Guessing Random Things About You | ASMR

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  • Опубликовано: 14 янв 2025

Комментарии • 10 тыс.

  • @imafrog7666
    @imafrog7666 4 года назад +15550

    “Are you human”
    “I think this is getting a little personal”

    • @husband-of-chinggis
      @husband-of-chinggis 4 года назад +145

      underrated comment

    • @caoduyen9149
      @caoduyen9149 3 года назад +25

      He thinks aliens are real tho
      I’m joking

    • @nokoanna5077
      @nokoanna5077 3 года назад +24

      Dont vory frog.
      I am somthing else to. Since my name in translasjon is somthing else.

    • @darling.1806
      @darling.1806 3 года назад +16

      Yeah I mean my species is obviously the waste of space type.

    • @user-qk1oj3kz5h
      @user-qk1oj3kz5h 3 года назад +17

      @@husband-of-chinggis stop

  • @T_Boyd2122
    @T_Boyd2122 5 лет назад +4452

    “When you were 12, did you steal a candy bar from your local convenience store”
    I plead the fifth

  • @susgi2631
    @susgi2631 5 лет назад +23338

    “is the fourth letter in your name q?”
    *Lord Farquaad shifts uncomfortably*

  • @gerrityoudell2444
    @gerrityoudell2444 3 года назад +4247

    He’s not writing, but drawing the person that would answer yes to all these questions

    • @poggestfrog323
      @poggestfrog323 2 года назад +93

      What about the person who said no to all these answers? That would be more interesting because they would not be a human

    • @jodimills1279
      @jodimills1279 2 года назад +20

      Aka himself

    • @sygnetshorts
      @sygnetshorts 2 года назад +11

      He actually guessed right a lot about myself, including the name one with the number of vowels and constanants. Pretty crazy he guessed everything right about my name

    • @wellhellothere5877
      @wellhellothere5877 2 года назад +5

      @@poggestfrog323 neither would they have a soul

    • @farithazri621
      @farithazri621 2 года назад +1

      Асмр

  • @KotaRaine-v8x
    @KotaRaine-v8x 4 года назад +5545

    "Are you human?"
    *sweating* "Next question"

    • @Slinkycomet39
      @Slinkycomet39 4 года назад +131

      "Do you have a soul?"
      *SWEATS PROFUSELY*

    • @cheems016
      @cheems016 3 года назад +18

      Well, answer.

    • @darling.1806
      @darling.1806 3 года назад +18

      @@cheems016 I'd rather not....°@-@

    • @jordenstrother2227
      @jordenstrother2227 3 года назад +10

      Ah sh*t he figured it out

    • @LordChaosHavik
      @LordChaosHavik 3 года назад +9

      Am a Ginger so I think it's a no to both.

  • @QuickFlixDae
    @QuickFlixDae 5 лет назад +10834

    "Are you human?" *Zuckerberg sips water intensely*

    • @davidclout6286
      @davidclout6286 5 лет назад +36

      I was about to comment this.

    • @ghost-pj9tm
      @ghost-pj9tm 5 лет назад +60

      Really I was thinking inhales water but that works too lol

    • @Jimmiesmom
      @Jimmiesmom 5 лет назад +14

      SHIT THARE ON TO ME

    • @generalraven9804
      @generalraven9804 5 лет назад +22

      Don’t you mean zucc juice?

    • @Demon_SXZ
      @Demon_SXZ 5 лет назад +1

      @@davidclout6286 to late

  • @syloboy163
    @syloboy163 3 года назад +3594

    11:59 "when you were 12 years old, did you happen to steal a candy bar from the local convenience store?"
    "For legal reasons, my answer is no."

    • @saturnfour
      @saturnfour 3 года назад +62

      me at 15 still stealing stuff in every store i go into: _next question-_

    • @heartofonyx9763
      @heartofonyx9763 3 года назад +44

      @@saturnfour hey, don’t do that, it hurts sales >:T
      (This is lighthearted btw)

    • @saturnfour
      @saturnfour 3 года назад +2

      @@heartofonyx9763 i’m sorry 😓i need to stop 🧍

    • @DoofXMachina
      @DoofXMachina 3 года назад +31

      @@saturnfour then... just stop

    • @saturnfour
      @saturnfour 3 года назад +4

      @@DoofXMachina bye i’m trying

  • @prytz5911
    @prytz5911 2 года назад +2313

    im going to do everything he asked here so that when i come back to this video i can finally say yes to everything

    • @asmurr3797
      @asmurr3797 2 года назад +73

      Including cheat death out of 10 bucks

    • @jilyyyyy.
      @jilyyyyy. 2 года назад +42

      hmmmm the birthday one??

    • @snipercat7838
      @snipercat7838 2 года назад +41

      GOOD LUCK TO THAT BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THE 4TH LETTER OF YOUR LAST NAME TO Q!

    • @doomerduck1346
      @doomerduck1346 2 года назад +35

      Send a tattoo pic

    • @CornRaked
      @CornRaked 2 года назад +41

      @@snipercat7838 farquad

  • @tponya
    @tponya 5 лет назад +3865

    "Do you have a soul?"
    Spongebob: No but I have 62 cents

  • @dietcapriisun
    @dietcapriisun 5 лет назад +4424

    akinator:
    rift: *IM BOUT TO END THIS MANS WHOLE CAREER*

  • @songofsolomon5677
    @songofsolomon5677 5 лет назад +5341

    “Is the fourth letter in your name q?”
    Me with three letters in my name: *yes*

    • @mikeyyyv3640
      @mikeyyyv3640 5 лет назад +79

      Susie Sheep I bet you 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ur name is Mia

    • @iLxnk0
      @iLxnk0 5 лет назад +25

      Mike Vaknansky or Ian

    • @kao7ic13
      @kao7ic13 5 лет назад +106

      Are u joe?

    • @yeetonmyfeet6548
      @yeetonmyfeet6548 5 лет назад +127

      @@kao7ic13 wHo'S JoE?

    • @Struxion
      @Struxion 4 года назад +184

      @@yeetonmyfeet6548 *Inhales*
      JOE MAMMA

  • @obsessivelyobsessed5263
    @obsessivelyobsessed5263 3 года назад +571

    Imagine the person who actually had the poetry reading one, but they were like "AWWW mate... so close.... it's not a jellyfish... it's a squid.... but everything else is spot on!"

    • @keenanlarsen1639
      @keenanlarsen1639 Год назад +13

      If that person exists they should have it changed to a jellyfish

    • @nofwild6325
      @nofwild6325 Год назад

      Man of war is technically not a jelly fish If I remember correctly

    • @DarthSidian
      @DarthSidian 10 месяцев назад

      @@nofwild6325
      Correct. It's a siphonophore.

  • @Canesugar7683
    @Canesugar7683 6 лет назад +3324

    Imagine Rift just guessing your phone number and address when you are about to fall asleep

    • @majintorabisu6633
      @majintorabisu6633 5 лет назад +97

      Duuuuude lol I'd freak out and look out my bedroom window

    • @TYZ.AUTOMOTIVE
      @TYZ.AUTOMOTIVE 5 лет назад +4

      😂😂

    • @snipa2408
      @snipa2408 5 лет назад +74

      your social security number and everything 🤣

    • @ranch418
      @ranch418 5 лет назад +60

      Just calmly like: 1273....

    • @1996Pinocchio
      @1996Pinocchio 5 лет назад +3

      hilarious

  • @thepizzatime3502
    @thepizzatime3502 3 года назад +2872

    “Are you human?”
    “No this is Patrick”

    • @purplegirltoh
      @purplegirltoh 3 года назад +16

      This comment is so underrated

    • @Obama3ryk
      @Obama3ryk 3 года назад +7

      Man I think this is the most creative comment out there

    • @Obama3ryk
      @Obama3ryk 3 года назад +4

      @@thepizzatime3502 it is not, srsly so many stupid comments I see over and over again on other videos

    • @z3dthezombie
      @z3dthezombie 3 года назад +4

      U N D E R R A T E D

    • @toeragtoerag
      @toeragtoerag 3 года назад +1

      @@Obama3ryk Obama, sir, What is your last name?

  • @tristanmcguire4820
    @tristanmcguire4820 4 года назад +11482

    I have the weird feeling his questions are really facts about himself

  • @Actualwendigo
    @Actualwendigo 2 года назад +167

    I like that when he asks questions like are you tired he doesn’t say what he writes as to let the answers be universal

  • @kierancooper404
    @kierancooper404 4 года назад +1918

    When he said, "do u have a soul"
    Me a ginger: no?

  • @michaelpaladino2158
    @michaelpaladino2158 5 лет назад +1808

    Him: "Are you human"
    Me: *short circuits and explodes*

  • @squirrel9301
    @squirrel9301 4 года назад +2450

    him: can you run fast enough to get away from the police
    me, in my wheelchair:

    • @connorfields1809
      @connorfields1809 3 года назад +85

      You could ride fast enough😂

    • @Businessgoose123
      @Businessgoose123 3 года назад +92

      If you go down a hill then yeah

    • @asquirrel7757
      @asquirrel7757 3 года назад +56

      Bro u needa get one of em formula 1 wheelchairs the police scrubs will never catch up, godspeed, literally

    • @insertrandomusernamhere4209
      @insertrandomusernamhere4209 3 года назад +6

      @Adolf Hitler donate him a panther :)

    • @pancakes8816
      @pancakes8816 3 года назад +14

      Question, how do you slow down when going down a hill? Or like if you accidently pick up a shit ton of speed, how would you stop?

  • @murder070
    @murder070 3 года назад +386

    "Do you have a tatto on your left leg of a one legged victorian high back chair where sits a jellyfish reading poetry to a group of maline stalagmites which represents the ongoing struggle between parent and child as described in chapter 12 of her majestys decript of the inhabitents of the inner sanctum of the eternally finite thaumaltariums" that is the most oddly specific thing i have ever heard

    • @jehehe76tcixi
      @jehehe76tcixi 2 года назад +40

      i have it on my right calf :/

    • @Sharpened_stick
      @Sharpened_stick Год назад +8

      Do you have a tattoo on your left leg of a one legged Victorian high back chair where sits a jelly fish reading a poetry to a group of maline stalagmites which represents the ongoing struggle between parent and child as described in chapter 12 of her majestys decript of the inhabitants of the inner sanctum of the eternally finite thaumaltariums?

    • @pinkiefly6218
      @pinkiefly6218 10 месяцев назад +2

      @@Sharpened_stickyea

    • @JustinBeaver-ne5gp
      @JustinBeaver-ne5gp 7 месяцев назад +2

      How did he guess my exact tattoo the only 1 that I have Are you kidding me

    • @prucera
      @prucera 4 месяца назад

      not even AI was able to recreate this

  • @abyss9171
    @abyss9171 4 года назад +5159

    “Do you have a soul?” Me, a ginger: “Well no sir, I don’t believe so”

    • @masongeiger3075
      @masongeiger3075 4 года назад +90

      U do since u stole it

    • @v4mpire.culture
      @v4mpire.culture 4 года назад +21

      I don't get the joke gingers dont have souls? I'm not a ginger and I dont have a soul?

    • @domada8738
      @domada8738 4 года назад +22

      @@v4mpire.culture Search for "gingers do have souls" it's an old meme

    • @Bailinator
      @Bailinator 4 года назад +38

      holy shit this reminds me of that one episode of southpark lmaoo😂😂

    • @whatamidoingwithmylife3229
      @whatamidoingwithmylife3229 4 года назад +8

      AS A FELLOW GINGER I COULD NOT AGREE MORE

  • @StaticSpark314
    @StaticSpark314 4 года назад +29650

    Imagine the one person in the world who he got everything right about finding this video and freaking out

    • @Marwan_og
      @Marwan_og 4 года назад +2345

      Mathematically speaking it is a very very slim chance, actually almost impossible for anyone in the world itself to get all questions correct

    • @Brae182
      @Brae182 4 года назад +991

      @@Marwan_og cool

    • @kileywinkler5368
      @kileywinkler5368 4 года назад +1272

      Marwan Mahmoud wow that’s so cool but i don’t remember asking...

    • @thatsprucedude5027
      @thatsprucedude5027 4 года назад +2790

      @Marwan Mahmoud sounds like someone whos freaking out coz he got it all right would say

    • @lazershots4359
      @lazershots4359 4 года назад +948

      @@Marwan_og I have a feeling you're 14 and you think you're the smartest person in the universe

  • @JaykuhbYT
    @JaykuhbYT 5 лет назад +3018

    "Do you have a tattoo, on your left calf, of a one legged victorian high back chair in which sits a... Jellyfish... Which represents the struggle..." This question only goes on for about a paragraph, which must R E A L L Y freak out the one person in the world that may have it... Just think...

    • @asas14444
      @asas14444 4 года назад +19

      or may not have it?

    • @northernmostrat
      @northernmostrat 4 года назад +136

      ....man 'o' war jellyfish * Reading poetry to a group of maligned stalagmites. Which represents the ongoing struggle in between parent and child as described in chapter twelve of her majesty's decree * to the inhabitants of the inner-sanctum * of the eternally finite thamultarians.

    • @miyokotheh0e535
      @miyokotheh0e535 4 года назад +114

      Funny story
      This girl that went to my camps dad had a tattoo like this and I asked him what was it and he gave this exact description so that creeped me out

    • @JaykuhbYT
      @JaykuhbYT 4 года назад +2

      @@northernmostrat thanks for finishing lol

    • @sydneybrooks6038
      @sydneybrooks6038 4 года назад +3

      Shy_foxx_gaming damn

  • @gelatopurple
    @gelatopurple 2 года назад +130

    Plot twist: he's trying to find out our social security number but he's asking other questions so we don't find out

  • @khostie
    @khostie 3 года назад +3757

    “Are you human?”
    No, I’m a drawing on a sticky note named montee

  • @ΒίκτωρΚιρόσκα
    @ΒίκτωρΚιρόσκα 5 лет назад +8804

    Think about it, in some universe, there is is probably some guy that relates to every single one of his questions and he is just staring creeped out on his screen.

    • @pussyrestorer4370
      @pussyrestorer4370 5 лет назад +663

      In some alternate universe some guy is nervously holding a gun, shaking while looking out his window

    • @Cintivii
      @Cintivii 5 лет назад +260

      But someone cant be born in January and September at the same time

    • @Sphagetti__
      @Sphagetti__ 5 лет назад +527

      @@Cintivii In some universe this is possible

    • @toyamonee753
      @toyamonee753 5 лет назад +47

      Did u just assume the gender?!!?? XD

    • @lukacrnomarkovic8172
      @lukacrnomarkovic8172 5 лет назад +11

      I dont relate to any

  • @Struxion
    @Struxion 6 лет назад +7568

    If you answered yes to any of the questions, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

    • @LoserSnoozer
      @LoserSnoozer 6 лет назад +127

      pay up

    • @MelMelMel
      @MelMelMel 6 лет назад +39

      So... all honest humans?
      Its often the dishonest ppl who are at the financial top.

    • @cat-jv2yt
      @cat-jv2yt 6 лет назад +31

      TheFatalFreak this is so weird, you might find this weird but I have been here before and seen this comment, I don’t remember it but I do, it’s more than just déjà vu. I don’t know what is going on but I am extremely confused right now.

    • @endermage77
      @endermage77 5 лет назад +6

      Financial compensation for answering yes to any of the questions?
      Well darnit

    • @kxmode
      @kxmode 5 лет назад +11

      Open your window and yell, "It's my money and I need it now!"

  • @jonathan6703
    @jonathan6703 3 года назад +119

    “When you were 12 yrs old did u steal a candy bar from a local convenience store?”
    My lawyer informs me to remain silent.

  • @CLUBTOHM
    @CLUBTOHM 4 года назад +6670

    He’s writing “I can’t believe I get paid for this shit” over and over again

    • @slickryder
      @slickryder 4 года назад +212

      that was a good joke i actually laughed at that :)

    • @aquivan2564
      @aquivan2564 4 года назад +122

      I don’t think he does but if so, that’s absolutely hilarious and I can relate.

    • @themidnightview7943
      @themidnightview7943 4 года назад +18

      Lol i know right

    • @haydenborowy5749
      @haydenborowy5749 3 года назад +56

      I desperately want that to be true

    • @bethbragancia955
      @bethbragancia955 3 года назад +15

      I’m in control of the 666, at the current moment.

  • @cara_melly
    @cara_melly 5 лет назад +1109

    “Do you have a slight limp in your right leg because you were struck by a tree?”
    **VIETNAM FLASHBACKS**

    • @doodboi7106
      @doodboi7106 5 лет назад +27

      **FORTUNE SON PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND INCESSANTLY**

    • @IsabruhMoment
      @IsabruhMoment 5 лет назад +16

      THE TREE WAS ASKING FOR IT

    • @skullman728
      @skullman728 5 лет назад +10

      CHARLIE IN THE TREES

    • @thomasnolastname8734
      @thomasnolastname8734 5 лет назад +9

      WAR
      *WAR NEVER CHANGES*

    • @kartoffel112
      @kartoffel112 5 лет назад +3

      I hear the Hueys
      They are going to save us
      But f*** no there is a Grind

  • @salomedl
    @salomedl 4 года назад +2261

    “does your full name have 14 letters total?”
    me: *sweats in latinamerican*

    • @ashenamber2305
      @ashenamber2305 4 года назад +28

      hey at least it isnt a dumb name

    • @rileyd07
      @rileyd07 4 года назад +80

      @Barry Mcockiner she meant her real name is long because she is Latin American

    • @evilturtle6767
      @evilturtle6767 4 года назад +34

      (Conner from cyberlife) 28 LETTERS IN YOUR NAME

    • @felicitymarisol
      @felicitymarisol 4 года назад +1

      cries in 25 letters

    • @brenteeckhoudt4187
      @brenteeckhoudt4187 4 года назад +6

      14 here

  • @aidanaidan4773
    @aidanaidan4773 2 года назад +309

    most people see these as questions, i see a bucket list.

    • @autisticgooos
      @autisticgooos 2 года назад +6

      A true pioneer of thought this man is

    • @colemoore5007
      @colemoore5007 2 года назад +4

      Ah yes, acquire social security number 0

    • @cherri-sage
      @cherri-sage 2 года назад +3

      @@colemoore5007 I will do what I must, no matter the cost!

    • @aidanaidan4773
      @aidanaidan4773 2 года назад +2

      @@colemoore5007 watch me pal

    • @SplendidFellow
      @SplendidFellow 2 года назад

      Good luck with that tattoo I bet it'll be interesting

  • @subscribersWithoutavideo-jy8uf
    @subscribersWithoutavideo-jy8uf 4 года назад +1007

    *looks at my Dog named Horse*
    Me: We’re leaving..

    • @ishrimpfortheshark7428
      @ishrimpfortheshark7428 4 года назад +23

      I would like your comment but it has 69 likes so I am going to leave at that

    • @ishrimpfortheshark7428
      @ishrimpfortheshark7428 4 года назад +1

      @Riley Reyes how do you know who told you, Cause your right.

    • @Tom-vu1wr
      @Tom-vu1wr 4 года назад

      @@ishrimpfortheshark7428 420 likes from me. I hope this makes up for that

    • @Bonaparte_379
      @Bonaparte_379 4 года назад +2

      @Riley Reyes 78 dollars that's so specific wth

  • @jasminm9971
    @jasminm9971 5 лет назад +1911

    “Is metal your favorite music genre?”
    *headbangs aggressively*

  • @miszclz
    @miszclz 5 лет назад +760

    "Are you feeling tired?"
    Everyone at 3 am trying to sleep
    Yeaghh

  • @FragmentOffline
    @FragmentOffline 4 месяца назад +5

    3:02 I genuinely got so exited when he said this. IT ISSSSSSSSS 😭😭😭 nobody ever mentions it in a positive (or even neutral), light, outside of the community, and I am so very happy.
    Also, loved the Napster reference.

  • @joshuakilpatrick7824
    @joshuakilpatrick7824 4 года назад +4843

    "Are you an intellectual?"
    *Everyone:*
    *Me, an intellectual:* "Yes."

    • @e.6z1
      @e.6z1 4 года назад +75

      take my like and get this dad joke outta here!

    • @focalpoint._
      @focalpoint._ 4 года назад +56

      No no, it’s all wrong. You should say “I am very greatful of your act of asking if i, the person you are asking, is a person who is a more intelligent individual than most average persons. To answer that very good question indeed, my good acquaintance is that i am the type of person who will say... Of course.”

    • @randomspartanhoe4501
      @randomspartanhoe4501 4 года назад +8

      r/technicallytruth

    • @mataco7073
      @mataco7073 4 года назад +11

      @Sandosam ??? 5

    • @spicedmoonlight7703
      @spicedmoonlight7703 4 года назад +4

      here go ahead and have 666 likes-

  • @sensitivebb3592
    @sensitivebb3592 4 года назад +2148

    Rift: “it’s completely confidential”
    everyone in the comments: *let’s share answers*

    • @barkside3012
      @barkside3012 4 года назад

      you are dumb.

    • @sensitivebb3592
      @sensitivebb3592 4 года назад +41

      @@barkside3012 It’s clearly satire, I didn’t ask for your comment 🤗

    • @asher.222
      @asher.222 4 года назад +32

      Barkside bro u ok there-

    • @benguin5522
      @benguin5522 4 года назад +19

      @@barkside3012 you good man

    • @twistedanna9441
      @twistedanna9441 4 года назад +22

      @@barkside3012 who hurt you :|

  • @jchau_
    @jchau_ 5 лет назад +618

    Rift: do you have a soul?
    Me, a university student: I used to

    • @notaveragecr6041
      @notaveragecr6041 4 года назад +24

      Me a male nurse: I used to... *cries in endless work and risk of virus*

    • @BeanKatz
      @BeanKatz 4 года назад +9

      @@notaveragecr6041 I salute you, you brave soilders

    • @havynandabby
      @havynandabby 4 года назад

      We all used too

  • @mothmitchell7774
    @mothmitchell7774 3 года назад +14

    I come back to this video because the way he describes his actions as he does them when he asks “do you like this sound”, like saying that he is putting his clipboard down and leaving the pen open and all that makes me feel safe in a way

  • @alessandroboscheri7654
    @alessandroboscheri7654 5 лет назад +1334

    "Are you human" *RUclips algorithm starts sweating*

    • @SamiTheCreativeGenius
      @SamiTheCreativeGenius 5 лет назад +12

      @@darksu_yt3976 self promoting is only gonna drag your channel down.

    • @tamimyaseen6013
      @tamimyaseen6013 5 лет назад +5

      @@darksu_yt3976 no offense but self promoting is stupid and makes thehings worse

    • @ImJustDani
      @ImJustDani 5 лет назад +5

      BMC_DarkSu_ YT imagine being a fortnite channel that leeches off of other peoples videos asking for subscribers lmao.

    • @alessandroboscheri7654
      @alessandroboscheri7654 5 лет назад +4

      @@ImJustDani Sorry to break it to you but I never played Fortnite in general

    • @ImJustDani
      @ImJustDani 5 лет назад +2

      Killer The Chiller sorry to break it to you but that was directed to the other guy promoting as well as all the other messages.

  • @juanic7947
    @juanic7947 3 года назад +1012

    “Are you human?”
    “I must speak with my lawyer first to answer this question”

    • @dr.doctor9123
      @dr.doctor9123 2 года назад +19

      "I invoke the fifth 🤚"
      -Law by Mike

    • @elliotrex9167
      @elliotrex9167 2 года назад +12

      Hi I'm Saul Goodman, did you know that you have rights?

    • @blagoevski336
      @blagoevski336 2 года назад +4

      @@elliotrex9167 constitution says you do

    • @greativity0
      @greativity0 2 года назад +1

      @@blagoevski336 And so do i

    • @blagoevski336
      @blagoevski336 2 года назад

      @@greativity0 yup

  • @nightshine_
    @nightshine_ 5 лет назад +674

    "Are you ready?"
    "No."
    "**writes down** They are ready."

  • @dubloomcarried552
    @dubloomcarried552 2 года назад +19

    Some of these questions feel more like a psychic evaluation.
    "do you have an obsession with fire"
    well, that depends on what you're gonna do with that information, doc

  • @Scrffy
    @Scrffy 5 лет назад +2034

    Him: are you tired
    Me: *hasn't slept in 23 hours*
    No I'm fine

    • @yellowivy5846
      @yellowivy5846 5 лет назад +4

      Subscribe to me for no reason Pshhhh,weakling!Ive pulled 3 all nighters in a row!

    • @Tewemeh2ter
      @Tewemeh2ter 5 лет назад +6

      Yellow Ivy *dumbass sarcastic smiley voice*
      That’s fatal.

    • @xxpeachflowerxx4423
      @xxpeachflowerxx4423 5 лет назад +4

      Want me to call jesus to help you sleep

    • @SemihG22
      @SemihG22 5 лет назад +1

      Just 23? Pathetic

    • @thomasnolastname8734
      @thomasnolastname8734 5 лет назад +1

      What is sleep?

  • @jamesrollison1599
    @jamesrollison1599 6 лет назад +1368

    "can you play the violin?"
    *Well, I beat the devil once*

    • @adelaide2890
      @adelaide2890 6 лет назад +56

      James Rollison *Steve Rogers voice* I understood that reference!

    • @dannyboy6132
      @dannyboy6132 5 лет назад +53

      Heard about that were was it Georgia I think?

    • @brandonfield3993
      @brandonfield3993 5 лет назад +7

      He literally asked that right as I was reading your comment. That was weird haha 😂

    • @enuskosinua2133
      @enuskosinua2133 5 лет назад +6

      Dont wanna anger anyone or sound like an idiot or anything.. but could anyone explain me this thing? Just intrested :p

    • @cmae6
      @cmae6 5 лет назад +7

      Dolppi fry from futurama beat the devil with his own hands in one of the episodes to win back Lila

  • @rosmostdedicatedsoldier3187
    @rosmostdedicatedsoldier3187 5 лет назад +141

    “Can you run fast enough to run away from the police”
    “Well shit i did when I was 12”

  • @portcitypersona
    @portcitypersona 3 года назад +23

    I am so alone and lonely and in despair with depression. I just started trying out various ASMR's and I typed ASNR conversations because I need so bad to feel like someone cares. Thank you I enjoy this and subbed to your channel. I also enjoy the lightheartedness too. Though I cried but that's just me.

  • @alexanderpfeiffer9817
    @alexanderpfeiffer9817 5 лет назад +1466

    Him: Do you have a pet dog named horse?
    Me: No but I have a pet horse named dog.

  • @kendrajohnson4006
    @kendrajohnson4006 5 лет назад +1417

    “Did you eat a carrot today without peeling it?”
    Why...would I peel it?
    “Okay.”

    • @minethink1442
      @minethink1442 5 лет назад +103

      Peeling a carrot is completely normal bro

    • @death.9297
      @death.9297 5 лет назад +2

      Minethink 144 is it? XD

    • @minethink1442
      @minethink1442 5 лет назад +50

      @@death.9297 it's to clean them, carrots are grown in the ground, the ground is dirty.

    • @bambino9235
      @bambino9235 5 лет назад +42

      Minethink 144 i don’t peel my skin off when it’s dirty, i just wash it. See no reason the same can’t apply to carrots

    • @sakus2866
      @sakus2866 5 лет назад +11

      I peel carrots every time beafore I eat them

  • @jackhatch3444
    @jackhatch3444 5 лет назад +514

    Er: do you call earth your home?
    Me: No
    Er: ‘proceeds to write the Declaration of Independence’

  • @asianhero1034
    @asianhero1034 Год назад +25

    his voice is so clear even when whispering 😳

  • @justingonzales1820
    @justingonzales1820 6 лет назад +6033

    "Do you have a soul?"
    *Gingers start sweating profusely*

    • @dillonwiley9530
      @dillonwiley9530 6 лет назад +196

      Shit I’m caught

    • @lucbrisebois767
      @lucbrisebois767 6 лет назад +100

      That or the synthetic space Jews

    • @thomasmathias1667
      @thomasmathias1667 6 лет назад +19

      @@lucbrisebois767 or robot space pirates, whatever go fuck yourself

    • @vioricadragos5354
      @vioricadragos5354 6 лет назад +16

      Oh my soul îs gone for a long time... now it's just a deep void

    • @astro7884
      @astro7884 6 лет назад +40

      I’m a fellow ginger but find this funny 😂😂

  • @taragroves9083
    @taragroves9083 5 лет назад +1847

    him: "is your favourite colour quinacridone magenta"
    me, an intellectual: "I like blue"

  • @barkzr
    @barkzr 5 лет назад +3628

    "Are you human?"
    Jesus Christ: well yes but actually no

  • @commando_barrage501
    @commando_barrage501 3 года назад +51

    “Can you run fast enough to get away from the police.”
    Me: Depends

  • @CV20K
    @CV20K 3 года назад +891

    “Are you human?”
    *he’s onto me*

    • @toeragtoerag
      @toeragtoerag 3 года назад +3

      R u n

    • @alexissinclair
      @alexissinclair 3 года назад +2

      We gotta run or in my case fly!

    • @DRGONDO
      @DRGONDO 3 года назад +2

      or in my case just cry

    • @alexissinclair
      @alexissinclair 3 года назад

      @@DRGONDO no pls dont cry its ok come with me and we can watch some sponge bob

    • @thegrimneereaper6715
      @thegrimneereaper6715 3 года назад

      @@alexissinclair i know you weren't talking to me, but I'm down if you got some extra room

  • @carlycampbell96
    @carlycampbell96 5 лет назад +5642

    “Do you have an irrational fear of not having any milk in your fridge to dip your cookies in?”
    Well now I do, thanks uncle rift

  • @lucie5117
    @lucie5117 4 года назад +1172

    "Do you have a tattoo on your left calf of a one-legged Victorian high back chair in which sits a Men O' War jellyfish reading poetry to a group of maligned stalagmites which represents the ongoing struggle between parent and child as described in chapter 12 of her majesty's decree to the inhabitants of the intersanctum of the eternally finight thameltarians?"
    **HOW DID YOU KNOW?**

    • @AcidRiotGaming
      @AcidRiotGaming 3 года назад +21

      Tripped up on "finite" hehe

    • @LordZipThe3rd
      @LordZipThe3rd 3 года назад +1

      I KNOW RIGHT!!

    • @sig_enthusiast
      @sig_enthusiast 3 года назад +13

      I'm actually amazing how you didn't edit this but instead just memorised it instead

    • @LotFrat
      @LotFrat 3 года назад +4

      @@sig_enthusiast or maybe he did that on a PC

    • @frankastisk
      @frankastisk 3 года назад +5

      I was like "Omg I have two!!"

  • @dragonboss274
    @dragonboss274 2 года назад +12

    He seems so into it and joyful and it awesome and he came up with so many questions it’s amazing and his hairstyle is actually pretty damn cool

  • @nathanielhong9663
    @nathanielhong9663 5 лет назад +588

    "Were you born in the month of.... September?"
    Me: DO YOU REMEMBER? THE TWENTY FIRST NIGHT

  • @nickguziak5405
    @nickguziak5405 5 лет назад +505

    “You have a soul.”
    Me: *slams hand on table* DAMN HE’S GOOD

    • @dedxz2475
      @dedxz2475 5 лет назад +21

      Uh Chanka, Lord of the CIA, this is the fifth desk you broke this week Sir, may I remind you that we are having a uh, monetary deficit and we would love it if you could bring the maximum desk breaking to 2 per week. This is so our numbers could be a bit more manageable.

    • @N.atalia.-
      @N.atalia.- 3 года назад +1

      Hahah @Nick Guziak good one x'D Where is your surname from btw? Poland?

    • @nickguziak5405
      @nickguziak5405 3 года назад +1

      @@N.atalia.- yep

  • @gnomeboi3718
    @gnomeboi3718 5 лет назад +1340

    I’m genuinely thinking about getting that tattoo

    • @tuskwilliams716
      @tuskwilliams716 5 лет назад +27

      D o
      N o t

    • @goodguybjorn
      @goodguybjorn 5 лет назад +48

      Do
      It.
      Also, get this guy 69 likes. He needs it. 420 even better.

    • @Seven-lt6yi
      @Seven-lt6yi 5 лет назад +4

      I will not like this I respect whatevs gaming and refuse to like this comment

    • @sylasgarrett5364
      @sylasgarrett5364 5 лет назад +1

      Jack Williams why not

    • @shrewkit
      @shrewkit 5 лет назад +2

      Samee

  • @K0NG
    @K0NG 3 месяца назад +3

    I love how the subtle cut at 24:37 indicates Rift was thinking for so long he had to cut it out of the video

  • @jankohout2856
    @jankohout2856 5 лет назад +1355

    "Were you born on Monday?"
    Yeah... Just coincidence probably
    "In the afternoon?"
    Yeah... Wtf man...
    "At 2 pm?"
    I'm moving some place safe rift got me...

  • @misslyntheena
    @misslyntheena 4 года назад +3342

    Imagine being able to answer „yes“ to the tattoo question.

    • @SparglesCo
      @SparglesCo 3 года назад +136

      It will become so in time.

    • @jimmithy7570
      @jimmithy7570 3 года назад +106

      I feel bad for you all. He guessed it for me.

    • @chloe-roll
      @chloe-roll 3 года назад +74

      I'll be able to answer yes in 2 years

    • @7EVEN32-n5r
      @7EVEN32-n5r 3 года назад +19

      Someone will get it

    • @charlieisgay6567
      @charlieisgay6567 3 года назад +20

      @@chloe-roll i’ll be waiting here.

  • @marcushouse6436
    @marcushouse6436 5 лет назад +311

    I love how oddly specific these questions are

    • @shaileytrahan7320
      @shaileytrahan7320 5 лет назад +2

      Marcus House ikr I just got to the tattoo on the left calf😂😂

    • @Y4k3
      @Y4k3 5 лет назад

      I was expecting a normal video and question then do you have a tattoo of....

  • @WhatAmIDoing1818
    @WhatAmIDoing1818 3 года назад +44

    "are you ready"
    "Man I hope these get easier"
    "Are you comfertable"
    "Come on give me an easier one"
    "Are you tired"
    "Now that better be retorical why else am I here"
    "Are you human"
    "Oh come on back to the impossible ones"

  • @oliverkey1435
    @oliverkey1435 3 года назад +2175

    "Do you live on a street called 'street road'?"
    Yes...
    "Do you live in house number 47?"
    Yess...??
    "Is your room the 3rd bedroom?"
    Yes.......?!
    "Do you feel safe?"
    *Hears faint screaming outside an abandoned warehouse

    • @shocknaw
      @shocknaw 3 года назад +30

      *hears knocking*

    • @A.I.Mmusic
      @A.I.Mmusic 3 года назад +50

      And the “Do you feel safe?” Comes from the dark doorframe to your room.

    • @DerAlterFalter
      @DerAlterFalter 2 года назад +9

      @@A.I.Mmusic just hide under the bedcover

    • @oliverkey1435
      @oliverkey1435 2 года назад +7

      @Crack dealer I legit just looked behind me until I read this is fake XD

    • @Shy-RG
      @Shy-RG 2 года назад

      @Crack dealer lmao

  • @coltonhurlbrink3659
    @coltonhurlbrink3659 3 года назад +624

    My favorite quote:
    “Can you run faster than the police?”

    • @nagitokomeada9817
      @nagitokomeada9817 3 года назад +22

      Let's test that

    • @woodlanddove
      @woodlanddove 3 года назад +17

      @@nagitokomeada9817 *Welcome back to good Mythical Morning!*

    • @YourPalSozzivix
      @YourPalSozzivix 3 года назад +5

      17:15

    • @47fr121
      @47fr121 3 года назад +2

      I feel like this is an interview

    • @shadowtheace9166
      @shadowtheace9166 2 года назад +1

      You may be able to but can you out run duolingo

  • @zen-sq9jf
    @zen-sq9jf 4 года назад +276

    "Do you have a soul?"
    Hades: many.

  • @cUnTTlol
    @cUnTTlol 2 года назад +6

    This is actualy the only asmr video that puts me to sleep anymore.

  • @Toxeed
    @Toxeed 5 лет назад +1454

    Can we just respect the amazing camera quality

    • @ilikeyourfunnywordsmagicma8328
      @ilikeyourfunnywordsmagicma8328 5 лет назад +11

      So good you could even ee his sweat

    • @ghostlord2110
      @ghostlord2110 5 лет назад +10

      A *LOT* better than pewds

    • @Vylo44
      @Vylo44 5 лет назад +5

      Yeah I mean 4real.... u can see every crease in his skin.

    • @skink04
      @skink04 4 года назад +1

      Can we just no

    • @huntterra
      @huntterra 3 года назад +5

      in all my years of existence, never would i have expected to find my go-to plane crazy tutorial guy in a completely unrelated ASMR video's comment section. tis a small world

  • @oscollective
    @oscollective 4 года назад +539

    Alternate title: "Psychic fails final exam whist casually trying to steal your identity".

    • @paperbag6310
      @paperbag6310 4 года назад +3

      Oooo that's a good one 🤣👌

    • @elk1827
      @elk1827 3 года назад +1

      *whilst?

  • @darknight9886
    @darknight9886 5 лет назад +922

    "Do you swallow your gum after you finish chewing it"
    I heard something a little different

  • @Grayskull317
    @Grayskull317 9 месяцев назад +9

    "Do you have a tattoo on your left leg of a one legged victorian high back chair where sits a jellyfish reading poetry to a group of maline stalagmites which represents the ongoing struggle between parent and child as described in chapter 12 of her majestys decript of the inhabitents of the inner sanctum of the eternally finite thaumaltariums" *me sweating* uh......yes

  • @charmer_
    @charmer_ 4 года назад +434

    all the traits that he mentioned would make a pretty cool character

    • @drewhowlett4245
      @drewhowlett4245 4 года назад +21

      @perla *pulls out a pen and paper in character designer*

    • @drewhowlett4245
      @drewhowlett4245 4 года назад +2

      @Jimaroc hell yeah it is

    • @iamkrazy19
      @iamkrazy19 4 года назад

      69th like, thought I should mention

  • @Caucasian_sensation17
    @Caucasian_sensation17 5 лет назад +1352

    What I kinda wish happened
    "Do you like this sound"
    * Screams *

    • @haztetv7226
      @haztetv7226 5 лет назад +11

      Logan Broxson laying beneth my covers, and kek’d at this comment, thank you

    • @adrianshilling1878
      @adrianshilling1878 5 лет назад +3

      And you have you head set all the way up lol

    • @Newgodofwar
      @Newgodofwar 5 лет назад +3

      RIP headphone users.

    • @dylanmcfiggins5816
      @dylanmcfiggins5816 5 лет назад +4

      i want that to happen in a ASMR video. just in the middle of the video they scream just out of nowhere.
      Just stilling there relaxing. and then... ( *SCREAMS* ) :-P

    • @UniverseCorn
      @UniverseCorn 5 лет назад

      Hazte TV im literally doing the same thing

  • @coffeebean8233
    @coffeebean8233 3 года назад +1137

    I like answering back with even more absurd answers while being completely unshocked by his questions.

    • @gilles466
      @gilles466 3 года назад +88

      Him : Do you have a soul?
      Me : I think I left it in the fridge at my old house

    • @Eliminator_Grim7
      @Eliminator_Grim7 3 года назад +64

      Him: Can you play the kazoo
      Me: no I play with the vocal cords of my passed victims

    • @zeke3746
      @zeke3746 3 года назад +20

      please continue this thread it’s making me giggle

    • @BlackBarackObama
      @BlackBarackObama 3 года назад +2

      @@zeke3746 dp yp

    • @musewolfman
      @musewolfman 3 года назад +31

      Him: do you own two belts? One is black, the other is brown.
      Me: I own 7 belts. 2 black, 3 khaki, 1 gray, and one purple with rhinestones.

  • @Firehawk63
    @Firehawk63 Год назад +5

    You need to do more shoe tapping it was HEAVENLY😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

  • @Iggypop-th5qs
    @Iggypop-th5qs 6 лет назад +293

    02:36
    Mark Zuccerberg: *sweats profusely*

    • @saintpansy
      @saintpansy 5 лет назад +3

      Iggypop4200 *sweats profusely*

    • @Roorb
      @Roorb 5 лет назад +1

      @@saintpansy *pweats srofusely*

    • @cyn1103
      @cyn1103 5 лет назад +4

      @@Roorb my high ass self just read that in scoobies voice

    • @mrtjm1152
      @mrtjm1152 5 лет назад

      Sweats coolant

    • @SlyShadow
      @SlyShadow 5 лет назад

      *epicly dies*

  • @cookieking725
    @cookieking725 5 лет назад +786

    What normal people write: yes
    What this intellectual writes: according to the answer I have collected from my client, the solution to this dilemma is that this gentleman has a favorite flavor, which being the flavor of birthday cake.

    • @wynn6240
      @wynn6240 5 лет назад +46

      When you really want to get everything out of your law degree

    • @elhyper4232
      @elhyper4232 5 лет назад +2

      Wat

    • @trollbas6850
      @trollbas6850 5 лет назад +18

      My language arts teacher be like

    • @kao7ic13
      @kao7ic13 5 лет назад

      My answer NO!!!

    • @saff1257
      @saff1257 5 лет назад

      it wasn’t necessarily birthday cake you unintellectual

  • @elijahg4839
    @elijahg4839 5 лет назад +413

    “Do you play the kazoo?”
    Kazoo Kid: Starts to sweat intensely

  • @Ray-dl5mp
    @Ray-dl5mp 2 года назад +2

    One of the best asmr videos ever. This and #2. There is something so calming about this structure.

  • @victormila-berg2423
    @victormila-berg2423 5 лет назад +268

    "Do you have a soul"
    Yes but actually no

  • @mateienciu8847
    @mateienciu8847 4 года назад +1508

    2:49 - My friend after I kill his Minecraft dog

  • @henrypinner1670
    @henrypinner1670 5 лет назад +340

    Somewhere out there there is a person who was born on a Monday at 2:03 pm

    • @TheMrriyadh07
      @TheMrriyadh07 5 лет назад +2

      Yeah me .. not really

    • @billie3014
      @billie3014 5 лет назад +5

      I was born on a Sunday at 2:04 pm 🤨

    • @Voxxna
      @Voxxna 5 лет назад +1

      Ninth of September at 15:57
      Or this:. 02-09/09 . The ninth of September 2002.

    • @waelo246
      @waelo246 5 лет назад +1

      10:47

    • @larslego3638
      @larslego3638 5 лет назад

      Motivat0r :5 me too but 9 hours earlier xD

  • @CelticLove98
    @CelticLove98 3 года назад +27

    “Are you human?”
    “Negative. I am a meat popsicle.”

  • @and_a_cask7277
    @and_a_cask7277 4 года назад +496

    "Are you tired?"
    Me at 2:16 a.m on a school night binge watching stranger things:.................Yes.

    • @ofeliaaaa
      @ofeliaaaa 3 года назад +4

      Dude, it's so relatable... I just watched whole series and i don't have anything else to do (except actually sleeping)

    • @chadhayes4945
      @chadhayes4945 3 года назад +5

      I just pulled up on this comment at precisely 2:16 AM.. Also, happens to be a school night... That's so freaky

    • @elenavazquez6574
      @elenavazquez6574 3 года назад +1

      Bro same I’m rewatching stranger things at 3 in the morning AGAIN

    • @thepizzatime3502
      @thepizzatime3502 3 года назад

      Soooo youre watching stranger things and answering asmr questions at the same time? you have issues

    • @rhwlol
      @rhwlol 3 года назад +1

      I watched like 20 min of stranger things (s1 ep1) until they got to a hallway in the laboratory thingy and got too scared and like 2 months ago my friend says haha yes let's watch strangers things together so we did and skipped to the same scene and i thought I could watch it but nah 2 seconds in i stopped watching

  • @danielgallo5634
    @danielgallo5634 4 года назад +3519

    “Are you human?”
    Me: Nah I’m Gay
    My sister: I thought you were American

  • @fortnite-lt8dv
    @fortnite-lt8dv 5 лет назад +316

    E.r: Do you own a dog?
    Me: *Snores*
    E.r: Ok, *pen tapping intensifies*

  • @vampy5071
    @vampy5071 3 года назад +7

    Erm actually.. 8:44 this really is my favourite colour 👀
    Always was my fav, i painted my bedroom this colour and put black vinyls up of crows flying and a tree with leaves blowing across the side of my wall

    • @Just_Another_Femboy
      @Just_Another_Femboy 2 года назад

      People probably think you're having a stroke when you say it

  • @philipkoch7570
    @philipkoch7570 4 года назад +598

    This could be an amazing drinking game.
    Everytime he guesses something about you right you drink.

    • @rachaelhopko2606
      @rachaelhopko2606 4 года назад +38

      I’m guessing no one would drink on the extremely specific tattoo question lol

    • @ForgetLily
      @ForgetLily 3 года назад +10

      @@rachaelhopko2606 I mean 3.3 mil views about 0.0002% chance

    • @Jjshort
      @Jjshort 3 года назад +7

      Lord farquad is dead

    • @avenlmfao
      @avenlmfao 2 года назад

      That one person who has most of them right would die

    • @APNifty
      @APNifty 2 года назад +3

      @@ForgetLily how did you get that number?

  • @phayes2222
    @phayes2222 6 лет назад +779

    02:37 "Are you human?"
    Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

  • @tacosauce6234
    @tacosauce6234 Год назад +8

    time to go get that tattoo specifically

  • @riles8435
    @riles8435 5 лет назад +590

    "Do you happen to live on a street named Street Road?"
    No, but I live on a road named Road Street.

    • @kassie2060
      @kassie2060 5 лет назад +10

      Just like that guy i saw on the road. Homeless

    • @PrincessTrunksBriefs
      @PrincessTrunksBriefs 5 лет назад +17

      Oh I live on Avenue Drive

    • @PrincessTrunksBriefs
      @PrincessTrunksBriefs 5 лет назад +16

      Nevermind just moved to Boulevard Circle

    • @zanx_02
      @zanx_02 5 лет назад +10

      @@PrincessTrunksBriefs bruh you actually updated this two months after posting the original XD

    • @PrincessTrunksBriefs
      @PrincessTrunksBriefs 5 лет назад +9

      @@zanx_02 Of course. It takes a while to settle into a new area.

  • @brodie3242
    @brodie3242 5 лет назад +1084

    Could you imagine how shook you would be if you actually had the tattoo he labelled 💀

    • @Pryslak
      @Pryslak 5 лет назад +4

      ZachTheBoss23 you literally look 12

    • @PrincessTrunksBriefs
      @PrincessTrunksBriefs 5 лет назад +37

      I don't wanna talk about it.

    • @gallimimus354
      @gallimimus354 5 лет назад +3

      yert

    • @ryanv1279
      @ryanv1279 4 года назад +21

      Wtf are these replies 😂😂😂

    • @board1666
      @board1666 4 года назад +2

      @@gallimimus354 nice username

  • @panflip
    @panflip 5 лет назад +613

    “When you where 12 years old did you happen to steal a candy bar from your local convenience store”
    me:(gulp) um yes
    My door:bang, bang, bang FBI open up

    • @panflip
      @panflip 5 лет назад +1

      What why does this have likes

    • @Tewemeh2ter
      @Tewemeh2ter 5 лет назад +4

      KGB, OPEN UP

    • @Ben-----
      @Ben----- 5 лет назад +4

      Me: *opens door" there's no one here
      My door: ha ha, gotcha! LOL
      Me: ha you're so funny door

    • @finalgenesis430
      @finalgenesis430 5 лет назад +1

      Fuck this is literally me...Oh Lord...Too real...But damn is it funny!😂

    • @ambernight2774
      @ambernight2774 5 лет назад +1

      Woah, your door can talk? That’s so cool bro

  • @amelia7960
    @amelia7960 2 года назад +6

    Him: "is your favourite number 39,074,211.8004435^8?"
    Me: *yes*

  • @eshketitwaller6175
    @eshketitwaller6175 5 лет назад +356

    ER: Do you have a soul?
    Me: *Questions existence*