Hey hey hey! I want your marriage or future marriage to thrive! So, I hope these 7 things will help you assess 1) if you're ready for marriage and 2) the current state of your own marriage if you are married and you see these 7 things happening in your marriage. Enjoy and I love y'all!
Hey Allen, I've been watching your videos for several months. I've been blessed and encouraged many times. Had no idea you went to DTS... I'm watching a video you did at DTS about surviving as a student. Too cool. God bless!
Me and my wife have been married for over a year now. We both weren't saved till 7 months ago. My wife got into the bible and started encouraging me to join her so I did, I got saved shortly after her and have never been happier!!! We noticed our marriage have been blessed tremendously!!! Praise the lord jesus christ!!!
God taught me that when you marry someone you have to die to self. We're suppose to serve one another in a marriage. So if you have a selfish mentality like you said, then it won't work.
(Spoiler/shortcut to each point) 0:55 You struggle to completely give up your independence 3:03 You are an unhappy single looking for marriage to make you happy 4:43 You have signs of emotional immaturity 6:28 You have unresolved baggage that you refuse to deal with 7:53 You're not willing to be totally selfless and serving expecting nothing in return 9:48 You believe that if things get tough there is a way out of this marriage 10:32 You don't understand that the purpose of marriage is for the couple to have a purpose
Thanks for posting the timelines but I this is one of those videos that you actually have to watch it all to get the message. Every point and explanation is very relevant to any sort of relationship. Stay blessed
@@trisha2love Sure I agree with your comment, my comment was done in case someone would like to come back over some points if they feel like they missed something and rewatch it or maybe want to write the verses quoted for a specific part in a book (or somewhere else) for themselves. I can remove it in case it is not wise to keep it tho, please let me know. Grace be with you as well :)
This is why I flipped this thoughts and said God if it is your will for me to be married, then let it be so. I desire marriage for a purpose not to prove to anyone I’m capable of marriage. I want God to use my marriage as a stage to Glorify him.
i feel this a lil . i havent had many relationships in my life and now i am with someone and it seems to go very well everyone expects us to still break up. but i need to realize i am in no hurry. i have recognized points here he mentioned that i am strong at but also some i am weak still at, possibly because i am still young. cant believe i'm already 3 years older than my mom was when she married ... Yikes
So true, I thought I was the only one. It's tempting for me personally to do this as a guy, especially since most of my friends and family see me as an introvert (which I am)/one who is too shy to take bold action, but I'm learning and making progress in being satisfied first and always in God alone, my pure joy and satisfaction
I was just thinking and complaining about being single and alone :( thanks to this vid i noticed my faults. Praise the Lord and thanks for posting this video.
Complaining about being alone and single is a desire that you want to be with someone like having a wife. Psalm 37:4 Be content with yourself and God will give you the desire of your heart which is to have a wife like having a partner and being with someone. All you have to do is ask him for a wife and he will provide and give it to you but remember it's on God's time. His timing is perfect.
Right on time Allen! I’ve been in denial for awhile about this. I’d yearn to be married like everyone around me, when deep down both God and I know I’m not ready 🙄😭
Thank you! I stayed with my ex for too long and he did all these things. I am focusing on my relationship with God now and wanting a real God centered marriage one day.
I agree. I dont think we shld be single and waiting. I think we should be single and LIVING. Doing life and enjoying urself simply because you SHOULD be. Not because you're preoccupying urself until u get married. Constantly anticipating, waiting, and thinking about marriage creates desperation and anxiety. This will cause u to pick the wrong person and destroy even a good relationship.
I go through phases in this area. Sometimes I’m confident in my singleness then other times I feel like something is off. I never thought I’d be single for 14 years. God makes no mistakes but this is definitely a challenge.
It is, but I’ve noticed when I continually read the Bible, focus on the assignments God has given me, and study the scriptures. I’m thinking less about being alone or still single and more about God what is your will for my life today.
I can't speak for every one, but why is it so hard to find a spouse for people who are responsible, reasonable, etc.? I think it's because one or both will not ascribe to holy living. Rather, they do something, and when called on it, they say, no big deal, or lie about it. Is that really a Christian?
Michael Albertson I believe we all fall short of the glory. However, it’s when we start to not feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit that concern sets in.
Most of what was mentioned in this video was why my last relationship ended. Made me realize I wasn't ready to share my life with anyone. Since then I've been working on fixing those things and I can say I see things clearer now. Listen to him guys he knows what he's talking about 😁😁.
I've been asking God for a wife for the longest time. I've cried, I've had many lonely days that have hurt to the point where I thought I was gonna end my life, but I've slowly realized that I'm not ready for a wife. I gotta be content and know God is working things out for the best. I will be married one day, but I need to work on me and my faith right now.
Allen you say that people who have these characteristics are not ready for marriage, but there are so many people who are like this that are married 🤷🏻♂️
Preach sister! The truth is, even in the Church, people are shallow. I agree with Allen’s argument that developing these qualities will lead to a more fulfilling, loving, and long-lasting marriage, but some people have an easier time attracting partners than others. The rise of dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, etc. have contributed to an increased emphasis on looks and other superficialities when choosing a partner. This is scriptural as well, because while God looks on the heart, Man looks on the outward appearance. You could have an average looking person who would make a wonderful spouse and is godly as can be, but no one will give them the time of day because they aren’t “hot” or whatever. On the flip-side, you have people who find each other physically attractive but are not spiritually or emotionally mature enough to handle a long-term commitment like marriage, and their relationships don’t last. If they do last, they aren’t healthy and are more a source of misery than joy.
I don't like the idea of having to be responsible for someone else's debt, especially after I've worked hard to get mine down. If I ever want marriage, I'll ask God for a financially stable partner.
i mean ideally if your values include low debt and/or good credit then hopefully the partner god blesses you with will also hold those values. i think the main thing is when you are married and are one, you both are essentially paying all of the same bills, which will include any debt from either side. i dont personally expect my so to help take care of my school debt (which is actually quite low in today's standards) but i already know that he is willing to help me with it, and we arent even at the point where he will need to yet (not married yet nor am i finished with school) and i also know that his debt is low and credit is good. we hold the same values of making sure we pay off the debt we do accrue and only spend what we know we can afford. instead of worrying over what kind of debt a potential so will have, i think it is best to just pray for the one god wills for you to be with, because he knows best no matter what that may end up being.
So, what you're saying is, only a person with good credit can make you happy? Wow! That's a very shallow way of thinking. What I'm hearing, you are telling God, to give you what you want, and not who he has for you, is that correct? What if what you want isn't what's best for you? In my experience, everytime a person tells God what they want, it's never good for them. If it was, you would have it. All I can say is, becareful what you ask for! U just might get it..
@@rayetaylor2993 Thanks for the admonishment, one of the toughest things a lot of the young adult men in the churches around my area deal with is the idea that we need to be the "perfect" suitor before we can even so much as pursue women because of the worldly standards that seeped into the church. Seems like faith in God and godly qualities are being swept under the rug in terms of dating and marriage
My parents were married 50+ years and my mom had a separate account, 401 k and PO Box for her own " worldly goods like clothes jewelry etc. Im sure my dad knew but he always made sure All other bills were paid and I'm sure it was two becoming one as time went on. My Mom started working 10- years After my dad started a new and beneficial job together.
Wow... This is amazing. Wish I had seen this before marriage. Been married for 3.5 years and it's been the hardest thing in my life. Learning a lot of these tips as we go. Really hard. Wish I had known before hand... Thanks for sharing.
I feel like so many married people’s advice sounds like: “just expect marriage to be crap, and make sure you love God a lot, cuz that’s the only way you’ll survive this drain of a person you’re stuck with forever.” I mostly agree with your points, but I still get that same vibe from this video. I do appreciate how Word based your points are.
It's because few want to live as God says. First evidence is when they won't forsake all others as the wedding vows say. Second is when one or both are so selfish that they only care about their happiness. Forsake all others, and see if your marriage works or not. Because if you don't, it won't. And put God first. Then only can He lead you both in the right way.
Very true...in my opinion one of the biggest reasons for people to have serious problems in marriage is the the strong desire to be independent. In marriage the man and woman are one...
I kind of don't want to share my life. I get lonely sometimes, but I have a hard time being accountable to another person. The sound of someone chewing or slurping too loudly can make me insane😟😟. If a person doesn't seem to have much to show after a lifetime, it makes me nervous. I would want to keep my secret rainy day stash. It's a lot of work and I'm too old. Thank you for the tips.
I knew I was not ready for marriage. This sermon has identified the areas I need to work on whether I get married or not. Thank you Pastor Allen for your Godly wisdom. I look forward to your other videos.
I truly enjoyed this. I'm at a point in my life where I'm ready for marriage. Listening to what this powerful man of God stated, I'm ready. I've been in relationships where the individual's past has prevented them from moving forward. Having unforgiveness in our hearts due to something that happened in our past will prevent us from going forward. I refuse to live in the present with someone who can't let go of their past. Great video, man of God!
I was scared to watch this at first, but I realised that showed I wasn’t ready for marriage. Thank you for addressing the 7 points so clearly... especially the 7th point. May God give us wisdom, love and a teachable heart as we prepare for that which He has for us.
Brother Allen I love you 😊 what a great question I so needed to measure myself against this. #1- I passed 😊💕 #2- I passed😊💕 #3-I passed 😊💕 #4-I passed 😊💕 #5- I passed 😊💕 #6- I passed 😊💕 #7- I PASSED HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE LORD HEAVENLY FATHER I pass I'm ready Lord I AM REAAADDDYYYYYY 😍🤗💗💗💗💗🙏🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜💜💜💜
This is a good word. I'm 64 and have been waiting on God for a while now, because I'm not good with picking them. I want and need a husband from God, but I'm afraid of not having peace in my valley and sharing my space. I live alone in peace. I don't want a quarrelsome man. I'd rather be on a corner of a roof than to share a house with a contentious man. Disagreements will come and I'm good with that. I'm mature enough to understand that. Everything else you spoke on, I'm okay. It's just this.
Sign #2 is speaking to me since I struggle with being content single but I must talk to God to help me with this. I struggle with change in my own life, but God is trying to help me. Sign #4 is speaking to me which God is seriously trying to help me with. I know what my purpose from God is. Thanks so much for this video! God still has work to do on me before He brings my husband.
i remember when my eyes were opened to how many things we so easily make idols out of. i feel like i have been sort of doing the same by imagining things will be easier or happier after marriage. but instead i just need to continue working towards happiness in this moment of my life the same way i worked when i was single. i worked on myself and now i work with my relationship to make it strong, so that the marriage will have a strong beginning.
You know, I don't understand why it's idolatrous to want to be married, because when God made man, ( even with all the pets in the Garden of Eden) He saw it was not good for man to be alone. So, he made him a woman. It's part of our make-up to want to share a life.
All these things are great to think about. Wouldn't say people can't get married with one or two of these issues, you can work on these issues in marriage but so much better if you do it before.
This video help answer my questions. At one point 10 years ago i thought i was ready for marriage but i really wasn't God showed me i was not. Im focusing on God and myself. Im learning, praying, studying the bible, healing, growing and God is preparing me one day i will be ready for my husband God ordain for me at the right place and time. Thank you God and allen great encouraging message now i understand more than i did before. God bless all.👏😁😊👍🙏
I'm on the positive side of all these points, and though I and my friends/family have always seen it in me, I've only recently started to seriously consider dating/marriage. Fear held me back for a long time, but I don't want to be afraid anymore, so I recently took a step of faith and signed up on a Christian dating site. I pray God leads me to the one who will be the best match and best leader for me and our future family.
Am ready for marriage guys😂😂 The Holy spirit has broken all this attitudes out of my life Am single born again Christian woman in God i trust 💪I can make it😂
Thank you for this ... you have helped me cultivate so many new perspectives... I am ready ... i have had issues with anger and holding grudges ... now I’ve transitioned into refusing to carry baggage... God has hidden me and we have been on a slow dance... Pruning is a beautiful horror. I’ve had 3 engagements pulled away in painful ways and had to watch them marry not long after ... and it left me staggered and made me deviate from moving forward towards my purpose... God sat me down to reveal to me how He sees me ...now I have a internal peace that makes me respond instead of react.
You made great points in this video. Watching this video reminded me that, although I desire marriage, I am not ready for marriage. I really need to work on my emotional baggage and trauma from my past relationship before I even think about starting a relationship with someone.
I love this. I hear some people try to teach that people should get married as soon as they become 18 and even younger if allowed. Very rarely are people at that age ready for marriage because of all the points you made. We need to start teaching this in church and stop pushing for marriage so quickly and viewing it as an idol.
This video hurts a little cause my ex spouse did most of these things. Especially the emotional immaturity one . I was too naive to see the red flags. I'm thankful God is restoring my soul and healed my broken heart.
I had an independence mentality because my father failed to provide properly so i had to grow up quickly. Thank God im getting over that, because im now engaged and it makes my fiance feels less of a man. 😔
On the brink of divorce now even though I have tried everything I can to fight for my family. IF we get divorced and *IF* I ever desire to get married again this will definitely be one of the many sources I refer to along with marriage counseling. Thanks and subscribed.
After this last engagement, we aren't ready for marriage. Hearing your points definitely confirmed...we weren't ready for marriage. I am now thankful to God for sparing me....thank you Jesus I did not marry this man!
Soooo, this popped up while my daughter & boyfriend are in within ear shot. They're talking about marriage & I can hear them commenting on this vid. Thank you Lord for your perfect timing!
This is so important, I am married and have two young children and we were both not ready in many ways. And now things are incredibly hard. There is always hope though, with God. Worship God, follow Him and be thankful for what He has given us. Great video.
Dang 😩. I’m married already, so it’s a bit too late for me. 16 years with my wife. Money is a big one for me, that I’m still learning, plus we have two kids. Some of the other stuff I struggle with as well🥺. If I knew any of this stuff first, I don’t think I would be married today. However, my wife is what I’ve prayed for. She brings out the best in me.
You are not to remarry unless there was unfaithfulness. If you divorce without this then you cause each other to be adulterers for life. You can only remarry that same first person you divorced. God Bless you. Repent and have faith on The Lord Jesus Christ.
2 out of 7 not bad, but those 2 I need to work on tho I’m not in a relationship it’s something to work on for sure if God thinks I’m ready I’m glad I watched this video to learn and improve ! So Thank you
This should be the foundational teaching in marriage ministry, meaning every marriage ministry thats counselling couples looking to get married should ask the couple these questions in the first meeting with said counsel and couple. Thanks for sharing! Great teaching!
Praise God...Thanks for all the info...it's truly appreciated...Marriage is just supposed to make people more like God...nothing else outside that...I got that conviction recently and to be honest, it kinda sobered me up... now more than ever, as I go through life, I'm, slowly but surely, earnestly seeking and learning to do what the Lord wants me to ...with consistently...I believe this is what HE wants for every aspect of our lives...truly, our lives are not our own...
Once again you hit the nail on the head Allen, all the glory be to God. I was looking for answers as to why a recent relationship was not working out and the 2nd point you mentioned explained my situation to a tee. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ!
There is so much wisdom and conviction in this video, I think the Lord has used this in my life to send me a necessary message. I see a lot of this in myself, and it is helping to change my perspective, thinking and attitude in this area. Thank you for sharing what God’s Word has to say, and God Bless!
#1: I learned at a young age how to stop depending on people. I also believe firmly in sharing everything with my future spouse. None of that keeping it to myself, because it's no longer mine alone. #2: I'm actually beginning to become content in my singleness. Not thrilled about it, but I'm actually finding peace with it and in the Lord. #3: I can be a bit emotional or emotionally immature. I have a bit of a temper, but I'm learning peace and patience in it. I don't hold grudges though or avoid people because I'm angry with them. That's just childish. #4: I do have deep seated regrets from my past and things I'm afraid to let my family know about me. But I'm learning to grow and let go. I wouldn't be ashamed or afraid to talk with my husband about my past and the things in it when I meet him. #5: I'm already consistently giving of myself to my family to the point of having nothing left. I won't have any problem giving to my husband. At least he would appreciate me. #6: The word divorce is not even in my vocabulary. I would never marry a man I wasn't one hundred percent certain was from God and by God. #7: I'm praying and longing in my heart for a mission marriage. I want to be married not to be happy, but because I want to go out into the world with my partner and fulfill our God ordained propose in this life. I know marriage is hard and no one is happy with it all the time. You can truly love it though and have true joy in it. It really is beautiful that way. I'm genuinely surprised about my answers on most of these questions. I'm amazed and thrilled that they were so positive for me. I believe I am, but what do you think? Am I ready for marriage?
Hey hey hey! I want your marriage or future marriage to thrive! So, I hope these 7 things will help you assess 1) if you're ready for marriage and 2) the current state of your own marriage if you are married and you see these 7 things happening in your marriage. Enjoy and I love y'all!
Thanks for the message sir. It's always a blessing hearing from you
😯 Omg! a message we need to hear 👂 🙏🏽God bless this ministry 🎁
Hey Allen,
I've been watching your videos for several months. I've been blessed and encouraged many times. Had no idea you went to DTS... I'm watching a video you did at DTS about surviving as a student. Too cool. God bless!
Josh Pendley yes indeed. I’m a proud graduate!
📝 Great pointers for people period 💌
Me and my wife have been married for over a year now. We both weren't saved till 7 months ago. My wife got into the bible and started encouraging me to join her so I did, I got saved shortly after her and have never been happier!!! We noticed our marriage have been blessed tremendously!!! Praise the lord jesus christ!!!
That's absolutely dope! Praise Jesus!
Hallelujah
Congratulations on spiritual birth♥️
Praise God
Amen. A relationship relying on God is an unbreakable one
Ladies seek God and have a relationship with the Lord first!
Everyone needs to do this women and men equally.
Vincent H yes
Yes ...wholeness and letting everything glorify God ...
Yes ma'am
amen
God taught me that when you marry someone you have to die to self. We're suppose to serve one another in a marriage. So if you have a selfish mentality like you said, then it won't work.
Amen to that Elegant Anne! I agree. Thanks for sharing that. God bless!
I see you on every Christian video.
Jay Freeman That’s pretty cool
So true, Elegant Anne. God bless you.
@@jayfreeman5117 ♥️
(Spoiler/shortcut to each point)
0:55 You struggle to completely give up your independence
3:03 You are an unhappy single looking for marriage to make you happy
4:43 You have signs of emotional immaturity
6:28 You have unresolved baggage that you refuse to deal with
7:53 You're not willing to be totally selfless and serving expecting nothing in return
9:48 You believe that if things get tough there is a way out of this marriage
10:32 You don't understand that the purpose of marriage is for the couple to have a purpose
Thanks for posting the timelines but I this is one of those videos that you actually have to watch it all to get the message. Every point and explanation is very relevant to any sort of relationship. Stay blessed
@@trisha2love Sure I agree with your comment, my comment was done in case someone would like to come back over some points if they feel like they missed something and rewatch it or maybe want to write the verses quoted for a specific part in a book (or somewhere else) for themselves. I can remove it in case it is not wise to keep it tho, please let me know. Grace be with you as well :)
@@FTBRUclips no don't delete it pls as it is a good reference like you mentioned. Thanks for your kind reply.
@@trisha2love Okay I will keep it then, thank you as well and peace be with you from our Lord! :)
FTB Thank you for this. I too was thinking that this would be helpful when replaying the parts that fascinated us the most 💕
I believe God in his wisdom knows when we are ready, even if we think we are ready or not for marriage.
FEMA Camps Guillotines RFID Chips NWO Ameen
Why do you believe that? And what are you expecting people to do with this information?
Ofcourse but you can delay God in your attitude. Preparation is the best before the marraige arrives..
FEMA Camps Guillotines RFID Chips NWO I agree 💯
I'm ready 😭 trusting Gods timing
Happy to report that 1 year later and I’m getting married in April!
anthony James
Amen seek first the kingdom and and His righteousness.
Lisa Love Ministries I think about that verse almost daily and still somehow get caught up in focusing on other things. Thanks for the reminder!
God is faithful..
Amen !
Amen am olso trusting in God
People can make an idol out wanting to be in a relationship.
This is why I flipped this thoughts and said God if it is your will for me to be married, then let it be so. I desire marriage for a purpose not to prove to anyone I’m capable of marriage. I want God to use my marriage as a stage to Glorify him.
@@truthandbeautyco You’re spot on about that!
True!
AMEN! ( cogic voice)
I agree!!!!!
Many do not think about these, they get married to prove a point to family and friends that they are capable of getting married.
Exactly 💯
i feel this a lil . i havent had many relationships in my life and now i am with someone and it seems to go very well everyone expects us to still break up. but i need to realize i am in no hurry. i have recognized points here he mentioned that i am strong at but also some i am weak still at, possibly because i am still young. cant believe i'm already 3 years older than my mom was when she married ... Yikes
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 wow you nailed it! So true and I’ve seen so many of my friends do this. I am content being single and being with God.
That was me and I ended in a divorce.. Lol. Thank you Jesus for the saving grace. Eternally grateful.
So true, I thought I was the only one. It's tempting for me personally to do this as a guy, especially since most of my friends and family see me as an introvert (which I am)/one who is too shy to take bold action, but I'm learning and making progress in being satisfied first and always in God alone, my pure joy and satisfaction
Lord have mercy, all 7 of these things stepped on my toes. I have work to do before I even CONSIDER getting married. Prayers are needed
We all have work to do, before and after we get married. Now that you know taking the first step will . be so much easier.
Am here
🤣🤣🤣me too.
Praying for u🙏🙏🙏🙏
I was just thinking and complaining about being single and alone :( thanks to this vid i noticed my faults. Praise the Lord and thanks for posting this video.
Complaining about being alone and single is a desire that you want to be with someone like having a wife. Psalm 37:4 Be content with yourself and God will give you the desire of your heart which is to have a wife like having a partner and being with someone. All you have to do is ask him for a wife and he will provide and give it to you but remember it's on God's time. His timing is perfect.
Messerschmitt ME-109 ... the word gives 2 descriptions of singleness... it says it’s a gift and a blessing ... we have to be a whole person first
Chuy I never thought of it that way before. That’s really interesting, thank you!
Kahlan Isabella316 *37:4
The key word is being content with yourself . Being single is not a disease.
Right on time Allen! I’ve been in denial for awhile about this. I’d yearn to be married like everyone around me, when deep down both God and I know I’m not ready 🙄😭
Wow that is good self-awareness. You definitely do not want to self-sabotage a potential good relationship.
Amen Sista!!🙌🏾
You can hit me up
Are you ready yet? I am also in the waiting room and seems I have been here for a while 😮
Is it me or, does he kinda resemble Denzel?🤔
I clicked on this video solely to see who else thought this 😂
He does!!
Bruhhhh!!!
😂🤣😂🤣😫
He kind of resembles Densely.
Well said. I just took 5 steps back! Whoa! Not ready!
Thank you! I stayed with my ex for too long and he did all these things. I am focusing on my relationship with God now and wanting a real God centered marriage one day.
It will come Marisa. Just coming off being broken up from my Fiancé. He has something and someone for us.
Point no 6
I agree. I dont think we shld be single and waiting. I think we should be single and LIVING. Doing life and enjoying urself simply because you SHOULD be. Not because you're preoccupying urself until u get married. Constantly anticipating, waiting, and thinking about marriage creates desperation and anxiety. This will cause u to pick the wrong person and destroy even a good relationship.
Good thoughts. Exactly, I am not waiting in that sense..I am living now the life God has given me.
I go through phases in this area. Sometimes I’m confident in my singleness then other times I feel like something is off. I never thought I’d be single for 14 years. God makes no mistakes but this is definitely a challenge.
Wow you are not alone. Being confident is a daily mindset shift. What is important is to know you worth in Christ and believing him.
It is, but I’ve noticed when I continually read the Bible, focus on the assignments God has given me, and study the scriptures. I’m thinking less about being alone or still single and more about God what is your will for my life today.
I can't speak for every one, but why is it so hard to find a spouse for people who are responsible, reasonable, etc.? I think it's because one or both will not ascribe to holy living. Rather, they do something, and when called on it, they say, no big deal, or lie about it. Is that really a Christian?
Michael Albertson I believe we all fall short of the glory. However, it’s when we start to not feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit that concern sets in.
14 years? Lol...I'm 52 and I've never been married. Fourteen years is nothing.
Most of what was mentioned in this video was why my last relationship ended. Made me realize I wasn't ready to share my life with anyone. Since then I've been working on fixing those things and I can say I see things clearer now. Listen to him guys he knows what he's talking about 😁😁.
God knows when I am ready for marriage. I am just enjoying my single life now.
I've been asking God for a wife for the longest time. I've cried, I've had many lonely days that have hurt to the point where I thought I was gonna end my life, but I've slowly realized that I'm not ready for a wife. I gotta be content and know God is working things out for the best. I will be married one day, but I need to work on me and my faith right now.
Allen you say that people who have these characteristics are not ready for marriage, but there are so many people who are like this that are married 🤷🏻♂️
Preach sister! The truth is, even in the Church, people are shallow. I agree with Allen’s argument that developing these qualities will lead to a more fulfilling, loving, and long-lasting marriage, but some people have an easier time attracting partners than others. The rise of dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, etc. have contributed to an increased emphasis on looks and other superficialities when choosing a partner. This is scriptural as well, because while God looks on the heart, Man looks on the outward appearance.
You could have an average looking person who would make a wonderful spouse and is godly as can be, but no one will give them the time of day because they aren’t “hot” or whatever.
On the flip-side, you have people who find each other physically attractive but are not spiritually or emotionally mature enough to handle a long-term commitment like marriage, and their relationships don’t last. If they do last, they aren’t healthy and are more a source of misery than joy.
I don't like the idea of having to be responsible for someone else's debt, especially after I've worked hard to get mine down. If I ever want marriage, I'll ask God for a financially stable partner.
Right. Thats a good prayer to pray.
@Beloved of Jesus pray you are granted wisdom not for specific attributes because only the Lord knows his will for your life
i mean ideally if your values include low debt and/or good credit then hopefully the partner god blesses you with will also hold those values. i think the main thing is when you are married and are one, you both are essentially paying all of the same bills, which will include any debt from either side. i dont personally expect my so to help take care of my school debt (which is actually quite low in today's standards) but i already know that he is willing to help me with it, and we arent even at the point where he will need to yet (not married yet nor am i finished with school) and i also know that his debt is low and credit is good. we hold the same values of making sure we pay off the debt we do accrue and only spend what we know we can afford. instead of worrying over what kind of debt a potential so will have, i think it is best to just pray for the one god wills for you to be with, because he knows best no matter what that may end up being.
So, what you're saying is, only a person with good credit can make you happy? Wow! That's a very shallow way of thinking. What I'm hearing, you are telling God, to give you what you want, and not who he has for you, is that correct? What if what you want isn't what's best for you? In my experience, everytime a person tells God what they want, it's never good for them. If it was, you would have it. All I can say is, becareful what you ask for! U just might get it..
@@rayetaylor2993 Thanks for the admonishment, one of the toughest things a lot of the young adult men in the churches around my area deal with is the idea that we need to be the "perfect" suitor before we can even so much as pursue women because of the worldly standards that seeped into the church. Seems like faith in God and godly qualities are being swept under the rug in terms of dating and marriage
This guy isn't really ready. I've been aware of it for some time and can make no excuses. Hopefully God will help me in the areas I lack.
If He can do it for me, He can do it for you. God bless you. I'll say a prayer for you 🙏🏼
Thank you.I'm on the right track.I pray that may God continue leading me.
My parents were married 50+ years and my mom had a separate account, 401 k and PO Box for her own " worldly goods like clothes jewelry etc.
Im sure my dad knew but he always made sure All other bills were paid and I'm sure it was two becoming one as time went on. My Mom started working 10- years After my dad started a new and beneficial job together.
I wonder if they discussed this and decided that’s what they were going to do as part of budgeting. Curious.
Now this is a video worth watching more than once. Hide this one away in your storage for further review because this is life changing.
This was awesome, great tips bc I'm getting married soon, Also I'm going to show this to my fiancee we're gonna watch it together. Thank you! 👍🏼✝️
Exactly same position as you :)
That's what I like to hear! Thanks for watching, Lena
Wow... This is amazing. Wish I had seen this before marriage. Been married for 3.5 years and it's been the hardest thing in my life. Learning a lot of these tips as we go. Really hard. Wish I had known before hand... Thanks for sharing.
I feel like so many married people’s advice sounds like: “just expect marriage to be crap, and make sure you love God a lot, cuz that’s the only way you’ll survive this drain of a person you’re stuck with forever.” I mostly agree with your points, but I still get that same vibe from this video.
I do appreciate how Word based your points are.
He doesn’t make marriage look desirable
It's because few want to live as God says. First evidence is when they won't forsake all others as the wedding vows say. Second is when one or both are so selfish that they only care about their happiness. Forsake all others, and see if your marriage works or not. Because if you don't, it won't. And put God first. Then only can He lead you both in the right way.
Very true...in my opinion one of the biggest reasons for people to have serious problems in marriage is the the strong desire to be independent. In marriage the man and woman are one...
Humility is key
Ok so this video confirmed what I already knew, definitely not ready for marriage lol.
Awesome video and topic. Even married people need to watch this video too.
Thinking to myself this morning "Lisa do you really think you are ready for marriage"? Then your video! You betta Preach Allen!!!
It's always an encouragement to hear that a video has helped someone in their walk with Christ! Thanks so much for watching and for your comment, LY
I kind of don't want to share my life. I get lonely sometimes, but I have a hard time being accountable to another person. The sound of someone chewing or slurping too loudly can make me insane😟😟. If a person doesn't seem to have much to show after a lifetime, it makes me nervous. I would want to keep my secret rainy day stash. It's a lot of work and I'm too old. Thank you for the tips.
I knew I was not ready for marriage. This sermon has identified the areas I need to work on whether I get married or not. Thank you Pastor Allen for your Godly wisdom. I look forward to your other videos.
No problem, glad I can help! Thanks so much for your support, Joann Byrd!
I truly enjoyed this. I'm at a point in my life where I'm ready for marriage. Listening to what this powerful man of God stated, I'm ready. I've been in relationships where the individual's past has prevented them from moving forward. Having unforgiveness in our hearts due to something that happened in our past will prevent us from going forward. I refuse to live in the present with someone who can't let go of their past. Great video, man of God!
Thank you I needed this 🙏🏽
I was scared to watch this at first, but I realised that showed I wasn’t ready for marriage. Thank you for addressing the 7 points so clearly... especially the 7th point. May God give us wisdom, love and a teachable heart as we prepare for that which He has for us.
Bruh I need to work on like 10/7 of these 🤣🔥💪🏽
🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Brother Allen I love you 😊 what a great question I so needed to measure myself against this.
#1- I passed 😊💕
#2- I passed😊💕
#3-I passed 😊💕
#4-I passed 😊💕
#5- I passed 😊💕
#6- I passed 😊💕
#7- I PASSED
HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE LORD HEAVENLY FATHER I pass I'm ready Lord I AM REAAADDDYYYYYY 😍🤗💗💗💗💗🙏🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜💜💜💜
Lolllll!!!!
@@Chrxssym lol 😄
This is a good word. I'm 64 and have been waiting on God for a while now,
because I'm not good with picking them. I want and need a husband from God,
but I'm afraid of not having peace in my valley and sharing my space.
I live alone in peace. I don't want a quarrelsome man. I'd rather be on a corner of a roof than to share
a house with a contentious man.
Disagreements will come and I'm good with that. I'm mature enough to understand that.
Everything else you spoke on, I'm okay. It's just this.
Sign #2 is speaking to me since I struggle with being content single but I must talk to God to help me with this. I struggle with change in my own life, but God is trying to help me. Sign #4 is speaking to me which God is seriously trying to help me with. I know what my purpose from God is. Thanks so much for this video! God still has work to do on me before He brings my husband.
I'm still single and always will be. I know I will never be ready for marriage. I value my freedom too much and am unwilling to compromise.
I learned I was making an idol out of marriage.
I was doing the same thing.
i remember when my eyes were opened to how many things we so easily make idols out of. i feel like i have been sort of doing the same by imagining things will be easier or happier after marriage. but instead i just need to continue working towards happiness in this moment of my life the same way i worked when i was single. i worked on myself and now i work with my relationship to make it strong, so that the marriage will have a strong beginning.
Good job being honest
That is easy to do, unfortunately.
You know, I don't understand why it's idolatrous to want to be married, because when God made man, ( even with all the pets in the Garden of Eden) He saw it was not good for man to be alone. So, he made him a woman. It's part of our make-up to want to share a life.
This is a really great video for those who want to be married☺
Thank you so much for watching! Your comment means a lot, Shantay Francis.
You're welcome, Sir ☺
All these things are great to think about. Wouldn't say people can't get married with one or two of these issues, you can work on these issues in marriage but so much better if you do it before.
This is such great advice! So many times we look for happiness in our partner when we need to find it in God! :) Great points!! Loved it!
I am not ready. Thanks!!
Why
I have a huge fear of marriage, so when I hear just the word marriage, it send chills down my spine, so I'd rather be single.
😧 just can't..
Samme
me too
This video help answer my questions. At one point 10 years ago i thought i was ready for marriage but i really wasn't God showed me i was not. Im focusing on God and myself. Im learning, praying, studying the bible, healing, growing and God is preparing me one day i will be ready for my husband God ordain for me at the right place and time. Thank you God and allen great encouraging message now i understand more than i did before. God bless all.👏😁😊👍🙏
I'm on the positive side of all these points, and though I and my friends/family have always seen it in me, I've only recently started to seriously consider dating/marriage. Fear held me back for a long time, but I don't want to be afraid anymore, so I recently took a step of faith and signed up on a Christian dating site. I pray God leads me to the one who will be the best match and best leader for me and our future family.
I'm in the same boat as you
Wow. This was very good and informative. Thank You 🙏. The GOD purpose was perfectly defined. Glory!
Thanks so much for watching and for your comment Wanda Wesley! God bless!
Am ready for marriage guys😂😂
The Holy spirit has broken all this attitudes out of my life Am single born again Christian woman
in God i trust
💪I can make it😂
Amen!!!
Thanks for this video Allen! It was very educational. I needed to see it.
You're welcome Mike Kirkland! Thanks so much!
I feel like I'm 90% ready, I'm trusting God
Thank you for this ... you have helped me cultivate so many new perspectives... I am ready ... i have had issues with anger and holding grudges ... now I’ve transitioned into refusing to carry baggage... God has hidden me and we have been on a slow dance... Pruning is a beautiful horror. I’ve had 3 engagements pulled away in painful ways and had to watch them marry not long after ... and it left me staggered and made me deviate from moving forward towards my purpose... God sat me down to reveal to me how He sees me ...now I have a internal peace that makes me respond instead of react.
You made great points in this video. Watching this video reminded me that, although I desire marriage, I am not ready for marriage. I really need to work on my emotional baggage and trauma from my past relationship before I even think about starting a relationship with someone.
I love this. I hear some people try to teach that people should get married as soon as they become 18 and even younger if allowed. Very rarely are people at that age ready for marriage because of all the points you made. We need to start teaching this in church and stop pushing for marriage so quickly and viewing it as an idol.
This video hurts a little cause my ex spouse did most of these things. Especially the emotional immaturity one . I was too naive to see the red flags. I'm thankful God is restoring my soul and healed my broken heart.
Were there any signs you saw in the dating phase?
I had an independence mentality because my father failed to provide properly so i had to grow up quickly. Thank God im getting over that, because im now engaged and it makes my fiance feels less of a man. 😔
On the brink of divorce now even though I have tried everything I can to fight for my family. IF we get divorced and *IF* I ever desire to get married again this will definitely be one of the many sources I refer to along with marriage counseling. Thanks and subscribed.
I pray for the restoration of your marriage. Wait on the lord, spend time with him...go within and find you again!!🙏
@@onamiilove777 thanks alot Onami!
After this last engagement, we aren't ready for marriage. Hearing your points definitely confirmed...we weren't ready for marriage. I am now thankful to God for sparing me....thank you Jesus I did not marry this man!
Amen! I was in a similar situation. Thank you Lord for protecting me.
Same, our Father is faithful though it was painful at the time I thank Him
Love that sign on the left: "Live by grace, not perfection."
Thank you for this video sir.. As a single person I am learning a lot from your videos.. Keep it up 👍 Glory to God for your life. ❤️
Soooo, this popped up while my daughter & boyfriend are in within ear shot. They're talking about marriage & I can hear them commenting on this vid. Thank you Lord for your perfect timing!
This is so important, I am married and have two young children and we were both not ready in many ways. And now things are incredibly hard. There is always hope though, with God. Worship God, follow Him and be thankful for what He has given us. Great video.
Dang 😩. I’m married already, so it’s a bit too late for me. 16 years with my wife. Money is a big one for me, that I’m still learning, plus we have two kids. Some of the other stuff I struggle with as well🥺. If I knew any of this stuff first, I don’t think I would be married today. However, my wife is what I’ve prayed for. She brings out the best in me.
Great video! I examine myself based on what you said. Although I am not ready for marriage, I can prepare for it. God is in control
I definitely ain’t ready! LOL! Great video my man! God Bless!
CONGRATS Brother Allen on reaching 270,000 subcribers! To God be the glory!☝️
I went through #2... In processing of of GROWING THROUGH IT NOW
You are not to remarry unless there was unfaithfulness. If you divorce without this then you cause each other to be adulterers for life. You can only remarry that same first person you divorced. God Bless you. Repent and have faith on The Lord Jesus Christ.
@Audrey E I or abandonment
I am soooooo not ready for marriage... great video
I'm not ready...or interested. I zoned out on this video.
Put all your expectations in God!😊 He will provide!🙌🙌🙌🙏🙏
Never been married and don't expect to. ☺️
😂
Lol I’m really grateful for this list because I do about half of those signs. I’m rethinking.
2 out of 7 not bad, but those 2 I need to work on tho I’m not in a relationship it’s something to work on for sure if God thinks I’m ready I’m glad I watched this video to learn and improve ! So Thank you
Real strong stuff! Thank you!
You're welcome Connor Johnson! Thanks so much!
Great blessing. Great challenge. Great responsibility. Need great grace.
Wow, it feels like youre talking to me in person! Thanks for another excellent video 👍🏼
This video definitely open my eyes to the idea that alot of people who are married shouldn't be
This is so good!!!!!Thanks for this video!!@@Can you do one on signs that you are ready? And one on if God is preparing you for marriage?
And maturity- maturity in relations to Christ
Amen brother. This was definitely a good one.
After watching this video, I’m feeling a lot more confident for when my time does come for marriage
This should be the foundational teaching in marriage ministry, meaning every marriage ministry thats counselling couples looking to get married should ask the couple these questions in the first meeting with said counsel and couple. Thanks for sharing! Great teaching!
I need you guy to pray for me I'm in a situation please help me and my family please in the name of Jesus
Praise God...Thanks for all the info...it's truly appreciated...Marriage is just supposed to make people more like God...nothing else outside that...I got that conviction recently and to be honest, it kinda sobered me up... now more than ever, as I go through life, I'm, slowly but surely, earnestly seeking and learning to do what the Lord wants me to ...with consistently...I believe this is what HE wants for every aspect of our lives...truly, our lives are not our own...
Wow. Oh boy, I am living it. Everything that God says is accurate. Everything.
Thank you Pastor Allen for giving out such magnificent advice in this video!!!
Once again you hit the nail on the head Allen, all the glory be to God. I was looking for answers as to why a recent relationship was not working out and the 2nd point you mentioned explained my situation to a tee. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ!
Please don't stay in no abusive marriage. Repeated infidelity must not be tolerated also.
Yours is what's mine and whats mine is ours
Wonderful video! More to be spoken.
Thank you so much for watching! Your comment means a lot, Benjamin Ruckman.
There is so much wisdom and conviction in this video, I think the Lord has used this in my life to send me a necessary message. I see a lot of this in myself, and it is helping to change my perspective, thinking and attitude in this area. Thank you for sharing what God’s Word has to say, and God Bless!
Right in TIME! I guess I got my understanding. Back to studying I go!
#1: I learned at a young age how to stop depending on people. I also believe firmly in sharing everything with my future spouse. None of that keeping it to myself, because it's no longer mine alone.
#2: I'm actually beginning to become content in my singleness. Not thrilled about it, but I'm actually finding peace with it and in the Lord.
#3: I can be a bit emotional or emotionally immature. I have a bit of a temper, but I'm learning peace and patience in it. I don't hold grudges though or avoid people because I'm angry with them. That's just childish.
#4: I do have deep seated regrets from my past and things I'm afraid to let my family know about me. But I'm learning to grow and let go. I wouldn't be ashamed or afraid to talk with my husband about my past and the things in it when I meet him.
#5: I'm already consistently giving of myself to my family to the point of having nothing left. I won't have any problem giving to my husband. At least he would appreciate me.
#6: The word divorce is not even in my vocabulary. I would never marry a man I wasn't one hundred percent certain was from God and by God.
#7: I'm praying and longing in my heart for a mission marriage. I want to be married not to be happy, but because I want to go out into the world with my partner and fulfill our God ordained propose in this life.
I know marriage is hard and no one is happy with it all the time. You can truly love it though and have true joy in it. It really is beautiful that way.
I'm genuinely surprised about my answers on most of these questions. I'm amazed and thrilled that they were so positive for me.
I believe I am, but what do you think? Am I ready for marriage?
@Beloved of Jesus I had never thought of it that way before. I'll be praying for confirmation now. Thank you 💗
@@katiedrake76 hope you got your answer
Thanks for this video Allen! I needed this
This popped up on my timeline… this is so true … I agree with everything you said
lord help me with my anger, give me a patient and long suffering spirit. 🙏
thank you jesus for how far you have brought us