Reasons Why People Breakup | They Said "I Need To Find Myself"
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 3 апр 2019
- Free Crash Course To Get Your Ex Back Permanently:
3 Expert Secrets To Shift The Balance Of Power In Your favor
↓↓↓ CLICK HERE ↓↓↓
www.love.withmyexagain.com/we...
Need Immediate 1-on-1 Custom-Tailored Coaching?
Schedule A Call With Us
↓↓↓ CLICK HERE ↓↓↓
www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Want To Tell Us More About What You Are Going Through?
↓↓↓ CALL US ↓↓↓
+1.954.806.6775
Reasons Why People Breakup | They Said "I Need To Find Myself"
↓↓↓ READ MORE ↓↓↓
A young lady had reached out to Coach Adrian, telling him that her ex boyfriend broke up with her because he needed to find himself. Quite often, people reach out to Coach Adrian because their exes needs to find themselves, and it’s a topic that is very common and applies to a lot of you all over the world. It's one of the reasons why people breakup and we’re here to give you guidance if you hear those words, “I need to find myself,” “It’s not you it’s me,” “Give me some time.”
One of the most popular reasons why people breakup is they said "I need to find myself." It happens mostly to women, or to people who are dating men who are not fulfilled professionally, and it can also happen to men and women in a time of midlife crisis, or when in an “empty nest.” A lot of times, this need to reinvent oneself, based on the fact that someone is not happy with where they are at this stage of their life, to where they think they would be. Many women have reached out to Coach Adrian over the years because of partners who, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, start to blame the relationship for pain, struggles, or because they are not happy with their life, or specifically, with their professional life.
And you should not take this personally. It’s not your fault. A lot of times when someone tells you they need to find themselves, believe them because it’s true. People are unhappy, and they are not unhappy because of you, or because of the relationship. They are unhappy because of where they are. So give them time and space. Let them realize that they are going to be less happy without you, than they were with the safety net of the relationship.
The mistake that most people make is that they cling on. They cling on because they are afraid to lose their partner, they are afraid that finding themselves will happen with another man or another woman. And because you stand to suck in, or take in that insecurity that your partner has carried with them for quite a while, you latch on, you beg, you plead, you start to devalue your worth, you lower your standards, you try to match your partner’s self worth just out of fear of losing them. That is a recipe for disaster. That is not the way that you want to approach this.
Bet on yourself. Focus on making yourself happy. Choose to take on that challenge of being single as well. And sooner or later, they will realize that they have made a big mistake. That they still have to deal with those same insecurities, and that you’re not there to bail them out, you’re not there to support them, to validate them.
Sometimes it takes a little bit of time. If you’re patient, strong, supportive, in letting them figure themselves out, they will come running back. They WILL come running back. You don’t have to cut off all contact, but you can’t be needy, you can’t chase. You can’t chase someone who tells you that they need to find themselves. You need to give them that space. That is the best breakup advice that we can give you.
↓↓↓MORE ABOUT US↓↓↓
Our Mission is to help people find happiness in love, and to provide individuals and couples with the communication tools and relevant techniques to be together in healthy sustainable relationships.
Over the years we have helped people in all types of breakups, separation and divorces successfully get back together, and I highly encourage you to look into out how we’ve been so successful.
We offer one on one Private Coaching Sessions for individuals who are interested in speeding up the process of breakup recovery and get back together with the person they love quickly by letting our experts guide you personally:
1-On-1 Private Coaching Sessions:
www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
It would truly be our pleasure to help you be and with the one you love, as always keep fighting the good fight and I wish you all the very best.
Subscribe To Love Advice TV To Get Our FREE Daily Videos:
/ withmyexagain
Relevant for this video:
reasons why people breakup ; girlfriend broke up with me to find herself ; i need to find myself ; it's not you it's me ; i need to focus on myself ; they need to find themselves ; giving your ex space ; relationship advice ; how to get your ex back ; how to get back with ex ; how to get your ex girlfriend back ; how to get your ex boyfriend back ; love advice ; love advice tv coach adrian ; with my ex again ; get your ex back ; how to get my ex back ; relationship coaching ; breakup advice ; breakup recovery ; 
Хобби
This is exactly what happened to me this time last year and i managed to stay strong, 6 months after he left we found ourselves back together. It was NOT easy and you should only do it for a person you deeply care for and love but it does work and makes things better in the long run.
Did you have contact sometimes? I saw here after 5 weeks of no contact. She wanted so much to hug me, and she is thinking she is abnormal and have a mental problem. She said she destrojed something inside here, and she will never be in love with someone. Is is so hard. But after 6 weeks and deep reflection and still so much feelings for here i think it worth it to let her do it.
What did you do to get back? No contact ? Occasionally talking ?
Hey how are you now? 😊
@@seraphin8999what did you do ? For y’all to come back and be with each other .
You guys it's easier to accept the break up , cry and listen to music but after a while please do yoursef a favor and find something positive through the pain. Find a project , go to school , start a business and get out there and mingle with people .. All isn't lost , life isn't always about loving someone sometimes it's about your life path.
My girlfriend just left me for this reason and I know she is unhappy and depressed in her life. I support her and this helps get rid of the hurt, knowing I did nothing wrong and that I genuinely care for her. I don't see myself getting back with her and I hope she finds what she's looking for, without me. 😊
How you holding up now
This is what I needed.
What a beautiful perspective
You guys give healthy relationship advice. You express it in a way that allows the listener to take in what is spoken. Not many can do that and give accurate information. Thank you.
Awesome Adrian!! Thank you. My ex broken with me because she is not read to relationship. i´m 9 days with no contact, its been hard, and your videos are helping me a lot. Thank you all!!
I’ve been watching you for 5 years man with 2 different girls this girl I’m dating now is special to me...you’ve helped me build confidence over the years best coach ever and now I’m in this situation again I trust the process again tho!
This is exactly the situation I'm in at the moment. I didn't really understand what he meant by I need to find myself but there are certain circumstances in his life at the moment (professional and legal problems) that his dealing with. He doesn't exactly want to break up but looking for complete space. This video has given me a bit of clarity on the situation 🙏
Thank you for the great advice ..
This is great but actually kind of false. I'm on the receiving end of this as I left my partner a while back. After that I realize I was much happier by myself. The only reason I am stating this is because I don't want everyone having false hope. That their partner will come back. That is just living in a fantasy. I don't think anyone should wait around for their partner to find themselves but live for yourself... and don't get to absorb in it.
Thank you
@@sebabatso6992 ohohoh good point 😂
thank you
It happens when they “think” they can do better and usually they can’t. Dont take them back because they will always harbor some type of animosity towards you no matter how you go about pleasing them .
Love the video and topic thanks!
Ah this is exactly what I’m going through. I didn’t beg at all though. I cried when he called me trying to explain himself but I just said “it’s okay, I understand. You deserve to feel free and happy. I don’t hold it against you”
update?
Hey how are you now? 😊
The worst is telling them "it's ok" when you're hurting......A LOT.... Did he ever come back?. Does the same apply to woman?
Thanks Adrian for being such a great advisor. 😍💞✨💛
My pleasure :) - Coach Adrian
she told me she wanted time to herself and chill but i was never needy or insecure and she told me she wanted to fix things after her space
Really needed to hear this!! Thanks coach!
You're welcome, Olivia :) Glad you tuned in - Coach Adrian
Sounds just like my situation. It’s scary. I’m listening but it so hard to get through
I needed this, much gratitude. !!
You're welcome! Thank you for watching :) - Adrian
Could you talk more about this after doing the NO contact, and this is what they tell you but also wanting to be friends .
Yes bro omg I’m actually going through this and I’m struggling with it because I really feel like it my heart would hurt without my girl
Hey bro I ain’t lying when I say I am going through the same thing!! And I felt the same way and it hurt me but I love this women and she loves me and I really hope she figures it out soon that the grass ain’t greener and I am her only support her family is the seed of the problem and the reason why she is depressed and numb and hope she does come back I love her so much I would do anything for this women! May God please here my prayers🙏🏼
Wow I'm going through this exact situation right now!!! She broke up with me and tried to explain that she needs to "find herself" all these things Adrian is saying is spot on in my situation. It's extremely messing with my head, but I told her I understand, we can be friends still, but we need to have space when I actually hated the very thought of even saying that. I hope the time for her pays off for herself and hopefully me if she wants me back. I feel this is true love I've never shown for someone, to let them go and me left here alone and miserable for the time being. 😭
@@julioortega3340 aye brother how is everything doing rn
This is exactly what I was doing and I'm gonna follow your advice, thank you so much
Thank you for all this advice. God bless
You are so welcome!
How much time is good to give space, no contact??! This just happened to me yesterday... he asked for time to find himself/work on himself, your video is helpful gave me a little peace of mind but I’m struggling to comprehend 💯
This just happened to me. As much as it hurts (so much!) and its confusing because we both admittedly really Love each other, Im not holding out for her to come running back. I want her to find herself too, so that if we do happen to come back together it will be from a less co-dependent place. Some of the hardest work we do have to do on our own, so that we can be more stable and trustworthy partners to others. I plan on opening my heart to new people when I am ready, even though we still may have a good chance down the line.
Same thing happened to me and I know how bad it hurts! But I turned that hurt into support for her because I truly cared for her. I don't see myself getting back with her, I have to move on. Hope you were able to get through this and continue becoming a better you.
stay no contact . if she wants you , she will let you know . do not feed in . if she texts you sayin " hope your well or hope you doin fine " IGNORE ….. ITS NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR ..
Thank you so much, my gf broke up with me yesterday and she said those exact words to me.
Thank you for watching. Hope the video was helpful!
Coach Adrian
Thank you for this!!! This is a VERY TIMELY video and I'm going through it right now.
In my case though, I've left messages and seemed desperate about it, so is it still salvageable?
Oh no I begged too 😳😭
Where are the tips on staying in contact with targeted comments.. That adrian spoke of??
And thk u Adrian great topic.. kinda good timing for my situation
My ex doesn’t know what she’s doing when she graduates college this semester. That’s why she said her heart wasn’t 100% with us right now and that she needs to fix herself. This video hits home and hopefully, time will do its thing and we’ll get back together in the future
How’d it go bro?
Thank you so much. This video is really helpful. My ex said exactly those words that he wasn't happy with me that he needed to find himself & he wanted to be sure whether or not he really wanted to be with me. I was so immature that time. I begged him & chased him. Now, it has been four months without contact, not even on social media anymore as he deactivated all his accounts & ran away. :D Now, I am on my own road to building myself again. Some days I struggle finding out what was wrong & other days my focus is completely on me. I don't even fantasize anymore abt his coming back. Anyway, RUclips channel like this, really helps me a lot. Thanks again to all the amazing coaches here.
Thanks for your positive story, this will help me know that I too can recover from this and continue to become the best version of myself like you.
This made me feel so better inside... I need some deeper answers. How can I contact you?
There are many boundaries in relationship so I quit.. and I did it for myself
Thank you for this video. All the best to you and your team. 👍🏻👊🏻✊🏻
This video is spot on for my current situation. Thank you for your honest and encouraging approach to coaching. I believe in my heart that if you soften your approach, LISTEN and focus on being a better you, anything is possible. I’m not one to ever give up on someone who is good at the core and worth saving. Thank you again! I’ll be in touch.
I'm sure he still in touch with you , since it had been a month ?
I needed to hear this. Thank you very much.
My ExGf today told me that she had to end our relationship because she needed to find herself. I just told her to be the happiest she could be, and that if thats what she needs then thats what i want. I hope she does comeback but I am also done chasing for her as well.
Do you have a video for a man who chose his career over his girlfriend? Thanks.
Then they move on to dating someone else...
Flick3192
Guys move on to find themselves in some other woman :D
I was dating this beautiful woman then after 5 mths she said we need to talk and told me its not working out. I was then told by her thats she has been struggling with depression since she was a teen among other internal issues. She's now a doctor. I have really grown to love appreciate accepted her I wanted to cherish her for the rest of my life. I need help right now because I can't move on it's too painful I really need help she has cut off all communication with me because she said it's too early or too soon to be friends. I really need help I spend my days jus revisiting the memory of us and the breakup. I really can't move on can someone or somebody help me plzz I am begging.
there ex
@@edgarpeters6166 if you found the answer yet just really focus on yourself bro. Do some hobbies go workout Hang with friends you know stuff to get you mind off her. Delete the photos off your phone with her and disconnect with her from all social media. I’m going throughout the same thing now I have talked to my ex in 2 months and that’s what I’ve been doing. I still thinking about her but I haven’t had the feeling of texting her or takkkng to her.
This means they want to see if they can do better but they always come back. Midlife crisis is right. Lower income than mines is right. You are speaking truth. He is less happy without me. Believe that. Wow you are on point bc I lowered my standards going back and forth for a couple months.
I did this to find self love. I didn’t reject him. I just didn’t know if I loved him bc I didn’t know if I loved myself. He did take this as rejection and turned cold hearted towards me and slept with my BFF, so I divorced him. Lol. Staying single since 2004 because I don’t want to hurt myself or another man bc I needed to heal my heart from childhood wounds.
My wife is going through the same thing. It's tempting to shut her out because of the difficulties that come up between us.
Childhood trauma really does effect ones entire future, finding & getting the right help can be life saving.
My best to you, blessings.
Exactly the same thing happened to me but in addition to that she also told me that "All you can do is , try to live happy without me." Any advise for me ?
My ex became depressed over his life. A lot of it has to do with his mother being mentally ill and her latching onto him. I’ve tried encouraging him to get out and go with friends, gym, work. But he chose to stay Him. Ultimately his parents forced him to break up with me and blocked me on everything. I haven’t heard from him since but I’m really worried about his well being.
Days before he begged me to stay cause he loved me and can’t see himself with anyone else. I truly feel like we had a connection deeper then anything. So it hurts me how I couldn’t help him enough.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve been told to wait. But I have no hope cause of his parents being involved.
This is the exact reason I got, we were both very happy together then one day out of the blue I got it’s you it’s me, you’ve not done nothing anything wrong, Don’t think that. It really sucks cause I still really like her.
This happened to me after 8 yrs of marriage. Now divorced and she is in another state. I'm moving on. Hope she is well finding herself.
What about if they are getting the support from someone else? I am not giving them this support. Thanks.
I met one of my soulmates earlier I was 25...He ghosted me, I spent months angry and resentful at him for abandoning me. It's been 2years now and I'm glad he left. I was able to discover a deeper strength I never knew I had. Realizing I had codependent tendencies I was able to release them. They gave me the space and opportunity to reinvent myself. I've learned what it means to truly love unconditionally. I got to experience the grief, hurt, pain, and disappointment that comes with letting go. The process of rebirthing myself has been painful I'm glad we separated, I was able to learn and grow on my own, on my journey as well as to greater appreciate those who stuck by me from day 1 and have consistently loved me for who I am without ever letting me go. Blessed to have angels showering me with love, support, gifts, and joy
Hi! I am going through this now but in the video you said stay in their life with targeted conversations. Does the same apply if you do no contact?
We had been together for 5 years and it was all good, some ups and downs that we had got over in the past, we both love each other very much and she said we had to break up so we can both grow individually, that we were to dependent on one another, and it hurts because I want to improve myself and find my way back to her.
Hey how are you going? If you want I’m happy to message you on FB or instagram?
I suffer from PTSD, and anxiety which leads to my current or ongoing state of depression from military service. I was taking pills thinking this was the answer, and thought I was in a mediocre job below my qualifications just because I hadn’t found what I was meant to do, but unbeknownst to me and my girl of 3 years I have been depressed for a year at least after we moved to AZ from AK together. After two years here I am still in the same job having trouble finding something that provides stability. She is a high performer, owns two businesses and had finally gotten tired of waiting for my potential to produce something. She was also two weeks out from a bikini comp when we had our first really bad fight and I left. A lot of emotions stress hormones on both sides, but I understand where she comes from. The thing that kills me is I know it’s my depression hindering my effort. We have limited contact and my stuff is all packed up in the garage, but we aren’t talking and I have not been able to see my mental health Doc yet. I am an intelligent, healthy, and educated man with ambitions, but something inside me is broken or not being addressed correctly. I know we can work through it after three years of a lot more happiness than struggle, but i don’t know if she can understand or be patient with the healing process I must go through to get better and focus on being the best version of me. To be clear, I want to go home, and work through things, but she is distant now and I am worried she is completely done. My ex wife left me under similar circumstances with my little girl. My girl is strong, I need to focus on me, but I want us back together when she’s ready. All very surreal.
Wouldn’t doing the no contact be giving them what they want? Being they want time and space to find themselves. Even their request to let’s just be friends? Being their friend on their terms when they want, Wouldn’t that be giving them power?
WoW! For the first time after viewing so many videos from you guys this is EXACTLY what my situation is! 2 months ago my girl asked me for space and needed some time to figure herself out. I honestly had no clue of what to do but I felt that getting into no contact would have been the best option. Now seeing this video I feel bad because as Coach Adrian said, you can once in a while, at least from what I picked up, stay in touch. Problem is now... these two months with nothing is it a problem? What can I do to show that I’m here but not needy? I’ve worked on myself and feel I’m doing great, but again, because I care for her so much, as a human and for who she is and could be I am more then willing to stick to following a process and at the right time show her that I’ve grown for myself and I am willing to support ber! What could anyone suggest that made it through positively in getting their ex back? It would mean soooo much to me! This situation is me!!!
Coach Adrian ca peux etre mon breakthrough!!!
I’m in the exact situation bro. I’ve watched a lot of these and from what she told me and what I’ve read is that I need to give her space. The fact that I don’t know how long it’s going to take. Makes me want to pull my hair out. I want nothing but the best for her and for to be happy. She doesn’t want any contact with me. None. I have no idea what to think about that but I have to respect that. I have a few questions for what you did. How long did she take? Was it worth it at the end? Did you keep yourself exclusive for her? Was your relationship stronger and healthier in the end?
I have the same situation right. What happened dude? Did you get her back?
It just happened to me. I have nobody to talk to. This is all I got.
Good afternoon I did not get that from my ex she said that I had to fix the problem with my kids mom and I would never be happy until then. I was happy with her
Ex is 36 with two kids. I’m 28. We were together for almost 7 years and she left me to find herself. I lost my family and I miss them. I love her and I love the kids. She called me a week ago to say we needed 30 days no contact because we were mad at each other and we need to let the anger go. I hope I’m not being strung along.
This really made me feel better. It's been so difficult lately. I did the mistake of communicating too much the first three months post breakup. Now I'm doing no contact, and it's been three weeks. Hopefully I haven't ruined my chances of him coming back. But its fine I need to live my life right now. Thank you so much for your information.
How did it turn out? Any updates?
Yeah do you have any updates?
My gf is a state of I need some time and space for myself. She was single for 9 years before we got together. She is having a midlife crisis of sorts. New job, our relationship, mental health, and body image issues. Myself I'm in the middle of a nasty divorce. Plus I had a very bad accident at work. The everything happens in threes has me at a breaking point. So I'm going to give her all the time and space she needs, I want her in my life. I'm going to live mine in the mean time. It's been 4 weeks so far, I did no contact but it wasn't a wise choice based on her mental health.
This just happened to me. My husband is in midlife crisis and he just left. He said he loves me but he failed at everything in life including making me happy even though that isn’t true at all. He won’t listen to that though. He is like a different person.
It happened to me too.
She is depressed and the break up really hurt her too. I was needy and made mistakes after the break up. Now I’m keep fighting the good fight and doing my thing , we text once in a while and she’s happy to hear from me, I like where things are, I still miss her tho.
Slow and steady Pablo 132. Do you two not meet up in person to catch up? - Coach Adrian
Love Advice TV kinda,we had seen each a couple times after the break up and had a good time, she asked me if we could see each other in the future and I told her yes, but it’s been a while since last time we hang out. I really don’t want to engage at all, I don’t like asking her out, am keeping my hands off approach.
dude same situation. did you approach her or did she approached you first?
so me and my ex were together for almost a year . we fight we did argue . but as i see it now i dont feel like i need him just the idea of what we could have been . so i sugest that all of you give yourself time to heal and give them the space because if you dont they might end up ignoring you bcs you are to needy , just show him what he is missing out on and dont rush things . most of all give yourself time to heal first before you sugest to yourself of beeging back with him/her . in the mean time . hang w friends family and such :)
My ex just told me today he had to find himself what that mean he came over to keep me company I ain't seen him for 8 months and that's what he told me
My boyfriend asked me for space saying that he's going through alot lately. All his friends have jobs except him.He gets pressured by his relatives and families for not getting any jobs which pissed off his mood and later spoils mine too.. Not wanting to talk to me and saying that he don't wanna hurt me by his rude behaviour and all. His whole dream shattered when he feel sick few years back. So he's asking me to give him alone time .. Saying that he needs a long space..
I give him the space he wanted... He thanked me for understanding him and his situation.. I just told him that I'll be there everytime he needs me Or I'm just one call away..
We both love each other so much.. I hope that he'll come back sooner and I'll be waiting for him too.
Would the no contact method work in this situation or do i keep small contact with my ex i struggle with this because we have a child together and need to keep contact do i be myself with him or be really blunt and keep it business
My fiance broke up with me. His excuse was "I need to find myself". He went directly into a rebound relationship and lied to me about it when I asked if there was someone else. He has been this her now for 8 months. After he left I begged and cried. But he was set on being broken up. After I found out about this other woman, I asked him "why would you do that?" He replied " I don't know." It is amazing when I listen to all the videos how similar things happen and the behaviors people exhibit. I am staying in no contact going on 5 months. Still waiting for the light to come on in his head.
Any news yet? 🙂
My bf just recently said this to me but he is still calling or texting me to check on sometimes. He says his heart won’t let him leave me alone. But the distance is kinda making us grow apart.
What if she says she needed space and wanna be friends to get a better bond she need to find herself and still see us getting back together when she ready.
It’s been 9 months. He gives off signs like he wants to come home but he never says it. He recently had something shipped to the apartment, and he asked me “how my love life is going”
I actually made that mistake of pleading with my Ex but from now I will give him the space he demands of me.
I can relate to this. My partner of 12 years has recently just asked to find ourselves. Just a bit of a story about what lead up to this is my partner was hurt in our years together and I’ll be honest I wasn’t the most supportive partner and I did cause a lot of pain which lead us to this point and I am noticing that I was so ignorant that it took a break up for me to notice all the signs.
I moved overseas for her to do this and yes I am obviously missing her so much and the space thing drives me nuts because I’m not use to just blacking her out but I don’t want to devalue my self by begging for her back.
I am trying my hardest to support her needs because i still want to spend the rest of my life together.
I really wish I could know what to do to make her satisfied enough to get back together and regain her trust but I guess that’s what self journeying is all about to understand that it’s not her I’m trying to focus on, it’s me who i need to change for “myself” and that she will see the truth if I am really happy with myself.
We're sorry to hear about this but you got this, brother!
So yes, he had a "plan" for us to take care of some things on our own. But When they "leave" but then don't. It gets complicated and confusing. Then keep luring you in staying in contact pretending to care so you will "stay around". THAT'S when you have to cut off contact. And I didnt. I let him control things per se. I played myself. Not realizing I was allowing him to manipulate me and taking my Love for granted. But when they start having the "grass is greener" syndrome and, "Oh, look at what I can do". Have my cake and eat it too. Things get messy, trust and RESPECT is lost. So even if they say that... try your best to keep focus on you and be mindful that THINGS CAN HAPPEN. People come in, your wants and desires change, they play with your feelings thinking they can come back when they want. YOU have to be in control of YOU. When you purposely put time and space between lovers a lot can happen...if you let it.
Hey Punchy003, the beautiful thing about your comment is that you're not blaming him for the whole situation and are taking responsibility for the situation where you can. That shows growth and maturity :) - Coach Adrian
I’m in this exact situation. My boyfriend lost his job, car broke down right after, so then no money, no way to get to a new job. Horrible cycle to it bring him just all the way down. I was with my boyfriend for about a year (friends for a couple years before that). And I’m very proud of my self-control in not begging, I told him I wanted him to do what he needed to find self-happiness, and essentially left the door open, but told him I would not be waiting. It was the most respectful breakup I’ve ever had, and we both don’t think this is the “end” (though I’m essentially treating it as such). We ended one week ago today, and I’m on day 5 of NC. In a breakup with a man dealing with self-doubt/depression, do you still go about things the same way as any other breakup as far as the no contact, and reestablishing contact at a later time.. or in a situation like this do I need to just wait for him to come to me? I made sure he knew I held no resentment and to feel safe if/when he was ready, but I need to just pretty much wait him out, yeah?
Hey Tiff, yes, he needs to feel and think, "Crap... I lost a great woman because I didn't get over my own sh*t! I need to fix this before I lose her." It's only been 5 days. You need to give him time to REALLY feel the loss. You did good though! Good job! - Coach Adrian
Love Advice TV Yes, I should wait for him to come to me? Or yes that I can establish contact after a good amount of NC? His whole thing is he wasn’t very happy where he was in life financially before, and since losing his job and then his car- it affected absolutely everything around him, down to even just being mentally present for his child. And he said he wrestled with the idea of breaking for a little while in not wanting to lose me, but didn’t know how to give anything right now, that he was so mentally exhausted. I said I understood. He said it was a “right person, wrong time”. We both cried quite a bit, but I never once tried to change his mind. But after our talk ended, he told me he felt so relieved, which really hurt my feelings, though I still stood strong. In watching a lot of these vids after the fact, I actually feel so confident in my actions though. Thank you guys for all that you do.
@@amandatiffany7882 im exact same situation. Is there an update? Happy one i hope
I broke up with the best relationship years ago and still regret it … it was because i needed to find myself even though i had a hard time explaining it because I didn’t know exactly what it was…. Years later what I thought was the love of my life breaks ip with me because i need to (still) find myself… depressed isn’t the right word… this break up has left me very traumatized and insecure… I don’t even talk to anyone at all at the moment (family,friends) im just lost … i do need help but I don’t know where to start… I’ve lost myself even more because i make all my girlfriends my top priority and whole world so when they leave i feel like nothing… now im scared that i wont mentally survive another break up and maybe relationship
Im going through this as we speak i moved. Out for two days i had to come back and we discussed and found what i did wrong i wasnt emotionally there for her through her battle were supposed to get married and out of all of our friends everyone says we have a love story and an unbreakabke bond and suddenly i got hit with this im afraid that if she does leave i can never accept her back as she broke my trust whos to say she woukdnt do it again the pain is crucial but i love this girl with every once in my body she told me she was broken when we met and i put 6 years of work into her i helped her alot i just dont understand why im the problem when she says she still loves me and im extremly supportive in her new carrer change and re invention this reaction scares me and is really complicated im currently goving her space and praying that i can do the work on my end to show her that i want to be there and help her through her tough times
Shit, I’m sorry. Sounds like my story, almost Identical. She’s broken but I’m @ fault for everything that happened in the relationship even though I was really supportive. I’m sorry you had to find out the hard way like I did. I hope you’re doing better than I am.
Hey your story is very relatable to mine. How is everything going now?
Bro im struggling with this now and today it was the first day seeing her at school not being a couple and it was like hurting alot and i screwed up and kept bothering her😔
I wish I would’ve watched this before it’s been two weeks... :((
I'm glad you were able to find the video. Thank you for watching.
Coach Adrian
This really helped me im going through it right now. My partner 29 wants to be alone he's moving out of our home after xmas. His reason is that he just wants to be on his own. He finished his masters in August and he hasn't found work. He bases his value on that as he's turning 30 soon. I'm 5 years older and I try to reassure him most people arent always where they picture themselves at 30. He said he's lost and doesn't know what to do. As hard as it is i'm trying to be supportive logically he's not getting work as we are in lockdown in Ireland and there are not much jobs in his finance field. I love him, my heart is broken but i'm not pleading or begging or fighting with him to stay because I don't want to build resentment and I want him to be happy and fulfilled in himself. I guess only time will tell. Thanks for this video.
My ex broke up with me cuz she said that the trust was broken, I acknowledged that and through the help of your videos I went into no contact and tried to focus more on my own personal development. we've recently started texting each other again and she seems to be more open, we even plan on meeting up for lunch next week, however the problem is that she keeps telling about all the guys that are asking her out and whatnot, and the dates that she's gone to with her male friends who she claims are just her friends and nothing more, so I'm confused, is she doing all this to test me and try to get me jealous because so far i do not react in an emotional or angry way when she tells me this stuff, i try my hardest to show emotional maturity
I’m in this situation and I want to do the right things. We broke up for this reason but I don’t know how to approach it. Do I need to let her come to me even tho we broke up?
My love suffers from PTSD. She's has seen many trigers recently (not from me) and now is unable to feel give love eventho according to her she is IN LOVE with mr.We both truly love each other but she says she needs to learn to love herself first and doesn't want to promise me anything. We brokeup but we are still kind to one another. We even got matching tattoos a few days after breakup. She is moving to her home country to stay with her grandma for a while and then off to anotjer country. She asked me to join her at some poimt after school on her travels. I told her I'll support her and having the title in relationship or not I will be there for her when she needs me. I was on this page a few years ago trying to gey back with an ex that didn't love me. But this time there is love ❤ and love requires hardship and sacrifice
I wishi you all the best and what is meant to happen will happen.
What to do if he ghosts on you ?
My ex told me that and tried to call me yesterday. If he needs to find himself then why would he call me. I don't have anything of his or anything.
This happen to me a couple days ago. 2 years and 3 months, it wasn't easy but we still continue to talk everyday but not a lot. And I have a strong feeling she likes someone else but at the same time I can't assume stuff fast:( and I kinda wanted her to work it out with me and face it together but I feel like I should give her space, and let her be happy. I did told her that I will wait for her, should I wait or should I just let her go ? I saw her everyday and picked her up from work everyday so i have a hard time thinking about it.
I hope all is going well now, im currently going through the same situation, me and my ex girlfriend spend almost 2 years seeing each other every day. And she broke up with me because she needed to find herself. Any update?
What should you do if your ex is vindictive and is turning friends amd family against you?
You should clear up whatever misunderstanding they might have so that they stop turning people against you. Have a conversation with them about it (not a debate or an argument) - Coach Adrian
Since everyone here went through this, does anyone have any updates and what the outcomes some of you had? I’m also going through this right now.
♥️
Hi couch Adrian my ex and I just broke for the same thing. He mention he had doubt and needs to find himself and why he has these doubts. But he still keeps contact with me it been a week in a half. Should I be there and be supportive or just do no contact?
updates?
No coach he left me because of his career , but he doesn’t have realisation , i told him you are doing this 2 nd time , telling you he can’t face me while talking , he made it very clear that he suffer and doesn’t want love from anyone now , he doesn’t want someone to wait , he holded his feelings strong . He did.
My ex told me he didn’t want to talk to me about anything while he was finding himself. He would talk to me about his kid who I was keeping for free. He wanted me to keep her while he ran around and was sneaking women in his house. I broke it off completely. I was being used and his whole line of I need to find myself was BS he just wanted to find himself in some one else’s pants. Luckily it was a phone call from the husband and several other people that told me what was really going on. I am worth more than that and I am happier now with out him. I miss the little girl but there’s nothing I can do. Again I feel so much better taking my life into my own hands and saying no! You won’t treat me this way. Sooooo much better now!
What if your married and they say I need to focus on myself from your spouse
What if he was emotional unavailable ?
He told me he was spiraling and felt there is too much wrong with him. He told me he loved me and cries about me but is being called to be alone right now. I know he is depressed and It hurts me to know I cant do anything because my love for him makes me want to be there for him but I knew I had to let him go. I told him I loved him and would respect his decision. I miss him a lot. I hope we could be together again one day but I don’t want to put my life on pause either.
@fallyhally1234 did he come back!?
my ex of 2 years broke up with me because he wanted to focus on himself right now (with work, personal life etc). he still messages me occasionally and when he does, he apologizes for all the trouble&pain he caused me and one day he hopes i can forgive him for everything.
what should i do? how should i go about this no contact method. should i just blatantly ignore his messages if he texts?
Also my ex thinks my changes now are "fake".
My ex broke up with me in July after 10 months together, we tried to work things out on 2 occasions but I was asking for too much so he decided he doesn’t want a relationship because he doesn’t know what he wants, is confused and feels lost. I was clingy and needy because I was scared to lose him because he is my first love and the person I envision a future with. Now we decided to be friends with benefits but I’m still so in love with him. We saw each other about a week ago and he said every time he sees me he gets confused about everything so he asked for space and time. Now we haven’t spoken for a week and I can’t stop thinking about him. I just want to be together with him!! I don’t know what to do. Please help me coaches! 🙏🏻
As someone who continued sleeping with my ex, I realized I was having sex because I wanted to feel that he loved me because I didn’t love myself. The best thing you can do is walk away. Know your worth. Don’t settle for less than what you really want. If you really love him and want to be with him, don’t settle for the scraps he’s giving you. Set boundaries. If he wants you, he has to meet your standards. Nothing less. You will stay in this cycle if you don’t put your foot down. I personally had to walk away and go no contact. But he respects me so much more since I stopped settling. Now he knows if he wants me in his life, he has to treat me like how I deserve to be treated. Which is like a Queen (:
Will no contact work in this situation? My ex said he needs to find himself and that we’re better off as friends but hasn’t contacted me in 2 weeks
Tati did he back!! My ex do the same thing
Has this worked for anyone ?
Hi coach, actually my gf is now telling she don't have a feeling on me and she need some space and she is trying to move on live herself. But I did a mistake couple of months I runnied with my work so she felt I am not in love with her. Now she is taking the move on. What I can do for this case.
My boyfriend of two years broke up with me today. We've been living together since for a while now and even had plans on expanding our living space. Then, what seems out of no where he said in the morning that our fights are to much and he doesn't know how to handle them. Later in the day he said he needs space, he needs to find himself. He told me it's not me but I can't bring myself to believe it even though it's probably true. At first yeah I broke down in the bathroom and I didn't want to believe it was over. But the thing is, he's done this before. Before, about 6 months in he said he didn't like how fast we were going and we took a break. During that time I was struggling with depression, and fear for what my future looked like. I had a panic attack in the bathroom in the middle of the night and it woke him up. He thought I was having an asthma attack but the paramedic's told him it was a panic attack. He's never seen me have one so he didn't know what to do. The rest of the night he broke down and told me how much he loves me and how he never wants to see me like that. Back to today. After watching this video I do have hope. He's been struggling with work trying to get his certification in I.T. and it hasn't been working out the way he hoped. I didn't think of it the way you explained but I'm starting to see that maybe he's feeling like he's failed. I myself have a stable income and make twice as much as him. I apologized to him for my out burst earlier and told him I just want him to be happy, we need space to really find what we think is missing. I love this man with everything and he's reassured me he loves me too. I won't give up
My husband my best friend of 23 years told me this recently and I just figured it was a way of him getting himself a hall pass I felt as if he just wanted to have sex with different women then try and come back to me but this definitely helps to understand what he means I’ll back off and let him be the man he needs to be for me and our son 🙏🏽
This recently happened to me. I just told her to hit the bricks. She fumbled the ball. Another woman can pick it up. I'm not gonna be a backup while she's letting other guys "work" on her.
Thanks for sharing your story !
I know she said: its not you, its me!! She said: i know, i dont do what it takes fo the realationship, after that I broke up. I emotionally broke really deep, because she didnt give effort for the realationship. After I broke up, I wrote her 2-3 days after that: we need to fight for this, because we love each other. Iam the Type of Person Who want to repair broken things, not waste them... after i told her that, she ignored my Massages, i drive to her Home, to Talk to her father, her father and she saw me in my car an booth drive by me... she looked at me emotionless. Like i was nothing. Thanks Darling.. thanks for telling me how much you love me. First Boy you wanna have kids with? First Big love? Wanna be forever with me? The was people left you, show you how they loved you. She just ignored me. Words lie, actions dont. I always told her that. Iam very sad, i move on, but i still love her. Iam happy, i didnt have seen her since 2 months I think. Iam happy not to see her, because iam affraid of her, you never know, the first time we broke up, i saw her with another Boy. The second, third, fourth and fifth time I saw her with another dudes... I mean, how ofthen can she break a broken heart? I asked her about that, she told me: i didnt know what iam doing. Anyways I wish her all best, because I lovee her, but god gave you a head to think, if she didnt use it right, she will never know what i was for her. Nobody would love her like i did.