Hair is EVERYTHING. But why?!?!
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
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0:00 Introduction
1:41 Thank you MDhair!
4:56 Hair is too political
14:02 Storytime: Why I wear wigs (and shame)
25:25 Hair vis à vis attractiveness
- SOURCES -
radar.auctr.edu/islandora/obj...
daily.jstor.org/how-natural-b...
www.jstor.org/stable/26505328...
www.psychologytoday.com/gb/bl...
marinamaral.com/in-color-slav...
www.researchgate.net/publicat...
link.springer.com/article/10....
www.vogue.co.uk/beauty/galler...
daily.jstor.org/how-natural-b...
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Have you ever checked to see if you have hard water in your house? Been seeing a few vids about how hard water(high mineral content water) can wreak havoc on hair and skin of all types.
I use hair clips and coincidentally have been dealing with the stress of breaking up with my boyfriend.... least to say the hair clips have done some damage from using them for five years in the same spots on my head and I've got some crazy bald spot action going on now. My mom saw it the other day and frantically asked if I was pulling out my hair, I couldn't even process everything and replied with, "I DON'T THINK SO!?!", I mean, I don't think the stress is helping but I noticed the balls spot before the relationship and it's only in the spot I have the clips in consistently. Was thinking of just shaving the sides cause although fancy expensive products sound nice, I lost my job recently and can't even afford rent. Haven't been able to pay the electric in months. Though now that I think about it, a shaved head will probably cut my chances at getting a job. Anyways, good luck with selling those hair products, I'm sure there are quite a few people who can afford them.
Hi, great video! You might need to replace your bitly URL in this comment with the one in the video description.
Cheers.
Hey Kidology, I think 'Don't touch my hair' by Emma Dabiri offers a very interesting perspective on this topic ! :)
When people can’t come up with a real reason to dislike you, they often just go for looks or hair. It’s just a sign of their inner demons.
This!!!
It’s an easy and often truthful way to insult people with bad scratchy hair
@@divinegon4671 care to elaborate or do you just feel called out by the comment, babe🤭
@@PeteZaroll551 you seem like a homosexual
@@divinegon4671L troll attempt
When I cut my hair, a lot of male co-workers told me or expressed that they were sad because I have short hair now (it wasn't that short, I always have chin length hair). Why on earth that I wake up every day, exist- just to impress a man? My hair is mine and I treat it how I want
I had locs for 6 years, cut them, and it was always men who had really nothing to do with me commenting “I wish you would’ve kept your locs. I like them”… SO WHAT I DIDNT WANT THEM THEYRE GONE!!!
Same. Men in my office were the only ones to comment on it. It was weird.
I feel the same way about women why should i earn alot of and shower just to impress a vvoman
@@delonthomas48womem say the same thing to me everytime i shave my beard
@@mickey875shower? babes we dont shower to impress other people thats just self hygiene what lmaoo
I have my hair to my knees. I had long hair for a long time, which means a lot. When I started working in an office, my manager had such a fit because she wanted my hair up all the time. She scolded me like a child in front of my coworker during a presentation in front of our leadership just because I had my hair down. After our presentation, the administration told us we did a fantastic job. And my hair was never mentioned. Sometimes, people attack your hair because they are jealous or want to push their insecurities onto you.
Omg that's so rude
Yeahh the problem is her and not your hair!
well what about your hair huh ? Since when having straight long hair is such a problem ?You are really off topic. Like patriarchy always representend women with your hair, they still prefer women with straight hair and hate black women's hair. What do you know about hair struggles ? What a joke seriously !!
I wish I had knee length hair
And a lot of times is racism when it comes to Black Women hair
I’m a woman with androgenetic alopecia - ‘male pattern baldness’. I’m sooooo sick of being pushed endless brands and kinds of shampoos, supplements, treatments, super expensive devices, natural oils, toppers, hair extension, wigs etc.I went along with it for many years, but now I’m sick of it! Why I do have to look like I have full hair? Why can’t I just be me and feel great?!? Whyyyy? It’s an illness, there is no medication or cure for it, so why do I still have to hide it? I’m exhausted!!! 😢
Same, but I do hide it. Ironically, nobody said a word when I hid it with straight hair. Flip to braids and 4c clip in’s and people have something to say. It is exhausting.
You don’t have to hide it, you can show your hair situation and accept that it will affect how attractive people find you. Why you may ask? …Biology. Unfortunately
Me too. But I hide it with fake hair.
My heart goes out to women with alopecia. I think we are more understanding of bald men but it’s still a shock to see a young bald woman
Same. I’m so sick of rude comments from hair dressers and people trying to sell me a solution for a an issue when the solutions do not work.
What's wrong with women having an haircut that is "just for the girls"? What's so bad about women doing things that "no men find attractive"?
I don't know why but I always get more irritated when it's another woman bashing other women for not fitting into any of the standards that the society has set for us.
I asked this very thing the other day... then I shaved my head, after growing my locs for 7 years. I have no regrets. In fact, I feel free. ☺️😁
@@RashidaLeeLa That's beautiful. I think feeling free and liberating is one of the best thing you can feel about yourself.
I'm someone whose hair never goes pass the shoulder. Got enough of negative comments about short haired women.
Well as she mentioned, she also didn't get any job interviews. Which means also non-romantic interactions will also be negatively impacted. Same way people automatically treat hot people better even if they don't want to "date" them. Having more "attractive" hair and make up will change how the world treats you. By both men AND women. This also effects both men and women.
You should look into the Crown Act in the USA. For centuries and even present day, Black Americans have been discriminated against at work, school, in sports etc. for wearing our hair naturally as it grows out or our scalp. Essentially the further from white hair your hair looks, the more instances of disdain you’d experience.
The Crown Act was enacted to combat hair discrimination, and even so, out of 51 states, it is only enacted in 24 states. This is why African Americans get very personal when it comes to hair. We’ve been hurt for simply existing natural.
You know there are only 50 states right? Maybe you get discriminated against because you're just dumb.
@@mindpilotthepilot9140I don’t know if you’re American or not, but many refer to the 51st state as Puerto Rico, as it is a US territory and they are US citizens.
@@MsBonkers2011it's still just a territory
@@raw5889no just thing as a territory it’s a flat out colony
Exactly my comment! It is fine and valid to view your hair as your own personal experience. But it's critically important to realize that the further your hair strays from whiteness, there are real meaningful consequences enacted against black black americans systemically. In which natural white hair is deemed the default, and natural black hair is deemed unnatural.
I remember crying as a kid because my hair didnt look good and I was terrified about going to school, I got it fixed, and then went to school and all the white girls had their messy buns on, and some straight up unbrushed completely, made me realize the double standards related to Black women vs lighter ones. Ever since shaving my head for confidence reasons, I've been pretty consistently misgendered. Because apparently, you can't be a queer woman with short hair 🧐🤯
... or maybe you just have a masculine face and build?
@@morgianasartre6709 awe, you're so so sweetly misogynist, like the kids I work with! Now , it's okay for people to look different than what you'd expect! They are still *human* . Thank you 🥰 also, no. Hilariously I look like a child because of my face 😐 innocent big ol eyes I've been told 😐 but I hate when people say shit like that to me 🥰
@mikorisheridan6769 nothing the person said before was misogynistic. It was just a question. There are plenty of women who have features that can be seen as more masculine. I for one have broader shoulders than most woman my height and size.
Along with that, many people may not know you identify as a woman depending on how you carry yourself. Not saying ppl are right to assume but you can't blame them for not knowing what you are if they don't know you. 🤷
@@mikorisheridan6769 It's a bit weird that you imply being mistaken for a male means somehow people are treating you as non-human, do you hate men or smth? People can look how they want to but if you present with traditionally male features you can't just blame people for assuming, real life is not reddit where assuming someones gender is some huge crime, assuming is a basic part of human psyche, we literally couldn't function if we never assumed anything. I was mistaken for a boy as a kid but I really did have short hair, chubby face and wore my brother's clothes, were all the adults that mistook me for a boy until I opened my mouth mysoginists? No, and if you are so inclined to think everyone just has some agenda against you and women all the time, maybe consider discussing that with a mental health professional.
Dude. You sound SO self hating. And so SO uneducated.
I shaved my hair off a year ago (my natural hair is 4C) and literally yesterday while I was fabric shopping the shop clerk asked me why I shaved my hair as if their was a specific 'reason'. I told him I shaved it because I wanted to and it shocked him, it surprised me that its hard for people to understand that. No I am not sick , no my hair wasn't damaged I just got tired of spendng hours on my hair, putting in braids and faux locks and wanted to spend more of my time living and focusing on my physical health, I also save a lot of money also. Shaving my hair felt practical and comfortable I love my shaved head!
I did the same earlier this year and for the same reasons. I can tell u, there’s no sense of freedom like a shaved head!
@@vallendior honestly !! That first shower with a shaved head is amazing!
What is 4c hair? Sorry I am white 🤷🏼♀️
@@gypsylee333 the hair type kidology has
@@chante41 well I can't tell she's wearing a wig she said. So just like typical black woman hair where it's black and had that texture? Is it more color or texture thing?
Women who judge their own value by men’s desire for them will usually have brutally miserable golden years, especially Whyte women. Trust when I say, get a personality and a life of your own so as you age you can still feel worthy.
Theres truth in what youre saying, but naturally, most of us are seeking affection and intimacy from the opposite sex. I agree that people should be comfortable with who they are, but far too often, people run in the complete opposite direction and go re-re trying to prove that they dont need attention or desire from the opposite sex, thus, repressing their very nature and creating a mental and emotional conflict at the deepest levels.
@maniac50ae14 I disagree. Why compromise your aesthetic and personality when you can search for someone irl or on the internet and find someone who will like you and accept you as you see yourself and want to project yourself to other people? If you haven't found the one, keep looking. It gets harder if you're looking to depend on someone emotionally or financially asap, I don't suggest codependency.
The statement "brutally miserable golden years" is a little odd to me. We all age so the years 25-55 will of course by all means be better than the years 55-85...
@@danny.nedelk0 Well, life is full of compromises, we have finite time and abilities and will never get to explore every inch of our desires or will, so we do have to compromise... first off. Second, im not saying "dont be you" or "dont express yourself", please express yourself with full honesty. But what i am saying is that, just because your image or expression on some level simulataneously acts as a means to attract the opposite sex, doesnt make it wrong and is nothing to feel ashamed about. Doing things to attract the opposite sex is as natural as searching for food. I also want to say that yes, being unique is great, but being unique and hard to pin down for the sake of being unique will also leave you lost, alone and fighting ghost.
imo, people that insinuate theres something wrong with attempting to appeal to the opposite sex, are bo different than the christians and muslims that attempt to make people feel guilty for wanting se(x). Most of the time, people that are hung up on "expressing" themselves have deep-seated emotional issues.
@@Munchausenification not op but theres a certain kind of white lady who had a ton of privilege thru beauty, but never interrogated it or maybe even realized it. But all that privilege goes away at the drop of a pin as soon as the 1st wrinkle sets in….. the carriage turns into a pumpkin…. and that drops you in a dark, dark place. Because now they realize no one loved them for who they were, they were just objects.
Ever since I stopped wearing makeup/wigs/nail polish/piercings/uncomfortable clothes I've never been happier. I think it's like the lobster boiling - you don't realize how much all of these things are making you uncomfortable until you get used to not having them. I struggle to feel as good about myself anymore because I did get way more attention before. But mostly it's such a relief. I just wear a few pieces of comfortable/non-fidgety or fragile jewelry and spend some time on my natural hair and focus on curating my clothes to be comfortable and beautiful to help my self confidence.
That is very beautiful way of living.
I’m very similar. I wear a small amount of makeup, wear my hair in easy natural styles like buns or a crown braid or an Afro, and focus on comfortable, well-curated and quality clothing. I’ve never been taken less seriously, because I don’t give the general public any other baseline. I tried wearing wigs in the workplace for a bit and it just made me self-conscious about what I would do if it looked fake or when I would inevitably have to take it off. Only when I introduce the enhancements do I get concerned/self conscious. Cutting it all out entirely is the only way to stay sane imo
Not me, when I was in jail and had all those things taken from me I about lost my mind. I bought the $10 $1 lipstick from commissary and even used the worst razors ever made in all of humanity to try to shave my legs, my nail polish was slowly growing out looked like a gremlin 😭😖
@@gypsylee333 I’m so sorry you had your freedom of expression and even ability to have basic grooming! You bring up a very important point.It’s impossible for not having those things to feel liberating if you didn’t have a choice in the matter.
@@Lahiwe thank you, makes you appreciate the little things when you go through that at least 🤷🏼♀️☺️
I am a white woman with naturally straight blonde hair and I love wearing wigs. Nobody around me understands me, but I have no shame lol. My mom and my fiance are against me wearing wigs, but I still sometimes do it. They just make me feel confident. You look beautiful in your wigs and with your natural hair by the way!
As a fellow 4c girl, you shouldn't be combing your hair with such a narrow toothed comb, especially dry. I haven't watched the entire video but there will never be a justification to me to continuously hide our hair- we should be going on the offensive when society bullies us about a natural, harmless feature
According to her we just need to "accept our fate"
Yes you need to let sit some leave in or treatment and use a wider tooth comb.
Comb? Have you ever tried ditching the comb entirely and just using fingers to groom thick, coily hair? My greatest freedom with my hair came not from finding the widest tooth comb or strongest pick, but discovering my fingers were the perfect grooming tool for my hair.
I noticed that she combed it so roughly....we must treat our hair (and all parts of our body) with love and care...
I agree with the comments,
try being more gentle with your hair. Comb it in sections.
You’ll be ripping out the growth as it comes in.
I understand that no one showed you how to to do your hair when you were growing up but that’s where practice will help and trying different techniques.
Your scalp is probably itchy because it’s irritated with the harsh combing.
I’ve been on the longest hair journey and I don’t think it’ll ever end. What ever works for one person doesn’t always work for everyone else, so I’ve started making my own shampoo and hair products and they have helped me massively.
Would have loved for you to touch on the "type" of wig being chosen rather than wig or no wig. Like humans, wigs come in all different forms. There are wigs that mimic "natural" black hair that is long but with curls/coils. I think a discussion around the choice to exclusively wear straight hair wigs would have been interesting. This is coming from a black girl who had relaxed straight hair for decades, straight hair weave for all of university, went natural in 2020, and now coming up on 2 years with locs.
Yes!!!
That's silly. You just want to put her on the spot. We know why straight wigs are chosen though many people also prefer kinky. The cruelty to black people is such that they are forced to conform and may not be hired if they don't pretend to have straight hair.
I love how honest you were. As black women we are damned if we do damned if we don’t. I am someone who for the most part has been seen as attractive but there is a very obvious difference in treatment and attraction to me when I wear my natural hair. Plan and simple most people do not appreciate Afro textured hair. When I was single the thought of dating with my natural hair was genuinely anxiety inducing. It’s already hard enough dating as a black woman do I want to make it harder for myself by having my Afro textured hair out? No
I hate that it has to be that way and this doesn’t necessarily make me like my hair anymore when you know society does not like it ether 🫤.
We have the most unique hair out of all the races which is cool within its self but sometimes people just want to blend in. We all want to be liked. You brought a level of compassion to this conversation that is often missing ❤
That's why is hard to believe you'd wear 'hair conforming to the beauty standards', without acknowledging the why
@@eryabolonha"The why"... Exactly! It matters
Yea I feel the same way... it always seems like long straight sleek is seen as more attractive... And more feminine.
So you would rather start a relationship with someone who wouldn't find you attractive wearing your natural hair texture?
@@MisyeDiVre no it's not that... it's just that if we're honest... most of us feel these ways. But just like someone overweight may want someone to love them with the weight... they may not get the attention of someone who could grow to love them with some weight because they aren't seen with the weight already on. Hard truths that even I had to accept about the world and the places we live. Image is a lot of the times- Every thing. And yes it's unfortunate. But play the game... don't get played.
Hi from South Africa :) I always value your balanced take on topics. After Miss SA Zozibini tunzi stepped on to the Miss Universe stage with her short natural hair and won the pageant - she reclaimed much territory in SA for our women i think. After her, many women gained the confidence to show their natural hair in a beauty pageant and that to me was a win for everyone. For once we could show that hair (or hairstyle) was not everything - if anything it was just something that added together with the rest of your beauty :) I am proud of my country for evolving in this arena. It also was a moment for me personally to accept myself and revel in the fact that my beauty is unique to me and I do not need to compare with others because my beauty is part of MY Journey through life - not theirs. In the same way their beauty is for the purposes of their life and journey - not mine - so i should never get caught up trying to please others if I have not first found peace within my own body and self.
Zozi 👑✨
Zozibini is absolutely stunning. The beauty standards for black women in southern Africa are , thankfully different to a degree from those in western societies. I feel so sorry for the black girls on shows like Love Island.
Zozibini won the pageant, but I’m not sure that it would translate to the beauty standards held up outside the pageant, where it actually matters for everyone who isn’t a model. The Miss Universe judges can have a political statement by choosing a winner that deviates from the beauty standards, but if no one else hops on the bandwagon, it’s only gonna remain a “See? Miss Universe places importance on different kinds of beauty” AD for them.
As an aside, this is why I think the fat positive/acceptance movement has trouble as well, because you can make “supporting fat people” cool, and have overweight models win in pageants as well to make your point, but you can’t make “dating fat people”, “becoming a fat person”, “hiring a fat person for a job that places heavy importance on looks” etc cool for the average person, which is where it really matters…
@@T.C556 I absolutely agree hey - the beauty standards on those shows are downright cruel.
@@TadanoCandy with increasing westernisation, the more ‘traditional’ standard of black beauty may be changing in Southern Africa but it’s not as bad as it is in say America or the UK.Zozibini’s win would definitely help validate girls who rock natural short hair and I definitely thought she was a worthy winner and not just a political choice. Similarly seeing a gorgeous dark skinned, natural haired Lupita as the heroine in a big screen production like Black Panther is also affirming.
Incoming suggestions re type 4 hair, skip if you don't care: detangle coily hair only while wet and preferably while hair has conditioner in it. Comb from the bottom of the hair shaft to the top until comb or brush can glide through with little issue, then rinse out conditioner with cool water. ❤
Thank you ❤
I suggest finding RUclipsrs that have YOUR kind of hair. I’m 4c and green beauty channel, naturally high, and nappyfu have been my go tos. Especially green beauty channel- she’s a scientist by profession and explains using science why certain ingredients/ techniques work (or don’t) for type 4 hair.
I have no relation to being a black woman and the struggles with hair in that sense, but as a white dude that always had bad hair since i remember being a person and since I started losing it at 18 years old, the importance of hair in our day to day lifes has not left me. Having bad hair in your early 20's can destroy your confidence and makes people see you with different eyes. And it's not like i cam wear wigs to hide it since it's not acceptable by anyone that a hetero dude wears wigs.i just have to deal with it. I had friendship, romantic relationships and job opportunities completely change and/or end because of having a bald spot so young. Its not easy. It has been one of the many sources of my depression and isolation.
I hate that male balding is treated as a joke
Maybe you can feel more confident and powerful if you shave it all off?
You're right that a lot of people ridicule men for wearing wigs.
It shouldn't be that way
Men have been wearing wigs for thousands of years
first off, just wanna say your natural hair is stunning.
also, i think that the politicizing of black hair is a symptom of the rules and laws that exist around it. yes, we do it to ourselves but i think it’s in response to how hard it is externally. like you said, job and dating opportunities open up with different hair. schools, sports and offices have “dress” codes that often exclude black hair styles and its totally legal to do so. there’s often a lot of negative connotation surrounding black hair. from everyone.
i think the way we police our hair is more because we’ve adapted to how our hair has been politicized in the world around us. we’re all victim to it, regardless of how personal we’d like our hair journeys to be.
You asked for a male perspective so here it is! 😂 (for reference I am 23 year old Texan)
Last year I shaved my head just for fun, and I noticed that my my hairline was receding in the front. This threw me off because my Dad’s side of the family is rich in thick healthy hair, (my 81 year old grandfather has more hair on his head than me currently.) After learning this I have been on a hair deep dive, and I know more about hair than I ever wanted to, I’ve been doing stuff like micro needling and applying topical mix of oils like Peppermint, Rosemary and Pumpkin, but honestly that hasn’t been helping as far as I can tell, because I have less hair now than last year. Part of me is now considering Finasteride, but it bothers me that i’d have to take a drug in order to keep my hair, and I can’t justify spending thousands on hair surgery just so I can ‘look’ a particular way. Wigs are thing but I do HVAC for a living, and wearing a toupee in 160 degree attics doesn’t sound that appealing, plus It just feels phony of me to wear one. I don’t judge you at all for wearing a wig, (or any guy who would) I COMPLETELY understand it, I just personally won’t wear one.
I’m growing comfortable with having buzz cut for the rest of my life, because that’s just what’s naturally happening to me, if I have to be a bald guy than so be it :) but since I’ve still got quite a bit on my head, I’m holding on to my hair for as long as I can 😁
Finasteride causes lots of side effects including permanent erectile dysfunction. Doctors and pharma downplay how prevalent these effects are so please be careful!
You might already know this since you went on a hair deep dive, but in case you don't: Men don't inherit baldness from their fathers, it comes from their mothers. If a woman inherits her father's baldness gene, she herself won't be affected but she can pass it on to her sons.
Good luck on your hair journey!
You can apply finasteride topically onto the scalp. It has been found to be quite effective at stopping DHT related hairloss. Try it with a minoxidil solution such Rogain. I'm 35 and started thinning on top and at the temples. These two inredients have reversed my hairloss 10 years. Catch it while you're young. I simply crush my finasteride pill and mix it into water and apply to my scalp
My (White) father never went bald, but his father and all of his brothers did. From my mother's side almost all men are bald. I am extremely terrified of balding, even though it would "liberate" me of my irritating hair.
@@-haclong2366 I'm considering suicide due to hair loss right now
Kidologys natural hair is so beautiful and really cute 🥺 we must protect her at all cost
Omg yes it is so freaking cute. I like her wigs too. I would encourage Kid to find a way to start loving herself.
as soon as i saw i was stumped why she’d want to hide it but as someone with natural hair i instantly understood
It’s so beautiful and cute that she wears a wig
The wig she chooses to wear all the time is ugly as sin. LOL
It made her face pop prettily too. She looked lovely.
I'm a guy. I started balding in my late 20s, so I just said fuck it and shaved it all. I never had a haircut that I liked and honestly it was a blessing in disguise as it saved me a lot of money and time. I think that if by magic my hairline went back to where it was when I was a teen, I would still shave it anyway.
I know society is fucked and pressures women immensely, which seems exhausting. I have seen many bald or very short haired women that I find absolutely beautiful. I think it has much more to do with the whole package and if you can "pull it off". I totally agree with your assessment of comfort, because I think that people that "own it" whatever "it" is are more attractive in general.
Very well said. Im autistic and my sensory issues make having hair really annoying (even short) and i REALLY want to shave it but im scared of how people will treat me (im still probably gonna do it lol)
❤❤
@@ohitsthem7601I'm also autistic, I'd say try an undercut before shaving it all off completely.
If you keep the hair on top long eventually you'll be able to braid it, which looks badass.
@@B-I-G-N-A-S-T-Y tysm! To late tho lmao. Although before i completely shaved it, i shaved the sides first and it did look really cool, i may do that next (⌐■ᴗ■)
I buzzed my hair once and left a small comb at the center on top. I looked like a cute little baby 👶
I did it because I had been over sexualized and made a target by my disgusting married boss at work, being the gorgeous babe that I was at the time.
I quit that job anyway but I low-key enjoyed the temporary asexual baby feeling that my new hairstyle gave me. I dunno, it kind of made me feel safe. Men stopped hitting on me, including married ones.
I'd do it again but nowadays I'm trying to look pretty so I can find a compatible Catholic husband before I hit menopause 😂
I feel your pain. I loathe being hit on by married men.
I love this attitude LOL. You're so cool for that! (love from a gen z
I had a rebellious stage and decided at 17 I was going to shave my head. I’m a bw and this was the late 90’s. Height of weave culture and I had enough. I was tired of hiding tracks or worrying about my hair so I went to a barber and got a fade. I LOVED it. But In doing this I lost some “friends” and became a bit of a spectacle in my area. But it was the single most freeing decision I had made. I didn’t care what boys, my parents, employers or anyone else thought. I wanted to live with the hair that grew out of my head naturally. I haven’t looked back.. and I’m almost in my mid 40’s. Whatever makes you feel good and comfortable is always the right choice. No one else’s opinion matters.
"Do you wear wigs?"
"No, I do not."
"Have you worn wigs?"
"No, I have not."
"Will you wear wigs?"
"... maybe!"
"When will you wear wigs?!"
*looses it*
Who gets the inside joke?
Im japanese and live in japan, and I definitely get the sense that bob cuts and other short cuts are WAAAAAAAY more popular here than in the US
I think you’re such a gem to find on this website, you’re so intelligent, considerate, and incredibly empathetic to taking in every single person’s perspective, and then you relay your observations so well. Thanks for all the work ya do! 😊
You look great, be it with a wig, a weave or your natural hair. Don't talk yourself down 💕 If you want to learn how to care for your natural hair, you can do that, if you don't, that's more than fine too. Please don't pay any mind to the negative comments on your hair. They truly hold no substance and are most probably from immature people.
Your commentary is always so interesting.
I am polar opposite... I get semi-"insecure" when I wear wigs🤷🏾♀️ My esteem is BOOSTED when I wear my low/shaved hair cut. I smile more and carry myself more freely.
I hope that girls/ women embrace whatever makes them happy and comfortable 💚
Gurl! only PICK your hair wet/damp not dry!!! The only comb you should use is a wide tooth comb, but again only when your hair is wet!
This is one of the reasons why I will grow my dreadlocks out until they touch the ground. I want to be an example that it’s okay to wear natural hair and still get the respect you deserve, because it’s my natural hair and I’m not letting society or media make me feel bad for having the kind of hair I do.
Absolutely. I think her hair is beautiful. It's thick and black. All she needs to do is put it in some braids and it will grow out beautifully.
I’m a Black American woman and I had no idea you wore a wig! Do you and whatever you feel comfortable with. It really is no one else’s business.
I grew up in diverse communities and have always had natural hair (braids, locs, fros, etc). I, somehow, never knew having natural hair was a thing to feel weird about until I was in my 30s, when I started to hop on the internet more often. I think the environment you grow up in makes a difference.
I’m glad my hair was never a thing I cared what other people thought about it. I did what I liked and what was convenient.
I made it through the developmental phase of life and never knew my hair was something I was supposed to have big, bad feelings about.
Now I have sisterlocs because I like them and they’re easy for me to keep up and look pretty. My hubby, who is a WM, loves my hair and has even tried to learn to redo my loca in case we have a daughter or son who wants help with their hair (in case they take after m in that regard). People compliment me on my hair literally every time I go out.
I can honestly say I’m a BW who has only ever had positive associations with my natural hair.
My husband who is 41, has the thickest most full head of hair I have ever seen and it means nothing to him 😂
On the other hand I have very fine and thin hair and am worried about losing my hair as I get older, something he doesn’t worry about at all. I’m so jealous! 😅
Because my hair is so flat and thin there’s very little I can do with it and have donned wigs many times. Sometimes wigs are just a lot easier to deal with than ones own natural hair that is often times beyond styling.
If only you could switch scalps! 😂 you should keep on enjoying wigs ❤
I am a 43-year-old female and have had scarring hair loss for 22 years. Folliculitis decalvans. The chronic inflammation slowly eats through the scalp, destroys all hair roots and only scars remain. That's why I've been shaving off the remaining hair regularly for 15 years. With baldness I feel better, I can take better care of my scalp and I never have a bad hair day. I learned the hard way that hair isn't everything that matters in life.
Thank you for your very interesting and informative video essay 😊
Your natural hair is as adorable as you are! Love your tiny fro, but you do what makes you feel best. Nobody's bizness but your own! 😍
Lol not to police you or anything but comments like “tiny fro” just triggered me lmao I remember in high school I had shoulder length hair and some one called it a tiny fro and I wanted to kill myself right then and there 😂😂
This video really delves into the complexities of assimilation and its struggles. It’s interesting to see how sometimes, our own attempts to adapt can be misinterpreted by others within the community as a disregard for our shared identity, rather than a means of environmental survival.
PS. Mayowa’s World is an amazing channel on the discourse of hair and anti-blackness. Definitely recommend.
I'm black/latino and my hair is not "typical black hair"--it's wavy with big curls and I tend to keep it long. it's interesting because there are tons of light-skinned black and mixed black/white people who are several shades lighter than me but who have "typical" black hair and are seen as black whereas I'm far more racially ambiguous.
also, I'll say this: we Americans--white, black, liberal, conservative, gay, straight, doesn't matter--love to tell other people from other countries who they are. we're the world's police and we have zero qualms explaining other people's own identities to them. whether it's george w bush "bringing freedom" to Iraq or black Americans telling you you have "internalized white supremacy," we know best and we're not afraid to let everyone know it. we really are the most arrogant people in the world. so, really, don't take what American scolds say about you too seriously.
💯💯💯💯💯. What do you call it; identity/racesplaining?
self-awarness is key
Or Obama during the 2014 Ukrainian neo nazi coup detat, with Biden being next to him. The things US Americans say about the world when they have no idea what's going on outside the US...
Well she told you from her own mouth she doesn't wear wigs for style or fashion but because she's embarrassed of her real hair and wants to be accepted. And that's not us projecting an identity on her. When you're embarrassed of the hair that grows out your scalp you're embarrassed of who you are.
@@raw5889 No she isn't. She just wants to be treated better. If a guy gets a hair transplant because he's balding does that he's embarrassed to be seen as who he is?
Nonsense, he thinks that he'll be more attractive. If a man starts to work out more regularly it's not because he's embarrassed but because he wants to pull more women.
Women dye their hair blonde and wear hair extensions because they get a more positive response from other people, esp men.
People get plastic surgery all the time, so why are you making Kidology the exception to this, by calling her embarrassed by who she is? What a nonsense. I wonder what it's motivated by.
Very refreshing and satisfying to see you in your natural form. It's a shame black women aren't more appreciated. I date a natural 4C and I'm quite content.
As always, you're video's make me think. I got basically murdered on a daily basis as a boy with curly red hair. I rarely even think about my hair now as an old man, but that kind of bullying could hurt like nothing else as a kid. Honestly, getting physically bullied was very much preferred over having people laughing at a mean girls joke about my hair.
To me, that's the core of the issue. People can find something different about another person and they can use that to try to crush that person and presumably gain some kind of status from it. They know the power it has if they can get others to back them. Like the lady making fun of short hair. It's not enough for her to just say she doesn't like it. She seems to want to project her opinion onto everyone else and get others to jump in with her, because that's where the real power is.
I can't speak for other men, but I think short hair can look amazing on women. But even if I thought it was the ugliest thing on earth, wear your hair how you want to wear it. to hell with what me or anyone else thinks.
I am a man with long blonde hair. To be honest, I get a lot of confidence from my hair. I rarely saw men with long hair growing up and no one had it at school.
I feel for my friends who are balding and I know it really affects their self image, especially on their bad days 😭
Thank you for being so vulnerable in this video! My experience with hair might be relatable to someone out there - my mom dyed my hair blonde from the age of 12! I didn't enjoy having to sit at the hairdressers for hours getting it bleached every few months. 6 years later, when I was old enough, I convinced her I wanted to trim it and let my natural hair color grow back. My mother took it very hard. She cried when I cut it because she had such an attachment to the idea of me having blonde hair - then when it started growing back she accused me of dying it darker (I am not sure why this was a bad thing!) which was not true. I love my hair now!
irony is that the stigma is perpetuated. I was surprised by kid's perspective in supporting that "hair is everything." The more we place importance of what women's hair looks like in society, the more power we give it? I'm just curious where this goes. if it ever will become less. if we can start the movement to view others by their internal identity over aesthetics... if someone is kind and has hygene isn't that enough? this feels like lessons learned as children but full grown adults these days want a monopoly of power to critique others from a false sense of superiority. the irony again, is that it is supported.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Fun fact: 99% of people with outstandingly beautiful hair you see just have extensions
100% agree with you.
All the natural girls with long hair don't have the same wow factor as those who have added extensions in. When I realized this, I stopped having long hair envy.
Depends on what you see as "outstandingly beautiful". To me that means curly short hair, which is usually natural.
@@MK-hh1vo true, I meant mostly long hair that is healthy and shiny throughout, because it’s hard to maintain the ends healthy the longer the hair gets
Beauty standards are a part of attraction. If Afro hair was the standard it would be attractive worldwide.
it's not the standard for a reason
@@iknow2145 Should be the standard in mostly Black nations.
I have extremely thick and somewhat long 4aish hair that I often where in a pineapple style as that's the style I enjoy it the most and most comfortable to me and yes hair IS everything.
It's impacted how I'm treated which was really tough considering I didn't have the funds or knowledge to "tame" it growing up in my teens. I would constantly get comments about it, with them often being so contradictory, it's so confusing and you never know how you're going to be perceived because there is such as array of opinions I get on it.
Funny story yesterday I was walking to Sainsbury's and I have my hair in mini twists at the moment, I walked past these two ladies and their dogs where one started growling randomly (not even sure at me), no word of a lie, I heard one of them go, "it's probably because of the hair" 🤷🏾♀️ that's what we deal with if you have natural hair.
Also as someone who grew up in Caribbean households, I grew up constantly being told my hair was unruly and I should gel it down. Natural hair wasn't often seen as a good look. Hair that was straightened was idealised. I'll never forget going to school with my Afro and my family being like why do you look like that, only to go to my mostly white school where some of the girls complimented it earnestly and said it looks better than I usually had it (it did). But then my friends will call me sideshow Bob from Simpson lol. It's so normal to get side eyes in one hour then to have strangers approach you and tell you how "healthy and amazing" my hair is.
you see how maddening it is to have all this thought and unsolicited opinion on ONE part of you?
Playing “I am not my hair” by India arie as a kid, really influenced my thoughts on hair as an adult. It is a useless measure of value we put on one another 😢
❤❤❤
oh man, with everything you said from not being raised caring for your natural hair and relaxing it to spending hours taking care of your wigs but not natural hair/not caring for what’s under the wig I RELATE SOOO MUCH TO. i couldn’t care less for my natural hair. i rocked my afro for a good 3 yrs but in the last year i’ve only worn wigs and consistently shave off my natural hair. i am a black, white and filipino mixed woman and grew up getting my hair relaxed constantly and straightening it constantly. i just relate and really appreciate you
The fact that you were so vulnerable and raw in this video really makes me respect and have compassion for you. No one can judge you because they haven’t walked in your shoes, remember that always
You are of course entitled to your feelings about your hair, but I would just like to say that your natural hair is beautiful x
Great video. But your dislike for your natural hair is definitely due to political or eurocentric world view and beauty standards. It's not just personal. You were conditioned to feel that way by the culture you live in, that's the problem.
Omg! I’ve been contemplating this question for my entire existence! When I was little my mom wouldn’t let me leave the house until my hair was “perfect”. As I grew up, she constantly criticized my appearance and my hair was a huge focal point. I had serious anxiety about my hair for most of my life. Its hard to know what you want when the people that raise and influence you have nothing but nasty things to say. I came realize that how I “should” look is up to me. My hair is none one’s business but my own. If my hair is messy who cares?! If it’s long or short or curly or straight, it doesn’t matter. I just wish people would just live and let live. Life is short. Do what makes you happy. Hair is just so trivial and if someone wants to judge me because they don’t like my hair, I frankly don’t give a flying f@&k.
I am almost 60 and my mom still wants to attack my hair with scissors. Had boy hair cuts growing up and my attempts to grow it at a young age was thwarted... was constantly told it was a "rat's nest."
Hair is not so trivial when its being judged means the difference between employment and not being hired.
20:30 thank you for being honest.❤
It's like pulling teeth for it .
My mom processed her hair and wore wigs because she worked in corporate. Her cousin did it because of the same reason you do. I haven't seen some of my cousins natural hair since they were children.
One factor people ignore is the upbringing. When the cousins I mentioned were forced (yes forced) to process their hair, they resisted. Now they think the brightly colored lace fronts look better.
Fortunately that mindset wasn't sustainable in our household and I had a hard time not blurting out the first thing to cross my mind.
Using this as an opportunity to say locking my 4c hair was the best decision I ever made, I feel natural but dont have to concern myself with detangling or a bunch of products, or hot stuffy wigs. I think we look regal with any type of locs because its what our hair wants to do. Would highly recommend!
your hair is so cute and omg you'll be happy to know 4c hair can get away with not using combs at all..pretty please try finger detangling. Would love to see more for your real hair it looks sooo fluffy
Im bolding as a 21 year old man... fully given up on it. Soon i will have to look like either a creep, a crazy person or be known as the bold guy with no hair.
You would never think it could happend to you
Sending hugs
I feel bad cos I have 2 bald spots at 20 due to trichotillomania
I'm using minoxidil topical solution alongside a 0.5 needle length derma roller. I just started, so I don't know if it will work, but you can try it out(?)
@@damnedifidonuttry rosemary oil it is proven to work as well as 2% rogaine
I'm a white Brazilian guy with 4C curly hair, my grandmother is black but she always used a hot iron to straighten her hair, so I was also never educated on alternative ways of taking care of mime. I was always ashamed of how it made me less "white" but also still not "black" enough. Only today, at the age of 26, I am able to explore and understand my options.
As a hijabi, the topic of hair is a very vast yet delicate one. On one hand, I had struggled with the hijab for years, the only reason j continued to wear it was because i didnt know what to do with my hair otherwise. Later on as my faith grew, I found solace in the hijab and surprisingly liberation as well, from women moreso than men. Hair truly is everything and I think the reasoning behind God's legislations about the hijab could be intricate, though I've now reached a stage when the reasoning no longer matters. It brings me peace.
Im a hiiabi too and like you i also struggled with my hijab at first, mostly because i lived in a hot and humid country and i had really bad heat tolerance. But now its grown on me. I often thought about the deeper reasons about why hijab was mandated. Personally i think it is mainly to keep us detached from worldly desires. Hair provides women with another dimension of beauty. That beauty might make us more entangled with this life where we worry too much about how we look instead of focusing on the afterlife.
You look cute with your natural hair.. I’ve grown up constantly hearing a woman’s hair is her beauty.. I had a thick head of hair that went past my butt but then when I was 12 my mother forced me to cut it.. it never recovered.. someone actually had the nerve to tell me once that it wasn’t cause of getting it cut.. hair is so personal that I was flabbergasted that someone would have the nerve to tell me about experience
Your hair never recovering sounds like a traumatic response to your mother forcing you to cut your hair. What a terrible thing to do. Did she have a severe case of jealousy?
@@rejectionisprotection4448 funny you should say that cause I’ve only recently in the past few weeks thought that it might have been jealousy.. I just always thought that it was because she was leaving us behind to go abroad and didn’t have the patience to teach me how to take care of my hair. I remember just sitting there when it was being cut with tears streaming down my face.. they cut all of my hair off to the point where the final length was above my ear.. I felt ugly and honestly have since.. I’m 41 now and let me tell you I’ve had nothing but hair struggles since. Hair is an extension of you senses.. your antenna if you will as the Native Americans believe.. I do think it plays a very important role in your whole make up as a person..Anyway I’m finally learn to love and embrace my hair and all of me slowly.. Thanks for your kind words and understanding.. they’ve brought a bit of healing to me somehow ❤️
With all due respect, I don’t quite get how you’re hair never grew again? Unless you have a hair condition ofc, because hair naturally grows half an inch a month. So anything else would be “unnatural”
I've had long hair since a very young age and as I grew more independent it's gradually gone from just long to absurdly long, when I was young I got mistaken for a girl a lot, I was once told I'd look a lot better with short back and sides and far from feeling insecure it made me even keener to keep it long, when it comes to products I casually experiment with different shampoos, conditioners and sprays but I can't say I ever find myself going to the lengths I hear a lot of women go to when it comes to their hair concerns.
When it comes to attractiveness in women I really have very little preference when it comes to hair, I'm not in any way trying to avoid sounding shallow but when it comes to a woman's appearance, hair is just a bit of a non-factor, I can understand where a lot of the politicisation of hair comes from, in an ideal society we wouldn't punish people for their natural appearance but it's also one of those brutal blue pills versus black pill issues, ideally you shouldn't feel like trash for something that's not actually hurting anyone but sadly the rest of the world is quite happy to make you feel that way so it's not really fair to tell people just to ignore it.
As a guy, I can agree that hair is everything. I lost all the confidence I ever had when I started losing my hair at 21. Thirty years later I'm less bothered but I still mourn the loss and I would be so happy if I had it back.
I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability in this video. I have locs now but when I was a loose natural, while my hair was short I got a lot of nasty comments and for me it was all from fellow black folks. Even though I had super kinky hair, I feel like when it was medium to long in length, you can do more for example put it in buns, ponytails…slicking… hiding. I feel like for black women length is everything that we are judged by. I used to wear clip in extensions or wigs that were my hair texture but just longer and EVERYONE stayed talking about my hair (positively). It actually annoyed the hell out of me.
I don’t believe in the hair typing system but as for those that are 4C…. If it’s long they’re mostly left alone. People might be like “your hair would be super long if you straightened it.” I hate to say it, but I do believe that judging black people against western standards of beauty is the reason why long hair has us in a chokehold 😂.
I want for hair to become neutral, just like I want bodies to be neutral. I want it to just be…. That’s easier said that done of course. I had so much hair anxiety when I was a teenager and it was always because of fellow black people. We really need to have more empathy and understanding for people and stop gaslighting them (which is what many black people do to women who don’t show their natural hair because they don’t like how it looks).
You admitted in this video that you wear wigs because you don’t like your hair and I used to not like mine too and I feel that is the case for many black women, but because we are shamed for admitting that, other things are said. “I like to switch it up,” “I’m protecting my hair,”….and whatever else. I wish you luck on your journey to liking/accepting your natural hair. I want more of us to be honest and to be met with support and empathy rather than shaming tactics and being accused of wanting to be white and whatever other nonsense.
Growing up in the South (USA) I was taught men had to short hair, or an Afro. I was an anime kid and wanted anime hair, which meant relaxing and blue hair gel (forgive me lord). I may have course corrected too hard. I now have dreadlocks the length of my torso.
I am in the same boat of not understanding hair. I just started the video as I type this but I can say that hair has also been a sore spot for me. But I will say that we have different hair insecurities, as I am white. I was diagnosed with androgenetic alopecia. This is not the standard of alopecia where clumps of hair falls out but rather where my hair roots starts to shrink, basically balding. I have male-like balding on the top of my head as a 21 year old woman. My aunt made a comment about my hair part widening when I was 18 and ever since I’ve seen how my hair has thinned. I’ve been treating it for about two years at this point and there is improvement but it still is not perfect. I compare myself to every person I see with stunning thick hair and I worry no one would be interested in me for having thinning hair as a young woman. I am considering wearing wigs but it hurts to even consider that, but I know many people do so every day and it is normal. There will be one day where I will decide to just let my hair go, because treatment is life long. I always envisioned myself being that cool old woman with long flowing grey hair but now I see I won’t have what I envision. I’ve always dreamed about having super long hair and when I had my super thick hair I was trying to grow it out but decided to get a pixie cut, which I regret. But yes, my hair insecurity ties into how I feel this lack of femininity around myself. I have never felt feminine, even with longer thicker hair. And now that I don’t have my hair anymore, I feel even less attached to femininity and thus worthiness of finding a partner. It is crazy how important this aspect is to us in society.
I have always been in awe of Black hair though. It’s very beautiful to me and offers such a wide variety of unique hairstyles that represent individuals. I usually don’t feel jealous towards straight hair, I miss my thick curly hair a lot.
As someone with an androgen problem (but not with hairloss as a major symptom) my heart pours out to you! I'm a black woman, and hair has been such a struggle for me in a different way. I want you to know that I see you, and all the women like us know what it feels like to not feel feminine. Femininity is a trap, but it is not held only in our hair! I'm definitely not telling you to chase the impossible dream of ultra-femininity, but I found solace and comfort in the things that I could control and felt natural to me. It's funny because my recent boyfriend of just half a year now tells me all the time that I look feminine, despite me not thinking so due to hirsutism and my facial features. I learned that men wont think you are masculine because of your hair or general looks. I don't even wear pink or dresses haha. Femininity is really an "aura about you" that people can feel. Please take care, you ARE worthy :)
@@nagisa9147 Thank you for such a kind message! Really made my day when I first read it :) I agree that femininity is definitely an aura too, I need to remind myself that. You take care as well!!
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable in this one. Unfortunately our (black) hair is political because of the history of treatment we've received behind it and as much as we dont want to engage with that reality, it is reality after all. Racism, colorism, and white supremacy has everything to do with how we interact with our hair and others' hair as black women and we unfortunately don't really have a choice to disconnect from that.
I wish you the very best on your journey of love and acceptance for your natural hair, its a journey a lot of us 4C girlies have to embark on at some point in life. I, along with so many of us, are on that journey with you. I don't think its ever truly over but the more of us that engage with that journey - the more love and support we can put out into the world and share with each other.
This perspective is quite intriguing, and it's a viewpoint I hadn't previously considered. Having been raised in South Africa and still residing here, it's not unusual to see black women with different hairstyles including bald hairstyles. Personally, I can't recall the last time I let my hair grow; I prefer to keep it very short.
Kid, your natural hair is so beautiful and it fits your face so perfectly
This was a fascinating dive into a topic that I don't think gets talked about often enough from this lens. As a melanated individual I had the same struggle coming to terms with the hair that I do have and frankly I feel I might still be struggling. When the simple act of thinking about experimenting with your hair texture can be miscontrued as rampant self hatred, what else is there to do but sit and stew in what is undoubtedly messing with your self esteem?
I found later on that part of me was, in truth, trying to escape myself out of hatred. But not that of the self but of those around me. Some part of my mind would replay the trauma I had experienced in my early development every time I looked in the mirror and I would be left asked myself why I would want to stay looking at someone so reminiscent of my abusers. It's a work in progress every day to remind myself that the black diaspora is indeed NOT a monolith.
I truly feel like at this point we as black women need to dissenter ourselves from the way our hair looks and how it feels and what others think of our hair. It should not matter how you wear your hair if it’s relaxed, natural in braids, wigs, shaved bald, do what makes you feel happy ❤
Saw you on triggernometry and really was impressed. I’m an older woman with shoulder length blonde hair. My mothers generation , when they got to the age of 40 or thereabouts were really required to cut off their locks. I saw this as the way society told us that we were no longer attractive sexually and it was now time to fade into the background. Hair was a huge indicator of how women were perceived. Bad enough that we women at the menopause age are considered irrelevant, invisible and redundant. So my hair is long and I am doing exactly what I want with the way I present myself to the world.I feel good like this and that’s what counts. Do what makes you feel happy not what society tells you.
This video really brought to mind the 'issue' of body hair. I was thinking how most people view men's leg hair completely neutrally - neither ugly nor beautiful - it just happens to be there. Whereas with a woman, her leg hair is almost a symbol of having failed at being a woman, or failing at hygiene. It is considered so ugly that people take open offense to it. Something I've never really understood.
I wish that we could view women's body hair as neutrally as we view men's body hair. A woman might see a man's armpit or chest hair as unattractive - but is unlikely to view him not shaving it as a terrible unhygienic taboo. I wish people were allowed to have their preferences without fear of ridicule or shame. If you're a woman who doesn't shave you experience ridicule from men and women alike - but I've found women are much more open about it.
I've often looked to feminist communities who want to challenge this taboo - and I think they react to it by trying to shame the women who do shave. I don't think that's really an effective strategy to normalize body hair. It just makes women who shave really defensive because it's such a personal thing. (and they shave for very understandable reasons, considering the way society treats women's body hair) I think it will be a long time before people will ever be normal about this subject tbh.
@@fluxonite4254Yeah but Women get way more bs for body hair. It's not a competition, just a fact 😂
There are always exceptions and technicalities... but when it comes to leg and armpit hair: people rarely have things to say to men, and they often have things to say to Women...
I agree. Freedom of speech and all... but I wish more people would exercise their freedom to shut up 😂
As a bald guy - just be happy to have hair - its a wonderful thing to express yourself. I'm lucky to look fine bald and it didnt hurt my life - but its still a fantastic thing to have hair whether curly or straight
As someone with Trichotillomania, my hair has been the centre of my whole life, it's been my biggest downfall, my biggest fear and insecurities. It look me shaving it all off and just saying "f*ck you" to everyone who judged me for it (mainly men) to make me realise its just hair. It will always just be hair.
I quite literally just watched your nose vid, and I got so excited to see another show up as I finished!
(Also, as a person with fringe that literally does what it wants, when it wants, I understand your frustration with the wig, but it looks so cute imo!)
This is so interesting / heartbreaking as another BW. I'm in the states so I've never had a picture on my resume.
I've worn my hair short (frequently shaved) for most of my adult life. Last year I had a lot of stress about wanting to be conventionally attractive, and to me the way to attain that was to have longer hair. I'm not great at wigs so I had loc extensions. Suddenly I was visible to lots of people who wouldn't give me a second glance with my bald head, or my short natural hair.
Men were flirting with me. One told me I wasn't going to leave a venue without kissing him. I didn't pay for my drinks at a comedy show. A man threatened me on public transport after telling me how pretty my mouth was.
I shaved it all off again. I felt like my body belonged to the public when I was more attractive. I felt like I owed people something.
I remember reading something similar about a white brunette woman, feeling a bit depressed and, on a friend's advice, dyed her hair blonde. She immediately got so much more attention from men;
which depressed her even more.
Another (white) woman had lost a lot of weight and found men writing her love poems and approaching her far more than she felt comfortable with.
She started putting weight back on.
You'll sometimes find women who are overweight have suffered sexual assault and so the weight forms a kind of protection for them. "Overweight is overlooked".
Your experience is far from uncommon and makes a lot of sense, esp if the attention becomes overwhelming.
YTuber Starpuppy made a very good video on the type of attention she got and who she got it from depending on how she wore her hair.
I am an average looking man with better-than-average hair. As such, I keep my hair pompadour length. When I have cut my hair very short in the past, I feel like Sampson from the Bible stripped of his glory after he was shorn of his locks. I enjoy the compliments, most of which I receive from male strangers whilst in public. As the one above-average physical trait I possess, my hair and I are unapologetically grateful.
Went bald late twenties a decade ago. I’m so grateful for the variety of styles nowadays, I’m fairly creative and hate the idea of being pigeonholed into a tough guy stereotype. When I lost it at first, it felt like staring my own mortality in the face for the first time, a first real sign of aging, but I honestly couldn’t care now, nevertheless I still get comments every now and again. It seems to me that many people care because they believe everyone else does.
😭heartbreaking. I really wish we could just have our hair without consequences. It’s a lose lose situation. Wear wigs and ultimately be uncomfortable or have an afro and be alienated.
I'm bald... Have been for 18 years. I was insecure but it got better.
By choice or condition?
@@unknown-ie4hl condition, but I shave the remaining.
“Hair is not such a big deal”
*every woman with short/colored hair*
“OMG ITS A LIBERAL”
I'm a white southern American with wavy, frizzy, penny colored hair. I could never get my hair tame when I was a young and I remember crying actual tears of joy when my mom bought be a hair straightener when I was 14. Felt like I had to use it (or a curing iron) throughout most of middle and high school. Fast forward to now and I work in an office full time and have two small boys that would touch a curling iron or hair strainer in 10 seconds if I had it out. I have for years been looking for a quick way I can just wash my hair, spend 3 minutes on it and it looks decent. I have looked into the "curly girl method" and it honestly looks like a part time job to spend that amount of time on your hair. I always feel judged as heck by other women when my hair is frizzy or natural. Not trying to compare experiences at all, but frustration and judgement for your hair is something I think most of us can relate to on some level.
Its also been very interesting to hear people judging my 5 year old son on his bright red, wavy ringlet of hair. His hair is BEAUTIFUL and we always have elderly women comment how much they love it when he is out. For this reason we had never cut it above his chin because his hair was so cute. He was literally "hair goals", as the kids say. As soon as he started his first year of school he would come home begging for a haircut because boys would be mean to him about it. There have also been people in my family for years whispering to me that he needed a haircut. After much debate my husband and I had took to him to get a "boy" haircut and I miss his curls so badly. Its stinks that because he is a boy he cannot show off his hair like a girl could without feeling insecure.
I see what you’re saying and I think it is very valid. I do also think though that wearing straight wigs/weaves as a person with naturally kinky hair impacts the way you/others will see yourself. What you’re used to becomes your normal. I also struggle with my natural hair and how I perceive it, but as I wear my natural hair out that becomes how I recognize myself. I’m not saying this to tell you to change how u wear ur hair but rather just to explain why some ppl in the natural hair community push other black ppl to wear their natural hair OR wear curly/kinky weaves or extensions rather than straight ones :)
I’ve been blessed with thick wavy Mexican hair, but even in high school guys found a way to put me down for it - “‘yeah she has great hair but that’s all she had going for her”. Teens are cruel but my hair is something i can be proud of, even though it is the only thing i have going for me lol I’ll take it
I'm sure you got more than just your hair going for you, but that hair is something I always wish I had. My sisters both have that thick Mexican hair and I'm so envious with my thin ass curly hair - I curse my Spanish ancestors. Lol
Same I got teased for having thick wavy hair. Girls would ask me if it was a wig since the volume was extreme. 90s supermodels.😂 😢they would tell me I should just "Brush" my hair. Made me hate it, I would try to iron it straight.
Blessed?
@@ufaith_1majorly
Another brilliant, honest, and extremely insightful video.
As a side note, I (as a British black male if it is at all relevant) personally think that you look really attractive with your natural hair (thank you MDhair for enabling us to see it!) 👍🏾
Instead of you having insecurity about your hair texture because you were raised by white people, imagine that you have insecurity and a dislike of your skin color. This is not emotionally healthy.
I don't think that one necessarily has to be obsessed and flipping around doing cartwheels about their skin color or hair texture, but to dislike it should not be something that one just accepts without a lot of self reflection and healing.
There's nothing to dislike about your hair, all hair textures are beautiful. All skin colors are beautiful. If society has brainwashed you or anyone else into thinking that African features are ugly, this is a product of racism. Not something that should be accepted and internalized when you are in a position to recognize these things.
This was really informative, I never gave hair this much thought before, and female hair/ hair-loss isn’t a type of discussion that I’ve been exposed to. As a guy, I just hope my forehead doesn’t colonise my scalp.
Wow, I am blown away by your analysis here. You’ve managed to describe and critique a major societal issue that I’ve noticed for a while, but could never put into words. Keep up the good work.
I had no idea you wore a wig, but i think both versions of your hair are beautiful. Im glad you've found something that makes you happy and makes you feel super confident. 🖤
Wow I was just saying we needed a video like this after I watched your video about noses! Thanks for reading my mind 😂
I do believe that we've been brainwashed into thinking our hair is "so difficult to maintain". We, in the black community have fully absorbed that into our souls. We believe that everything about our hair is difficult and undesirable. I'm tired of hearing it...
We really need to work to unlearn that.
"I spend hours taking care of my wigs...but ZERO time on my natural hair..." 😒😒😒 That seems...ODD???
We have not been brainwashed. We have been treated cruelly and mocked for something that grows out of our scalps by everyone. But that's their problem not ours.
I'm a white guy from London, but I'm a practicing buddhist and often having a shaven head is a sign that emphasizes your 'buddhist-ness'. I do like my hair, and it's been growing out for a year or so since I last shaved it, but when I first did that I couldn't help noticing how people perceived me differently(just within british society).
I don't personally spend a lot of time thinking about hair and luckily feel quite comfy regardless of length, but when I've talked about shaving my full head of hair to people, i've received a surprising amount of shock and been told not to do it many times. I find this situation interesting given that buddhism-wise, it's a tradition based on letting go of your physical appearance to some extent, and being equal with your fellow buddhists. But when i've shaved my head it's been something that people comment on, even telling me after the fact that It looked better long( as if there's anything I can do lol ). I don't feel great caving to the idea that hair is everything, but I've definitely come to a conclusion something like that after these experiences.
Thanks for an interesting video :}
I'll give my 2 pence as someone who lives in London. Sometimes people's reactions are based around perception. I've noticed that there's still a strong association with white guys with shaved heads and neo-nazi skinheads.
♥️ Really interesting video, thank you for being so open. Hair is a sensitive topic, for sure. Appreciate you x
This was such an amazing and brave video to do. As an American black woman, I grew up getting relaxers, then during the “natural” trend time I did a transition to big chop, but continuously covered my hair with wigs and weaves for the past 10 years. I agree that hair is everything and such a personal topic! My hair is healthy and much longer now and I attempt to take care of it, but I don’t ever consider wearing it out as I just so much more prefer wearing the hair I buy 😂
For my curly hair to turn out good it takes sooooooo much work, product, time, not to mention perfect weather/humidity, not too much wind blowing, etc just to HOPE that it will turn out right and I’m not down for that. I like the predictability of my bundles.
Always a good day when Kidology posts a new video. Means I get to hear pure insights explained to me in elegant cursive.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my own relationship with my hair lately. I have 4c hair and stopped relaxing my hair 11 years ago. I never liked my hair growing up (even when relaxed) and I instantly wanted to be apart of the natural hair movement when I stumbled upon it. I yearned for the big, beautiful, thick fros I saw other black women have. Sadly, my hair has been a challenge for me and I’ve had many setbacks this past decade. I have fragile, fine strands, very tiny coils, and high shrinkage.
I’ve avoided wearing wigs and weaves due to wanting to be as “natural” as possible. But because I had such a hard time growing my hair out, not letting myself experiment with extra hair has felt limiting. Like I’m not having as much fun with my hair as I would like to, for the sake of being natural.
I’ve come to realize that, although I like how natural hair looks on me, I do not like how ALL natural hair styles look on me. And that is OK. I don’t like how a twa or awkward length hair looks on me. I don’t like how my hair looks in mini twists or braids (w/o extensions).
Doesn’t mean I hate natural hair period. Doesn’t mean I don’t like my blackness. Doesn’t mean I think those styles don’t look good on other women. I honestly just prefer how more length and volume frames my face.
I’ve shaved my head 3 times this past decade, not because I actually like that style, but because I was at a loss of what to do with my breaking hair (I’ve now stopped shaving it every time I have a setback lol). And despite not feeling pretty with that style, I still wore it out anyway.
Now though….I’m allowing myself to wear styles I genuinely like on me. Instead of telling myself to not wear certain things because it’s “not natural”. I just wore a wig out for the first time ever this week, and I’m enjoying it. I look forward to buying more wigs and actually having fun with different hairstyles.
In conclusion, do what makes YOU feel good.
This video has changed my perspective on this matter in a way I did not foresee. I’ve always been fairly pro natural, even when it comes to selecting a mate, but it now it seems a trivial parameter, and at the same time so impactful to the other person. I guess maybe I’m a little more sympathetic. Thanks Kid.
It’s a hard journey to learn to love our hair. It’s taken me many, many years of back and forth for me to learn to care for my hair and love it. Keep going, and whatever you decide it’s your choice ❤️
I haven’t finished the video yet just wanted to comment for the algorithm and bc I relate to this so much.
I’m a black woman living in the south US and I’ve always hated my hair. I always felt insecure bc my hair was short and kinky while all the girls in my class had long pretty glossy hair. I wondered why that couldn’t be me.
I’m 25 now and I embrace protective hairstyles (faux locs, braids, twists, etc.) because I work an office job at a university that’s predominantly white. It’s definitely been a journey trying to love my hair. Thank you for making this video, my natural hair looks a lot like yours.
Advice no one asked for but use wide tooth combs instead, the ones with narrow spaces rip afro textured hair out also jamaican black castor oil helps with growth esp at the edges. Combing 4c hair while dry is asking for all sorts of disaster
This. I gasped when I saw Zee comb her hair. Poor baby has been torturing herself all these years.😅
I'm a black man. For most of my adult life, I've simply cut my hair bald or nearly bald. I think I'm lucky that this is an acceptable hair style for black men for some time. In my younger years (teenager and early 20s), I had some preferences for black women's hair that I now know were informed by white society. I no longer have those preferences. I have some slight preferences now, but I generally keep them to myself, because I'm aware of all the pressure black women receive from various directions about how they should manage their hair. It really has no affect on whether I will find a black woman attractive these days. I respect their personal autonomy in making decisions about their hair based on their own aesthetic preferences and how they want to respond to the political/societal pressures about their hair, and I have no desire to add to any of that pressure.
Omg queen of regular uploads!