Guessing Random Things About You #2 | ASMR

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  • Опубликовано: 21 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 3,1 тыс.

  • @WesleyPonZi
    @WesleyPonZi 5 лет назад +5119

    1:56 me at a multiple choice test i didn’t study for

  • @pepega6683
    @pepega6683 5 лет назад +4036

    ER : Is your birthday between januray 1st and december 31st
    Me : Show me your tricks wizard

    • @skrimp44
      @skrimp44 5 лет назад +135

      My birthday is on leap day so my birthday isn't between January 1st or December 31 except for every four years

    • @golden_xp_
      @golden_xp_ 4 года назад +76

      Mines December the 32nd

    • @garrett.c.j
      @garrett.c.j 4 года назад +27

      Giorno Giovanna dude that’s epic

    • @lycaneen
      @lycaneen 4 года назад +4

      I love how your pb fits

    • @occasionaluser
      @occasionaluser 4 года назад +8

      Yo I finally found xQc outside of stream

  • @charliemclean2421
    @charliemclean2421 5 лет назад +3937

    “Your favourite fruit is not a vegetable” I mean the man has his job for a reason

    • @gamerbros3431
      @gamerbros3431 4 года назад +9

      Are watermelons a vegetable?

    • @ChunkieBoi777
      @ChunkieBoi777 4 года назад +28

      Gamer Bros I’m pretty sure they’re berries, same for tomatoes

    • @schpeltora1667
      @schpeltora1667 4 года назад +12

      @@gamerbros3431 no because they have seeds

    • @markassbrownie214
      @markassbrownie214 4 года назад +4

      Schpeltora But bananas are considered berries and they have seeds.

    • @woodpecker2545
      @woodpecker2545 4 года назад +1

      Tomatoes are berries? All what school told me is a big lie ;-;

  • @styxshapeshifts
    @styxshapeshifts 5 лет назад +4669

    ER: “Are you here because you are running from the feds?”
    Me: *sweats in tax fraud*

  • @verena5613
    @verena5613 5 лет назад +1761

    It bothers me slightly that this isn't called a Guesstionnaire

    •  4 года назад +15

      Bruv

    • @kyleb5392
      @kyleb5392 4 года назад +11

      Gerald GERALDSON geez

    • @paulcarmi8130
      @paulcarmi8130 4 года назад +22

      Careful. Words like that are the reason "selfie" ended up in Webster

    • @perryerin
      @perryerin 4 года назад +16

      I was gonna like this, but it's got 420 likes and I can't be the one to ruin that

    • @johanngaming2956
      @johanngaming2956 4 года назад +3

      I was your 666th like!

  • @DCgames100
    @DCgames100 5 лет назад +736

    Him: "you were not born in the year 1729, no 1728"
    Me (born in 1729): well I'll be darned

  • @roland7799
    @roland7799 5 лет назад +3355

    ER:”Are you allergic to the sound of ‘yellow,?”
    Me: *sneezes*

  • @bashinblocks9423
    @bashinblocks9423 5 лет назад +1090

    *Captain America enters the room and sits in chair*
    “So, you can’t sleep again...”

    • @foamydamphalo149
      @foamydamphalo149 5 лет назад +19

      *Peter Parker in bed*
      "Yeah, wait didn't I fight with you and you said 'hey, New Queens, catch' and you Thor's hammer.

    • @sth02
      @sth02 5 лет назад +14

      I slept for 70 years, sir. Think I've had my fill.

    • @Killerbeast-hx5qp
      @Killerbeast-hx5qp 5 лет назад +4

      Lmao this should be on sleep for the sleepless 2

    • @aidansmith4381
      @aidansmith4381 5 лет назад

      LMAO

    • @frost.bytten2023
      @frost.bytten2023 5 лет назад

      @@sth02 yes.

  • @mydude7374
    @mydude7374 4 года назад +2649

    I love how we can't disagree with him so every question is right

    • @boopsboops7692
      @boopsboops7692 4 года назад +70

      I circumvent this by warping reality to personally tell him he’s wrong.

    • @boopsboops7692
      @boopsboops7692 4 года назад +48

      Note the fact that I don’t tell him specifically what is wrong and I don’t go back in time. I just appear

    • @cristianorozco9236
      @cristianorozco9236 4 года назад +5

      We?

    • @ShaqirMC
      @ShaqirMC 4 года назад +4

      Cloudy _ shut up bitch

    • @cristianorozco9236
      @cristianorozco9236 4 года назад +11

      5ud who the fuck was talking to you fucking pussy

  • @gref3983
    @gref3983 5 лет назад +1404

    “Let me guess, you were born in the year 1729”
    Captain James Cook: ...
    “Wait no, 1728”
    Captain James Cook: *WITCHCRAFT*

    • @gref3983
      @gref3983 5 лет назад +24

      This easily one of the most niche comments I have ever made, low key surprised even for 10 likes ahaha

    • @human6310
      @human6310 5 лет назад +9

      He said "YOU WERE NOT BORN"

    • @ignorantaussiegamers
      @ignorantaussiegamers 5 лет назад +5

      John Hunter: "OFF WITH HIS HEAD"

    • @ChuckNorrizHIM
      @ChuckNorrizHIM 5 лет назад

      Teacher?

    • @ChuckNorrizHIM
      @ChuckNorrizHIM 5 лет назад

      Or proactive googledian?

  • @Magii
    @Magii 5 лет назад +1634

    13:30 caught me off guard 😂

    • @JLawL
      @JLawL 5 лет назад +98

      He's said far worse in his videos xD

    • @tinysquid8786
      @tinysquid8786 5 лет назад +14

      same

    • @Motherlesstripod
      @Motherlesstripod 5 лет назад +83

      HAhA He SaId A SwEaR WoRd!!! Bitch stfu you moist toenail

    • @vraj-fj9oj
      @vraj-fj9oj 5 лет назад +34

      Yeah he went iggy manley mode at 13:30

    • @bretta.6926
      @bretta.6926 5 лет назад +11

      Demonetized lol

  • @henrihatch7429
    @henrihatch7429 4 года назад +605

    ER: "Let me guess, you're favorite dinosaur is..."
    Me: "He'll never guess"
    ER: "...Extinct"
    Me: "..."

    • @halleys.comett
      @halleys.comett 4 года назад +2

      Henri Brachiosaurus! Oh uh well uh yeah, extinct

    • @ObsidianSnake12
      @ObsidianSnake12 4 года назад

      Seriously what is it? Mine is Dromeosaurus

    • @boopsboops7692
      @boopsboops7692 4 года назад +2

      Chicken!

    • @alexhaworth757
      @alexhaworth757 3 года назад

      If it isn't longisquama - (or if you need an official dinosaur rather than a reptile, Troodon), then you are wrong

    • @thepizzatime3502
      @thepizzatime3502 3 года назад

      Well yeah hes not wrong

  • @evedaugherty
    @evedaugherty 5 лет назад +621

    Yes, as a matter of fact. My first name is *enduring silence*

  • @ozflores8774
    @ozflores8774 5 лет назад +756

    Me: In bed
    ER: Your favorite ice cream flavor is... Rocky Road
    Me: (Eyes shoot wide open) This man is a wizard

    • @sansdeltarune7510
      @sansdeltarune7510 5 лет назад +27

      Error 808
      Me: *locks door and closes windows*

    • @onceupxn
      @onceupxn 4 года назад +28

      You're a Blizzard, Harry!
      I'm A wHAt?
      You're a lizard, Harry...

    • @AutoSearPin
      @AutoSearPin 4 года назад +1

      It hit me that hard though

    • @mayat5735
      @mayat5735 4 года назад

      I fr did this I was like how tf...👀

    • @mr.catman6911
      @mr.catman6911 4 года назад +4

      Rocky road is for cowards, spicy ice cream is for real men

  • @yellostarr
    @yellostarr 4 года назад +362

    13:30 This is the funniest and most random thing I've ever heard on ER and i love it

    • @noodleboodle9750
      @noodleboodle9750 3 года назад +21

      But is motherfucker your favorite swear word?

    • @yellostarr
      @yellostarr 2 года назад +5

      @@noodleboodle9750 yes

    • @furbyslay4857
      @furbyslay4857 2 года назад +18

      HOW DOES THIS MAN KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE???

    • @kylejustkyle1976
      @kylejustkyle1976 2 года назад

      Motherfucker dude, that was funny

    • @kyleb.4384
      @kyleb.4384 2 года назад +14

      i think mine is "hope youre doing splen-fucking-tastic" with a dead face

  • @mountainbikingmemer8978
    @mountainbikingmemer8978 5 лет назад +3033

    ER: your favourite dinosaur Is extinct
    Me: WHAT KIND OF SORCERY IS THIS

  • @wikern7010
    @wikern7010 5 лет назад +611

    This is the type of video where you can make a meme out of every timestamp possible

    • @endermage77
      @endermage77 5 лет назад +8

      Okey
      Time to start a meme making train
      Here's your first stamp: 2:41

    • @cara_melly
      @cara_melly 5 лет назад +15

      Endermage77
      No one:
      Absolutely No one:
      Not a single living soul:
      Neurologists: “let’s just get your brain into the right state”

    • @cara_melly
      @cara_melly 5 лет назад +8

      Round 2:
      16:16

    • @jcers
      @jcers 5 лет назад +17

      Idek anymore
      Nobody:
      Indian “tech support” workers:

    • @XGh0sT77
      @XGh0sT77 5 лет назад +4

      Idek anymore
      Nobody:
      Me to my crush:

  • @xx_flanagan_xx6423
    @xx_flanagan_xx6423 2 года назад +190

    He starts guessing at 11:20 , you’re welcome

  • @panflip
    @panflip 5 лет назад +299

    Him: would you care for some clipboard sounds
    Me: if they needed me

    • @finn5286
      @finn5286 5 лет назад +6

      Rift: starts tapping on clipboard
      You: hoops da fuq u doin

  • @testedhawk
    @testedhawk 5 лет назад +2208

    Let me guess, someone stole your Sweetroll

    • @Sponker222
      @Sponker222 5 лет назад +47

      no lollygagging

    • @LittleShayman
      @LittleShayman 5 лет назад +61

      Stop that... shouting, it's making people nervous

    • @victorautor2942
      @victorautor2942 5 лет назад +50

      Ah, good old meme.
      Radom fact: "I got arrow to the knee" means "I've got married"

    • @ArwenLeigh
      @ArwenLeigh 5 лет назад +22

      Keep your hands to yourself sneak theif

    • @kalatalokuu
      @kalatalokuu 5 лет назад +10

      Old but gold

  • @goblinslayer310
    @goblinslayer310 5 лет назад +281

    when you close your eyes, you can see... nothing
    damn, i think he got us lads

    • @sophisticatedsheep8178
      @sophisticatedsheep8178 4 года назад +3

      What if I see people walking around when my eyes are closed
      (I'm serious about that why can I see people)

    • @madbird6338
      @madbird6338 4 года назад +7

      5 thousand subs with no Videos that is called augmentative allursivititative hemorrhage apostonations meaning that whenever you close your eyes you see people walking as if you are on a street the ways people contract that is by reading this entire complete bullshit thing I just said cause I made this all up hoping you would think it might be something legit at first have a nice day.

    • @grant4150
      @grant4150 4 года назад +3

      *NOT IF IM ON ACID*

    • @thepizzatime3502
      @thepizzatime3502 3 года назад

      @@sophisticatedsheep8178 did you snort glue again? Ugh im getting annoyed with having to tell you to stop so much

    • @tolidonorsometing
      @tolidonorsometing 2 года назад

      You can see the back of your eyelids

  • @randomguy7726
    @randomguy7726 5 лет назад +822

    The whole video is like this
    1."Let me guess"
    2.he guesses something
    3."okay"
    4.writes on the board

  • @andiemac0
    @andiemac0 5 лет назад +768

    Wait a minute! You're writing down all this personal info like government id, and birth dates. Are you actually a very very patient identity theif?

    • @Fortniteyeeayuh
      @Fortniteyeeayuh 5 лет назад +22

      He can be he has a large audience so he's taking down hundreds of thousands at a time

    • @cara_melly
      @cara_melly 5 лет назад +33

      Yes, he is. Do you not see all the different lives he lives in the Rift world... they are all the identities he stole. Including Cthulhu

    • @digiorniboy
      @digiorniboy 5 лет назад +10

      Idek anymore
      “Finally, I’m awake again! I can’t wait to see how society has evolved in my abscen-
      Frick, there goes my identity.”

    • @human6310
      @human6310 5 лет назад +2

      These comments would mak perefect sans ef thye wer'ent liek this comment.

    • @Extratyggis
      @Extratyggis 5 лет назад +4

      Dude i have littearly gotten into my friends email by trying to know as much as possible about em and guessing their password from that.
      Badabing badabom and you got yourself a felony

  • @blutooths6581
    @blutooths6581 5 лет назад +345

    21:42 "you seem a very complex interesting person"
    Me who only eats vanilla: mm hm

  • @ratboy2791
    @ratboy2791 5 лет назад +756

    I love how professionally he says "smencil"

    • @justthememelordsnextdoor9120
      @justthememelordsnextdoor9120 5 лет назад +6

      Cool Guy Syndrome 10 minutes later: HEY ITS SPENCIL

    • @lanel6099
      @lanel6099 5 лет назад +3

      Wtf is that profile pic 🤣

    • @RusticAlarm
      @RusticAlarm 5 лет назад +5

      Pensmell would have really fit...

    • @foopthehoop3103
      @foopthehoop3103 4 года назад

      Narutario it’s a Thomas the tank engine face

    • @AtomicBezerk
      @AtomicBezerk 4 года назад

      Foop The Hoop that’s angry Percy you uncultured swine

  • @bertsteinich
    @bertsteinich 5 лет назад +1727

    - Your favorite fruit is not a vegetable.
    - Oh, so close! My favorite fruit is actually an onion.

  • @livylou4039
    @livylou4039 4 года назад +158

    ER: Is the second number of your social security number...
    Me: Let me stop you right there.

  • @susgi2631
    @susgi2631 5 лет назад +783

    ER: “you are doing pretty darn good”
    me: *having war flashbacks*

    • @АнастасияЧевелева-о6и
      @АнастасияЧевелева-о6и 5 лет назад +12

      *Fortunate son plays*

    • @brubbo0435
      @brubbo0435 5 лет назад +5

      Holly shit its veitnom !

    • @barfer__
      @barfer__ 5 лет назад +4

      ender dude "vietnom"venom as a vietnam soldier or something?
      edit:veitnom noice

    • @brubbo0435
      @brubbo0435 5 лет назад

      @@barfer__ it was from a mini ladd video just makeing a joke

    • @barfer__
      @barfer__ 5 лет назад

      ender dude oh u know mini ladd well ok

  • @aaronbobby1682
    @aaronbobby1682 5 лет назад +267

    Wrong:23
    Right:34
    Yes I counted and it was hard to stay awake

  • @oceeeannstorm9850
    @oceeeannstorm9850 4 года назад +899

    Him: let me guess your a half glass... full...
    Me: wow your finally right.
    Him: of jelly beans
    Me: 👁👄👁

    • @boopsboops7692
      @boopsboops7692 4 года назад +3

      Is he wrong though?

    • @chinmustache6420
      @chinmustache6420 4 года назад

      I'd like to think I’m completely full. Half full of jellybeans, and half full of hot air

    • @F3yris
      @F3yris 4 года назад

      👁️💋👁️

    • @dr_climate
      @dr_climate 3 года назад

      Uh Oh Yro'ue

    • @mangoman1096
      @mangoman1096 2 года назад +1

      @@chinmustache6420 half filled of jelly beans
      Half filled with my vomit

  • @Wassup-ie4xz
    @Wassup-ie4xz 5 лет назад +147

    I don't know why but I really love this kind of asmr videos

  • @benjaminduperreault4447
    @benjaminduperreault4447 5 лет назад +824

    If you really want to fall asleep, take a shot every time he says "Let me guess"

    • @chickennugget8968
      @chickennugget8968 5 лет назад +31

      I did more than fall asleep. This is his spirit talking.

    • @fi3ndzzzx748
      @fi3ndzzzx748 5 лет назад +10

      Chicken Nugget so chicken nuggets have spirits 🤔

    • @chickennugget8968
      @chickennugget8968 5 лет назад +14

      Fi3ndzzz x Oh yeah. Every time one of you hoomans eats us, a little spirit is freed from sits mortal shell.

    • @fi3ndzzzx748
      @fi3ndzzzx748 5 лет назад +6

      Chicken Nugget never knew that nuggert man sorry :(

    • @ecksdee9260
      @ecksdee9260 5 лет назад

      Sodj his is whayt is lyike to bee drounk

  • @cwderton
    @cwderton 4 года назад +451

    ER: Let me guess, your home?
    It was and it was beautiful.

    • @sowfy9773
      @sowfy9773 4 года назад

      😂

    • @ItsLiamItsThomas
      @ItsLiamItsThomas 4 года назад

      Man I thought the same thing every time I heard him say let me guess😂

    • @Shummi_
      @Shummi_ 4 года назад +3

      *Godzilla had a stroke reading your comment.*

    • @leahmagee5220
      @leahmagee5220 3 года назад +4

      Did they call you a madman too by any chance?

    • @ReturnMonke
      @ReturnMonke 3 года назад

      Ee: let me guess how you look umm you have a nose, teeth,hair,and eyes oh wait i got it right

  • @normanreviewsgames698
    @normanreviewsgames698 5 лет назад +844

    "I got my degree in guessing." Sociology then?

  • @RylaDarkstar
    @RylaDarkstar 5 лет назад +97

    that pencil in the case sound, is literally amazing.

    • @raccban
      @raccban 5 лет назад +6

      Excuse me? It's *smencil*

  • @thomasnolastname8734
    @thomasnolastname8734 5 лет назад +100

    "Are you allergic to the sound of yellow?"
    Me: No I'm allergic to The Sound Of Silence

  • @NightWhispererASMR
    @NightWhispererASMR 5 лет назад +454

    The first one “you are doing pretty darn good?”
    Well yeah, I’m watching the rift right now! 🔥🔥😊

    • @Punkanova
      @Punkanova 5 лет назад +4

      Bearded Whisperer ASMR honestly it made me think about all the things I’m grateful for and why I should be feeling pretty darn good. 👌🏻

    • @manmanley988
      @manmanley988 5 лет назад

      420 likes lmao

  • @massineben7198
    @massineben7198 5 лет назад +405

    0:29 ER:you are doing pretty darn good
    Me: Yeah... I guess I am doing fine?
    Narrator: But he wasn't even doing fine.

  • @andrewf7126
    @andrewf7126 4 года назад +96

    Ephemeral: "Your favorite video game is..... your favorite video game"
    Me: "YESS!! Damn your good!"

  • @mdkaff
    @mdkaff 5 лет назад +97

    ah i'm so rela-- wait did he just say "sound of yellow"?

  • @vraj-fj9oj
    @vraj-fj9oj 5 лет назад +509

    Rift should have been a part of the avengers.. He would have guessed Dr Strange's 1 in 14 million outcome.. 😎

  • @charley3994
    @charley3994 5 лет назад +413

    E.r "Let me guess you've given up hope that"
    Me: "Half life 3. That's never gonna be a thing."
    E.r. "Half life 3 will ever come out."
    Me: pauses video to casually panic then resumes video.

    • @smallcheesebread6531
      @smallcheesebread6531 4 года назад +17

      Good news! You are wrong!

    • @georgekhidasheli4161
      @georgekhidasheli4161 4 года назад +12

      small cheese bread technically it’s not Half Life 3, and its a vr game unfortunately.

    • @smallcheesebread6531
      @smallcheesebread6531 4 года назад +10

      @@georgekhidasheli4161 yes "technically" it is. Valve stated it's the prequel to the saga, meaning 3.

    • @Mr.Scott86
      @Mr.Scott86 4 года назад

      @@smallcheesebread6531 not really, it's a prequel but it's not titled half life 3 so therefore...

    • @smallcheesebread6531
      @smallcheesebread6531 4 года назад

      @@Mr.Scott86 prequel means a third of something my man

  • @dominiktancos7245
    @dominiktancos7245 5 лет назад +588

    11:33 are u here because
    Me:trying to sleep
    Rift: ur running from the Feds
    Me: that works to

  • @vanner1198
    @vanner1198 5 лет назад +56

    i never thought an amsr video would make me laught but those first 3 questions made me chuckle

  • @felpswhy1653
    @felpswhy1653 5 лет назад +90

    ER: Your favorite videogame is your favorite videogame
    Me: WITCHCRAFT!!!

  • @samuelmunoz6822
    @samuelmunoz6822 5 лет назад +323

    Rift's Son:Dad,why do you want to take my pencils???
    Rift:.........For Job

    • @DragonFang409
      @DragonFang409 5 лет назад +1

      TheSparkyWriter It makes it very professional

    • @domino5715
      @domino5715 5 лет назад

      This is translated i assume

    • @PredatorH2O
      @PredatorH2O 5 лет назад +5

      Rift's son: Dad ,why do you want to take my pencils?
      Rift:Well..
      Son: * cuts him off* Actually, let me guess......

    • @finn5286
      @finn5286 5 лет назад +1

      Son: dad i hear you whispering to yourself at night are you okay.
      Rift:...*in the corner sniffing root beer smencil*... Im doing darn good
      Son:is that my smencil?

  • @luke11306
    @luke11306 5 лет назад +244

    13:30 had me dyin with his straight face...

    • @aaaadzzzzz
      @aaaadzzzzz 4 года назад +2

      Overprotective Dad 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

    • @barnabusowl4252
      @barnabusowl4252 4 года назад +10

      Can’t believe nobody else commented about this

    • @emmajayde1334
      @emmajayde1334 4 года назад

      daddd stop following me around!

    • @jordyn7470
      @jordyn7470 4 года назад

      Overprotective Dad I was temped to yell yes when he said that

    • @alextheturkey5695
      @alextheturkey5695 4 года назад

      @@emmajayde1334 ......what

  • @norahg3416
    @norahg3416 5 лет назад +372

    "you are doing pretty darn good"
    "no"
    "am i right?"
    "no"
    "i guessed right?"
    "i said no."

    • @cuboider-rclv2585
      @cuboider-rclv2585 4 года назад +20

      "See?, I told you, professional guesser."

    • @FeIine_D
      @FeIine_D 4 года назад +10

      I just shrugged and went "I don't know"
      I'm the embodiment of Indecisiveness

    • @Ast3r_0id
      @Ast3r_0id 4 года назад +3

      Literally what I said lol

    • @bisexualbitch7335
      @bisexualbitch7335 4 года назад +3

      Me, having posted a photo of me crying to instagram only a few hours ago to let ppl know im not okay while also definetly not wanting to communicate: i guess im doing...good

    • @austinmaxwell5069
      @austinmaxwell5069 3 года назад +1

      Sounds like what people would do with Dora
      Are you happy?
      (Me internally dying) no I want death
      I'm glad to hear your happy
      😑

  • @デニス-i6u
    @デニス-i6u 5 лет назад +431

    20:39 Let me guess: "When you close your eyes, you can see ...
    ...nothing."
    Me: loool right

    • @nothingatall7943
      @nothingatall7943 5 лет назад +7

      HAHA IM BLIND SO I WIN HAHAHhahah....... *cries*

    • @westa8427
      @westa8427 5 лет назад +6

      Well, but nothing is also a thing, because you can define it, so it actually exists, but only in your mind as abstraction and it still haven't been found in reality. When you close your eyes you see a black screen, but that black screen is actually a thing. Change my mind.

    • @sylvieshuu
      @sylvieshuu 5 лет назад +2

      Well I mean technically when you close your eyes you just see the back of your eyelids- _random crap nobody asked for okay I'll leave now_

    • @westa8427
      @westa8427 5 лет назад +1

      @@sylvieshuu True. I'm a beginner in English so didn't knew how to say.
      Btw, how's life goin?

    • @sylvieshuu
      @sylvieshuu 5 лет назад

      @@westa8427 Good good, how about you?

  • @godwinbalansag3384
    @godwinbalansag3384 5 лет назад +2256

    ER:Let me guess, your home?
    Me:It was, and it was beautiful
    Edit: To those bitching that I should've used "you're" instead of "your". I am just sticking to the original srcipt, all right?

    • @ludovicocontri1539
      @ludovicocontri1539 5 лет назад +123

      They will call you a madman

    • @Bananazu2411
      @Bananazu2411 5 лет назад +81

      At least it was before I f*ucked everything up.

    • @cornmoss638
      @cornmoss638 5 лет назад +4

      Lol

    • @aunbomb
      @aunbomb 5 лет назад +43

      @@Bananazu2411 thanos in endgame : aw shit, here we go again

    • @henrybadger785
      @henrybadger785 5 лет назад +16

      Godwin Balansag *Titan was like most planets...*

  • @d4v32
    @d4v32 4 года назад +39

    "Let me guess, you like your Hamburger with Tomato but without pickles or onions"
    If he did a lil switcheridoo he might have gotten me there

  • @welshie3659
    @welshie3659 5 лет назад +3039

    ER: Let me guess...
    Are You Allergic to...
    Me: Nuts... He's gonna say nuts....
    ER:......
    Me: NUTS!
    ER: ThE SoUnD oF YeLlOw...
    Me: ......?
    (15:45)

  • @kraftingdinner2183
    @kraftingdinner2183 5 лет назад +31

    That wholesome smile at the start just made my whole day after dealing with a lot of crap. Thanks for that.

  • @roninswicked
    @roninswicked 5 лет назад +210

    Rift: How are you doing?-
    Me: Terribly
    Rift: Ah I know-
    Me: Rift no you don't
    Rift: You are doing-
    Me: Rift you're gonna be wrong
    Rift: Pretty darn good
    Me: Rift my family was murdered by the Zodiac Killer and my dog got tetanus from sniffing a rusty screw and my fucking leg hair is tangled and you now speak for me my individuality was stolen from me by you how could you betray me, then you started tapping on your clipboard Rift please your schizophrenia is getting bad you need to take your medication you stepped on your gold fish while it was in the tank and thought it was a pine cone in a forest please Rift just take your medication

  • @T_Boyd2122
    @T_Boyd2122 5 лет назад +192

    “Are you here because you are running from the feds”
    Again I plead the fifth

    • @Lu_phonics
      @Lu_phonics 5 лет назад

      You are very evil

    • @sen-station
      @sen-station 5 лет назад

      a..again

    • @Alex-928
      @Alex-928 4 года назад

      I remember you from another video

    • @Alex-928
      @Alex-928 4 года назад

      Your this candy bar guy

    • @grant4150
      @grant4150 4 года назад

      @@sen-station yes, again

  • @legalkarma
    @legalkarma 5 лет назад +570

    Mom: what degree are you gonna get?
    Me:
    *My guessing degree*

    • @dylantaslim7806
      @dylantaslim7806 5 лет назад +12

      In resumé:'I specialize in hypothetical situations of luck that involve choices.'

    • @boopsboops7692
      @boopsboops7692 4 года назад +1

      I guessed you would say that

    • @hamsnadwich6767
      @hamsnadwich6767 4 года назад

      I found a good collage too mom

    • @lavvinia855
      @lavvinia855 3 года назад

      porrakkkkkkkk

  • @Kn1feShift
    @Kn1feShift 4 года назад +106

    "you are doing pretty darn good, am i right?"
    me, with an awful sleep schedule and depression: *no*

    • @mangoman1096
      @mangoman1096 2 года назад +3

      How you doing now? Hope it’s good.

    • @IvyLovesDrxy
      @IvyLovesDrxy 2 года назад +1

      @@mangoman1096 did he just go offline for this whole time?

    • @mangoman1096
      @mangoman1096 2 года назад +2

      @@IvyLovesDrxy i don’t believe so.

    • @itscc2004
      @itscc2004 2 года назад +2

      Hey dude…it’s been a while, are you doing better?

    • @mill4711
      @mill4711 Год назад +1

      I hope you're doing well now

  • @HaydenAlbarado
    @HaydenAlbarado 5 лет назад +394

    Rift- “Is your favorite swear word mother f**ker”
    Me- “It - it actually is, well mother f**ker”

    • @unwono
      @unwono 5 лет назад +49

      @Megan Rose tw-ee-t or c-rossai-nt?

    • @trintle4219
      @trintle4219 5 лет назад +13

      This is the internet, why the fuck are you censoring "fuck"?

    • @Romeo_da_Black_Rose_59
      @Romeo_da_Black_Rose_59 5 лет назад

      Fudge nuggets and crispy chicken how did he know

    • @irodsalt6490
      @irodsalt6490 5 лет назад

      @@trintle4219 I know right now we got wtf. What are you saying Wednesday Thursday Friday or what the fuck

    • @jiji7017
      @jiji7017 5 лет назад +1

      Me being French it's put🅰️in

  • @Adam-we9ww
    @Adam-we9ww 5 лет назад +58

    *FBI in the corner of the room*
    You got the information yet?

  •  4 года назад +39

    ER : lemme guess...when you close your eyes ... you can see...
    Me : he's not gonna guess
    ER : N O T H I N G
    Me : holy crap this man is a wizard

  • @edenofEVE4423
    @edenofEVE4423 5 лет назад +135

    him: "are you allergic to the sound yellow?"
    me: *disgusted with the brightness of the color* "y Es"

    • @JSoucy21
      @JSoucy21 5 лет назад +1

      I read the "me:" sections vocal response in the tone Dane Cook uses to impersonate a speak n' spell.

    • @dingleberry8978
      @dingleberry8978 4 года назад +2

      You tried way to hard on this comment

    • @halleys.comett
      @halleys.comett 4 года назад

      Oohhh so edgyyy

    • @PeppermintSpikes
      @PeppermintSpikes 4 года назад

      Me, who is also sometimes disgusted by yellow, orange and red: :o

    • @jacobsmith7292
      @jacobsmith7292 3 года назад

      The visuality of the color is not relevant he was asking about the sound

  • @LukeSutherland.
    @LukeSutherland. 5 лет назад +74

    Yes I am very allergic to the sound of yellow, how did you know?

    • @TheRealReaper93
      @TheRealReaper93 5 лет назад

      *h-how could you tell?

    • @IsabruhMoment
      @IsabruhMoment 5 лет назад +1

      Goddamn it my sinuses are acting up now

    • @corbanoT.V.
      @corbanoT.V. 5 лет назад +1

      I’m allergic to the smell of human fear. (That’s why I never go to haunted houses)

  • @brunbrunnn4318
    @brunbrunnn4318 5 лет назад +29

    *gets through high school*
    life: 3:38

  • @yeetyeet8636
    @yeetyeet8636 5 лет назад +33

    Quality content as always ☺ You're one of the best ASMRrtists out there, thanks for doing what you do.

  • @-xterminator2-280
    @-xterminator2-280 5 лет назад +2991

    let me guess: you are watching this video.

  • @prytz5911
    @prytz5911 2 года назад +22

    "you are doing pretty darn good, am i right?"
    after losing my pet turtle: hell yeah better than ever bro

  • @leokeatonn
    @leokeatonn 5 лет назад +5

    You known I've been watching you for about four years now and you have never failed to deliver amazing and funny/interesting content. Earlier this year and a little in the past few months , i've been having some bad anxiety and I don't think I would have gotten through it without your help. So I wanted to thank you for the amazing content that has helped me stay grounded to reality.
    I think the reason why I enjoy your content so much is because you give off this "cool uncle rift" vibe that is oddly comforting and familiar, I'd if I'm the only one who gets this but it's a very comforting feeling.

  • @jmelara324
    @jmelara324 5 лет назад +184

    ER: You are doingggg?.....
    me: Gosh I’m beat, I’m depressed, everything is just s-
    ER: I know! Pretty darn good!
    me: Dude.... okay.

  • @bladebeast4182
    @bladebeast4182 3 года назад +3

    This guys got me on the relax, sleeping, being chill.

  • @sonnyasmr7143
    @sonnyasmr7143 5 лет назад +143

    Wrong from the start rift. I’m not doing that well, I’m living in the 9 circles of hell to be perfectly honest.

    • @julialopez4872
      @julialopez4872 5 лет назад +2

      Well, me too \o/

    • @bobik_xD
      @bobik_xD 5 лет назад +4

      Are you trying to say you have a problem with weight?

    • @ChuckNorrizHIM
      @ChuckNorrizHIM 5 лет назад

      By golly you go deep enough you'll find them here already in a very niche existence

    • @YourCitizen
      @YourCitizen 5 лет назад +2

      First time?

    • @thomasnolastname8734
      @thomasnolastname8734 5 лет назад +1

      If you ever have a chance, come see me; I'll be on the giant throne in the ninth circle 🙂

  • @Kjca_1998
    @Kjca_1998 5 лет назад +648

    *Whispering*
    “I’m guessing you have a huge Dong”
    “HA WRONG AGAIN SIR”

  • @TheOdyssei
    @TheOdyssei 5 лет назад +157

    Rift: Let me guess, you have four...
    Me: ...
    Rift: No... 2, nostrils.... In your nose.
    Me: ..Yes, that is correct!
    Me Later:
    *_Wait-_*

  • @konbust
    @konbust 5 лет назад +142

    ER: Let me guess. Your favorite Video Game is...
    Me: He might say a game i don't play.
    ER: Your favorite Video Game is your favorite Video Game
    Me: Seems Good Enough.

  • @dominiktancos7245
    @dominiktancos7245 5 лет назад +6

    I love how he puts everything in so much detail
    Rift: picking my clipboard up adding my paper making sure it's secure
    Like we don't need to know everything
    Luv the vids btw watched the first one like 20 times for sleep

  • @heartzfromari
    @heartzfromari 2 года назад +1

    Going through a lot and having some troubles with life but watching this video makes me 100% better. Thank you

    • @Lua0x07
      @Lua0x07 2 года назад

      roof over your head? food in your belly?

    • @heartzfromari
      @heartzfromari 2 года назад

      @@Lua0x07 ??

  • @jankmcdonald4340
    @jankmcdonald4340 5 лет назад +168

    Rift looking snazzy with that beard and man bun

    • @HaydenAlbarado
      @HaydenAlbarado 5 лет назад

      Jeff Jeffson fat bastard (peep your profile pic)

    • @presidentist1653
      @presidentist1653 5 лет назад +4

      @Kytrex r/whoosh

    • @dawazobrist5867
      @dawazobrist5867 5 лет назад +6

      @@presidentist1653 r/ihavereddit

    • @jessec.6101
      @jessec.6101 5 лет назад

      He's going for the look of the famous philosopher Alan Watts

    • @cosmicphoenix657
      @cosmicphoenix657 5 лет назад

      Ive only heard one person say snazzy and thats xCodeh

  • @ForgetfulHatter
    @ForgetfulHatter 5 лет назад +41

    4:13 that really is a good question where did scratch n sniff things go?
    i've an oddy well placed fond childhood memory of a typical fashion magazine and there was a page with scratch n sniff perfume samples.

    • @gallacorn6728
      @gallacorn6728 5 лет назад +2

      IKR
      I remember rubbing my neck against them hoping that it would work as a perfume 😂

    • @mokimo2615
      @mokimo2615 5 лет назад +2

      Back in 3rd grade there was always this kid with all of those pencils and everyone including themselves thought they where so cool. What happened?

    • @LoganAnimates_Official
      @LoganAnimates_Official Месяц назад

      I HAVE ONE OF THESE BUT ITS INSANELY OLD AND SMELLS TERRIBLE NOW

  • @redraiderb3136
    @redraiderb3136 4 года назад +6

    I don't even really like asmr but I could listen to this guy forever😂

  • @Crownslayer115
    @Crownslayer115 5 лет назад +42

    “You have given up hope for a Half Life part 3.”
    Whoa, he’s in my head!

  • @jellybellymikeb7938
    @jellybellymikeb7938 5 лет назад +11

    Favorite ASMR for sure. I need a part 3. Love these vids

    • @blanky5816
      @blanky5816 2 года назад +1

      ask and you shall receive my friend

  • @ya_boi_issac2153
    @ya_boi_issac2153 4 года назад +62

    Er: you are here because your running from the feds
    Me: takes 30 percs

  • @hannahmorris4923
    @hannahmorris4923 5 лет назад +45

    I used to get those smelly pencils all the time as a kid. I forgot about them until now. Thanks for the nostalgia rift! 👍

  • @endermage77
    @endermage77 5 лет назад +18

    3:50 *Smencils?!*
    I have no data on this pencil type. Never seen it before.

  • @mrstack7634
    @mrstack7634 2 года назад +2

    For any new veiwers if you are useing these vids for sleep i can guarantee that you wont be able to sleep without the smooth voice of a true master of ASMR

  • @vlax720
    @vlax720 5 лет назад +27

    ER: "you are doing pretty darn good"
    Me currently on fire: "eh I can't complain"

  • @oles9955
    @oles9955 5 лет назад +12

    I'm thankful for this nice and relaxing video. I like the guessing things about you a lot. Keep doing what you are doing.

  • @keinemachtdenschwaenzen
    @keinemachtdenschwaenzen 5 лет назад +17

    ER: there are cookie crumbs in your bed
    me, having freshly cleaned my bed and changed the bedsheets: excuse me WHAT

  • @meatballg8655
    @meatballg8655 5 лет назад +62

    Raiden: "something is wrong."
    Me: "let me guess, you need to consult the elder gods."

    • @___saint1095
      @___saint1095 5 лет назад

      Ha mk9

    • @SooperKaleBoo
      @SooperKaleBoo 5 лет назад

      @@___saint1095 mk11 actually

    • @Trev_Cruzfr
      @Trev_Cruzfr 5 лет назад +1

      Mk jokes in an ASMR. I’ve found my place😂

    • @PrincessTrunksBriefs
      @PrincessTrunksBriefs 5 лет назад

      @@SooperKaleBoo In the end of the MK11 story Raiden is no longer a god.

  • @-Khronos-
    @-Khronos- 5 лет назад +245

    Yea man, I'm doing good. Watching this and watching James Charles sub count drop. It's great.

    • @-Khronos-
      @-Khronos- 5 лет назад +6

      @@GreenGlo1991 It's something I could fall asleep to.

    • @redacted4373
      @redacted4373 5 лет назад +4

      Its so relaxing isn't it, waiting to see who can reach 10 million first!

    • @user-yn1gd7wn3w
      @user-yn1gd7wn3w 5 лет назад +2

      I want to ask where the profile pic is from but then again I don't...

    • @-Khronos-
      @-Khronos- 5 лет назад +2

      @@user-yn1gd7wn3w I mean I could give it to ya, but I don't know if you'd like it mate

    • @Sage-xr1on
      @Sage-xr1on 5 лет назад +1

      Can I get sauce on that profile pic. For research purposes of course

  • @cashwhitford4687
    @cashwhitford4687 5 лет назад +106

    I see a lot of comments
    None about how he is a lefty

    • @LS6272
      @LS6272 4 года назад +4

      Because it’s just not very interesting lol

    • @funkdungus839
      @funkdungus839 4 года назад +7

      @@andrastoth82 nah. wedding ring on his left hand, shirt buttoned left over right. unless hes wearing a ring on his other hand and a womens shirt

    • @isthisthefirsttime
      @isthisthefirsttime 4 года назад

      @@funkdungus839 genius 🤓

    • @LoganAnimates_Official
      @LoganAnimates_Official Месяц назад

      holy crap you’re right.
      *but he’s not*

  • @michaellewis880
    @michaellewis880 5 лет назад +34

    This man was later murdered by Corvus, after it was discovered he stole his gloves.

  • @Hk_498
    @Hk_498 5 лет назад +46

    You know a surprisingly large amount about me, I’m kind of scared

  • @galacticgeek7188
    @galacticgeek7188 3 года назад +6

    13:30
    Did not expect that XD I burst out laughing at 2am

  • @nightshine_
    @nightshine_ 5 лет назад +51

    ER: "You are feeling... Pretty darn good. Am I right?"
    Me: "I'm sick right now, so no."
    ER: "Yeah, I guessed right?"
    Me: "N-no."

  • @ArwenLeigh
    @ArwenLeigh 5 лет назад +15

    Not long into the video and I'm dosing, perfect. I personally would have gone for black cherry as Root beer smells like TCP, an antiseptic ointment over here in the UK.

    • @oosenagen9055
      @oosenagen9055 5 лет назад

      😣 bruuuuuh I'm sorry, root beer is such a staple here

  • @inter_stellar9830
    @inter_stellar9830 4 года назад +45

    "Is your favourite dinosaour............
    Extinct?"

  • @bluestar5391
    @bluestar5391 5 лет назад +8

    28:30
    Hey wait a minute! Aren't those corvus' family heirloom gloves?

  • @drewmende1823
    @drewmende1823 5 лет назад +36

    I just woke up, but welp, I guess I'm going back to sleep.

    • @jasp9661
      @jasp9661 5 лет назад +1

      Legend has it, he never woke up...

  • @unknownyoutuber8176
    @unknownyoutuber8176 4 года назад +7

    13:30. Thank me by liking this so more people can enjoy it.

  • @averynoir7810
    @averynoir7810 5 лет назад +28

    I literally could smell those pencils via nostalgia.
    (We used to collect them and see who had the biggest collection)

    • @mikeymiller5128
      @mikeymiller5128 5 лет назад

      PaintFreak 33 same! Legitimately smelt it and remembered all the ones I had