What HE'S THINKING When He Wants To BREAK UP With You | Matthew Hussey
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 1 янв 2015
- ►► Want to get him back? Follow the 4 easy techniques in my FREE guide → MakeHimYoursAgain.com
▼
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe to my RUclips channel now.
I post new dating advice videos for you every Sunday.
▼
In this week's episode of LOVELife, I take a call from Sophia to discuss what could have been going through her ex's mind when he broke up with her, as well as how she can move on with her head held high.
Video links at the end -
Should You Stay Friends With An Ex? www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYaFh...
Starting Over After Heartbreak: www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmZ70...
►► FREE DOWNLOAD: “4 Foolproof Tricks to Get Him Begging to Take You Back” → MakeHimYoursAgain.com
▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect With Me… ▼
Blog → www.gettheguy.co.uk/blog/
Facebook → / coachmatthewhussey
Twitter → / matthewhussey 
Развлечения
![Want a Commitment With Him? Do These 2 Things FIRST [+ Free Gift] (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/xZGnG4u8kEs/mqdefault.jpg)
I wish men would use more words than leaving everything unsaid
My ex couldnt even communicate. I had to break up with me for him😐
Smh
My ex had been unhappy for months. MONTHS. AND HE NEVER COMMUNICATED IT TO ME. And then he cheated on me for seven months, while we were living together, instead of doing the respectful thing towards me, and letting me go. Instead of communicating and dealing with conflict like an adult (he's also 30), he handled it like a teenager sneaking behind my back. Although now he's with a 21 year-old who has no self-respect for herself (she was the side piece, I told her he'd been cheating on me with her, and she doesn't want to leave him)
Emma J wow it’s like you are talking through my mouth except we were not living together. I would let them be, keep silence and you’ll see eventually he will come back after he’s done with her (they all come back).
It's pretty simple with men... If he wants to be with you, he will. There's no underlying meaning or anything to interpret. If a guy loves you and wants you, he will move mountains to be with you. If he doesn't he won't.
I'm a woman, but sometimes I just keep quiet and prefer to not say anything. It's more like I'm exasperated. Whatever I said, he'd not believe me and he'd come to his own conclusion so nothing I'd say will matter...why do I come to that conclusions, other discussion and talks have always boiled down to him not believing me or not trusting what I say or feel even when I was being very honest. So...yeah...
If a man wants to make you a priority in his life. He will. Period.
100% I learned this the hard way.
Flutterby 84 not just men, women too. If you’re valuable to the person, they make you a priority
Connor Riccilli yes absolutely! I agree 😊
I agree with you, if everything else is a priority for him and she's in last place he's not the right match for her
I'm The Prize me too unfortunately. I hope you’re happier now.
It makes me so mad that men need to see what's on the other side to only realize it ain't shit and try to come back. That's crazy.
Truly Fucking crazy.
And just mad disrespectful and selfish to the core
That’s because they have unrealistic expectations
Same here. I'm so sick of men trying to find greener grass on the other side of the fence instead of watering the grass they already have. It's bullshit.
Mine came back begged to be back with me he broke up with me 5 days later . Don’t ever take these men back
If he loves you, he will be willing to grow with you, experience life with you. If he doesn’t love you, you will always be an option because if the man loves you, he will never want to see you with another man or picturing you with another man. That’s why, I have decided to truly let him go because I am always an option to him.
VERY WELL SAID
So true.
Thank you for this.
So true. I think the song”When A man loves a woman “ says it all. If a man truly loves a woman he will walk through the gates of hell to keep her, otherwise he’s not enough for you.
I can recommend you to Dr EDIALE is spells and manifestations are the best
Once a man leaves you never go back, period! It will become a continuous pattern and he will feel that you are a doormat. Have some self respect and move on.
Thanks
T- Yes, Regret Nothing. PEACE.
Yep! He'll do it again.
such a reality
Don't want to be someone door mat .. let go ..
Relationships are so tiresome. All hiding, coding, decoding and camouflage.
+Shanebabys Players are good at that.
If girls are better at that, then I need to improve what I'm doing because clearly I don't do enough of it.
"He wasn't excited about the relationship anymore after 2.5 years." Buddy, how do you think people who have been married 25 YEARS manage?
Exactly. People need to stop thinking it's all rainbows and butterflies. No. It's really hard work! The honeymoon phase only lasts so long and then, it takes work to make it last! You get out of it what you put into it, though. If you both work at making it wonderful, it will be wonderful. If you don't, then it won't! It's not hard!!
An ex of mine did that also. He ended up marrying a girl. She cheated on him with a hippie. Kharma does exist.
Oh girl :(
With a hippie tho. I caaaaaaaant!!! 💀
''With a hippie'', hahahaaaa! You deserve better, girl!
Thanks to doctor Uguel for bringing my ex back to me. My girlfriend left me for no reason for almost seven months I did everything possible to bring her back but nothing work out for me until I met a friend of mine who introduced me to doctor Uguel that have help so many people that has relationship or marriage problems. I sent a mail to the email address he gave me and the spell caster responded and tell me not to worry that my ex will come back to me after 3 days. But hopefully my girlfriend comes back to me with much of love and affection. If you have any relationship or marriage problems contact him for solutions to all your problems. His email druguelspellhome1@gmail.com or WhatsApp number +2347056683626.
oh geez
lol... it means he's not done playing and he doesn't want to commit. I've learned that a man can have a mental breakdown in front of you and STILL be lying.
Brandi Miller very true
YES!!!!!
Brandi Miller That would be a narcissistic sociopath.
not true im a guy your talking to a guy that never cries love hurts and it dosen't matter how big muscles he will cry if he is hurt i think girls are selfish
YES!!!! Lies for MONTHS on end! They swear they’re finally telling you everything and bawling their eyes out while lying!
You know what's really frustrating? The lack of communication. If during all those months he was feeling bad about the relationship, he had doubts, whatever, and he didn't say anything about it it's extremely frustrating that he was incapable of communicating with his partner letting her believe everything was all right, and then, all of a sudden he comes up with this speech of "I feel bad, I wanna break up". How do you think that makes us feel? What hurts the most is that if he (meaning every guy in this situation) had opened his mouth before, maybe we could have found a solution together. Maybe not, but at least you both know that you tried. I know that expressing feelings doesn't come easy to all of us, but it's something that we should all try to do. So for everybody out there: don't let everything go so far that there's no return. Speak at the right time.
This. I wish he did this.
+Su Tash This is interesting because I had the same reaction and the host Matthew he addresses that perhaps you missed it but he put a new and very interesting point of view on it. He was saying that the man really cared about her and was hugely conflicted which is why he struggled for months with this and he wasn't able to just make an immediate decision. He said that the caller should if not anything take that as a huge sort of compliment or validation to the relationship. I thought his response was truly well thought out , and really shed light on the male perspective and approach to thinking.
I did get that he valued the relationship, I got the point that Mathew was trying to make. My point is different; it lies on the lack of (or defficient) communication between the partners, which causes most of the problems a couple can have.
omggg!! this happened to me omgg it so true
I think sometimes when a long relationship between younger people in their 20s ends, is not always because there was a problem that needed to be tackled. Sometimes the guy, or even the girl, needs to find out what else is out there for them before they commit to someone for the rest of their lives. Settling down at a young age is easily done but not easy to follow through. The ones who become aware of this are actually making the right choice, especially when they are choosing pain over their comfort zone to begin with.
I’m a guy and this helped me a lot. My girlfriend left me for someone else and I am still in a lot of pain. If you’re a girl and you’re reading this, I hope it helps to know that not all guys are jerks, and that some of us actually go through the same difficulties you are going through. And if you’re a guy, know that you’re not alone and that there’s at least one guy out there who understands your pain.
Its nice to know guys go through the same thing ,
@MMM MMM thank you for your kind words. I am now in a much better place and helping guys who once were in my shoes. I wish this doesn’t ever happen to anyone else, but happening to me has made me stronger. I wish all of you the best. If I could have gotten over it, so can ANYONE. Believe in yourself.
@@drbadzer just got into the same situation as you. My gf just broke up with me out of the blue when i visited her. It hurt to know that you visit her to have fun and ended up she broke up with me 😞
@@simonpra134 stay strong. It will hurt a lot, and it WILL get a lot worse before it gets better. But it WILL get better, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. My prayers go to you my man
@@drbadzer thank you and what should you do if she start to contact me?
A man leaves because he doesn't want you. Men never ever leave something they don't want to lose. If he comes back don't take him back. Don't let a man have to tell you that he doesn't want you twice. There are exceptions but generally, this is the case.
This is why as soon as he dumped with coldness i blocked him everywhere. He wanted to give something i borrowed him back to me...i gave him my dads phone nr and it was my dad that retrieved. The bastard doesnt deserve to see my face. If he ever crosses me on the street i will look straightforward, head up high like he never existed. He will regret this, i was a good listener, i cared. But its not my problem anymore.
Thank you
Yeah learned this
I agree. It's one thing if he is just a little absent, more with his friends then starts paying attention again. But if he keeps everything but dumps you, you were the expendable part of his life.
you write so eloquently and sound so wise!! i agree (even though sometimes we don't follow our own advice, i would know).
If someone TRULY LOVES you with ALL their heart then they wouldnt take the risk of losing you.
spot on :)
Exactly!!!
Aww, aren't you a sweet little fairy tale
I think so too but I never had these feelings so I don't know
right.
I hope Sophia finds someone who deserves her.
You just dont understand what this man is saying
TimshawkTX KSA why???
Yes, it's hard to understand selfishness and commitment phobic men!
me too, best of luck to her ♥️
Liz- Yes, Regret Nothing. PEACE.
This video has 5 years now...I'd love to know what happened in the end. Sofia if you're here let us know!
Same
I was going to comment something similar!
Hes NOT CONFUSED he knew this all before didn't think about her feelings just used her till something better comes along
My work colleague broke up with his girlfriend and would tell me occasionally what was happening in his life.
He said exactly what MH said were the reasons he broke up, 30's, wanted to see what other fish were in the sea etc As an outsider, I observed him... before, during and after the breakup. He looked a mess. Sadly, he hasn't found anyone like her, and worse, his personality has become coarse... He dates. But he talks about it with no feeling. It's hard to describe... He has changed and the softness has gone from his face and eyes. Before and during the breakup he looked like a puppy in love 🥰 now he looks blank. Expressionless...
I am glad I had a chance to see the other side because I think it makes me realise, they're not happy either, when 'they' choose to break up with you.
Maybe I'm cruel, but I don't feel sorry for him. He gambled on finding something "better" and he lost.
He, like many others simply paid the price of greed. "Happiness" can never be found when the search is for "something better!" Give a greedy person the best and he wants something better - never satisfied!
His ex must fucked up with him very nicely after the break up..
The reality of the dating world did not live up to his expectation. This is what I call being punched in the face by life.
A lot of people (especially younger OR less experienced) pass on a “good thing” because they mistakenly believe that good, satisfying relationships with compatible partners are easy to get and replace (possibly “upgrade”). They learn too late that they had something special and took it for granted.
Most people with stable upbringing don’t think too much about being content, comfortable and satisfied. It’s status quo. They don’t appreciate it so it’s easy to give it up for “someone more interesting or stimulating or adventurous.” A good relationship means nothing if you don’t KNOW and APPRECIATE you have something good.
Since I"m a guy and it sounds like he's scared of losing all the ladies by being tied down but if he truly loves you he won't risk losing you trust me I know that feeling
Thanks for speaking on this as a guy. It's nice to be reminded that most guys aren't like the example in this video and there are guys that aren't going to give an excuse that his behavior "is a guy thing". Thanks again.
I am a girl and I agree with you 100%.
HitmanKing Jay you’re handsome
Jay...that's my experience too. A man will not take the chance for other men to snag her if he truly loves a woman.
HitmanKing Jay thank you
I needed to hear this. This woman is literally me right now.
Me too...
Take care and keep strong Annabel. I've been there.
Me too:")
Me 28th...
Same..
He was crying because he cares for you because of all the times you’ve been together but clearly whatever his reasons were, he is no longer in love with you. Been there... hugs...
hello dear, do you need any help? I can help you, it worked for me .., let's talk better💕💕💕
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯?????????💞💞💞💞
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯?????????💞💞💞💞💓🥰🥰🥰??????????????
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯?????????💞💞💞💞💓🥰🥰🥰??????????????
My ex and mine broke up just a week ago. He was my first year long boyfriend but we rarely ever saw eachother because we dont drive, we're working, and he's in university. We were both heartbroken, but his whole thing was that he fell out of love with me because we lost that physical connection. Maybe one day we'll get it back, but as of right now..it hurts so goddamn much
This guys is so good with words he fixed the broken heart I never had haha
Kaynasou lmao
It's true. I cry just listening to him sometimes. :-)
Kaynasou 😂
Kaynasou 😂👏👏👏👍
he was def jealous of her and the lack of communication was him punishing her for it.
I think Matthew is talking about a good man who is truly confused and afraid. But I’m reluctant to trust that this guy is one of them. This girl sounds like such a sweetheart and she deserves someone who is 100% sure about her.
Yep I agree. Plus she sounds so apple pie and a guy who's not yet ready to settle down doesn't stay with apple pie when what he actually wants is usually a huge creamy choux pastry with cream spilling out from all sides.
Yeah, this reads to me like a covert narcissist who already had someone else.
If this was the other way around would you be saying the same thing?
Xavier Triggs Yes!
If someone can’t see the next phase of their life with you in it, or enjoying/coping with the present seems a better option without you, and also lets it go on for months without communicating because they’re trying to think of a way to end it that doesn’t make them look awful when it’ll likely blindside you, then they can’t see your worth and there’s almost no coming back from that. Male, female, young, old and everything in between. Let them go, build your life.
@@mananexus no we all watched how her kids father and everyone did her
Thank you so much. You made me come out of depression. I recently had a breakup and he just said almost the same things, exactly what happened to Sophia. And yes he will regret his loss and suffer because he left for his selfish needs but if someone doesn’t want to fight for me and leaves me because he is confused in his head, he well doesn’t deserve me. Nobody deserves to be treated as a doormat.
Hello friend, I have been on RUclips for many years now telling people how Dr Ediale get my ex back after many years of breakup 💔 it's really work I can believe am with my lover again
Contact him
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯?????????💞💞💞💞💓🥰🥰🥰??????????????
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯?????????💞💞💞💞💓🥰🥰🥰??????????????
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯?????????💞💞💞💞💓🥰🥰🥰??????????????
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯?????????💞💞💞💞💓🥰🥰🥰??????????????
"It's the most exciting realization one can ever have is just how much there is to do in the world and the most depressing realization anyone can have is how little time there is to do it all." -Matthew Hussey
As I'm 28 years old, that line really hit home with me... so true & I'm sure it'll continue to be a driving force for many!
I might not be a dating expert, but if a guy you've been with for that long "all of a sudden" breaks up with you, he usually wants other people.
Exactly, it's not that complicated. I ended a 2 year relationship because I realize I no longer loved nor wanted to be with him anymore. One year later, I got married to someone else and have been married for 15 years. He just wasn't The One.
He's seeing someone else
ELSA BATISTA my boyfriend just did that to me. But he says he did it because our relationship started to be boring.. i don’t know what to believe or think
Not wants, fucks other people already.
Yeah ur right tho
He's a coward. Just like my ex. Same situation: he's 28 and he gave up on me because of work ... He thinks I'm too much for him, he can't offer me the things I deserve (especially his time and commitment) , he says I deserve someone better... But I just think he's not trying enough ...if he loved me, he would fight for this relationship, make time etc.. I feel sorry for the girl, I hope things are better now. Matt, I like your advice!
💖
roxxy_a same situation with my ex
roxxy_a same..
At least he gave you an excuse. I found out my ex real reason for not enough time 4 me was bc he was really engaged smh 😤 such an asshole
roxxy_a in the same situation right now. I thought he was the one. I was not his
i think you're giving this guy too much credit matthew. He's over her. The simple fact is if you want to stay with someone you move heaven and earth to be with them and don't break up with them in the first place. There are many couples in the world that have happy relationships through long distance and difficult circumstances but it works because both people want it to.
As a professional he always tries to avoid just calling people out and putting them down, instead he goes for an understanding and caring approach, he also avoids pointing out idealistic situations where everything and everyone works the way someone wants it to and compare their situation to that. I think he did an excellent job and people in the comments are just speaking from their personal frustration/anger (which isn't very helpful bc every experience is individual and will never compare fully to somebody else's) this is just my take on it though u dont have to agree ^^
@@isapositiva2661 I think the same. Reading the comments is a bad idea in this instance.
true
guys don't really cry/breakdown like that...
one of my frn took back ex after 2 years, she is happily married now..... guy needed journey of self discovery to learn she is the best....
@@arorajivlogs1641 exactly.
Yet sometimes these discoveries get made a little too late in time I guess.
I really do love my guy and he is back too after transforming himself. What he wants with me now is sincere and comes from a place of love. (But we're really young).
I still love him and want to be together but I'm in circumstances where I can't make it work and I fear we won't really have a good time with each other if we try to make it work simply bcz of the distance.
I don't want to let him go at all but I don't see him happy either if I pursue it atm. Not to mention it might negatively impact both our careers.
Life is hard.
People change.
Change isn't enough.
We require a miracle.
The fact that this woman saw a man she loved be vulnerable and cry in front of her and still want to be with him, speaks volumes about her and the work she’s done ✅
Ive seen that and still wanted the man but when it came down to it he couldn't even look me in the face and say what was going on . When we had the TALK he was talking to someone that came back into his life and wanted to see what happens and was reserved for her. Then he says he wants to be friends and he still "cares" about me . You cannot be friends with your ex . He made his choice and it wasn't me .
What kind of people are you surrounded with, to write comment like this
@@antygona-iq8ew agree. wtf? that should be a standard loving thing to be vulnerable and hold space and bring people closer. i can't with the likes on this comment, so weird. the fuck is a relationship to people?
Some men don't want family until they reach 50. I dated someone who confessed about not wanting to marry his girl, when he was in his 30's because he was scared. So as the laws of Karma works, you break someone's heart, someone else breaks yours. The girl happily married someone else, and he lingers in regret, and 20 years later when he did become ready the girls he chose weren't ready for him.
pa! Happens all the time. The universe is fair. Similar experience happened to me. I dated a guy who, I imagined, felt I was too much bc whenever he behaved badly, I spoke up. I became too much to him. Long story short, he staged a scene to breakup. It was hurtful then. I dealt with it to accept the situation. He started to chase a gal he thought was more beautiful. Funny thing, he confessed this to me. The moment he told me, no shade, I knew the gal was never into the real him. She liked him bc of convenience. He chased the gal for months to no avail. They had the talk abt wat would happen, if she graduated then leave for a different city. He said, after he taught it thru, he was unsure she's it to keep the pursuant. They went their separate ways. During this time, gladly pulled bk, as I purged deeply into my school work. After a long time, he send me a long text, he wanted to talk to fessed up to every wrong. I was over it. I said. nvm. let bygone be bygone. He came by my rm anyways to talk, and ahhhh I was exasperated. I told him I was done. It was finiso haha. His last words to me, was "I thought you'd forgiven me." Yes. Of course bc I want to move on with my life. I've no desire to me with u. End of story is, the universe always teaches us our mistake. I'm sure he'll remember this the rest of his life. Althou, I'll forgave him to live on. Life is now peaceful. I was grateful for the experience bc he taught me alot, which prevented me from having to go thru multiple ppl, to learn one lesson at a time. I learned all in one encounter.The pain was temporary.The relief has been joyfilled :).
yaaaay😂😂😂
No contact. Period.
If he comes back...let go. Period.
If he doesn't? Even better
He doesn't know what he had. Let him grow on his own terms and don't let their level make you fall. Stay strong with those who prove they want to be with you.
Easy as that.
Ms. Marie The Book Sniffer - Omg its so easier said then done especially when it's a long relationship!! How do you get over the heart break?💔
Ms. Marie The Book Sniffer agreed
Actually that's a hard decision. But one must think if he or she wants to go through the same emotional bleeding again. Because if he/she did it once, they can do it again... Things never return to what they were before such an episode. That's for sure.
Girls, truly speaking... if ever you happen to be in this sort of situation wherein you wonder if your man thinks about you or not, please please please... LEAVE HIM!!!! Don't waste your time and energy watching these kinda videos, as they won't solve any problem. In fact, it'll give false hopes, and it YOU, Yes YOU.. who'll be suffering and not a guy. So, take my advice, and just focus all your time and energy on your self and those who are worthy of your love, instead of men who make you feel worthless!
But that was literally his advice?
Yes. The crying and comforting him as he dumps you.
never ever be with someone that doesn't value you ..move on thats it..if a man loves you he will make it happen no matter what ..
That advice is so basic.
I hate this line no matter what . If this wud b the case then 5 percent of he real men who exist here wud b married wid their love. Many factors r involved.
@@alizasikandar9031 There is no "real" man, stop with that ridiculous idea.
Ladies, as a 54-year-old, twice-married woman who has also dated many men, I give you this advice:
Live and love freely in the moment. Love them for them, for your time together, what he does for you, your connections, etc.
If you love them because you think he's going to stay with you forever, you love the idea of having a
lasting relationship more than you love him.
If he wants to leave. Don't hate him. Don't feel betrayed. His reasons do not matter.
Reflect on the many good times you shared instead of feeling lost and angry over a future together that didn't happen.
I give the exact advice to men who are heartbroken and angry when their woman leaves them.
no problem then. you can just sleep with guys you meet in bars after your looks are competly gone
Thats stupid. Is this world just ony a throw away society, or what?!
Oh im bored, ill change the guy/women. Oh he hasnt enoough money, bye! Oh i want to use you for 2 years and them ill decide to change my residence.
Its disgusting these days.
Dont you ever ask yourself why doesnt any man want to stay with me? I mean, something in you or in me too, is causing this divorce or break ups too. Its too easy to say good next, please. We have to try to change ourselfs getting better for our dreams. And one day it will last.
My boyfriend of more than two years just broke up with me. I want to thank you, because what you wrote here helped me to feel less lost.
Eliška Linhartová I’m so sorry to hear that.. I’m a week in from my breakup. Besides chats/hang outs with good friends, I’m watching Matthews videos about break ups everyday for encouragement and support. Hope you’ve found something that works! Hang in there lady!! 💕
Cristina Lee We broke up just yesterday! Do these things help? I'm in so much pain
My guy left me after 7 years of relationship saying that he dosen’t love me anymore. I am in a lot of pain. I am 30 and wanted to start a family but instead of standing upto my expectations.. he left. It was out of the blue. He just left. My life was all about him. He never prioritised me and left me like i am nothing.
You are worth everything
@@glizta42 Thank You!! Somedays it is difficult to tell that to yourself as you are filled with self doubt, confusion and you are hurting so much. Thanks for the assurance.
Update?
I’m in the same situation right now. Turning 31. 7,5 years toghether. One year married. He tells me the spark is gone. He wants to be alone. He wants to put his career first. He suddenly doesn’t want to have kids. I’m just devastated. He took away my best years.
@@angelikachylagirl, same here. 1 week after our 6 year anniversary he said the rs is not working and he needs to find himself and develop. Literally everyone I tell his break up reasons to, is puzzled like 'wait, that's it?'. Oh and wanna know what finding himself has looked like? Partying, picking up smoking again, whoring around, quitting vegetarianism. He was so smart and ambitious. He has a Master's in computer science ffs. When he was with me he wabted to buy a house in the woods asap and he enjoyed reading on the sofa Staurday morning. Now he crawls out of pubs at 2 am 😂
Let them go. Do not hold anyone back because it’ll only hurt you in the long run. If, you are meant to be it will be. Do yourself a favor and heal things do get better and more clearer when you heal from this. I promise.
Boyfriend of 1 year admitted to me that he doesn't know if he's ready to commit. In my head, I thought "what the heck were we this whole time then? Telling me you love me and making all these plans?" Because he admitted he wasn't ready, but didn't mean to break my heart (along with him knowing that he is my longest boyfriend), I looked him in the eyes as tears streamed down my face. He attempted to wipe my tears, yet I stopped him and said "If that's what you feel, then there's no reason for me to be here."
I walked to the door to leave his apartment. "You don't have to be like this, I'm sorry" he pleaded as I continued walking out. Looked back at him and told him, "I wish you the very best, and thank you for giving me this experience. I'll let you go because this is what you want and something I have to accept. One day, you will find what you're looking for. Goodbye."
Those kind of guys are simply asshole, selfish narcissist, or at least users and players too.
The hardest thing to do in life.....
Has he reached out yet?
Jade Terlaje classy!!! My heart broke with you! You left with dignity that’s for sure!
Good for you!! It hurts but it's the best to leave and never look back. He wasn't all that worried how much he hurt you, he wouldn't have treated you like that in the first place.
He’s met someone else. When she said that he told her the excitement is gone, he means it. I was on the other side of that scenario. He may care but he’s into someone else and it’s the guilt that had him so emotional. But he gone.
This is me...took me on a freaking birthday holiday then kapuuut...oh yes n said he had a crush on a girl at work...
So obvious. Can't believe Matt missed that key statement. He told her what she wanted to hear. Disappointed.
PREACH!! SPOT ON! 👍🏾🔥💯
@@LydiaZ36 I've learned from listening to so many coaches which, I was so excited about in the beginning, that this industry too, is all about that paper!⚠️💲
You're right.
Everything he said was 100% true. I got broken up with out of the blue a few weeks ago. This guy just decided within a day that he didn’t want to be in a relationship. And we broke up and I took it as a slap in the face to get my shit together. Now I know what I want to do after school. We don’t talk and I don’t want to talk to someone whose chosen to get rid of me. It still hurts n I overthink things everyday but when he said “it’s not your battle” that really helped me think clearly about what I’m overthinking
Did he come back crawling?
It shouldn’t be hard, if its hard its not meant to be its that simple. No matter the circumstances if someone loves you they will make it work, not because they feel obligated but just because they love you
I honestly couldnt allow myself to want after somebody who doesn't want me. I have to much pride, make yourself over and move on. Btw its not that personal... if a guy really wants you NOTHING will deter him, and if he doesnt want you.. he will have a thousand excuses.
'make yourself over', kinda like stop being sad and start being awesome instead :) I like you wording and may use it as a self pep talk in future :)
I used to feel the same way...thought that I wouldn't want someone who didn't want me. To my surprise when I found myself in that scenario I was more focused on emoting and feeling my feelings than pride or embarrassment. To this day I am so happy I expressed my desire to him. I don't know if I'd do that again but I have 0 regrets about it. It's so freeing to just feel. I digress.
He is guilty that why the chinise people have his family
Just leave him in the dust you don't owe him
ccrow06 I think it’s great to respect and honour ones feelings, my point is if a person point blank , clearly rejects you, I would have enough self respect to move on.
The guy who broke up with Sophia wants to sleep with other women because he's approaching 30, and he thinks that he can get better. She should find a man who appreciates her and thinks she's great. This guy is throwing her away from some unknown woman he hopes to meet that's better than her.
U re right !
i totally agree with you on that! i really hope Sophia will be able to get over this loser fast and get someone who would give up anything for her. And when her loser ex comes crawling back, she can just laugh in his face.
I was thinking the same thing, he is running around on you honey. I wish she would write us an update.
Couldn't agree more donna!! A similar situation happened to me a while back and I found out he (we dated for 6 years) has been cheating on me for more than half a year with a girl wayyy his junior and a few other exotic chicks from a facebook sex page thing that god knows where he found it. He tells me he's focused on his career and earning money for our future, so I respected that and gave him all the space he needed. Lies he be tellin'! The pain will go away eventually and it is so liberating to be able to focus on my own growth and goals than be wallowing up in tears and hoping he would change his ways. This is your life! Do what is good for you and walk away with your head held high! All the best to those who are going through such pain
JellySkulls I was thinking that maybe he already cheated, thus the big display of emotion.
I also feel that if he feels like this then clearly he feels something is missing and she should not wait around for him. She should build her life without him. Look after you're needs and heart. I feel you can never say the wrong thing to the right person.. In time she might well feel it was the right thing for her too.
Hes a jerk I would never ever use someone like this if you don't want to settle down Dont instead of hurting someone nice
I'm seeing this video in 2023 and it's been one week since my heart was shattered by my boyfriend just short of our one year anniversary. This was the first relationship for both of us since our respective divorces so we both met with some trauma and baggage. Anyway, your words were EXACTLY what I needed to hear tonight! Thank you so much for this video and for keeping it up all these years. It's very encouraging and is helping me find clarity in this fog of grief.
We make the 1 year mark in a couple weeks and he broke up with me yesterday ... did yours come back?😢
@Adel Ante He did ask for me back and said he made a terrible mistake. But I broke up with him about a month later after his behavior made it clear to me what should have been clear to me much sooner - he wasn't invested and didn't love me anymore. It's devastating regardless of who pulls the plug but acceptance comes easier this time around. He and his three kids were my top priority and I wasn't sure if I even made his top ten list. It's hard to see when your heart is aching, but you deserve better. I do too.
@@radiantrosie how long did it take for him to come back. You used no contact?
@Moog Hescock Yes, I did. It was 5 days. But in hindsight, him coming back wasn't really about him wanting me or being reinvigorated to put more effort into our relationship. And me wanting him back so badly at that time was really me not opening my eyes to what was actually going on, not acknowledging what I truly deserve from a partner, and not seeing what his actions were really communicating.
Tbh, when someone breaks up because ‘I’m too busy to spare you time’ or ‘you deserve better’, take them at their word. You really DO deserve better than them because those phrases are what cowards use when they’re bored of the relationship they’re in and have no moral courage to state the truth- that they’re being callous with your feelings and selfish for their own.
"The right person comes at the wrong time"
Holy shit *takes notes*
My niece and her little boyfriend got together when they were 16... they’re now about 25, still happy and have a little girl. When they first got pregnant I spoke to both of them and gave them the following advice; “if you think that because you got together really young you’re missing out and there’s something better out there, think again. The dating scene sucks, no one gives a shit about you out there. You two have found each other young, you love each other, you’re both good kids... you’re not missing out, trust me, there’s a lot of head cases out there”
I’m so pleased that so far, they’ve listened.
We’re so evolved as human beings, we’ve studied the human condition but some of us and too fucking brain dead to even consider what we know about the human psyche when we have these fleeting feelings and go ahead and do something fucking retarded like break up with our significant other.
We all have the right to seek our own happiness and yeh sometimes people aren’t compatible but the whole “I love you but not IN love with you” that’s a cop out... are you IN love with your dog? Your kids? Your siblings? Your parents?
You gonna banish them from your life too?
That giddy bullshit feeling at the start of a relationship, yeh NOT SUSTAINABLE!!! I look forward to the part just after the limerence where I can actually make a real connection with my SO and get to know who they really are without the fog of the rose coloured glasses. You make dumb decisions when your head is spinning and you’re high on ‘love’ and technically, that ‘love’ feeling used to be classified as mental illness... you get the same rush of dopamine when you’re in “love” that you get from a line of cocaine. People need to educate themselves
This is deep. Thank you.
thats not how men (should) work
well you didn't tell them the truth, you only brainwashed them, especially the "no one gives a shit about you" part, it was terrible. there are a lot of good people out there, they don't know if they got the best they could and neither do you
i'm not saying they should've broken up but you weren't honest with them, you put a false belief in their heads to convince them to stay together
@@Cred1Tor Not going so far as to say she brainwashed them, I’d still have to agree that this was unsolicited and unwarranted advice. The two weren’t on the verge of breaking up, they were pregnant -and likely happily so. They didn’t particularly follow her advice, they just keep doing their thing ; they’d only be following her advice if they were miserable together and stuck together all the same, believing that it was worse out there. OP has a slightly overinflated sense of self-importance, but her niece must have been gracious about it. If I had received such advice in my happy time, I’d have either put that person in their place, or shared a glance with my partner for understanding and patience.
We aren’t evolved.
My boyfriend said the same exact thing . Been dating for 7 years and out of the blue dumped. It’s great to hear from a male perspective. I would constantly ask him to try and explain why this is happening because no one breaks up over a silly thing, but this makes much more sense. 🙏
I’m the same way right now. You’re not alone. ❤️
*#*I PRAY THE UNIVERSE GRANT YOUR HEARD DESIRES WITH MORE LOVE AND COMMITMENT FROM YOUR EX THROUGH THE GREAT MAN OF THE UNIVERSE DR WILSON, WHO HELPED ME RESTORED MY BROKEN HOME. HE CAN MAKE YOUR EX BEG FOR A SECOND CHANCE*#*
*#*Wh'|sapp him for help*#*?¿¿¿??????????????????????????
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯?????????????????????????!!!!?!!$$$$$$$$$$???????
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯?????????????????????????!!!!?!!$$$$$$$$$$???????
Bluntly, when someone ghosts or breaks up with u, they are just not into u anymore.
Anyomore...Anymore! The hell happened to commitment and loyalty?!?
I broke up with my boyfriend and I still loved him and was attracted to him. The relationship just wasn't healthy anymore so I had to make the tough decision of breaking up. Things are not always so black and white.
You can only commit if you feel that she's worth committing to. As much as it stings - in his mind you're just not worth the loyalty. Those two things aren't gone in modern society, it's just that people are more aware of their own worth. Be happy that he broke up with you, because it indirectly tells you that he didn't think that highly of you in the first place.
coraza naoro I would like to disagree I broke it off with a guy because I hurt him once and it’s like I kept hurting him never intentionally so I felt if I wasn’t in his life I wouldn’t be able to hurt him sometimes it’s not always like that thank you
@@sophiasu9430 worst decision you could of made thats being a coward afraid of commitment you sound like my ex 😕 dead ass I feel sorry for your ex you're a coward as bitch
My marriage of 20 years is ending because he’s always felt like he’s missed out because of me and the kids...this video reassured me my decision to let him live the life he thinks he wants .. was the right one...life is too short. I hope one day he realizes we were everything he needed...now I’m going to find me again ❤️
I'm so sorry this happened to you :( He will have realised how much he lost almost straight away, even if he didn't show it. How are you now, 2 years on? If you don't mind me asking! x
yeah, how are you doing these days?
@@RizzaGuia14 I was about to ask that, too lol.
Update?💕
Thank you guys for asking that’s incredibly sweet. He shows up all the time and keeps asking to reconcile. I will never , I couldn’t , too much pain. Kids and I are in therapy, and we’re thriving. I spent many years chasing happiness and now we’re feeling it. Maybe in another two years I’ll have my forever person 🥰
What one person calls trash is someone else's TREASURE!
I'm only a day after break up. I've just watched this video and it made me calmer. Thank you Matthew. Thank you so much!
Am in that right now am so emotional...... Did you manage
@@doreennjagi38 yes, I did :) After a month I felt relief, few weeks later I realized that he wasn't a good person for me. And he never would even I know he's not a bad person after all. Meanwhile the pandemic situation occurred, which only confirmed what I knew so far and that is I couldn't count on him in crisis. I can surely say that, if he asked me today or next week/month/year, if I want to come back to him I would say "no, I'm good the way I am right now :)"
@@magorzatamichalik3935 wow that's great dear... Go go girl. As for me am in a dilemma.... He confessed his mistake and wants me to remain.He says he's sure he can't find the same true love I gave him and he wants a second chance, the truth is that deep down I love him but am still hurt so it's hard for me to decide
@@doreennjagi38 it's hard to advise you anything. I wouldn't be 100% sure if he want to come back because of you or because he couldn't find someone better. I bet Matthew knows how to make that kind of dilemma easier ;). But jokes aside: I can only tell you from my perspective which is if I'm not sure of his intentions I would at least give myself time for me and rethink if this is gonna be good for me.
@@magorzatamichalik3935 yeah dear that's what have exactly done....am trying to take everything easy and examine how everything flows.
Seriously, I think he has met someone else and he feels guilty about it because he now realizes he is crushing someone who loves him. That is why he's crying. He'll get over it pretty quickly. Would love to know how this turned out.
The more you battle with it, the more it goes away. Let him go, he'll come sooner or later. No matter after how many days, or months he'll come back, she would be already enjoying her life. Just don't waste your time meanwhile :)
Rim Bouayad Best comment
This gives me so much reassurance on my ex who left me seven months ago. It feels like you’re talking to me directly. Thank you Matthew. Sobbing so many tears because it’s only hitting me now that I’m allowing myself to grieve. Thank you for this incredible video Matthew. You’re helping so many people alone in their rooms.
My ex boyfriend and I made it to a year, both of us are at challenging periods of our lives.. we decided to part ways to grow individually. We felt that while going through our challenges we were not priortizing ourselves individually.. we decided to have closure and talk about all of these things the night of separating. I shared that I would always have love and care for him in my heart because that is exactly who he was to me.. He also shared the same in return.He was genuinley a good person, that hasnt burdened me in any way, and that is why this felt like the right thing to do. We will continue to focus on our pending challenges, careers individually and have optimism towards returning to one another once again if love and the future permits it.
May anyone experiencing this find strength in their heart, mind, soul.
Pro tip: WE ALL WORK A LOT
💯
Yes!
And we all want to travel and experience different things in life 💯
Facts
"The right person can come at the wrong time" 💔
I for one feel more focused in life when I have a secure partner whom I love and who loves me.
Thank you so much Matthew. This video popped up on my profile the right time. My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago, and for me, it came out of nowhere. But for him? He was thinking about where the relationship was going for about a month. He said that at this point in our relationship that he feels as though we should be in love with each other, and he doesn’t feel that he’s in love with me. I loved him, but I never told him “I love you” because I felt as though the timing wasn’t right anytime I came close to saying it. We’d been dating for 6 months, and I came close to telling him “I love you” several times but I didn’t because I was afraid he wouldn’t feel the same way. My intuition was right. I was right.
This video and advice was really helpful, and I’ll be coming back to it again as I continue to grieve and heal.
Did you get over it? I’m very much in the sane situation. Even made the mistake of calling him after the breakup to tell him in case he would take me back… but he didn’t care. I don’t know how to let it go. I did the most to show him I cared…
When someone dumps you, say goodbye and go live your life. Sometimes it’s just not a good time for the guy.
I agree, some women need to get over it and move on. You can see in this comment section how bitter and angry many of them are.
@@MrLoowiz I hear you! So how exactly are we supposed to move on if we are still in love with that one person? Like what do we do to get him out of our mind? Cause nothing is helping right now
@@PringleandCheese That's your issue, it has nothing to do with the guy nor does it make him a bad person. I know it's hard, I'm not undervaluing your suffering, but the point I was making is that these women tend to react to the suffering with anger and bitterness. That's just childish and malevolent.
I'm no authority on the subject, but if I may give you an advice... focus on other activities or things that you love. If you're suffering over a break up, you're probably thinking about it way more than you should, so something to take your mind off it might just do the trick. The pain won't go away overnight, it's an injury that takes time to heal, and it'll leave a scar. I also wouldn't recommend looking for a new relationship right now... people do so in spite usually to find ways to end the suffering, and they end up hurting other people and even themselves in the process. Do you have any friends you can hang out with? Try it!
@@MrLoowiz I agree with you on the fact that exes are not necessarily bad people. They are just not right for you and you are not right for them. My ex, for example was the most perfect man I have ever met and I am afraid I will never meet anybody like him. But him leaving me does not change the fact that he is the most amazing person out there and any girl who gets him is lucky af!
I have tried doing other things and it works for a while until everything comes back! Its been 8 months and I am honestly sick and tired of missing him. There's no hope of reconciliation and that hurts even more. But I guess I will get over him with time!
You see moving on from his is the most difficult thing I have had to do, so I am even afraid to fall in love again. Cause what if the same thing happens for a second time? But yeah that is my issue and I am trying to work on it.
I think the women who are talking shit about their exes (not all the women of course, maybe a few) have been abused or cheated on. That might explain their anger!
Oh and thanks a lot for the advice. I will definitely do my best to work on it!
@@PringleandCheese I suppose you won't know if you'll be able to fall in love again until you fall in love again. That's just human.
And I take no pity for malevolent women judging men. I've been through a very abusive relationship, and the only person I blame is my ex. Taking on an entire gender is just childish behavior, from women who most probably deserve to be alone for being so hateful.
But back to the topic at hand, yeah... it might happen a second time. What do we know, love is complicated, right? Good thing you're being mature about it and slowly moving on. 8 months is not that long, my abusive relationship lasted for almost 1 month (breaking up was the best thing I did, it really broke me), and I still suffer from it... that was by the end of 2015, so 4 years ago. I'm in a 2 year relationship right now, but I just can't bring myself to deeply love my girlfriend, as to commit for a relationship with marriage as a possibility. That sucks, I feel like the abuse led me to shutdown my feelings, and now I'm cold as ice. While you're fighting to get over your break up, I'm fighting to get over my trauma. I guess we're quite the opposite, even with similar issues, right? The good thing is that we're not filled with prejudice and judging other people.
Dated my Ex for 13 years (since I was 16) and he broke up with me a year ago (2017) Thing is he seems happy while I was devastated. Almost a year later he came back to tell me he made a mistake but at the time I had already accepted the breakup. And was feeling good about myself. I still think about him and I’ll admit I still miss him but it was his loss. I want a family and marriage so if in 13 years he didn’t want to marry me then i doubt it will ever happen at least with me. I guess I wasn’t the one.
B R thank you for sharing sounds the same as what I am going thru now
Sounds like he wasn't the one~
@@Free2LoveDorks i was about to write these words one by one haha
Never go back. So many narcissistic men out there playing the field and trying to have their cake and eat it too.
@@christineherrmann205 evil is real its best to love yourself first and always have your guard up always and lookout for you ,really i couldn't agree with you more, the amount of evil narcissistic men and women out there is crazy and in this case men in relationships they always put themselves first and what seems like cute romantic gestures and so on are mostly just them fulfilling their needs before they pick a date to leave i know there are good men out there but its hard to come by them & why hold your breath live and love yourself am not saying give up on love true love that is but that's not all there is in this life and its always wise to observe someone's behavior and their words before you show any interest in them believe me the words they speak reflect who they are and how they behave too of course its different when they speak a bunch of bull. but you know what they say is true "real eyes realize real lies" just love yourself and don't get played and if you do move on and never look back "go on with your bad self"😘🎉👏💖😎🙌😜
My bf broke up with me 3 days ago after almost a year together. It’s been incredibly hard. Like a piece of my heart is still with him all the time. Especially because he was my first love. I miss him each second of the day. But I do feel this sense of empowerment because I know how much I’m worth and most importantly I know I did everything I could - I put in 110% into making it work. So now it’s out of my hands. I hope I can move on and grow from this, learn from this and become an even better version of myself in the process. ✨
Hope is never lost provided you're still breathing; I will love to recommend to you the same man from Africa that helps me get my ex back
Get in touch with him on what's app +2348159158915✅✅✅✅✅🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Girl I’m in the same place you once were. We can work together to get better. It’ll be alright one day.
Hope you feel better by now. I am at your shoes right now and I know that feeling when every pieces of you were just broken and shattered.
@@evi88 Update: it’s been over a year and I feel like I’ve grown so much more as a person because of the breakup. Like they say; time really does heal all wounds. I can only be grateful for my past relationship because it helped me grow into a better woman. I am at a much much better place and just overall happy and excited about life. Hang in there! Things will all be alright. As difficult and painful as it is - you will make it through to much happier days and learn to love yourself that much more because of this. 🙏🏻❤️
Yo this is fucking amazing. I'm the guy that Matthew is talking about. I legit cried breaking up with my girl after 3 and a half years and every reason he listed was the reason why, incredible. I loved her so much
Did you regret it?
@pn7134 I'm so glad you commented. No! I don't regret it, and I say this with my ex taking to me weekly since we broke up. She's a great person so we're still friends (no benefiting) and I can say I learned so much more about myself being single. I know so much more of why me and her would never work out even though she's still a great person we're just not compatible, and there's nothing wrong with that. She needs a guy who's less sensitive than I am and I need a girl who is more sensitive and emotional. We would literally fight about this in our relationship because I wasn't getting my niece met or she felt I was being overbearing, and then in turn she wouldn't get her needs met. So instead of forcing somebody to be something that they're not, I had to break up with her to go find the person that is just naturally more compatible with me. And as long as I was honest with her about why I was breaking up with her there was nothing wrong but it still hurt like fucking hell. But now that I'm over the hurt know I would have been making a bad decision marrying her. It would have been settling for the rest of my life
Man, two years ago today, a relationship that I wanted to last my lifetime ended, and I REALLY hit rock bottom. But since then... I have learned so much about myself, moved to Asia, travelling the world, found my DREAM, moving to Korea soon, meeting amazing, beautiful people... And all that this has done is made me see the world as you have described it. The world is so so big, and there are so many things to learn and experience and so many people to meet, it's the most beautiful and exciting thing to know. Wouldn't have had things happen any other way. Worthy message to get out there :)
+Claudine Chua You're right :) The world is so big that we can find great people who make our life amazingly beautiful :)
Claudine Chua I appreciate your comment...
I’m going through the toughest time and hoping that everything happens for a reason.. I traveled few countries to get relief and I am traveling more..
God bless you
Wow... Mind blowing! Many people say "It's better for you to move on"/"Show him you're happy with or without him". For the first time this piece of advice has been given with something tangible to work with, that ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE! This has been put so simply and clearly, the first time this advice has felt so down to earth and personal. The past 2 weeks I have been the most depressed ever in my life, and it's terrifying to think that break-ups have this affect on us! Depression makes us also distorts our clarity, its so dangerous! I was going mad trying so hard to battle with it and not knowing what to do or how to get out of this excruciatingly painful situation. Until literally, these words finally connected with me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Matthew. What you're doing is wonderful! Also, thank you Sophia for the question every lady wants answered! 💖
I saw your screen name and thought you were Sophia lol I was gonna ask for an update :)
I thought Sofia sounded pretty brave!! i think she's going to be ok..
SophieMiaSunshine good job kick him to the curve
sophie I have to admit you sound like you deserve a man who values you and never let go. because you are beautiful spirit and girl
I cried listening to your story. I can't imagine the heartbreak from a break up after 2-1/2 years. I hope you find happiness in life again.
I love this video. I finally get it now. The guy who just broke up with me is not ready for a relationship. At least not a serious one. And he's also younger than me so it makes sense. And because I was heartbroken I told him I need my space and can't talk to him. Now all I have to do is live my life to the fullest somehow and make the most of it.
Going through a break up currently. This video is something that I needed to watch and hear. It's been so hard and my depression is not making things easier. He is right the world is a big place and there is so much more to life than being hung up on a guy. Time to create a great life and experience life to its fullest. There are great guys out there and who knows perhaps I will meet a guy that can be better than the one I lost.
Her story was so relevant to me!! I've just been dumped after 4 yrs because he thinks we're too different people at different stages of our life :( it's so heartbreaking. :(
This is so helpful
My boyfriend broke up with me cause he wanted to be alone and single. Never saw it coming.
I feel your pain. I hope you're going better now. I'm just starting to heal now after 2 years.
@@luluah1198 just as many wives cheat on their husband these days with the wife still filing for 75% of the divorces.
Holly Mullen I’m going through this exact situation myself. My boyfriend of 12 years broke up with me to be alone and “figure things out.”
How have you been? What has your experience with moving forward been?
All she has to do is not contact him and in time, he'll be back, Nuff said.
Rock N your all over these break up vids like me man ! Lol you should start making some and your own channel. You got some really good advice bro. Real talk.
Chris Sanchez Thanks, yeah I watch a lot of video's on break ups and relationship advice to see if I had done the right things in the past or were some things I could have done better. In 2012 I was going through a painful break up and that's when I heard there was an actual term called "No Contact" in which I had followed for years already just out of my own instincts and sometimes it worked in getting them to call me back and if it didn't, then oh well, I found out I wasn't that big of a deal to them and I moved on. Just recently I had another break up and I went No Contact but not to get her back, but to just back away and let each day take care of itself and see what happens and be happy with it either way. I've also been with girls when their ex boyfriend was calling their phone like crazy and it just looked so weak and pathetic of those guys to do that, so I've known first hand what girls go through when they deal with an ex and I vowed I wouldn't be like all those other guys that couldn't let go and they got somewhat of a surprise when I did but yeah, all these video's really help give some good basic solid advice and there's no magic to getting someone back, they either love you or they don't , so No Contact should be applied in a way that the person knows it's not always to get someone back but to value yourself enough to not chase someone who clearly doesn't want you and show them they made the wrong move in dumping you. Thanks.
Rock N bro, I have been praying more than I have ever prayed before in my life. I've ask God to heal my heart and make sense of all the bad. Your doing great man because the steps of a good man are ordered by the lord. I have got to believe that all this happened the way it was supposed to. Not even god can make people come to him or love him it's all free will and on the terms of the individual. I don't mean to sound biblical or like a holy roller but bro the time I've spent asking for healing and guidance seem to be helping. Look up "td jakes nothing just happens". Take care bud.
Chris Sanchez I'm a Christian also and I believe in prayer and I think God has his due date for all of us to receive whatever blessings we get in life. Patience is the key and it's tough when your going through hard times. I'll have to look up that video, thanks and you take care also.
Rock N true, i went through the same thing, not only is he back but i finally get the value i deserve
I recently got broken up with last week. After a 2 1/2 year relationship we were high school sweethearts. Meet very young at 17 and fell so deeply in love. God i loved that man and always will. I showed him what real love was. This is the hardest pain i’ve ever had to go through. He didn’t have the same feelings for me anymore which was hard to believe. But i think we met at a wrong time in life. He won’t ever find someone who loved him more than i did. If it’s meant to be it’ll come back.
this really helped me. there's millions of him in world and there's no need to waste my life with thinking about someone who doesn't wanna be with me %100. i still feel an unimaginable pain bt at the same time i feel a little relieved. i will use the time i sacrificed for him to make new hobbies and concentrate on myself.
Sophia sounds like an amazing girl. Her situation reminds me about an experience long ago. My best advice, in connection with Matt, I would say, let him go. Allow him to be free. Have no contact whatsoever with him. Go on and do you. Date. If you happens to meet an amazing man, pursue a relationship with him and keep it moving from there. Truth is He wants to break up so when he foes go on his adventures, he can do whatever without feeling guilty. Thus, allow him to do so bc compelling him to stay, or guilt tripping him to stay, will make things worse. Believe me. He will probably regret this the rest of his life, especially when He sees how free you're and living your life. Live your life hun. You have many more amazing things to experience.
How this make sense? If that guy loves her, he would want her in his life, despite all the hardships. The fact is, he only thinks about his ambitions, his needs, his work, himself.
Love is strong, but not always as strong as the will to live life to the fullest. Especially for men, because they have, objectively, a more rational mind (which isn't always a good thing, by the way) when it comes to love. It's not binary. Maybe he loved you unbelievably much, but he still didn't love you enough to give you the rest of his life. And by the way, as rational as humans are, psychology can be bent out of shape. Maybe he THINKS his priorities are there, but they aren't when he actually looks at the grass on the other side, and notices that, in fact, he was already standing on the greenest grass when he was committed to you.
I agree with you
Guys are so weird. Even if they have everything with a girl, they'll still pull fast ones like this...
Kassandra Kairo
Because they are sluts and always want another woman if they feel they can get more.
I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Sure, a man can still love you and break up not because he doesn't but because he needs to focus on himself. It's especially difficult to be in a relationship when your man isn't assured of himself, and in return can ultimately damage the relationship you two have as a whole. it's not selfish, it's being rational and I believe we, women, should respect men for that particular reason, and vice versa.
CRYING 😭😭😭 I resonate so much! So much clarity... I feel this exactly.
This was a good quality conversation on a tough relationship topic/experience that many of us struggle with.
They all Do this. Not comunicating at all! Tired of kissing frogs and investing time and feelings, to end up with toads! :(
yes😞
i found that between me and my ex she was the one that refused to communicate with me.
exactly.. I even start to wonder if it's worth to try once again in the future.
who's "they"? ALL men? or ones you met in a bar?
furthermore, if a woman seems like she's weighing other options(men) ,why WOULDN'T her guy just move on as soon as he can find a new women?
why should he wait around for the axe to fall?
Yes I feel like they’re all toads seriously.
Um, I gotta say, being on the receiving end of a breakup is WAY worse. The other may experience a kind of existential crisis, but at least at least it's not a personal rejection. At least they're not plagued with the thought that it took the other no time to move on from you. The thought that they might have made he wrong choice seems light in comparison to the idea that there's something inherently wrong with you.
actually in my experience breaking up with someone is way worse because your the one who made the decision. Depends on the case but if it's a decision which is not based on hate it can be so so so hard.
The key is that he thought about it for months with out a single thought of speaking with her and seeing if there was an alternative. So yeah, it was no time to her, or him if she dumped him.
My ex broke up with me, and I don't blame myself, I blame him for being a liar, portrayed himself as something he was not. He lied to me, there is something inherently wrong with him. My bad was not picking up on it.
@@janbadinski7126 That's right, he's been suffering for months. If you understand the pain of anxiety, you'll understand how terrible it must have been for him - which is why he couldn't contain himself when breaking up, and broke down in tears.
@@jazziered142 Move on, stop being salty and attacking him.
You will only know how spot on this advice is when you have lived this situation.
What an actual nice approach towards processing a breakup like that. Thanks man, needed this. 👏👏👏
Coping up the break up:
1.Grieve
2.Build yourself
3. Be objective...evaluate
4. Take it slow,relax wisely.
5. Live your life with or without the guy...build new connections ♥
I am liking this coach.lol
#real,authentic & relevant
I wish there was some kind of an update from all those people that called Matthew.. you know just to see how did things work out for them ..
I second this! I'm fairly curious how the callers are doing, esp. those whose situations are similar to mine.
It's always the same person :) you can tell by the voice...
What does the LACK of such follow up tell you?
i swear the universe had this video put in my path. this scenario is almost identical to mine and this message is so powerful
I will never ever convince another soul on this earth to ever stay with me again!... what's meant for me will always stay.
Sometimes people on the receiving end of this situation (being dumped) need to be reminded that there are plenty of partners who insist on keeping their significant other around while they are fighting and working so hard through their careers, etc. because they truly value that special someone knowing, sharing and growing together with them through that part of their inevitable success, though failures may happen too. If a man/(person) really values both his career and his woman, he will keep her by his side, not kick her out of his life. Work as some kind of excuse is just a convenient cop-out. He is taking advantage of her love & kindness in that he's counting on the likelihood that she will do and agree to anything for him to keep him happy, even if it means having to let let him go. He's also selfishly counting on the fact that she will eventually get better/over him, so that way he can walk away maintaining a cleaner sense of conscience. If your significant other does tries to tell you this story, you must do the same to them: kick them out of your life, politely of course, but firmly and swiftly!
My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago. I've seen this video a few times already. It has really helped me not feeling lost. It was a very similar situation, it was difficult for the both of us, but I think Matthew is right whe he says "he can't realise that it is the wrong decision by staying". I think only time will tell if we should be together or apart, and right now the best thing I can do is move on and improve myself. So thank you for this video :)
Ângela Brum thank you for this comment. You are 100% correct
I wish you the very best Angela. Stay strong and have a great life
How are you right now? It's been 10 months since this comment. I wish you well
Solid thoughts.
Me as well, my ex broke up with me about a month ago, it’s been tough, it’s been hard. But this video gave me such comfort that I feel like I can breathe again. So me2 thank you for this video
Going through the same thing right now and it's hard. Like really hard, but realizing all of this helps so much to move forward to a new chapter in life! I'm thankful for the time I spent with him and I understood over the past few days, that I have to let him go and let him find himself, otherwise the relationship wouldn't work. Thanks Matthew for getting some light in this situation!
What a gentle response to a hard question. Thank you. Life is what you make it. Sophia thank you for sharing.
I think the relationship wasnt as exciting anymore and he wants to be free again, so he blames it on work etc etc If he really was in love with her then he wouldnt be leaving
No true Scotsman fallacy all over your comment. Stop with that shit.
They forced him to leave because his family got burnt
Yer he works so much on his new affair more like it 👌
Whenever I watch his videos, it makes me imagine a double cheese burger telling a starving person that's its ok to be hungry and there are so many food out there...
Ujjaini Mukherjee that’s so fucking funny xD
Just watching this and I can't belive its six years later, and this video is still so real, so on point and so explains exactly everything perfectly I dare to say. Matthew is a legend, amazing work.
This sounds like exactly what he was trying to tell me with the little words he used for why he wanted to break up. Thank you for helping me understand his feelings and thoughts.
You are never bound to anyone who leaves. Let them go. Mourn and move on.
My ex who's also my bestfriend decided that we should take time off from each other.
I am still devastated but trying to be better.
When someone tells you that they want their freedom but they care for you, it is one of those moments in your life where you question your worth as a person. Am I not enough?
Out of all the videos I have seen, this one helped me understand the other person. And I feel it is best to also empathize with them because they are hurting too.
I don't think that the best way to get over is to forget them totally since they have been a great part of you life. But rather just focus on yourself this time and realize that there are other good things waiting ahead of you.
Wow! Matthew, you've gotta gift to feel, a gift to explain... and the experience and wisdom to hit the center!!! Thank you!!!
Thank you Mathew🙏🏽 Key take away is that I can re-build an exciting life, instead of sitting and wishing he would come back. Life can be rich and meaningful with other people. Thank you so much for this 💗🌿🙏🏽
My guy broke up with me about 3 weeks ago, and this is hitting home for me now. All of what he’s saying is making so much sense.
I just keep waiting for it to get easier. I miss him everyday.
I still miss my guy and it's been almost 10 months. Instead of guilting myself I allow myself to miss him for a few moments then carry on with my life. It's ok to feel aka miss someone.
I spent a year and 2 months into someone who just told me a week ago I never wanna lose you Baby girl .... to leave me alone and blocked me everywhere.
@@aprilzoe_4494 😥😥😥 so sorry. It doesn't seem like it now but you'll get through it. I found this free online thing called www.loveiscare.org you can call them for free advice and they have resources. I'm a very grown woman and I called. You're never too young or old to seek advice. Best wishes love ❤❤❤
Aprilzoe _ Wow that is exactly what happened to me. Only it wasn’t a week before but maybe like three weeks and few months before he cried because I didn’t take him back when he broke up with me and made me think he really didn’t want to lose me and then the day of the break up came and he told me hated me that he never wanted anything to do with me and it just all felt like a huge betrayal, like what happened to all those I love yous? And those I want to be with yous? And those let’s get married and have kids? When did you start hating me? Or how can you be so cruel? How do you not realize I believed you and this hurts? So many questions and you can’t get them to answer any of them. It hurts so much and I’m still grieving and I’m still hurting and I feel like I’m losing my mind. Everyone tells you to move on and in your head you are thinking of ways this could have worked out because you remember all the amazing moments you shared and how they can so easily for them just the thrown away just like that as if you don’t matter as if none of it mattered. We also dated for one year and 2 months.
Italgrl1 Same 💔
All these horrible stories that I read in the comment section make me depressed. Don't know if I want to be in love, why go through so much pain!
jennifer b. I guess it’s like a drug. As soon as you know how high you can be when you’re in love, you want that feeling again. Even though there’s also going to be a lot of pain.
@@sahraa857 that pain is not worth it
You can't live in a bubble. Choose the best guy, he could die. It happens.
first, love and accept yourself, and everything else will come much easier.
It’s not love that does the damage, it’s the lack of love that hurts.
He showed tremendous compassion.
I didn’t even had a heartbreak yet I feel like he fixed something inside me with this video. How?!?