it in 2 months and got pregnant too. I find it hard to feel sorry for this woman, she wasn’t abused, she readily participated too early on in reckless behaviour and this is the result and I wouldn’t feel sorry for her if she was skinny. The stereotype remains, even if we don’t like it. I wish her well and I’m pretty sure if no one speaks about her in a months time she will be pretty pissed off cause she plans to make more money from her 15 minutes of fame.
She herself (Reesa) said that she she was desperate
I know. I'm so confused about that shit. She was a well off self made woman who was doing fabulously for herself. She wanted company and intimacy and HE is the one who came in talking about and offering wealth. I think less than 1 out of 100 people, if offered to upgrade their living situation by joining their current funds with that of someone they love would be totally down. They aren't going to turn down someone they like when they find out he has money.
It's just the cherry on top though. Reesa was in it for the whole sundae and is being shamed for accepting the cherry too.
@@Chazzabox1congratulations, you’re blaming someone for having the audacity to believe their partner. Sleep well at night.
I love not having tiktok
I don’t have TikTok either. Saw her story mentioned on instagram, RUclips AND Hulu though
For real
Yep but I might have to see if Reesa has posted the full story on her yt. I can’t believe tt band her from getting her well deserved bag, after sharing all her vulnerabilities with millions of strangers 😡. Tt is 99.9% brain rot from what snippets I’ve seen reposted on here, their ethics are nonexistent.
as soon as something gets a trendy name or "theory" on TikTok, it is followed by a horrible stereotype... TikTok is so good at repackaging shame
It's why I deleted it
That’s why it’s being banned, I support it. I feel bad for the ppl who make money off it . But I hate Tiktok
@@waterwiccaxQuestion, do you use shorts? or Instagram reels by any chance? If so you need to stfu respectfully.
Big Back is giving ED’s are cool again and body positivity is over
muh body positivity
❤@@MK_ULTRA420
Body positivity was never body positive
@@MistyMaize it was better then the 90s we are supposed to keep moving forward
@@prettypuppu.1362no it wasn’t better it’s just as bad… obesity is killing people. The same way anorexia killed people. Neither should be glorified
I never thought Reesa Teesa was desperate for a man because of her weight. It seemed more like she was desperate for her man, because of her religious background, and its so much easier for people to blame her than challenge the guilt, shame, fear, and compliance that a lot of church communities instill in women.
Great point. Never underestimate religion
also the pressure put on women to have children before 30 years old. let’s not act like the desire to have a family didn’t contribute to her slight delusion
@@SapphicSis absolutely. We live in a world where women are constantly being told our value as people diminishes the older we get, and it very much comes from the "biological clock" that society pressures women with.
Yeah religion def played a big role into rushing her into marriage, especially as a woman who felt guilty for being sexually active and living with a man before marriage. Back when I was religious, I would have felt like I had no choice but to marry a man if he got me pregnant (heck, I almost married my bf when I was 19 because I thought I HAD to because he SA'd me). I'm sure getting pregnant before marriage had a huge religious shame factor that pushed marriage.
@@frozenraspberries1552 That's horrific that you felt you had to make it right with a god, before taking care of yourself when you were assaulted. I'm so sorry, and I'm glad you didn't go through with marrying him.
Her story was stranger than fiction which is why it blew up. Her storytelling abilites was the icing on the cake.
My annoyance with this "big back" conversation is it gives the green light for men to treat fat women badly.
And the men are just as fat! Why are they acting like women are so gross at that size but they get a pass??
As if they needed one
Saying that Reesa got "big back" privilage is so laughable, she was wildly criticised with things like "uh how a business man is gonna feel attracted to her" and so on. Crude reality is that if youre a woman you have to explain so many things that a guy will never ever have to explain. And thats it. Truth be told guy looks like crap and she was able to make a flawless audio book out of nowhere.
"Crude reality is that if youre a woman you have to explain so many things that a guy will never ever have to explain."
If you're a man you have to explain so many things that a woman will never ever have to explain. Equality
For all the people who are making the "big back argument" what is your argument for all the "Hollywood model type" celebrities that get cheated on and lied to all the time? 🙄🙄🙄
Like who?
@@SurfsUp993 Like Beyonce, Behati Prinsloo, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Aniston, Jlo, Shakira, Sienna Mueller
@sideshowmob Beyonce is a Hollywood model? You learn something new everyday 😍😍😍
@@SurfsUp993 she's know as one of the most beautiful of our time. But there are other whiter, skinnier ladies on the list, if that's what it's bothering you.
Another fab essay, thank you. As if skinny people dont get duped. Men will never cease to amaze me with the excuses they will come up with to defend each others behaviour and blame women in order to maintain simply the most disfunctional sexual status quo possible. No wonder people ask if the straights are ok. I mean, really, the lengths some mascs will go to are quite fascinating. Quite shameless too. At least we can keep educating women and chipping away, thank you again x
Yep, got cheated on with a woman twice my size. It's rarely ever about the woman, it's on the wrongdoer and their unwillingness to better themselves internally.
Exactlyyyyy 👏👏👏 the narrative is so often about what the person did or didn’t do to “deserve” bad behavior. What she did or didn’t wear, what time she went out, was she desperate or not, skinny or fat, on and on and on - missing the point that regardlessss, this person had wrong done to her!
I was thinking the same thing. All women have insecurities. All women are cheated on and abused regardless of size, education, race or income.
I have so many friends who are skinny and pretty according to the beauty standards who were lied for years, cheated on, some were even robbed by their exes. I guess its their "small back behavior".
Yeah but bigger women are more likely to be cheated on, and are more desperate. My cousin is big and every dude she gets with steal her money, stole her car and just use her for a place to stay. She accepts it because she's big.
It's really too bad some people can't see past Reesa's weight because she's seems like a very smart, contentious woman I'd have a down to earth conversation with.
Yes! She’s articulate, funny, hard working, down to earth and has so many other great attributes. I also found her to be very pretty with great mannerisms. She should be able to attract any man and I see nothing that would devalue her in anyway.
People generally aren't into fat/overweight people, so it's not a shocker.
@@sepulcher8263people are shallow, not shocking at all
A muffin in oatmeal is crazy.
I know right! I thought she was going to tell them how to make oatmeal TASTE like a muffin. 😂 😂😂😂
No it’s actually good, try it at least once before you judge, that’s not crazy she didn’t put mud in it
@@vlogily8043 But I don’t want a soppy oatmeal muffin. I’ll just have a regular muffin 🤷🏽♀️😉
@@niax782 shut up and try it first
I can see it as a good way to make a muffin filling so you only have 1 instead of 3.
I’m so tired of these stereotypes, I know some may have some truth to them, but this one is just outright Disgusting.. the internet is so toxic.
Yeah cause a lot of timestheyjust ascribe very common problems exclusively to a subgroup
It really is sad how quick humans subdivide themselves into groups versus standing together in harmony. The internet is toxic because humans are; I really hate that they can't just listen to the story and be like wow, wild, but instead blame it on her weight...? They're so ignorant lol like I said above, a person could be anorexic and still believe the lies of someone they love. The breakfast club is so tried too bc that man will say anything dumb off cuff when really I have seen men act the same way and get lied to also. Foolish energy all around lol ify social media is a nightmare of confused, negative people.
It’s true tho. Big back behavior is real
*humans are toxic
@@blakeveracruz122 lmaooo 💀🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️your part of the problem
Never heard of "Big back behaviour", wondering if this is symptomatic not only of people being online (on social media) all of the time, but also of modern loneliness - you don't really interact IRL so it's much easier to fall for vast generalizations made by people who are equally online most of the time.
Walking a few hours through any city or town won't lead to these kinds of observations, but when people compile online observations under such headings online you'll see a pattern.
Very true. If you watch enough things back to back to back you’ll start to believe “this is how the world works and this is how people act”
walking would prevent one from being morbidly obease.
@@kreativeforce532why aren't you walking then?
It's a "black/african american" term.
It’s slang for how big black women have back fat. Fat women have back rolls and they’re making fun of it.
This is a great analysis of how fatphobia is closely linked to misogyny, racism and misogynoir.
I'm so glad I don't have social media because it means I miss out on all these dumb "trends" 😂
Don't translate...
भवतः हृदयस्य धड़कनं कतिपयेषु घण्टेषु स्थगयिष्यति, अस्य शापस्य मुक्तिं प्राप्तुं एकमात्रं मार्गं मम चैनलस्य सदस्यतां कुर्वन्तु
Same here. If certain RUclipsrs don't discuss it, we never hear about it ✌️✨
you know youtube is social media, right?
@@BonnatellaRUclips is social media. One of the first and only that have stood the test of time.
the fact that you think youtube isn't social media is hilarious 😭
So many people in these comments missing the issue smh. “Big back behavior” was used against Reesa, and pushes the belief that only overweight women are desperate and easy to manipulate.
If you listened to all parts of her story (I did), she acknowledged red flags she missed or ignored. Why did Charlemagne not say anything about religion - that played a part in her story. Even after realizing Legion was a liar, she discovered he was also cheating, and at that point she was still wondering if that was enough for God to forgive her a divorce… He could’ve also spoken about societal expectations of women to marry/have kids, that also causes desperation for many women to be in a relationship. But no. He chalked all the issues up to her being fat. 😐
Lastly, my anecdotal observations. I’ve seen literally all kinds of women that are used to dealing with bs from men. Women of all races, body types, religions, self-esteem levels. There are just so many layers involved, and no, “unbigging” your back won’t magically fix low self-esteem, desperation, lying ass men, etc lol.
Omg, you look so beautiful in this video! Purple suits you very well! And those parted bangs, a great look.
Don't translate...
भवतः हृदयस्य धड़कनं कतिपयेषु घण्टेषु स्थगयिष्यति, अस्य शापस्य मुक्तिं प्राप्तुं एकमात्रं मार्गं मम चैनलस्य सदस्यतां कुर्वन्तु
and shes so fit. its lovely
Those Breakfast Club clips made me so mad. They're so pressed that they can't objectify conveniently unattractive as a second choice.
Legion was HUGE before his illness made him smaller, idk why there’s a double standard
What do you mean?
@@totallythandi2555fat
It’s because women disproportionately criticized for their weight. It’s to the point that you’ll even see obese men criticize obese women for their weight and their supposed unattractiveness
And a broke liar 😂😂 I don’t know why he and all delusional men aren’t the trending topic
We all know why. Women are more harshly judged by looks , unfortunately 😔
Charlamagne doesn't like women. And that's fine, but why so rude? Wow...
This is your best commentary I've watched so far. I wish people would understand that this is not just a fat person's issue but a people issue. We're all out here looking for love, looking for companionship. People are so focused on her weight that they can't see the bigger issue. And I hate the phrase big back behavior. It's this focus that distracts from the bigger problem.
We've all known a pretty girl that got fucked over. We're all drowning here. You're so right.
I think we need to take a step back to realize that the internet is a lot bigger than our experience of it. I feel like Tiktok is the only platform where users constantly feel like their "tiktok experience" is the whole worlds'. I've never heard of this person but to people so non-chalantly claim "you probably have seen x everywhere" and then refer to someone from their Tiktok feed is alarming. No other platform changes your perspective and makes the world view this small. This something worth considering - your tiktok world is a lot smaller than your youtube world, your Instagram world etc. It's by design and you will have to actively fight against it
In Reesa Teesa’s case, it’s actually warranted. One of her 50 part series has 36 million views and she’s been interviewed by multiple mainstream outlets.
Just because you missed out on a mega-viral moment, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
it's definitely warranted in this case. I have never used tik tok in my life, but I've heard plenty about this series.
This why I couldn't stand tiktok when it first blew up, the search function is useless and the for you page is just garbage. Yeah it's cool watching 2 or 3 shorts of somebody painting, crafting, whatever. But it gets old fast. And then if you don't pause the video before it ends the app will jumpscare you with the most disturbing and confusing content you have ever seen. I cannot understand what people get out of this experience..
@@biguattipoptropica this is a common misconception. Due to how people have perceived "views" before Tiktok, they assume it works the same way and carries the same weight on it. When in reality, views are perhaps the LEAST meaningful metric to gauge platform penetration on Tiktok.
My statements before weren't made out of opinion. If you understand how the Tiktok algorithm works and what/how tiktok "qualifies" their views, its not surprising that there are MANY MANY people with millions of views but aren't actually saturated across the paltform. Thats not how Tiktok inherently works... There is a reason why there are walled gardens around everything library-tok, craft-tok, running-tok etc. The presumption that virality within those gardens = virality across the platform is a false presumtion.
The real litmus test is when they try to reflect that "fame"/virality in the real world - and that is very easily apparent.
@@acdc2468 Her virality has been reflected in the real world -- she was profiled by the Washington Post, USA Today, the Rolling Stone, the New York Post, and Time Magazine, and has appeared on Good Morning America, the Tamron Hall Show, and many other mainstream media outlets. While I generally agree that everyone's for you page is different, it's dishonest to claim that something can't be viral just because you weren't aware of it. Yes, not everyone is aware of everything and this may not have reached everyone's for you pages -- those people are out of the loop and missed a viral moment. For example, it would be ridiculous to claim that Gangnam Style wasn't a viral hit in 2012 just because some people didn't have the video recommended to them by the RUclips algorithm and missed it. People missing things doesn't negate their popularity. It's okay to be out of the loop.
I see this in the Black community as this video describes, but this also reminds me of the "Big Blonde Barbie/Miss Piggy/Trisha Paytays" stereotype. Especially talking of the external hyper femininity to compensate for a supposed lack of natural femininity.
the people who say its her fault that she wanted to believe it are the same people who are mad if someone questions their word and brand it as disloyalty
Did they just show a pic of Michael B Jordan for an example of a "nerdy" guy...??? 🤣🤣🤣 De-lusion-al!!!
A nerd is not based on looks, some of the hottest guys I've known or been with have been nerds.
Nah he’s a nerd that figured out he could “level up”
He admitted himself he's a nerd lol...he likes anime and stuff lol
As a fat, white Canadian woman this is the first time Im hearing about this stereotype. This is so diagusting 😭
i totally agree with your point in the beginning that we're growing tired of fiction and people are craving real-life stories, but i cant help but notice that it's the same pendulum that made us get sick of reality TV and crave fiction in the first place 😭 and that same boredom with fiction led us to making reality TV in the 2000s lmao so i think humans are always going to swing back and forth between wanting fiction and wanting nonfiction until the end of time
edit: typo :|
Don't translate...
भवतः हृदयस्य धड़कनं कतिपयेषु घण्टेषु स्थगयिष्यति, अस्य शापस्य मुक्तिं प्राप्तुं एकमात्रं मार्गं मम चैनलस्य सदस्यतां कुर्वन्तु
I think there can easily be a happy medium. Think of fictional shows like fleabag, ramy or even skins, with phenomenal storytelling and characters who look like everyday people
What we need is a good balance of both.
It's so frustrating, because Legion lied about EVERYTHING. What normal person would expect someone to lie every time they open their mouth? Men and women putting Ressa down just to make excuses for Legion's actions. Ressa opened up and was very clear with her own mistakes, but she's the victim of marital abuse. All these creators attacking her make me sick, so I'm glad you made this video and remind people what critical thinking is. ❤
She in not a victim. In a live Q&A she was asked why she was so desperate and she said because her biological clock was ticking. She caught him in multiple lies during her pregnancy and after and STILL married him because she had few options. She willing put herself in that situation just to say she had a husband… and admitted as much. I love how people like you are defending her when she herself said she was wrong.
Had to pause at 13:20 because the misogyny is just off the charts. So so SO SO SO DISGUSTING.
"Vile Man Behaviour" should be the next trend.
At 20:56 this sounds like a bulimic thing. Coming from a former bulimic in my teenage years. Something common we do is binge eat and regurgitate it all later when nobody will notice. Then we can turn around and say "see I can eat anything and never gain weight!" It's like a confidence boost, because people with eating disorders typically have very bad self esteem to begin with.
Reesa needed to tell her story to us women. I am glad she saw her accountability in the situation, it shows growth. Well done to her for telling her story
Oh my gosh, can’t a woman get scammed in peace!?!? What the hell?
Porsha from RHOA has a baby with a new boyfriend, got cheated on, then took her friends husband, married him quick as hell…and divorced him months later and then signed back up for a show she publicly said she was too good for back when she thought she had a hussssssband. So what behavior is that?
Unhealthy behavior
Her mentality is cooked, give her the courtesy of looking away😔
Da Biggest “big back” behavior 😆🤣
@@copiouscatlmfao!! 🤣😂
She's a pick me who got dumped.
Another great commentary. Ressa's story was much needed. Probably why so many gravitated towards and sympathized with her. She was vulnerable and accountable when recounting her story. Wish her much success in the future. Big Back Behavior is yet another label men want to throw out to create insecurity in women. Finally, I watched Saggi's videos as well. My goal was to understand a little bit more about her world. She too was tough in order to survive criticism and men that weren't really ready to commit but used her. But, when she came home, crashed on her couch, called out to her bunny, and snuggled with him, my heart really went out to her.
It hurts as a bystander to see this woman pour her heart out while taking accountability for herself and seeing everyone dog pile on her, clown her looks, and call her desperate when she'd already acknowledged that. We've all made dating mistakes but jesus why do we want to crucify unconventional women so badly?
@@isa-morena Probably cuz social media and media in general love to use conventionally attractive people for all their products. It's pushed onto us so much that we forget that it barely emulates real life and real people.
I've seenm9stly women use the term "big back behaviour"
@@s0ne01 Most "Male Identified" women's channels would use that term to appease their male audience. Women going after other women have no idea how toxic and destructive that can be.
It’s blatant fatphobia.
Anti-fatness etc
Not even body positive, but I 100 percent agree. There’s always such resistance to expressing attraction to bigger people, it always has to be cryptic. It’s disappointing to see people fall for this trend
Maybe the TikTok big back trend is a bulimia dog whistle.
Thin is coming back in
@@zaesrvnge9584did it ever leave?
Except forthe “slim thick” trend being skinny is kind of more acceptable than big.
Not Charlemagne the GRAPIST having anything to say about anybody!
Being thin does not negate the fact that youre eating unhealthy amounts and types of food. Eateing 20 hashbrowns is unhealthy whether youre 200 pounds or 120 pounds. Its never about health it about aesthetics. Also "theres always a guy for you, hes out there" but then blaming womens weight for falling for a guy who was nice to them in the start? Like what does that even mean. It pushes a "too good to be true you fell for it" "women like you should be with the guy thats mean to you then you know its real"
Dude you are fabulously researched on topics you cover.
This whole thing is very funny to me. I don't have TikTok, but have heard about this 8h long story. I think it's extremely odd that people are dissatisfied with Hollywood so their solution is to turn to TikTok. I'm an avid reader of fiction and if people long for raw, real, nuanced stories that focus on various perspectives, pick up a book! I can provide recommendations. As for this "big back" trend, how is this different from being fat? I'm very glad I'm not on social media and don't expose myself to this mind numbing BS because even just watching those selected tiktoks makes me feel so icky and gross inside. The perspectives that seem to dominate on TikTok seem consistently dehumanizing and shallow. I appreciate all the work you put into your videos, Kid, because I feel like I'd get into a major slump listening to this Charlemain podcast and watching big back tiktoks..
Big back refers to apple shaped women. It seems to be the most hated body type.
Most last about a week until they circulate peak and then die out.
I don't do tiktok either but yeah I'd rather watch this woman's TV show season long story than watch stuff coming out Hollywood rn. Very limited new stuff that I do like and even those tend to get ruined with the bad writers, overuse of CGI, and the general holier than thou "woke" mentality. Bollywood / foreign films and indie movies are where its at rn visual media wise. That's what I watch the most. Love reading non-fiction books and autobiographies, too. And I'm still Gen Z being on the older end, but I haven't had a meaningful conversation with anybody remotely close to my age in so long. Feels like walking among zombies. People my age will straight up cut me off or walk away while I'm talking. Like we got zero attention span and zero manners at that.
Big back is a synonym for fat. It's not different from it. People who are users of the internet have to find different ways of saying things due to severe censorship.
I think a lot of people do consume these types of stories while doing something else like cleaning or cooking just as something that can be played in the background. I myself find video essays and stories a lot easier to listen to while I am doing stuff around the house. I reserve audio books for times when I am commuting or walking.
Once again I’m glad that I don’t have tiktok so that I don’t know what any of these stupid trends are unless kidology tells me about them
Nah fr😭😭😭😭
Honestly i think id rather just be called "fat" than "big back" after watching all the damn connotations that comes with big back
I'm always amazed by your genuine empathy for people, it's a very rare quality in today's tribalistic world where we are expected to take a us vs them mentality constantly. Good job, your voice is very necessary and you're a very special and unique person
Her story was relateable because we know people will come after her “choices” but we know it’s more complicated than that; individually we’ve experienced aspects of her story in our own lives but don’t admit because the collective will say it’s our fault anyway. Nonetheless whether we talk about it or not, it doesn’t change the damage it’s done and we champion her because she was brave enough to be vulnerable
as a chubby kid and a fat young woman, i remember hyper femininity like a cold and distant aunt but now that I’ve trended towards messy femme and sporty femme it’s a lot more comfortable and a lot more me.
Never heard of her or BBB until this video. Don't have Clock Noise on my phone.
When slim girls post “big back” whatever. It’s basically a not so humble brag. It’s stupid and embarrassing.
When it comes to the way all those "podcast bros" think, women really can't win. You got betrayed or hurt by a man? Oh, you're too thirsty, too desperate, why didn't you "wait" for the right man... You're single because you keep meeting the "wrong" men? Oh, be more "humble", you're unrealistic, your standards are too high... The one thing they will NEVER do is call out those nasty men.
It's not just victim blaming, it's another hallmark of all forms of oppression; divide and conquer. Those who designed Apartheid did this explicitly; they created 'The Bantustans', ten distinct territories created in South Africa for different "ethnic groups" of color. If the white minority could separate the black majority into arbitrary groups in competition with each other, they could cause infighting and finger pointing between the oppressed class and take the focus off the oppressor. And it was highly effective for a long time in South Africa.
And thus it is with women. The narrative becomes 'big backs' versus 'curvy' versus 'skinny' versus 'natural' versus 'plastic surgery' etc, etc, etc. instead of just women versus misogyny.
I love that you follow and mentioned Sag Shawty. I've been following her since her pink hair days and she is the epitome of unbothered and living her best life. She's so funny and real and that's why she has 100k subs
Every week you continue to vindicate my decision to never download TikTok
Some of the comments the men made make want to gag like a cat coughing up a particularly heinous hairball.
I appreciate unpacking just more abusive labeling of, primarily, women. This was just another way to demoralize and diminish women. The *average* American is medically identified as overweight. However, there still is real monetary value in demonizing and ridiculing larger women.
"Big Back Behaviour" in very thin women is just another version of muckbang and is all for money. It gets views, and they've named it something new and trending.
I'm glad I found this channel because it provides a long-form discussion that unpacks how society, through the tool of social media, has become addicted to finding a way to vilify people (and it feels like primary women) who are the victims of some level of abuse or do not have the thin young form that society worships.
Reesa is not the first, nor will she be the last person who, within the practice of their faith, makes personal decisions that negatively affect their present and future well-being.
Firstly...I love your voice so very much. The way you say "big back " is so eloquent.😂😂
Now, you gotta love how the internet works. As with Kat Williams, everyone is creating content on the backs(lol) of other people. It's amazing how much entertainment has been made from someone else's situation.
NOT CHANTAL AND BIBI!!! LMAO!!! i cannot escape Gorl world!!😂😂😂😂
There is clear link between being vulnerable in some way (due to low self esteem, past trauma, youth, financial instability, lack of support system, etc) and being more susceptible to ab*se. Being fat does not equate to vulnerability but if someone happens to have low self esteem due to their weight, then sure. I married an ab*s*ve man when I was at my thinnest, I was vulnerable due to being so young and past trauma. Now I’m divorced and happen to be bigger (PCOS), but I’m also older and have been in therapy since my divorce. My self esteem is much higher, I have the wisdom to spot red flags, I have a better support system, so I’m not nearly as vulnerable as I was then. “Big back theory” is just a way to demean fat women and severely oversimplify ab*se.
A whole video about big back theory is crazy.
Me watching the whole thing is even crazier.
Big back is the same as other online terms that get popular like, karen, white girl wasted, or incel. They are typically racially charged and gender specific though people will bend over backwards to say it just describes a behavior and can apply to anyone.
are you actually making the argument right now that big back behavior, is racist..lol
Why did they demonitize her?? I'm so tired of tiktok. Those are NETWORK television numbers. And she made nothing? Nothing in it was that insane to my knowledge?
I'm not gonna lie, this was depressing to watch. I am aware of snippets of this but to be informed of it all together was a lot. My gripe about their fashion is that the clothing shops don't stock flattering clothing in their size. It may have to cost more but they don't even try. They buy what fits. I really hate this because I am a large in certain shops and I have a 31 inch waist. How small are the other shoppers?! I hate "designer" clothing lines for this and more.
I know what you mean. I'm 5'9" , 30-31 waist, and wear a large. What is XL? I don't understand sizing either.
whenever i see tiktoks about this it makes me so uncomfortable
It doesn't matter what the woman looks like, just because she's a woman these people want to judge and call her a gold digger, act like she only fell for him and was abused because... Of her weight? Her perfectly fine looks? (Idk I didn't see nothing wrong with her. Give her a Hollywood makeover and she's be as ready for a runway as any of them. There was several fat celebs.) And yes, if she was light and thin they'd still be talking, but some women would be joining in with the meanness.
The woman who was the last victim of that dude called Dirty John was a white, slender and curvy milf-type and people were extremely mean to her. Her story was very similar to Reesa's but with a violent ending and grown kids involved. guess what? There reddit/forum threads, comments, and posts where she is called greedy and stupid and a gold digger even though she was successful too. But there's a difference.
Because Debra Newell is a white woman it's pretty much only women shaming her for falling for a seasoned conman, a man who just like Legion had used and abused several women before. With Reesa, every black man feels the need to open his mouth and insert his opinion as fact into a story that he was not a part of and only knows as much of as he was told. It is terrible and they should be ashamed. Victim blaming does nothing but empower the abuser and perpetuate the continuation of abuse. It's truly sick, in my opinion, that so many black men act like it would kill them to support us.
I'm sorry, but I agree with the comment stating if Reesa Teesa fit the beauty standard (slim & pretty) she wouldn't have received as much love or empathy from other women. I've observed this in real life and online. Conventionally attractive women online are not as championed as their unconventionally attractive counterparts (sorry if this sounds bad). For example, while a pretty and slim influencer might get a lot of views, saves, and shares on a bikini pic by women who secretly admire them... they don't get nearly as many comments championing their figure as I've seen in plus-sized influencer comments. From my observation, many women are comfortable giving out compliments with the stipulation that they're not threatened by that particular woman's beauty. Again, this is MY observation. Please don't come for me.
One of the cons of pretty privilege. Since those women are pretty, others don't believe they're able to go through hardships or be abused because of their looks. They are the prize, so how can they be treated poorly?
And if they have proof of the abuse, they are still brushed off because they can just move onto the next man. Women have a hard time realizing that just because you get a lot of attention does not mean it's quality attention. And just because a woman has pretty privilege doesn't mean they have a quality life.
From what I hear from really pretty women is that yes there is a lot of perks, and if they're smart, they'll use it to their advantage. But at the same time, they have a hard time making friends, finding a good partner, and having a constant fear of one day being older and losing all they have.
I think people mostly compliment people who are more relatable to them. The average woman is curvier than the beauty standard
I think most people connect better to an ‘overcomer’, someone fighting against all odds ( eg society’s negative perceptions of them)..
Also SOME conventionally attractive girls can be a bit boring , tending not to develop other attributes as they can get by on their looks.
As someone who has always been unconventional, hell even downright ugly, I relate more to the other unconventional women. I guess I've always seen conventionally attractive women receive praise and perks (although I know these are conditional). I just want women like me to feel a percentage of that hype after being made to feel unattractive, unnoticed, and unwanted. I will admit to my bias of avoiding conventionally attractive people wherever possible.
I was gonna add a comment about the threat/competition element but you beat me to it
She believed him simply because you are supposed to trust your partner, thats litterally the first rule of the relationship. No one expects to be lied to, especially from the people who say they love us.
I agree but…it wasn’t love….they knew each other for two weeks before they started living together. She def should have been more cautious (ofc not trying to victim blame tho)
@@pussydestroyer69285 fair
Great wrap up at the end, could kind of hear you saying it through the whole video. Once again, captivated for half an hour about a topic i never gave 30 seconds thought to. Brilliant, as they say over there.
Ok You look absolutely stunning - the hair, the sweater. You always look gorgeous, but you are beaming in this video. Also of course fantastic take as always - you always have something a little different and very interesting to add to the conversation.
The BBB is about stress, depression all with the help of cortisol.
By the way, have we collectively looked at legion and that ilk. THEY TOO ARE BBB 😂😂😂. POT CALLING KETTLE...😂😂😂
an aside: very much appreciated the blurring of the other persons in the gym.
I think reducing someone's behavior to someone's outward appearance is actually insane considering it's what us black folk and other POC have been fighting for hundreds of years. Giving abusers MORE excuses to behave the way they do and get away with it is simply irresponsible and abhorrent. Models, actors, directors, richest most beautiful people on the face of this earth have the ability to be abusive and abused. I am fat and I have been abused all my life, born into abuse when I wasn't fat I was a child. Charlemane is simply GIDDY to be able to be fat phobic again with the rise of "BBB", everyone is. Skinny girls are adopting it - because well they ALWAYS have. "Do I look fat in this?" was something that has been in their repertoire for decades. This is the back swing of the pendulum to put fat people back in their place after we started to have confidence and being unafraid to be comfortable being a human being. It's disgusting really - was Christian Obumseli displaying BBB for accepting abuse from someone he loved when he was killed? It's actual insanity to even let that thought cross your mind as a living breathing human being in 2024.
I didn't know about any of this, but you made it very interesting and thought-provoking. Great video, as usual!
In videos like this, you're my window into a world I'm completely okay staying ignorant about...
I think it’s important to also recognize that there are patterns in human behavior. Is it really that bad to warn people that if you’re having a hard time finding a partner, you are more likely to put up with bad behavior? There are nicer and meaner ways to say it, of course, but we shouldn’t demonize the very idea that talking about patterns of human behavior are bad.
“big back behavior” is eerily similar to “fat behavior” which is a popular term on edtwt,,,
I always assumed this was the meaning of it, and looking further into it, this trend does unfortunately seem to dominantly target larger women. It’s not just gross- it’s profoundly stupid. If somebody I knew said something like this I’d probably start drifting away from them
You genuinely make some of the most interesting content on the platform rn.
why'd you have to put the female ben shapiro on? ;_; jumpscare
What I find awful about the BBB stereotype is that it gives no solution to the problems someone who embodies this. It just blames the person who wants love but doesn't know she deserves better and can, mocks, deflects from the real issue: health and self esteem. It never questions why are these people overeating? Why do they have low self esteem? etc etc
I started listening with a bunch of eye rolls but I’m happy I LISTENED and finished the video. Thank you for the change in perspective. Great video!
You always seem to lead with empathy, and I hope you always will.
First and foremost, your voice is very therapeutic second your vocabulary is very rich and the most important thing this is a great video keep it up!!!
I really love the kdrama My Liberation Notes. It’s so slow and just the slice of life needed if you want to take a break from the typical Netflix series.
What I find funny about Charlamagne's mockery of big backs is that this man is 5 foot 6. Let that sink in...
You can’t change your height, you can change your weight
Weight can be changed, height can’t…. Also nothing wrong with being “short.” However, being fat isn’t healthy and leads to future health complications that can be and will shorten your lifespan.
You keep surprising me, Kid. This video was so good. Keep up the good work!
This is a video I needed to see today. Thank you for doing what you do.
this is the first video i’ve seen by you and it was incredible. very well put! especially the last bit about how stereotypes are simply the easy way to explain things that are deeply complex and nuanced. definitely earned a subscriber 🤍
Reducing the virality of Reesa Teesa’s 7 hour saga to “big back behavior” is pretty lazy. Most people aren’t going to watch a 7 hour saga to make fun of someone, they watch it because they were enthralled by the story.
Just look around, dating is a mess, especially in the digital age. People of all races and sizes lament their dating woes online and many people, myself included, could relate to her story.
Shes also a phenomenal storyteller, I didn’t expect to watch the whole thing and when I started the time flew by so quickly lol.
thank you raycon for giving us kidology gym content
It was deeply refreshing to hear someone cover this with compassion. Immediately subscribe ❤
you look so pretty today kidology! love ur content as always
OMG IM SO EARLYYYYY THE QUEEN HAS POSTED
I love Sagii, two of my worlds are coming together!! I found Sagii so interesting from her train video and stayed with her journey because I wanted to know her truer self. She's much more complex beyond her sexcapades. This was such a well done video. Big Back behavior is such a strange trend.
I always look forward to your videos Kidology !
LOVE your deep dives, thank you so much for sharing your intellect. 🙂
oh nooo i thought big back behavior was just a joke among girls for when we want to eat a bunch of food all at once, like eating a whole pint of ice cream or a whole pizza. I didn’t know it was being used as a genuine insult):
I thght it meant like a girl who thinks she can get away w. Things cus she got a uh...big..lower back...