@@CharlesBukowski-m1oI hear my brother watching videos on his phone. And he spends 1 hour just laughing. I sense this is how he practices for normal every day situations. Even in normal conversations they just laugh at things. It makes absolutely no sense.
Almost all pathological narcissists I have come into contact with have that devilish laughter - a long drawn out laugh that comes across as the last gasps of someone taking his last breath mixed with weird cackling. Once you hear it you never forget it. Creepy
The first day I met my former Narc friend( he discarded me); I noticed his fake or forced laugh. Red flag that I noticed but ignored. You live and learn from experience.
my cousin has a fake laugh at me when i was sharing a painful discovery with her, i was heart broken and mad at her! sorry to her about that so called "friend" of yours. i guess we will have to find better friends 😢
When I was dating my (now ex) husband, he always made insulting little jokes about me, and then he would laugh at me and cover his mouth like a little boy. I finally told him that it bothered me, and I asked him to stop. And since we were very religious (he was working towards becoming a pastor), I reminded him of the verse that says, "Let all of your communication be for edification, that it may bless the hearers". But he could not stop. He said it was fun to make those little jokes and he believed he was so funny. So I let it go. I didn't want to be petty. After we got married he would say the same insulting things, but now he was not laughing. Now he was serious and disgusted with me when he said those things. I realize now that "funny" put-downs are first red flags, and I ignored it. How can he "treasure" me as a wife, when he is constantly finding fault, putting me down and making me the butt of his jokes? When I meet a person, and I see them joking at someone else's expense, even just a little bit, I am right away totally on my guard with them and I don't trust them.
Same, I notice when a person's humour is all about putting others down. I steer clear of those people. I have a friend who I've grey rocked because after getting back in touch with him, he started in with the put-down "humour." It had been about 10 years since I'd spoken to him and I'd had plenty of time to do some self help. I set my boundaries the first time he started picking at me. He tried to gaslight me with, "well, I do want to have a friendship but you make it difficult." I didn't fall for it. The man is in his 50s and he had a breakdown and now he doesn't know how to interact with others in a healthy way. I told him that he had a breakdown because he wasn't living an authentic life. Picking on people is not being authentic.
You are spot on. Joking at someone else's expense, shows that you cant trust such a person. They will always say "I was only joking", knowing full well they dont really like the other person. I am disgusted by such people. How can it ever be fun to joke at another person's misfortune or just to make fun of them just to make them feel bad ? Evil. Thank God for Heaven.....where these people dont exist.
Had an over 65 yrs couple that was always mocking and ridiculing and putting down and laughing derisively at those who wished to live in peace. Never heard 'normal' laughter coming from their miserable home or mouths. They had other such flying monkeys to pick at those who avoided them because of their ugly behaviours. The disgusting man, a retired, jealous, interfering postman - uttered long & loud prayers in the evenings that could be heard a mile off...and the rest of the time his foul mouth gossiped & murmured non-stop. His wife and two grown daughters were just like them.
@@sudhakhristmukti1930 When a narc disses you or mocks you, pat yourself on the back. You are on the right track. Don't let them sow seeds of doubt in your mind. Ignore these crazy people.
I've seen the same behavior with crying. They can just turn it on and off to emotionally manipulate. It doesn't seem heartfelt at all. I got upset with my narc Mother once, and I started crying. She instantly started crying louder than me. It was very bizarre 😳 and then I stopped in shock, and so did she ....she just turned it off. Freaked me out, that's why I still remember it. 🤔.....like she was just trying to mimic me, and in a creepy obvious way......then she treated me like a bad guy for "upsetting" her so much.
Oh yes, narc mother's face turned red once, but I think it was embarrassment due to the situation and not crying, because I saw no tears there. On and off on a dime - how more fake can a narc get?
Yes! And the interesting thing is if you ignore the crying that has been 'switched on' to merch a situation, if they see no positive reward for it they can switch it off immediately and carry on as normal. Manipulation of the highest order. Quite something to witness (unless you're used to it).
I had a short involvement with a romantic narcissist. Despite the many opportunities to share laughs the closest I ever came to hearing him laugh was a sneer with one corner of his mouth turned up. That was despite the fact that he claimed he was most proud of his sense of humor. i kid you not. He was an eerie persona that I was never comfortable with. I'm glad it ended quickly.
Even my cats yawn when I do. But she never did. And you're so right about that laugh. It was so fake. She was eerie and stalky and I'm glad I saw it before I got attached.
My mother has a crazy villain laugh. I moved out at 18. Can’t recall my sister ever laughing-she has cold stone eyes like a reptile. No contact for nearly 20 years.
Whenever I slipped up or did something wrong (which increasingly became always) rather than laugh at the silliness of the mistake I would invariably be on the receiving end of extreme and excessive rage. Even a coffee cup stain on a kitchen surface could invoke this response. If I found something funny and started to laugh I ran the risk of being accused of laughing at her and again would be closed down by her rage. Genuine shared humour was just not present in the relationship. Sharing a joke with others was also something which gradually disappeared from my life as my friends were 'picked off' one by one and I became isolated. It's only now that I'm out of the v.toxic relationship that I'm regaining the ability and confidence to laugh with others. The narcissistic behaviour of my ex rarely allowed for humour of any sort. A good old fashioned belly laugh involves a certain enjoyable loss of some control ,something the narcissist does not entertain from my experience. Many thanks again Danish.
Am facing the same situation with you. When I throw joke, my other friends would laugh because they know (and I do know too) it is funny. Except for one coworker I have. She rolls her eyes or gives me a evil stare. But everytime I ask about something I don't know (serious question without anything funny/joke/humour), she would laugh and I can say she laugh at me.
My ex around others is very loud and thier laughter sounds forced and exaggerated but they generally don't laugh and they laugh when it serves their agenda in a socal situation . I've come to hate the sound of thier laughter
My narc displayed many of the things you noted. But one thing that stood out to me early on is he discouraged me from laughing. He would get quiet and shut down a bit when I laughed and being codependent child of a alcoholic I was very sensitive to his response. I laughed less. Eventually I got bold enough to ask him why he acted cold when I laughed and he said it was embarrassing for him because I was so loud. I became self conscious of my own joy and eventually stopped for years.
"self conscious of my own joy..." 😢Me too. I was often told, "I don't know why you're laughing, it's not funny." But when he was insulting me and enjoying himself, he say, "Aww don't be so serious I'm only muckin around." So all of my responses were off in his eyes. I couldn't respond to life right. So glad that I'm out. Hope you are too.
I was also ignored if I laughed also that and otherways miserable by all he did and even his presence made me kinda lost my lauhgter too but starting to get it back.
This is so true Danish, my next door neighbour displays this false/forced laugh regularly ( even when no one else is present ), where most would not find anything to laugh about. Spot on ! 👍
There are a few people I have run into in the course of my life where I always felt like their laughter was a put on; you know, polite chuckles at the appropriate time. Now I know why.
When you mentioned, "Their laughter seems fake"; it struck me---yes. That's it. That's what it was. My father, the narcissist in my life had this sort of "designed" response.
I discovered that it was a directly proportional thing: The more amused he was by something bad that had happened to me, the more upset he would have been if it had happened to him. I could gauge how horribly he viewed a given event by how much he was laughing.
My wife of 3 mo. marriage is a narc. Just this evening her daughter broke her front tooth down to the dentin. She came in the bedroom saying, "do you have insurance?"And then she started laughing a long time rolling on the bed. I kept asking her what's wrong and she kept laughing. Then while laughing she said her daughter broke her tooth and continued laughing. I told her that's not funny. Her laughter was devilish...
A loud and clear "bye freak" tends to shut them up, and you can actually feel them seethe while they're pretending you've suddenly disappeared in front of their eyes. Its very bizarre behavior once you see it.
A few years ago, I walked away from the middle of a holiday FaceTime call with my sibling, as she was laughing hysterically and cruelly at a photo of my young nephew (who was also on the call) because his head was somewhat distorted (in the photo). After what seemed like 10 minutes of her uninterrupted demonic cackling, she stopped and asked where I was. My nephew said, "oh, she left." Once he hung up, I explained to him the reason for my "rudeness." He knew. This was just a courtesy call for the holiday, as our relationship was non-existent from earlier confrontations involving her relentless gaslighting and bullying. You brilliantly captured another insidious topic of narc abuse, Danish. With ur thoughtful guidance, more and more victims will find the strength to detach and leave these evil creatures behind.
Often negativistic and very unhappy may laugh at others failures. Superficial often the don't get others jokes and devalue others. They feel that any display of emotion makes them seem weak.
My father- in -law would laugh so loudly that he would disrupt the entire restaurant. My Ex had a very fake laugh and even our kids noticed it and asked me why Dad laughs like that?
Remember that autistic people also don't have the yawning reflex when others yawn. Austic people don't mean to come across as rude or nasty so it is wise to look a bit past the yawning thing.
yep, it's like they have a running laughter while they are talking. It's really weird. Once you hear it, it's really hard to listen to again and again.
This is so validating. He never laughed except in his first phase of "happy drunk". Otherwise it was a very forced "hah-hah-hah" at something that was not funny but usually inappropriate act. When he did this with our young children, I think it was bc he didn't know what a kind redirection is, and was stifling his rage reaction. Always cold dead eyes, too, during times that were to be enjoyed and connected as a family. It was very unsettling and creepy.
During our 50yrs (sad but true) I've realised I probably have never seen him yawn! He seldom laughs at home but does so with friends and yes it is false laughter. I know it is. It's only since I retired at 65yrs and coincidentally C19 happened that I've discovered he is narcissistic. As were both his parents. I'm beyond sad but they did teach me to be strong. 💞
Thank you 🙏for your excellent work. I totally resonated with your analysis of narc’s fake, demonic laughter. I really love your videos which I find very helpful. ❤
The most recent narcissist I dealt with would always laugh immediately after he would say something passive aggressive. It took me many months to figure out that the laugh was duper's delight when he saw my confusion over his statements. Now I know when that happens I'm being lied to by him.
The yawning fact is very interesting! They also have a very limited sense of smell. My nmom always burnt her braking in oven, then scream at me for not calling her, skelling the burn
Great observation.. did not know it was general phenomenon.. I thought only my narc did that. we would go for plays and the whole audience would be laughing, while my narc would sit there , in a condescending manner , judgemental , calling the jokes “ decadent” .. and you are so right about the throw of their laughter - it is very put on., disconnected , wicked and evil sounding ..
Oh my God! This video describes my experience for as long as I can remember. Even as a small child, I knew there was something wrong with the narcissist's emotional responses. Their laughter was always cruelly directed, and they were mean and juvenile in their so-called "teasing.". But, laughing at them was forbidden. It made me miserable.
What you said about yawning! I never really noticed, but since I got with my non-narcissist partner we laugh at each other for catching each other's yawns. And when you said that it made me think, and then I realised, I never had moments like that with my mother because she didn't mirror me, just like you said. She didn't 'catch' my yawns.
Again Danish crushes it; the sound strikes horror and fear in my inner child's heart. Wow I never knew the yawnism, that's amazing. Adult children raised in such an environment sometimes, subconsciously, end up with flat affect, because they grew up seeing the inauthenticity around them, and connecting it to the indignity they continually suffered. Then, unfortunately, their flat affect will be used against them as evidence of exactly what the covert's are hiding, exactly what the overt is known for, for being cold, when in fact, a person can have a flat affect from narcissistic abuse. Me, I learned me a poker face, and it drives people crazy; I'm often told I'm 'hard to read', that I don't smile, that I seem depressed, and I often catch people assuming things about my facial expressions that are dead wrong. Besides that, I have ADHD and often, I don't realize that I am sending a puzzled expression forth that seems out of place, because I am often deep in analysis of the multiple thoughts running through my head faster than I can process them, and I'm often struggling to comprehend things. For example, I find when people ask me a question, I answer by trying to reach the answer, by providing the context that helps orient me to my thinking process, it is just the way I think, and others often point out that I don't end up answering the question, because I get distracted along the way and forget that I'm making a point. But, hey, look everybody, a narcissist will proclaim and point, that's the face of a sociopath(because they are trying to deflect the reality, that they are that). I don't care to correct them; but it feels disheartening to see the case against me and all of the 'neurotypical behaviours' that I lack (due to abuse and neglect) being sold off as sociopathic, psychopathic, BPD, etc. You know that BPD person everyone knows at least one who is overdramatic, self deluded, impulsive and potentially dangerous? That's the brush I'm painted with, and sadly, the paintings of me in that light tend to sell very well on the flying monkey market. I actually wonder sometimes who is worse. The narcissist, or the flying monkeys. Because I can count the narcissists on the fingers of one hand, while there are so many flying monkeys, I have lost count, and I just assume everyone is a potential monkey with wings, because I often don't even know I'm looking at one, because a highly accomplished narcissist - to be highly accomplished entails training hundreds of winged primates of all shapes and sizes and genders - has trained up and given more primates wings that you would ever imagine! Leaves me feeling that most people can't see through it, which makes them all blind as dingbats in the cave of a narcissist shadows. (blows raspberries).
It took me years( little slow on the uptake on this one) to realize he really never laughed. Everyone else in the room would be in pain from laughing so hard and at best I might see a very brief forced huh kind of laugh. The rest of the time it was rare. Only goofing with the kids when they where little but like Danish says, anything that requires thought. Nope.
He used to laugh like it was all about a big inside joke in his head. Also the laugh was very cynical sounding almost villain-like, at the time I was so doomed by him but now that I think about it I get chills
Just read this. Yes!! If you laugh at them, it turns to rage. My ex. BF Narc used insults as his humor. His laugh was closed mouth “ heh heh heh” forced chuckle. I never saw his teeth or saw him bent over laughing. I still hear that fake chuckle!
Has he ever said, "Oh Wendy, you need to have a sense of humor" when he laughed inappropriately at a very delicate situation you were facing, but said, "Stop laughing" at a very trivial joke you made at his expense, which actually warranted a laugh?
This one totally described my former friend. Let's call her Molly. Her laughter sounded like isn't suffering hysterical in the spirit that a villain in a Disney movie would laugh. Everything about this video describes her from the only laughing it slapstick or immature or juvenile humor to forcing a laugh when they didn't really think something was funny because it wasn't about them or they weren't the one who was clever who made the observation. Even the lack of understanding of anything deep to where something ironic could happen and thus finding the humor in it because of that deep subject, she would often say something wasn't funny because she didn't get it because she just didn't have the capacity to understand. I swear. All of these videos are like pages right out of the book of her life
I am a narc survivor. After 5 years, I now met a new man. He always says he is happy with me, but he never smiles or laughs. He is also overly dramatic. Did I meet just another narcissist? My ex also never laughs.
Very interesting about the yawning. They look at the floor when laughing so you can't see that they are not smiling with their eyes. And yes definitely correct that their smile never fades out just vanishes in the bat of an eye. Very informative. Thank you. Your videos are most helpful and always spot on!
Ive seen this first hand , im trying to dumb down to protect myself not showing any vulnerability . But i know and you cant tell them what they are because itll trigger their rage . They also have a weird stare , their eyes turn dark its a stare to intimidate you . Trying to keep my distance when possible. They will claim they are broke then come home with things that aren't nessesary , give subtle hints they need help financially yet wont openly ask directly for what they need. Absolutely they cant laugh at themselves. They cant let go of relationships, experience severe depression, self loathing etc. just trying to protect myself . Ive always known but never tell them what they are they will be triggered. Many failed relationships due to their behavior issues and they know everything and anything. Its quite sad
That happened to me as well. It was a revelation to realize my own parents didn't love me. No one who loves someone else would laugh when their loved one was in pain. :( It's abnormal. But that's how narcissists are 24/7.
interesting information. just the other day, he laughed and i heard like someone else i never heard before. i think it is someone i never net before. everything you said is true about the yawning, and they do not laugh at themselves. yes they are misterable.
I found my narc rarely, if ever, laughed. It seemed to me they saw it as handing power to me for saying something amusing and getting a response from them.
My narcissistic ex would watch videos on his phone and force loud laughter right after he talked down to me or when he was giving me the silent treatment. These were the only times I heard him “laugh”
My Narc husband only giggled no laughing at all ., Smiled at TV when funny for me, never a real laugh. First husband narc too, laughed when I asked serious questions about how he felt about me.
DANISH... Gòod morning. Its 17 years since marriage.In the last 2 years I could realise whats happening. He told so much that he was struggling as he dont get payment from his job. But truth was revealed some how that the reason for his present situation is his own addictions in life.Hes draging us to a worst stage due his acts.. Ur each word is a truth ....I dont knw how to handile this guy.when we went 4 counselling his behaviour was so shocking. Hope i get a solution from any of your videos
This is so true. My mum couldn’t laugh and whenever she laughed it was very weird. She only ever laughed when she was watching TV shows or RUclips. This is really shocking.
14yrs with mine & new nothing about mental health (I’m 51) but this, from the beginning of the relationship I thought her laugh was weird or fake… everything you said here makes sense to me
I would make mine laugh once in awhile, and once I told him I loved making him laugh. Well that was end of any laughter. A couple times he took absolute pleasure in telling me I was not funny. So if you want to stop one of their behaviours, just tell them it makes you happy lol.
He laughed only if he humiliated a waiter or he would show an evil grin if he thought he had got one over on you or others. On my Birthday he said he would take me for a meal in front of family and friends walked out of Restaurant without paying when I went to the toilet. I ended up getting a hand on my shoulder and prevented from leaving Restaurant I didn't know what had happened and my parents and my self paid the bill. He then said it was a joke....because the Waiter disrespected him and he wanted the waiter to get fired....
Mine wouldn't give me the silence treatment, he would give me the smirk- threatment...look at me weird and smirk, as if i was doing something wrong and his eyes looked like he was hating me deeply and didnt like me at all. He would do that for days....when I would ask why he was laughing or smirking, he would say he didn't and call me crazy for thinking seeing him do that and if I wasn't carefull made him rage ..in the car, plain in front of his mother, my childeren he just didnt care....made me feel insecure and constantly figuring out what i was doing wrong he would also to that at social events humiliating me to my core ....it did make and still is making me crazy... i can never be as free the way is was before i met him 3 years ago and i will for ever ask myself if i was crazy, although I have lots evidence for myself iam not....
Thank you Danish, your videos do help me. I always said my ex wife was never able to have an emotional connection, even when she hugged the children it looked weird and forced. I found it ironic when I found your video on a narrcasists laugh because I always thought it sounded like a demonic cackle that was used to demean me. I feel anxiety just remembering that sound. I left 4 years ago and to this day she continues to torture me. Thank you for helping me figure things out Danish.
Yeah, i was dealing they're also sadistic and like to dog whistle like that to provoke someone indirectly. They're toxic personalities, so im grateful for my healing journey and the selfcompassion and healthy boundaries i have stayed true to to protect my authentic self over the 3 years in healing, after being raised by a narc parent and a codependent mother. Also their laughter is out of convenience in a way, if someones doing what they want too, or if a moment feels sort of natural and to favor them, but usually its out of control, that these moments happen. Thats why i prefer to stay true to me, and authentic to myself and love honor and protect my inner child, than cater to a narcisist, because i know what heals me is to stay true to me basically. Their entitled and sometimes humor is cruel, and inapropiate. Ive had to stop a couple of them, or atleast one of them from commenting on my weight for instance, or reminded them or pointed out in a way and ask them if they dont have anything else to talk about, or pointed out how it seems to be an obsession of theirs and this is a pointer of how superficial they can be, or missing the emotional inteligence!. Wanting to joke at the expense of someone. Thankfully as my loving parent i listen to when my inner child gives me the nudges when i hear these redflags and i as a commitment try to love honor and protect him and speak up when these things happens, sometimes they're low blows , but its their toxic shit , and they definetly shouldn't be putting it on other people , so its good to have communication , and healthy boundaries and integrity to our inner children to not tolerate but speak up against those instances , that cross lines, and that isnt ours but their shit. God speed! we keep healing
Laughing when discussing unpleasant things, copying laughter when others laugh in a phoney way. Even laughing talking about someone going through something painful or an ordeal. And the laugh is often a cackle. Tick. Truly awful personalities.
Oh my gosh Annie! You said it - cackle - I remember my blood boiling when narc mother would do that when I was a teenager. It would make my skin crawl.
Yes Sir, that is true his laugh is fake and every word that you mention is him, i always notice that yes he is emotional dead and he alway say that he do,nt have any emotion then he chuck, off a dry fake short pretend laugh, Thanks too God Almighty he move out of the house when i told him that i knew and find out who he really is,
Post narcissist relationship, I was waiting for this! Yes, it's so weird. I can't even remember what his laugh would sound like, even when in his company. what did his smile look like. He didn't laugh or smile. I am a person who laughs at everything , he never laughed / yawned in empathy/ smiled. He drank a lot, I still can't remember his laugh. Once he said he knew someone who laughed all the time and it got on his nerves. Making sure I was under his control by not laughing. Urgh. Creepy. One time during massive devaluation you know when they've pushed you too far and when he said " look at me look at my eyes " and said " I love you " obviously I didn't believe it but the point here is how cold his eyes were. It still haunts me, those cold eyes.
My soon to be ex has the most demonic laugh. I’ve caught him time and time again laughing demonically at things a normal person would not laugh at. Recently I caught him laughing demonically at a thought he was having about a conversation we had a few days before. Dude is sick and demented. Can’t wait til I completely depart from him.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. My laughing pissed him Off 🤣🤣🤣🤣. He SO wished he WAS ME, but, hey, ALL Narcissistic PHYSCO'S ENVY what they WANT, but CAN'T Have......A GREAT personality 🤣🤣🤣🤣. My EX Mother was EXACTLY the SAME 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes my husband was on the phone and he was laughing I don't know who he is talking with but I had never heard that laugh before and I have been with him almost 60 years
Yes, fake to the core, normal people smile with their faces, narcissists smile with their mouth, they need cues to laugh (canned laughter in sitcoms) and don't deserve our company.
My ex-narc had a deep, very obvious fake laugh. It sounded almost malevolent. This creepy, vile, stomach churning "laugh" would always follow one of his insults, or "jokes" as he liked to refer to them, especially is these insults caused others pain and/or humiliation. If his victims tolerated his abuse, they would only be subjected to the fake laugh. But if someone stood up to his bullshit, the creepy laugh would quickly transition to rage.
The Narc laughter is off, unnatural, at inappropriate times and mimicked.
"OhooOH, I was just kidding, where is your sense of humor at?!"- their typical FAKE response
@@CharlesBukowski-m1o
They don't have a sense of humour. They genuinely don't know what's funny.
@@CharlesBukowski-m1oI hear my brother watching videos on his phone. And he spends 1 hour just laughing. I sense this is how he practices for normal every day situations.
Even in normal conversations they just laugh at things.
It makes absolutely no sense.
A narc's laughter is always devilish-sounding, irrespective of the situation.
Yep
Absolutely spot-on!
TRUTH!!!
I knew a narcissist for years. Hers was a false cacle, like that of a witch, never a warm sharing belly laugh.
They seem to be possessed by demons.
I have seen a narcissist cry with tears and when they get what they want stop crying immediately
They encourage others to laugh at people's misfortune
Almost all pathological narcissists I have come into contact with have that devilish laughter - a long drawn out laugh that comes across as the last gasps of someone taking his last breath mixed with weird cackling. Once you hear it you never forget it. Creepy
my cousin does that! very disturbing!
I've heard it ugh creepy
The first day I met my former Narc friend( he discarded me); I noticed his fake or forced laugh. Red flag that I noticed but ignored. You live and learn from experience.
my cousin has a fake laugh at me when i was sharing a painful discovery with her, i was heart broken and mad at her! sorry to her about that so called "friend" of yours. i guess we will have to find better friends 😢
When I was dating my (now ex) husband, he always made insulting little jokes about me, and then he would laugh at me and cover his mouth like a little boy. I finally told him that it bothered me, and I asked him to stop. And since we were very religious (he was working towards becoming a pastor), I reminded him of the verse that says, "Let all of your communication be for edification, that it may bless the hearers". But he could not stop. He said it was fun to make those little jokes and he believed he was so funny. So I let it go. I didn't want to be petty. After we got married he would say the same insulting things, but now he was not laughing. Now he was serious and disgusted with me when he said those things. I realize now that "funny" put-downs are first red flags, and I ignored it. How can he "treasure" me as a wife, when he is constantly finding fault, putting me down and making me the butt of his jokes? When I meet a person, and I see them joking at someone else's expense, even just a little bit, I am right away totally on my guard with them and I don't trust them.
Same, I notice when a person's humour is all about putting others down. I steer clear of those people. I have a friend who I've grey rocked because after getting back in touch with him, he started in with the put-down "humour." It had been about 10 years since I'd spoken to him and I'd had plenty of time to do some self help. I set my boundaries the first time he started picking at me. He tried to gaslight me with, "well, I do want to have a friendship but you make it difficult." I didn't fall for it. The man is in his 50s and he had a breakdown and now he doesn't know how to interact with others in a healthy way. I told him that he had a breakdown because he wasn't living an authentic life. Picking on people is not being authentic.
You are spot on. Joking at someone else's expense, shows that you cant trust such a person. They will always say "I was only joking", knowing full well they dont really like the other person. I am disgusted by such people.
How can it ever be fun to joke at another person's misfortune or just to make fun of them just to make them feel bad ? Evil. Thank God for Heaven.....where these people dont exist.
Had an over 65 yrs couple that was always mocking and ridiculing and putting down and laughing derisively at those who wished to live in peace. Never heard 'normal' laughter coming from their miserable home or mouths. They had other such flying monkeys to pick at those who avoided them because of their ugly behaviours.
The disgusting man, a retired, jealous, interfering postman - uttered long & loud prayers in the evenings that could be heard a mile off...and the rest of the time his foul mouth gossiped & murmured non-stop. His wife and two grown daughters were just like them.
@@sudhakhristmukti1930 When a narc disses you or mocks you, pat yourself on the back. You are on the right track. Don't let them sow seeds of doubt in your mind. Ignore these crazy people.
Same here, I was also belittled in very personal cruel ways. In hindsight (which is a wonderful thing) I should of walked way earlier than I did.
I've seen the same behavior with crying. They can just turn it on and off to emotionally manipulate. It doesn't seem heartfelt at all. I got upset with my narc Mother once, and I started crying. She instantly started crying louder than me. It was very bizarre 😳 and then I stopped in shock, and so did she ....she just turned it off. Freaked me out, that's why I still remember it. 🤔.....like she was just trying to mimic me, and in a creepy obvious way......then she treated me like a bad guy for "upsetting" her so much.
Oh yes, narc mother's face turned red once, but I think it was embarrassment due to the situation and not crying, because I saw no tears there. On and off on a dime - how more fake can a narc get?
@@simonpegg1196 so freaky, I didn't see any tears either.
Yes! And the interesting thing is if you ignore the crying that has been 'switched on' to merch a situation, if they see no positive reward for it they can switch it off immediately and carry on as normal. Manipulation of the highest order. Quite something to witness (unless you're used to it).
That's really disconcerting. I'm sorry that you had to grow up with that. Ugh. You could never feel psychologically safe with that kind of person.
@@anniewhitmore7627 Yes, a spectacle - akin to watching a stage show performance!
I had a short involvement with a romantic narcissist. Despite the many opportunities to share laughs the closest I ever came to hearing him laugh was a sneer with one corner of his mouth turned up. That was despite the fact that he claimed he was most proud of his sense of humor. i kid you not. He was an eerie persona that I was never comfortable with. I'm glad it ended quickly.
Narcissist dont laugh with you, they laugh at you !
Even my cats yawn when I do. But she never did. And you're so right about that laugh. It was so fake. She was eerie and stalky and I'm glad I saw it before I got attached.
My mother has a crazy villain laugh. I moved out at 18. Can’t recall my sister ever laughing-she has cold stone eyes like a reptile. No contact for nearly 20 years.
I wish I'd stayed no contact 😕
I'm sorry you experienced that, peace and love to you
I always used to say he sounded like a evil maniac when he laughed!
They laugh if their children get hurt, and then say: shame.
They find satisfaction in others pain
Whenever I slipped up or did something wrong (which increasingly became always) rather than laugh at the silliness of the mistake I would invariably be on the receiving end of extreme and excessive rage. Even a coffee cup stain on a kitchen surface could invoke this response. If I found something funny and started to laugh I ran the risk of being accused of laughing at her and again would be closed down by her rage. Genuine shared humour was just not present in the relationship.
Sharing a joke with others was also something which gradually disappeared from my life as my friends were 'picked off' one by one and I became isolated. It's only now that I'm out of the v.toxic relationship that I'm regaining the ability and confidence to laugh with others. The narcissistic behaviour of my ex rarely allowed for humour of any sort.
A good old fashioned belly laugh involves a certain enjoyable loss of some control ,something the narcissist does not entertain from my experience.
Many thanks again Danish.
oh yes! any small mistake or accident is met with anger, even petty things like not crossing the road at the same time.
Am facing the same situation with you. When I throw joke, my other friends would laugh because they know (and I do know too) it is funny. Except for one coworker I have. She rolls her eyes or gives me a evil stare. But everytime I ask about something I don't know (serious question without anything funny/joke/humour), she would laugh and I can say she laugh at me.
@@idahamidah2211 you have good friends so never stop laughing with them. Don't let the one bad apple spoil that for you. Keep strong, H
Spot on, no shared laughter, false laugh at low brow material, huge laughter when i fell from half way up the stairs and laid in a pile at the bottom!
Narc never laughed. Had a maniacal smile when hurting me or others. Be Safe. Be Well.
My ex around others is very loud and thier laughter sounds forced and exaggerated but they generally don't laugh and they laugh when it serves their agenda in a socal situation . I've come to hate the sound of thier laughter
My narc displayed many of the things you noted. But one thing that stood out to me early on is he discouraged me from laughing. He would get quiet and shut down a bit when I laughed and being codependent child of a alcoholic I was very sensitive to his response. I laughed less. Eventually I got bold enough to ask him why he acted cold when I laughed and he said it was embarrassing for him because I was so loud. I became self conscious of my own joy and eventually stopped for years.
"self conscious of my own joy..." 😢Me too. I was often told, "I don't know why you're laughing, it's not funny." But when he was insulting me and enjoying himself, he say, "Aww don't be so serious I'm only muckin around." So all of my responses were off in his eyes. I couldn't respond to life right. So glad that I'm out. Hope you are too.
I was also ignored if I laughed also that and otherways miserable by all he did and even his presence made me kinda lost my lauhgter too but starting to get it back.
This is so true Danish, my next door neighbour displays this false/forced laugh regularly ( even when no one else is present ), where most would not find anything to laugh about. Spot on ! 👍
Isn't that a clear indication of mental sickness? Narcs are mentally ill.
This is so truee is like they practice it or something
@@sconstanza I never thought of that before, but maybe that is what they do.
@@raven4090 I swear.. my ex would do these exagérate and fake laughs watching a video or idk something funny and it was so weird... like fake af 😂😂
There are a few people I have run into in the course of my life where I always felt like their laughter was a put on; you know, polite chuckles at the appropriate time. Now I know why.
Exaggerating loud and it’s so annoying 🙉🙈
Yes..the smile was always sarcastic and more of a smirk!
When you mentioned, "Their laughter seems fake"; it struck me---yes. That's it. That's what it was. My father, the narcissist in my life had this sort of "designed" response.
I discovered that it was a directly proportional thing: The more amused he was by something bad that had happened to me, the more upset he would have been if it had happened to him. I could gauge how horribly he viewed a given event by how much he was laughing.
Very good insight ! I can confirm from my own experiences as well.
My wife of 3 mo. marriage is a narc. Just this evening her daughter broke her front tooth down to the dentin. She came in the bedroom saying, "do you have insurance?"And then she started laughing a long time rolling on the bed. I kept asking her what's wrong and she kept laughing. Then while laughing she said her daughter broke her tooth and continued laughing. I told her that's not funny. Her laughter was devilish...
A loud and clear "bye freak" tends to shut them up, and you can actually feel them seethe while they're pretending you've suddenly disappeared in front of their eyes. Its very bizarre behavior once you see it.
I always said my wife never laughed like normal people do. So interesting to see this in a video!
A few years ago, I walked away from the middle of a holiday FaceTime call with my sibling, as she was laughing hysterically and cruelly at a photo of my young nephew (who was also on the call) because his head was somewhat distorted (in the photo). After what seemed like 10 minutes of her uninterrupted demonic cackling, she stopped and asked where I was. My nephew said, "oh, she left." Once he hung up, I explained to him the reason for my "rudeness." He knew. This was just a courtesy call for the holiday, as our relationship was non-existent from earlier confrontations involving her relentless gaslighting and bullying. You brilliantly captured another insidious topic of narc abuse, Danish. With ur thoughtful guidance, more and more victims will find the strength to detach and leave these evil creatures behind.
Often negativistic and very unhappy may laugh at others failures. Superficial often the don't get others jokes and devalue others. They feel that any display of emotion makes them seem weak.
My father- in -law would laugh so loudly that he would disrupt the entire restaurant. My Ex had a very fake laugh and even our kids noticed it and asked me why Dad laughs like that?
So true after ten years the only times I heard him laugh, really laugh, was when I got hurt physically.
Thank you for the tip about yawing. Now I can save a lot more time sorting them out. :)
Remember that autistic people also don't have the yawning reflex when others yawn. Austic people don't mean to come across as rude or nasty so it is wise to look a bit past the yawning thing.
@@rtphotos4691
True I wouldn't use this as a sole key indicator of narcissism
I know a narc who fake laughs all the time after everything they say it's incredibly annoying
yep, it's like they have a running laughter while they are talking. It's really weird. Once you hear it, it's really hard to listen to again and again.
This is so validating. He never laughed except in his first phase of "happy drunk". Otherwise it was a very forced "hah-hah-hah" at something that was not funny but usually inappropriate act. When he did this with our young children, I think it was bc he didn't know what a kind redirection is, and was stifling his rage reaction. Always cold dead eyes, too, during times that were to be enjoyed and connected as a family. It was very unsettling and creepy.
So true. Plus she always laughs loud and a while at her jokes before to share it in such a weird and egocentric way that leaves anyone cold.
During our 50yrs (sad but true) I've realised I probably have never seen him yawn! He seldom laughs at home but does so with friends and yes it is false laughter. I know it is. It's only since I retired at 65yrs and coincidentally C19 happened that I've discovered he is narcissistic. As were both his parents. I'm beyond sad but they did teach me to be strong. 💞
Thank you 🙏for your excellent work. I totally resonated with your analysis of narc’s fake, demonic laughter. I really love your videos which I find very helpful. ❤
The most recent narcissist I dealt with would always laugh immediately after he would say something passive aggressive. It took me many months to figure out that the laugh was duper's delight when he saw my confusion over his statements. Now I know when that happens I'm being lied to by him.
She laughed at me when I started crying and blamed it on nervousness, but she was calm the entire time.
The yawning fact is very interesting! They also have a very limited sense of smell. My nmom always burnt her braking in oven, then scream at me for not calling her, skelling the burn
Absolutely true in my case. He rarely if EVER laughs and it truly is fake.
In general …noticing what people laugh at can be very informative.
His laugh used to make my skin crawl at times. I didn't understand why. It was my intuition, picking up on his fakeness and immaturity.
Great observation.. did not know it was general phenomenon.. I thought only my narc did that.
we would go for plays and the whole audience would be laughing, while my narc would sit there , in a condescending manner , judgemental , calling the jokes “ decadent” .. and you are so right about the throw of their laughter - it is very put on., disconnected , wicked and evil sounding ..
I don’t even know what my mothers laughter sounds like. Never heard her laugh! Tragic
Those kinds of people need to meet my friends. The dead will start laughing. We're crazy, and even that is an understatement!
Oh my God! This video describes my experience for as long as I can remember. Even as a small child, I knew there was something wrong with the narcissist's emotional responses. Their laughter was always cruelly directed, and they were mean and juvenile in their so-called "teasing.". But, laughing at them was forbidden. It made me miserable.
What you said about yawning! I never really noticed, but since I got with my non-narcissist partner we laugh at each other for catching each other's yawns. And when you said that it made me think, and then I realised, I never had moments like that with my mother because she didn't mirror me, just like you said. She didn't 'catch' my yawns.
thats sad, it really hurts when it your mom! i feel your pain
Again Danish crushes it; the sound strikes horror and fear in my inner child's heart. Wow I never knew the yawnism, that's amazing. Adult children raised in such an environment sometimes, subconsciously, end up with flat affect, because they grew up seeing the inauthenticity around them, and connecting it to the indignity they continually suffered. Then, unfortunately, their flat affect will be used against them as evidence of exactly what the covert's are hiding, exactly what the overt is known for, for being cold, when in fact, a person can have a flat affect from narcissistic abuse. Me, I learned me a poker face, and it drives people crazy; I'm often told I'm 'hard to read', that I don't smile, that I seem depressed, and I often catch people assuming things about my facial expressions that are dead wrong. Besides that, I have ADHD and often, I don't realize that I am sending a puzzled expression forth that seems out of place, because I am often deep in analysis of the multiple thoughts running through my head faster than I can process them, and I'm often struggling to comprehend things. For example, I find when people ask me a question, I answer by trying to reach the answer, by providing the context that helps orient me to my thinking process, it is just the way I think, and others often point out that I don't end up answering the question, because I get distracted along the way and forget that I'm making a point. But, hey, look everybody, a narcissist will proclaim and point, that's the face of a sociopath(because they are trying to deflect the reality, that they are that). I don't care to correct them; but it feels disheartening to see the case against me and all of the 'neurotypical behaviours' that I lack (due to abuse and neglect) being sold off as sociopathic, psychopathic, BPD, etc.
You know that BPD person everyone knows at least one who is overdramatic, self deluded, impulsive and potentially dangerous? That's the brush I'm painted with, and sadly, the paintings of me in that light tend to sell very well on the flying monkey market. I actually wonder sometimes who is worse. The narcissist, or the flying monkeys. Because I can count the narcissists on the fingers of one hand, while there are so many flying monkeys, I have lost count, and I just assume everyone is a potential monkey with wings, because I often don't even know I'm looking at one, because a highly accomplished narcissist - to be highly accomplished entails training hundreds of winged primates of all shapes and sizes and genders - has trained up and given more primates wings that you would ever imagine! Leaves me feeling that most people can't see through it, which makes them all blind as dingbats in the cave of a narcissist shadows. (blows raspberries).
I didn’t ever meet one that ever laughed much at all.
It took me years( little slow on the uptake on this one) to realize he really never laughed. Everyone else in the room would be in pain from laughing so hard and at best I might see a very brief forced huh kind of laugh. The rest of the time it was rare. Only goofing with the kids when they where little but like Danish says, anything that requires thought. Nope.
He used to laugh like it was all about a big inside joke in his head. Also the laugh was very cynical sounding almost villain-like, at the time I was so doomed by him but now that I think about it I get chills
Very true, my narcissistic ex looked cross eyed when she forcfully laughed once
Just read this. Yes!! If you laugh at them, it turns to rage. My ex. BF Narc used insults as his humor. His laugh was closed mouth “ heh heh heh” forced chuckle. I never saw his teeth or saw him bent over laughing. I still hear that fake chuckle!
my ex-husband laughed at me when i was crying, but did not like when i laughed at him when his mistress left him.
Has he ever said, "Oh Wendy, you need to have a sense of humor" when he laughed inappropriately at a very delicate situation you were facing, but said, "Stop laughing" at a very trivial joke you made at his expense, which actually warranted a laugh?
This one totally described my former friend. Let's call her Molly. Her laughter sounded like isn't suffering hysterical in the spirit that a villain in a Disney movie would laugh. Everything about this video describes her from the only laughing it slapstick or immature or juvenile humor to forcing a laugh when they didn't really think something was funny because it wasn't about them or they weren't the one who was clever who made the observation. Even the lack of understanding of anything deep to where something ironic could happen and thus finding the humor in it because of that deep subject, she would often say something wasn't funny because she didn't get it because she just didn't have the capacity to understand. I swear. All of these videos are like pages right out of the book of her life
I am a narc survivor. After 5 years, I now met a new man. He always says he is happy with me, but he never smiles or laughs. He is also overly dramatic. Did I meet just another narcissist? My ex also never laughs.
Very interesting about the yawning.
They look at the floor when laughing so you can't see that they are not smiling with their eyes. And yes definitely correct that their smile never fades out just vanishes in the bat of an eye. Very informative. Thank you. Your videos are most helpful and always spot on!
Ive seen this first hand , im trying to dumb down to protect myself not showing any vulnerability . But i know and you cant tell them what they are because itll trigger their rage . They also have a weird stare , their eyes turn dark its a stare to intimidate you . Trying to keep my distance when possible.
They will claim they are broke then come home with things that aren't nessesary , give subtle hints they need help financially yet wont openly ask directly for what they need. Absolutely they cant laugh at themselves.
They cant let go of relationships, experience severe depression, self loathing etc. just trying to protect myself . Ive always known but never tell them what they are they will be triggered. Many failed relationships due to their behavior issues and they know everything and anything. Its quite sad
He laughed when I am in immense emotional pain.
That happened to me as well. It was a revelation to realize my own parents didn't love me. No one who loves someone else would laugh when their loved one was in pain. :( It's abnormal. But that's how narcissists are 24/7.
I hated his laughter especially when he is intoxicated sound very evil 👿 with a smirk
interesting information. just the other day, he laughed and i heard like someone else i never heard before. i think it is someone i never net before.
everything you said is true about the yawning, and they do not laugh at themselves. yes they are misterable.
I found my narc rarely, if ever, laughed. It seemed to me they saw it as handing power to me for saying something amusing and getting a response from them.
My narcissistic ex would watch videos on his phone and force loud laughter right after he talked down to me or when he was giving me the silent treatment. These were the only times I heard him “laugh”
i know; that's a way to catch your attention when you dont give them enough
My Narc husband only giggled no laughing at all ., Smiled at TV when funny for me, never a real laugh. First husband narc too, laughed when I asked serious questions about how he felt about me.
DANISH...
Gòod morning.
Its 17 years since marriage.In the last 2 years I could realise whats happening. He told so much that he was struggling as he dont get payment from his job. But truth was revealed some how that the reason for his present situation is his own addictions in life.Hes draging us to a worst stage due his acts..
Ur each word is a truth ....I dont knw how to handile this guy.when we went 4 counselling his behaviour was so shocking.
Hope i get a solution from any of your videos
I use to laugh when I was nervous. I don't know if I still do, but I got criticised for it.
This is so true. My mum couldn’t laugh and whenever she laughed it was very weird. She only ever laughed when she was watching TV shows or RUclips. This is really shocking.
Everything you say is absolutely spot on
14yrs with mine & new nothing about mental health (I’m 51) but this, from the beginning of the relationship I thought her laugh was weird or fake… everything you said here makes sense to me
I would make mine laugh once in awhile, and once I told him I loved making him laugh. Well that was end of any laughter. A couple times he took absolute pleasure in telling me I was not funny. So if you want to stop one of their behaviours, just tell them it makes you happy lol.
He laughed only if he humiliated a waiter or he would show an evil grin if he thought he had got one over on you or others. On my Birthday he said he would take me for a meal in front of family and friends walked out of Restaurant without paying when I went to the toilet. I ended up getting a hand on my shoulder and prevented from leaving Restaurant I didn't know what had happened and my parents and my self paid the bill. He then said it was a joke....because the Waiter disrespected him and he wanted the waiter to get fired....
What an @**hole. I hope he is long-gone from your life!
Mine wouldn't give me the silence treatment, he would give me the smirk- threatment...look at me weird and smirk, as if i was doing something wrong and his eyes looked like he was hating me deeply and didnt like me at all. He would do that for days....when I would ask why he was laughing or smirking, he would say he didn't and call me crazy for thinking seeing him do that and if I wasn't carefull made him rage ..in the car, plain in front of his mother, my childeren he just didnt care....made me feel insecure and constantly figuring out what i was doing wrong he would also to that at social events humiliating me to my core ....it did make and still is making me crazy... i can never be as free the way is was before i met him 3 years ago and i will for ever ask myself if i was crazy, although I have lots evidence for myself iam not....
Right on target🎯💯, Fake and Shallow!
He laughed at me every time he made me cry.
Thank you Danish, your videos do help me. I always said my ex wife was never able to have an emotional connection, even when she hugged the children it looked weird and forced. I found it ironic when I found your video on a narrcasists laugh because I always thought it sounded like a demonic cackle that was used to demean me. I feel anxiety just remembering that sound. I left 4 years ago and to this day she continues to torture me. Thank you for helping me figure things out Danish.
Very true I experienced that
Yeah, i was dealing they're also sadistic and like to dog whistle like that to provoke someone indirectly. They're toxic personalities, so im grateful for my healing journey and the selfcompassion and healthy boundaries i have stayed true to to protect my authentic self over the 3 years in healing, after being raised by a narc parent and a codependent mother. Also their laughter is out of convenience in a way, if someones doing what they want too, or if a moment feels sort of natural and to favor them, but usually its out of control, that these moments happen. Thats why i prefer to stay true to me, and authentic to myself and love honor and protect my inner child, than cater to a narcisist, because i know what heals me is to stay true to me basically. Their entitled and sometimes humor is cruel, and inapropiate. Ive had to stop a couple of them, or atleast one of them from commenting on my weight for instance, or reminded them or pointed out in a way and ask them if they dont have anything else to talk about, or pointed out how it seems to be an obsession of theirs and this is a pointer of how superficial they can be, or missing the emotional inteligence!. Wanting to joke at the expense of someone. Thankfully as my loving parent i listen to when my inner child gives me the nudges when i hear these redflags and i as a commitment try to love honor and protect him and speak up when these things happens, sometimes they're low blows , but its their toxic shit , and they definetly shouldn't be putting it on other people , so its good to have communication , and healthy boundaries and integrity to our inner children to not tolerate but speak up against those instances , that cross lines, and that isnt ours but their shit. God speed! we keep healing
How true!
I yawned as soon as you said that
You have a lot of great things to say, thank you for slowing your speech a bit! Very thoughtful of you.
He would always tell jokes, and fake laugh way too much at them.
Laughing when discussing unpleasant things, copying laughter when others laugh in a phoney way. Even laughing talking about someone going through something painful or an ordeal. And the laugh is often a cackle. Tick. Truly awful personalities.
Oh my gosh Annie! You said it - cackle - I remember my blood boiling when narc mother would do that when I was a teenager. It would make my skin crawl.
@@simonpegg1196 I know, it's horrible and you realise just how horrible even more when you're in the company of someone else's 'normal' mother?
@@anniewhitmore7627 Absolutely! I would feel so at ease in the company of friends' 'normal' mothers, as a child.
@@simonpegg1196 Me too and the smallest of compliments from other normal mothers meant so much bc I never experienced it from my own
Had two of my closest ‘friends’ only laugh heartily when I’d say stuff like I think I’m gonna fail this test.
Yes Sir, that is true his laugh is fake and every word that you mention is him, i always notice that yes he is emotional dead and he alway say that he do,nt have any emotion then he chuck, off a dry fake short pretend laugh, Thanks too God Almighty he move out of the house when i told him that i knew and find out who he really is,
Post narcissist relationship, I was waiting for this! Yes, it's so weird. I can't even remember what his laugh would sound like, even when in his company. what did his smile look like. He didn't laugh or smile. I am a person who laughs at everything , he never laughed / yawned in empathy/ smiled. He drank a lot, I still can't remember his laugh. Once he said he knew someone who laughed all the time and it got on his nerves. Making sure I was under his control by not laughing. Urgh. Creepy. One time during massive devaluation you know when they've pushed you too far and when he said " look at me look at my eyes " and said " I love you " obviously I didn't believe it but the point here is how cold his eyes were. It still haunts me, those cold eyes.
Spanish you're a great guy you're trying to help people and you are succeeding thank you
My soon to be ex has the most demonic laugh. I’ve caught him time and time again laughing demonically at things a normal person would not laugh at. Recently I caught him laughing demonically at a thought he was having about a conversation we had a few days before. Dude is sick and demented. Can’t wait til I completely depart from him.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. My laughing pissed him Off 🤣🤣🤣🤣. He SO wished he WAS ME, but, hey, ALL Narcissistic PHYSCO'S ENVY what they WANT, but CAN'T Have......A GREAT personality 🤣🤣🤣🤣. My EX Mother was EXACTLY the SAME 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Excellent. I have witnessed a every thing you have said.
I once fell off from my brother's running motorbike. When i told this to my mom my brothers wife heard it and started laughing maniacally.
Bizzare isn’t it - getting off on someone’s misfortune
They do so when they feel jealous
Yes my husband was on the phone and he was laughing I don't know who he is talking with but I had never heard that laugh before and I have been with him almost 60 years
Yes, fake to the core, normal people smile with their faces, narcissists smile with their mouth, they need cues to laugh (canned laughter in sitcoms) and don't deserve our company.
Wow! Spot on!! Thank you so much for sharing! Love your channel!
Their laughter sounds evil devilish
And they laugh when they are drunk or high😡
My ex-narc had a deep, very obvious fake laugh. It sounded almost malevolent. This creepy, vile, stomach churning "laugh" would always follow one of his insults, or "jokes" as he liked to refer to them, especially is these insults caused others pain and/or humiliation. If his victims tolerated his abuse, they would only be subjected to the fake laugh. But if someone stood up to his bullshit, the creepy laugh would quickly transition to rage.