A deep dive into why everybody hates modern women
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- Опубликовано: 10 июн 2024
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0:00 Salutations
0:33 “Shakshouka Girl”
3:25 Thank you to Babbel!
7:44 Society hates young, single (and childless) women | The Instagram-ification of Children and Motherhood
20:27 The Long, Common History of Childlessness
34:10 They Don’t Care About You!
41:54 The Conservative Woman Social Commentator
52:31 Getting Real (Conclusion)
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- SOURCES -
[Sources and credits are referenced throughout the video]
→ Women's Work, Family Formation, and Reproduction among Caribbean Slaves by Marietta Morrissey (www.jstor.org/stable/40241031)
→ Late Nineteenth-And Early Twentieth-Century Childlessness by S. Philip Morgan (www.jstor.org/stable/2781784)
→ Single women in early modern England: attitudes and expectations by Christine Peters (www.cambridge.org/core/journa...)
→ The Household and the Making of History by Mary S. Hartman
→ The Long History of a Woman Unencumbered With Children: Peggy O’Donnell Heffington on Going Against the Biological Imperative by Peggy O'Donnell Heffington (lithub.com/the-long-history-o...)
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Its all fun and games until Zee says Salutations
I would just like to say, on behalf of all sane and common sense holding, moderate Samantha’s, we don’t claim Samantha D 😂
@@sammierose1150 we'll claim her (the redpill community)
This is absolutely excellent.
If you go to Portugal speaking Brazilian you're gonna get clowned. Best way to learn the language is to stay there; everyone knows english and they love it when people are interested in learning it. They will help you with that. Also Sintra is overrated unless you're into Disney movies. You should explore other parts of the country, might change your mind. Enjoying the content, cheers.
Just because you have a family doesn't mean you understand the value of having said family. As a teacher, I see throw away teens every single day.
True however you don’t discover a families value by not participating in having one and then coping
@@TheMightyWalkyou can participate in families and know their value without having your own
@@TheMightyWalkyou also don’t learn a family’s value by having one pop into your lap and just going with it cause it’s there, which is what many people do. I’m also a teacher and also see throw away teens all the time 😢
@@TheMightyWalkyou don't need kids to have a family. Having kids isn't for everyone
Indeed Didn't that lady just literally throw out her 5 year old and she was raped and killed?
Candace Ownes went back to work on her podcast 3 weeks after the birth of her child while preaching about women staying at home
She also probably has nannies and tons of help.
She also held off on motherhood and marriage until she was well established in her career...lets be honsest she would have never married into a prominent British family if she was a normal girl who stayed at home.
Hypocrite she is why I never listen to her
Yeah, but for a chick, yakking is not work. NOT yakking is work.
@@redmaple1982she had her first kid at 32 and is working nonstop while being pregnant instead of staying home and I taking care of her infant baby. She makes millions and is the most opinionated woman out there. Yet, she hates feminism 😂😂 she's the queen of grifters
The same people who will absolutely wail on women for being "expired" and "too picky" if they are not married by 30 will blame women trapped in abusive relationships for not "choosing better"
Totally, and they fr deserve it too. I get much worse as a man
@bobdole6691 victim mentality
@@bobdole6691 no you don't have it worse, you have priviledge, you have to work harder at this, you only think you have it worse but you have no idea what other people are going through just to make ends meet.
They put all the weight of relationships on women, they tell women marriage/kids is the biggest testament of their lives and yet get mad when women are reasonably hesitate and more picky.
@@dreamylovee7993 What privilege?
I saw my sister giving birth to twins. eh safe to say ...she was not allowed to get tired. I was like WOW and maybe I don't want do this now, those first 2 months were hell. one baby was underweight. There was no room for I'm tired. she would have me sleep with one because they woke each other up at night. 3am and baby wants a hug, you wake up, and hug baby for an hour, never allowed to be tired or angry because you have work at 7am. I understand these women. being a mom is not for everyone
You are talking like saying being a mother is not for everyone is a profound original thing when all adults understand that. We need to talk more about how nobody is having children and that is leading to a shrinking and aging population which messes up every corner of society
@@minabotieso6944 but that depends on more than just social factors, even if childfree people started wanting children that doesn't erase the economic factors like low wages that younger people get, the long work schedules, the high cost of rent and childcare, on maintaining a family when even two income households are starting to not be able to get by the month
Also no, not everyone seems to understand that parenting is not everyone's taste, you have mant conservative figures spewing propaganda and stereotypes about childfree people and such, that pretty much weakens you point tbh
Historically, having children had a return on investment that paid off at some point. Ie, people would have their kids work on the farm, or send their children to work in the factories to contribute to the household. Modern society did away with all that, and now children don't start earning money until precisely the point at which they often leave the family, until they are 18. This is an unsustainable economic model, and well... The results are in. And those results are plunging birth rates.
@@minabotieso6944lol what are you talking about. TONS of adults believe that motherhood is for everyone. They assume that all women will just figure things out and eventually learn to love children so they keep pressuring women whether women actually want kids or not.
@@minabotieso6944there is no population crisis. We are still plodding our way towards 9 billion people. There is a rent crisis, wage crisis, healthcare crisis, childcare crisis, and environmental crisis. People who say oh no we need to pop out more kids are either: not well informed and unaware of real issues people are facing, saying there are “not enough babies that *look like me*” (ahem), or they simply want women to “stay in line.” Also, all of the people who want women to have kids like no tomorrow don’t seem to care that just the singular act of having a kid costs tens of thousands of dollars. They don’t care that wages can’t keep a single person afloat let alone a family. Vast swaths of the population don’t have healthcare. College is getting more and more unattainable. So..what? Doom everyone involved to working minimum wage jobs, struggling, starving, wasting their life?
The fact that Candance “hates” modern women while being the epitome of a modern woman is just hilarious!!!
If she was really traditional, she would let go of her career and go raise her babies, and pop a couple more .
Exactly, she's not a housewife. Shes a married working modern woman. 😂
Just imagine its not really about being a housewife or not its about a political ideology. She is fascist and promotes facist ideas just like a regular fascist. Doesnt matter that she contradicts herself, she is a propaganda machine.
She is another grifter, appeasing the people that give her that cheque.
WHy the hate on Candence Owens shes black thats racist isnt it, or would she be fine in your books if she was advocating for trans rights.
@@ryans1623 If I was “hating” on her because she’s black then yes it would be racist.
But that’s not even remotely the point of my comment. I’m pointing out her sheer hypocrisy of spewing hate on the very things she clearly also practices.
My godmother, who was fond of little pearls of wisdom, gave me this one once:
“There are worse things than being single - like wishing you were.”
So true.
Candace criticizing modern woman for not staying home baking pies while she's the ultimate "girlboss".
That Anyone at all doesn’t see this dichotomy in her is amazing to me.
Tweeting and Running a TV show, and talking politics isn't girlboss. Her job allows her plenty of freetime and she engages in family activities. Girlboss is being 9 to 5 corporate slave who goes home to any empty house and while.
@@drystkrab269 she does more than 9-5. You must be a fool to think she has way more free time
@@drystkrab269 The name Girlboss implies being your own boss...................... Being a corporate slave is not girlbossing
@@heyhey439 no it means being successful in a job/career in defiance of the patriarchal world, and business and corporate world are particular examples becoz they are seen as male dominated. Plenty of women refer to themselves and others as girlboss simply becoz they're successful in a given filed regardless of them being a boss or not. How many women get called girlboss doesn't match how many actual bosses or self employed women there are.
It's always comedic to see grown, middle-aged men whine about younger women "doing nothing with their lives" when they're just enjoying life. Meanwhile, the manchild spends all his time whining on social media. Very mature and not depressing at all.
Men are bitter when women don’t care about them. Men are OBSESSED with women!
these people are calling out men who do this, too
Did you just say doing nothing but enjoying your life, well that comment didn't age too well.😂😂😂
To be honest if you spent 2 days just watching TV then that time could've been spent better in my honest opinion however we can't assume that's what she does most of tbe time, I mean her making that specific TikTok in that specific timeframe would suggest its an irregular experience and just for a break, however I do think that saying she can only have said freedom because she has no children is absurd, she has that freedom because evidently she's middle class.
You mean like women cry about passport bros or lack of eligible bachelors. My moms 43 yo friend from work is now bouncing from one fertility clinic to another. Really happy life awaits her I guess?
It's weird constantly hearing in the States how "women expire by 30" from single, childless men in their 40s and over, when in my family going back generations, people typically didn't marry until after 30. My parents are from Ireland, and on average, they tend to marry later than Americans--they also have some of the lowest divorce rates in the world. Incidentally, my parents didn't marry until 36, my gran didn't marry till 39, and my great-grandmother didn't marry till 32. All happily married, great relationships with their kids, and never been inside of a nursing home. A lot of these redpillers are in for the very future they condemn other, happier people to.
interesting to hear this whole new perspective regarding the age of marriage! Thank you so much for sharing your experience, sending lots of love to your family.
No-fault divorce has been a scourge on American families for generations, by now.
@@kayceetaylor2151Neoliberal capitalism has been a scourge etc for years now ...
Its hilarious when modern women like you try to normalize the exception as if its the norm lol delusion is real
That's so interesting... My parents who got married in their early 20s (22 and 25)? Divorced. My grandparents who got married in their early 20s (21 and 23)? Divorced. My great-great-grandparents who had children while still being children themselves (15 and 17)? Not divorced, but he returned to the country he had emigrated from and never came back. Whereas my great-grandparents who got married in their 30s stayed together. It's almost like the youngest and least experienced you are when you make big life decisions, the most likely those are to not work out
My mother had three children by the age of 26, she's now spent her life being used and abused and thrown away by every man she's served hand and foot. She is an inspiring example for me to never waste my life serving a man who will turn on me in a second! Never do 'wife duties' for a boyfriend, and stop continuing the bloodlines of these bummy non committal men!
I'm so thankful that social media exists. I'm 20 and never had a bf, I refuse to navigate my life serving a man not after what I've seen their true nature on social media. And the idea of kids is a big no for real
Funny. I used to cook and clean my ex-girlfriend's apartment even though she still lived with her mother. I would also pay for a lot of her stuff, and I still got cheated on. But I guess you will say that I'm a monster or a loser for doing those things for her, because to you misandrist women, ALL men are evil monsters, even the ones that are good. Or so I've heard.
Yall know nothing about men, the same way red pill dudes know nothing about women. Social media isn't the real world and the people who find fame are always the most inflammatory, who end up radicalizing people and making it harder for regular folk to just get by because yall always have an excuse for why someone is, in your head, a piece of shit. Yall misandrists and misogynists are fucking insufferable.
@@felonies7 kind of a sexist thing to say honestly. There are thousands of good men out there who just want a nice woman to treat right. I’ve seen some awful and deplorable behavior by women. If every single person someone dates is abusive then either they have terrible luck, you attract negative people, or are just lying. My last girlfriend I treated like gold. I did every thing for her. Gave her all my time and love. While she did nothing and ended up becoming abusive. So it’s not just always men’s fault. There are some very abusive lazy women who just expect a man to do and pay for everything. Same as there are lazy pathetic men who expect women do everything in the home.
I’m sorry your mother suffered abuse but if she’s such a wonderful woman then why couldn’t she find at least one good guy? I’m always suspicious when someone says all their ex’s were awful and abusive. It is possible sure but you’re telling me she never had a chance to meet at least one guy who would treat her right? There are a lot of good men out there who simply want a kind, decent woman.
From what Ive seen some women often pick the men who excite them. Even if those men treat them horribly. Kinder men might be more nervous. They might not be as exciting, outgoing, and might be socially awkward. So they don’t always come off as initially attractive. I know, I know everyone says first impressions are everything.
Sounds like your mom keeps picking losers. That’s why you marry before you carry.
She insulted no one and was hit with threats of SA… yet wmn’s standards are too high.
Yeah it's pretty awful to threaten nice people like Kid. Making a dating profile with her picture was very cringe to say the least. Go ahead and have high standards. Just don't be surprised if dudes stop trying and start saying that the juice isn't worth the squeeze.
@@jlspracher I know about that, I’m talking about the wmn from the tiktok video. The one Matt Walsh complained about, mn threatened to r word and unalive her.
@@jlspracher wmn don’t want to be squeezed like a lemon… we’re human not fruit to be eaten by mn.
@@jlspracher and yet men expect women to be beautiful and do sx on demand while having zero input in household chores while also want her to earn money and then they demand she be 'submissive'..
Yeah drop your standards and then we'll talk..
It’s funny that women are judged for not having children after 26 and are then discriminated against in the workplace because bosses assume they will take maternity leave.
I’ve heard employers say I would never hire a woman of child rearing age. Sooo either way, we are judged.
Fertility is on a clock, career isnt
@@Penterrorwomen will have no career if women aren’t hired between 19 and 40.
@@Penterrorif she has kids, she won't have time for a career.
@@Helpmefindthewilltolive TIL Kids stay kids forever apparently
@@Penterrorno but if you don’t pursue a career when you’re younger it’s hard to get a good job later in life. And if you take a break employers don’t tend to pay as well or want to rehire you.
For Candace Owens to claim Christ in one breath and then use vile lanuage to describe an innocent woman is angering. Christ does not approve I'm sure. Candace preaches one thing yet does the opposite. As a Christian, I do not wish to be catagorized with Candace.
Same. She needs to read Jesus Feminist. The actual only kind of feminist that has ever existed and mattered
Candace is way too male identified & whyt identified. She forgets that they will throw her under the bus as quickly as these ppl she spews with hate. They do not care who she champions for. Cause she is not one of them.
She's become a total snob.
Same, her behaviour is highly embarrassing to me
What did she say?
I think what's interesting about these conservative commentators is that they are also against the very policies that would help grow families. Here in America, unpaid maternity leave is common, being overworked and underpaid is common, and medical debt is (quite) common. All of these things are in play, and you want women to have kids anyway?
I don’t think they are against maternity leave. As well I know Michael Knowles, who is on daily wire with Walsh, always advocates for families to get paid for having children. Kind of like welfare he says they should get incentives even though they are married since welfare you have to be single.
@@jofieji5312 I know Candace Owens is definitely against maternity leave. I’ve heard her say it. She also said if you don’t have support for the child, then it’s a “family issue”. She has no solutions, only rage-farming to boost her platform.
They are all about pulling yourself up by broken bootstraps
@@catcat9582 not really I think they are about God family and conservative values like personal responsibility and community. They probably fall short in some endeavors but falling short doesn’t make you a hypocrite.
@@jofieji5312"conservative values" being pull yourself up by broken bootstraps (among others)?
Never ever share your personal life and feelings publically as a woman you will be abused.
The internet is full off opinions, if you got effected till the point it makes you feel bad maby its time to do something else.
As a woman? Are dense enough to think it only happens to women. You sound like a red pill man. "it's the other gender's fault". Stop whining.
@@Margriet101what if your family is like that and then the people you try to create friendships with are like that? Is it gonna be "f everyone else" or are we gonna call out people for abusing others for sharing their feelings🙄
As a person, not a woman.
Why did you put "as a woman" in that statement? Have you seen what happens when men post their point of view?
Funny how people get so upset by a girl sleeping till 10 and making herself some Shashuka. Seems perfecly healthy to me.
That are the kind of things a weekend is for.
If you are single you can do these things your whole life.
You forget a women's life is not supposed to serve he r Its supposed to serve her kids, husband, elderly parents, community etc. Gosh forbid she lives HER life. How dare she!!
I'm a guy and she's the type of woman I'd marry.
@@tobiaslawrence8928 castrated male
My roommate back in my 20s slept untill 12, played xbox and watched anime all day. He was on wellfare, so he barely worked . Was he also empowered or was he a loser whose life is going nowhere?
@@TimXDDDDhe didn’t work and couldn’t support himself. This woman is simply having a relaxing weekend. She’s not reliant on anyone else like your friend.
me, starting the video : oh my god she is so incredibly beautiful
kiddie: i'm so sorry that I look like this,
She looks beautiful and perfect like a doll
Ur beautiful TEW 😢
My first thought, haha
Hopefully she get past this insecurity ❤
You are too sweet. That me smile so hard, thank you.
Society is still really not comfortable with women not in captivity.
And not comfortable with having opinions.
Were you a BTS fan few years ago
What captivity are you speaking of?
Ya'll have the right to vote while not having to be in selective services. In other words you get to vote for us men to sacrifice our lives when you have zero skin in the game. Who is oppressed? Get real!
@@TCBBB22 i am a woman and i am fighting for my right to be in selective services but the government doesn't allow women to serve..
Infact women in many countries are fighting for their rights to serve ..
Stfu and touch some grass..self victimization isn't cute honey..
Yesterday, my father ragged on me for not having a husband or ltr. He said every year I become less desirable. Even though he often said he thought my mother became her most beautiful in her 30s. And, I am mistaken to be much, much younger than my mid 20's.
Lol.
There are men I could have ended up with. I saw red flags that scared me, though. Such as jealousy & flirting with me while they had girlfriends. According to society though, I guess I should have been with them. If those said jealous men escalated to controlling? Well, society would say I should have chosen "better".
Can't win as a woman.
Don't be so sure, the wins come when we least expect
@@IKMTIrr That can be very true :)
So true. You can’t win.
Poor women.
How many people in society have said that to you other than your parents? How in society other than your parents expected you to be with those men?
Yes in different times your parents were basically society and broader society expected you to totally obey your parents but that is not our reality
Women can’t get it right. You stay single and childless, too picky.
Settle down and stay home with children, should be working.
Work to support you family, career woman not putting her kids first.
And the worst of all the single mother, a failed women.
I fall in to the later category 😂 and I do love being a mother. But I do think I felt a lot of pressure to settle down before I was 30. Ultimately we ended up on our own, which means I failed to meet the socially accepted expectation anyway. It’s very hard but I know these days feel like some of the most beautiful of my life. Saying that, there are so many roads to happiness and every woman should be able to choose her own, without pressure.
1. True. If nobody is "good enough", then your are picky.
2. Only strong independent woman will shame you for that.
3. True. Kids, who see their mom 3 hours in the evening won't be interested in sharing, talking and spending time with her, bc in their mind work is more important than them.
4. In the world where women can choose and have rights, they will deal with consequences of their actions. She wasn't sold for 5 cows to her husband.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't
@@TimXDDDD"only women will shame you" and yet, here you are, shaming her.
@@TimXDDDDbro go find a hobby or something u been in all the comments trying to prove a point that doesnt wven exist. Lord have mercy on the woman that end up with u, what a miserable life. Its getting more modern by the second and more n more n more indepentent woman are created everyday so go cry in a corner somewhere
@@TimXDDDD 1. No one is obligated to have a relationship for the sake of it. Maybe men can't cope with loneliness, but for women it's liberating. When my maternal grandfather was widowed, he was chasing women two weeks later. When my paternal grandmother was widowed, she remained single for the rest of her life because she did not want to clean up after another man.
2. Absolutely not. Ever talked to a man who proudly boasts about men building all of civilization while women created nothing? Ever heard what men say about their wives getting money in a divorce? Men want female labor, they don't value or respect it though.
3. Wrong. I've never had a problem with my mom working. I was at school during the day ffs...and the same was true for my dad. Are kids uninterested with their working dads in your world too?
4. Lol what? Anyway, way to prove the point, that ending up a single mother you will be demonized and be assumed to have done something wrong.
It's so interesting when male singleness is called an epidemic and discussed with gravity as an overarching societal problem, while female singleness is mostly subjected to either contempt or mockery
(and by interesting I mean painfully predictable)
It’s because single unhappy men are in part seen as a danger.
@@thezu9250They are a danger a big one , unfortunately its just how humans are built we shouldnt forget the brutality of the past and think we've somehow transcended it
It’s good that women no longer care about men epidemics that’s they problem they never care for womencides (genocide + women)
Ofcourse…. It’s so dumb. We just want to find a decent loving man to have children with. But no one’s talking about what men could be doing.. only women.
because women are called boss babes and "go girl" ... feminism killed your youth. you are shamed into the workforce, otherwise you are not worth anything. and while concentrating on being a boss babe and trying to have a career and sleeping around in your 20s. ... you fail to see whats wrong. you don't look for the good guys. you want more and more and more ... after 30 many realise that they run after the wrong things. for many it is too late.
men are constantly put down and shut down. not worthy enough for the women of today. they are also the reason for everything bad today. every leftist news outlet is shaming men constantly.
There's also something to be said about being selective in who you have a child with. You can't necessarily plan for when you meet the right person to procreate and, hopefully, spend your life with. It's definitely not an ideal thing to do alone.
I'd rather be single and childless than bound to an idiot I had a child with out of fear.
Doesn't society blame women for absent fathers as well because we should... choose better?
Where is "Society" doing that. I can't seem to find any reputable publications pushing that line.
Stop being a victim. You're doing the same thing she is speaking against.
Society isn't 'publications', its people. And plenty of people blame women for having kids with the wrong man, even if that man beat her. Get your head out of the sand.
A fear of womanhood that should be discussed more openly. I’m in my early twenties, in a stable and fulfilling relationship, have three cats and working hard on pursuing a career. I can’t imagine spending a year in pregnancy (and postpartum), incapacitated and had to rely on my partner for more than how much I already do. And devoting the rest of what I’ve got in life on children and revolving around them. I’ve pondered on the happiness and fulfilment of having a child but decided there are finer things in life, and that I don’t feel ready for that. I have yet to travel to the many places on my checklist and eager to devote more on my passion in life. As of now I am struggling to make enough time for all of the above.
@@lokylong28 It's a huge life commitment on many levels and you must truly feel safe relying on the man you are with to do something so big. In my observations, boys on the whole (in the West) don't seem to mature into men until well into their 30s or even early 40s.
It's definitely not a decision you should make out of fear, especially not in your early 20s!
@@ivanapaint That's not boys in the west that's males in general, humans only fully develope at around age 30, I don't think your going to be more mature if you've actually experienced real life like those in poverty however I think you have an anti west bias.
When are we going to learn that no one is better than anyone else? Having a family doesn’t make you special. No one is better or worse than you. And you are not better or worse than anyone else. Whether you have a family or not.
That's what dysgenic creature's like you say.
@quendelf
Having a family helps immensely in mental/emotional development. Like, why do I have to point this out?
Dysgenic: exerting a dentrimental effect on later generations through the inheritance of undesirable characteristics( i had to look it up cause english is not my first language). My question UNDESIRABLE according to who? and second what dentrimental effect? On society , economy or something else enlighten me? She made the most neutral comment and this was the reaction 🤔 I wonder why.
It can if it's a healthy family. If it isn't, it can be pretty damaging for all involved. It completely depends. Neither is right or wrong. @@johnmacrae2006
@@missblondie7033 There are traits which can reasonably be quantified as undesirable or bad because they objectively limit one's capacity to perform basic tasks, be they physical or mental. Being born with external or internal organs maldeveloped or completely missing or having below average intellectual functioning are just a few.
I think this topic is rarely addressed in the context of natalism and its implications on society for fear of coming off as ableist and promoting eugenics. But we cannot deny that inequalities in physical and mental capacities exist in the human population.
There is a certain level of intellectual and physical functioning requisite for personal responsibility and autonomy, so how could those individuals with the undesirable characteristics of which I speak be fit for parenthood?
Love this. I watched the tik tok and saw the response by conservatives. I have a child and my thoughts were wow good for her. I was even a little envious of her freedom. No experience is ever perfect. Motherhood isn't perfect, singlehood isn't perfect. We are all trying our best to live lives with purpose. I hate that people were so nasty to this woman, she's just living life. Having a child and husband won't make you selfless or a good person who spends their time well.
The grass is always greener, what truly matters is cultivating your land.
@@Remedy462yes , we better start take care our garden instead focus on neighbour's garden .
I totally agree. It just makes me wonder: What do they truly expect of her to do? they're all critic, but where's the genuine advice? Shes technically done EVERYTHING right; was her sin not settling down with someone who would be an awful fit for her?
As a woman who's fairly young, it's hard to watch content like this because of this reason; of course, I'd talk more about it, but Kid really summed my feelings.
I’m an Asian woman in my early twenties, my grandmother was raised in rural China and have her life the traditional “Chinese” way. Married very early to a distant man, have kids and is very estranged to her own family. She can never stop complaining about her life and I believe it stems from trauma since young, but she’s someone who’s so backwards and close-minded she could never accept modern medicine, let alone psychological diagnosis and treatment. (Siting the last time she was forced by my dad to go to a dentist as she was suffering from crippling devastating pain from rotten gum, she refused in the beginning and insisted to use traditional herbs as cure, but eventually caved. Cursed at the dentist when they’re trying to deal with her like an insane person)
When I brought my boyfriend home and introduced him to everyone, she kept pushing us to get married and have kids so she can have grandchildren. I declined and she kept on insisting, with the argument that she had kids when she was young and continuing the bloodline is important. Her words are full with contradictions because my grandpa never treated her well, had a whole ass family in a foreign country, and refused to live her even when my father and uncle were born. Grandpa took them to live with his mother. While I do not condone my grandpa’s behaviour, I can sorta understand his situation, my grandma is thoroughly very insufferable and rants from sunrise to sunset. It drains your soul away. My grandpa moved back to live with her in his 60s and he passed away a decade later. It’s been almost 15years since he’s passed and my grandma is still complaining about him, repeating the same things over and over again.
With her horrible experience with her husband, she still advocates for people to marry young. And she is completely unaware of the generational trauma it can cause. My father was very neglected as a child and has trouble on even normal day to day communication. My mother has a strong character and carries the family on her shoulders, being the breadwinner and also taking care of housework since forever. Our family has been through a lot, I see the strong woman in my mother I aspire to become, but she has scarified so much including taking care of my dad like her own son, and compromised her health to a point that recovering is difficult. I am a personal trainer and the main reason I became one is to help her become healthier. I buy her flowers on Valentine’s Day because my father did not prepare anything for her. The strong woman needs care too, and I cannot imagine myself in her situation.
Loving my family is painful but it’s beautiful and it brings tears to my face. I’ve worked very hard on my own mental health and I am wary of having my own children and the possibility of them having to go through what I did. As of now, I think the best love I can give to my children is not to bring them into this world I’m in, with so much suffering and painful past. Perhaps I will change my mind at some point, but it is not now and not in a long while. Pushing women to have children while we are in this complicated, conflicting state is cruel and devoid of compassion. Telling women to throw their own lives and passion away for children and telling them having a family will “fix” them is misleading and utterly apathetic and hurtful. Women and children are people of their own, just like how men are told they have to make something for themselves, especially in this day and age, where we all have the freedom to have aspirations and love, and facing the severe effects of overpopulation and overconsumption, I don’t see how having a family is gonna fix everything.
Beautifully said.
Sometimes I think people force parenthood on others because they want us to be miserable just like them.
insightful, I never knew china had this problem as well of raising man child’s 😮
Who cares, you're chinese, go storm taiwan already.
@@LvUhcXOh yes they do! I’m not Chinese but I watch quite a few commentary about Chinese culture by Chinese people and it’s common amongst men ALL over the world
Many women of previous generations will die fully committed to the advocacy for their descendants to enter the same cage they did. The cognitive dissonance must be torture, but I can't imagine how devastating it would be to accept that you've been fooled all your life in your twilight years. But the smart learn from their mistakes. The wise learn from the mistakes of others.
Too often I see women with children who treat them with resentment & contempt! You should only have a child because you want one and NOT because it's your womanly duty or because you don't know that you have control of your reproduction system! Children should be wanted loved & respected and not be brought into this world for selfish reasons or to fulfill some societal norm!
If you "don't know you have control over your reproductive system" you are in an abusive situation. Let's not go around shaming that particular class of women. You can criticize whoever you want, if they're making decisions. If someone sincerely does not understand they control their body, that person is very vulnerable.
Also, societal norms and expectations are different for everyone. Those pressures can be so heavy on your shoulders that not following your particular family or societal traditions can be the difference between losing your entire family or having children let's say.
People only have children for selfish reasons.
@@treacherousjslither6920 Yep only selfish reasons definitely not due to built in biological drives and to maintain society or just because that’s what happens when two people have unprotected sex. Just selfish reasons.
@@lateesha-marietyler8480 Yes. Selfish reasons. Ask people why they have or want children. Every reason they'll give you is selfish:
"I wanted to pass on my genes."
I wanted to give my children the life I never had."
"I've always wanted a big family."
"Legacy."
"To fulfill my societal duty."
"Me"
"Me"
"Me"
"Me"
"Me"
@@treacherousjslither6920 I clearly need educating what would be a less selfish reply? What happens if we end up having an aging population because people are not having children?
a saying says: "better be single than badly accompanied"
being in a relationship only because you don't want to be single is completely wrong, people don't need another person in their lives unless they feel a special connection to someone else and that said person reciprocates those same feelings, abusive relationships usually happen when at least one of the individuals doesn't actually care about the well being of their partner
USA must die. Honestly, the world is sick and tired
This feels like it's being said from someone with the privilege of being loved by others. Some people have not been hugged enough ad a child and as an adult if they just wanted a hug they have to pay someone a grand for sex to get it.
@@Godfailedyoustophumpinghisleg life is very simple and very complex at the same time, but one thing that never helps is having greed and jealousy, in fact having the 7 capital sins doesn't help your life, get rid of them and you will be happier with yourself, my life is not perfect yet you got triggered by my comment as if I am on fault for your failures, a total stranger on the internet, thinking that I am able to say what I say because I have a perfect life, stop being so sinful and focus in yourself, greed and jealousy is what is keeping you down not me
@hr-g4640 That's the point i was making, you can't appreciate love you take it for granted, I didn't get triggered but found a perfect example of someone who tells others to "do better" or be okay with nothing. What incentive is there for a person under that system if the person is beating the average on the metric, the fact is you've probably failed at better odds, yet I've had to drag myself homeless through college after being out on the streets by my parents, I make near 6 figures own a convertible and a motorcycle yet I am treated as invisible. Now if im a failure your turn, what have you achieved more than me that makes you deserving of love rather than me? or maybe you were just given love and don't really appreciate it at all.
@@Godfailedyoustophumpinghisleg it is impressive how americans spoil their kids too much just to throw them out of their house once they become adults, truly a dystopian hyper-capitalistic society, what makes me more deserving of love? nothing we are all deserving of the same love and we are all capable of achieving it you just need to stop giving it too much importance in your life, not because that will help you but because it will make you happier to focus in yourself rather than other people, one day you will meet someone, stop complaining about it and only focusing on it
Traditionally women did bring in some kind of income to help supplement their husband's income. Working class woman have always worked in some capacity. Even the bible, Proverbs 31, describes a woman who has her own money and manages not only her home but other people.
Proverbs 31 was a queen telling her son who he should marry. That's not a common reflection or portrayal of how most women were. It also wasn't a commandment or ideal Christian women were mean to strive for. The proverbs 31 woman was very unhealthy tbh.
@@catcat9582 We're going to have to agree to disagree
@@meganb.higgins973 How can you disagree with a basic fact?
@@catcat9582 The passage is about a mother giving advice to her son about the kind of man he should be and the kind of woman he should marry. The Proverbs 31 woman is a hard-working, smart, thoughtful woman who is kind to everyone she encounters. She's a loving wife and mother devoted to her family and faithful to her God. That's exactly the kind of woman God calls His daughters to be, and I don't think there's anything unhealthy to be had. So, therefore, agree to disagree.
I think most people had economic hardships in live.
But if you realy want a kid you will get creative.
Lucky a kid does not need alot.
Its sucks that in America you have such high labor cost.
It feels at the moment they are not realy young family friendly.
I wish you guys had younger presidents to choose from.
Hmm.. how about this: there are some of us women, who (stay with me) are happily married without having children. People should mind their own business. It costs absolutely nothing to mind your business.
In my eyes, realizing that you can't have everything is one of the most important insights in life. No matter what you do, you WILL miss out on things because you can't be/do everything at the same time. And every way of life has its downsides: Being single has downsides as well as being in a relationship, having children has drawbacks as well as having none. There is not the one way that is perfect for everyone and makes everyone happy at every second of their life.
I'm 38 now, freshly married and we have a house which is very nice. Just now I'm starting my second try to get a university degree - when I was 20, single and didn't have a house, I could move to my university town but now, I can't (because of the house and my husband's work) and have to travel by train every day. I wonder what it would be like to be a mother - maybe I'll never know but then, life without kids has its conveniences, too.
For people who are very happy with their life, I understand the urge to tell everyone that THAT is what they should do. But it's a misconception. Their way of life is not the best one.
F.O.M.O. is a double edged sword.
Very well said.
L arm 12:11
My parents had us in their 30s. One of us in their late 30s so it's possible. I may have come out a little dumb because of it but hey, I'm happy that I'm here lmao
Best comment in this video. The amount of victimhood or superiority complex in these comments section is depressing.
I'm amazed at how people try to convince women that their normal healthy lives are somehow worst than "the traditional woman's". My great great grandma got married when she was a child to an old guy that hated women and when she got sick she would cook her husbands meals doubled over in pain in the kitchen floor while he accused her of making it up and then she died young. My great grandma got cheated on and beaten by the husband. One of my grandmas barely learnt how to read bc her family favored her brother's education, and she also got cheated on. My other grandma couldnt graduate high school bc she got married (and she also got cheated on), and still feels sad about not being able to continue her education bc of her pregnancies. My mom and aunts got a different experience, but still had moments where their parters made their careers or personal lives more difficult. I love my grandpa and dad but I don't see how replicating the "traditional family" could be something to aspire to, as women seem to have a lot to lose. What's there to aspire to? No thanks lol
You should listen to Princella and Melanie Hamlett.......if you don't already.
That sounds honestly horrendous, I'm sorry for what your (great) grandmothers had to go through.
I think alot of older generations had no sympathy for slavery because their wives were slaves
LOVE melanie hamlett! thanks for spreading more feminist voices!@@dumfriesspearhead7398
@@dumfriesspearhead7398 I just looked at their channels and they seem like women versions of red pill 😅
Most women are perfectly cabable of having kids in their thirties. Also, everyone has to consider the possibility of infertility or situations like having a severely disabled child. Ish happens, you can't just assume that oh I'll just pop out some kids and everything will be sunshine and rainbows.
Literally, also there's this conception that the same doesn't happen to men, and that they can have healthy children anytime, when actually the older that men get, the likelihood of having kids with disabilities is higher
You want me to consider over what might happen if my kids a aRetard ? 🤨 lol
Yea but good luck
Yeah, this. One of my great-grandmothers had my grandma and her other 2 siblings past 35. They were all healthy and fine, then her daughter, my aunt had my little cousin at 38, she came out healthy and perfect (she's also very smart and doing well in school, 10 now) and my sister had my niece this year at 34, and she's also perfect, healthy and adorable. Both my sister and aunt got pregnant very easily and had absolutely no complications during their pregnancies. All these people saying that women become infertile or will have complications past 25 are stupid...
@@laurencsikistvan6630 i am happy for them, but it is not a lie. I have multiple friends that are from a range of 27 to 37 years old that are struggling to get pregnant. For two of them was so stressful that now are in middle of divorce and other two are already hopeless that they could have a baby without intervention and decided to start ivf soon. I have also three acquaintances that already did ivf in their 40‘ ,one of them flying in another country to use donor eggs because in Germany is illegal to do so. And also one in her 50‘s that really tried without luck through the years and adopted. Also it took for me years to get at 28 without medical intervention pregnant. So what i mean is that it is not easy for everyone to get pregnant. From my childhood friends and school/ university only few have a kid,at most two kids (age 35). It sounds more like an epidemic of infertility if you ask me
As a single woman in her 40s I just listened to this video on my way to put to rest my dog of 11 years.
Just because someone doesn't have kids, doesn't mean that our lives are empty or lack meaning.
Friends. Family. And yes, pets, make our lives complete.
Thank you for keeping me company the day I let my little guy rest.
Sorry to hear about your dog. Had a puppy pass last week & it crushed me even though I planned to sell her.
i'm so sorry for your loss, it really is like losing a friend ❤
@@abigaelrarts2257 poorly aged white♀️
Sorry for your loss.
My condolences.❤❤❤
Read a history book or at least speak to older relatives... She's gone now, but Nan talked about having to leave school at 14 to train as a drapier because her mother (widowed, technically by WW1 if not during WW1) needed the money coming in. Her own Nan had to work into her 80's. This stay at home mother thing is an anomaly.
Exactly. It’s very much a recent construct.
it was only reserved for the wealthy and unfortunately with radio shows, tv, and further evolution of media it was slowly pushed more and more. the only real integration was introducing women to job fields only men were allowed to do rather than the idea of work itself
Well it is for Black and working class White women.
@@dumfriesspearhead7398True 😂
@@dumfriesspearhead7398for all poor people really.
Something that terrifies me is, that a lot of men are attracted to underaged girls
I look like a Highschooler, about 16 years old.
I can't go anywhere without men of all ages sexully harassing and chase after me.
Often they're disappointed when they find out that im over 30
I'm not even attracted to men. They don't care
They won't accept "NO! " for an answer
Same....that's why I have been so picky
Are you blk, I ask because blk and east asian women tend to age the best compared to others?
Look up school teachers on any news site. Its not unique to men
I literally just turned 18 and my assumed age range is from 12-16. These MEN are weird. If they try and use that legal excuse, I'm still a teenager and you are a grown man STAY AWAY
Tell them you're a teenager and that your father is a police officer. They should leave you alone and not want your number after that. 😂
Honestly once you hit 28 or 29 and you're still single and you have no kids, the freedom starts to become more and more ADDICTIVE. It's literally so addictive, that it just becomes harder to picture giving that up
One tool that useful to see what is happening is evolutionary biology. Why does a 20-year-old woman think she has all the time in the world to have kids? Evolutionary this does not matter at all. The thing that matters is finding a high value provider. Sex automatically took care of the having children part. This was before hormonal birth control, the atomic bomb in the room here. It massively disrupted things. Historically by thirty you had many kids at that point. If not, your fertility is not there and your out of the gene pool. We are in an evolutionary mismatch situation on multiple levels now. From this point in time, we are trending toward substantial prosperity induced population decline. There are zero signs this will slow down, but many for its acceleration. This will likely exceed a population drop of the Black Death. On the high side, if this goes for over couple hundred years, more on the scale of the Toba Catastrophe of 75,000 years ago.
People try to advocate old solutions to this. But they clearly do not work. New narratives or ones that are too small to notice will evolve. They will be the ones that sustain positive population replacement.
Omg I agree 😂
I’m glad my parents didn’t have this mindset
It’s just kinda bizarre that Zendaya was critiqued by Candace for apparently being “inept” in the kitchen? I’m pretty sure most people aren’t trying to do the craziest science experiments in the kitchen on the daily. Most people find it a drag to make something new and different for their family every day. My mom tended to make things in bulk and we’d eat it throughout a couple days and I totally understood that because working full time and then having to come home every day to potentially slave in the kitchen? No thank you. Personally.
She is rich and famous! She is busy all day, she probably hires a personal chef. Nothing wrong with that!
Also without googling recipes; how is she supposed to learn how to cook? Wild.
I sincerely think that Candice's audience is heavily represented by divorced men in their 50s and teenage boys: aka people who view cooking as some sort of mystic act that can only be learned at the expense of all other pursuits.
I used to take cookery pretty seriously. It doesn't matter how many cookbooks you have. It's always worth googling to check if anyone figured out how to make minced meat taste interesting.
@cynthiam6487 Yeah, she's a millionaire and probably the most favored celebrity by Gen Z; I don't think being a standered housewife is apart of her to-do list, (as of yet at least) 🤷♀️ to me it's pretty clear focusing on her career is what she's doing.
Got married at 30 (after the dissolution a previous 6 year relationship), had kids at 36 & 39. Got the best of both worlds. Love my kiddos, but glad I spent my 20s and 30s traveling and building my career. Cheers to not putting yourself in a box made by a man.
It probably comes with other drawbacks to be right around retirement age when your kids are still early 20s and not independent
Yea, this is totally awesome and acceptable especially because wealthier people are living well into their 80s and 90s healthily.
Same!! Except even later! I married at 38 and had my baby at 41. I loved having the time to travel, get my MBA, build my career and have fun before settling down. All in my own timing. Can’t stand sexist Candace Owens by the way…. 👹
Very interesting way of looking at things, I’ve never had a man put me in a box, the only ones judging and giving in little chats about the subject or probably 90+ percent women. No man is going to tell me what I can and cannot do and quite frankly Being in my late 30s now I’ve never had a man put me in a box, I pick and choose who I want when I want them and if they’re lucky they might be able to date me, please don’t give men power that they really don’t have, they might think they have it but they don’t unless we give it to them and then it’s on us
As a fellow Cat (Catherina is my name) this was definitely comforting to read. Just turned 29 and I’m cherishing every moment amid the vast and immense external pressures to do all that family shxt right now 🤣😭. Like geez I just bought my own house I’m supposed to find someone immediately to just procreate…?! 😂🤣 anywho thanks for sharing 🤗🙆🏽♀️
As a 36 year old, unmarried, childless woman, if I find a genuinly good guy who actually wants to commit that I can pour all my love on, great! Would love to experience genuine love, but I'll still be happy on my own! I'm just not interested in hook ups, one-night-stands and such causual stuff, basically there has to be actual genuine emotions for me to be interested, not just someone wants in my pants. People can shame me all they want for being unmarried and childless, it's very telling on them, and just hilarious.
As a Norwegian, I've never heard of this whole "Scandinavians get married and have kids a plenty." argument.
Enjoy it
Poorly aged white♀️ you look 40
Are you a good woman, though?
@@TimXDDDD Not the right question to be asked here. Men have to prove themselves to women, not the other way around.
@@tinycatfromhell Ah, yes those wonderful perfect women that are good by default. Lol. I believe you think of yourself as a worthy of the most eligible bachelors.
speaking as a parent with two kids; single and childless sounds WONDERFUL!! you don't need children or a SO to make your life complete! The dependance on that type of relationship seems weak minded and insecure to me.
🎯 Weak-minded and insecure is exactly what a lot of these people are, sadly.
To be honest I feel it is pointless to talk about twitter hate. Twitter is a completely waste of time and does not contribute anything to a sensible discussion. And I really don't think anyone who is in social media is immune to hate. Once you are in social media you take it as a necessary evil. I think if we leave social media chitchat aside we would have much fruitful discussion about issues that matter.I hope she takes these trash talk as usual garbage.
Sometimes you can ignore Twitter hate but the hate that comes from politicians and people with influence should Not be because they will try to do something about.
@@Shay45 So this is just an artificially created atmosphere. Mostly created by social media influencers. The only thing this whole charade thrives on is 'attention'. The more attention we give to it the more fuel it gets. Its a self perpetuating process. We need to totally stop giving attention , i know its almost impossible bit it can be done. This is mostly he said she said type of nonsense. One side says something inflammatory totally intentionally another side reacts.
I have to agree that it is very particular content created for a very particular audience. I'm sure it drives click rates, but that is mostly what it is designed to do. Underneath all of this there is a valid discussion of what declining birth rates and a diminished role of the family will impact society. But a TikTok, pretty much any TikTok, won't be a good starting point for that.
I do somewhat agree with you. Increasingly, to my personal dismay, Twitter/X is being seen as a sort of "marketplace of ideas". I think as long as politicians (and civil servants) have Twitter - and use it to inform their policy - the hate which circulates will be important and informative.
@@KidologyCO It has become more of a mutual celebration of basest impulses for everyone. I just refuse to think normal people in real life are as base as what Twitter wants us to believe. That's all.
It bothers me that people like Walsh will claim Christianity while also having a hugly apparent superiority complex and clearly relish kicking people while they are down.
Religious people are like this,don't be fooled the most horrible people on this planet are religious.
The hypocrisy they potray is what has always turned me off organised religion
St Peter will not let him through, that's for sure. He will be so shocked
Procreating is the single stupidest thing a person can do if they don’t DESPERATELY want to do it.
Absolutely
Exactly
There absolutely needs to be consideration of the quality of life of the future progeny, not just quantity.
Kids always know when they're not wanted. Hell, I was planned and desired but my mom just wanted my brother more. I knew very young and I carried negative feelings about that well into adulthood.
@@juliekring7574 that's a rotten thing for a mother to say to her child. I'm sorry you dealt with that. :(
Im 35 and gave up on relationships 13 years ago, I think alot of men are giving up on it these days. We should just make money and be happy, who needs the drama? both men and women can be happy without it I think.
American men are pretty much losers, though. You're not like your predecessors. I am speaking as an outside observer
Exactly, and if you want to raise a kid there are PLENTY in the orphanages that would give everything to get a loving home
"Shoulds'" are individual. Your "should" is not my "should" is not his "should."
So be single, relate to those who have chosen singleness, and have try your best to have a great life. Others will choose marriage, an undocumented relationships, or children and will do what they can do to live a great life.
At the end of the day it's non of anyone's business.
Maybe if you have low testosterone.........
I almost gave up too. The constant rejection and getting dumped left me very dejected.
The older generation's answers to the problems of the young always amounts to the equivalent of,
"If you're homeless, just buy a house,"
as though nothing has changed in fifty years.
This was such a good video, especially when you brought up the fact that everybody will and has had regrets irrespective of what decisions they make. It's just a human condition to feel sad at times while also having luxuries others don't have.
not necessarily, there are people who are meandering through life without second thoughts ever
I think it’s interesting that we have to be labeled “modern” when males don’t. Even though they are existing in the same exact time frame as we are, indulging in the same modern luxuries, and contributing to the same culture that drives modernity. That just shows how religious(contradictory) society still is. When in doubt, blame “woman” so she feels guilty and holds herself back from her future vs the one we(father god) choose for her. For even though she is in a perpetual state of naïveté, and so incapable of making her own decisions, it is her cunning serpentine feminist attributes that will drive us all straight to hell….lest she have children over and over to prove herself worthy of our(father god’s) modern kingdom!!!
Btw I would love to learn Danish ♥️
Some guys are thoroughly convinced that males have remained static the last 150 years . 😂
@@decoraqueena6413 When it comes to philosophy, a lot of them have been, which is strange to see in the modern world. You are on a cellphone promoting middle age relationship dynamics and promoting women have babies to prove their value 🤢. It is like they really believe this is the first generation of women who wanted to live their own lives. It’s great she hit on the truth of women’s journey through history. Especially when it comes to the “nuclear family” which is tossed around on these anitfeminist podcasts as if it was something beneficial to anyone besides the economy.
Y’all think your way into a psychosis. Most men just want love and a family. Men have had to cope with that not being a possibility.
Nobody thinks badly about modern women except for conservatives and ncels which are not the majority of society and everyone hates. Modern single and childless women are independent and empowered while modern single and childless men are lazy and bad.
Women are described as modern because women in the past few decades have experienced a wild change in their position in society while men have not. What it means to be a successful women has drastically broadened while what it means to be a successful man has stayed the same and maybe even narrowed.
Nobody says modern men because that doesn’t exist
@@delonthomas48you answered your own question. It would be amazing if men could shed patriarchal expectations like women mostly have but that hasn’t happened. Nobody holds it against women that they don’t have kids except for like their mom. Single men today are considered pretty pathetic
Women have maintained the positives they experienced from patriarchy (being sought after and infantilized) while shedding the negatives. Men have kept the negatives they experienced in patriarchy (not being allowed to have problems or sympathy from anyone) while losing a lot of positives. Like with the wage gap in terms of the youngest generation leaving college, it still exists but in the opposite generation. Much more women go to college and this now young women are making more than young men
@11:44 If an adult man who publicly calls himself UnvaccinatedSperm criticized my life choices then I would consider myself to be on the right track.
I can't believe he put his actual photo next to it 😂😂😂
@@md9833I noticed that too. It's hard to believe he was the successful sperm. It doesn't say a lot about his fathers ball sack production.
I was looking for this comment 👌Could'nt agree more 💯
Thank you for your content. I am so tired of these "feminists" who hate women.
Men in USA made them.
who are these feminists that Kid is talking about? throughout the video, it's evident that right-wing ideology is at the root of demonising older single women yet in some 'enlightened centrist' nonsense, Kid desperately tries to make some convoluted point about "feminists" who supposedly also demonise single women😂
@@thatqueenG JK Rowling.
@remiremsar5946 one feminist in a sea of anti-feminist, right-wing people that regularly shit on single women doesn't mean that "feminists" also do that. what's with this obsession with calling out "both sides" when it comes to issues that are overwhelmingly stigmatised in right wing circles?
@@thatqueenG Terfs. Right wing feminists... just because you don't recognize them doesn't mean they aren't part of the movement.
OMG, thank You! I was waiting for someone on YT (besides Destiny) to call Candace out on this. What she did to Shakshuka girl was despicable, and she doubled down over and over again.
Candace owens is horrible, she is the epitome of mean and shame and possibly pick me behaviour
I think she’s a psychopath, tbh.
@@LoneWulf278 she did sic nicole arbours violent stalkers on her after they had a minor argument Knowing they had real intent to physically harm her, and while nicole is harldy a saint no one deserves to have that put on them, so I would actually believe that unironically at this point tbh
@@Sandstimes Definitely. It’s insane that nobody has reeled her in yet. I guess she knows that her success is only guaranteed if she remains useful to certain people.
She is a mean girl ,the way she badmouthes Zendaya on not knowimg how to cook talking about how she is being a bad example to younger women to not know how to cook was bizzare .Zen didnt talk about society or young women .She said truly she didnt know how to cook but made an amazing pasta with avocado sauce . She didnt even berate women who can cook
Online conservatives when they realize that the Bible tells them to respect others:
One of the best things to come out of this year is the decentering men movement, never have I been so happy. I encourage all women to do the same. Many of my problems derived from this desire to be chosen, loved by a man, and when I got over that and centered my life around myself and what I wanted, everything else started to fall into place naturally. And I hope it continues to grow ❤
Most men have already been decentered
I'm proud of you but remember men are incredibly adaptive. In your quest to DECENTER lol us, this summer alone i've went to endless weddings with a guy who met an educated, kind, loving, trustworthy, etc etc woman from another part of the world.
Although I do not care enough to go half way around the world to look for someone, i'm happy for everyone involved. It is a win/win as I see it.
@@Ed-xv4sy Why ask someone to "remember men are adaptive" when she already said she doesn't care what they do. So they're spending money to IMPORT their golddiggers now, who even asked about them? 😂
@@Ed-xv4syPassport bros and the like are a blessing! 🤣
@@Ed-xv4sy decentering from men is not about avoiding them at all! while everyone is wavering about the modern women being independent and etc, MOST of us still need male validation in order to feel worthy or desired and we end up pursuing things that will please them whether this will harm us or not.
EXTREME example: think justpearlythings. she may not believe with 90% of the things the says, but as long as men around acknowledge her, even if that means mocking her, she’s okay with repeating harmful or stupid opinions
35:09 although I’m not Christian anymore, I remember at a church I went to when I was young the priest said plain as day there are more female Christians than Christian men, thusly, a lot of Christian women would go unmarried. Their main reason for discussing it wasn’t to scare young women but to explain the duty of other Christian families to include these Christian women in their lives, to let them be Auntie figures to their children, etc.
That priest had a lot of empathy for these women, specifically due to the fact they would choose dedication to their faith instead of looking for non-Christian husbands (tho that is not a restriction I believe women should have imposed on them) but he was at least also adamantly against the large portion of Christian men, despite there being many Christian women to choose from, marrying non-Christian women instead, which he believed was only worsening the prospects of Christian women and weakening the continuation of church-going Christian communities.
But with that in mind, the fact people are shaming that Christian woman for not having found a Christian husband and making it her fault is just cruel, I’m sure any of those “Christian men” replying to her claiming she was picky, more than likely don’t restrict their own romantic prospects to Christian women and likely don’t attend church every week either, yet they’re still so scornful they’ll openly gaslight her about the real experiences of Christian women, in which Christian men simply aren’t around for these women to date.
I feel like the phenomenon of projection as the male go-to ego-protection would be a fascinating topic on its own, as their fixation on single women and shaming them, calling them picky, telling them they’ll be lonely and miserable, no one will want them, etc is just a bunch of men who are lonely, picky w/ stupidly high standards and with fears of singleness/a life alone projecting this onto women.
Likewise, offloading the fear they may be inadequate to women by deciding it’s women who are just faulty at perceiving the value in men like themselves. Projection is a very easy way to avoid your own fears and feelings.
This felt very good for my mind to read
Agreed I’m a male btw
Agreed. Islam fixes this problem
I respect that priest for having empathy and trying to find some sort of solution.
The pastors in my church gaslight or deny so I stopped going.
@@aspiring... agree
Haha, friggin love your commentaries, your videos never disappoint. Candace just strikes me as such a hypocrite on multiple levels. I remember watching her being interviewed in a podcast and saying young women should lower their standards, while she's married to some billionaire from an old money family, who also happens to be young and handsome.
Hell yeah. Candace is the worst hypocrite. She's married to a rich white man, has a job, a child, can afford excellent childcare, and preaches to women to go back to the 1950s and be good little housewives.
Maybe she means he might not have been her type but she went for it anyway & was pleasantly surprised
@@2okaycolayoung, handsome and millionaire = not her type hmmm sounds sus
Mr Candace Owens also proposed after only knowing her for about 3 weeks!
At the time that they met, he was a hedge-fund manager! Google what managers of hedge funds earn.
The irony of it all is that she still works so she is definitely a walking contradiction
The loneliness argument is interesting to me. Being a mother has been one of the most lonely experiences of my life. My connection to other adults and friends severely took a nose dive once I became a parent. And in some ways, it has been a challenge to even stay connected to myself as my interests are on the back burner and my needs are not considered or must fall behind all the people I must take care of in family and at work. Very little time to pour into my own cup
As a 52yr old man who is a father and a grandfather...I completely understand both the desire to wait to have kids or choose to be childless.
At least half the parents I know will say, when no one else is within earshot of course, either wouldn't have had as many kids, would have waited for better circumstances, or would not have had kids at all.
I have one son, whom I love, but I would NEVER have more kids. Why? Because I have hobbies, intellectual interests, spiritual practices I engage in, books I want to read, etc.
I've got better shit to do than raise more children...period.
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Parenting can be deeply fulfilling, if you are mindful of the moments of true joy parenting can give. In less than optimal circumstances, parenting can also be an endless well of misery, resentment, and hopelessness.
Ladies....find your fulfillment where you can. Do not feel pressured by those without imagination to have children because they personally can't imagine not having kids.
Most of that is pure cope.
Thank you. An honest comment from a man.
So many redpills men use shaming tactic towards unmarried, childless women in general. As it getting the ring make everybody happy. Having kids will make any woman happy.
Lots of women are forced to marry, will get a ring but don’t want it. Lots of women are pregnant and abort it, some wait for it born to give for adoptions.
Life can’t be all black or all white. What work for some people may not worth for others.
Accepting those things is neccessary for societies to grow.
not even a woman, but god damn this really eased my thoughts about just living my life. as much as I know in my heart of hearts that this culture war shit is so single minded and mostly delusional, it still can get to me sometimes. Thank you for reminding me how much more vast life is. we need more content like this. definitely subscribing.
Seriously, God, the whole thing is mind-numbing and invading every platform. I knew it wasn't the best activities, but nowadays, I'm genuinely starting to hate going on Instagram and (sometimes) RUclips because of all of it.
I'm just happy Kid is able to see both sides of things in a clearer light. It hurts because I think that should be standered regardless of what you identify as, but I guess it's rarer.
I never understood the shaming of women who are still single, especially in the Christian conservative space (and this is coming from someone who is a Christian). Everyone goes through different phases of their lives and we all should practice gratitude during those times. Relationships and children are some of the most difficult things in the world and they shouldn’t be taken lightly. If it’s not your time to be with someone or have a child, then wait, pray, and continue trusting God has better plans for your life. Some people may never get married and that’s okay.
For the people who are alone and not satisfied with where you’re at - stay positive and focused. You can find blessings in every fasciate of life and God does have bright plans for you in the future.
💛💛💛
I never understood the shaming of underemployed lazy men that live with their momma and work at the corner store. “I don’t want no scrubs” Men should be able to just do whatever they want and lay around and be bums.
@@jofieji5312you're comparing a basic adult requirement (having a job) to being a mother. You have no hope
this is a very thoughtful and mature outlook on life 🙏🏻
@@jofieji5312 if you think it's easier to raise a child than having a job. 😅 seriously seek help. I am the oldest of 4 kids. I was basically the second mum. A job is incredibly easy compared to raising a young child. It's 24/7 non stop. At least with a job you clock out at a certain time
@@jofieji5312 really teenagers??? End of discussions.
The internet is for introverts, so inevitably we all end up finding ourselves in these para social relationships.
I loved your section (near the end) on how having quality friends means having to “demand” things from them 😂 it’s a good reminder!
Loved the video ❤
Yeah I agree with what you said about the internet being for introverts. That used to be more true in the past when using the web was more of a geeky thing.
From reading Kierkegaard, I've come to realize that life is inherently built from choices, and with every choice comes both the angst of making it and the regret that will inevitably follow. The key isn't to find the right choice, but to be able to deal gracefully with the ones we make, in both responsibility for the consequences and humility for our leaps.
45 single, never married and childfree all happily, especially when I see my exhausted peers mostly with useless husbands that don't pull their weight that they can't stand, but they feel stuck with. Also I'm seeing all their health's decline because they have absolutely no time for themselves or the energy. To me that is a fate worse than death. And to all those people that told me in my 20s/30s that I would be lonely and sad in my 40s they see very obviously I'm not are telling me the same thing but now it's when I'm 60, and I guess then they'll tell me I'll be lonely and sad when I'm 80, it's absolutely hilarious.
Poorly aged white♀️
That sounds like an absolute nightmare! Proof that more often than not, marriage and a family are a real obstacle to a woman's happiness.
@@tinycatfromhellYou should listen to Melanie Hamlett.
@@vklnew9824found the loser with a bag full of ad hominems and literally nothing else in his life 😂
@@AG-iu9lv 🧂poorly aged white♀️
this is one of best videos on your channel and on the internet. you articulated everything beautifully. this is the first time i saw u very directly criticizing some of the ignorant content present everywhere these days. love your videos❤❤❤
This reads like something a cultish Christian fundamentalist would say
What are you talking about, the first five minutes it almost sounded like she was blaming men for her position in life or the fact that she’s obviously lonely. She’s admitted as such in other videos about wanting to date a guy that’s out of country but he picked another girl over her and she talks so many times about the empowerment of women and yet was on standby as a side piece to some guy in another country. I decided to be the first woman in my family to go through medical school and I made the choice to not get married and have kids, that choice wasn’t made for me or by anyone other than myself, I find it so fascinating when people point the finger at others for their plate in life.
PS please excuse all my grammatical errors, dictating this to Siri while driving and I am unable to edit
@@metallica2500so what? Did she give up on herself because of guy out of country? No, she’s out there doing what she loves and what we love too. She’s helping us see the bigger picture. Also calling her a side piece is a huge reach as they likely weren’t sleeping together. You’re allowed to admire a man in another country as long as it doesn’t hold you back. I also have zero respect for the medical profession these days so not sure why you had to throw that in as a brag. She’s way better than you, if you’re wondering.
@@sadiemakesmesmile what are you talking about, she said it affected her in a big-time way and she was literally waiting around for this guy to decide who he wanted. In regards to medical school that was brought up due to the fact that there was reference to men end or people telling women basically what they are going to do in life and I was just pointing out that that’s far from true. now I would agree if people do nothing but sit on line all day long and/or get their news and information from influencers then that might be the case
@@metallica2500 well I was just referring to the arguments made by her through the historical and statistical facts. I felt like that was articulated quite well. I am very oblivious to her personal life decisions and quite frankly do not care much about them. She pointed that most or atleast some ( if u are very individualistic) of our decisions are a consequence of socio-economic factors. And people interestingly don't know this.
Oh and btw, congrats on med school, you must be really intelligent and persistent. What kind of doctor are you?
It should also be noted that many social media parents are abusers. The only time my mom was ever "kind" to me was when she'd force me to pose for pictures. She was incredibly image focused and berrated and belittled me even in front of guests to show how she "discplined" me. I moved out recently and I'm finally no contact and free!
I did every thing late. Late to law school (30), first and only job as an attorney at 33 where I met my future husband. Had my first child at 39, second child at 42.
Retired this year after 34 years of government service. Still married. My girls are grown career women.
Just remember, the number of eligible men dwindles as you get older. My husband was married before but had no children from that marriage. So his full attention was on our children, which is exactly how I wanted it.
I am yet to see a parent who isnt completely miserable and frustrated 24/7
It’s interesting how these people make their platforms (& money) out of being obsessive over women’s lives
I told a guy I was seeing who was also a psychologist that I want to only have a child out of the love for my partner and our connection, basically the love for our union. He responded with ‘that’s irresponsible and selfish’. When I asked who or what should I be responsible to? He said yourself and your child if you have one. I responded with:
“So when I’m single and looking after myself I’m selfish, and simultaneously I’m also irresponsible for being the mother I’m not. See, I can’t win.”
Ya know. People thought the Barbie movie was too dramatic or pessimistic for the line “it’s impossible to be a woman”. But it was lowkey spitting facts.
I’m gradually realizing that people unironically have these views. They’re committed to antagonizing our choices because they resent that we HAVE them to begin with. So, it’ll never be the right/good choice.
@@LoneWulf278you're speaking facts too, because that's so real
Were you dating Jordan Peterson? 😂
It seems people think that their opinions about life should be imposed on others. Make your own life choices and live with them. Life is what you make it
This is the problem it’s appalling
I am in my mid 20s, married and pregnant with my first.
Im currently not working, because I have epilepsy and cant drive, which is crucial in the rural US in order to keep a job.
This life is not as good looking as some idealize in their heads. My husband is a welder and does alright financially, but we still struggle. I feel guilt for getting pregnant because Im on all sorts of medications that put my child at risk. I feel guilt for not working, even though no one is shaming me about it. You watch your husband work hard, hes in pain all the time, I never get to spend time with him because hes always working overtime. My family is broken so I rely on friends to help me, not knowing anything about pregnancy, motherhood, and just feeling entirly unprepared.
I feel like Ive made a mistake getting pregnant, which adds to the shame. Shouldnt I already be so attached and in love with my unborn child?! Well, aparenrly, no. Its quite normal to not be at all attached to your new child. It can sometimes take weeks or months to become attached to a new born child. Again, adding shame into womens lives, which leads to post partum depression. Which by the way, sui*ide and homicide are the leading cause of death postpartum. You are at one of your most vulnerable stages during this time in life as a woman.
Anyways, my point is, the grass is always greener on the other side, as they say. Every path is human life has its downsides and concequences, rewards and blessings. One way of living a life does not automatically grant you happiness and peace of mind.
By the the way, nothing I've said here is meant to discourage women from having children if that's what they want. Just try to be realistic. Prepare and educate yourself. Don't expect the entire process to be lovely and the happiness time in your life. Expect some hardships so that when they come, you're not so in shock, swirling into resentment, and unbearable shame.
Just wanted to say in terms of you feeling connected with your unborn child, i'm currently pregnant with my first also. I did not feel connected to my child until I hit week 20 and found out the gender, before that I was feeling so guilty, because I wanted this so badly and when that feeling didn't come I felt like a terrible mother, but yes these feelings are normal, it just happens to women at different rates, my friend didn't feel connected to either of her children until about 3 days after they were born, I know of another mother who didn't feel anything for her daughter until she was 4 months old. The feelings come in time, you'll get there, you're gonna be a great mother, just don't feel guilty or doubt yourself in the meantime x
Thank you for being the voice of reason. The secret to happiness is finding contentment in the choices you make. I am a single woman in my mid 50s… never married. I have my good days and my bad days. Sure, I wonder what my life would be like with marriage and kids. However, one thing I know for certain is that I would still have good and bad days. Marriage and family can be wonderful but this lifestyle does not guarantee happiness. I wish the conservatives would be honest about this.
Screw that. I want like a billion kids.
@@TJ6152 good for you
It is men who need to worry about their fertility after 30 because they can often cause problems in their offspring.
Ok dysgenic woman
I'm all human can have more problem in their offsping the more thay are old
Lol women get mad at the egg thing but say dumb stuff like this
@Penterror fertility clinics are coming out saying often its actually the man who is infertile but the couple assumes it is the woman. :)
Studies show that children with older fathers are at a greater risk for certain disorders, specifically autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
@@catcat9582Wow the people that make their living off of freezing eggs is coming after sperm, that's so weird.
The link between older sperm and problems in offspring still isn't very high, but it's nice that it gives women even more of an ego boost
the way people (in this video candace) use the word narcissism is so misleading. its not just a person who likes to talk about themselves, its a personality disorder that comes with specific behaviors and patterns that are very hurtful to the people that have relationships with them. the abuse is mostly not apparent to the outside and most definitely not displayed on social media. people should just say self-centered instead.
It's been a long time since I was 100% engaged with a video that's over an hour long. Well done.
As a guy who grew up without a present mother, an only-child, and witnessing dysfunctional relationships in my periphery my entire childhood, it's really hard to envision myself living out some trad-con utopian lifestyle, even though I was raised by a conservative father.
If witnessing dysfunction play out taught me anything, it's not only the case that parenthood isn't for everyone, but for some people it should be completely avoided even if they think they want children. Thankfully my father supports my life arc in this reguard, but I'll sometimes hang out with him and his friends, who are all also conservative Christians, and I'll get occasional snarky banter from them along the lines of, "Better get busy so maybe your dad can be a grandpa someday." To which I'll accept it at face-value as just being playful banter, but it can get annoying having a felt sense of being othered and "missing the mark" when I'm around conservative Christian men. It's one reason why I've drifted away from that subculture, politics, and religion. I can't interface with the tiniest thread of relatability with the people in that space. It never goes beyond the boring cake-and-coffee-talk of assuming that I have a family
In this way, I can absolutely sympathize with women who are arbitrarily ousted off the property of womanhood on the basis of not following 1-to-1 with prescribed reductive life-arc that is representative of a small snapshot in history. I spoke once with a man who considers himself MGTOW (a 'Man Going Their Own Way') and he had an interesting insight. He said that the single largest failing of men isn't we didn't teach them to be masculine enough, it wasn't even that women aren't up to par, it's we conditioned men to draw all points of self-conception around external validation. That the frontier of men as it stands right now is the frontier of the self. Cultivating and shaping an intrinsic identity completely disconnected from the external. Learning how to be a human-being as opposed to a human-doing. Learning who you are apart from someone who works overtime.
How does this circle back around to women? It seems women's journey through the frontier of the self comes in the form of society pushing them in ways that expand their horizons by way of having careers and enjoying reproductive freedom. They've also been able to be multi-faceted in a way that the average man just isn't. They possess the emotional intelligence skills and other traits that are often ascribed to women, but they've also developed a lot of the hyper-driven and goal-oriented traits that are traditionally ascribed to men. This is a point I'm reiterating from the streamer Destiny who's often talks about this in red-pill spaces. And what we're seeing in these reactionary responses to women online saying they're perfectly fine being single and childless, or iterating their dissatisfaction with the men in their pool, is projection. Specifically, projection based on the developmental deficits between modern men and modern women. The primary deficit being that journey of self-discovery I've alluded to earlier. You know that cringey saying you hear from women sometimes when they say they're "finding themselves?" That roughly touches on what I'm talking about. When was the last time you heard a man say he's "finding himself?" No, he's likely sex-crazed, hustling and bustling to obtain money and status in hopes of mesmerizing a woman into his life, or many women into his bed. So I think we need a version of "strong/independant" (cringe) for men.
Do I want to be in a romantic relationship? Yes. But I'm hella picky. I've seen what happens to people who takes anyone that comes along. There have been moments where I'll be nudged in the direction of a single woman by someone who'll go "Hey, look. There's boobs over there and they're single." So what? Am I attracted to her? Is she on the same life-arc as me? Can I relate to her? Forget that. I'm expected to become magnetized to any woman that so much as burps in my general direction. This isn't to say that I'm not still a guy with a guy lizard brain who has "drives." But it is to say I also crave substance too. 18-23 year-old women are very hard to relate to outside of a guy-lizard-brain-centric disposition. I had an awkward concern float into my mind once when I was young, about 15-years-old when my male hormones where like 5 kids on a 24-pack of Mountain Dew at 3am. The worry was I might be a pedophile when I grew up because I thought 16-20 year-olds were the most attractive girls. But when I hit my mid-20's, I remember sitting in a restaurant and overhearing a crowd of that demographic screaming amongst each other about things that I could care less about. That feeling of complete unrelatability made me cringe inside.
Very insightful comment! Thank you for that.
This is a really great comment and I hope people take the time to read! I came to your conclusions a little over a year ago. Men simply have not met their “finding myself” arc that women have. And a lot of them are completely NOT open to it and actively fight against it, fight against therapy, they DONT fight against the things they were told growing up about men and “manhood”, they dont question any of it, and even fight to re-brainwash women. It’s so bizarre looking at them from “this side.” I was just pondering yesterday at the park, how fkn hard it is and almost unrealistic to think you’ll find that ONE person that you can align with enough to spend THE REST of your life with. And not in just a roommate and bill-splitting capacity, but I mean truly love someone and be able to build a functioning life with them. Monogamy just seems so unrealistic to me. I’ve had enough toxicity to know it’s just not worth it just to say you have someone and to not “be alone.” I think a lot of women, myself included, have our lizard brains too. “Oh he’s so hot, he probably know how to fckk.” But the second you talk to the guy and he starts yapping you just get immediately turned off. I decided I’m going to focus and spend my time building my career, assets, bank account and enriching myself spiritually, mentally and emotionally and if I meet someone along the way and we mesh well, wonderful. Otherwise, I can’t fuss over it.
Couldn't agree more, when one is no longer in fear of being alone and actually has standards and doesn't mind their own company it becomes difficult to find a companion to share that with. I think the perpetuation of fear has been the leading driver of toxic monogamy. Instilling fear that you may lose your mating qualities and you'll end up miserable and alone. I think its truly sad and I pity those who cannot simply enjoy life, music, art, books, food, creation without conforming/performing to these roles. Its ultimately an intimate dance with facing ones own existence and what meaning or purpose you derive from it. What doesn't make sense to me is why people are so worried about what other people are doing and what they find meaningful or not.
I want to preface by stating that I vehemently dislike both militant anti-natalism and militant pro-natalism. I'm an unmarried heterosexual woman who has no kids. However, I am in a relationship and have been for the past 8 years.
I am a libertarian with mostly right-leaning views and I am subscribed to numerous conservative youtube channels and some with a more liberal bias. What I find mildly troubling about conservative commentators is when discussing the childlessness phenomenon, they often present a dichotomy wherein you either 1. live the traditional life of marriage and procreation, and therefore your life becomes meaningful and fulfilling or 2. you stay single and/or childless and live a selfish and vapid life of myopic consumerism and hedonism. They will illustrate this dichotomy by cherry-picking tiktok (or whatever social media) video clips of single individuals or unmarried couples who spend their leisure time playing video games or going to clubs. As if those are the only lifestyles a person could possibly lead? I don't see anything about being unmarried and not having children that would inherently result in a existence of living a life vicariously through manufactured entertainment and not caring about that which exists beyond one's nose.
There are a number of possible reasons as to why someone does not have children, either through choice or otherwise. Economic reasons are an obvious one. The complexities and nuances of individual circumstances are worth taking into consideration. Sure, some people enjoy the single and childless life because they have more free time to engage in activities which are, arguably, shallow and pointless, like going to nightclubs until 2 am and slutting it up with a new guy every week. (By the way, I hate hookup culture). But some people choose to not have children because they want more free time to dedicate towards activities which they enjoy, such as intellectual and creative pursuits or physical fitness. You can also be unmarried and/or childless but still perform community service or involve yourself in programs which help children, so again, there is nothing about not having children which makes someone anti-child.
Frankly, I see nothing wrong with this. Perhaps I have a somewhat wrong idea about selfishness, but I do not perceive selfishness as bad or evil by default so long as your personal choices do not infringe on the liberty of other people. I work out at the gym for 2 hours per day, minimum 4 days per week. Is this selfish? Maybe. I do this for my personal health and satisfaction with my appearance, but by going to the gym, I'm not taking anything tangible away from someone else.
As I see it, the current phenomenon of childlessness, which is apparently growing, is a result of shifts in cultural expectations and values as well as the fact that humans have longer life expectancies, and so do not feel as pressured to achieve certain life milestones within a particular time constraint. The declining birthrates in the population is something worth considering. The reason pro-natalism is being pushed is because when a certain phenomenon becomes normalized to the point that it denoramlizes its opposite, then the "other side" sees no other choice but to swing the pendulum in the other direction, so to speak, so as to re-establish an equilibrium. But then other questions arise such as, how would we incentivize people to have children even when they do not rationally believe it is the right choice for them?
To the OP, I completely understand your particularity when choosing potential romantic partners. It is clear, from the comments I have seen you post on this channel that you are a very intelligent man with an affinity for the English language, so you have every right to be picky. I am sure you will find your match some day.
@@samreenasyed123 I agree with some of that. However, I dont agree that monogamy is toxic. With the exception of spousal or partner abuse, in which case it is completely justified to end a marriage or relationship, I think it shows integrity to stay with one partner long term. Maybe it's cliched, but relationships require work and sacrifice. The fear of losing one's mating qualities is a valid one, but when you're married to or in a relationship with someone you have to put in some effort to stay physically attractive and interesting for your partner.
As a man, I feel quite bad for Julia and the young Christian woman. They did not deserve such high-profile vitriol in response to fairly benign social media posts. I don't know why some men have such a vendetta against women. I myself have never had a girlfriend and generally never receive interest from women, but I know that hatred isn't the answer and will just end up poisoning myself and the people I interact with. I used to spend a lot of time in the manosphere, where the "modern women" is built up into a kind of boogeyman. And when you hardly interact with women, or at least don't receive interest from them, it's easy to buy into reductive scapegoating and ignore the wider network of factors that contribute to the issue that is making you upset (including your own poor decisions, as difficult as that might be to accept).
I made the decision to stop spending time in the manosphere, feeling that it wasn't contributing to my growth but was instead making me feel like a helpless victim and causing me to antagonize an entire demographic of people (i.e young women) based on nothing more than social media posts and generalizations from other men. I can honestly say that leaving the manosphere behind has been very good for me. I've been reading actual books from the library and have learnt so much more from doing so than I ever did from the manosphere. One of the current books is a self-help psychology book called "Mastering Adulthood" that teaches mindfulness, in which I observe my thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and use journalling to help identify the future direction I want to take my life in. This is the kind of knowledge that us young men need: the ability to observe ourselves without reacting to what we observe, whereas manosphere content _relies on_ and _rewards_ emotional reactivity from male audiences.
I have taken out several other books from the library, and in just a span of a week have replaced nearly all of my RUclips/Reddit time with the habit of reading. I'm even reading my book inbetween sets at the gym and it feels so much better than when I browsed my phone during that time. I honestly don't even want to use the internet for leisure anymore, books are so much more rewarding in my opinion.
My advice to men reading this is to stop looking to the manosphere for advice, most of it is unhelpful and relies on farming your negative emotions for the sake of generating revenue and followers for those content creators. Instead, read books and find other activities that make you feel peaceful inside. Don't let these internet vultures rob you of any more inner peace than they already have.
as a 18 yr old woman, thank you so much for this comment. You sound like an amazing guy and i am sure that you will find somebody amazing for you!! Guys who left nasty comments directed at that Julia creator, don't realize that no young, good woman would be with somebody like that who shamed another woman to death and called her all sorts of names just for being 30 and single... If a guy talked about another human being like that in front of me, my 18 yr old self would be disgusted and leave immediately. Idk why they think that young women find that nasty ish attractive. They just see a huge red flag and leave. I am sure in the same way, no young man is gonna respect;love a woman that bashes any man who isn't 6 foot, even tho that man himself might be 6 foot. Good people just in general want other decent, respectful people
Every 17-18 year old young man should read this. Back in 2019 at 18 I stumbled upon the Manospehere and in 2020 it was crazy to see what was going on. I left in 2022 and now at 22 I recently transferred from community college to a university. If any of these Manospehere Andrew Tate followers went to my university and tried that all that rubbish the girls wouldn’t talk them or give them any attention.
My post war family was working class, and there were five of us kids. We struggled. My dad refused to “allow” my mother to work. She wanted to. We were old enough to not need her constant care. I remember one time my mom worked from home doing phone marketing. He mocked her so much, she had to quit. As a kid, I never understood that. We would have been so much better off financially, and my folks would not have fought so much over money, if my WWII mentality father didn’t harangue her for wanting to contribute. When my parents divorced, he married a woman who had a career. She continued to work after having my half brother. Back then women didn’t earn much money, and pink collar jobs were about the only thing my mom knew, plus my mother was alone with five kids. Whenever we kids found work, it was a given that we contributed
Your poor mum.
Rather a good example why women choose to be single, and live life on their own terms.
I got a hysterectomy last year. I've never wanted kids and the idea of pregnancy itself makes me ill. I have friends with kids and I'm happy for them, they wanted something deeply and got it and that's amazing. It's funny though as someone childless by choice watching the people that think women all want these things and are settling for less while I live a happy fulfilling life without, and many do. Some people aren't built to want or need kids. A society that has multiple kinds of people is better than a fully homogenized system of operation.
Also I've never seen men in their late 20's- early 30's without kids being treated with the same sort of contempt.
I have 3 kids between 3 and 6 years old. I envy Shakshuka girl. I don't regret the kids, but god damn. I totally get just enjoying your damn freedom without spending your soul on top of everything else life demands of us.
It gets better! I have big kids. I don't envy shakshuka girl but if she's happy why pity her, either?
Please God people, only have kids if you want them 🙏🏻 DO NOT force your FOMO onto your children because you had them before you were ready. We need to END the cycle of bad parenting, which means we need good parents only.
As a nearly 29yo single gyal in London, this video was well timed to pull me out of an existential spiral so thanks, solid content as always 🤝
Well I am a 39 years old woman never been married with no children and I am fine. My mother, my aunts and their friends, it's another story.
I think we need to also admit marriage is also never this perfect experience. Men and society at large never feel safe unless they feel they have full control of women.
When I see comments like this I know these red pill guys are right.
@@slardebard God misleads those who he wishes to mislead. Please , be my guest. I am curious though as to which part you disagree with? If it is the first part I am sorry to break it to you but marriage is never perfect. If it is the latter, I would ask why large parts of society still dont want women to have abortions or even to have birth control? Why large numbers of people still dont want women to be able to vote? All i can say is if you are to follow the red pill path do so WHOLE HEARTEDLY and give it 100%. Be genuine and LIVE IT everyday. Nothing is worse than a FAKE radical. So live it ...tell your family and friends and be 100% red pill everyday. Be the BEST red piller you can be. And I wish you nothing but the very best in life.
@@silverkitty2503 victim
@@slardebard If you are going to go walk the red pilled path at least promise me and yourself this one thing. Be the BEST red piller you can be. Embrace it wholeheartedly and fully live it breathe it. Spread it like you might the bible. Live its rules and advice. Do it 100%. When one meets someone who believes a totally diff path from themselves the only thing we can do is lead that person home. Be the MOST red pilled man you can be although I dont advise it but I wish you all the best.
@@slardebardperhaps you could try to understand other perspectives without stereotyping over half of the worlds population
Thank you so much for talking about this and for doing it in such a nuanced, sensible and honest way. We really need conversations like this right now.
I feel so bad for that girl just trying to live her best Saturday life. Why is everybody hating on her?
Because she is living life on her own terms
"Please read a history book...any history book."
Yes.
Great analysis. I specially love how you debunk the perceived norm to be the anomaly that it was (still is).
I loved this video!!! Especially the point she made about the economic society becoming anti family. Ive been commenting this in other comment threads for a long time. We are plagued with dating talking points such as "be the provider man" "women should want to stay at home and raise the kids." Well, we are in beginning stages financially where the average guy and person can not afford to support a stay at home lifestyle unless they work their asses off in an unhealthy and unstable way. We will start seeing relationships, if standards stay like this, will become something that only the top 10 percent or high class can afford and engage in. There are many people that are just fine with this because they believe their lifestyles and standards of living is what keeps society going and are what is needed to raise kids and keep the status quo.
You are such a breath of fresh air, Kid. Thank you.
Watched the whole thing in one go. Feeling so grateful for you and your presence online today 💝
I appreciate this video. Me and my soon to be wife do want kids, but we went into our relationship with that understanding. Communication people! Plenty of our friends don’t want kids, and we don’t shame them and they don’t shame us. Imagine that
I'm reminded of this lovely comic/poem I read sharing a story about two brothers. When their farther dies, the eldest one stays home, gets married and runs the family farm, while the other leaves and journeys on his own. Many years late, they meet again as old men and the story continues:
"He told his brother of farming life: no adventures - only work and strife.
Oh, how he dreamt of the open road and how he felt trapped in his abode
The brother told of the life he led, of the long and weary road he said:
Many lonely nights in driving rain, 'twas a single thought that kept me sane:
That my brother was home, safe and warm. A loving home, far from rain and storm.
Hard work I could stand, but this I swear: the days alone were too much to bear.
His heart grew sad as he bowed his head, and to his brother, the elder said:
What a tragic tale then, for us two: that you had not my place, and I you.
His brother sighed, then smiled wide, thought for a moment, before he replied:
You've missed the point of this little tale. For I'll tell you brother, without fail:
Whoever would roam, whoever would stay, we both would regret it, either way."
The Journey By Corey Mohler. You can find his work on existentialcomics.com 😊
Great video Kid!!!!❤❤❤
i love how people view 30 as old. You see this in different ways of how we "evaluate" men and women. For women its frequently to child rearing. For men, its things like athleticism. You see this in the sports world a ton. Once an athlete turns to 30 its "hes done"
Truee.. You actually summed it up perfectly...And even if people wouldn't date or hire(when it comes to sport) somebody that's over 30 or whatever, i just will never understand the need to go out of your way, shame and say disgusting, inhumane things to that person.. That's also why i will never understand the mindset of a bully.. Like i just don't get what benefit does being cruel for no reason, have on your life..
I love when masks are off and conservatives say that a woman's life is meaningless without children. Ultimately they never stopped and will never stop seeing women as breeding stock.
As for the women themselves who got offended by that tiktok with a childless 29 year old...no one who is actually happy and content with their life choices has such a meltdown about the choices of others. They act as the most effective childfree ad and don't understand it.
Its true, men work harder, for longer and die earlier. Men are the most economically efficient beings and we know that. women live forever, benefit more from social programs, and try to work as little as possible
I completely agree with all points here. My only concern is when a women in particular is able to achieve these things, especially at a younger age, and is then made to be ashamed for it. Being called too young, too immature, someone who made poor choices. I think this debate shifts depending on where you live. I see more bashing of younger women who do get married because it's not the norm, nor the aspiration of many (at least thats what they claim). Career and self achievement is much more important. I think this is one of those things when as a woman, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, not everyone will support you, wether you get married young or are old and unmarried.
It’s not your average men that are shaming them for either one though. Average man just wants a faithful wife and a family. The average man is having trouble getting that at any age right now.
@@jofieji5312 That is a good point, usually it's women who make comments to each other about this, which makes sense because the ones who shame are often insecure in themselves.
I think for men the difficulty lies with money especially, the traditional lifestyle requires so much money and things are so expensive these days while jobs don't pay enough, you have to be very strategic and focused to succeed in a career, after that I think it'll be easier finding a partner because she will feel comfortable to start a family. Media has negatively affected both men's and women's perception of each other too. There are good men and women out there, but are so hard to find, it's worth remembering that the worst of a group are most often the loudest/ most visible so people need a keen eye to spot a genuinely good partner
@@jofieji5312 Do you think it’s easy to find a faithful man as well to start families with. Don’t fall for the bs that few men are cheaters.....
@@jofieji5312 Not our problem. They need to be better men if they want us to give them the time of day.
@@tinycatfromhell your average 20 year old guy is a pretty decent guy. You say need to be better men? All throughout human history men and women have partnered off found love and families. Your rebuttal is probably well women were forced to “patriarchy” women had roles they were forced to do and couldn’t leave. Which ok fine but so did men. Now women have complete freedom yet y’all can’t seem to choose good men lol
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counsellor, and how do i reach her?
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
Sorry for your loss man, hope you see some better times ahead.
10:16 If the average person writes 4.4 tweets/day and from June 2013, Matt has written 16.9 tweets/day, isn't he staring at a little glowing box all day, which is soul crashing, in his own words?
Also how does he find the time to have his life revolve around his family like he thinks she should do at 10:07 with such an abnormal tweeter consumption for self amusement?
Is he enlightened enough to realise how depressive this is, yet? He is definitely a messenger of rage.
12:10 Doesn't Allie have a show where she glorifies self centeredness? Aka her religious beliefs? She doesn't seem to include the rest of the Christians as a devoted Calvinist.
So what's the problem?
12:26 Tim pool says she has no purpose, yet she does the same thing he does but on a more personal and life changing level.
Women thank her everyday for how her podcast has enlightened them on their path to self discovery and in making authentic decisions.
Not like Tim Pool who regurgitates news from other channels, where's his wisdom? Whose life has he changed?
Does he even know how to make shakshuka or is he on fast food?
12:51 I think Rachel Wilson just gave us permission to tell her NO and shame her..."m'am it's bad to bully women and encourage bullying towards them "...
and I hope she keeps her promise to positively respond to shaming and improve,
because this tactic that she wants to be used on innocent women just because they won't have children like she wants them to, only applies to her.
13:01 of course watching Beyonce , and sleeping in doesn't come close to the love of a child. Does she know what else doesn't come close to the love of a child ?
Her tweet and many other things that we do everyday, enjoy doing and keep doing. So what's her point?
And by the way Ruby Franke would disagree.
To make it easier, all those people should make an extra child on behalf of all the women they are criticising for not having children, since they took it so personal.
You’re insane. Her whole page is anti family/ anti children she could just say and show herself having a good time. Instead she has to focus on how good of a time she’s having while specifically being child free. It’s pathetic to play victim when you literally based your content on something like that.
Regarding Tim Pool, he's criticising the lack of purpose of the life she says she's living
well, tweeting is part of his job.
@@pikapi6993 his family should come before his job, that's the only way his life can revolve around his family like he advises. Unless he is married to his job like the career women they all bash.
@@dearbrave4183 you're being facetious at this point. There is a difference between having a career and being a career person and you know it.
Man, it doesn't need to be that serious. The guys do whatever they want married or single, now we're doing whatever we want too. I don't see what these people are making such a fuss about🥱🎮
Amen
As someone who has two children what I tell everyone who asks is this: if I had known how hard it would actually be to raise children I wouldn't have had them. While I love them from the bottom of my heart and would never leave them I urge everyone to only have children if you're 100% sure that you genuinely want to and I respect and completely understand people who don't want to have children. I'm very critical of the glorified representation of parenthood on social media because it immensely influenced my desire to have children.
Haha it's obvious all those negative comments were left by parents seething with jealousy.
As a genxer, I think we are “mad” at y’all because you have choices. Life just happened to most of us and we figured it out. In our attempt to raise y’all to have a childhood and choices, we created what we envy. Choice. I’m so incredibly happy for my adult baby millennial and elder Gen z offspring, I’m also wowed that they can make choices I couldn’t. Or that I didn’t think I could. We’re talking gender identity, marriage, kids, college, jobs….all of it.
Gender identity? Lol
Gen z really doesn’t have a choice of marriage. There are more single people than ever and that’s not by choice. Gen Z’s college choice is either make less money or go to college and be in massive debt. Gen z doesnt have great choice for jobs and especially housing
Forgot to say Gen Z doesn’t have a choice of kids. Nobody is having kids. We have an aging and shrinking population crisis which is the worst in Korea, Japan and italy
Aren't you worried that the choices of those men and women will lead to some kind of crash or political/geopolitical change? I kinda am after reading a lot about the issue. Our kids will reap the storm. No democracy and freedom, economic crash, no help from the state because no taxes. It is going to affect each and every part of our society.
I wish I didn't have those choices. I wish someone else could have sorted out things like marriage or jobs for me. I feel like I would have achieved so much more in the time I've lived on this Earth if I hadn't just been left to my own devices by everyone.
As a parent, Shakshouka girl is right. Count your blessings and enjoy life on your terms.