I think the reason why so many incels and manosphere guys feel the need to assert that this relationship is a sham, is because if they had to accept the fact that conventionally less attractive men can be with a more attractive woman, they can no longer blame their own looks as the reason why they're alone. And then they'd have to grapple with the realisation that hey, it's actually my shitty personality that's putting women off.
It's harder to change your personality than your looks. It takes a lot of energy and commitment so a lot of these manosphere guys are focused on looks because its easier to tackle than changing the basis of who they are and it's destroying them
Whats the point of ridiculous blanket statements like this who completely undermines womens influence and agency in the dating market? Did you not see the part of the videos where loads of women were throwing stones at this couple too just because of the guy's appereance?
Scott might not have been born with conventionally attractive features, but the guy clearly takes good care of himself. His hair is well done, his clothes is flattering on him and he seems fit. I don't think most guys realize how attractive that alone is
@@painunending4610of course it isn’t all, but it definitely puts them “above” people who don’t. Sometimes the reason they aren’t finding a s/o is because of their living area (certain cities or countries are much more difficult to mingle in depending on several factors), personalities, social interactions, ability to go after people they’re interested in etc. Also, sometimes it takes a while to find someone, it’s not really something you can rush.
@@higo4067 Yes, like I said it isn't that simple. You can do everything 'right' to put yourself above other people (which is a gross way of looking at it to be honest) and it may never work. Meanwhile someone may do the exact opposite and get what you want. Life is chaos
have you ever seen someone’s craziest “hear me out” crush? i’ve seen people admit online they are attracted to questionable tv/ movie/ video game characters that are not conventionally attractive, and sometimes not even human. it’s about demeanour, work ethic, talents, how someone talks, how they move, and so much more that makes up attraction.
i thought the same thing, people are out there going absolutely nuts because of some dusty, raggy old MONSTER from some anime or video game or whatever that has committed many attrocities but draw the line when someone's dating someone that doesn't match their level on the attractiveness scale. funny those things only happens on the internet, if i were to be disgusted at every couple that one was good looking and the other one wasn't i'd have no respect for couples formed by absolutely amazing people, including my own parents 💀💀
Reminds me of how people would judge me for the crushes I had. They would flat out just be like “ewe, you like him/her? They’re ugly, why?” like I didn’t realize I was choosing my potential partner based on YOUR preferences, but ok lol but of course even after explaining it they couldn’t comprehend that attraction goes further than just looks
I know Scott personally. I know his family, I used to be friends with his sister when i was in high school, Scott is a very solid, attentive dude, smart af, he makes bomb ass food and has a killer sense of humor and personality. When you know him in person, it makes sense that he bagged a baddie with a good head on her shoulders🤷🏽♀️ but a lot of men out here with their egos all hurt because they’re entitled and feel like they have something to offer that Scott doesn’t have. When the reality is, women prefer solid men who will make us feel good, respected and cherished over some misogynistic chad with no real qualities of humanity or empathy,who worries ab imaginary gold diggers of his imaginary “gold”, obsessed with body counts and has a shit ass personality, but men are gonna deflect and avoid that conversation at all costs and we all know that🤷🏽♀️
@@lolroflkartoffel123As a Filipino man who was born and raised in the west (by both Filipino parents), I also see the "white worship" thing. Growing up, we'd go to the Philippines on family visits and many of my cousins who, as still very young girls, would ask me to keep an eye out for a "nice white man" to introduce them to when they grew up. There's definitely also socio-economic opportunity implications that comes with life in the west, but the obsession branches deeper and further out than this. For the record, I'm not in the US, so this perspective is certainly not specific to America. Those things aside, there's great merit in this man for not having regressed down the incel path. Honestly, it raises a scorning mirror back up at people who look for anything to blame for their own circumstances other than doing some tough introspection and working towards growth. (Edit: typos)
It's sad that people think that this man should not deserve love because of this attractiveness. It really shows how much being physically attractive matters today. People forget that just being a good kind-hearted person with self confidence could attract people. This case really shows the tiktokification of standards in society and what people truly value.
People have slways done looks-matching and to be honest, I used to do that all the time… as a child. It’s a very simplistic and uninformed way to go about things, which is why it’s usually peoples in their teens and early 20s, or those in “redpill-esque” “life is biological impulse only, man club woman, pull to cave” types.
Honestly I get why she fell in love with him. He comes across as someone who is secure with himself, has a good sense of humour and charisma. When you fall in love with someone it genuinely is not a case of overlooking them not being physically attractive. Those unconventional features do become endearing and attractive because they are tied to a person you really adore.
@@PityOnlyFools I guess, but honestly I today's world I'm not going to judge that too harshly. I remember when people who found their partners on online dating websites were considered creepy because what weirdo goes trawling on the internet for a stranger to date? Dating has only gotten harder and harder, and specifically young people are more and more disconnected from each other. I would hate to be stuck in the Dating world in this climate. God, I'd even hate to be a young person just trying to make friendship connections. In this case it worked out, and it sounds like they were genuinely friends before they became romantic.
@@Returntonature145 I am talking about that person with those particular personality traits and how they carry themself are linked to that face and body. You love their smile, their physicality. My husband is not conventionally attractive, but to me he is extremely attractive. Before I met him if you had just shown me a photo of him I likely would not have considered him attractive, but being around him is different because for me there is just something about his nature and personality that "fits" him. And before it's mentioned, when we dated and got married we didn't have any money. We were just getting by week to week. The opposite can be true of conventionally attractive men: they could look beautiful but when you meet them that level of attractiveness disappears. I have never had a "type" when it comes to physical features and the people I dated all looked very different, but personality wise there are definite similarities between men I have dated.
Has anyone considered the fact this odd couple is a case of assortative mating? She could be insecure and chose him for his lack of attractiveness, knowing he would stay as a count of not being able to attract someone as hot as her. It’s a control phenomena.
I mean, at least with this first couple, she was pulling away from that kiss for a reason. We just don't know the true dynamics of the relationship to go about claiming the lady is "trapped" or he's forcing her to do something she doesnt want. It may be very well faked and they are both in on it for clout. It's bad acting either way, hard to believe they are a real couple. (still watching btw)
I think it shows how ableist society is by just jumping to "he's ugly she can do better" when he has a chronic illness...its like they're saying she deserves someone who doesn't have a disability/disease. It makes sense though because we often associate health and attractiveness with "high value" or nicer people.
this video makes me so upset. i have cystic fibrosis, a pancreatic and lung disease that causes stunt in growth, weight loss and pale skin. i fortunately have not experienced any of this as it is more prevalent in boys. luckily my little brother doesnt have cystic fibrosis but if he did have it and had the features i'd mentioned above and the internet was bullying him i'd hunt down everyone who hurt him. my disability doesnt define me and it shouldnt be the reason someone doesnt wanna be with me.
Yes, the ableist aspect is so prominent in this. Ableist society doesn’t see disabled people as equal, attractive or even as sexual beings or potential love interest. Just because we are disabled, no more reason to it. And this relationship shows, that there’s more to a person than just health. Being disabled is a part of you, but not your entire being. I am just very happy, that these two souls found each other (:
As a culture, we rarely show attractive and ugly people next to each other, let alone being in a relationship together. It gets to the point where I think people look at this couple, and see basically a cartoon crossover. To realities, with completely different artstyles, that somehow yet combine. I dare say, it triggers the uncanny valley effect in some people.
@Babycake. that is literally what I'm saying. Because there is no desire to depict or see "ugly people", we end up with a culture exclusively depicting hyper attractive people. I'm not telling anyone to change this, I just think it explains why people are so baffled when there is a romantic couple like this.
My perspective is that, Unattractive people are deemed inferior, I think attractive people seeing unattractive people loved and happy makes them very mad and jealous and gets them thinking “why don’t I have that”
Maybe its because it really isnt that common? I mean, studies have shown that people are most likely to date those who are on the same level of attractiveness as them. Also, the happiest couples (mostly who grew old together) are proven to have similar features
Just entered a relationship with a man who is significantly less conventionally attractive than me... i feel the stares tbh. Being a foreigner, I also feel that people judge me without knowing.. that they think im using him. He has less money than me, and i've been in this country for 10 years (meaning i have permanent residence) so, wth am i using him for? Truth is.. hes just nice. Kind, as he says it. Pure heart, full of care. Sees my insecurities and wants to help me leave them behind. He genuinely cares for me. Yes, he likes how i look, but hes willing to do so much for me, just to make me smile. Even with the pain he suffers daily (chronic nerve pain) he still just wants me to be comfortable and good after a days work. I love them btw :)
@@helvete_ingres4717 being nice in my experience is a mask. Genuine kindness comes from the heart. Like a parent sending a child that love to rough house to school and saying “play nice”.
I think when you're just looking at pictures or watching a screen, it's easy to think of attractiveness as some quantifiable thing, but when you feel the pull from someone in real life, you can't really describe exactly what it is that you are attracted to, and when you are in love you couldn't care less what other people think of the person you're with. After all if you are really love someone, you would want to be with them for a lifetime, which means they will get old and not fit a stereotypical definition of "attractiveness" anyways.
I've experienced this in real life also. There is this woman who isn't conventionally attractive, looks okay in photos.. HOWEVER her energy in real life is so freaking magnetic it's insane. So many people are attracted to her and she isn't even the smiley social butterfly type. Her whole aura makes her attractive in a unique way. Photos and short videos really do a disservice in evaluating attraction.
It is true. I have had crushes and felt in love with a number of different men and even with friends, they all looked different, had different races and often had very different personalities. But they usually had some things in common, like being very intelligent, careful with others feelings, shy and introverted in the beginning and most of all, humble. Oh, and dimples.
This is kind of how I found myself falling out of love recently. I used to look at my partner and see this gorgeous flawless (like, I saw the flaws but they didn't matter) person, reacted to the touch and stuff. Now, all I see is just a human. It's sad to think that after a few days away from home the only things I was missing were my bed, my work and my plants.
i mean, when i first started dating my boyfriend a lot of people were hating on my choice saying that i was wayyy too pretty for him. i’ve always have been known for my looks and such and have a lot of people interested in me. people found it odd that i chose him. but i didn’t even realize that other people found him unattractive, because his looks drew me in first.
@@BlinJe the constant comments hurt me and him a lot. especially since he is the sweetest and most understanding person i know. people just truly don’t value personality anymore.
I think some of the saddest moments I’ve seen in life are when people do not pursue a relationship with someone because their peers deem that potential date to be unattractive. Worry less about what your “friends” think and more about your own happiness.
100%. I'll take a "nerdy" looking partner who makes me laugh over a boring and conventionally attractive person any day of the week. People seem to acknowledge this less and less these days. All this social media/self-obsessed/clout chasing/delusional/robotic/youth dominated (because it makes companies money, not because 20 year olds are somehow now smarter than their elders; they've just been more easily brainwashed these days with the internet and tablet parenting) crap that's shoved in our faces a thousand times a day tells everyone to strive to look like a carbon copy of every bone shaved and filler filled nepo-baby. It's almost comical at this point.
This may sound corny but to me personality and charisma are everything. In my teens there was a very conventionally attractive girl in school, who I really admired because I was kind of an ugly duckling. This girl turned out to be one of my bullies and as soon as I realized this she suddenly became so unattractive to me. You can be the most conventionally beautiful person in the world but if you have a garbage personality this makes me instantly see you as ugly. It's as simple as that.
yeah! i always say 'everyone is attractive unless proven otherwise' that 'proven otherwise' is when that person turns out to be not as great as they seem
@@josiea.3855 an attractive person is attractive regardless if this nerd tries telling himself she's not cuz of pERsonality. I'll say it here, unless u act ret@rded, personality is a myth guys. It's just different flavors that amplify ur looks. But 0 X 0 = 0
Growing up I always thought I was a disgusting ugly beast due to teasing and general low self esteem. When people are attracted to me I feel like they're joking and I start feeling really insecure and awkward. After all these years of feeling horrific about myself Ive slowly started to accept the fact I am just an average looking woman, and as I've began to accept this it seems due to the media we all constantly consume that average isnt good enough anymore- average is the new ugly. Which is ridiculous, frustrating and generally upsetting. It is important to be attracted to the person you're with, but there is no excuse to insult people for their looks. Personally I know how destructive it is to ones self image and importance, and I feel like it's just going go get worse and worse. Thank you for another fantastic video Kid.
I've never related to this so much. When I was a kid, i was teased because i was chubby(despite the fact that i was healthy nonetheless and rarely got sick), so I lost weight and i thought high school would get better. It was the same. I was teased for not looking attractive(facial features). It only got better in university. Society has drilled it into our heads that you're only worth their time If you are hot and slim.
@sg9099 holy shit, same 😢 I always get sad that I'm not as pretty as other girls that I see in social media and start to think of myself as unlovable. But I think I just need to come to terms that I'm average looking compared to other girls and that's ok!
Yes, average and untouched by cosmetics has become the new ugly. Happened recently as well, like with Milly alcock and Bella Ramsey being told they’re too ugly to play the role in their newest hbo tv shows by white men and even some people were saying mean stuff about emma Darcy but I realised they’re just people who haven’t had lip filler nose jobs or braces
Ah, so what I’ve learned is that it’s illegal to not be traditionally attractive on TikTok. Interesting. Another reason why I have zero regrets for not using that app.
I'm not on that app but seemed to me that it is the opposite, just look at the most popular beauty gurus like Mikayla Nogueira, plenty of them are not conventionally attractive yet very popular.
@@morgianasartre6709that’s one person not plenty lol. most of the popular videos on that app are pretty people lip syncing an audio with a stolen caption
@@morgianasartre6709 No, I'm on the app. Pretty people are praised 24/7, if you arent conventionally attractive the comments are absolutely evil. Very sad.
Hearing you read those Twitter comments honestly broke my heart. It's crazy how comfortable people have gotten with being mean on the internet. Especially towards people they don't know.
People are frustrated with their boring, lonely offline lives and spilling out their misery to those they perceive to have something that they don't have, online.
I grew up in a small town being the fat, boring, unattractive, weird "friend" (they were never my friends to begin with) in a group skinny "beautiful" and sport loving people who would reject me every time they could, but they were the only people my age I knew and I've been with them from kindergarden to the end of highschool. I can't begin to explain how messed up I am now after years of altering my personality and preferences to fit and trying every sport and diet out there to be more attractive unsuccessfully cause I never could go down the 168 pounds mark. I was made fun all my life for liking people, I stopped taking photos at sixteen cause I hate how I look, I have an anxiety attack at 19 trying graduation dresses, I'm 21 now and only eat a meal a day cause I start feeling like crap the moment I go for a second, I can't have nor enjoy sex, I was called skinny for the first time in my life and lift up for the first time in my life and had a meltdown cause I couldn't accept that I wasn't killing the person that was holding me with my weight. I'm as skinny as I've ever been everybody says that I look great and I still hate myself. Sorry for the long comment I just needed to rant.
Yes, and the comments trying to say that looks don't matter are absolutely lying to themseleves. Being unattractive will cause people to perceive and treat you as less than which can absolutely negatively effect your self esteem. I'm happy for this couple and the hate their getting just demonstrates that society heavily values looks.
I hope you find what you need the community that cares about you, find your family, I hope there are some groups of concentrated interest that you can join and have some fun in. Maybe a concentrated hobby.
I've actually known Scott & Divine IRL! So when I saw your thumbnail I was like "👀 wait a sec... is that Scott!?" I don't have Tik Tok so I've only tangentially heard about how popular their content had become, and I'm sad at the hate people are throwing their way. It's not my place to talk about their lives more than they've already shared, but I can confirm that the story of how they got together that Kidology summed up is 100% true! They had talked to each other for years before deciding to get married, and being a social media couple was not something they had decided on until a while after they were married. Glad to see they're doing well and trolling the trolls they get haha
i follow them online for some time and I love their couple. the only thing that I don't understand is people calling Scott ugly, when it's so obvious that his facial/bodily features are affected by his illness. you can see that he would've been considered an extremely handsome guy if he was healthy. he obviously looks a little unusual, but in no way ugly or scary...
I’ve seen them a few times on my fyp and anyone with the tiniest sense of humour can see that they both love each other and are very playful. They get a lot of positive comments too so I wouldn’t worry too much.
They always get hate comments, but now, they’re also amassing more and more of an “army” of people who smack down all the haters on their behalf 😁 Truth tends to win out, and the truth of their relationship being genuine is definitely doing that 🥰
@@peculliar that is what ugliness is. The whole point of physical beauty is to inform on health for producing offspring. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but ugliness is universal. Saying he'd be beautiful if he wasn't ugly is really weird.
@@Arkhs to me ugliness is neglecting beauty that you have when you are born - getting fat and unhealthy, botching it with excessive plastic surgery. and in his case you can clearly see he has big correctly placed eyes, nicely shaped nose. his jaw and teeth look like this just because of the illness, look up other patients with scleroderma. and I think in cases of ilnessess it's different. majority objectively wouldn't call someone with a horrible excessive scar tissue or missing visible organs and limbs conventionally attractive. and there are some people born with rather unattractive features without having any disease. but idk, maybe I see ugliness differently, I like weird sickly looking models, for example, with eyes far apart and huge cheeckbones. some people would call that ugly
In my opinion, it's just jealousy. Those men in the manosphere love to lament about, and use their physical appearance (short&ugly) as an excuse for their perpetual singlehood. They also love to numerically rank people's attractivenessand based on physical appearance (biological). So, seeing a couple like the one Kid is talking about challenges their view of the world, because how can that is ugly (on their level) manage to one not be single and two have a girlfriend above his level? It means that their looks isn't the only thing that prevents them from a relationship and they can't accept that. In their mind, women are shallow and interesting in only. So they look for excuses to justify this couple's existence. It's much easier to be fatalist and to see the world as black and withe than to look for solutions and change. For all their talk about female shallowness they never realise that they are some of the shallowest people out there. It's their own shallowness that stops them from seeing women as individuals, who are attracted to different things and like men for more than their looks.
Their stupid rating system alwaysakes me laugh because it's not even helping them to get into a real loving relationship with a woman. It's good hopefully they continue to exclude themselves from the gene pool with their stupidity.😂
@@Tessy29k another funny thing is they say "10 and 1 is not real". obviously never loved a person for who they are, thinking they're a 10 despite any potential flaws. Even if you only look visually, I can name youtube creators or poeple I've met irl that I though were a 10. Sure, maybe their nose is a bit big but who cares, you don't look at a nose but at a face..? and if you love someone even a 5 can become a 10 so it's stupid. It's funny to see celebrities (who are never natural because even men have make up in movies) like Hanry Cavil or Megan Fox being like 8.5 max or something. No, still not attractive enough for a reddit guy xD
Its a circle jerk of self pity. These guys are on twitter rating women like margot robbie "mid" not because she isnt attractive (like she objectivley is) but because they want to punish women and degrade them into subjugation. They are mad that women cant be forced into relationships anymore. They dont seek out partnerships with an equal partner they want to control and dominate a sex object. Thats what they are mad about, not that they cant find a partner! This whole "I am so ugly women are so shallow and dont see us" is just to make them seem like the victim when they are not even seeking out equal relationships.
Idk about you but I’ve been single for five years because im autistic and all that Disney channel bullshit about how looks doesn’t matter is still a huge lie. And the statistics don’t lie you can’t just take this one case of a fugly dude who managed to get into a relationship with someone hot the stats really do show women chase the top 10% and that aligns completely with my personal experience you can look at a outlier data point all you want but the averages and median just show how vain we all are. I don’t want to date after seeing how women treat men who aren’t there yet there isn’t an ounce of sympathy there and I don’t even look for anything it all ends the same especially for guys like me. A few days after my uni graduation I’ve also been called the most selfish person my father has ever met but that’s a strength in todays world where a single medical bill can and will ruin your entire life and it’s the only thing that even got me through my uni bills thus far. Yeah I probably have a shit personality but how the fuck do you expect me to change that with zero support groups and in a world I’ll never find love for being autistic and it makes forging connections that much harder. Maybe it is my personality but if you think I’m going to change to get a woman I’d rather play Diablo there is no world where rewriting yourself to get a woman who will leave you is valuable. I fucking hate most people and I trust nobody especially after sniffing through so many scams. in this place and I see a lot behind the scenes working in finance we are all vain and completely not focused on starting families and only when we are single at 30 like the people I see in my finance job who despise the world will we realize we fucked up in not pursuing unity and it’s easier and more fulfilling to be in a relationship not entrapment like the left loves to say. Like this shit is ridiculous we are so prude I can’t even ask people in person and I get denied by every tinder date after they see I’m autistic and then they try and blame my dumbass for being an incel like any of this shit is my fault. You fail to see the point that men are absolutely judged by their worth in their ability to attract and even the most leftist woman would agree that they judge men in this regard. If my dumbass were to tell my SLT guys with a wife and kids that I haven’t had a hug in five years during the prime of my life of Fucking course that is going to reflect very poorly on myself so I don’t understand the entire argument hating on guys like me with valid complaints about the way women select and then trying to chalk 63% of young men’s lack of dates to just a changing world where we all are just gonna die alone it’s such idiocy. And the completely horribleness of women on social media and the shit I’ve seen going on on how women select st frat parties has overwritten my natural drive to start a family im so disgusted by it. We have let corporations own love now the most personal thing to us ever and that on top of entitlement and only selecting the best is ruining dating and you can flip it on guys shit personalities but why do you think none of us are dating. I also find the hate against passport bros who have taken one look at this fucked dating scene to be really stupid just let guys who are more masculine have something in life that isn’t shit and it says more about women in the USA that we prefer to do this now you can hate them for it all you want and call them impoverished but I’m starting to think that’s my only toption in the world for love I’m not going to die alone cause Snapchat showed my soulmate a better option and she’s brainwashed into thinking all relationships are entrapment like every liberal media piece does today it’s so stupid.
Even if we're talking just about physical attractiveness, I think it's important to remember what we all know: 1) tastes are not universal, like, they really arent at all. even with still pictures, no context, we won't like the same ppl, and it only gets more complex once you add variables, by seeing the way they move, the sound of their voice, their vocabulary, etc. 2) the way someone looks in photos or videos is way different than the way they look in real life. 3) your past has an influence on who you find attractive. it's not their fault but if someone looks like someone who hurt you, you can't really find them attractive, unless you really work hard on erasing the first instinctive repulsion you feel when you look at them. If on the other hand they look like someone you look up to, it makes them more attractive even before you've said a word to them. 4)the vast majority of poeple are neutral to us: we don't find them attractive, and we don't find them ugly either, they have the potential to become either and it mostly depends on their attitude.
I ran into problem with 3 years ago. There was a girl at work who liked me, and i turned her down because she "reminded me of my sister." She took it well, and we're still friends, but some people hated me for that.
@@cultreader9751 that makes perfect sense to me, its pretty healthy not to want to date someone who looks like your sister. For me, there was a guy i found really attractive just two years ago and he r worded a friend of mine well now if i see a guy who looks like him all i feel is repulsion and fear because duh.
I agree with all those points except partly for your first point. Although there are different preferences in looks, there are certain traits which have been found to always be attractive (there are plenty of studies which prove this). Those who are "super attractive" all have similar physical traits.
OMG I have lost count on how many times I've read "that the heart wants what it wants" when it comes to toxic relationships! But God forbid it should happen within a healthy relationship?!!!
As a retired cultural anthropologist in the USA that specialized in international migration, I've got to say your segment on "passport wives" in America (or "the West" generally) is brilliant! Kudos from a new subber.
I’ve seen so many posts on Twitter about attractiveness with couples. One stating, “ your partners appearance is a direct reflection of your self worth.” The tweet had 10k+ likes. I feel like more than ever bc social media caters to beauty, people are more vain than ever. They no live in a reality where you can’t associate with “unattractive people.” They want beautiful homes, babies, friends, husbands, wives. G-d forbid one it not like the other. Personally I view people like this as never knowing/feeling love or beauty, they’ll never receive or experience it because their inner world is truly ugly. If you can’t find beauty in everything, you’re lost. Plus being mean to your core makes you physically ugly.
Omg yes! I’ve met some very attractive people, got to know them and they become ugly very quickly. Looks are literally never enough! Couples that have been together for decades always attest to this, their reasons for continuing to love their partners usually fall on things far less superficial.
I agree. I think a person having such strong shallow judgements of others appearance usually tells me the person struggles with compassion for themselves and probably would not be a compassionate friend or partner when it comes to body image. I try to remember this when I get rejected by people who I later find out have fatphobic or rigid beauty standards
I would hope that at least a FEW people would’ve responded with something like “your perceived superiority of looks over personality and value reflects the depths of your shallowness” or something bc like…. Hello??? Some of these ppl entirely missed their Disney phases.
I loved your points on passport bros and greencards. They are the same thoughts I've had as a Nigerian woman, especially when you brought up that 3rd world women are not stupid 33:47 . There are much better ways of immigrating to the US if we desperately need to. Marrying an American for a passport is inconvenient and more trouble than its worth
Ummm… she’s kinda off base with what she said. Passport Bro aren’t Marrying women out of the US to bring them back that toxic land they staying in said foreign land with their wife and to clarify it was American women calling foreign women stupid not the passport people so yeah. TikTok is there for everyone to witness it as it is still happening to this day.
I KNOWWWW!!!! I cant with these passport bros who come to eastern Europe to find "real traditional women" They will be so surprised when they find out that women here go to college, work, travel (since apparently a worldly, well traveled woman is a red flag), party etc... Our great great grandmothers didn't just cook, clean, give birth and look pretty for their husbands- they worked, knew how to handle firearms, were politically engaged even before women here got the right to wote and they would poison their abusive husbands with diarrhea medicine The last thing those women would want for me is to be a subservient wife to some spoiled western man
@@plamondonworks6948 I agree and I say this as a man who married a Filipina (though we are looks-matched, close in age, and she had the opportunity to come to the US on a J1 visa as a teacher). I believe that it's possible that, initially, this girl was interested in this guy because of the possibility of getting a green card. I do believe she ultimately fell in love with him, but I think this is how it started (even her initial story is questionable).
I remember hearing somewhere that it's a business to make the sexs hate each other, and as a former cringy tate stand (😅sorry), I'm really starting to see that. This video gave me a nice refreshing dose of reality that love doesn't care what you think. It just happens.
Ohh you’re spot on actually!! I am completely convinced that this whole ,,gender war” thing is pushed by the media and elites to make young men and women hate each other and therefore, lower future birth rates and destroy the family unit(cause what keeps the family stable at the core, are mom and dad). That’s why andrew tate and radical feminists both got so popular, cause the ,,elites” actually equally benefit from both sides of the same coin. Radical feminists are making confused young women hate men, and andrew tate;red pillers are making confused young men hate women. It’s kind of bizarre and sad once you spot endless similarities on both sides and the constant need for each side do demean and insult the opposite side. All a part of a bigger, much more evil plan to destroy future families and make people now and in the future, lonelier than ever. Cause it’s much easier(for elites and powerful people) to control a bunch of angry,lost, lonely people, than to control people in stable marriages and families filled with love(even more so if they on top of that belive in God).
if it bleeds it leads. we evolved to focus more on the negative because that's how our ancestors survived. research shows that earning a lot of money so what we call succes, doesn't correlate with happiness (they matter only to a point where you're comfortable with some disposable income) but Tates of the world will try to sell it to you as the goal. just like Hollywood before them. at the same time, they will find an enemy to blame everything on because anger motivates people far more than joy (also proven by research). What gets more views and comments on yt? a controversial take from a red pill comunity or dr K's short (a psychiatrist who makes self-help content). Both are saying they try to help you and yes, both earn money from youtube but one feeds on anger, on finding enemies (just like any political party - they also lie they care about you) while the other is positive and makes content based on actual research, not feelings
I was honestly shocked at the vitriol Scott got from OTHER incels. I'm used to them hating women for existing but the hatred for Scott felt personal, like he had "betrayed" them despite not even knowing him.
@@AlienZiziBasically. Incels don't want to change; that's too hard. They'd rather self‐loathe, externalize & project all their problems onto other people & society. They're enslaved by their own unwillingness to assume responsibility over their lives.
They are so wholesome and the trolling is hilarious. I love them. People really don’t realize how attractive someone can be based on their confidence, personality, humor, depth, etc.
It's a anecdotal evidence 😅 Vast data shows that their is a pattern to attractiveness and their are certain traits that both men and women find attractive in each other . This particular couple is in news bcoz they are a microscopic minority and that's why they're famous.
It's obviously not impossible but incredibly hard. And let's be real, that guy would have 0 chance in any dating app, which sadly more and more people are using.
Media, including social media has been alterating what we see as "average" for a long time. Now we have steroid fitness coaches and heavily filtered women on every single reel or page. The more time you spend OFF the internet, the better. You will see normal looking couples everywhere. Its noticeable for example when British dramas are known for being so "different" because they dont tend to centre around choosing actors for their looks over acting ability. I've never understood the obsession over what other people are doing - it reminds me of high school gossip. Some humans really do never grow up, unfortunately. I do believe it comes from insecurity and immaturity.
I agree with you on everything, except one thing - The more time you spend OFF the internet, the better. It's not the internet that's the problem. It's the social/trashy media that's the problem. I spend a lot of time on the internet, about 60% to learn/work, and 40% to relax (games, traincab videos, etc.). Whenever I take a dip into the "social" sphere of the internet, (to read a news article, or watching some philosophy/psychology videos) I often have to do a double take, because I'm exposed to the highly artificial (dare I say fake) world you mention, or comments from people that have become obsessed with it. tl;dr: It's how people use it that's the problem. Plenty of good stuff on the internet.
@@gogudelagaze1585 I wanna agree with you, furthermore it explains why I have the idea that basketball discourse is toxic, cause I only have it online and don't know anyone who like to talk about it in person. Me and my one friend who does follow the nba always have pleasant talks about the sport.
I too have noticed that modern histeria, (wether from right or left), doomerism, catastrophising is a lot more prominent on the internet then in real life, once i started spending less time on my phone and more in real life activities
@gogudelagaze1585 there are fantastic parts of the net. I've experienced the same as you, even with organising my net carefully ads and recommend videos have consistently been pushing tiktok e girls and twitch streamers, just all the incredibly vapid stuff.
personally some people i've dated i might have considered "average" if i didn't know them... but if there is a spark and we hit it off based on a shared interest or something and i find them even slightly pretty to begin with, my attraction just keeps growing. once that switch is flipped from no attraction to attraction, i find more and more reasons i am attracted to them until eventually i am attracted to them BECAUSE they are them and we're so close. plus things other than looks are very attractive to me, like if someone smells nice/what perfume they wear, their body language, etc. not to mention there are people who are demisexual and fall for their friends without it really mattering what they look like physically.
there's a very big difference between dating someone slightly less conventionally attractive who's compatible and makes up in the personality department (been there, done that) and dating someone who is objectively ugly while being objectively beautiful yourself like in the case of this couple. I'd never hate on them or make vicious comment but I guess I am just too egalitarian to see such couples and be overjoyed for them, especially since it's almost always hetero women selling themselves short, which is clearly a byproduct of (internalized) misogyny. you nearly never see an ugly woman with a hot bf and that's simply a fact. many people try to play it off as "but the hot guys often have plain personalities, and are sexist players" but this doesn't mean less attractive men are much more likely to be "good guys". and again, kind of average-looking pairs can be read either way, some people would be more attracted to one person, some the other. I'm talking about situations where the woman is stunning, takes immaculate care of her appearance and the guy just looks borderline deformed, has a pot belly and is balding. sure in many such cases women actually Are gold-diggers but I know so many gorgeous, highly-educated, successful straight women who are with men who are subpar in every possible capacity and they don't even treat these women well, do anywhere near as much as half of the chores nor even bother to give them a gift for their 30th birthday. in those cases I genuinely don't know what a straight woman gets out of a relationship apart from the social validation .. that she's in a heterosexual relationship. and before some mras come at me, I also don't like when the woman is a lot less attractive in a straight relationship, or if one person is significantly less attractive in a gay relationship (happens a lot more rarely). call me a visual equalist I guess. as a lesbian I have dated a woman who wasn't as conventionally attractive as me but the difference wasn't too big. when I see women who look like supermodels on dating apps, I obviously swipe left as well because I want an equal not someone I feel unworthy of and would feel insecure next to. people honestly need to realize that attractive people have the right to and do mostly date other attractive people. I don't expect anyone to lower their standards for me and I am also not going to settle for someone I'm not particularly attracted to. while liking someone for their personality can definitely give you love goggles and make them look more attractive, it still doesn't guarantee that they appreciate you the same way. so as a university lecturer, business owner, and a reasonably attractive person (been compared to Scarlett Johansson) I'd rather be let down by a woman who's on my level I guess than one I gave a chance to only for her to disappoint me after hitting on me, planning our life together and tell me I'm perfect just to run away. I sometimes got the feeling that she felt insecure next to me so maybe the inequality not just in looks but other areas (she was a jobless struggling art student) is what made her randomly sabotage our otherwise perfect relationship. this again just proves that equal relationships fare better long-term.
@@linh4820 I do see your point, but I honestly feel like you're taking your personal experience and making it into a universal rule. I am not devaluing your experience, and it does sound like that decision of yours makes a lot of sense for you personally. But maybe don't hold other people to your standards, since there are people out there who don't care about the looks of their partner. And even if people DO care and stay in such an "aesthetically imbalanced" relationship anyways, I wouldn't judge them or call them insecure, since I don't feel like that's my place. You never know what's going on inside someone's head or heart, since you're only looking from the outside in.
@@talunae.8924 I don't really judge individual relationships based on looks (sure I may think aesthetically mismatched couples look odd but ultimately that's not my business). however, I am tired of the misogynistic pattern of women always being expected to lower their standards, especially straight women when it comes to men's appearances and behaviour. sure, the female sex is more empathetic according to scientific studies yet we are still perceived as more vain and shallow by misogynists when all evidence when it comes to lookism in relationships points to the contrary: that straight men are much more critical of women's appearance, place a lot more importance on conventional attractiveness and lust after young women in their 20s even when they're crusty old men. none of this is some projection of personal experiences lol. as a lesbian I have obviously never dated nor will ever date men and straight women's sexuality has no personal impact on me either. all I am really saying is that there is no shame in wanting to date someone on the same level of conventional attractiveness to you, unless one is unable to experience sexual attraction, it attractiveness absolutely matters and it's very strange of straight women to increasingly boast online about dating "a medium ugly man" they admit to not being physically attracted to as if dating them was some grand consolation prize and made these women somehow morally superior and not shallow.
@@linh4820 We need an equivalent for the term "gold-digger" for men who only value and seek out looks in women! But is it surprising that there isn't one yet?
When I was younger, I was a divorce attorney, and the most hateful couples that wanted to destroy each other were always the "beautiful" people, lol. I used to have to hold in the laughter when I would see them, because my brain was going "guess what YOUR "relationship" and marriage was based on...how's that working out now"? I view people who try to do anything more than only f..k over hotness to be literal clowns of the high order, plotting to suffer in domestic hell and eventually burn stacks of money.🤣 Why don't modern people just use online type dating the same way we used to use "singles bars"? Just for sex. You DON'T meet a spouse that way, good god.
My parents were only physically attracted to each other. Their relationship was toxic and my mother didn’t allow us to see my father causing me trauma in my adulthood and thousands on therapy. But hey, at least I’m beautiful 🥹🥲
Honestly it makes sense that those couples are the most hateful, because many of them were most likely built majority off physical attraction and were very incompatible in terms of personality.
@NikitaHunt lmao same. They got married bc she was pregnant after a few months of dating. Both good looking, neither can actually keep a relationship. They're a joke. I'm glad I got their genes though, and they were examples to avoid so in trying my best to not allow myself to become like them
My boyfriend and I are pretty attractive but we are also best friends. I don’t know if I’m blind to this because I’m in love. But I can’t imagine being in love with someone solely based on looks. I feel like this is very much over simplifying it. Yes, there might be some correlation but it’s not the same thing as causation. I think temptation might be more so a cause for failing relationships. Two very attractive individuals will always be subject to more temptation as they are attractive to a lot of people…
People have said some truly vile things to my husband and me about our relationship because of how we physically look. He's a big guy, so they immediately judge. He's also extremely sweet, caring, hard working, funny, my best friend. It's so sad that people think they should openly give opinions to other people like that just based on what someone looks like.
My new friend fell in love with her childhood friend and they’re currently engaged. I was really excited to see him and he wasn’t that good looking but I told her I was happy for her. I felt a little guilty for being disappointed but he’s so sweet to her and that’s the only thing that matters. It just reminded me to check myself.
I think a significant component of this is envy. The manosphere tells men that they can't get women without high attractiveness, money etc., so when they see other men "getting" a woman without these things, it clashes with their worldview as well as making some of them angry that it hasn't/"can't" happen to them as well. Envy causes people to tear down what others have.
Modern people are simply quite superficial and alienated from the human experience. You know I know it sounds crazy but people can actually fall in love even though they do not necessarily match physically. I also know it is crazy that not everyone is viewing people as a product.
People confuse attraction with compatibility, commitment or love. Attraction is necessary but not the MOST important thing. Just because someone is attracted to you does not mean they want to stay faithful to you, commit to you in an actual relationship or marriage, care for you or even stop sleeping with other people. How many people are cheating on each other even while they live together? Even living together doesn't guarantee true love and commitment. Beauty standards aren't really important when it comes with building a long term relationship that lasts the test of time. You need to be compatible in terms of your goals, dreams, visions for the future and lifestyle for what you both what in the long term at the SAME time and you also need to understand each other emotionally and be willing to compromise or sacrifice in the same way or in a way that makes BOTH of you comfortable. It's why you can have 2 good looking people together who just never work out because they don't want the same things and never will.
It takes a lot of personal unlearning to get rid of this repulsive need to appear perfect in your relationships (and really, in all your dealings). I still struggle with feeling the need to get external validation, for my decisions, relationships and the whole of my personal life. The truth is there's nothing more beautiful and fulfilling than wholeheartedly loving and being loved. Scot looks like a very tender and loving person and Divine's smile seems warm and genuine. I hope everyone can someday be content enough with themselves to be happy for this couple.
I like this video. I'm a woman that's ugly in other people's opinion. It took me 6 years to start liking how I look, when I was a teenager I was in deep depression because of people's opinions on my looks. I recently got out of long term relationship and now that I'm trying to find someone interested in me I struggle to keep liking myself again. Everytime I talk with someone i get compliments about how funny, inteligent, nice I am, but I know that as soon as I show my face those things won't matter anymore. I'm not mad about that tho, I'm just tired. I just want to be loved and love back, that's it lol
I’m aro ace, which means I don’t know what romantic attraction or sexual attraction feels like. I used to think that having a boyfriend meant looking for the one guy you’d like to be “super besties” with, and now that I have a bf, I still think of him as my super bestie. Not being able to feel what many would call “the feelings that make us human” made me sad, but I also think it’s a blessing because I don’t have to think whether I feel “a spark” or whatever when considering to date someone. My whole criteria were: asexual (of the kind that doesn’t need sex), able to hold a logical/intelligent conversation. My bf is honestly higher than me in the looksmaxx scale, and sometimes I wonder why he insists on being with me when he could get a hotter gf, but I think we have chemistry in the sense that my weaknesses are his strengths and vice versa so we complement each other well. I think we can work out problems that will definitely arise down the road, since we’re both understanding of one another and that relationships require effort.
You are only young. You will feel everything everybody else feels. There is no “aro are ace”, these are stupid made up lebela made up by people in the 2020s. You are a normal young person who still has to grow and experience life. Trust me. I am lucky I grew up when this crazy ideas about genders and sexualities still have not being made up
i don't mean to be a bigot or to disregard you, i am asking this because im genuinely curious. how are you aroace and have a boyfriend..? how do you have a relationship with no romantic interaction or attraction? i absolutely get when there's no s-xual interaction, i've been with an ace person and it didn't stop it from us having a relationship. but a relationship is based on romantic or s-xual interaction, if has none of the two wouldn't be just a friendship?
@@sakaom no worries! It’s a confusing topic and it’s always nice when people try to understand rather than invalidate 😛 In my case, I care about my bf’s wellbeing, I want to plan a future where we both support each other like a team. It’s like a romantic relationship, except I never felt butterflies in my stomach, or any other feeling that people describe feeling when they fall in love. I’m with my bf because he’s the first asexual guy I met, and our goals in life matched perfectly, so I said “this is the one” and have been loyal to him ever since. I hear that there’s a form of love that’s between romantic and platonic called alterous(?) attraction, so that might be what I feel lol it’s different from a friendship in that I prioritize my bf over any other friend (when their needs of me overlap), and I wouldn’t plan my life around being with a friend like I do with my bf. Tl;dr I love my bf but the feelings of love aren’t what people describe when they describe romantic attraction (I used to think people exaggerated their feelings before I realized I was aro). Hope that made some sense!
@@TadanoCandy it made a lot of sense, thank you! i didn't know about alterous attraction before and its nice to know, i wish all the best things for you and your boyfriend ♥
I was one of those guys who had horrendous acne, felt like a monster because of it, and spent years on intense diet, exercise, and education to try to compensate in other ways. I am glad it was before social media really took off, because I could have easily slipped into the incel or nice guy tunnel if those communities existed at the time. That being said, you are right that it only takes a few rejections to spiral into self loathing. Once I got over my acne, I was never insecure about anything, and had a few very stable and organic relationships over the years that I should have prioritized above my career. It only takes being left for a bigger, richer guy once to shatter that confidence. Now I’ve been on the apps for a few months and understand completely how it can ruin mental health for both men and women.
I completely understand you, I'm now having a new "wave" of acne and my self esteem has lowered quite a lot. I also compensate with working on other aspects I deem attractive, not only physical, but about my personality also. We all tend to focus too much on our weaknesses, when others sometimes do not even notice it... I personally don't really care about other people's skin. I'm sure you are a wonderful person yourself 😊
Its great that you didnt slip into that mindset but I just want to point out women with acne exist, overweight women exist, women with disabilties exist and also women get rejected. And yet we dont see women forming hate groups against men and even going on shooting rampages bc they believe that the entire male gender has conspired against them. Its only men who do that. Its bc of a sense of entitlement that women dont have.
There are a lot of clichéd super attractive male celebrities that I just... have no interest in. It doesn't mean those men are ugly, they are just not attractive to me. Their story is pretty damn sweet, it is rather gross how people will go out of their way attack these random people on the internet. Her breaking up because she thought he was lying about a hurricane is pretty hilarious. Of all excuses, a hurricane is easily verifiable with a google weather report, haha~
This is such a huge thing, I tend not to be as attracted in real life to the most conventionally attractive people as should be expected. I often find that people think I'm dating down but really I just think that most conventionally attractive people don't have anything special about them, they just have vaguely symmetrical faces and no obvious flaws.
I totally get this. I don't really find conventionally attractive people, well, attractive lol. I've felt way more attracted to normal looking women I've met or even women people would describe as "unattractive".
I rarely comment on your channel but I wanna help the algorithm. Also can I just say that men who think they are getting "submissive wives" from 3rd world countries are in for a real shock once they actually marry them (if they succeed in marrying them).
I had a guy on a dating app asume I was "submissive" because I'm from Mexico and then tried to explain how feminism ruined society and procceded to send me a video about why women should realize they have no value.... I was shocked and honestly offended. Put me off dating apps tbh.
I appreciate bringing the bisexual perspective into consideration on this topic. It's so interesting having such different standards for ourselves vs people we find attractive. One girl I met while travelling was very used to male attention and had guys pursuing her all the time, despite having a bf. Her friend, who admitted to being used to regularly being passed over in favour of her, was so attractive to me. Attraction is so complex and I feel to generalise it takes the wonder out. Really good video, came up on my recommended so hope the algorithm isn't doing the creator quite as dirty anymore 👍🏻
There’s definitely some gut feeling that makes you doubt when you see a couple that doesn’t match but to go from there to deducing that they’re a fraud is just too much 😂. There’s so much we don’t know about them as people go judge their relationship.
People are just jealous that no one could over look their awful flaws. People think they only have to be good looking when their personalities are truly disgusting. It's good because such superficial people will always remain alone. Makes it easier for more mature and real people to meet each other.
Gut feelings are often based on our own beliefs, perspectives and experiences. So if someone's "gut feeling" tells them that this couple shouldn't be together is fully based on their own perspective, not some universal devine truth
Honestly I get her. My last crush was just like that! Not that attractive in the standart convetional way but wery nice, social and polite to everyone around. He just radiated so much energy and character that everyone loved him. Myself included. My love was unrequited but he still was my best friend who I relied on.
I hate that people call him ugly, he’s not ugly, he’s sick. I also have an autoimmune condition and it’s very hard, we are born like this and there’s little we can do, and those of us who are sick but are invisible to others (we look healthy) are able to see both sides of the coin, when people realize I’m sick, the fact that I’m beautiful doesn’t matter anymore, I’m just another unhealthy person roaming the earth, that doesn’t hurt as much, but when I connect with someone, regardless of my condition and attractiveness, when I connect with someone emotionally and intellectually and then just because I’m sick, I’m treated as if I’m lying or deceiving others. Yes I look "normal". I still experience this superficial society that never bothers to learn more about someone more than outward appearances. I’m beautiful but also extremely smart, opinionated and loving, but people only care that I’m beautiful and sick at the same time. Like somehow, I’m an offense to God, it’s very hurtful and very telling of people’s character, when they judge me. Is it really too much to ask to care for the person? Not the idea you have of the person?
I appreciate your emphasis on how we need each other rather than join in on perpetuating this insane battle of sexes that's going on right now. It honestly feels like it's getting worse and worse by the day looking at either extremes.
Hi! Just wanted to pop in to verify that the story of this couple is a very legitimate experience. Almost identical to this couple, I met someone online 3 and a half years ago and we became best friends over time. I’ll never forget the day I realized “oh crap, I think I love this guy” - despite him never being “my type”, he’s FOR SURE become more attractive to ME over time, now I think he’s incredibly handsome. That’s a pretty normal part of falling in love with someone. (As a side note, we live in different countries, but visa was never either of our goals). Its crazy how mean people can be on the internet and I feel for this couple. They know what they have, that they’re happy together, and I hope the haters are able to find a relationship like that too one day.
I was essentially disowned and ostracized by family and church for loving and marrying someone they did not approve of or chose for me. But I’m my best self by following my heart and intuition and learned much later that my disfunctional and highly controlling family lead me to feel comfortable in the cult I attended for years. It was my husbands love and patience that helped me leave the church/cult and distance myself from family. I believe the core of who we are seeks love and goodness and we know exactly what we need to feel and be our best, truest self. It doesn’t matter what others think especially if they don’t know you.
i was thinking about this not too long ago. we all get old and our looks have a shelf life, it’s like investing all your stock in a company that you know will deteriorate eventually. emotional, intelligence and spiritual connections is what matter most in my opinion and that’s currently what i seek above the physical.
I think feminism has actually helped me with conceptualizing the down time of relationships. I feel the agency to pursue my own career/job paths, hobbies, and social opportunities which allows me to continually develope as a person. I think that it helps me greatly in platonic and romantic relationships to have this strong sense of self because then I can accept the flaws and short comings of the people around me. This means that in the down time where no one is masking there is an even greater appreciation for the genuine connection this affords us.
What lol. That's not called feminism. Nothing you said had anything to do with femininity. Its called personal growth and development. Both genders should create a healthy relationship with themselves.
@@kiaadams104I'm sorry, what? That is literally what feminism has been fighting for for almost two centuries. For women to even have the ability to "work on themselves" and gain the freedom to take part in society as individual entities. It's literally never been about dating.
@@kiaadams104 I think you are forgetting that women didn't always have the room/ choice of personal growth, general agency and development. Everything women did had to revolve around a man for economic necessity. The rise and victories of feminism in the grand scheme of things are actually still relatively new. My mother (and I) grew up in a country that did not (and still does not) view women as people. So we left. She was one of the first to break that curse and become the breadwinner of the family, which resulted in my deadbeat dad abusing everyone because a woman's success made him feel slighted. Feminism is about equality and choice for all. It actually does not only apply to women, but women are of course at the forefront, because, well, history.
@Ana0bella0goth0fox lol I never mentioned anything about dating. The original commentor is combining ideas, feminism and self development are two separate things. You can develop "self" without being apart of society and worrying about tribal status. Self development is about SELF. nothing she said or you said has anything to do with feminism or the feminist movement.
@aubreyplazasuncle again. One can develop themselves outside of the tribe. If a scotiey rejects you, that doesn't mean you can't develop a relationship with yourself. You can still learn to enjoy and love yourself... That is not a feminist idea. It's simply self development
I'm average to alot of men and I am honestly okay with that because most humans are average looking, etc. Not everyone will live up to these "standards" society has and that is okay. I love people watching and have met some people who others deem "ugly" are the ones in longest relationships and actually love the person they are with. I'm starting to see why some people don't post their significant other on social media, people can be rude and make crude jokes about someone they don't even know. I've been rejected by men my whole life and I am never an option, but now I have changed how I view myself and what I want to look for in a partner when the time comes. I'm prefectly fine with not being the drop dead gorgeous baddie, I believe people should be with someone who allows them to be themselves and willing to enjoy life with.
Sorry! judging by your pfp I have to say you are so pretty! So I don't know about the men, but at least I think you are actually good-looking. I think that just explains how different people perceive others so I'm sure others think the same. It's wonderful that you are aware that having a partner does not show your value as a person or how attractive you are. I hope you have a good day!
If that’s you in your pfp then you actually look good! Which is why I feel like I actually relate: I have had very few relationships and sexual encounters, near 0 success on dating apps and yet…I don’t think or feel I am ugly. But alongside that, I have a better idea of what kind of vibe I am looking for in a woman.
@@CenterSargE awww thank you 🩵. Yes that’s me and same. Dating apps aren’t just for me to get what I want. But it’ll happen for us sooner than we know it
I think attractiveness factors in on how much tolerance you have for certain disagreeable traits a partner may have. The more attractive they are, the easier it is to look past certain red flags, or things that you otherwise wouldn’t tolerate in a less attractive partner.
ive been with a very attractive and exotic looking guy, the looks definitely made me make excuses lmao.. he treated me terribly, so yeah.. i started dated a "less attractive /ugly" guy by others standards and people looked at me mad funny! he was truly so sweet, but we didnt work out for other reasons. at the end of the dayー looks matters less to me, idgaf what others think. so fuggin rude..
Bro it’s all about reproducing to pass on good genes organisms are wired to find out physically attractive and robust mates as this is a direct indicator of good genes. Beauty is the priority when picking a partner whether you want to admit it or not.
It’s sad and quite infuriating to read in the comments that ‘after 50, looks don’t matter because we are all no longer attractive’. I don’t have to say anything because these people will, if they are lucky, be 50+ years old and see it, live it for themselves.
I remember reading somewhere that nursing homes (for the elderly) sometimes have STD outbreaks because the residents are having so much unprotected sex! 😅 I saw the comment you're referring to as well and rolled my eyes cause its clearly false, and I'm only in my 20s.
People are silly. The internet is full of so much nonsense. Getting older is the only way these idiots will see the truth, then again at the rate some of them are going they won't even reach 50.
I’ve definitely noticed that my preferences throughout the years in terms of looks have always been around ten years older than I am. Never my age or below.
People confuse attraction with compatibility, commitment or love. Attraction is necessary but not the MOST important thing. Just because someone is attracted to you does not mean they want to stay faithful to you, commit to you in an actual relationship or marriage, care for you or even stop sleeping with other people. How many people are cheating on each other even while they live together? Even living together doesn't guarantee true love and commitment. Beauty standards aren't really important when it comes with building a long term relationship that lasts the test of time. You need to be compatible in terms of your goals, dreams, visions for the future and lifestyle for what you both what in the long term at the SAME time and you also need to understand each other emotionally and be willing to compromise or sacrifice in the same way or in a way that makes BOTH of you comfortable. It's why you can have 2 good looking people together who just never work out because they don't want the same things and never will.
Here's just my personal experience with being the "unattractive" (relatively anyway) partner and why it might help some people understand. To summarize a very long (30 year) history, I've never been conventionally attractive at all. I grew up with slight speech impediment and I was chubby kid - obviously I got bullied hard, easy target and all that. Because of that I basically had no self-esteem by the time I left for high school. When puberty hit, it was less bad but I was still a fat kid (albeit a much taller one). I didn't really have any women interested in me until I was closer to my twenties. But what was the reason for that? I was still medically obese, watched Anime, read books for fun and only did sports that involved violence (rugby, boxing, Muay Thai, etc). On the face of it I was a massive loser and unattractive by most standards in our society - how did I get any woman at all to even consider me? Short answer, I'm great at talking. Seriously, it's my best trait. I've been told that I'm never boring and can work things out easily between people ("eccentric, but fun" as a newer friend put it). So when I asked my sexual partners or girlfriends, what was attractive about me I basically got the same answer every time: confident, well-spoken, know how to cook, considerate and, I dress well and I'm emotionally intelligent. You'll notice not once did my looks come up (which used to really bother me) - maybe personality and drive to achieve are more important than some people believe? I'm still a fat (losing weight, but still technically a big guy) and eccentric, but I'm working to make it into an Educational Honour's program, run my own D&D group and write poetry/short stories in my spare time. In short, I have shit going on and goals. Women appreciate that (I know this advice is skewing hetero, my experiences with men are closer to the toxic "looks matter" ideal) unless they're a shallow person. And really, who the fuck wants to date a shallow person? That relationship has an expiration date in the single digits at best - find someone you're attracted to (however the fuck you define that, I'm not your dad) and see if you can make it work. That's enough from me, hope this helped.
Thing is if you're good at talking you can still be attractive to many women. If you're an ugly short introvert whos socially awkward no matter how much you try to talk to people then you basically have nothing. Its either be an extrovert, be attractive or lucky enough to be both as a guy or just be fucked because of things completely out of your control no matter how much effort is put into achieving social and physical attraction
The casual queerness is really what I really appreciate. Along with all the good points, lots to digest and think about. Another banger video, thank you for your work!
I look at photos of me and my girlfriend and I can't help thinking what an odd couple we make, we are so different physically. For example, I've always had a complex because of my height and she's shorter than me. But with her, I don't care about my height. The reason I started developing feelings for her was when I realized how kind and loving she was. Of course, I think she's the most beautiful person, but she could have looked completely different and I would have still loved her because of who she is, and I'm sure that, in the end, the looks would just be a reflection of their inner being.
Great video, as a black guy who went through a red pill phase in his teens even while not believing himself to be maintaining misogynistic attitudes, it all stemmed from wanting girls to find me attractive and i believe that, as you mentioned with you're experience being around white people thus primarily dating white people, your perception of self and attractiveness becomes muddled. I think it makes it easy for the manosphere and redpill communities to get a lot of young men of color aboard becomes of how they affirm preconceived notions and inherently sexist ideals that we are conditioned towards already believing due to patriarchal norms in society. Great video kidology, keep it up!
Hi, I'm a 26 year old black English man who has observed/watched manosphere content since my teens as well. Looking back, the content mostly had a weird entertainment value for me but had no affect on me ideologically or advice wise (dating); this is because I intentionally don't date (a bit aromantic with low sex drive). On a less individual level like your example, the appeal of the black manosphere specifically for black men (mostly the USA and the West) is the important but flawed attempt to address genuine systematic black family issues stemming from racism. But the problem is that they believe black women have become a part of an agenda to oppress them as men, and they feel entitled to the sort of power, control over women and children, and expression of masculinity that white men had privilege to prior to feminist progression. The white manosphere wants what they think they've lost while the black one wants what they never really had in the first place.
I get that as a brown woman. It feels like people see me as a foreigner. Someone exotic that can only date within their race, which sucks because there are extremely little brown people in my area.
@@lifekindasucksrn6442 I hope and pray things get better for you. Im just focusing on myself and trying to weed out misogyny within myself and be a better person.
Well, seeing a pretty asian lady with a white guy who society says is unattractive is not atypical. Their beauty standards or standards for a spouse sometimes are different than us in the west. I wouldn't have questioned their relationship.
Plus she also can get clout out of dating him women love attention. decent looking woman with slightly deformed looking guy will get attention especially in the social media age.
Asian women statistically choose white men over Asian women, compared to other races. I've personally seen many pretty Asian women settle for worse looking white men, even when they have better looking options of other races. Many of these women perpetuate stereotypes like "Asian men have small dicks" or pick up preferences from media/their parents, like dark skin being unnattractive.
“Clout”? Dude… do you realise how useless social media “clout” is to a beautiful young woman? You’re clutching at straws to insist it couldn’t be genuine love.
@@lsjt8924 Their relationship legit gets them attention. She's alright looking tho she looks like an average filipina nothing special I will admit it is way easier for your average girl to get clout but women chase clout and love it even if they have a lot. You're just coping
My gut reaction to this is to recall how I forced myself to be with someone who I didn't find attractive based on this double standard that women should give "ugly men" a chance whereas it's usually not the other way around. Im now with someone who I find attractive and who I love dearly. I advocate for women finding someone they are compatible with and who they also find attractive. I feel like this couple is happy, and the guy has many qualities that attracted his partner to him. Heck, she may find him physically attractive as well. Not to say that he's even unattractive to begin with. Overall, I can understand why this is the reaction people had, but we shouldn't be so quick to judge strangers or their relationships based on our own preferences.
Thank you for sharing! I've experienced a similar thing. I wasn't trying to give an 'ugly guy' a chance per se, I genuinely wanted to be with him, but it was a long distance thing and I found what he looked like after becoming his girlfriend, and I told myself it didn't matter at all what he looked like and that I would grow attracted to him eventually but it just didn't happen and I kept questioning why I was so shallow. I broke things off with him despite my guilt because I couldn't keep waiting for that attraction to come and he deserved someone that actually liked him physically. It hurt but it was probably for the best.
I think people who were bullied or are insecure about their looks tend to be the most likely to obsess over looks when it comes to dating partners. People who are secure in their attractiveness (physical and non-physical) are more easily able to overlook looks and focus on compatability when it comes to dating.
disagree. I think looks matter for everyone but not everyone is honest with themselves enough to admit it. People love to virtue signal and pretend like they're better than everyone else. But deep down humans are primitive & tribalistic..
@@thelonercoder5816 idk i have a lot of friends who dont care about looks in dating partners as much as i do and that is evidenced by who they choose to date, whereas i care a lot and end up dating much less because of it. I have had conversations with them about it and they always say they became attracted to the person as their friendship/emotional connection deepened. I think insecure ppl, and i'd include myself in that, are less likely to give getting to know unconventionally attractive people a chance to see if there is a deeper connection there.
I don't agree. I've been bullied a lot for my looks. I know I am unattractive. I am anything but picky when it comes to potential partners' looks (not that I have any). The only thing I'm not looking for in a partner in terms of looks is that he is very attractive because 1) I automatically assume he won't be interested in me anyway; and 2) Even if he is, I'd be deadly afraid that his friends, family and maybe even strangers would make fun of me/our relationship because he is much more attractive than I am. So I guess looks preoccupy me, but not in the way you seem to suggest.
A couple of things imho 1.) Women care more about looks then men (make up industry/fashion industry/falling for chadfishing) 2.) Low IQ people prioritize looks very highly 3.) Sexual skill and Fertility are far more important then looks. Long term people who aren't good at sex and aren't willing to learn will see the relationship suffer because they aren't meeting their partners physical needs.
People are so disgusting. I really hope mean comments won't affect them and couse problems in their relationship. They are adorable, seem happy and in love and I wish them all the best ❤️
IMO attractiveness is not that superficial. Roughtly 60% of it comes from good habits (in that order : hygiene, good diet, physical & mental health and style) 20% genetics and 20% of social status. Good luck everyone, i wish you all to feel safe and could find supportive people all around.
WRONG. Looks are 90% genetic. I know people who live horribly unhealthy lifestyles but they have good genes so they still look good. Being healthy doesn't necessarily make you attractive. They aren't 1:1. They correlate but only form a cause-and-effect based relationship at extremer levels (extremely bad health).
@@williamspears1627 Even though some people just have very good looks regardless their lifestyle and well being, that doesn't change the fact that for the majority of people their attractiveness imrpoves a lot when they're physically and mentally healthy in comparison when they are not.
he's nice, genuinely and worked on his pitfalls the second he could, and they clearly both have the same sense of humor - of COURSE it worked out, it's insane and shows how insane and shitty people are online to see that they're great for each other and take that personally and project their own insecurities vs just thinking their videos are cute and funny.
PREACH!! I've felt this so hard about people complaining about the opposite gender and then being surprised or upset when their relationships don't last long or they can't get into them at all. With all these tips stereotyping half the population and chalking them up to monoliths, it's no wonder people aren't forming emotional connections. how can you be expected to deeply cherish your partner and stay with them forever if you see them as a conquest you're proud of or a pretty decoration. I've seen this so often and as someone who has been in a really healthy relationship for a while (at least in modern day standards) at a young age, i find all the relationship advice I give to be the same basic things that I thought everyone knew. Mainly open communication and honesty. I guess it's a lot harder to achieve than I thought (and as a severely mentally ill person i KNOW it's hard) considering the things y'all leave unsaid. It's lost on the majority of relationships these days. I do not need to wonder at all why the divorce rate is so high
I agree that relationships can't be founded just on looks, but disagree that there is a dichotomy between it being about looks or personality. If two people don't both find each other attractive they will probably not get into a relationship, that's just how it is. How many people (that aren't over 50, at which point looks probably really stop to matter) do you think would say that they find their partner unattractive? I don't think this is a conscious choice either, people say things like it "clicked" with that person but can't really point out why, or crushed on somebody after the first time they met, this can't be explained solely by compatible personality. I believe the main difference between a best friend and a partner is mutual sexual attraction.
I'm over 50 and I would say looks matter even more to me in the sense that it's relatively easy to look decent when you're young. I work out 3X a week, do 300 situps 4-5X/week, and jump rope when I can. A lot of people my age are out of shape and overweight. It really does take effort to maintain yourself as you age. I don't expect a 50 year old to look 25, but it's obvious when someone hasn't taken care of themselves and that's definitely a factor when it comes to attraction.
@BarriosGroupie Walking doesn’t cut it if you want to be in excellent physical condition. You’ve got to get the heart rate up and keep it there for some period of time which depends on your age and condition. Walking only helps those in terrible condition. Even then it beats up the knees, feet, hips, spine if you get the speed high enough to do any good.
I think being attracted to your partner is definitely important, but that it is possible and potentially more common than people think to be attracted to someone who doesn't fit the definition of what is conventionally considered attractive.
People who expect their partners to look forever young and perfect are major red flags. Just shows they’re going to chase after the same age range even as they get old. Beauty always fades, you should be with someone for their personality.
Random but there’s an incel I remember seeing videos of years ago named eggy or something like that. All I could think once I saw him was that he bore a striking resemblance to someone I knew irl who was married to a gorgeous 10/10 woman. And he was not a rich man by any means, a pretty humble average guy. Basically crushed the entire idea of incels in my mind. Thinking you’re too ugly to ever find love is kind of a self fulfilling prophecy. “If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” -Roald Dahl
See you're taking an exception and treating it as standard. Incels exist for a reason. Most women aren't interested in men that they consider physically unattractive. This is a fact. Maybe YOU don't care about physical attraction, but most women, at least in the West, do. Of course not ALL women are going to care about looks, even Incels acknowledge this. But most do.
this has always been apparent to me. physically attactive people whose entire persona is snark, insult, sarcasm and self possession are at the very bottom of my "want to know" list. and, indeed, their attractiveness lessens in my eyes with every mean word they spew.
@@williamspears1627 Most men do too. People(yes women too) can’t get sexually turned on if they aren’t sexually attracted to another person. Nobody is denying that(yes there is a small percentage of women and men that don’t care as much ab looks) but nothing wrong with most women and men caring especially at first about the physical. But if that’s the most important factor then you’re fucked, cause we all will get old and ugly and die in the end. That’s why God or in general similar values must come first(especially if you want kids with the person). No matter how hot your partner is, if you want kids with them, them being hot is the most irrelevant thing lmao. No amount of hotness can make any sane guy have kids with an ig model that’s a hoe. Nobody wants their kids inheriting that soul and personality. So yes while looks do matter to most humans especially at first, with time being spent in a relationship and memories being shared, looks matter less than they did at the begging that’s for sure! Although that does not mean that both men and women should get unhealthy or fat or ect. You can still control some things and workout even if you are 50,60!!
Cut the bullshit. Eggy is LEGIT ugly. Rarely are people what can be considered legitimate or objectively attractive, or unattractive, simply because our subjective beliefs tend to inform what we find beautiful or unattractive. There are, however, a rare handful of people who will be found beautiful or unattractive by the overwhelming majority of people. Eggy falls into the category for the latter. Then, take into account all the mental issues he likely has (probably stemming from childhood trauma) that disallows him from forming stable, loving relationships, add in misogynistic propaganda and you have the recipe for your average incel. Yes, we know that the mental instability many of these men suffer from is probably the biggest stumbling block they have (especially considering not every incel is physically unattractive plenty are just average), but let's not pretend that looks for those who are in the unique position that Eggy is in as far as being legitimately ugly doesn't play a huge role in how they're automatically perceived by people. I actually hate how people gaslight ugly people in this way. I'm in no way a fan of incels and their toxic and misogynistic propaganda that spreads like a cancer, but I'm not going to sit here and pretend that a broken clock isn't right twice a day when it comes to how society views and treats ugly people. People with the same mental issues Eggy likely has who are physically attractive are given far more grace and second chances by society overall, and they're given the right to fail, even upwards sometimes. Which is not something people who are legitimately ugly like Eggy has avialable to them. And that's just facts. Which is why I completely understand their anger and frustration when people tell them "just be confident, bro, just take a shower man, I know someone who looks just like you who gets SO many chicks" etc. Because it completely ignores the very real discrimination and bullying unattractive people face in this world and how it impacts their social lives. And the Twitter thread about this couple proves that. People aren't being cruelly cynical for no reason when they made those comments the way this video is trying to assert. People are just commenting on the very probable situation that it's a transactional relationship because unattractive people who are in relationships with attractive people are typically transactional in nature, by an OVERWHELMING margin, specifically BECAUSE of how this society treats unattractive people on average. If you don't possess a resource people can use you for at the least, you simply aren't seen as valuable to society if you're legitimately unattractive. And no, social media isn't to blame for this. Social media might magnify the issue to an alarming degree, but humanity as a whole has been this way for some time, now.
Wow this is such a well thought out video! My husband and I are both pretty middle of the road looks-wise (although we of course find each other very attractive) and were both called "ugly" a lot as children. I think because of that we both learned how to make ourselves interesting and attractive in other ways. That's not to say that people who are stereotypically "attractive" don't have other desirable traits, but when you aren't traditionally beautiful you find other ways to stand out. I think it's really important to remember like you said that beauty is not forever. We will all eventually get old and lose our sex appeal for the most part.
I don’t understand why we wouldn’t celebrate a relationship like this, if it is in fact genuine. It’s awesome to see people having the opportunity to meet and create an amazing life together. In a world where there’s an immense amount of negativity and animosity, I’m glad we can witness something positive. I hope they have a wonderful life together! For the people out there who are hurting, alone, and angry - I pray you have peace, experience love, and one day make the decision to be a kinder person towards yourself; and others. Prayers and blessings y’all 💛
Wow I think this is my favorite video from you. I love how "fed-up" you seem throughout, like you're disappointed to have to explain this to adults 😂 I enjoyed hearing about the couple's backstory. They seem really funny and laid back. The kind of people I'd like to have in my life. Sort of reminds me of my relationship. My boyfriend and I are both normal looking people but we get told all the time that we could "do better". (As in, I'm told I'm too attractive for him and he's told he's too attractive for me) Thankfully we like each other's personality too much to care. And we want to marry and last a lifetime, so we acknowledge that we won't always be young and attractive. I almost feel bad for the people who encourage me to leave him for someone better-looking, because they may live a lonely life with such a superficial attitude. Cheers to the couple in the video. I love seeing strong, lasting romance. A breath of fresh air among our culture of shallow dating.
I really hope for all people that they get to their later years and can say what my dad said about my mom. He was watching her across the room and was asked what the past 40 years with my mom were like. He responded “They were the best 40 years of my life” This wasn’t because she was perfect or hot. They made each other happy. But this was only possible because they knew what mattered. I’m sad for people, men and women, who follow charlatans down a road of superficiality and “sexual market value” or whatever you want to call it. It doesn’t lead anywhere good.
I can't tell you how.... refreshing and clarifying it is to see them post unapologetically as a couple. This video also made me more aware of the toxic mindset I've been stuck in for years. When I first saw them on my fyp, admittedly I had my doubts. I judged. I'd been bitter about my own experiences and so weighed down by my insecurities, that I was stuck in the belief that it wasn't possible to find someone who loved me deeply for myself. It was impossible to find someone who'd think I'm worthwhile with all these perfect, flawless women walking this earth. Beauty has been tied to our worth for centuries, so how could I not adopt that idea? I didn't believe a deeper love existed out there for me. I thought that true, genuine love only existed in fictional pieces of media. But it's out there. You have to put in the work to be kinder to yourself, so that you can face the real world, and all the horrible people in it. Even if their hatred is so loud and overwhelming, you can't let them win. You have to confront all the obstacles in your way, one step at a time. But you will find it one day. And it will be so worth it.
These "lovely guys" can't even fathom why a girl could be flattered by a man with unstable health flying across continents several times to visit her 😂
Well that’s it! I’m leaving America! 😅 I’m not sure why it isn’t messaged more strongly but relationships only really work when interests and goals are aligned. The interests cover the short term; the goals cover the long term. If you’re getting into a relationship for reasons other than aligned interests and goals, the fuse is pretty limited. I’ll just add that one of the first things to understand outside of simply enjoying the other person is understanding and respecting their tolerance for risk-taking and having an honest conversation with oneself about whether there’s really a fit there. It is true that people can adapt and change but generally they won’t because change is metabolically expensive and brains are designed to conserve energy. Understand your own limitations and you’re more likely to understand and appropriately relate to the space of possibilities of others.
@@beewest5704 I would ascribe values to interests i suppose, but I agree wholeheartedly. I have dated people with very different political views (I’m pretty centrist) and had difficulty finding a negotiated understanding because the other person found no room for an intersection of interests. This seemed to be apparently out of self-preservation? It seemed to me that in some cases people feel like if they give you a thread, their entire fabric will fray. Some people’s traumas become anchors to their value system and you simply have no way around that if you’re not perfectly in alignment.
I feel like there is no real shortage of completely "average" looking people. I don't mean this is an insult to anyone or any group, it's just that this obsession with looks in different ways is growing exhausting. To me, there is no shortage of perfectly good looking "average" people, on the surface. That's why it's called average. The issue is finding someone who shares the same values and with whom I can have a connection and share romantic chemistry with. That's where someone who is "objectively" okay seems a lot more attractive, because I don't think attractiveness is just down to simply being decent looking, because the majority of people already are. If it was just that, we wouldn't have such an issue of people growing lonelier and staying single for longer.
That dude is definitely not someone I would date, but I'm not about to obsessively write paragraphs trying to psychoanalyze why they're together. My time is much better spent actually dating the people I have access and am attracted to.
This truly resonated with me because I've never been the kind of person to be attracted to someone based on their looks, call it being demisexual, or whatever, but what truly makes me fall for people is how good is the bond that we share and how do they treat me. I remember my ex (and their friends for that matter) asking me why was I even with them, or that I was too pretty for them. It makes me feel bad that people give so much importance to looks when what truly matters is how you treat others. This applies for jobs as well; it doesn't matter how qualified you are. If you're unpleasant to other people, they won't want to work with you.
you are such a breath of fresh air, i really love your videos and your takes - they're always so well thought out and well balanced. i really hope your career continues to grow and flourish - we need more voices like yours these days.
The blackpill is a philosophy that argues that physical attractiveness is the most critical factor in determining men's dating success, especially in modern Western countries.[1] A man's money, status, and social skills are argued to be other factors of secondary importance, which is known as LMS theory. An expanded or alternate definition proposes that a man's dating and life outcomes generally rely on genetically determined traits.[2][3] As a consequence of these beliefs, blackpillers often argue that men's dating issues require systematic rather than individual solutions, if there is any solution at all for the most disadvantaged males.[4] Someone who holds a certain amount of blackpill beliefs is called a blackpiller or blackpilled.
@@Marty_RUclipsrThat describes the western countries only. The blackpill exists on a mass scale solely because those societies openly deny reality and nature. Their structures are fragmented to where love alienates them. The low fertility and broken families come to mind. The countries with a high fertility rate are redpilled. A redpilled western man is either an oxymoron or, they are a religious hermit. Because at large, those societies have basically gutted any incentive for men and women to bother having a relationship. Nevermind establishing a family.
I been following them on RUclips for a long time the comments on their videos are often very sad . People in the comments often express jealousy towards the guy cause he has found love and they haven’t. I personally find them endearing and funny
I definitely seem to experience attraction differently than most people, and that is probably partially something I was born with, but I think it’s a bit of a mindset thing too. I can’t pretend to totally understand most people’s thought process when it comes to dating since I’ve only had feelings for two people before and I think I might be incapable of initial physical attraction to strangers, but I always felt like a lot of people weren’t being totally honest about how they experience attraction. I’ve never understood how almost everyone (young people, at least) seem to be attracted to the same features as everyone else in their culture, and it sometimes makes me think to some extent people pursue partners who they know to be attractive, rather than partners who they are attracted too. Like, a big part of what makes conventionally attractive people so attractive is how attractive the idea of being with someone who other people want and admire is. This makes conversations around dating trans people and fat beauty and racial preferences so much more frustrating, because some people talk like certain groups are objectively unattractive somehow, and I genuinely don’t believe them that they are incapable of being attracted to so many types of people no matter who the individual is. Maybe in some cases they know that that group is not openly (we know that many men are attracted to types of women they are afraid to date publicly and confess this only to said women or engage in secret sexual relationships) sought after in their society, so they decide logically that those people are ugly, even though they could, because it’s simply never occurred to them to look at potential partners through their own eyes. We’re so convinced that the worth of a relationship hinges on the score of positive aspects of a person (weight, money, race, age, gender performance) that a lot of us don’t even know what we find beautiful, or who we might choose to pursue in a social vacuum. I definitely believe that this mindset is the main contributor to incel/red pill culture, since those men usually lack a few points on the checklist of desirability they see in their heads. Even though we often talk about women being sexually objectified and men being taught to believe that their pleasure comes first, I think most men think of themselves sexually as tools with a specific purpose to perform, and they extend that to their roles in romantic relationships. It’s really very sad. I want to clarify that I did not write any of this to shame anyone, and it is perfectly fine to be picky, motivated strongly by looks, or to enjoy fulfilling tradition roles in relationships. I do not think I’m better than anyone. Maybe think harder about who you call ugly though. I am also only in high school, so my perspective on all this could drastically change as I get older.
This was a really good comment. I've also seen people afraid to be ridiculed for their attraction to certain people. Like they'd be afraid that dating someone considered less valuable (=not conventionally attractive) will decrease their (social??) value as well. Kinda like how those older men show off their young girlfriends to appear more wanted, more valuable. Fear limits our choices, and avoiding that fear it's impossible to be completely honest with yourself and open to your own feelings of what could be attractive.
Can I just say it? The guy's nice and for sure gotta be hella great to make a girl actually fall for him online (for such q long time), he showed effort and is clearly humorous and confidant to make these troll TikTok. This is attractive!!!!
I used to think id never fall for a guy who looked unnatractive but i did. There was a classmate of mine from last year , and id make fun of his looks since he had lots of acne, and a crooked smile. I eventually started to like him because he was funny, book smart , and confident in the way he spoke to everyone in the class. I stopped caring about how he looked and i got a crush on him lmaooo but i got rejected in trying to be his friend so i deserved that ...but i learned my lesson
So I will say this… attraction in general matters. Now I’ve met some men who I would say are pretty physically attractive but due to their lack of substance, became less and less attractive to me. However, I gotta like whom I’m around to be in a relationship with them. I think this couple you highlighted is sweet. I’ve been open minded in my quest for love but I’ve had a lot of trouble dating because of the initial attraction piece for me.
Thank you- people are so shallow nowadays they take physical appearance as the only redeemable quality women look for in a partner. It's simply not true and catering to this shallow mindset is damaging. I'd rather a great personality in a person instead of simply good looks.
I really appreciate your point about niceness... Look at the other Scott for example: he was nice to a random call centre employee who lives across the world and this led to the other Scott finding a (hopefully) life partner. Talk about butterfly wings and hurricanes
You never fail to bring us the most nuanced takes and everytime you talk about a topic that I've already heard about you still always manage to help me look at it in a new light. One of my favourite RUclipsr personalities, I hope life treats you well!
This is very interesting! My mother has told me many times she just doesn't really care about physical appearance/attractiveness. She told me she was never that specifically attractive but always had boyfriends anyway because she was fun to be around, lol. My parents have genuinely one of the happiest relationships I've ever seen- in the beginning they didn't think it would work out because their personalities were so different but they complement each other perfectly! :)
I think the reason why so many incels and manosphere guys feel the need to assert that this relationship is a sham, is because if they had to accept the fact that conventionally less attractive men can be with a more attractive woman, they can no longer blame their own looks as the reason why they're alone. And then they'd have to grapple with the realisation that hey, it's actually my shitty personality that's putting women off.
It's harder to change your personality than your looks. It takes a lot of energy and commitment so a lot of these manosphere guys are focused on looks because its easier to tackle than changing the basis of who they are and it's destroying them
Many of those comments were women
Whats the point of ridiculous blanket statements like this who completely undermines womens influence and agency in the dating market? Did you not see the part of the videos where loads of women were throwing stones at this couple too just because of the guy's appereance?
It’s because the validity of their relationship would entirely destroy the foundations of their worldview.
Youre sooo right !!
Scott might not have been born with conventionally attractive features, but the guy clearly takes good care of himself. His hair is well done, his clothes is flattering on him and he seems fit. I don't think most guys realize how attractive that alone is
There are many guys who do that who still don't have anyone attracted to them
Attraction really isn't that simple. It ain't 2 + 2 = 4
Face > Body
@@painunending4610of course it isn’t all, but it definitely puts them “above” people who don’t. Sometimes the reason they aren’t finding a s/o is because of their living area (certain cities or countries are much more difficult to mingle in depending on several factors), personalities, social interactions, ability to go after people they’re interested in etc. Also, sometimes it takes a while to find someone, it’s not really something you can rush.
@@higo4067 Yes, like I said it isn't that simple.
You can do everything 'right' to put yourself above other people (which is a gross way of looking at it to be honest) and it may never work. Meanwhile someone may do the exact opposite and get what you want. Life is chaos
@@painunending4610 true, I didn’t mean to come off that way btw, I do think it’s a gross way to think of it as well
have you ever seen someone’s craziest “hear me out” crush? i’ve seen people admit online they are attracted to questionable tv/ movie/ video game characters that are not conventionally attractive, and sometimes not even human. it’s about demeanour, work ethic, talents, how someone talks, how they move, and so much more that makes up attraction.
i thought the same thing, people are out there going absolutely nuts because of some dusty, raggy old MONSTER from some anime or video game or whatever that has committed many attrocities but draw the line when someone's dating someone that doesn't match their level on the attractiveness scale. funny those things only happens on the internet, if i were to be disgusted at every couple that one was good looking and the other one wasn't i'd have no respect for couples formed by absolutely amazing people, including my own parents 💀💀
Every fantasy world and mass effect
Reminds me of how people would judge me for the crushes I had. They would flat out just be like “ewe, you like him/her? They’re ugly, why?” like I didn’t realize I was choosing my potential partner based on YOUR preferences, but ok lol but of course even after explaining it they couldn’t comprehend that attraction goes further than just looks
@@simpingfor2d98not Mass Effect 💀💀 them Asari and Quarian women had young Berleezy in a chokehold 😭
@@nunugirlswag109 Fr! And well...There's Garrus, he truly awakened something in me 👁👄
I know Scott personally. I know his family, I used to be friends with his sister when i was in high school, Scott is a very solid, attentive dude, smart af, he makes bomb ass food and has a killer sense of humor and personality. When you know him in person, it makes sense that he bagged a baddie with a good head on her shoulders🤷🏽♀️ but a lot of men out here with their egos all hurt because they’re entitled and feel like they have something to offer that Scott doesn’t have. When the reality is, women prefer solid men who will make us feel good, respected and cherished over some misogynistic chad with no real qualities of humanity or empathy,who worries ab imaginary gold diggers of his imaginary “gold”, obsessed with body counts and has a shit ass personality, but men are gonna deflect and avoid that conversation at all costs and we all know that🤷🏽♀️
Thanks for sharing. And I loved the rant 😂❤.
Cannot agree more.
PREAAAAAACH THAT SHIT
I say as a lesbian but the same standard applies to all couples tbh
@@lolroflkartoffel123As a Filipino man who was born and raised in the west (by both Filipino parents), I also see the "white worship" thing. Growing up, we'd go to the Philippines on family visits and many of my cousins who, as still very young girls, would ask me to keep an eye out for a "nice white man" to introduce them to when they grew up. There's definitely also socio-economic opportunity implications that comes with life in the west, but the obsession branches deeper and further out than this. For the record, I'm not in the US, so this perspective is certainly not specific to America.
Those things aside, there's great merit in this man for not having regressed down the incel path. Honestly, it raises a scorning mirror back up at people who look for anything to blame for their own circumstances other than doing some tough introspection and working towards growth.
(Edit: typos)
he can COOOOOOOOOOK!!! instant ten fr /hj
It's sad that people think that this man should not deserve love because of this attractiveness. It really shows how much being physically attractive matters today. People forget that just being a good kind-hearted person with self confidence could attract people. This case really shows the tiktokification of standards in society and what people truly value.
By their standards they’d pair him with someone they deem “matches” his looks or they wouldn’t care if he died alone.
they think she deserves more.
People have slways done looks-matching and to be honest, I used to do that all the time… as a child.
It’s a very simplistic and uninformed way to go about things, which is why it’s usually peoples in their teens and early 20s, or those in “redpill-esque” “life is biological impulse only, man club woman, pull to cave” types.
what a cope lmao. where you livin?
@@BloodWired very true
Honestly I get why she fell in love with him. He comes across as someone who is secure with himself, has a good sense of humour and charisma.
When you fall in love with someone it genuinely is not a case of overlooking them not being physically attractive. Those unconventional features do become endearing and attractive because they are tied to a person you really adore.
True but creepy that this whole thing started after a call centre employee tried to use private information to reach out and contact a customer.
@@PityOnlyFools I guess, but honestly I today's world I'm not going to judge that too harshly. I remember when people who found their partners on online dating websites were considered creepy because what weirdo goes trawling on the internet for a stranger to date? Dating has only gotten harder and harder, and specifically young people are more and more disconnected from each other. I would hate to be stuck in the Dating world in this climate. God, I'd even hate to be a young person just trying to make friendship connections. In this case it worked out, and it sounds like they were genuinely friends before they became romantic.
Those features become attractive in which sense?
@@Returntonature145 I am talking about that person with those particular personality traits and how they carry themself are linked to that face and body. You love their smile, their physicality. My husband is not conventionally attractive, but to me he is extremely attractive. Before I met him if you had just shown me a photo of him I likely would not have considered him attractive, but being around him is different because for me there is just something about his nature and personality that "fits" him. And before it's mentioned, when we dated and got married we didn't have any money. We were just getting by week to week. The opposite can be true of conventionally attractive men: they could look beautiful but when you meet them that level of attractiveness disappears. I have never had a "type" when it comes to physical features and the people I dated all looked very different, but personality wise there are definite similarities between men I have dated.
Has anyone considered the fact this odd couple is a case of assortative mating? She could be insecure and chose him for his lack of attractiveness, knowing he would stay as a count of not being able to attract someone as hot as her. It’s a control phenomena.
The world doesn't like ugly people, especially when they find love😢😢
My pop psychology theory: "if another ugly person can get an attractive partner, why can't I? Is it because of my...personality?"
That's not true at all
@@melitajay nah he just got money & a opportunity of a green card.
I mean, at least with this first couple, she was pulling away from that kiss for a reason. We just don't know the true dynamics of the relationship to go about claiming the lady is "trapped" or he's forcing her to do something she doesnt want. It may be very well faked and they are both in on it for clout. It's bad acting either way, hard to believe they are a real couple. (still watching btw)
@@dances_with_incelsexactly if they really don’t like “ugly” ppl they would not even know if they found love
I think it shows how ableist society is by just jumping to "he's ugly she can do better" when he has a chronic illness...its like they're saying she deserves someone who doesn't have a disability/disease. It makes sense though because we often associate health and attractiveness with "high value" or nicer people.
this video makes me so upset. i have cystic fibrosis, a pancreatic and lung disease that causes stunt in growth, weight loss and pale skin. i fortunately have not experienced any of this as it is more prevalent in boys. luckily my little brother doesnt have cystic fibrosis but if he did have it and had the features i'd mentioned above and the internet was bullying him i'd hunt down everyone who hurt him. my disability doesnt define me and it shouldnt be the reason someone doesnt wanna be with me.
@@nestormestizoman stfu. She’s happy w him and loves him for him, illness or not
@@nestormestizoshe deserves to be with someone who makes her happy and fulfilled.
Yes, the ableist aspect is so prominent in this. Ableist society doesn’t see disabled people as equal, attractive or even as sexual beings or potential love interest. Just because we are disabled, no more reason to it.
And this relationship shows, that there’s more to a person than just health. Being disabled is a part of you, but not your entire being. I am just very happy, that these two souls found each other (:
@@nestormestizothis is eugenics. Nazi shit. Genocidal. I hope you- oh wait tos says I can't say that. Oh well. Fascists get the rope.
As a culture, we rarely show attractive and ugly people next to each other, let alone being in a relationship together. It gets to the point where I think people look at this couple, and see basically a cartoon crossover. To realities, with completely different artstyles, that somehow yet combine. I dare say, it triggers the uncanny valley effect in some people.
@Babycake. that is literally what I'm saying. Because there is no desire to depict or see "ugly people", we end up with a culture exclusively depicting hyper attractive people.
I'm not telling anyone to change this, I just think it explains why people are so baffled when there is a romantic couple like this.
That is a really good observation!
Beauty is subjective. They are of the same level
My perspective is that, Unattractive people are deemed inferior, I think attractive people seeing unattractive people loved and happy makes them very mad and jealous and gets them thinking “why don’t I have that”
Maybe its because it really isnt that common? I mean, studies have shown that people are most likely to date those who are on the same level of attractiveness as them. Also, the happiest couples (mostly who grew old together) are proven to have similar features
Just entered a relationship with a man who is significantly less conventionally attractive than me... i feel the stares tbh. Being a foreigner, I also feel that people judge me without knowing.. that they think im using him.
He has less money than me, and i've been in this country for 10 years (meaning i have permanent residence) so, wth am i using him for?
Truth is.. hes just nice. Kind, as he says it. Pure heart, full of care. Sees my insecurities and wants to help me leave them behind. He genuinely cares for me. Yes, he likes how i look, but hes willing to do so much for me, just to make me smile. Even with the pain he suffers daily (chronic nerve pain) he still just wants me to be comfortable and good after a days work.
I love them btw :)
My standards are so high, I couldn't care for looks or money.
Good for you! Blessings on your relationship ❤
Not being nice but genuinely being kind to everyone is what we need.
why?
Women are naturally cruel towards inferior men, life isn’t a Disney movie .
@@helvete_ingres4717 being nice in my experience is a mask. Genuine kindness comes from the heart. Like a parent sending a child that love to rough house to school and saying “play nice”.
@@goldenlioness868 kindness is literally all we need to feel happy and feel love for everyone, it’s genuinely the solution to everything
@@rebecaromero2957 exactly! It’s up to us to change the world, together.
I think when you're just looking at pictures or watching a screen, it's easy to think of attractiveness as some quantifiable thing, but when you feel the pull from someone in real life, you can't really describe exactly what it is that you are attracted to, and when you are in love you couldn't care less what other people think of the person you're with. After all if you are really love someone, you would want to be with them for a lifetime, which means they will get old and not fit a stereotypical definition of "attractiveness" anyways.
Agreed. There is a lot of diversity in the appearances of my exes. They tend to have similar personalities though.
I've experienced this in real life also. There is this woman who isn't conventionally attractive, looks okay in photos.. HOWEVER her energy in real life is so freaking magnetic it's insane. So many people are attracted to her and she isn't even the smiley social butterfly type. Her whole aura makes her attractive in a unique way. Photos and short videos really do a disservice in evaluating attraction.
@@BashaerB-h2c so true, some people really do have an aura and a lot of good looking people get less attractive the more you get to know them.
It is true. I have had crushes and felt in love with a number of different men and even with friends, they all looked different, had different races and often had very different personalities. But they usually had some things in common, like being very intelligent, careful with others feelings, shy and introverted in the beginning and most of all, humble. Oh, and dimples.
This is kind of how I found myself falling out of love recently. I used to look at my partner and see this gorgeous flawless (like, I saw the flaws but they didn't matter) person, reacted to the touch and stuff. Now, all I see is just a human. It's sad to think that after a few days away from home the only things I was missing were my bed, my work and my plants.
i mean, when i first started dating my boyfriend a lot of people were hating on my choice saying that i was wayyy too pretty for him. i’ve always have been known for my looks and such and have a lot of people interested in me. people found it odd that i chose him. but i didn’t even realize that other people found him unattractive, because his looks drew me in first.
it's disgusting that people felt entitled to comment on you, your choice, your relationship from the outside just on his looks tbh
It's utterly rude!
It's always good when You decide to degrade Your personal status and help someone look better.
@@BlinJe the constant comments hurt me and him a lot. especially since he is the sweetest and most understanding person i know. people just truly don’t value personality anymore.
@@sleepingstudy2259 I'm glad you found a good person to be with. All the best to both of you.
I think some of the saddest moments I’ve seen in life are when people do not pursue a relationship with someone because their peers deem that potential date to be unattractive. Worry less about what your “friends” think and more about your own happiness.
THIS
100%. I'll take a "nerdy" looking partner who makes me laugh over a boring and conventionally attractive person any day of the week. People seem to acknowledge this less and less these days. All this social media/self-obsessed/clout chasing/delusional/robotic/youth dominated (because it makes companies money, not because 20 year olds are somehow now smarter than their elders; they've just been more easily brainwashed these days with the internet and tablet parenting) crap that's shoved in our faces a thousand times a day tells everyone to strive to look like a carbon copy of every bone shaved and filler filled nepo-baby. It's almost comical at this point.
This may sound corny but to me personality and charisma are everything. In my teens there was a very conventionally attractive girl in school, who I really admired because I was kind of an ugly duckling. This girl turned out to be one of my bullies and as soon as I realized this she suddenly became so unattractive to me. You can be the most conventionally beautiful person in the world but if you have a garbage personality this makes me instantly see you as ugly. It's as simple as that.
Yeah... that's called COPING
yeah! i always say 'everyone is attractive unless proven otherwise'
that 'proven otherwise' is when that person turns out to be not as great as they seem
@@dannyarcher9002 no it's called valuing personality rather than only focusing on looks
@@josiea.3855 an attractive person is attractive regardless if this nerd tries telling himself she's not cuz of pERsonality.
I'll say it here, unless u act ret@rded, personality is a myth guys. It's just different flavors that amplify ur looks. But 0 X 0 = 0
@@dannyarcher9002no one likes you
Growing up I always thought I was a disgusting ugly beast due to teasing and general low self esteem. When people are attracted to me I feel like they're joking and I start feeling really insecure and awkward. After all these years of feeling horrific about myself Ive slowly started to accept the fact I am just an average looking woman, and as I've began to accept this it seems due to the media we all constantly consume that average isnt good enough anymore- average is the new ugly. Which is ridiculous, frustrating and generally upsetting. It is important to be attracted to the person you're with, but there is no excuse to insult people for their looks. Personally I know how destructive it is to ones self image and importance, and I feel like it's just going go get worse and worse. Thank you for another fantastic video Kid.
I've never related to this so much. When I was a kid, i was teased because i was chubby(despite the fact that i was healthy nonetheless and rarely got sick), so I lost weight and i thought high school would get better. It was the same. I was teased for not looking attractive(facial features). It only got better in university. Society has drilled it into our heads that you're only worth their time If you are hot and slim.
@sg9099 holy shit, same 😢 I always get sad that I'm not as pretty as other girls that I see in social media and start to think of myself as unlovable. But I think I just need to come to terms that I'm average looking compared to other girls and that's ok!
I'm a guy and definitely guilty of viewing the other person as pranking me
You? The pretty girl in your profile pic? Being teased? Can’t believe it. Girl in your profile pic is so pretty!
Yes, average and untouched by cosmetics has become the new ugly. Happened recently as well, like with Milly alcock and Bella Ramsey being told they’re too ugly to play the role in their newest hbo tv shows by white men and even some people were saying mean stuff about emma Darcy but I realised they’re just people who haven’t had lip filler nose jobs or braces
Ah, so what I’ve learned is that it’s illegal to not be traditionally attractive on TikTok. Interesting.
Another reason why I have zero regrets for not using that app.
Tiktok is such a useless app. A place where common sense goes to die. It literally rots the brain.
I'm not on that app but seemed to me that it is the opposite, just look at the most popular beauty gurus like Mikayla Nogueira, plenty of them are not conventionally attractive yet very popular.
@@morgianasartre6709that’s one person not plenty lol. most of the popular videos on that app are pretty people lip syncing an audio with a stolen caption
this is extremely true, i use it
@@morgianasartre6709 No, I'm on the app. Pretty people are praised 24/7, if you arent conventionally attractive the comments are absolutely evil. Very sad.
Hearing you read those Twitter comments honestly broke my heart. It's crazy how comfortable people have gotten with being mean on the internet. Especially towards people they don't know.
People are frustrated with their boring, lonely offline lives and spilling out their misery to those they perceive to have something that they don't have, online.
Yeah, never mention the obvious truth at all
They’re both slaying. the fact that they’re making funny jokes instead of getting offended by the trolls is so amazing.
I grew up in a small town being the fat, boring, unattractive, weird "friend" (they were never my friends to begin with) in a group skinny "beautiful" and sport loving people who would reject me every time they could, but they were the only people my age I knew and I've been with them from kindergarden to the end of highschool. I can't begin to explain how messed up I am now after years of altering my personality and preferences to fit and trying every sport and diet out there to be more attractive unsuccessfully cause I never could go down the 168 pounds mark. I was made fun all my life for liking people, I stopped taking photos at sixteen cause I hate how I look, I have an anxiety attack at 19 trying graduation dresses, I'm 21 now and only eat a meal a day cause I start feeling like crap the moment I go for a second, I can't have nor enjoy sex, I was called skinny for the first time in my life and lift up for the first time in my life and had a meltdown cause I couldn't accept that I wasn't killing the person that was holding me with my weight. I'm as skinny as I've ever been everybody says that I look great and I still hate myself. Sorry for the long comment I just needed to rant.
Yes, and the comments trying to say that looks don't matter are absolutely lying to themseleves. Being unattractive will cause people to perceive and treat you as less than which can absolutely negatively effect your self esteem. I'm happy for this couple and the hate their getting just demonstrates that society heavily values looks.
I hope you find what you need the community that cares about you, find your family, I hope there are some groups of concentrated interest that you can join and have some fun in. Maybe a concentrated hobby.
@@raindaviszonly if you base your self-worth on other people's opinions. Once I broke free of that none of that s*** mattered .
I've actually known Scott & Divine IRL! So when I saw your thumbnail I was like "👀 wait a sec... is that Scott!?" I don't have Tik Tok so I've only tangentially heard about how popular their content had become, and I'm sad at the hate people are throwing their way. It's not my place to talk about their lives more than they've already shared, but I can confirm that the story of how they got together that Kidology summed up is 100% true! They had talked to each other for years before deciding to get married, and being a social media couple was not something they had decided on until a while after they were married. Glad to see they're doing well and trolling the trolls they get haha
i follow them online for some time and I love their couple. the only thing that I don't understand is people calling Scott ugly, when it's so obvious that his facial/bodily features are affected by his illness. you can see that he would've been considered an extremely handsome guy if he was healthy. he obviously looks a little unusual, but in no way ugly or scary...
I’ve seen them a few times on my fyp and anyone with the tiniest sense of humour can see that they both love each other and are very playful. They get a lot of positive comments too so I wouldn’t worry too much.
They always get hate comments, but now, they’re also amassing more and more of an “army” of people who smack down all the haters on their behalf 😁 Truth tends to win out, and the truth of their relationship being genuine is definitely doing that 🥰
@@peculliar that is what ugliness is. The whole point of physical beauty is to inform on health for producing offspring.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but ugliness is universal.
Saying he'd be beautiful if he wasn't ugly is really weird.
@@Arkhs to me ugliness is neglecting beauty that you have when you are born - getting fat and unhealthy, botching it with excessive plastic surgery. and in his case you can clearly see he has big correctly placed eyes, nicely shaped nose. his jaw and teeth look like this just because of the illness, look up other patients with scleroderma. and I think in cases of ilnessess it's different. majority objectively wouldn't call someone with a horrible excessive scar tissue or missing visible organs and limbs conventionally attractive. and there are some people born with rather unattractive features without having any disease. but idk, maybe I see ugliness differently, I like weird sickly looking models, for example, with eyes far apart and huge cheeckbones. some people would call that ugly
In my opinion, it's just jealousy. Those men in the manosphere love to lament about, and use their physical appearance (short&ugly) as an excuse for their perpetual singlehood. They also love to numerically rank people's attractivenessand based on physical appearance (biological). So, seeing a couple like the one Kid is talking about challenges their view of the world, because how can that is ugly (on their level) manage to one not be single and two have a girlfriend above his level? It means that their looks isn't the only thing that prevents them from a relationship and they can't accept that. In their mind, women are shallow and interesting in only. So they look for excuses to justify this couple's existence. It's much easier to be fatalist and to see the world as black and withe than to look for solutions and change. For all their talk about female shallowness they never realise that they are some of the shallowest people out there. It's their own shallowness that stops them from seeing women as individuals, who are attracted to different things and like men for more than their looks.
Their stupid rating system alwaysakes me laugh because it's not even helping them to get into a real loving relationship with a woman. It's good hopefully they continue to exclude themselves from the gene pool with their stupidity.😂
@@Tessy29k another funny thing is they say "10 and 1 is not real". obviously never loved a person for who they are, thinking they're a 10 despite any potential flaws. Even if you only look visually, I can name youtube creators or poeple I've met irl that I though were a 10. Sure, maybe their nose is a bit big but who cares, you don't look at a nose but at a face..? and if you love someone even a 5 can become a 10 so it's stupid. It's funny to see celebrities (who are never natural because even men have make up in movies) like Hanry Cavil or Megan Fox being like 8.5 max or something. No, still not attractive enough for a reddit guy xD
Its a circle jerk of self pity. These guys are on twitter rating women like margot robbie "mid" not because she isnt attractive (like she objectivley is) but because they want to punish women and degrade them into subjugation. They are mad that women cant be forced into relationships anymore. They dont seek out partnerships with an equal partner they want to control and dominate a sex object. Thats what they are mad about, not that they cant find a partner!
This whole "I am so ugly women are so shallow and dont see us" is just to make them seem like the victim when they are not even seeking out equal relationships.
What about the women who were also throwing stones
Idk about you but I’ve been single for five years because im autistic and all that Disney channel bullshit about how looks doesn’t matter is still a huge lie. And the statistics don’t lie you can’t just take this one case of a fugly dude who managed to get into a relationship with someone hot the stats really do show women chase the top 10% and that aligns completely with my personal experience you can look at a outlier data point all you want but the averages and median just show how vain we all are. I don’t want to date after seeing how women treat men who aren’t there yet there isn’t an ounce of sympathy there and I don’t even look for anything it all ends the same especially for guys like me. A few days after my uni graduation I’ve also been called the most selfish person my father has ever met but that’s a strength in todays world where a single medical bill can and will ruin your entire life and it’s the only thing that even got me through my uni bills thus far. Yeah I probably have a shit personality but how the fuck do you expect me to change that with zero support groups and in a world I’ll never find love for being autistic and it makes forging connections that much harder. Maybe it is my personality but if you think I’m going to change to get a woman I’d rather play Diablo there is no world where rewriting yourself to get a woman who will leave you is valuable. I fucking hate most people and I trust nobody especially after sniffing through so many scams. in this place and I see a lot behind the scenes working in finance we are all vain and completely not focused on starting families and only when we are single at 30 like the people I see in my finance job who despise the world will we realize we fucked up in not pursuing unity and it’s easier and more fulfilling to be in a relationship not entrapment like the left loves to say. Like this shit is ridiculous we are so prude I can’t even ask people in person and I get denied by every tinder date after they see I’m autistic and then they try and blame my dumbass for being an incel like any of this shit is my fault. You fail to see the point that men are absolutely judged by their worth in their ability to attract and even the most leftist woman would agree that they judge men in this regard. If my dumbass were to tell my SLT guys with a wife and kids that I haven’t had a hug in five years during the prime of my life of Fucking course that is going to reflect very poorly on myself so I don’t understand the entire argument hating on guys like me with valid complaints about the way women select and then trying to chalk 63% of young men’s lack of dates to just a changing world where we all are just gonna die alone it’s such idiocy. And the completely horribleness of women on social media and the shit I’ve seen going on on how women select st frat parties has overwritten my natural drive to start a family im so disgusted by it. We have let corporations own love now the most personal thing to us ever and that on top of entitlement and only selecting the best is ruining dating and you can flip it on guys shit personalities but why do you think none of us are dating. I also find the hate against passport bros who have taken one look at this fucked dating scene to be really stupid just let guys who are more masculine have something in life that isn’t shit and it says more about women in the USA that we prefer to do this now you can hate them for it all you want and call them impoverished but I’m starting to think that’s my only toption in the world for love I’m not going to die alone cause Snapchat showed my soulmate a better option and she’s brainwashed into thinking all relationships are entrapment like every liberal media piece does today it’s so stupid.
Even if we're talking just about physical attractiveness, I think it's important to remember what we all know:
1) tastes are not universal, like, they really arent at all. even with still pictures, no context, we won't like the same ppl, and it only gets more complex once you add variables, by seeing the way they move, the sound of their voice, their vocabulary, etc.
2) the way someone looks in photos or videos is way different than the way they look in real life.
3) your past has an influence on who you find attractive. it's not their fault but if someone looks like someone who hurt you, you can't really find them attractive, unless you really work hard on erasing the first instinctive repulsion you feel when you look at them. If on the other hand they look like someone you look up to, it makes them more attractive even before you've said a word to them.
4)the vast majority of poeple are neutral to us: we don't find them attractive, and we don't find them ugly either, they have the potential to become either and it mostly depends on their attitude.
I ran into problem with 3 years ago. There was a girl at work who liked me, and i turned her down because she "reminded me of my sister." She took it well, and we're still friends, but some people hated me for that.
@@cultreader9751 that makes perfect sense to me, its pretty healthy not to want to date someone who looks like your sister. For me, there was a guy i found really attractive just two years ago and he r worded a friend of mine well now if i see a guy who looks like him all i feel is repulsion and fear because duh.
this is all so true. great summary of attraction
I agree with all those points except partly for your first point. Although there are different preferences in looks, there are certain traits which have been found to always be attractive (there are plenty of studies which prove this). Those who are "super attractive" all have similar physical traits.
@@Thomas48484a part of them are personality traits though no? i'm thinking someone who's good with kids becomes more attractive
OMG I have lost count on how many times I've read "that the heart wants what it wants" when it comes to toxic relationships! But God forbid it should happen within a healthy relationship?!!!
As a retired cultural anthropologist in the USA that specialized in international migration, I've got to say your segment on "passport wives" in America (or "the West" generally) is brilliant!
Kudos from a new subber.
Thank you for verifying the legitimacy of that segment of the video!
I’ve seen so many posts on Twitter about attractiveness with couples. One stating, “ your partners appearance is a direct reflection of your self worth.” The tweet had 10k+ likes. I feel like more than ever bc social media caters to beauty, people are more vain than ever. They no live in a reality where you can’t associate with “unattractive people.” They want beautiful homes, babies, friends, husbands, wives. G-d forbid one it not like the other. Personally I view people like this as never knowing/feeling love or beauty, they’ll never receive or experience it because their inner world is truly ugly. If you can’t find beauty in everything, you’re lost.
Plus being mean to your core makes you physically ugly.
that's a real tweet? that's so wild
People are so pathetic sometimes..
Omg yes! I’ve met some very attractive people, got to know them and they become ugly very quickly. Looks are literally never enough! Couples that have been together for decades always attest to this, their reasons for continuing to love their partners usually fall on things far less superficial.
I agree. I think a person having such strong shallow judgements of others appearance usually tells me the person struggles with compassion for themselves and probably would not be a compassionate friend or partner when it comes to body image. I try to remember this when I get rejected by people who I later find out have fatphobic or rigid beauty standards
I would hope that at least a FEW people would’ve responded with something like “your perceived superiority of looks over personality and value reflects the depths of your shallowness” or something bc like…. Hello??? Some of these ppl entirely missed their Disney phases.
I loved your points on passport bros and greencards. They are the same thoughts I've had as a Nigerian woman, especially when you brought up that 3rd world women are not stupid 33:47 . There are much better ways of immigrating to the US if we desperately need to. Marrying an American for a passport is inconvenient and more trouble than its worth
Ummm… she’s kinda off base with what she said. Passport Bro aren’t Marrying women out of the US to bring them back that toxic land they staying in said foreign land with their wife and to clarify it was American women calling foreign women stupid not the passport people so yeah. TikTok is there for everyone to witness it as it is still happening to this day.
Idk it happens a TON in the Philippines and it's not because of love lol.
I KNOWWWW!!!! I cant with these passport bros who come to eastern Europe to find "real traditional women"
They will be so surprised when they find out that women here go to college, work, travel (since apparently a worldly, well traveled woman is a red flag), party etc... Our great great grandmothers didn't just cook, clean, give birth and look pretty for their husbands- they worked, knew how to handle firearms, were politically engaged even before women here got the right to wote and they would poison their abusive husbands with diarrhea medicine
The last thing those women would want for me is to be a subservient wife to some spoiled western man
@@plamondonworks6948Hm. The Philippines also has a nurse-to-US-citizen pipeline, don't know how much that factors in.
@@plamondonworks6948 I agree and I say this as a man who married a Filipina (though we are looks-matched, close in age, and she had the opportunity to come to the US on a J1 visa as a teacher).
I believe that it's possible that, initially, this girl was interested in this guy because of the possibility of getting a green card. I do believe she ultimately fell in love with him, but I think this is how it started (even her initial story is questionable).
I remember hearing somewhere that it's a business to make the sexs hate each other, and as a former cringy tate stand (😅sorry), I'm really starting to see that. This video gave me a nice refreshing dose of reality that love doesn't care what you think. It just happens.
Ohh you’re spot on actually!! I am completely convinced that this whole ,,gender war” thing is pushed by the media and elites to make young men and women hate each other and therefore, lower future birth rates and destroy the family unit(cause what keeps the family stable at the core, are mom and dad). That’s why andrew tate and radical feminists both got so popular, cause the ,,elites” actually equally benefit from both sides of the same coin. Radical feminists are making confused young women hate men, and andrew tate;red pillers are making confused young men hate women. It’s kind of bizarre and sad once you spot endless similarities on both sides and the constant need for each side do demean and insult the opposite side. All a part of a bigger, much more evil plan to destroy future families and make people now and in the future, lonelier than ever. Cause it’s much easier(for elites and powerful people) to control a bunch of angry,lost, lonely people, than to control people in stable marriages and families filled with love(even more so if they on top of that belive in God).
Don’t be sorry, be proud of yourself. And yes in my experience it just happens 😂
if it bleeds it leads.
we evolved to focus more on the negative because that's how our ancestors survived. research shows that earning a lot of money so what we call succes, doesn't correlate with happiness (they matter only to a point where you're comfortable with some disposable income) but Tates of the world will try to sell it to you as the goal. just like Hollywood before them. at the same time, they will find an enemy to blame everything on because anger motivates people far more than joy (also proven by research). What gets more views and comments on yt? a controversial take from a red pill comunity or dr K's short (a psychiatrist who makes self-help content). Both are saying they try to help you and yes, both earn money from youtube but one feeds on anger, on finding enemies (just like any political party - they also lie they care about you) while the other is positive and makes content based on actual research, not feelings
It's the fact that you have an open mind to change your opinions that matters, so don't be sorry!
hey at least you’ve grown out of that mindset and are willing to admit thta
I was honestly shocked at the vitriol Scott got from OTHER incels. I'm used to them hating women for existing but the hatred for Scott felt personal, like he had "betrayed" them despite not even knowing him.
its like a death cult
@@AlienZiziBasically. Incels don't want to change; that's too hard. They'd rather self‐loathe, externalize & project all their problems onto other people & society. They're enslaved by their own unwillingness to assume responsibility over their lives.
most of the people doing the hating were women lol
@@hi-mv7egdo you really think there are no incel women ?
@@hi-mv7egalso a lot of women think this is a competition because they've been told that their entire life. Society's really dumb.
They are so wholesome and the trolling is hilarious. I love them. People really don’t realize how attractive someone can be based on their confidence, personality, humor, depth, etc.
Personality = green card and money
It's a anecdotal evidence 😅
Vast data shows that their is a pattern to attractiveness and their are certain traits that both men and women find attractive in each other .
This particular couple is in news bcoz they are a microscopic minority and that's why they're famous.
It's obviously not impossible but incredibly hard. And let's be real, that guy would have 0 chance in any dating app, which sadly more and more people are using.
@@salvatrucha86 you know there are a lot of other men who passport bro down to the Philippines
@@salvatrucha86 there are many other men who passport bro to Thailand and the phillipines
Media, including social media has been alterating what we see as "average" for a long time.
Now we have steroid fitness coaches and heavily filtered women on every single reel or page. The more time you spend OFF the internet, the better. You will see normal looking couples everywhere.
Its noticeable for example when British dramas are known for being so "different" because they dont tend to centre around choosing actors for their looks over acting ability.
I've never understood the obsession over what other people are doing - it reminds me of high school gossip. Some humans really do never grow up, unfortunately. I do believe it comes from insecurity and immaturity.
Moomin Valley Avatar :o
I agree with you on everything, except one thing - The more time you spend OFF the internet, the better. It's not the internet that's the problem. It's the social/trashy media that's the problem. I spend a lot of time on the internet, about 60% to learn/work, and 40% to relax (games, traincab videos, etc.). Whenever I take a dip into the "social" sphere of the internet, (to read a news article, or watching some philosophy/psychology videos) I often have to do a double take, because I'm exposed to the highly artificial (dare I say fake) world you mention, or comments from people that have become obsessed with it.
tl;dr: It's how people use it that's the problem. Plenty of good stuff on the internet.
@@gogudelagaze1585 I wanna agree with you, furthermore it explains why I have the idea that basketball discourse is toxic, cause I only have it online and don't know anyone who like to talk about it in person. Me and my one friend who does follow the nba always have pleasant talks about the sport.
I too have noticed that modern histeria, (wether from right or left), doomerism, catastrophising is a lot more prominent on the internet then in real life, once i started spending less time on my phone and more in real life activities
@gogudelagaze1585 there are fantastic parts of the net. I've experienced the same as you, even with organising my net carefully ads and recommend videos have consistently been pushing tiktok e girls and twitch streamers, just all the incredibly vapid stuff.
personally some people i've dated i might have considered "average" if i didn't know them... but if there is a spark and we hit it off based on a shared interest or something and i find them even slightly pretty to begin with, my attraction just keeps growing. once that switch is flipped from no attraction to attraction, i find more and more reasons i am attracted to them until eventually i am attracted to them BECAUSE they are them and we're so close. plus things other than looks are very attractive to me, like if someone smells nice/what perfume they wear, their body language, etc. not to mention there are people who are demisexual and fall for their friends without it really mattering what they look like physically.
there's a very big difference between dating someone slightly less conventionally attractive who's compatible and makes up in the personality department (been there, done that) and dating someone who is objectively ugly while being objectively beautiful yourself like in the case of this couple. I'd never hate on them or make vicious comment but I guess I am just too egalitarian to see such couples and be overjoyed for them, especially since it's almost always hetero women selling themselves short, which is clearly a byproduct of (internalized) misogyny.
you nearly never see an ugly woman with a hot bf and that's simply a fact. many people try to play it off as "but the hot guys often have plain personalities, and are sexist players" but this doesn't mean less attractive men are much more likely to be "good guys". and again, kind of average-looking pairs can be read either way, some people would be more attracted to one person, some the other. I'm talking about situations where the woman is stunning, takes immaculate care of her appearance and the guy just looks borderline deformed, has a pot belly and is balding. sure in many such cases women actually Are gold-diggers but I know so many gorgeous, highly-educated, successful straight women who are with men who are subpar in every possible capacity and they don't even treat these women well, do anywhere near as much as half of the chores nor even bother to give them a gift for their 30th birthday. in those cases I genuinely don't know what a straight woman gets out of a relationship apart from the social validation .. that she's in a heterosexual relationship.
and before some mras come at me, I also don't like when the woman is a lot less attractive in a straight relationship, or if one person is significantly less attractive in a gay relationship (happens a lot more rarely). call me a visual equalist I guess.
as a lesbian I have dated a woman who wasn't as conventionally attractive as me but the difference wasn't too big. when I see women who look like supermodels on dating apps, I obviously swipe left as well because I want an equal not someone I feel unworthy of and would feel insecure next to. people honestly need to realize that attractive people have the right to and do mostly date other attractive people. I don't expect anyone to lower their standards for me and I am also not going to settle for someone I'm not particularly attracted to. while liking someone for their personality can definitely give you love goggles and make them look more attractive, it still doesn't guarantee that they appreciate you the same way. so as a university lecturer, business owner, and a reasonably attractive person (been compared to Scarlett Johansson) I'd rather be let down by a woman who's on my level I guess than one I gave a chance to only for her to disappoint me after hitting on me, planning our life together and tell me I'm perfect just to run away. I sometimes got the feeling that she felt insecure next to me so maybe the inequality not just in looks but other areas (she was a jobless struggling art student) is what made her randomly sabotage our otherwise perfect relationship. this again just proves that equal relationships fare better long-term.
@@linh4820 I do see your point, but I honestly feel like you're taking your personal experience and making it into a universal rule. I am not devaluing your experience, and it does sound like that decision of yours makes a lot of sense for you personally. But maybe don't hold other people to your standards, since there are people out there who don't care about the looks of their partner. And even if people DO care and stay in such an "aesthetically imbalanced" relationship anyways, I wouldn't judge them or call them insecure, since I don't feel like that's my place. You never know what's going on inside someone's head or heart, since you're only looking from the outside in.
@@talunae.8924 I don't really judge individual relationships based on looks (sure I may think aesthetically mismatched couples look odd but ultimately that's not my business). however, I am tired of the misogynistic pattern of women always being expected to lower their standards, especially straight women when it comes to men's appearances and behaviour. sure, the female sex is more empathetic according to scientific studies yet we are still perceived as more vain and shallow by misogynists when all evidence when it comes to lookism in relationships points to the contrary: that straight men are much more critical of women's appearance, place a lot more importance on conventional attractiveness and lust after young women in their 20s even when they're crusty old men. none of this is some projection of personal experiences lol. as a lesbian I have obviously never dated nor will ever date men and straight women's sexuality has no personal impact on me either.
all I am really saying is that there is no shame in wanting to date someone on the same level of conventional attractiveness to you, unless one is unable to experience sexual attraction, it attractiveness absolutely matters and it's very strange of straight women to increasingly boast online about dating "a medium ugly man" they admit to not being physically attracted to as if dating them was some grand consolation prize and made these women somehow morally superior and not shallow.
@@linh4820 We need an equivalent for the term "gold-digger" for men who only value and seek out looks in women! But is it surprising that there isn't one yet?
Most people are average that is the very definition of average.
When I was younger, I was a divorce attorney, and the most hateful couples that wanted to destroy each other were always the "beautiful" people, lol. I used to have to hold in the laughter when I would see them, because my brain was going "guess what YOUR "relationship" and marriage was based on...how's that working out now"? I view people who try to do anything more than only f..k over hotness to be literal clowns of the high order, plotting to suffer in domestic hell and eventually burn stacks of money.🤣 Why don't modern people just use online type dating the same way we used to use "singles bars"? Just for sex. You DON'T meet a spouse that way, good god.
My parents were only physically attracted to each other. Their relationship was toxic and my mother didn’t allow us to see my father causing me trauma in my adulthood and thousands on therapy. But hey, at least I’m beautiful 🥹🥲
@@NikitaHuntI feel bad for you really. I hope you are way better now as an adult despite all this trauma.
Honestly it makes sense that those couples are the most hateful, because many of them were most likely built majority off physical attraction and were very incompatible in terms of personality.
@NikitaHunt lmao same. They got married bc she was pregnant after a few months of dating. Both good looking, neither can actually keep a relationship. They're a joke. I'm glad I got their genes though, and they were examples to avoid so in trying my best to not allow myself to become like them
My boyfriend and I are pretty attractive but we are also best friends. I don’t know if I’m blind to this because I’m in love. But I can’t imagine being in love with someone solely based on looks. I feel like this is very much over simplifying it. Yes, there might be some correlation but it’s not the same thing as causation. I think temptation might be more so a cause for failing relationships. Two very attractive individuals will always be subject to more temptation as they are attractive to a lot of people…
People have said some truly vile things to my husband and me about our relationship because of how we physically look. He's a big guy, so they immediately judge. He's also extremely sweet, caring, hard working, funny, my best friend. It's so sad that people think they should openly give opinions to other people like that just based on what someone looks like.
My new friend fell in love with her childhood friend and they’re currently engaged. I was really excited to see him and he wasn’t that good looking but I told her I was happy for her. I felt a little guilty for being disappointed but he’s so sweet to her and that’s the only thing that matters. It just reminded me to check myself.
I think a significant component of this is envy. The manosphere tells men that they can't get women without high attractiveness, money etc., so when they see other men "getting" a woman without these things, it clashes with their worldview as well as making some of them angry that it hasn't/"can't" happen to them as well. Envy causes people to tear down what others have.
Man, not men.
Oh, he has money lmao. why do u guys think shes with him
@@bro918did we watch the same video bro? she just said that his wife makes more money than him lol? so it must not be that
Modern people are simply quite superficial and alienated from the human experience. You know I know it sounds crazy but people can actually fall in love even though they do not necessarily match physically. I also know it is crazy that not everyone is viewing people as a product.
Looks aren't as important as things like fertility if you want kids or sexual skill which will affect the long term health of the relationship.
Yeah people confuse attraction with beauty standards. Just because Olivia rodrigo fits the beauty standard doesn’t mean we all want to sleep w her
People confuse attraction with compatibility, commitment or love. Attraction is necessary but not the MOST important thing. Just because someone is attracted to you does not mean they want to stay faithful to you, commit to you in an actual relationship or marriage, care for you or even stop sleeping with other people. How many people are cheating on each other even while they live together? Even living together doesn't guarantee true love and commitment.
Beauty standards aren't really important when it comes with building a long term relationship that lasts the test of time. You need to be compatible in terms of your goals, dreams, visions for the future and lifestyle for what you both what in the long term at the SAME time and you also need to understand each other emotionally and be willing to compromise or sacrifice in the same way or in a way that makes BOTH of you comfortable. It's why you can have 2 good looking people together who just never work out because they don't want the same things and never will.
It takes a lot of personal unlearning to get rid of this repulsive need to appear perfect in your relationships (and really, in all your dealings). I still struggle with feeling the need to get external validation, for my decisions, relationships and the whole of my personal life. The truth is there's nothing more beautiful and fulfilling than wholeheartedly loving and being loved. Scot looks like a very tender and loving person and Divine's smile seems warm and genuine. I hope everyone can someday be content enough with themselves to be happy for this couple.
I like this video. I'm a woman that's ugly in other people's opinion. It took me 6 years to start liking how I look, when I was a teenager I was in deep depression because of people's opinions on my looks. I recently got out of long term relationship and now that I'm trying to find someone interested in me I struggle to keep liking myself again. Everytime I talk with someone i get compliments about how funny, inteligent, nice I am, but I know that as soon as I show my face those things won't matter anymore. I'm not mad about that tho, I'm just tired. I just want to be loved and love back, that's it lol
I’m aro ace, which means I don’t know what romantic attraction or sexual attraction feels like. I used to think that having a boyfriend meant looking for the one guy you’d like to be “super besties” with, and now that I have a bf, I still think of him as my super bestie.
Not being able to feel what many would call “the feelings that make us human” made me sad, but I also think it’s a blessing because I don’t have to think whether I feel “a spark” or whatever when considering to date someone. My whole criteria were: asexual (of the kind that doesn’t need sex), able to hold a logical/intelligent conversation.
My bf is honestly higher than me in the looksmaxx scale, and sometimes I wonder why he insists on being with me when he could get a hotter gf, but I think we have chemistry in the sense that my weaknesses are his strengths and vice versa so we complement each other well. I think we can work out problems that will definitely arise down the road, since we’re both understanding of one another and that relationships require effort.
You are only young. You will feel everything everybody else feels.
There is no “aro are ace”, these are stupid made up lebela made up by people in the 2020s. You are a normal young person who still has to grow and experience life. Trust me.
I am lucky I grew up when this crazy ideas about genders and sexualities still have not being made up
i don't mean to be a bigot or to disregard you, i am asking this because im genuinely curious. how are you aroace and have a boyfriend..? how do you have a relationship with no romantic interaction or attraction? i absolutely get when there's no s-xual interaction, i've been with an ace person and it didn't stop it from us having a relationship. but a relationship is based on romantic or s-xual interaction, if has none of the two wouldn't be just a friendship?
@@sakaom no worries! It’s a confusing topic and it’s always nice when people try to understand rather than invalidate 😛 In my case, I care about my bf’s wellbeing, I want to plan a future where we both support each other like a team. It’s like a romantic relationship, except I never felt butterflies in my stomach, or any other feeling that people describe feeling when they fall in love. I’m with my bf because he’s the first asexual guy I met, and our goals in life matched perfectly, so I said “this is the one” and have been loyal to him ever since. I hear that there’s a form of love that’s between romantic and platonic called alterous(?) attraction, so that might be what I feel lol it’s different from a friendship in that I prioritize my bf over any other friend (when their needs of me overlap), and I wouldn’t plan my life around being with a friend like I do with my bf. Tl;dr I love my bf but the feelings of love aren’t what people describe when they describe romantic attraction (I used to think people exaggerated their feelings before I realized I was aro). Hope that made some sense!
@@TadanoCandy it made a lot of sense, thank you! i didn't know about alterous attraction before and its nice to know, i wish all the best things for you and your boyfriend ♥
I was one of those guys who had horrendous acne, felt like a monster because of it, and spent years on intense diet, exercise, and education to try to compensate in other ways. I am glad it was before social media really took off, because I could have easily slipped into the incel or nice guy tunnel if those communities existed at the time.
That being said, you are right that it only takes a few rejections to spiral into self loathing. Once I got over my acne, I was never insecure about anything, and had a few very stable and organic relationships over the years that I should have prioritized above my career. It only takes being left for a bigger, richer guy once to shatter that confidence. Now I’ve been on the apps for a few months and understand completely how it can ruin mental health for both men and women.
Save yourself, get off the apps now! 😨
I met fiance on an app. My previous boyfriend as well. You can find someone but not everyone finds someone quickly. Sometimes it takes time.
I completely understand you, I'm now having a new "wave" of acne and my self esteem has lowered quite a lot. I also compensate with working on other aspects I deem attractive, not only physical, but about my personality also.
We all tend to focus too much on our weaknesses, when others sometimes do not even notice it... I personally don't really care about other people's skin.
I'm sure you are a wonderful person yourself 😊
When you say you got over your acne, do you mean you cured your acne? Or you just stopped caring.
Its great that you didnt slip into that mindset but I just want to point out women with acne exist, overweight women exist, women with disabilties exist and also women get rejected. And yet we dont see women forming hate groups against men and even going on shooting rampages bc they believe that the entire male gender has conspired against them. Its only men who do that. Its bc of a sense of entitlement that women dont have.
There are a lot of clichéd super attractive male celebrities that I just... have no interest in.
It doesn't mean those men are ugly, they are just not attractive to me.
Their story is pretty damn sweet, it is rather gross how people will go out of their way attack these random people on the internet.
Her breaking up because she thought he was lying about a hurricane is pretty hilarious.
Of all excuses, a hurricane is easily verifiable with a google weather report, haha~
Exactly, just because someone is conventionally attractive doesn't mean I will like them. I can admit that they're good looking but also not my type.
@@hogatiwash7750 True we do not find every good looking person attractive.
This is such a huge thing, I tend not to be as attracted in real life to the most conventionally attractive people as should be expected. I often find that people think I'm dating down but really I just think that most conventionally attractive people don't have anything special about them, they just have vaguely symmetrical faces and no obvious flaws.
@@alexjames7144 I find flaws and quirks can be very charming features!
I totally get this. I don't really find conventionally attractive people, well, attractive lol. I've felt way more attracted to normal looking women I've met or even women people would describe as "unattractive".
I rarely comment on your channel but I wanna help the algorithm. Also can I just say that men who think they are getting "submissive wives" from 3rd world countries are in for a real shock once they actually marry them (if they succeed in marrying them).
I had a guy on a dating app asume I was "submissive" because I'm from Mexico and then tried to explain how feminism ruined society and procceded to send me a video about why women should realize they have no value.... I was shocked and honestly offended. Put me off dating apps tbh.
I appreciate bringing the bisexual perspective into consideration on this topic. It's so interesting having such different standards for ourselves vs people we find attractive. One girl I met while travelling was very used to male attention and had guys pursuing her all the time, despite having a bf. Her friend, who admitted to being used to regularly being passed over in favour of her, was so attractive to me. Attraction is so complex and I feel to generalise it takes the wonder out.
Really good video, came up on my recommended so hope the algorithm isn't doing the creator quite as dirty anymore 👍🏻
There’s definitely some gut feeling that makes you doubt when you see a couple that doesn’t match but to go from there to deducing that they’re a fraud is just too much 😂.
There’s so much we don’t know about them as people go judge their relationship.
Well said
Jealousy and insecurity
People are just jealous that no one could over look their awful flaws. People think they only have to be good looking when their personalities are truly disgusting. It's good because such superficial people will always remain alone. Makes it easier for more mature and real people to meet each other.
That gut feeling is called being shallow
Gut feelings are often based on our own beliefs, perspectives and experiences. So if someone's "gut feeling" tells them that this couple shouldn't be together is fully based on their own perspective, not some universal devine truth
Honestly I get her. My last crush was just like that! Not that attractive in the standart convetional way but wery nice, social and polite to everyone around. He just radiated so much energy and character that everyone loved him. Myself included. My love was unrequited but he still was my best friend who I relied on.
I hate that people call him ugly, he’s not ugly, he’s sick. I also have an autoimmune condition and it’s very hard, we are born like this and there’s little we can do, and those of us who are sick but are invisible to others (we look healthy) are able to see both sides of the coin, when people realize I’m sick, the fact that I’m beautiful doesn’t matter anymore, I’m just another unhealthy person roaming the earth, that doesn’t hurt as much, but when I connect with someone, regardless of my condition and attractiveness, when I connect with someone emotionally and intellectually and then just because I’m sick, I’m treated as if I’m lying or deceiving others. Yes I look "normal". I still experience this superficial society that never bothers to learn more about someone more than outward appearances. I’m beautiful but also extremely smart, opinionated and loving, but people only care that I’m beautiful and sick at the same time. Like somehow, I’m an offense to God, it’s very hurtful and very telling of people’s character, when they judge me. Is it really too much to ask to care for the person? Not the idea you have of the person?
I appreciate your emphasis on how we need each other rather than join in on perpetuating this insane battle of sexes that's going on right now. It honestly feels like it's getting worse and worse by the day looking at either extremes.
Hi! Just wanted to pop in to verify that the story of this couple is a very legitimate experience.
Almost identical to this couple, I met someone online 3 and a half years ago and we became best friends over time. I’ll never forget the day I realized “oh crap, I think I love this guy” - despite him never being “my type”, he’s FOR SURE become more attractive to ME over time, now I think he’s incredibly handsome. That’s a pretty normal part of falling in love with someone. (As a side note, we live in different countries, but visa was never either of our goals).
Its crazy how mean people can be on the internet and I feel for this couple. They know what they have, that they’re happy together, and I hope the haters are able to find a relationship like that too one day.
I was essentially disowned and ostracized by family and church for loving and marrying someone they did not approve of or chose for me. But I’m my best self by following my heart and intuition and learned much later that my disfunctional and highly controlling family lead me to feel comfortable in the cult I attended for years. It was my husbands love and patience that helped me leave the church/cult and distance myself from family. I believe the core of who we are seeks love and goodness and we know exactly what we need to feel and be our best, truest self. It doesn’t matter what others think especially if they don’t know you.
i was thinking about this not too long ago. we all get old and our looks have a shelf life, it’s like investing all your stock in a company that you know will deteriorate eventually. emotional, intelligence and spiritual connections is what matter most in my opinion and that’s currently what i seek above the physical.
those things have a 'shelf life' too, sometimes a far shorter one
Yeah women start to feel this way once Tyrone isn’t interested in them anymore
I think feminism has actually helped me with conceptualizing the down time of relationships. I feel the agency to pursue my own career/job paths, hobbies, and social opportunities which allows me to continually develope as a person. I think that it helps me greatly in platonic and romantic relationships to have this strong sense of self because then I can accept the flaws and short comings of the people around me. This means that in the down time where no one is masking there is an even greater appreciation for the genuine connection this affords us.
What lol. That's not called feminism. Nothing you said had anything to do with femininity. Its called personal growth and development. Both genders should create a healthy relationship with themselves.
@@kiaadams104I'm sorry, what? That is literally what feminism has been fighting for for almost two centuries. For women to even have the ability to "work on themselves" and gain the freedom to take part in society as individual entities. It's literally never been about dating.
@@kiaadams104 I think you are forgetting that women didn't always have the room/ choice of personal growth, general agency and development. Everything women did had to revolve around a man for economic necessity. The rise and victories of feminism in the grand scheme of things are actually still relatively new. My mother (and I) grew up in a country that did not (and still does not) view women as people. So we left. She was one of the first to break that curse and become the breadwinner of the family, which resulted in my deadbeat dad abusing everyone because a woman's success made him feel slighted. Feminism is about equality and choice for all. It actually does not only apply to women, but women are of course at the forefront, because, well, history.
@Ana0bella0goth0fox lol I never mentioned anything about dating. The original commentor is combining ideas, feminism and self development are two separate things. You can develop "self" without being apart of society and worrying about tribal status. Self development is about SELF. nothing she said or you said has anything to do with feminism or the feminist movement.
@aubreyplazasuncle again. One can develop themselves outside of the tribe. If a scotiey rejects you, that doesn't mean you can't develop a relationship with yourself. You can still learn to enjoy and love yourself... That is not a feminist idea. It's simply self development
I'm average to alot of men and I am honestly okay with that because most humans are average looking, etc. Not everyone will live up to these "standards" society has and that is okay. I love people watching and have met some people who others deem "ugly" are the ones in longest relationships and actually love the person they are with. I'm starting to see why some people don't post their significant other on social media, people can be rude and make crude jokes about someone they don't even know.
I've been rejected by men my whole life and I am never an option, but now I have changed how I view myself and what I want to look for in a partner when the time comes. I'm prefectly fine with not being the drop dead gorgeous baddie, I believe people should be with someone who allows them to be themselves and willing to enjoy life with.
Sorry! judging by your pfp I have to say you are so pretty! So I don't know about the men, but at least I think you are actually good-looking. I think that just explains how different people perceive others so I'm sure others think the same. It's wonderful that you are aware that having a partner does not show your value as a person or how attractive you are. I hope you have a good day!
@@lucila5125 thank you 🥹💛. Really warmed my heart. I hope you have an amazing day or night whenever you are
If that’s you in your pfp then you actually look good! Which is why I feel like I actually relate: I have had very few relationships and sexual encounters, near 0 success on dating apps and yet…I don’t think or feel I am ugly. But alongside that, I have a better idea of what kind of vibe I am looking for in a woman.
@@CenterSargE awww thank you 🩵. Yes that’s me and same. Dating apps aren’t just for me to get what I want. But it’ll happen for us sooner than we know it
@@sunnni_ MANIFESTING LFGGG
Sometimes you just hit me so hard with reality. You can just say what I could never put into words. Truly inspirational and relatable :)
I think attractiveness factors in on how much tolerance you have for certain disagreeable traits a partner may have. The more attractive they are, the easier it is to look past certain red flags, or things that you otherwise wouldn’t tolerate in a less attractive partner.
facts
ive been with a very attractive and exotic looking guy, the looks definitely made me make excuses lmao.. he treated me terribly, so yeah.. i started dated a "less attractive /ugly" guy by others standards and people looked at me mad funny!
he was truly so sweet, but we didnt work out for other reasons. at the end of the dayー looks matters less to me, idgaf what others think. so fuggin rude..
Bro it’s all about reproducing to pass on good genes organisms are wired to find out physically attractive and robust mates as this is a direct indicator of good genes. Beauty is the priority when picking a partner whether you want to admit it or not.
@@TheLastOutlaw-KTS did you consider that maybe i dont want kids ? 🙄
@@iRLGiRL doesn’t matter you still go for the best mate you can find
It’s sad and quite infuriating to read in the comments that ‘after 50, looks don’t matter because we are all no longer attractive’. I don’t have to say anything because these people will, if they are lucky, be 50+ years old and see it, live it for themselves.
I remember reading somewhere that nursing homes (for the elderly) sometimes have STD outbreaks because the residents are having so much unprotected sex! 😅 I saw the comment you're referring to as well and rolled my eyes cause its clearly false, and I'm only in my 20s.
Lies, Patrick Stewart can still get it.
So do your prefences change to like older people the older you get?
People are silly. The internet is full of so much nonsense. Getting older is the only way these idiots will see the truth, then again at the rate some of them are going they won't even reach 50.
I’ve definitely noticed that my preferences throughout the years in terms of looks have always been around ten years older than I am. Never my age or below.
People confuse attraction with compatibility, commitment or love. Attraction is necessary but not the MOST important thing. Just because someone is attracted to you does not mean they want to stay faithful to you, commit to you in an actual relationship or marriage, care for you or even stop sleeping with other people. How many people are cheating on each other even while they live together? Even living together doesn't guarantee true love and commitment.
Beauty standards aren't really important when it comes with building a long term relationship that lasts the test of time. You need to be compatible in terms of your goals, dreams, visions for the future and lifestyle for what you both what in the long term at the SAME time and you also need to understand each other emotionally and be willing to compromise or sacrifice in the same way or in a way that makes BOTH of you comfortable. It's why you can have 2 good looking people together who just never work out because they don't want the same things and never will.
Here's just my personal experience with being the "unattractive" (relatively anyway) partner and why it might help some people understand.
To summarize a very long (30 year) history, I've never been conventionally attractive at all. I grew up with slight speech impediment and I was chubby kid - obviously I got bullied hard, easy target and all that. Because of that I basically had no self-esteem by the time I left for high school. When puberty hit, it was less bad but I was still a fat kid (albeit a much taller one). I didn't really have any women interested in me until I was closer to my twenties.
But what was the reason for that? I was still medically obese, watched Anime, read books for fun and only did sports that involved violence (rugby, boxing, Muay Thai, etc). On the face of it I was a massive loser and unattractive by most standards in our society - how did I get any woman at all to even consider me?
Short answer, I'm great at talking. Seriously, it's my best trait. I've been told that I'm never boring and can work things out easily between people ("eccentric, but fun" as a newer friend put it). So when I asked my sexual partners or girlfriends, what was attractive about me I basically got the same answer every time: confident, well-spoken, know how to cook, considerate and, I dress well and I'm emotionally intelligent.
You'll notice not once did my looks come up (which used to really bother me) - maybe personality and drive to achieve are more important than some people believe?
I'm still a fat (losing weight, but still technically a big guy) and eccentric, but I'm working to make it into an Educational Honour's program, run my own D&D group and write poetry/short stories in my spare time. In short, I have shit going on and goals. Women appreciate that (I know this advice is skewing hetero, my experiences with men are closer to the toxic "looks matter" ideal) unless they're a shallow person. And really, who the fuck wants to date a shallow person? That relationship has an expiration date in the single digits at best - find someone you're attracted to (however the fuck you define that, I'm not your dad) and see if you can make it work. That's enough from me, hope this helped.
Thing is if you're good at talking you can still be attractive to many women. If you're an ugly short introvert whos socially awkward no matter how much you try to talk to people then you basically have nothing. Its either be an extrovert, be attractive or lucky enough to be both as a guy or just be fucked because of things completely out of your control no matter how much effort is put into achieving social and physical attraction
The casual queerness is really what I really appreciate. Along with all the good points, lots to digest and think about. Another banger video, thank you for your work!
I look at photos of me and my girlfriend and I can't help thinking what an odd couple we make, we are so different physically. For example, I've always had a complex because of my height and she's shorter than me. But with her, I don't care about my height. The reason I started developing feelings for her was when I realized how kind and loving she was. Of course, I think she's the most beautiful person, but she could have looked completely different and I would have still loved her because of who she is, and I'm sure that, in the end, the looks would just be a reflection of their inner being.
Great video, as a black guy who went through a red pill phase in his teens even while not believing himself to be maintaining misogynistic attitudes, it all stemmed from wanting girls to find me attractive and i believe that, as you mentioned with you're experience being around white people thus primarily dating white people, your perception of self and attractiveness becomes muddled. I think it makes it easy for the manosphere and redpill communities to get a lot of young men of color aboard becomes of how they affirm preconceived notions and inherently sexist ideals that we are conditioned towards already believing due to patriarchal norms in society. Great video kidology, keep it up!
Hi, I'm a 26 year old black English man who has observed/watched manosphere content since my teens as well. Looking back, the content mostly had a weird entertainment value for me but had no affect on me ideologically or advice wise (dating); this is because I intentionally don't date (a bit aromantic with low sex drive). On a less individual level like your example, the appeal of the black manosphere specifically for black men (mostly the USA and the West) is the important but flawed attempt to address genuine systematic black family issues stemming from racism. But the problem is that they believe black women have become a part of an agenda to oppress them as men, and they feel entitled to the sort of power, control over women and children, and expression of masculinity that white men had privilege to prior to feminist progression. The white manosphere wants what they think they've lost while the black one wants what they never really had in the first place.
@@kaylemkerr6989 well said
I get that as a brown woman. It feels like people see me as a foreigner. Someone exotic that can only date within their race, which sucks because there are extremely little brown people in my area.
@@lifekindasucksrn6442 I hope and pray things get better for you. Im just focusing on myself and trying to weed out misogyny within myself and be a better person.
Well, seeing a pretty asian lady with a white guy who society says is unattractive is not atypical. Their beauty standards or standards for a spouse sometimes are different than us in the west. I wouldn't have questioned their relationship.
Plus she also can get clout out of dating him women love attention. decent looking woman with slightly deformed looking guy will get attention especially in the social media age.
@@Xero243 completely missed the point of the video☠
Asian women statistically choose white men over Asian women, compared to other races. I've personally seen many pretty Asian women settle for worse looking white men, even when they have better looking options of other races. Many of these women perpetuate stereotypes like "Asian men have small dicks" or pick up preferences from media/their parents, like dark skin being unnattractive.
“Clout”? Dude… do you realise how useless social media “clout” is to a beautiful young woman? You’re clutching at straws to insist it couldn’t be genuine love.
@@lsjt8924 Their relationship legit gets them attention. She's alright looking tho she looks like an average filipina nothing special I will admit it is way easier for your average girl to get clout but women chase clout and love it even if they have a lot. You're just coping
I love scott and divine... theyre actually so funny and well adjusted and seem pretty wholesome
My gut reaction to this is to recall how I forced myself to be with someone who I didn't find attractive based on this double standard that women should give "ugly men" a chance whereas it's usually not the other way around. Im now with someone who I find attractive and who I love dearly. I advocate for women finding someone they are compatible with and who they also find attractive.
I feel like this couple is happy, and the guy has many qualities that attracted his partner to him. Heck, she may find him physically attractive as well. Not to say that he's even unattractive to begin with. Overall, I can understand why this is the reaction people had, but we shouldn't be so quick to judge strangers or their relationships based on our own preferences.
Thank you for sharing! I've experienced a similar thing. I wasn't trying to give an 'ugly guy' a chance per se, I genuinely wanted to be with him, but it was a long distance thing and I found what he looked like after becoming his girlfriend, and I told myself it didn't matter at all what he looked like and that I would grow attracted to him eventually but it just didn't happen and I kept questioning why I was so shallow. I broke things off with him despite my guilt because I couldn't keep waiting for that attraction to come and he deserved someone that actually liked him physically. It hurt but it was probably for the best.
I think people who were bullied or are insecure about their looks tend to be the most likely to obsess over looks when it comes to dating partners. People who are secure in their attractiveness (physical and non-physical) are more easily able to overlook looks and focus on compatability when it comes to dating.
Not really
disagree. I think looks matter for everyone but not everyone is honest with themselves enough to admit it. People love to virtue signal and pretend like they're better than everyone else. But deep down humans are primitive & tribalistic..
@@thelonercoder5816 idk i have a lot of friends who dont care about looks in dating partners as much as i do and that is evidenced by who they choose to date, whereas i care a lot and end up dating much less because of it. I have had conversations with them about it and they always say they became attracted to the person as their friendship/emotional connection deepened. I think insecure ppl, and i'd include myself in that, are less likely to give getting to know unconventionally attractive people a chance to see if there is a deeper connection there.
I don't agree. I've been bullied a lot for my looks. I know I am unattractive. I am anything but picky when it comes to potential partners' looks (not that I have any). The only thing I'm not looking for in a partner in terms of looks is that he is very attractive because 1) I automatically assume he won't be interested in me anyway; and 2) Even if he is, I'd be deadly afraid that his friends, family and maybe even strangers would make fun of me/our relationship because he is much more attractive than I am.
So I guess looks preoccupy me, but not in the way you seem to suggest.
A couple of things imho
1.) Women care more about looks then men (make up industry/fashion industry/falling for chadfishing)
2.) Low IQ people prioritize looks very highly
3.) Sexual skill and Fertility are far more important then looks. Long term people who aren't good at sex and aren't willing to learn will see the relationship suffer because they aren't meeting their partners physical needs.
People are so disgusting. I really hope mean comments won't affect them and couse problems in their relationship. They are adorable, seem happy and in love and I wish them all the best ❤️
IMO attractiveness is not that superficial.
Roughtly 60% of it comes from good habits (in that order : hygiene, good diet, physical & mental health and style) 20% genetics and 20% of social status.
Good luck everyone, i wish you all to feel safe and could find supportive people all around.
did u just pull those figures out ur ass
WRONG.
Looks are 90% genetic.
I know people who live horribly unhealthy lifestyles but they have good genes so they still look good.
Being healthy doesn't necessarily make you attractive. They aren't 1:1. They correlate but only form a cause-and-effect based relationship at extremer levels (extremely bad health).
@@williamspears1627Both of your percentages are silly and made up.
@@tomisaacson2762 Just because my percentages weren't the exact correct answer doesn't change the fact that I'm right.
@@williamspears1627 Even though some people just have very good looks regardless their lifestyle and well being, that doesn't change the fact that for the majority of people their attractiveness imrpoves a lot when they're physically and mentally healthy in comparison when they are not.
he's nice, genuinely and worked on his pitfalls the second he could, and they clearly both have the same sense of humor - of COURSE it worked out, it's insane and shows how insane and shitty people are online to see that they're great for each other and take that personally and project their own insecurities vs just thinking their videos are cute and funny.
PREACH!! I've felt this so hard about people complaining about the opposite gender and then being surprised or upset when their relationships don't last long or they can't get into them at all. With all these tips stereotyping half the population and chalking them up to monoliths, it's no wonder people aren't forming emotional connections. how can you be expected to deeply cherish your partner and stay with them forever if you see them as a conquest you're proud of or a pretty decoration. I've seen this so often and as someone who has been in a really healthy relationship for a while (at least in modern day standards) at a young age, i find all the relationship advice I give to be the same basic things that I thought everyone knew. Mainly open communication and honesty. I guess it's a lot harder to achieve than I thought (and as a severely mentally ill person i KNOW it's hard) considering the things y'all leave unsaid. It's lost on the majority of relationships these days. I do not need to wonder at all why the divorce rate is so high
I agree that relationships can't be founded just on looks, but disagree that there is a dichotomy between it being about looks or personality. If two people don't both find each other attractive they will probably not get into a relationship, that's just how it is. How many people (that aren't over 50, at which point looks probably really stop to matter) do you think would say that they find their partner unattractive? I don't think this is a conscious choice either, people say things like it "clicked" with that person but can't really point out why, or crushed on somebody after the first time they met, this can't be explained solely by compatible personality. I believe the main difference between a best friend and a partner is mutual sexual attraction.
I'm over 50 and I would say looks matter even more to me in the sense that it's relatively easy to look decent when you're young. I work out 3X a week, do 300 situps 4-5X/week, and jump rope when I can. A lot of people my age are out of shape and overweight. It really does take effort to maintain yourself as you age. I don't expect a 50 year old to look 25, but it's obvious when someone hasn't taken care of themselves and that's definitely a factor when it comes to attraction.
@@transitionsnc Why not just cut down on over-eating, and go for walks?
@@BarriosGroupie Whatever works for someone to stay in shape. For me, I need more exercise than that.
@BarriosGroupie Walking doesn’t cut it if you want to be in excellent physical condition. You’ve got to get the heart rate up and keep it there for some period of time which depends on your age and condition. Walking only helps those in terrible condition. Even then it beats up the knees, feet, hips, spine if you get the speed high enough to do any good.
I think being attracted to your partner is definitely important, but that it is possible and potentially more common than people think to be attracted to someone who doesn't fit the definition of what is conventionally considered attractive.
People who expect their partners to look forever young and perfect are major red flags. Just shows they’re going to chase after the same age range even as they get old. Beauty always fades, you should be with someone for their personality.
Random but there’s an incel I remember seeing videos of years ago named eggy or something like that. All I could think once I saw him was that he bore a striking resemblance to someone I knew irl who was married to a gorgeous 10/10 woman. And he was not a rich man by any means, a pretty humble average guy. Basically crushed the entire idea of incels in my mind. Thinking you’re too ugly to ever find love is kind of a self fulfilling prophecy.
“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.
A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
-Roald Dahl
See you're taking an exception and treating it as standard. Incels exist for a reason. Most women aren't interested in men that they consider physically unattractive. This is a fact.
Maybe YOU don't care about physical attraction, but most women, at least in the West, do.
Of course not ALL women are going to care about looks, even Incels acknowledge this. But most do.
this has always been apparent to me. physically attactive people whose entire persona is snark, insult, sarcasm and self possession are at the very bottom of my "want to know" list. and, indeed, their attractiveness lessens in my eyes with every mean word they spew.
@@williamspears1627 Most men do too. People(yes women too) can’t get sexually turned on if they aren’t sexually attracted to another person. Nobody is denying that(yes there is a small percentage of women and men that don’t care as much ab looks) but nothing wrong with most women and men caring especially at first about the physical. But if that’s the most important factor then you’re fucked, cause we all will get old and ugly and die in the end. That’s why God or in general similar values must come first(especially if you want kids with the person). No matter how hot your partner is, if you want kids with them, them being hot is the most irrelevant thing lmao. No amount of hotness can make any sane guy have kids with an ig model that’s a hoe. Nobody wants their kids inheriting that soul and personality. So yes while looks do matter to most humans especially at first, with time being spent in a relationship and memories being shared, looks matter less than they did at the begging that’s for sure! Although that does not mean that both men and women should get unhealthy or fat or ect. You can still control some things and workout even if you are 50,60!!
Cut the bullshit. Eggy is LEGIT ugly. Rarely are people what can be considered legitimate or objectively attractive, or unattractive, simply because our subjective beliefs tend to inform what we find beautiful or unattractive. There are, however, a rare handful of people who will be found beautiful or unattractive by the overwhelming majority of people. Eggy falls into the category for the latter. Then, take into account all the mental issues he likely has (probably stemming from childhood trauma) that disallows him from forming stable, loving relationships, add in misogynistic propaganda and you have the recipe for your average incel. Yes, we know that the mental instability many of these men suffer from is probably the biggest stumbling block they have (especially considering not every incel is physically unattractive plenty are just average), but let's not pretend that looks for those who are in the unique position that Eggy is in as far as being legitimately ugly doesn't play a huge role in how they're automatically perceived by people.
I actually hate how people gaslight ugly people in this way. I'm in no way a fan of incels and their toxic and misogynistic propaganda that spreads like a cancer, but I'm not going to sit here and pretend that a broken clock isn't right twice a day when it comes to how society views and treats ugly people. People with the same mental issues Eggy likely has who are physically attractive are given far more grace and second chances by society overall, and they're given the right to fail, even upwards sometimes. Which is not something people who are legitimately ugly like Eggy has avialable to them. And that's just facts. Which is why I completely understand their anger and frustration when people tell them "just be confident, bro, just take a shower man, I know someone who looks just like you who gets SO many chicks" etc. Because it completely ignores the very real discrimination and bullying unattractive people face in this world and how it impacts their social lives.
And the Twitter thread about this couple proves that. People aren't being cruelly cynical for no reason when they made those comments the way this video is trying to assert. People are just commenting on the very probable situation that it's a transactional relationship because unattractive people who are in relationships with attractive people are typically transactional in nature, by an OVERWHELMING margin, specifically BECAUSE of how this society treats unattractive people on average. If you don't possess a resource people can use you for at the least, you simply aren't seen as valuable to society if you're legitimately unattractive. And no, social media isn't to blame for this. Social media might magnify the issue to an alarming degree, but humanity as a whole has been this way for some time, now.
Wow this is such a well thought out video! My husband and I are both pretty middle of the road looks-wise (although we of course find each other very attractive) and were both called "ugly" a lot as children. I think because of that we both learned how to make ourselves interesting and attractive in other ways. That's not to say that people who are stereotypically "attractive" don't have other desirable traits, but when you aren't traditionally beautiful you find other ways to stand out. I think it's really important to remember like you said that beauty is not forever. We will all eventually get old and lose our sex appeal for the most part.
I don’t understand why we wouldn’t celebrate a relationship like this, if it is in fact genuine. It’s awesome to see people having the opportunity to meet and create an amazing life together. In a world where there’s an immense amount of negativity and animosity, I’m glad we can witness something positive. I hope they have a wonderful life together!
For the people out there who are hurting, alone, and angry - I pray you have peace, experience love, and one day make the decision to be a kinder person towards yourself; and others.
Prayers and blessings y’all 💛
Wow I think this is my favorite video from you. I love how "fed-up" you seem throughout, like you're disappointed to have to explain this to adults 😂 I enjoyed hearing about the couple's backstory. They seem really funny and laid back. The kind of people I'd like to have in my life.
Sort of reminds me of my relationship. My boyfriend and I are both normal looking people but we get told all the time that we could "do better". (As in, I'm told I'm too attractive for him and he's told he's too attractive for me) Thankfully we like each other's personality too much to care. And we want to marry and last a lifetime, so we acknowledge that we won't always be young and attractive. I almost feel bad for the people who encourage me to leave him for someone better-looking, because they may live a lonely life with such a superficial attitude.
Cheers to the couple in the video. I love seeing strong, lasting romance. A breath of fresh air among our culture of shallow dating.
Are those people your Friends😬😬
@@eddyalonsomoramorales6069 No the hell they are not! Lol!
I really hope for all people that they get to their later years and can say what my dad said about my mom.
He was watching her across the room and was asked what the past 40 years with my mom were like. He responded “They were the best 40 years of my life”
This wasn’t because she was perfect or hot. They made each other happy.
But this was only possible because they knew what mattered. I’m sad for people, men and women, who follow charlatans down a road of superficiality and “sexual market value” or whatever you want to call it. It doesn’t lead anywhere good.
We appreciate how detailed you are with your insights. We will always support you.
I can't tell you how.... refreshing and clarifying it is to see them post unapologetically as a couple. This video also made me more aware of the toxic mindset I've been stuck in for years. When I first saw them on my fyp, admittedly I had my doubts. I judged. I'd been bitter about my own experiences and so weighed down by my insecurities, that I was stuck in the belief that it wasn't possible to find someone who loved me deeply for myself. It was impossible to find someone who'd think I'm worthwhile with all these perfect, flawless women walking this earth. Beauty has been tied to our worth for centuries, so how could I not adopt that idea? I didn't believe a deeper love existed out there for me. I thought that true, genuine love only existed in fictional pieces of media.
But it's out there. You have to put in the work to be kinder to yourself, so that you can face the real world, and all the horrible people in it. Even if their hatred is so loud and overwhelming, you can't let them win. You have to confront all the obstacles in your way, one step at a time. But you will find it one day. And it will be so worth it.
These "lovely guys" can't even fathom why a girl could be flattered by a man with unstable health flying across continents several times to visit her 😂
Well that’s it! I’m leaving America! 😅 I’m not sure why it isn’t messaged more strongly but relationships only really work when interests and goals are aligned. The interests cover the short term; the goals cover the long term. If you’re getting into a relationship for reasons other than aligned interests and goals, the fuse is pretty limited. I’ll just add that one of the first things to understand outside of simply enjoying the other person is understanding and respecting their tolerance for risk-taking and having an honest conversation with oneself about whether there’s really a fit there. It is true that people can adapt and change but generally they won’t because change is metabolically expensive and brains are designed to conserve energy. Understand your own limitations and you’re more likely to understand and appropriately relate to the space of possibilities of others.
I would also add same values. You nay have the same goals but different values to get you there & that never works.
@@beewest5704 I would ascribe values to interests i suppose, but I agree wholeheartedly. I have dated people with very different political views (I’m pretty centrist) and had difficulty finding a negotiated understanding because the other person found no room for an intersection of interests. This seemed to be apparently out of self-preservation? It seemed to me that in some cases people feel like if they give you a thread, their entire fabric will fray. Some people’s traumas become anchors to their value system and you simply have no way around that if you’re not perfectly in alignment.
@@blub-tf6rt my comment was being facetious.
I feel like there is no real shortage of completely "average" looking people. I don't mean this is an insult to anyone or any group, it's just that this obsession with looks in different ways is growing exhausting. To me, there is no shortage of perfectly good looking "average" people, on the surface. That's why it's called average. The issue is finding someone who shares the same values and with whom I can have a connection and share romantic chemistry with. That's where someone who is "objectively" okay seems a lot more attractive, because I don't think attractiveness is just down to simply being decent looking, because the majority of people already are. If it was just that, we wouldn't have such an issue of people growing lonelier and staying single for longer.
That dude is definitely not someone I would date, but I'm not about to obsessively write paragraphs trying to psychoanalyze why they're together. My time is much better spent actually dating the people I have access and am attracted to.
Right!
You're extremely well spoken and intelligent, and as an American I agree 100% with what you said about Americans and many of our attitudes
This truly resonated with me because I've never been the kind of person to be attracted to someone based on their looks, call it being demisexual, or whatever, but what truly makes me fall for people is how good is the bond that we share and how do they treat me. I remember my ex (and their friends for that matter) asking me why was I even with them, or that I was too pretty for them. It makes me feel bad that people give so much importance to looks when what truly matters is how you treat others.
This applies for jobs as well; it doesn't matter how qualified you are. If you're unpleasant to other people, they won't want to work with you.
you are such a breath of fresh air, i really love your videos and your takes - they're always so well thought out and well balanced. i really hope your career continues to grow and flourish - we need more voices like yours these days.
It's almost like... the real important part of relationships is how you treat each other, not aesthetics.
The blackpill is a philosophy that argues that physical attractiveness is the most critical factor in determining men's dating success, especially in modern Western countries.[1] A man's money, status, and social skills are argued to be other factors of secondary importance, which is known as LMS theory. An expanded or alternate definition proposes that a man's dating and life outcomes generally rely on genetically determined traits.[2][3] As a consequence of these beliefs, blackpillers often argue that men's dating issues require systematic rather than individual solutions, if there is any solution at all for the most disadvantaged males.[4] Someone who holds a certain amount of blackpill beliefs is called a blackpiller or blackpilled.
@@Marty_RUclipsrThat describes the western countries only. The blackpill exists on a mass scale solely because those societies openly deny reality and nature. Their structures are fragmented to where love alienates them. The low fertility and broken families come to mind. The countries with a high fertility rate are redpilled.
A redpilled western man is either an oxymoron or, they are a religious hermit. Because at large, those societies have basically gutted any incentive for men and women to bother having a relationship. Nevermind establishing a family.
I been following them on RUclips for a long time the comments on their videos are often very sad . People in the comments often express jealousy towards the guy cause he has found love and they haven’t. I personally find them endearing and funny
I definitely seem to experience attraction differently than most people, and that is probably partially something I was born with, but I think it’s a bit of a mindset thing too. I can’t pretend to totally understand most people’s thought process when it comes to dating since I’ve only had feelings for two people before and I think I might be incapable of initial physical attraction to strangers, but I always felt like a lot of people weren’t being totally honest about how they experience attraction. I’ve never understood how almost everyone (young people, at least) seem to be attracted to the same features as everyone else in their culture, and it sometimes makes me think to some extent people pursue partners who they know to be attractive, rather than partners who they are attracted too. Like, a big part of what makes conventionally attractive people so attractive is how attractive the idea of being with someone who other people want and admire is. This makes conversations around dating trans people and fat beauty and racial preferences so much more frustrating, because some people talk like certain groups are objectively unattractive somehow, and I genuinely don’t believe them that they are incapable of being attracted to so many types of people no matter who the individual is. Maybe in some cases they know that that group is not openly (we know that many men are attracted to types of women they are afraid to date publicly and confess this only to said women or engage in secret sexual relationships) sought after in their society, so they decide logically that those people are ugly, even though they could, because it’s simply never occurred to them to look at potential partners through their own eyes. We’re so convinced that the worth of a relationship hinges on the score of positive aspects of a person (weight, money, race, age, gender performance) that a lot of us don’t even know what we find beautiful, or who we might choose to pursue in a social vacuum. I definitely believe that this mindset is the main contributor to incel/red pill culture, since those men usually lack a few points on the checklist of desirability they see in their heads. Even though we often talk about women being sexually objectified and men being taught to believe that their pleasure comes first, I think most men think of themselves sexually as tools with a specific purpose to perform, and they extend that to their roles in romantic relationships. It’s really very sad. I want to clarify that I did not write any of this to shame anyone, and it is perfectly fine to be picky, motivated strongly by looks, or to enjoy fulfilling tradition roles in relationships. I do not think I’m better than anyone. Maybe think harder about who you call ugly though. I am also only in high school, so my perspective on all this could drastically change as I get older.
This was a really good comment. I've also seen people afraid to be ridiculed for their attraction to certain people. Like they'd be afraid that dating someone considered less valuable (=not conventionally attractive) will decrease their (social??) value as well. Kinda like how those older men show off their young girlfriends to appear more wanted, more valuable. Fear limits our choices, and avoiding that fear it's impossible to be completely honest with yourself and open to your own feelings of what could be attractive.
@@Presijenkki Thank you for the reply! I'm really happy it resonated
Such an insightful comment wow
@@qqqqqqqqqqqqqq7665 Thank you!
@@qqqqqqqqqqqqqq7665 Thank you!
Can I just say it? The guy's nice and for sure gotta be hella great to make a girl actually fall for him online (for such q long time), he showed effort and is clearly humorous and confidant to make these troll TikTok. This is attractive!!!!
Unhappy people cannot see happiness in others or in the world
I used to think id never fall for a guy who looked unnatractive but i did. There was a classmate of mine from last year , and id make fun of his looks since he had lots of acne, and a crooked smile. I eventually started to like him because he was funny, book smart , and confident in the way he spoke to everyone in the class. I stopped caring about how he looked and i got a crush on him lmaooo but i got rejected in trying to be his friend so i deserved that ...but i learned my lesson
I am glad you covered this. I never heard of this couple, but dang, these people are MEAN for no reason, and I am glad you are calling it out.
So I will say this… attraction in general matters. Now I’ve met some men who I would say are pretty physically attractive but due to their lack of substance, became less and less attractive to me. However, I gotta like whom I’m around to be in a relationship with them. I think this couple you highlighted is sweet. I’ve been open minded in my quest for love but I’ve had a lot of trouble dating because of the initial attraction piece for me.
Thank you- people are so shallow nowadays they take physical appearance as the only redeemable quality women look for in a partner. It's simply not true and catering to this shallow mindset is damaging. I'd rather a great personality in a person instead of simply good looks.
I really appreciate your point about niceness... Look at the other Scott for example: he was nice to a random call centre employee who lives across the world and this led to the other Scott finding a (hopefully) life partner. Talk about butterfly wings and hurricanes
You never fail to bring us the most nuanced takes and everytime you talk about a topic that I've already heard about you still always manage to help me look at it in a new light. One of my favourite RUclipsr personalities, I hope life treats you well!
Genuine kindness does something for real. It warms up your heart...and body.
This is very interesting! My mother has told me many times she just doesn't really care about physical appearance/attractiveness. She told me she was never that specifically attractive but always had boyfriends anyway because she was fun to be around, lol. My parents have genuinely one of the happiest relationships I've ever seen- in the beginning they didn't think it would work out because their personalities were so different but they complement each other perfectly! :)
He seems like a lovely fella. I hope they have a wonderful life together filled with happiness and love.