The Long-Term Impact of an Affair on the Betrayed | Live Broadcast
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- Опубликовано: 3 июл 2024
- Call/Text For Help Now 678-200-8996. Are You In Crisis? Are You Considering Divorce? Have You Experienced An Affair? We Are Here To Help! Couples Academy is a relationship-based private practice that focuses Affair Recovery and Divorce Prevention.
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00:00 Introduction
04:34 Loss and Grief
06:02 Damage to Self Worth/Esteem
07:16 Loss of Emotional Security
09:45 The Emotional Roller Coaster
12:20 Fear of the Unknown
13:04 Not Being Able to Focus/Function
15:00 Feeling of Hopelessness
15:52 Physical Effects
16:15 How to Get Through
18:38 There Does Not Have to be Any Residue From the Past
21:01 Outro
I feel like I am too mature to become all depressed about any cheating man. Media and societal pressures contribute to a sense of disharmony. Beautifully spoken. Your right!
I’m sorry, Hassani but this doesn’t even scratch the surface of how destroyed I am by my husband of 30 years’ affair. I have yet to find one counselor one video, one book, one class that can help me with the pain or even come close to understanding what his lying & cheating did to me. I don’t think men can understand how to counsel a woman who has been where I am. I’ve read several books, looked at over 400 videos, gone to marriage classes & one on one counseling & no one wants to talk about the gut wrenching, roller coaster, fragmented feelings I’m dealing with. It’s been almost a year since I discovered his infidelity & even though he goes through the motions of recovery work, he finds every way possible to avoid my feelings. It’s always about him. I’m not healing if I’m not being heard. This is killing me.
I hear you! I'm so sorry.
You need to consider counseling with me.
You need to find someone you can talk to who can help you deal with what he did and how that makes you feel. Ideally, your husband should be the one who listens to you and helps you by reassuring you, being honest with you, and loving you.
Lea Wade
This helped me.
ruclips.net/video/vkeZIwlsj_0/видео.html
I absolutely understand. I was exactly where you are/were. I left. I could not live with him until I got through that hurt. as long as you have that ache within, you won’t be able to get to the next step. I left, got an apartment, and put my ass in therapy. Being with him became secondary. I put me first. We would discuss him in therapy, but the focus was 95% about me. Me not being able to move on was due to things that occurred in my childhood. His cheating was just the icing on a toxic cake that was my life. We have a child together so we spoke, but it was always about our child. I would not allow him to pressure me into anything outside of that. I was in therapy for a year before I considered working it out with him. We were able to work through, but it took a lot of work and therapy..... or you will have to consider the reality that you are the type that can’t press forward. The betrayal is too much, hence why nothing you are hearing is resonating. Either way, you will need to allow yourself time and space. Right now you are in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight. Work on you. Go out with friends, take a trip solo, listen to music, pray/meditate, go back to school, and continue to read books that help you specifically and not your relationship together. The focus is building your strength back up. I hope you are well today.
Dealing with the depression and melancholy right now... Had a major effect on my work performance the first couple months, so much so I was worried I would be fired. Some days it feels like there's no point to anything. It's terrible. Getting a bit better with time, but I can't see this ever going completely away.
Are you getting help?
Wish I heard you back in 2016.. 2017. You spoke the truth of what we were going through unfortunately now divorced after determining yes in January of 2017 was not going to do the hurt anymore.
We both responded so much in haste and surprise of what the other would do. He never wanted counseling as most men never do.
Preach it brother.
Stop living by flesh and live by the spirit.
your teachings have been helping me a lot, but what does it help when you are always the one who is doing the forgiving and providing, sustaining of peace, understanding? With my husband, it's his way or no way and what's very depressing is that he gets himself into situations and leaves me to clean the mess.I've come to conclude and resolve that he never really cares or cared, this marriage was just a convenience for him and he just simply doesn't give a damn even for the kids . I mean with us it involves more than just the long term affairs, there a whole lot more. How does one sustain such a marriage?
Hey Ma😍😍😍😍 So sweet 😍
Where do I find the app on android, cant see anything on the play store?
You say 2 years. It's been 3 years with 18 months couples therapy, and 3 with individual for both. Why then is it taking so long to recovery. Why is there no happiness
My husband had is having an emotional affair he moved out and is divorcing me I want to fight for my marriage any advice ?
How do you deal with infidelity that brings forth a child with the other woman
Althea Brown girl when you find out, let me know
Althea Brown
Bounce
Oh heck Hun,Um id gap it..
That’s sis is a hell nah...... you gotta go
Will I ever be okay again? I don't want to divorce him because we have a son but he even lied to our counselor about his porn use. The counselor he begged me to go to. I'm still miserable after 8 years. Still don't trust him. I feel so trapped. How can I tell if he will ever be honest? I feel so stupid for ever believing him.
Elizabeth Liz hello Elizabeth 😊. I’m sorry to hear about your troubles. I find myself looking in the comments as it seems none of these speakers hit on what I went through etc.
I will tell you a little about myself. I have been with my wife for 12 years. In 2016 I found out she had been having an affair for 5 years. No, things were not good before I found out ,
Bc I knew something was wrong. People would come up to me and say “ why aren’t you on your wife’s social media ? ( she had several accounts that portrayed her as a single mother, with pics of her and our child , but I wasn’t in there at all) so social media is a trigger for sure. I don’t have it at all and never did. So she had male “friends” she talked to. Starting in 2011 she would come home from work and lock her door. I was having panic attacks at night for hours and she would stay locked in her room. This is getting long but I’m trying to explain. My wife’s lover had a girlfriend that recorded their communication and also recorded them having sex with a hidden camera. So the gf told me everything and I didn’t believe it.
Seeing them have sex killed me. They were in love etc etc.
Lots of stuff has happened since. My wife says she wants to stay with me. But here’s where I am today: I have sever PTSD. I have Insomnia. I have zero friends. I hate everyone. Besides my children and parents, I am a loner.
LONELINESS. LONELINESS. LONELINESS.
I have no connection with anyone. I am isolated and I have zero self worth. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about my wife and her lover. I have been suicidal since 2013,
Why am I still in the house with her???
I can’t answer this question but to say I am paralyzed. Each day is about avoidance , not living life.
I hate my life, myself. One hard part is she gives me some attention now, and as a very lonely person , I fall for the sex and cuddling etc.
people say “ why don’t you just go sleep with someone” well I have been turned off by sex and women. I don’t like men either bc they represent my wife wanting someone else over me.
I know I’m rambling. I just wanted to reach out to you as I read your comment and see you are hurting.
I am seeking others like me. Loneliness is the worst.
Carl Johnson. This sounds like attachment trauma from your childhood. Absolutely devastating. You may want to google crappy childhood fairy. Crazy name but she talks about how if your emotional needs aren’t met in earliest childhood our brains get wired differently and then in adulthood rejection, betrayal, abandonment will send us into states of extreme panic, misery, suicidal thoughts. Also Alan Robarge changed my life. I’m truly so sorry you’ve been going through this for so long. My boyfriend lied, cheated, betrayed me last year and I’m still not over it, although I’m much better thanks to all I’ve read and watched. Some people cheat. That’s just the way life is. I hope you feel better soon.
Elizabeth Liz Sex addicts don’t get better without help. He needs a counselor and group meetings, accountability and perhaps mentoring. Google Dr Doug Weiss for more info on Sex addiction and how it works and to educate you. Some great books for you: “Your Sexually Addicted Spouse” by Dr Barbara Steffens, “”Intimate Deception” by Dr Sheri Keffer, and”Worthy of Her Trust” by Jason Martinkus. His wife Shelley Martinkus has an easy to follow book/workbook that was very helpful on my journey. It’s going to take a lot of work on you by you to heal from what you’re going through. Each of the books I’ve mentioned are people who went through the same awful things and they are victorious. God Bless.
@@carljohnson6264 loneliness is the worst. Sorry you are going threw all this.
Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it has become a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped clone my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work , all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this great Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +15303784744
So I have a question..
You and many other people say I need to get "Professional help" and/or "Relationship/marriage counseling". Well, What do I do if I have been cheated on, I am experiencing all of these things, my girlfriend who cheated has expressed that she is sorry, has expressed the pain she is dealing with on her side, etc. And we both have agreed that we are going to stay together, work through both sides of our pain together, and that this relationship will work out.
But I am only 16 and I believe that is too young to legally get any "professional help" for this situation.
What do I do?
Do I just do every other step.. and miss out on that one?
TheBest BETS Work on growing as a person. Sixteen is very young and you still are in the midst of become an adult and you’re not yet your own person. I met my spouse in high school and married four years later. Please chase you. I had so much growing I missed by being in a serious relationship at 14. If the relationship doesn’t last, it will hurt, but you both still are young enough to grow as people. I’m so glad you asked your questions and you get to learn now. At this age, I missed so much of life because I was in a committed relationship and I should have been going places and meeting people. You two may need to lose the relationship for awhile grow as people and some day you’ll grow and appreciate what you’ve gotten from the experience.
I pray you both will be blessed with the Best even if that’s not each other. Take Care.
@@Webbgurl2000
Thank you so much for your response!
You contradict yourself about the getting knocked on the floor explanation.