I’m a cis guy but my girlfriend is trans, I wouldn’t have it any other way. To me, I sometimes even forget she’s trans, cis, whatever, cause it doesn’t matter to me. I love her and nothing will change that.
this is so pure and wholesome i love it. I have no way of knowing, but i think my partner is the same way and trust me, that feeling makes us so happy. she's lucky to have you
When I came out as a trans man to my boyfriend (he's a cis man), I told him that he has a boyfriend now. To which he replied, "I've always had a boyfriend". Since that day, he's always proud to tell people about his boyfriend, even if he lives in the rural south lol
Год назад+25
I'm so glad to read this ! Stories are always about wife supporting their transitioning spouses but this is the first time I hear about a cis man supporting a ftm transition. i was really in need of reading this.
Married 18 years. I identified as a lesbian and my spouse transitioned after we got married - it was a bit hard at times but we walked together and are stronger than ever. We are partners in every way - each of us taking on tasks that we are good at. He is great at the laundry while I excel at fixing things. We say f*ck gender roles and his motto is "Masculinity is what you make it". (Although it took him a long time to get there). Meanwhile he has a full beard that makes his cis brothers jealous, and I have a husband that is empathetic and understanding for female issues :) support, patience, and lots and lots of talking
That sounds incredibly wholesome, I'm happy for you both! Please let me know if I'm overstepping, but how did you cope with this at the time, considering you identified as a lesbian? Were you attracted to him after his transition?
@luchirimoya it was a conscious choice to stay. In any relationship your partner will change as they age and grow. It wasn't easy, I won't lie, and we almost didn't make it for a while. But in any marriage you wake up and choose every day to love your partner. Mine changed a bit more than expected, but over the years I have changed too. I still see the eyes of the person I fell in love with all those years ago, behind wrinkles/ grey hairs / and an unexpected beard.
I’m a cis guy and I dated a trans guy a little while back, and it was one of the best relationships of my life. Even though things didn’t work out, I still think of him sometimes. He set a relationship gold standard for me
As someone who's trans and has a hard time not falling into the "I will never find someone" rabbit hole, stories and stuff like these makes me so happy that other trans people get to experience it and it gives me hope, I hope both you and him are doing well even if you aren't together anymore
@@tthemmefatalei hope u find someone soon!!! but you're a stay, so ig it will be ezr ppl tend to fall in love easier with someone with such a good and refined taste
Me during the pandemic: oh gosh, I think I might be gay, how will I tell my husband?? My wife with the most impeccable timing ever: I'm a woman Me: oh...well that's solves that We've never been happier
That's so beautiful! I'd like to believe that sometimes people can subconsciously see others for who they are, and a part of you were both waiting for the right time to be true to yourselves and each other ❤️
I will be forever grateful for my family who, when my partner came out as trans, said they love her like a daughter(she's mtf) and that she treats me better than any of my ex's have. We're getting married next year ❤ ☺️
Your family cares that you are happy. Having the experience of a truly loving family, makes it easier for people to recognize healthy relationships, and to find a truly loving partner. I’m happy for you!
My partner came out to me as trans after we'd been dating for about a year, and about half a year later I came out to them as being nonbinary - helping her express her true self helped me feel comfortable expressing mine. We both had our genders changed on our birth certificates, and when name changes happened we both changed our last names to the same name.
I was with my girlfriend for almost 5 years and then she decided one day out of the blue that she wanted a "real" man. We were engaged. We were supposed to get married in less than half a year.
I don't know how to express how sorry I am that that happened. What a horrific thing to do to somebody. Undermine their self hood while shattering their heart. Horrible. I hope you find/have found peace. And I hope she's realized what she lost in her search for an idea of "real" manhood.
I'm sorry that happened. She could have worded that better and not been so cruel. Hope you find someone perfect for you, that makes you feel loved and appreciated.
When I came out to my dad as transfemme, he told me of how he used to date a trans woman. Apparently, she was his favorite girlfriend over the years because she "felt more real than any of (his) other girlfriends." They ended the relationship on good terms because she was moving away. I wish I could've met Alyx. She seems like a good person. And yes, she chose her name because of Half Life.
As a trans boy, I can say that I actually find that T4T relationships are what's best for me, because my partner understands what I'm going through and we can help each other. Anyone can relate?
Personally, I relate. I've been with alot of cisgender people and when I started dating trans/nonbinary people like myself, I felt alot more comfortable
My fiancé and I met believing we were a pair of cis lesbian girls. Took us about four years before I realized I wasn’t and spent years questioning and figuring out my gender (non-binary, potentially some gender fluidity), and he took some time to think on himself after I came out, and came to realize he’s a very lovely trans man! 7 years into our relationship and we’re happier than ever.
I’ve just recently started dating a trans woman, and so far, the only adjustment I’ve had to make is that as a cis lesbian in my late 30s who’s never had to worry about birth control before, I had to figure it all out later in life compared to other cis women. Luckily, I have a very supportive family doctor who helped me navigate the whole thing, even reaching out to a compassionate care charity for my birth control of choice when my insurance didn’t cover it. My girlfriend is so lovely, and I’m so happy to have her in my life!
@@chrisbfreelanceAre all men who like pegging bisexual? No. Are lesbians who enjoy sex with strap-ons all bisexual? No. If she's a lesbian, she only likes women. Girl dick is still *girl.* Some people discover they are bisexual later in life, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. If she says she's a lesbian, she's a lesbian.
@@chrisbfreelance or a trans woman apparently. can't you read? it's said quite explicitly in the original comment. i don't understand why you're confused.
@chrisbfreelance Because I'm not. I'm a lesbian, and am only attracted to women. This includes trans women. I'm not attracted to men, including trans men. In fact, I've had the opportunity to sleep with men who I've found aesthetically attractive, but my libido very clearly went "nope, that's a dude". When I'm with my girlfriend, my libido goes "Pretty lady! 😍" Hope that helps.
My bf has been here for me when I was a girl and continued to be here for me through my gender confusion and realising I'm nb. He called me handsome and his bf recently, it feels so nice.
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I'm so glad to read this ! Stories are always about wife supporting their transitioning spouses but never about a man supporting a ftm transition. i was really in need of reading this.
Best of wishes on your journey! Focusing on oneself is always enlightening and rewarding in the end. Even if it can be difficult sometimes. Keep it up. You'll do great things. I believe in you. 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵🦖
Of course you will! True love is hard to find, but you being trans won't be a deterrent for the right person. I'm cis, but I'm saying this as a disabled woman who is still having issues accepting her disability and its implications... but has never had any problems when it comes to dating, and is happy in a long term relationship. You got this! The most important thing is that you love yourself
My first partner was a trans girl. She came out about 2 years into the relationship, and I remember she was near tears telling me because she thought I would break up with her since I thought I was gay at the time. I told her I didn't feel any different about her or our relationship, and she was actually the reason I came to realize I was bi.
I don't know if you'll see this Jamie, but I used to show your videos to my dad over 5 years ago to help him become more accepting. It slowly but surely worked and now YEARS later hes a fully fledged ally! On a much sweeter side note your videos opened up a whole world for me, helped me realize being a trans man was an option and even led to my mom asking if I was trans a week after I came out to some friends (dw it was a nice story). I have so many great memories of sitting in our living room and watching your videos with my mom. She sadly passed away this year but she loved your content and was the best mom any queer kid could've asked for (though I am a grown adult now and have been for awhile). Thank you for just being you and making all of the wonderful, and positive content you make! You have surely changed many lives for the better!
So sorry for your loss. May her love follow you everywhere you go. I’m so glad she got to truly see you before she passed :’’’) Also awesome to hear your dad’s come around and that you have good friends and all. Much love to you!
The day of my 1 year anniversary of coming out trans, my partner and I had gone to the zoo with friends of ours. I'd still been nervous about passing back then, especially since I hadn't been on HRT for very long. We ran into some coworkers of my partner and every time they would, without hesitation, introduce me as their girlfriend. Absolutely one of the best feelings of my life, and I can't wait till girlfriend, becomes wife.
@rcdune7132 that's never happening, thank you for your concern. I waited 33 years to be who I was always supposed to be, I'm not about to go back to that unhappy creature
We have been married for over 30 years (have a couple of kids and a half dozen grandchildren). About 5 years ago I came out as trans (ftm). My husband is cis and straight. Everyone asked if we would get divorced but there's no reason. I'm still the same person only less depressed and more hairy lol. My husband loves the person I am and I love him for being him. We've grown through the years never trying to change the other, while letting the other change and grow without fear of becoming unloved. The kids and grandkids had absolutely no problem with my transition. To them my husband is granpa 1 and I'm grandpa 2 or grandmapa.
Only less depressed and more hairy lol. This is the best comment I’ve seen so far. That sounds so wholesome. Thank you for sharing, and bless our trans elders
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I'm so glad to read this ! Stories are always about wife supporting their transitioning spouses but this is the first time I hear about a cis straight man supporting a ftm transition. i was really in need of reading this.
I'm an amab person and two years ago I started doubting my gender and identifying as non binary using all pronouns but in fact i never had the confidence to use different pronouns than he/him even if when my partner occasionally used she/her i would melt in joy. This summer i realised i am in fact a girl and, even if we broke up (we are still good friends), i felt the necessity to text them to say thanks for being supportive and helping me in my self discovery when even I wasn't able
My partner of 11 years recently left me because I am non binary. I came out to him 2 years ago, and we got married a year later. Now, he says it's "too much" and that I "trapped him". He says this now after just a month ago we celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary where we both expressed feeling the happiest we had ever been together. Very much needing the hope this video brings that someone will love me for who I am one day.
Fwiw, those quotes sound more like a mid-life crisis than anything to do with your gender. It's sadly common for people to start having complex feelings about their life choices and rather than deal with those feelings just...run away. Or blame them on someone else.
I know I'm just an internet stranger, but if your partner is unsupportive of who you are on a fundamental basis and refuses to change, that's not a healthy relationship.
I hope that either your partner changes their views soon or you'll have a quick and rather painless break-up. And I hope that you'll find an abundance of love and support in a new relationship.
I dated a transguy in my teens, he came out to me as trans a few months in and I bought him his first binder and paid for him to change his name on his 16th birthday (unsupportive family so had to wait until 16 so didn't need their permission). Nothing about the relationship changed other than I had a boyfriend and not a girlfriend
Sorry, how do you pay for someone to change their name? And how much does it cost? I'm a closeted trans guy so I feel like this might help me in the future.
@boss-fh6oz well in the UK you can change name via deedpoll, at the time it cost £12.50, so we went on the website he put in his chosen name as well as his dead name and I paid the bill at the end, I also had my mums friend officiate it because only certain people can do that and my mums friend was the mayor. I have no idea how it works in other countries, though
Crying because I've spent this AM looking for an engagement ring for my trans-masc partner. He's the love of my life. Now watching this video and I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him
To those who do sometimes feel like they can't be loved because they're trans, please know that that's not true! My husband helped me crack my egg after picking up on my dysphoria and chatting to me about it. He still loves me, but now I'm actually happier and feel safer in our own home. I can now communicate more clearly about how I'm feeling. And he makes sure every day to make sure I know he loves me. You are worthy of love, my friend. 💜 And if you see any hateful comments on this video, try to just scroll by and not let them ruin your day, because you are beautiful, loved, and worth so much more than transphobia. God bless!
12:53 A lesser known sexuality is demisexual which is when you are attracted to someone but only after you've developed an emotional bond with them. In situations like this, I think that's where the attraction comes from because they've developed a relationship where they connected in more ways than just physical.
As a cis/ace guy, that is a valid description... Although I'm currently sex-repulsed, I could see myself having a relationship with a trans woman. What is between your ears is far more important than what is between your legs!
Hello, person reading the comments! Did you know you are amazing? I am so proud of you! Whatever is going on in your life, remember, you've got this! You are so much stronger than you think! 🦕🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🦖
I feel SO much for these couples who are having a hard time with partner transitions. I recently divorced my spouse of 12+ years because I didn't think i could accept that I could no longer see the person i had married. I was afraid of change and of losing someone I loved. And now... I'm getting to see that same person happier than I've seen in the last decade. I can't believe I ever doubted it. She came out and is still the most beautiful person I've ever met. She is now my girlfriend 🩷 and I am thoroughly enjoying seeing her in a new light. I hope she feels the same.
So I’m non-binary my wife and our girlfriend are both trans and we are very happy. We all support and encourage each other to express ourselves as well as comfort each other when one of us is not ready for something.
I actually have a story relating to this. For context I am trans masculine (he/they) and my partner uses any pronouns. My partner was talking to a boy in one of their classes and I came up in conversation and they showed a picture of me and to him said that I was their boyfriend. Now this boy (I'll call him north) said that because of my biology they actually had a girlfriend, not a boyfriend. (I present very feminine and can't pass for shit) My best friend happened to overhear this and my friend and partner proceeded to absolutely tear into North about how he was transphobic and how I was their boyfriend and it just felt so amazing and affirming.
My wife and I are both trans. T4T is such an amazing situation for us. While we are an AMAB-AFAB, husband and wife with a whole bunch of kids, we appear to be a cookie-cutter middle class American family and we mostly are. Its amazing to have a partner who understands dysphoria on the same level and understands how to help you through that. That level of "i get it because ive experienced it" has been so wonderfully healing for both of us after coming outnand transitioning before meeting each other, we both experienced very painful ends to long that relationships that ended because we came out.
Both my partner and I are trans, and I couldn’t be more grateful. We’ve watched ourselves grow and change during all these time, and it has been amazing, it also makes it easier for us to understand each other.
I (34f) married my best friend two years ago, and they recently came out to me as trans (mtf). I love watching them trying new things (make-up and skirts) and being comfortable in their own skin. It's been an adjustment for me, and we both worry about how our families will react, but I'm excited for the future.
I had a friend who I liked. Like, a lot. I am a non-binary lesbian. When he came out ad trans, I started to question my sexuality, because realistically, he is the same person yk? But then he started to transition, both socially and medically and well. I am a lesbian. So I got over my crush real quick (thankfully it was one-sided tho) and now he is one of my best friends and we support each other a lot. Both lived in different conservative small-towns, so the support has been great. In February, we will both move to the same city!
The first story, even as a trans person, I had a hard time when my first partner was changing his pronouns and name (he was already out as trans when we met) and I was so frustrated with myself for feeling confused and having a hard time adjusting. He was trying out neo pronouns for a while and I just couldn’t wrap my head around it, and I’d beat myself up for not using the correct pronouns. Things got easier with that tho and he ended up going by he/they along with the neo pronouns.
I understand the unknown, my dad is trans (she's still okay with being called dad) and she's a completely differently person then she was, when she was a man she was angry and sometimes took it out on things around her (objects not people) she broke a laptop once's and throw a stool because it was in her way. But now she's really happy, she started joking around again and hasn't yelled or thrown anything in a year now, it's so wired to see how she is now vs how she used to be
@@redmage5251 if outsiders did, sure, if the supportive family members involved do? totally different story. That's not anyone's business to decide, and it sounds like they talked this through and can update if ever needed. It's similar to how for friends and family GET, like process and understand your transness, little things like that are less important. People who can't and won't, but also can't bother to even use a name correctly? Different territory. Sincerely, a trans NB.
@@redmage5251OP said their parent is okay with being called dad. That’s a fairly common practice of trans parents. If you’ve grown up with calling someone a certain name all their life, it’s only natural they will say that name even by accident. Especially with role names like “mom” and “dad” the child most likely already has someone occupying the role of “mom” so if OPs dad is okay with being called “dad” than it’s really not your place to tell them it’s wrong. That’s a decision they made together as a family. You don’t get to tell people how they should refer to each other. That’s between the people involved. It literally has nothing to do with you…
My boyfriend is cis, I am trans (ftm). We met four years after I started my transition, so I was already very secure in my identity, passed very well and had very little dysphoria. Still I was scared I would never find someone who could handle me being trans and expected I would always have to make compromises I would not feel comfortable with or die lonely and sad (this is my first romantic relationship). But he shattered my worries and has been so much more caring and understanding than I could ever have imagined. He loves me. Not in spite of being trans. He just loves me. And I love him. I will propose to him on December 20th, which is our three year anniversary :)
What a coincidence you two met on my birthday... 😮 Congrats on coming as far as you have, by the way. I wish you two nothing but the best even though we probably never met. 👍
When I came out as trans to my wife, she had trouble at first because she identified as straight and now she was married to a woman. She soon though came to the conclusion that I was the same person, and she still loved me. I came out during COVID and we made plans to go out as a same sex couple when it was safe to do so. Unfortunately her liver started having problems and her liver and kidneys ended up failing and she passed away before we could go out together.
As someone whose relationship went up in flames (to put it very, very lightly) the literal moment I realized I am trans, this was a bittersweet video to watch I'm incredibly envious of those who didn't lose their entire lives when their egg cracked. That being said, it warms my heart that there are compassionate and understanding people out there supporting my trans siblings Here's hoping as time goes on and trans people become more culturally accepted stories like this become more and more common If you have a partner that accepts and supports you, give them a hug for me ❤
When I had top surgery, I am told (I don't directly remember this because of the anesthesia) that I identified the three people who came with me as "my mom, my dad, and my girlfriend." Since then, two of those descriptions have changed. My moms have been together for over 30 years through more ups and downs than my partner of nearly 8 years and I can probably imagine, but transition has been an overall positive change for all of us and we're all a lot closer because of it. My partner and I are getting ready to move into an apartment together but we plan on visiting my moms regularly and inviting them over.
I am so unsure and scared of the steps that may be ahead of me. Watching your videos shows many facettes, normalized perviously 'weird' thoughts -I put thouse aside as 'wrong' in the past- and helped me to find a way to myself. I am not there yet, but it is becoming more clear to me. Thank you for taking away so much fear and guilt for just being different.
I'm just happy to see that there's people standing up for the trans transgender community and other communities. I am a sis male, but I grew up in the 80s, where I learned, it's best to live and let live. As long as you're not hurting anyone, who cares what you do, as long as it makes you happy. I also don't judge people for the same reason. Everyone walks in different shoes, and unless you walk a mile in those shoes, you have no idea what they are thinking or what they went through. So you do you, and I'll do i. And maybe we'll agree that we both deserve that have mutual respect for each other.
I realized I was queer when i was dating my first partner and one day she came to me and told me she feels like a girl. My first reaction was surprise, as you can imagine. I was scared i would lose feelings for her because i loved everything we did together and felt genuine connections and we had a good friendship beforehand. but i decided to stick it out to see what would happen. I found myself in love with a girl who felt happier to wear a girl's swimsuit and paint her nails and grow her hair out (I loved her curls!) and i found myself seeing things in stores and thinking "ooo should i get that for my girlfriend?" We walked hand in hand in school, confident and happy and (i asked beforehand if she was ok with this) I told everyone i loved my girlfriend soooo so much. It was middle school so it was obviously a surprise when a seemingly hetero couple suddenly turned out to be lesbian. I was proud to hold her hand, i was happy that we didnt fight over gender identity, but rather who got more chocolate from a croissant we split. We did eventually break up but we remain friends to this day and she looks STUNNING!! Im so proud of her and theres no awkwarness to our relationship, we're two friends who can chat and laugh and continue to fight over who got more chocolate from a croissant.
im cis, my gf is trans, i met her after she started (she is gonna start taking hrt in the follow months), i cannot explain how happy i feel when she tell me she feel like a woman around me sometime my sister is also trans and i also love her very much (im myself bi if you ask) edit : also, before meeting her i was very transphobic, i did arleady started becoming an ally when i was accepting my sister after like, a year of transition, but yeah , she really turned me into a proud ally
I was a homophobic transphobic person when I was a young teen, but by the time I was about 14-15, I figured out that WOW in fact queer people are not evil! A few months after I turned 16, I realized I was bi and then a year (ish) later I began going down the "maybe I'm a demigirl, oh maybe I'm nonbinary, oh I'm just a dude lmao" pipeline. Now I've been on T for like 4 months and tomorrow is my 2 month anniversary with my beautiful trans girlfriend, whom I love so much.
My boyfriend is trans and came out about a year into us dating and we are closer than we have ever been. My family have been amazing even my dad with dementia hasn’t made any mistakes referring to him. We are both so lucky to have people around us that are so supportive. I will never stop loving him 🥰🏳️⚧️
PPD is Post-Partum Depression. It's unfortunately very common in new mothers, but dads are also able to end up with it as well, though it's less well-known.
My husband is trans and had already transitioned before we met. I'm in awe of this person and What he went through with his transition and life in general. It's not my story to share, but to any trans person reading this and having a hard time: it's not the end. Things get better. ❤
On Tuesdays, I get to be the husband. At some early point in our relationship, I mentioned that I was sad because I'll never get to be someone's husband. Ever since then, on Tuesdays, I am the husband and he is the wife. This affectionate little inside joke morphed into a loving affirmation from my spouse when I came out as non-binary three years ago. It's a small but tender thing for me - we even swap out wedding wine glasses that say "Mr." And "Mrs." - because it's a safe space he made before it ever came up. So, I actually DO get to be someone's husband, and I have the most amazing husband AND wife.
I was with my girlfriend for 4 years before I came out and she has been more supportive than I ever could have imagined. There definitely was an adjustment period and lot of work on both of our ends but our relationship is better than it ever was before. She also started realizing that she’s gay as I transitioned so we’ve been working through that as well. Can’t wait to marry her next year!
I was very early in my transition when I started dating my boyfriend, who up until dating me had referred to himself as a "intense ally", and was scared for a long time that as I progressed in my transition he would fall out of love with me. instead, he has publically come out as queer and has been exploring his own gender identity and has come to terms with his past attractions to men. its so beautiful seeing him be more comfortable in himself and I have zero fears about his attraction to me. we celebrate our 1 year anniversary in January and I couldn't be more excited ❤
PPD stands for postpartum depression. Someone who is at a very high risk of PPD can also be at risk for PPP (post-partum psychosis) which can get really dangerous for everyone involved. IMO it was really shitty that the partner to not wait to start HRT until that risk had passed to ensure that one person in the house had a stable hormonal state. It would have only been another two months. And I get that it's hard to wait, I'm trans too, but this is literally about the safety of the baby and the gestational parent.
I'm polyamorous and when I came out as trans guy, I had 2 different conversations in regards to dating/sex. Both are straight(ish) and cis men: "Hey, since you're a guy, what does that make my sexuality?" "How do you identify?" "Straight." "Straight with an exception?" *Shrugs* "Yeah." "Maybe I'm queerer than I thought." So yeah, I hang out with good allies
It's nice to hear stories of love with fellow trans people!!! Sometimes, I feel like me being trans is a hindrance to finding love and it's something that'll never happen. I want to find love one day but idk if that's ever possible. People used to ask me out as a joke, I never felt like I was "handsome" enough to draw attention. At this point in my life, whatever happens will happen. All I can really do is be more open towards other people. I used to shut myself out from other people because of the crap I've gone through. It would be nice to have someone in my life, it might not happen now or even later but I hope it happens one day, all I can do is just work on who I am for now.
If you are reading this, please, do believe, you will meet someone one day, because you are worthy, every human being is worthy. Greetings from Austria. I am a sic, married woman, but I do have a very close friend, who is ftm. He never came out to me, I just understood it and on a very hot summer day noticed the scars after the top surgery. I met him as a guy, so I accepted that without any problems. I never, never asked the questions or brought up the topic, but immediately started watching more trans related content,in order to understand my friend better. In any case, I am already happily married to my cis husband, so the case of my close ftm friend is just a pure friendship and my business is just love him as a person, support as a friend. I read your comment here and got a moment of empathy for you. Perhaps, because I had relatively similar feelings and thoughts about myself till I was 24...
@@svitlanasalo1179 Hey there, thank you for your comment, it was very kind of you!!!! I guess I'm just not used to being treated kindly, is all. If it'll happen, it'll happen, is all I can figure for now lol
My mom came out when I was a kid (ftm) he still is fine with us calling him mom and I was young enough and raised in a lgbtq supportive house and it was nothing to me and immediately understood and years later I'm trans mtf and it's kinda weird looking at stories of uncomfort in trans but it's still cool
Lovely video. I'm always relieved when Jamie does some more positive videos. It feels like a very necessary breath of fresh air. I'm non-binary and came out as such about 4 1/2 years ago. My spouse (together for 10 years, married for 5) has been my rock. A minor bit of friction does come from the fact he still identifies, at least somewhat, as heterosexual. Because of my AGAB, it makes me uncomfortable. But at the same time, I don't ever wish to dictate how anyone else sees themselves. He has been the absolute best at transitioning pronoun use (I exclusively use they/them) and can frequently be my champion when I ask him for help correcting others. Hearing the stories of other couples who began life one way and then had a queering of the status quo end up living life with fullness and love gives me such joy and hope.
I know a guy who is gay and in his 70's, he has always identified as gay. A few years ago he started dating a trans woman who is also over 70, and had just come out. She made a decision that because of her age, she would only socially transition. She still has a male body, and my gay friend is attracted to male bodies. He sees her as a woman but still calls himself gay. Sometimes things are complex, because humans are complex. While there is a huge overlap in the sex you are attracted to and the gender you are attracted to, they are still 2 separate things.
My wife and most of my crushes are either trans or at least gender non-conforming. Authentic people are the best! Also I've noticed I always have some sort of shared background with trans folks- if they're afab, we may have had similar puberty woes, and trans women often enjoy sharing beauty routines etc!
This video was so freaking adorable omg! My amazing girlfriend and I are both trans girls and I am seriously so happy to be with her, I am so lucky that she ended up liking me back and I love her so much c:. Us both being trans hasn’t affected the relationship too much, it’s something that we were both very aware of for a long time before we started dating so there wasn’t really any shock or anything there lol, but I think one good way that it’s affected me at least is that I feel like she can understand a lot of what I often go through because she’s also trans, and because of that, she is so amazing whenever she’s comforting me about something, especially when it’s trans related, she can just instantly understand what I’m going through and is just always so amazing!!! Honestly I don’t really know why I’m rambling on so much about this lol, I guess I just wanted to share how amazing my gf is lol, anyway, if anyone read all of this, thank you and I hope you have a good day lmao c:
This was such a sweet video ^v^. it reminded me of my own relationship w my boyfriend. He's a cis gay guy & I'm a pre-t pan trans guy & he's always been cool w me exactly as I am & that's my story of trans joy >w
Hey, to any trans people reading this, I'd like some advice: We all know that chasers (people who date trans people solely because they're trans and fetishize them) are bad. But is it problematic for a cis person to have a preference towards trans people as long as that's not their sole or main reason for liking them (i.e. being trans is a factor, but not a bigger one than personality or shared interests), and as long as they aren't creepy or disrespectful towards them? This is based on a comment I saw under Jamie's previous video. EDIT: Thanks for your responses so far! The general consensus seems to be that it's OK to have a preference (something my offline agender friend also agrees with), though I admit that there can be concerns. My advice is that you should definitely remember to treat your trans partner (or partners!) as a person first and foremost. As long as you do that, and as long as your partner(s) is/are OK with your preference, then both/all of you can live your lives together happily.
You absolutely can have a preference for genitalia. As long as you don't objectify them or talk them out of getting srs (if they want that) then I see literally no difference to any other prefernce you might have in a person.
Prefering trans ppl over cis ppl is as benign as prefering fat ppl over skinny ppl. We all have preferences when it comes to attraction and that's fine so long as you don't fetishize.
My sister (mtf) was in her mid-thirties when she came out. She'd been with the same partner for over a decade, a person my whole family adores. They have a son who was I think maybe seven years old at the time. Within a few months, my sister's partner expressed how they'd been feeling, and my sister said, "That sounds like gender dysphoria." Her partner was shocked to realize that yeah, that was it. So two-and-a-half years later, my sister is engaged to the man (ftm) of her dreams, and they're happier than ever, going on fifteen years together. Both are now on HRT and feel like they're actually who they're supposed to be. My immediate family accepted all of it in stride and provided support, though my mom did go through that grieving process even though she's very accepting and supportive.
@@British_Rogue regardless of weather you think trans people are valid or not, he is a man dating someone who is presumably mostly indistinguishable from a cis man. Would you call Jamie’s partner Shaaba gay?
not necessarily romantic, but i've known my friend for 16 years now, we've known each other since kindergarten. i came out as trans in high school and they were super accepting, but then a few years later they came out as nonbinary! seeing them expressing themself in new ways and getting to come out of their shell has been so wonderful for me to see, they're my best friend and i'm so happy for them :')
i'm still questioning but i know i'm not cis. and my partner met me right when i started questioning my gender. i mentioned the potential of me being genderfluid, and i remember his response so vividly. he told me that it's all about my comfort and that nothing he felt about me had changed. that i'm still me. and i cried. now i'm more leaning towards the trans masc route. but that first talk stuck with me. and i know no matter what i end up doing with my transition, he'll be with me and on my side. and it alleviates a lot of the anxiety that comes with exploring
I came out as a trans girl 10 years into a gay relationship. We lived for 9 years as straight. Now I am on the other side of the fence as my now girlfriend came out as a girl too. Not spmething I expected but I'm happy for her and am excited to be in a lesbian relationship. I love her even more and its a bit of a Rollercoaster helping me to re-address my own identity and dysphoria issues.
With the one where the wife started hormones when she was asked to wit a bit, PPD is postpartum depression. Pregnancy and birth can cause a lot of hormone issues with the person, so having the wife also start having hormone changes can be stressful.
Ththis means a lot to me. I'm a gay trans guy, I've been single for like 10yrs and my previous partner (the only guy I've dated since coming out... basically went for the first gay man who would have me, big mistake) was awful. He told me he wanted an open relationship because I didn't have the right parts to satisfy him, isolated me from my friends, basically hammered it in that I was sooo lucky to have anyone at all. I'm still terrified of trying to date. I'm kind of a recluse so I don't really go out, and I'm scared of using the apps in case someone gets violent over me being trans. But it's nice to know that there's hope for people like me 😢
I'm a trans man, and I've been out for almost 10 years and my mother is finally actively trying to get my pronouns correct. When she was at her least supportive, my partner told my MiL how rough it was on me (though she could see it in how I avoided talking about my mother anyway) and she told my partner "he calls me mom, I'm kind of invested in this" and asked how to support me. A day or so later she asked me what I wanted her to look for souvenir wise cuz she was going on a trip and said "listen, I don't want to be getting you bows if you want ties." And I couldn't stop smiling. When she came back I had cut all my hair off and she immediately complimented my smile and said "I love how free you look with your boy-hair." Since it was the first time she'd really seen me that confident and happy. I'll never forget how tightly she hugged me after that and am so grateful for having an amazing mom, she's not my birth mother but she's the best mom I could ever ask for.
This is making me cry.... I'm so scared that I can never support my partner (mtf) properly...... We live in a red state and I'm afraid I can never figure out how to help them reach where they want to be....
Got a divorce earlier this year because my husband thought me being Non Binary 'was a phase' even though he was well aware for years before we married. It gives me so much hope to see all the happy stories in the comments! 💙💙💙💙
I can't describe how much I needed this. I realized I'm nonbinary about two or so months ago and its been hard. I've had so many internal battles combined with not being in a place (location-wise) where I can even consider coming out to any but my closest friends. I'm working on moving and getting to a place both physically and emotionally where I can start to be open about who I am. But, one of my biggest worries and concerns, has been finding a partner who accepts me. Seeing not just the struggles but also the successes of so many really helped shine a ray of hope into a particularly difficult time, and I'm so grateful! Thank you Jammi for the amazing content!
the wife who wants her partner to pass, that might never be possible for them anyway. some people gotta make their peace with what they got, and that is a journey. its not possible to push somebody to that. for having done so much research (and good on you for it), there is much you have yet to learn. being trans is sometimes, just awful. coming to terms with every person you meet going forward in your life knowing that you are trans because of how you look is not easy. i can understand being afraid of her partner getting hatecrimed. i live in the deep south and yeah, its a risk. but if you cant move and cant pass, you just have to make your peace with that too.
The most beautiful moment of my life was with my now ex bf, we dated for some time and i (mtf) never told him that im trans, i got very heavily bullied and so now even to this day i struggle to tell people im trans (i wanted to comment on so many vids of jammi but didnt bcs of that) anyway after a few weeks of dating i felt like its not fair hiding it any longer from him so i told him om trans, and his reaction was to hug me and say "i already knew that" without a 2nd though he treated me as a woman, our relationship didnt work out but we are still very close friends
Listened to the book on Audible this week! It was amazing! Thank you for all the hard work you and everyone else put into it! Thank you to everyone who shared their stories for it! Stay amazing! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
I'm trans and my husband is cis. I began my transition in 2004 and had a disastrous end to my first relationship with a cis man in 2011, so disastrous that I didn't even attempt to date again for eight years after that. I met my now husband in 2017 as a friend and we began officially dating in 2019. He loves me for the woman I am, before I met him I had never been close with a man who didn't see me as "one of the boys". But he was different. As I got to know him better I learned about his own struggles growing up in a very religious household and their idea of manhood, discovering his pansexuality and gender nonconformity as a young man and finding solace in the LGBT community. As someone who also struggled with being pushed into a certain idea of maleness as a young kid, I gained a deep understanding of why he never had any reservations with my trans identity. We got married earlier this year; he is my rock, my anchor, my everything.
I (30 cis F) introduced my trans NB partner to your videos, Jamie, and now we watch them all independently but also sometimes together, including this one which we watched together this afternoon and now I'm coming back this evening to comment. I understand what some of the people in your video say about a grieving process about a person and life that doesn't come to fruition because of transitioning, though it does also make me sad to think about because there are so many possibilities that come with transitioning too that I feel are often overlooked. I just wanted to put this out there to people with NB partners that sometimes your life and partnership become more real and more solid after your person comes out. It's like everything that was good and comfortable about us before has become crystalized and there's more to explore in their gender and expression that I get to be a part of and support them in. I understand why sometimes gender transitions can be destabilizing for partners, but also want to voice my contentment and happiness for my partner living more authentically and that action having only positive ramifications in our life and existence as partners.
These were heavy stories, but important to express for betterment to be themselves. I read your book it was nice. I read it to understand better and attempt to be a better ally. I ended up giving it to some friends who has a kid who has realized they are nonbinary. I really liked how it had a part for someone transitioning and one for blokes like me. Thank you for helping me peek into a world I don't know enough about.
I came out to my parrner as trans about 2 years ago now. We ended up breaking up which hurt a lot more because it was about that, but i made it clear that her feelings are very important and i understand that you may not feel the same way anymore. 2 years later, she has been one of my biggest supporters and shows me as much love as she did before(just in different ways now 😋). If it wasn't for her support i wouldn't be where i am now. 4 months into transitioning, and It feeels amazing.
Thank you so much for acknowledging the grief process as a normal stage for loved ones even when they still accept and love the trans person. I see a lot of people just rip into loved ones for being anti trans for having any negative emotions at all. It's lovely to see compassion for the loved ones as they support transitioning people.
I feel like a lot of these stories are about two people dating and then one of them comes out as trans. But thats not the only way we find love. My girlfriend only knows me post transition, knew from the start that i was trans and never ones thought of it, even kind of forgets it sometimes? Like not in a way that erases my struggles, she is aware of them and sees them when i need them to be seen, but in a way that shows it doesnt matter to her at all? Love can find you easily after you came out too, I feel like stories like mine are just as important and romantic as those of the couple where the transition happens after they got together.
I transitioned after my partner and I had been dating for 5 years (now dating for 8 years). It's been crazy how much we've grown as people and as a couple. We communicate so well and having gone through this together makes me feel like we can tackle anything. We also just had a baby who is 4 months old and he is the chillest little dude. It is so fun going through life together
Me and my wife have been married 5 years now. I don't think any of the phobes can have ever spent any real time with anyone trans, because had they, there would never be even the idea of an inkling of a question in their heads that the person is exactly who they are and have always been at their core. Gender is intrinsic and biology is an afterthought, sometimes in need of correction.
My wife is trans, and I've really appreciated that subreddit as a place of solidarity and support from time to time. It can be difficult watching someone you love struggle through the process of figuring out who they are and what they've been suppressing and hiding, but I'm so happy I did because she's the world to me and now everyone gets to know the person I saw when it was just us before. I love her so much.
PPD = PostPartum Depression. Where the hormone levels of the person who gave birth are a little wonky and they get depressed for a period of time after having a baby. It can last anywhere from a few weeks to up to years, I believe. (Not a medical professional and this is just me simplifying it.)
I have been accepting myself as nonbinary for about a year now and have changed names and pronouns. As I’m discovering more about myself and my past and how it all lines up, my spouse has begun to come out of their own shell more and live their own life as a nonbinary person. They’ve always been pretty feminine at home but we’ve found a group of friends who are all queer and neurodivergent and now we’re just a bunch of weird they/thems.
I’ve just fallen in love for the first time, and it’s amazing! We’re both trans, so I love that I can talk to her about anything and she’ll understand. We may not have supportive families but we have each other and we’re happier than ever.
im curious how many people relate here, so im going to put this out there: im demiromantic (or was? i think hrt has changed that) and before that, i had only had 3 crushes, one of which was openly trans at the time, and two others who later came out as nonbinary. the trend continues, with nonbinary people being the most attractive to me, but it feels like my internal processes put two and two together before either one of us knew
I mean it's a well known fact that being nonbinary makes you 100 times hotter but idk In all seriousness though I have heard trans people who say that they thought they were just gay for dudes pre medical transitioning but then once their body started matching their brain they realized it was just their own dysphoria and actually liked women too. That's just one easy example but anything to be of help
You sound a lot like my girlfriend (I believe she's still comfy with the demiromantic label for herself), although the process of realizing our transness was the other way around for us. She came out two or three years before I did, and had a much more solid view of her identity than I did until I was about 21. Being with her made me look back on my relationships and realize that I'd spent my whole life dating men and hating it in an attempt to "fix" my trans and queer self. Being with her, getting to support her and be supported in the same breath, has been so eye opening and validating (not to mention fun). It took me a long time to realize, but I finally discovered that I'm a nonbinary demisexual lesbian... But I just shorten it to queer cause that label makes me feel extra comfy lol. Sometimes our brains and bodies can express internal desires in looking for specific partners, sometimes it's the opposite. Human nature is an incredibly nuanced and nonlinear thing, but I think that's what makes it fun.
Im a cis m and my Trans gf is the love of my life, im bi/pan (still working on that), i have never been happier in a relationship, recently we have been going out and im so proud to hold her hand in public, we went shopping and she got the most amazing dress and coat, before we went out she looked in the mirror and said "i feel really pretty".....simple answer.....you are pretty, seeing her see herself as i see her everyday made me tear up, she is a loveing, beaitiful woman
My spouse of 10 years came out to me as trans . So we re-did our marriage with the correct clothes
That's amazing 😭
@@Murphy-er9bg we even actually worn the same clothing. We are very close in size so they could where my clothes and Vis versa
Omg that's adorable!
@@bestaqua23that is so adorable
aww cute
I’m a cis guy but my girlfriend is trans, I wouldn’t have it any other way. To me, I sometimes even forget she’s trans, cis, whatever, cause it doesn’t matter to me. I love her and nothing will change that.
this is so pure and wholesome i love it. I have no way of knowing, but i think my partner is the same way and trust me, that feeling makes us so happy. she's lucky to have you
You are an amazing human, sir
Aw thanks guys :)
This is so nice ❤❤❤❤
@@Lord-Griff No, he have a girlfriend who happens to be trans. So his partner is a woman 😊
When I came out as a trans man to my boyfriend (he's a cis man), I told him that he has a boyfriend now. To which he replied, "I've always had a boyfriend". Since that day, he's always proud to tell people about his boyfriend, even if he lives in the rural south lol
I'm so glad to read this ! Stories are always about wife supporting their transitioning spouses but this is the first time I hear about a cis man supporting a ftm transition. i was really in need of reading this.
Awe! That's so sweet!
I'm so happy for you! Congratulations to you both!
That’s so damn sweet!! 🥹🥹🥹
PPD is postpartum depression. Horrible and sad thing for people after they give birth
I was looking for this comment, boosting this so more people see this
Also boosting
It's tragic
boost
Boost
Married 18 years. I identified as a lesbian and my spouse transitioned after we got married - it was a bit hard at times but we walked together and are stronger than ever. We are partners in every way - each of us taking on tasks that we are good at. He is great at the laundry while I excel at fixing things. We say f*ck gender roles and his motto is "Masculinity is what you make it". (Although it took him a long time to get there). Meanwhile he has a full beard that makes his cis brothers jealous, and I have a husband that is empathetic and understanding for female issues :) support, patience, and lots and lots of talking
That sounds incredibly wholesome, I'm happy for you both! Please let me know if I'm overstepping, but how did you cope with this at the time, considering you identified as a lesbian? Were you attracted to him after his transition?
@luchirimoya it was a conscious choice to stay. In any relationship your partner will change as they age and grow. It wasn't easy, I won't lie, and we almost didn't make it for a while. But in any marriage you wake up and choose every day to love your partner. Mine changed a bit more than expected, but over the years I have changed too. I still see the eyes of the person I fell in love with all those years ago, behind wrinkles/ grey hairs / and an unexpected beard.
Best possible outcome.
Respect. Love takes work, but it's pretty darn great.
@@alexisjean6191 "Wrinkles, grey hairs and an unexpected beard" 😂
I’m a cis guy and I dated a trans guy a little while back, and it was one of the best relationships of my life. Even though things didn’t work out, I still think of him sometimes. He set a relationship gold standard for me
dont claim youre gay
King shit fr fr
Absolutely love that.
As someone who's trans and has a hard time not falling into the "I will never find someone" rabbit hole, stories and stuff like these makes me so happy that other trans people get to experience it and it gives me hope, I hope both you and him are doing well even if you aren't together anymore
@@tthemmefatalei hope u find someone soon!!! but you're a stay, so ig it will be ezr
ppl tend to fall in love easier with someone with such a good and refined taste
Me during the pandemic: oh gosh, I think I might be gay, how will I tell my husband??
My wife with the most impeccable timing ever: I'm a woman
Me: oh...well that's solves that
We've never been happier
That's so beautiful! I'd like to believe that sometimes people can subconsciously see others for who they are, and a part of you were both waiting for the right time to be true to yourselves and each other ❤️
Thats actually really funny, what a coincidence LOL
Luck: 100
"Honey I might have some bad new"
"Me too, I think I might be gay"
"... honey I have some great news"
@@jondw"Honey, I think I'm a lesbian."
"Oh my god - me too!"
I will be forever grateful for my family who, when my partner came out as trans, said they love her like a daughter(she's mtf) and that she treats me better than any of my ex's have. We're getting married next year ❤ ☺️
Congrats!
aww ❤
Your family cares that you are happy. Having the experience of a truly loving family, makes it easier for people to recognize healthy relationships, and to find a truly loving partner. I’m happy for you!
Your family sounds amazing
congrats!💗
My partner came out to me as trans after we'd been dating for about a year, and about half a year later I came out to them as being nonbinary - helping her express her true self helped me feel comfortable expressing mine. We both had our genders changed on our birth certificates, and when name changes happened we both changed our last names to the same name.
aww
Married via 'inspect element'
@@gone_mad-tryagainlater that’s hilarious I love it
Lmao so weak and pathetic.
Omg congratulations to you both, what a beautiful fkn chain of events 🥺✨
I was with my girlfriend for almost 5 years and then she decided one day out of the blue that she wanted a "real" man.
We were engaged. We were supposed to get married in less than half a year.
I don't know how to express how sorry I am that that happened. What a horrific thing to do to somebody. Undermine their self hood while shattering their heart. Horrible.
I hope you find/have found peace. And I hope she's realized what she lost in her search for an idea of "real" manhood.
What the actual f*ck :(
damn dude that really sucks, im so sorry you had to hear that from someone so close to you
❤
I'm sorry that happened. She could have worded that better and not been so cruel. Hope you find someone perfect for you, that makes you feel loved and appreciated.
When I came out to my dad as transfemme, he told me of how he used to date a trans woman. Apparently, she was his favorite girlfriend over the years because she "felt more real than any of (his) other girlfriends." They ended the relationship on good terms because she was moving away. I wish I could've met Alyx. She seems like a good person. And yes, she chose her name because of Half Life.
As a trans boy, I can say that I actually find that T4T relationships are what's best for me, because my partner understands what I'm going through and we can help each other. Anyone can relate?
Personally, I relate. I've been with alot of cisgender people and when I started dating trans/nonbinary people like myself, I felt alot more comfortable
@@rcdune7132why are you asking? Lol
I agree. I can't say I'm never going to date a cis person, but I'm not seeking them out at all.
@@cranberrycracker6847 Yeah, me too ^^
@@ItsAllNunya Feel that
My fiancé and I met believing we were a pair of cis lesbian girls. Took us about four years before I realized I wasn’t and spent years questioning and figuring out my gender (non-binary, potentially some gender fluidity), and he took some time to think on himself after I came out, and came to realize he’s a very lovely trans man! 7 years into our relationship and we’re happier than ever.
That is so sweet. Best wishes to you both.
:)
I’ve just recently started dating a trans woman, and so far, the only adjustment I’ve had to make is that as a cis lesbian in my late 30s who’s never had to worry about birth control before, I had to figure it all out later in life compared to other cis women. Luckily, I have a very supportive family doctor who helped me navigate the whole thing, even reaching out to a compassionate care charity for my birth control of choice when my insurance didn’t cover it.
My girlfriend is so lovely, and I’m so happy to have her in my life!
@@chrisbfreelanceAre all men who like pegging bisexual? No.
Are lesbians who enjoy sex with strap-ons all bisexual? No.
If she's a lesbian, she only likes women. Girl dick is still *girl.*
Some people discover they are bisexual later in life, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. If she says she's a lesbian, she's a lesbian.
@@chrisbfreelance because she's not? she's a lesbian.
@@chrisbfreelance or a trans woman apparently. can't you read? it's said quite explicitly in the original comment. i don't understand why you're confused.
@@ldekker97 I don't think their confused pretty sure they just don't consider trans women "real women" sadly
@chrisbfreelance Because I'm not. I'm a lesbian, and am only attracted to women. This includes trans women.
I'm not attracted to men, including trans men. In fact, I've had the opportunity to sleep with men who I've found aesthetically attractive, but my libido very clearly went "nope, that's a dude".
When I'm with my girlfriend, my libido goes "Pretty lady! 😍"
Hope that helps.
My bf has been here for me when I was a girl and continued to be here for me through my gender confusion and realising I'm nb. He called me handsome and his bf recently, it feels so nice.
I'm so glad to read this ! Stories are always about wife supporting their transitioning spouses but never about a man supporting a ftm transition. i was really in need of reading this.
As a closeted trans woman (who for the time being wants to focus on herself rather than dating), it is really uplifting hearing stories like these ^^
Best of wishes on your journey! Focusing on oneself is always enlightening and rewarding in the end. Even if it can be difficult sometimes. Keep it up. You'll do great things. I believe in you.
🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵🦖
You read my mind. Except I'm a closeted trans guy.
You’re a man.
@@boss-fh6ozyou’re a woman.
@@tyler2102 your mom
I still don't know if I'll ever find love as a trans guy but damn this makes me hopeful sometimes
dw you'll find someone ❤
Love is so hard to find
and even harder to define
Anyone who wouldn't date you because youre trans isn't worth your time ❤❤
Of course you will! True love is hard to find, but you being trans won't be a deterrent for the right person. I'm cis, but I'm saying this as a disabled woman who is still having issues accepting her disability and its implications... but has never had any problems when it comes to dating, and is happy in a long term relationship. You got this! The most important thing is that you love yourself
You absolutely will!!!
My first partner was a trans girl. She came out about 2 years into the relationship, and I remember she was near tears telling me because she thought I would break up with her since I thought I was gay at the time. I told her I didn't feel any different about her or our relationship, and she was actually the reason I came to realize I was bi.
Nah, you're still gay.
@@British_Rogue he's bi, he likes men and women on the spectrum, if he's okay with being bi then who cares? It's not your place to tell them
@@TheLuckyCop Oh, you're the xenophobic commenter. I'm not taking life lessons from you.
i would’ve made an appointment with god for him.
@@chuckie12inch You got god on speed dial? Or do you just mean your own presumptions about a fictitious being?
I don't know if you'll see this Jamie, but I used to show your videos to my dad over 5 years ago to help him become more accepting. It slowly but surely worked and now YEARS later hes a fully fledged ally! On a much sweeter side note your videos opened up a whole world for me, helped me realize being a trans man was an option and even led to my mom asking if I was trans a week after I came out to some friends (dw it was a nice story). I have so many great memories of sitting in our living room and watching your videos with my mom. She sadly passed away this year but she loved your content and was the best mom any queer kid could've asked for (though I am a grown adult now and have been for awhile). Thank you for just being you and making all of the wonderful, and positive content you make! You have surely changed many lives for the better!
So sorry for your loss 💜
❤
Congratulations for you and your dad,
But my condolences for your mother.
Upvoting, so he'll read it! It's such a happy story! Apart from your mom passing. Sorry for your loss!
So sorry for your loss. May her love follow you everywhere you go. I’m so glad she got to truly see you before she passed :’’’)
Also awesome to hear your dad’s come around and that you have good friends and all. Much love to you!
The day of my 1 year anniversary of coming out trans, my partner and I had gone to the zoo with friends of ours. I'd still been nervous about passing back then, especially since I hadn't been on HRT for very long. We ran into some coworkers of my partner and every time they would, without hesitation, introduce me as their girlfriend. Absolutely one of the best feelings of my life, and I can't wait till girlfriend, becomes wife.
aww ❤
Hopefully you won't decide to Detransition one day because that's really gonna suck for ya
@rcdune7132 that's never happening, thank you for your concern. I waited 33 years to be who I was always supposed to be, I'm not about to go back to that unhappy creature
We have been married for over 30 years (have a couple of kids and a half dozen grandchildren). About 5 years ago I came out as trans (ftm). My husband is cis and straight. Everyone asked if we would get divorced but there's no reason. I'm still the same person only less depressed and more hairy lol. My husband loves the person I am and I love him for being him. We've grown through the years never trying to change the other, while letting the other change and grow without fear of becoming unloved. The kids and grandkids had absolutely no problem with my transition. To them my husband is granpa 1 and I'm grandpa 2 or grandmapa.
Grandmapa - I love that!
I love grandmapa so muchh
Only less depressed and more hairy lol. This is the best comment I’ve seen so far. That sounds so wholesome. Thank you for sharing, and bless our trans elders
I'm so glad to read this ! Stories are always about wife supporting their transitioning spouses but this is the first time I hear about a cis straight man supporting a ftm transition. i was really in need of reading this.
I'm an amab person and two years ago I started doubting my gender and identifying as non binary using all pronouns but in fact i never had the confidence to use different pronouns than he/him even if when my partner occasionally used she/her i would melt in joy. This summer i realised i am in fact a girl and, even if we broke up (we are still good friends), i felt the necessity to text them to say thanks for being supportive and helping me in my self discovery when even I wasn't able
uh
this is so sweet to hear. im so glad that you found yourself and that you have such a wonderful friend in your life ♡
@@ArbitraryCodeExecution what a great contribution to this conversation you have made
@@nameofthename sorry i just happen to relate so much to some parts of OP's comment, was kinda shocking
@@ArbitraryCodeExecution I send you a virtual hug
My partner of 11 years recently left me because I am non binary. I came out to him 2 years ago, and we got married a year later. Now, he says it's "too much" and that I "trapped him". He says this now after just a month ago we celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary where we both expressed feeling the happiest we had ever been together.
Very much needing the hope this video brings that someone will love me for who I am one day.
Fwiw, those quotes sound more like a mid-life crisis than anything to do with your gender. It's sadly common for people to start having complex feelings about their life choices and rather than deal with those feelings just...run away. Or blame them on someone else.
As a trans person with an unsupportive partner, these were both beautiful and heartbreaking stories to hear. I want what they have.
I know I'm just an internet stranger, but if your partner is unsupportive of who you are on a fundamental basis and refuses to change, that's not a healthy relationship.
Been there. It's emotional hell. The sooner your are able to move on from them, the sooner you can blossom.
I hope that either your partner changes their views soon or you'll have a quick and rather painless break-up. And I hope that you'll find an abundance of love and support in a new relationship.
You deserve better! 💙💗🤍💗💙
I hope you find a partner who actually loves you and supports you.
I dated a transguy in my teens, he came out to me as trans a few months in and I bought him his first binder and paid for him to change his name on his 16th birthday (unsupportive family so had to wait until 16 so didn't need their permission). Nothing about the relationship changed other than I had a boyfriend and not a girlfriend
Sorry, how do you pay for someone to change their name? And how much does it cost? I'm a closeted trans guy so I feel like this might help me in the future.
@boss-fh6oz well in the UK you can change name via deedpoll, at the time it cost £12.50, so we went on the website he put in his chosen name as well as his dead name and I paid the bill at the end, I also had my mums friend officiate it because only certain people can do that and my mums friend was the mayor. I have no idea how it works in other countries, though
🤨 Sounds like a supportive family to me.
@@British_Rogue how?
@@bambino05 How does it not? She was a little girl. A child.
Crying because I've spent this AM looking for an engagement ring for my trans-masc partner. He's the love of my life. Now watching this video and I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him
Congrats!
Congratulations and best wishes! ❤
Aww congrats❤
Wish you the best of luck!
To those who do sometimes feel like they can't be loved because they're trans, please know that that's not true! My husband helped me crack my egg after picking up on my dysphoria and chatting to me about it. He still loves me, but now I'm actually happier and feel safer in our own home. I can now communicate more clearly about how I'm feeling. And he makes sure every day to make sure I know he loves me.
You are worthy of love, my friend. 💜 And if you see any hateful comments on this video, try to just scroll by and not let them ruin your day, because you are beautiful, loved, and worth so much more than transphobia.
God bless!
12:53 A lesser known sexuality is demisexual which is when you are attracted to someone but only after you've developed an emotional bond with them.
In situations like this, I think that's where the attraction comes from because they've developed a relationship where they connected in more ways than just physical.
As a cis/ace guy, that is a valid description...
Although I'm currently sex-repulsed, I could see myself having a relationship with a trans woman. What is between your ears is far more important than what is between your legs!
Yes! I am bisexual demisexual, so I’m the same way. It doesn’t matter to me what gender someone is as much as our long term emotional bond.
Hello, person reading the comments! Did you know you are amazing? I am so proud of you! Whatever is going on in your life, remember, you've got this! You are so much stronger than you think! 🦕🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🦖
Thanks, I needed to read that. You as well, friend
The Dinosaurs make this comment special
As a trans dinosaur nerd i love the emojis here, thank you very much! You must be an amazing person as well ^^
You too friend
U too ❤
I feel SO much for these couples who are having a hard time with partner transitions. I recently divorced my spouse of 12+ years because I didn't think i could accept that I could no longer see the person i had married. I was afraid of change and of losing someone I loved.
And now... I'm getting to see that same person happier than I've seen in the last decade. I can't believe I ever doubted it. She came out and is still the most beautiful person I've ever met. She is now my girlfriend 🩷 and I am thoroughly enjoying seeing her in a new light. I hope she feels the same.
You bet I do 🩷🩷
That's sweet I'm glad you guys have worked it out
So I’m non-binary my wife and our girlfriend are both trans and we are very happy. We all support and encourage each other to express ourselves as well as comfort each other when one of us is not ready for something.
Y'all sound like a lovely family!
You sound like a cuck, but hey if that works for you that's completely fine
>my wife and our girlfriend
Why do I keep running into polyamorous people online?
@@BlooMonkiManignore bloomonk. Dude defends homophobes all over the comment section. Really likes making crap up.
@@wacawaka1802 How?
I actually have a story relating to this. For context I am trans masculine (he/they) and my partner uses any pronouns. My partner was talking to a boy in one of their classes and I came up in conversation and they showed a picture of me and to him said that I was their boyfriend. Now this boy (I'll call him north) said that because of my biology they actually had a girlfriend, not a boyfriend. (I present very feminine and can't pass for shit) My best friend happened to overhear this and my friend and partner proceeded to absolutely tear into North about how he was transphobic and how I was their boyfriend and it just felt so amazing and affirming.
You got a good partner right there
That's so sweet
My wife and I are both trans. T4T is such an amazing situation for us. While we are an AMAB-AFAB, husband and wife with a whole bunch of kids, we appear to be a cookie-cutter middle class American family and we mostly are. Its amazing to have a partner who understands dysphoria on the same level and understands how to help you through that. That level of "i get it because ive experienced it" has been so wonderfully healing for both of us after coming outnand transitioning before meeting each other, we both experienced very painful ends to long that relationships that ended because we came out.
Both my partner and I are trans, and I couldn’t be more grateful. We’ve watched ourselves grow and change during all these time, and it has been amazing, it also makes it easier for us to understand each other.
T4T SUPREMACY
I (34f) married my best friend two years ago, and they recently came out to me as trans (mtf). I love watching them trying new things (make-up and skirts) and being comfortable in their own skin. It's been an adjustment for me, and we both worry about how our families will react, but I'm excited for the future.
I had a friend who I liked. Like, a lot. I am a non-binary lesbian. When he came out ad trans, I started to question my sexuality, because realistically, he is the same person yk? But then he started to transition, both socially and medically and well. I am a lesbian. So I got over my crush real quick (thankfully it was one-sided tho) and now he is one of my best friends and we support each other a lot. Both lived in different conservative small-towns, so the support has been great. In February, we will both move to the same city!
I’m non-binary and my partner came out as non-binary too a little before we started dating! It’s amazing. :)
non-binary alliance
What's the actual difference from you both declaring that you're non-binary apart from being on the fringe of the trans club?
@@daddydeadly3428 Non-binary people are trans? What a rude thing to say.
GAYYYYYYYYY
@@daddydeadly3428 ?
The first story, even as a trans person, I had a hard time when my first partner was changing his pronouns and name (he was already out as trans when we met) and I was so frustrated with myself for feeling confused and having a hard time adjusting. He was trying out neo pronouns for a while and I just couldn’t wrap my head around it, and I’d beat myself up for not using the correct pronouns. Things got easier with that tho and he ended up going by he/they along with the neo pronouns.
What's a neo pronoun?
I can't wait to read the book. You've helped me discover who I really am. Thank you.
You won't regret reading Jamie's book. It felt like having a much-needed pep talk with my best friend.
I don't think illbe able to read the book until I move out of my parent's house, sadly.. Unless I can find a copy at Wal-mart, but idk
I understand the unknown, my dad is trans (she's still okay with being called dad) and she's a completely differently person then she was, when she was a man she was angry and sometimes took it out on things around her (objects not people) she broke a laptop once's and throw a stool because it was in her way.
But now she's really happy, she started joking around again and hasn't yelled or thrown anything in a year now, it's so wired to see how she is now vs how she used to be
just because she's okay with it doesn't mean it's not transphobic
@@redmage5251 if outsiders did, sure, if the supportive family members involved do? totally different story. That's not anyone's business to decide, and it sounds like they talked this through and can update if ever needed.
It's similar to how for friends and family GET, like process and understand your transness, little things like that are less important. People who can't and won't, but also can't bother to even use a name correctly? Different territory.
Sincerely, a trans NB.
@@Kylailao if you're not a trans woman i'd recommend not telling a trans woman it's okay to call a trans woman a dad.
@@redmage5251OP said their parent is okay with being called dad. That’s a fairly common practice of trans parents. If you’ve grown up with calling someone a certain name all their life, it’s only natural they will say that name even by accident. Especially with role names like “mom” and “dad” the child most likely already has someone occupying the role of “mom” so if OPs dad is okay with being called “dad” than it’s really not your place to tell them it’s wrong. That’s a decision they made together as a family. You don’t get to tell people how they should refer to each other. That’s between the people involved. It literally has nothing to do with you…
@@unionunicorn6776 that's a lot of words to say you think trans women are men. we literally can't be dads by definition
I've had three romantic relationships. All three with trans girls. All three asked me to be their boyfriend. Apparently I'm a trans chick magnet. Lol
You have the power of King Midas, except instead of turning all to gold, you turn everyone trans. 😂😉
god i wish i were you lmfao
@@acutechicken5798 Not even close to what I was saying, but this is still a little funny. Hehe
@@nameofthename Well, to be fair. None of them worked out. Lol
You're gay.
My boyfriend is cis, I am trans (ftm). We met four years after I started my transition, so I was already very secure in my identity, passed very well and had very little dysphoria. Still I was scared I would never find someone who could handle me being trans and expected I would always have to make compromises I would not feel comfortable with or die lonely and sad (this is my first romantic relationship). But he shattered my worries and has been so much more caring and understanding than I could ever have imagined. He loves me. Not in spite of being trans. He just loves me. And I love him.
I will propose to him on December 20th, which is our three year anniversary :)
What a coincidence you two met on my birthday... 😮
Congrats on coming as far as you have, by the way. I wish you two nothing but the best even though we probably never met. 👍
@@BlooMonkiMan ignore bloomonk. Dude defends homophobes all over the comment section. Really likes making crap up.
Good luck man, I wish you a good life with you and your partner
When I came out as trans to my wife, she had trouble at first because she identified as straight and now she was married to a woman. She soon though came to the conclusion that I was the same person, and she still loved me. I came out during COVID and we made plans to go out as a same sex couple when it was safe to do so. Unfortunately her liver started having problems and her liver and kidneys ended up failing and she passed away before we could go out together.
Why do I have a feeling some religious nutjob is gonna call that divine intervention?
As someone whose relationship went up in flames (to put it very, very lightly) the literal moment I realized I am trans, this was a bittersweet video to watch
I'm incredibly envious of those who didn't lose their entire lives when their egg cracked. That being said, it warms my heart that there are compassionate and understanding people out there supporting my trans siblings
Here's hoping as time goes on and trans people become more culturally accepted stories like this become more and more common
If you have a partner that accepts and supports you, give them a hug for me ❤
Omg you talking about the baby clothes with Shaaba 😭
Y'all are legit couple goals and you're gonna be a great father ❤
And one of Shaaba's most recent videos was about new parents and she talked about having children soon.
When I had top surgery, I am told (I don't directly remember this because of the anesthesia) that I identified the three people who came with me as "my mom, my dad, and my girlfriend." Since then, two of those descriptions have changed. My moms have been together for over 30 years through more ups and downs than my partner of nearly 8 years and I can probably imagine, but transition has been an overall positive change for all of us and we're all a lot closer because of it. My partner and I are getting ready to move into an apartment together but we plan on visiting my moms regularly and inviting them over.
I am so unsure and scared of the steps that may be ahead of me. Watching your videos shows many facettes, normalized perviously 'weird' thoughts -I put thouse aside as 'wrong' in the past- and helped me to find a way to myself. I am not there yet, but it is becoming more clear to me. Thank you for taking away so much fear and guilt for just being different.
nice ❤
I'm just happy to see that there's people standing up for the trans transgender community and other communities. I am a sis male, but I grew up in the 80s, where I learned, it's best to live and let live. As long as you're not hurting anyone, who cares what you do, as long as it makes you happy. I also don't judge people for the same reason. Everyone walks in different shoes, and unless you walk a mile in those shoes, you have no idea what they are thinking or what they went through. So you do you, and I'll do i. And maybe we'll agree that we both deserve that have mutual respect for each other.
I realized I was queer when i was dating my first partner and one day she came to me and told me she feels like a girl. My first reaction was surprise, as you can imagine.
I was scared i would lose feelings for her because i loved everything we did together and felt genuine connections and we had a good friendship beforehand. but i decided to stick it out to see what would happen.
I found myself in love with a girl who felt happier to wear a girl's swimsuit and paint her nails and grow her hair out (I loved her curls!) and i found myself seeing things in stores and thinking "ooo should i get that for my girlfriend?" We walked hand in hand in school, confident and happy and (i asked beforehand if she was ok with this) I told everyone i loved my girlfriend soooo so much.
It was middle school so it was obviously a surprise when a seemingly hetero couple suddenly turned out to be lesbian. I was proud to hold her hand, i was happy that we didnt fight over gender identity, but rather who got more chocolate from a croissant we split.
We did eventually break up but we remain friends to this day and she looks STUNNING!! Im so proud of her and theres no awkwarness to our relationship, we're two friends who can chat and laugh and continue to fight over who got more chocolate from a croissant.
Yay, my boyfriend is trans ! I'm enby but i dont usually call myself trans, and i love him a lot
Your girlfriend?
@@rcdune7132 No, they clearly said their boyfriend.
@@rcdune7132 can you read ?
@@rcdune7132clearly, you are Wheatley from Portal 2
@@freddiefishton Now, now, I'm, MOSTLY certain Wheatley can read.
im cis, my gf is trans, i met her after she started (she is gonna start taking hrt in the follow months), i cannot explain how happy i feel when she tell me she feel like a woman around me sometime
my sister is also trans and i also love her very much
(im myself bi if you ask)
edit : also, before meeting her i was very transphobic, i did arleady started becoming an ally when i was accepting my sister after like, a year of transition, but yeah , she really turned me into a proud ally
Another wholesome story
I was a homophobic transphobic person when I was a young teen, but by the time I was about 14-15, I figured out that WOW in fact queer people are not evil! A few months after I turned 16, I realized I was bi and then a year (ish) later I began going down the "maybe I'm a demigirl, oh maybe I'm nonbinary, oh I'm just a dude lmao" pipeline. Now I've been on T for like 4 months and tomorrow is my 2 month anniversary with my beautiful trans girlfriend, whom I love so much.
@@WishGendercongrats🎉 you give me hope
It’s interesting to see Jamie pre and post haircut. Could it be the Jammidodger Multiverse?
the jammiverse... what do you think the jamie canon event would be
My boyfriend is trans and came out about a year into us dating and we are closer than we have ever been. My family have been amazing even my dad with dementia hasn’t made any mistakes referring to him. We are both so lucky to have people around us that are so supportive. I will never stop loving him 🥰🏳️⚧️
PPD is Post-Partum Depression. It's unfortunately very common in new mothers, but dads are also able to end up with it as well, though it's less well-known.
My husband is trans and had already transitioned before we met. I'm in awe of this person and What he went through with his transition and life in general. It's not my story to share, but to any trans person reading this and having a hard time: it's not the end. Things get better. ❤
On Tuesdays, I get to be the husband. At some early point in our relationship, I mentioned that I was sad because I'll never get to be someone's husband. Ever since then, on Tuesdays, I am the husband and he is the wife. This affectionate little inside joke morphed into a loving affirmation from my spouse when I came out as non-binary three years ago. It's a small but tender thing for me - we even swap out wedding wine glasses that say "Mr." And "Mrs." - because it's a safe space he made before it ever came up. So, I actually DO get to be someone's husband, and I have the most amazing husband AND wife.
This is so beautiful ❤️❤️❤️❤️
this is so smart and wholesome!
I was with my girlfriend for 4 years before I came out and she has been more supportive than I ever could have imagined. There definitely was an adjustment period and lot of work on both of our ends but our relationship is better than it ever was before. She also started realizing that she’s gay as I transitioned so we’ve been working through that as well. Can’t wait to marry her next year!
I was very early in my transition when I started dating my boyfriend, who up until dating me had referred to himself as a "intense ally", and was scared for a long time that as I progressed in my transition he would fall out of love with me. instead, he has publically come out as queer and has been exploring his own gender identity and has come to terms with his past attractions to men. its so beautiful seeing him be more comfortable in himself and I have zero fears about his attraction to me. we celebrate our 1 year anniversary in January and I couldn't be more excited ❤
PPD stands for postpartum depression. Someone who is at a very high risk of PPD can also be at risk for PPP (post-partum psychosis) which can get really dangerous for everyone involved.
IMO it was really shitty that the partner to not wait to start HRT until that risk had passed to ensure that one person in the house had a stable hormonal state. It would have only been another two months. And I get that it's hard to wait, I'm trans too, but this is literally about the safety of the baby and the gestational parent.
I'm polyamorous and when I came out as trans guy, I had 2 different conversations in regards to dating/sex. Both are straight(ish) and cis men:
"Hey, since you're a guy, what does that make my sexuality?" "How do you identify?" "Straight." "Straight with an exception?" *Shrugs* "Yeah."
"Maybe I'm queerer than I thought."
So yeah, I hang out with good allies
You’re all so desperate for allies and to accepted. Can’t even accept yourselves lol so weak.
Wait so... you came out as a trans man to your cis male partners and told them that you identify as "straight with an exception"?
@@Emma-MazeI think it’s the other way around. He said that his partner is(could be) straight with exceptions.
It's nice to hear stories of love with fellow trans people!!! Sometimes, I feel like me being trans is a hindrance to finding love and it's something that'll never happen. I want to find love one day but idk if that's ever possible. People used to ask me out as a joke, I never felt like I was "handsome" enough to draw attention. At this point in my life, whatever happens will happen. All I can really do is be more open towards other people. I used to shut myself out from other people because of the crap I've gone through. It would be nice to have someone in my life, it might not happen now or even later but I hope it happens one day, all I can do is just work on who I am for now.
If you are reading this, please, do believe, you will meet someone one day, because you are worthy, every human being is worthy.
Greetings from Austria.
I am a sic, married woman, but I do have a very close friend, who is ftm. He never came out to me, I just understood it and on a very hot summer day noticed the scars after the top surgery. I met him as a guy, so I accepted that without any problems. I never, never asked the questions or brought up the topic, but immediately started watching more trans related content,in order to understand my friend better.
In any case, I am already happily married to my cis husband, so the case of my close ftm friend is just a pure friendship and my business is just love him as a person, support as a friend.
I read your comment here and got a moment of empathy for you. Perhaps, because I had relatively similar feelings and thoughts about myself till I was 24...
@@svitlanasalo1179 Hey there, thank you for your comment, it was very kind of you!!!! I guess I'm just not used to being treated kindly, is all. If it'll happen, it'll happen, is all I can figure for now lol
My mom came out when I was a kid (ftm) he still is fine with us calling him mom and I was young enough and raised in a lgbtq supportive house and it was nothing to me and immediately understood and years later I'm trans mtf and it's kinda weird looking at stories of uncomfort in trans but it's still cool
Lovely video. I'm always relieved when Jamie does some more positive videos. It feels like a very necessary breath of fresh air.
I'm non-binary and came out as such about 4 1/2 years ago. My spouse (together for 10 years, married for 5) has been my rock. A minor bit of friction does come from the fact he still identifies, at least somewhat, as heterosexual. Because of my AGAB, it makes me uncomfortable. But at the same time, I don't ever wish to dictate how anyone else sees themselves. He has been the absolute best at transitioning pronoun use (I exclusively use they/them) and can frequently be my champion when I ask him for help correcting others. Hearing the stories of other couples who began life one way and then had a queering of the status quo end up living life with fullness and love gives me such joy and hope.
I know a guy who is gay and in his 70's, he has always identified as gay. A few years ago he started dating a trans woman who is also over 70, and had just come out. She made a decision that because of her age, she would only socially transition. She still has a male body, and my gay friend is attracted to male bodies. He sees her as a woman but still calls himself gay. Sometimes things are complex, because humans are complex. While there is a huge overlap in the sex you are attracted to and the gender you are attracted to, they are still 2 separate things.
My wife and most of my crushes are either trans or at least gender non-conforming. Authentic people are the best! Also I've noticed I always have some sort of shared background with trans folks- if they're afab, we may have had similar puberty woes, and trans women often enjoy sharing beauty routines etc!
This video was so freaking adorable omg! My amazing girlfriend and I are both trans girls and I am seriously so happy to be with her, I am so lucky that she ended up liking me back and I love her so much c:. Us both being trans hasn’t affected the relationship too much, it’s something that we were both very aware of for a long time before we started dating so there wasn’t really any shock or anything there lol, but I think one good way that it’s affected me at least is that I feel like she can understand a lot of what I often go through because she’s also trans, and because of that, she is so amazing whenever she’s comforting me about something, especially when it’s trans related, she can just instantly understand what I’m going through and is just always so amazing!!! Honestly I don’t really know why I’m rambling on so much about this lol, I guess I just wanted to share how amazing my gf is lol, anyway, if anyone read all of this, thank you and I hope you have a good day lmao c:
This was such a sweet video ^v^. it reminded me of my own relationship w my boyfriend. He's a cis gay guy & I'm a pre-t pan trans guy & he's always been cool w me exactly as I am & that's my story of trans joy >w
Hey, to any trans people reading this, I'd like some advice:
We all know that chasers (people who date trans people solely because they're trans and fetishize them) are bad. But is it problematic for a cis person to have a preference towards trans people as long as that's not their sole or main reason for liking them (i.e. being trans is a factor, but not a bigger one than personality or shared interests), and as long as they aren't creepy or disrespectful towards them?
This is based on a comment I saw under Jamie's previous video.
EDIT: Thanks for your responses so far! The general consensus seems to be that it's OK to have a preference (something my offline agender friend also agrees with), though I admit that there can be concerns. My advice is that you should definitely remember to treat your trans partner (or partners!) as a person first and foremost. As long as you do that, and as long as your partner(s) is/are OK with your preference, then both/all of you can live your lives together happily.
I personally think that it's valid to prefer trans people just as long as it isn't disrespectful or fetishizing.
You absolutely can have a preference for genitalia. As long as you don't objectify them or talk them out of getting srs (if they want that) then I see literally no difference to any other prefernce you might have in a person.
It varies based on their reason(s) for preferring trans people, plus a few other factors.
Actually, I get this. I personally don't think it's bad at all.
Prefering trans ppl over cis ppl is as benign as prefering fat ppl over skinny ppl. We all have preferences when it comes to attraction and that's fine so long as you don't fetishize.
My sister (mtf) was in her mid-thirties when she came out. She'd been with the same partner for over a decade, a person my whole family adores. They have a son who was I think maybe seven years old at the time. Within a few months, my sister's partner expressed how they'd been feeling, and my sister said, "That sounds like gender dysphoria." Her partner was shocked to realize that yeah, that was it. So two-and-a-half years later, my sister is engaged to the man (ftm) of her dreams, and they're happier than ever, going on fifteen years together. Both are now on HRT and feel like they're actually who they're supposed to be. My immediate family accepted all of it in stride and provided support, though my mom did go through that grieving process even though she's very accepting and supportive.
I’m a gay cis male and my boyfriend is a trans man. Been together more than a year and I am the hoppiest I have ever been.
You're straight.
@@British_Rogueno, no they are not
@@Megarah0 Yeah, he is.
@@British_Rogue regardless of weather you think trans people are valid or not, he is a man dating someone who is presumably mostly indistinguishable from a cis man. Would you call Jamie’s partner Shaaba gay?
Who?@@Megarah0 Also, stop using slurs.
not necessarily romantic, but i've known my friend for 16 years now, we've known each other since kindergarten. i came out as trans in high school and they were super accepting, but then a few years later they came out as nonbinary! seeing them expressing themself in new ways and getting to come out of their shell has been so wonderful for me to see, they're my best friend and i'm so happy for them :')
We love platonic love too ❤️❤❤️so happy for you and your best friend!!
i'm still questioning but i know i'm not cis. and my partner met me right when i started questioning my gender. i mentioned the potential of me being genderfluid, and i remember his response so vividly. he told me that it's all about my comfort and that nothing he felt about me had changed. that i'm still me. and i cried.
now i'm more leaning towards the trans masc route. but that first talk stuck with me. and i know no matter what i end up doing with my transition, he'll be with me and on my side. and it alleviates a lot of the anxiety that comes with exploring
I came out as a trans girl 10 years into a gay relationship.
We lived for 9 years as straight.
Now I am on the other side of the fence as my now girlfriend came out as a girl too.
Not spmething I expected but I'm happy for her and am excited to be in a lesbian relationship.
I love her even more and its a bit of a Rollercoaster helping me to re-address my own identity and dysphoria issues.
With the one where the wife started hormones when she was asked to wit a bit, PPD is postpartum depression. Pregnancy and birth can cause a lot of hormone issues with the person, so having the wife also start having hormone changes can be stressful.
Regular reminder that you're all awesome, beautiful and valid little spuds, just the way you are ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Love you all ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Ththis means a lot to me. I'm a gay trans guy, I've been single for like 10yrs and my previous partner (the only guy I've dated since coming out... basically went for the first gay man who would have me, big mistake) was awful. He told me he wanted an open relationship because I didn't have the right parts to satisfy him, isolated me from my friends, basically hammered it in that I was sooo lucky to have anyone at all.
I'm still terrified of trying to date. I'm kind of a recluse so I don't really go out, and I'm scared of using the apps in case someone gets violent over me being trans.
But it's nice to know that there's hope for people like me 😢
I'm a trans man, and I've been out for almost 10 years and my mother is finally actively trying to get my pronouns correct. When she was at her least supportive, my partner told my MiL how rough it was on me (though she could see it in how I avoided talking about my mother anyway) and she told my partner "he calls me mom, I'm kind of invested in this" and asked how to support me. A day or so later she asked me what I wanted her to look for souvenir wise cuz she was going on a trip and said "listen, I don't want to be getting you bows if you want ties." And I couldn't stop smiling. When she came back I had cut all my hair off and she immediately complimented my smile and said "I love how free you look with your boy-hair." Since it was the first time she'd really seen me that confident and happy. I'll never forget how tightly she hugged me after that and am so grateful for having an amazing mom, she's not my birth mother but she's the best mom I could ever ask for.
This is making me cry.... I'm so scared that I can never support my partner (mtf) properly...... We live in a red state and I'm afraid I can never figure out how to help them reach where they want to be....
Well, here's something to bear in mind: you _want_ to support her, and that counts for a lot.
Just do your best. The problem isn't you its the government. As long as she knows she has your love and support hopefully you two will be ok.
Got a divorce earlier this year because my husband thought me being Non Binary 'was a phase' even though he was well aware for years before we married. It gives me so much hope to see all the happy stories in the comments! 💙💙💙💙
I’m so sorry that happened… you are valid and he doesn’t deserve you ❤
I can't describe how much I needed this. I realized I'm nonbinary about two or so months ago and its been hard. I've had so many internal battles combined with not being in a place (location-wise) where I can even consider coming out to any but my closest friends. I'm working on moving and getting to a place both physically and emotionally where I can start to be open about who I am. But, one of my biggest worries and concerns, has been finding a partner who accepts me. Seeing not just the struggles but also the successes of so many really helped shine a ray of hope into a particularly difficult time, and I'm so grateful! Thank you Jammi for the amazing content!
the wife who wants her partner to pass, that might never be possible for them anyway. some people gotta make their peace with what they got, and that is a journey. its not possible to push somebody to that. for having done so much research (and good on you for it), there is much you have yet to learn. being trans is sometimes, just awful. coming to terms with every person you meet going forward in your life knowing that you are trans because of how you look is not easy. i can understand being afraid of her partner getting hatecrimed. i live in the deep south and yeah, its a risk. but if you cant move and cant pass, you just have to make your peace with that too.
The most beautiful moment of my life was with my now ex bf, we dated for some time and i (mtf) never told him that im trans, i got very heavily bullied and so now even to this day i struggle to tell people im trans (i wanted to comment on so many vids of jammi but didnt bcs of that) anyway after a few weeks of dating i felt like its not fair hiding it any longer from him so i told him om trans, and his reaction was to hug me and say "i already knew that" without a 2nd though he treated me as a woman, our relationship didnt work out but we are still very close friends
Listened to the book on Audible this week! It was amazing! Thank you for all the hard work you and everyone else put into it! Thank you to everyone who shared their stories for it! Stay amazing! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
I'm trans and my husband is cis. I began my transition in 2004 and had a disastrous end to my first relationship with a cis man in 2011, so disastrous that I didn't even attempt to date again for eight years after that. I met my now husband in 2017 as a friend and we began officially dating in 2019. He loves me for the woman I am, before I met him I had never been close with a man who didn't see me as "one of the boys". But he was different. As I got to know him better I learned about his own struggles growing up in a very religious household and their idea of manhood, discovering his pansexuality and gender nonconformity as a young man and finding solace in the LGBT community. As someone who also struggled with being pushed into a certain idea of maleness as a young kid, I gained a deep understanding of why he never had any reservations with my trans identity. We got married earlier this year; he is my rock, my anchor, my everything.
I (30 cis F) introduced my trans NB partner to your videos, Jamie, and now we watch them all independently but also sometimes together, including this one which we watched together this afternoon and now I'm coming back this evening to comment. I understand what some of the people in your video say about a grieving process about a person and life that doesn't come to fruition because of transitioning, though it does also make me sad to think about because there are so many possibilities that come with transitioning too that I feel are often overlooked. I just wanted to put this out there to people with NB partners that sometimes your life and partnership become more real and more solid after your person comes out. It's like everything that was good and comfortable about us before has become crystalized and there's more to explore in their gender and expression that I get to be a part of and support them in. I understand why sometimes gender transitions can be destabilizing for partners, but also want to voice my contentment and happiness for my partner living more authentically and that action having only positive ramifications in our life and existence as partners.
These were heavy stories, but important to express for betterment to be themselves. I read your book it was nice. I read it to understand better and attempt to be a better ally. I ended up giving it to some friends who has a kid who has realized they are nonbinary. I really liked how it had a part for someone transitioning and one for blokes like me. Thank you for helping me peek into a world I don't know enough about.
I came out to my parrner as trans about 2 years ago now. We ended up breaking up which hurt a lot more because it was about that, but i made it clear that her feelings are very important and i understand that you may not feel the same way anymore. 2 years later, she has been one of my biggest supporters and shows me as much love as she did before(just in different ways now 😋). If it wasn't for her support i wouldn't be where i am now. 4 months into transitioning, and It feeels amazing.
Goddamn Jamie coming out with the Dad joke on the first post immediately. Made me giggle a lot 😂
I really loved these posts!!! So good to hear other peoples views on transitioning. Thanks Jamie!!
Thank you so much for acknowledging the grief process as a normal stage for loved ones even when they still accept and love the trans person. I see a lot of people just rip into loved ones for being anti trans for having any negative emotions at all. It's lovely to see compassion for the loved ones as they support transitioning people.
I feel like a lot of these stories are about two people dating and then one of them comes out as trans. But thats not the only way we find love. My girlfriend only knows me post transition, knew from the start that i was trans and never ones thought of it, even kind of forgets it sometimes? Like not in a way that erases my struggles, she is aware of them and sees them when i need them to be seen, but in a way that shows it doesnt matter to her at all? Love can find you easily after you came out too, I feel like stories like mine are just as important and romantic as those of the couple where the transition happens after they got together.
My mom said she’s proud of you Jamie for posting both positive and negative stories on the trans community
I transitioned after my partner and I had been dating for 5 years (now dating for 8 years). It's been crazy how much we've grown as people and as a couple. We communicate so well and having gone through this together makes me feel like we can tackle anything. We also just had a baby who is 4 months old and he is the chillest little dude. It is so fun going through life together
Me and my wife have been married 5 years now.
I don't think any of the phobes can have ever spent any real time with anyone trans, because had they, there would never be even the idea of an inkling of a question in their heads that the person is exactly who they are and have always been at their core. Gender is intrinsic and biology is an afterthought, sometimes in need of correction.
i dont date trans
My wife is trans, and I've really appreciated that subreddit as a place of solidarity and support from time to time. It can be difficult watching someone you love struggle through the process of figuring out who they are and what they've been suppressing and hiding, but I'm so happy I did because she's the world to me and now everyone gets to know the person I saw when it was just us before. I love her so much.
PPD = PostPartum Depression. Where the hormone levels of the person who gave birth are a little wonky and they get depressed for a period of time after having a baby. It can last anywhere from a few weeks to up to years, I believe. (Not a medical professional and this is just me simplifying it.)
I have been accepting myself as nonbinary for about a year now and have changed names and pronouns. As I’m discovering more about myself and my past and how it all lines up, my spouse has begun to come out of their own shell more and live their own life as a nonbinary person. They’ve always been pretty feminine at home but we’ve found a group of friends who are all queer and neurodivergent and now we’re just a bunch of weird they/thems.
I’ve just fallen in love for the first time, and it’s amazing! We’re both trans, so I love that I can talk to her about anything and she’ll understand. We may not have supportive families but we have each other and we’re happier than ever.
im curious how many people relate here, so im going to put this out there: im demiromantic (or was? i think hrt has changed that) and before that, i had only had 3 crushes, one of which was openly trans at the time, and two others who later came out as nonbinary. the trend continues, with nonbinary people being the most attractive to me, but it feels like my internal processes put two and two together before either one of us knew
I mean it's a well known fact that being nonbinary makes you 100 times hotter but idk
In all seriousness though I have heard trans people who say that they thought they were just gay for dudes pre medical transitioning but then once their body started matching their brain they realized it was just their own dysphoria and actually liked women too. That's just one easy example but anything to be of help
You sound a lot like my girlfriend (I believe she's still comfy with the demiromantic label for herself), although the process of realizing our transness was the other way around for us. She came out two or three years before I did, and had a much more solid view of her identity than I did until I was about 21. Being with her made me look back on my relationships and realize that I'd spent my whole life dating men and hating it in an attempt to "fix" my trans and queer self. Being with her, getting to support her and be supported in the same breath, has been so eye opening and validating (not to mention fun).
It took me a long time to realize, but I finally discovered that I'm a nonbinary demisexual lesbian... But I just shorten it to queer cause that label makes me feel extra comfy lol. Sometimes our brains and bodies can express internal desires in looking for specific partners, sometimes it's the opposite. Human nature is an incredibly nuanced and nonlinear thing, but I think that's what makes it fun.
Very cute! All the feels ❤
Im a cis m and my Trans gf is the love of my life, im bi/pan (still working on that), i have never been happier in a relationship, recently we have been going out and im so proud to hold her hand in public, we went shopping and she got the most amazing dress and coat, before we went out she looked in the mirror and said "i feel really pretty".....simple answer.....you are pretty, seeing her see herself as i see her everyday made me tear up, she is a loveing, beaitiful woman