I can't even deal with how effing smart this dude is!!!! No one puts it like he does.The gift you have, Matthew, is incredible. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
He's not as smart as he thinks he is. He IS wrong about the invented terms like narcissists. He also is wrong about continuing in a relationship where both unmarried parties want to selfishly still remain together.
I am in the EXACT situation as that girl! He cleared it up for me so much. That's the best relationship advice i've heard yet. My ex is not prioritizing me so why the fuck should I prioritize him? Love it.
@@johnhartsock1891 Love the fact that you detailed the burger type lol but good on you for rising above it. At the same time...be careful not to become the doormat ex.
Do not devalue yourself , know your worth, detach, detach, detach......I recently got out of a relationshiip it lasted for 10 months he wanted friendship it was very confusing . Sometimes he wants to be friends then other times, he wants more, sending mix messages. The longer u stay in the situation the harder it. Ito get out I changed my numbers because I knew he would keep on caliing , two weeks after I changed my number I called him and explained that I had moved on , he was no a happy man ......love yourself enough to walk away. My mind, body and soul feels so free and I feel empowered...Don't be scared to let go......!!!
Jacqueline Knight i m in the same situation.. from last 1 yr... i would break up with him and then afr a month or so he will cm back.. showing no sign of future commitments... and we live across eachother so its very difficult to avoid him... so i blocked him... if he really want a future with me he will cm find a way to come back
I'm a man trying to get my ex girlfriend back and this video opened my eyes I've been trying everything I can to get this feeling back in my life when she chose to walk out of mine and he says his number one rule in a relationship is that the other person has to want to be in it with him that really hit home with me I've been so predictable chasing after this woman that walked out of my life I'm going to get my power back
Breakups can be incredibly hard and bring on depression. I made something amateur talking about my experience of it to help others avoid the mistakes i made trying to get back with her. If anyone did want to see it simply just type in the following title to search bar above...... Some blokes guide to relationship breakups
Richard Gonzalez I realize this was 3 years ago when you posted this comment but for the past 3 months, I’ve been doing exactly what you said, trying to get her back when she was the one who chose to walk away. I feel like such an idiot for investing so much time into trying to work it out when she didn’t even want to be in it anyways. Thanks for your post; it gave me some much needed strength tonight 👊🏽
Nobody is good at break up because all us are humans who are vulnerable in nature. But to tell you honestly break up is not the end of the world, it's a blessing in disguise that teach you a lesson in life. Don't feel bad for yourself because nothing is permanent in this world, so as with your heartaches.
Veronica! Do as Matthew told you to! Tell him to move on with a friendly smile on your face! No drama, no begging, no more arguing, no tears etc. Draw the line! And walk away. Keep in mind that you are worth much more than letting someone use you for his pleasure. Because that's definitely what's going on. When you end this in a friendly but firm way it will make you feel SO GOOD.
I just got broken up with yesterday after 3 years with this guy and I love him so much but he told me he just didn't want me anymore and it breaks my heart... I wish Matt could talk to me and help me.
yeah... how can you just build something with someone for 3 years and then decide that you dont want to anymore. mine guy was so good to me. said all the right things.. made me feel so happy. but now he is cold. and when he dumped me, he did it so harshly... how do people change so much. i miss my best friend it hurts so damn bad.
Soloworth i wish I had an answer to that... I loved this guy with every ounce of my soul and even though we weren't perfect it just wasn't enough for him... we were living together and got a dog and then all of a sudden he was just done....My whole world fell through my hands and I couldn't do anything but watch.... we just need to remember that not all people have the same heart as us... somehow we will get through this..
Ileena Zarate yeah. We don't have a choice but to move forward. It's been 2 weeks for me and with each passing day I get just a little better. A LIITTLE. I'm still so broken and have no motivation. I miss him more than I've ever missed anything. But I know people who have gotten through it and I know we can too... somehow
I am going through the exact same thing as you right now. Im hurting so much inside and I feel like I'm never gonna be okay. I was with him for 3 years too... my whole world was him. He gave up when I needed him to hold on so much. I hope you are doing better now after 4 months. I'm just starting out... and I'm utterly afraid...
ashleyashley t it's heartbreaking but 4 months has gone by and even though I still miss him I know I have to just do me and now I'm going to school and work out and just focus on me and whatever happens will happen💕 it's hard right now I know believe me but I hope it gets better for you!
Shivani Nayak your so right! I just found his videos today and it's the first time I haven't had tears running down my face since my breakup 2 weeks ago. This dude so calming, so rational I can't get enough of his videos
This is gold. I am sitting in India, going through the same thing. Exact same thing. Felt so isolated, but really happy to have found this. Matthew is right, the guy is selfish, he chose his own convenience over letting me heal and move on.
Hey Matt! I've had my heart broken recently. Watching your videos has really helped me make sense of what's happened. It still hurts but it hurts less everyday.
This... literally made me cry... Too close to home. Too close. Thank you for your advice. Though I've pretty much done all you have said, it doesn't take the pain away and I believe that's the hardest part of letting someone go.
I recently started watching Matthew and I have to say: you are a brilliant, extraordinary man and your work is amazing, helping people go through some hard times in their life, your words is keeping me moving forward with my life, you are a special being, thank you for dedicating your time in helping others and you have so much passion in what you do, really amazing.
This is so good. Thank you. I was stuck in this exact same situation for a while. It sucked and I finally let him go and stood up for myself. This is so good.
I love your work and totally respect you Matthew but I just came out of a 2 year relationship with multiple breakups and every time I broke up with him, nearly every time, he used the same excuse to get near me again, before I had had any chance at all to heal, and the excuse was: I need to give you this or I need to get my stuff. So, this last time, I made d@mn sure I had not left a single souvenir for him to come back on. Because!!! I am too nice, a pushover really. I mean, I loved him but I can look out into my life and see long term and knew it wouldn't work but when he'd return, my heart would open right back up. So, at least in my case, it is definitely best to have ZERO contact and so far it is working. I had to break my own heart to get away in complete faith that in time true love will be when it's right.
When it hurts or when one is having trouble moving on and keeping distance I think non contact is always better. What Matthew said would be the ideal if one had enough boundaries and emotional distance, but when it's not the case I rather come across as bitter and ask the person to do non contact for the time being. It's for my own good and letting go of the hope of getting back together. I don't need to "manipulate" a person into realising how special and carefree I am.
Kriss I'm just like you except this is happening right now... and I work with this person. Zero contact isn't an option for me :( *edit: I've actually never gotten to be in an official relationship with this person, but he's been "stringing" me along for two years with sweet words of going camping secretly, telling people at work that we are hanging out outside of work, going on actual dates, saying that he loves me...
The problem is not the break up itself, but how it happens and how it's done. Some people are just cruel and heartless. Some crazy cowards running around...people now break-up through social media, whats app...it's pathetic. Vermin behavior. The person doesn't have the guts nor the respect to look you in the eye and tell you.
@@426snn same here hun , he told me stories his mom passed away then now he told me he’s married . Apperantly i almost got pregnant he wanted a child I wanted as well and suddenly he vanished . Funny stories guys do lol I expect maybe from 18 years old but not from 36 year old , any ways let’s hang there
BTW Matthew's advise works the other direction too. My ex, whom I see everyday because of work, also wanted to continue our "friendship" as if nothing ever happened romantically. It doesn't work that way. You have to have time of separation in order to heal and forget. My ex would get so offended and bent out of shape over the fact that I didn't want to spend time with her anymore. Now it's turned into this crazy awkwardness.
Thank you for what you do, things are so much clearer the more I listen to you. I broke up with someone a couple days ago because he wasn’t investing even though he was the one so worried about us having a title. He was distant , unaffectionate... I told him what I deserved and he said he was sorry if his actions harmed me.... No harm here, I deserve better ... I’m sad but I know it’s only because of my thought of what I wanted it to be , not what it was ..
As soon as you move on its funny how they go from stringing you along to suddenly being desperate for contact from you..... a week after I went cold turkey on a girl who was strining me along and showing no interest she suddenlt sends me a message telling me how im the best thing since sliced bread. its so tempting to go back but I know my worth.
dude is smart....I'm about to get out of this spider web I'm in, if it where left up to my boyfriend he would never end this mess.... Thank you Matthew you just confirmed what I have been thinking from day one.......I love my life alone.😉
This hit home and couldn't have come at a better time. Thank you Matt, kudos to you for doing what you do. This advice is definitely going to help me a lot!
for me it didnt everytime i watch a video of matthew i cry more im hurt and alone and i dont have anybody to talk with ,as you see im replying an old comment im helpless
When it hurts or when one is having trouble moving on and keeping distance I think non contact is always better. What Matthew said would be the ideal if one had enough boundaries and emotional distance, but when it's not the case I rather come across as bitter and ask the person to do non contact for the time being. It's for my own good and letting go of the hope of getting back together. I don't need to "manipulate" a person into realising how special and carefree I am. You had your time, now let me move on and respect that.
'When it hurts or when one is having trouble moving on and keeping distance I think non contact is always better' But This is so not easy, the hardest thing ever.
This is my absolute favorite video. I play it at least once a day while I’m going through my break up and it remind me of my worth honestly. Thank you so much ❤️
Dr Steve can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
Fabulous answer Matthew totally agree, she is allowing too much unacceptable disrespectful behaviour and compromising herself, so letting go is a great idea. I liked your advice about being light and friendly in letting go and moving on, thank you :)
Omg😣 I was in one of those and I finally walked because I know my worth and it's a waste of time. It's having their cake and eating it too..freedom and you. It's not selfish to put your needs first. 🌺❤
Why the hell didn't I find this long ago? I even went to a therapist for a short period and he couldn't even put it this clearly. Well done you Matthew !!
I just saw this video and made me cry because I have the same exact situation with Veronica😭 My ex boyfriend dumped me last month and he wanted casual relationship as well and he was a selfish prick because he dumped me but keeps texting and messaging me but day by day I am still broken into pieces what he did to me and I don't know what to do. But thank you for making this video now I know what to do and move on with my life☺️
my bf is going overseas and we ended off mutually bc LDR isnt gona work...hes migrating. jesus. i just came back from the airport and im feeling utterly miserable..
Same here, except we tried to make it work for 2 years. She threw in the towel just over a week ago, apparently she isn't in love anymore and doesn't want to try. The difficult part is coming to terms that no one is to blame. It's rough.
Been in a LDR for almost 2 years and we've been together for 5 years total and a couple of months ago she told me we should take a break. It fucking hurts bad, real deep, especially, like you said, since no one here is really to blame. And she's this amazing woman who I was ready to propose because I knew deep down inside this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. So to hell with LDR!
I just got broken up with and I have never felt so unbelievably miserable. He never really put work into this relationship and he's probably not even sad that it's over, which is like a punch in the face. I just wished for it to work out.
He is such an amazing person. I've been watching his videos from the moment I started having a crush on my ex boyfriend to the moment he broke up with me a few weeks ago. Going through this fresh break up is hard but Matthew makes it seem like there's going to be something good at the end of it. Thank you so much.
I really appreciate that you take the time to acknowledge the feelings. Even though you do this over and over again. Also you know the answer is simple... let go. But you take the time to acknowledge how much it hurts. Thank you.
Dr Frank can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him....
Wow beautiful.....gr8 advice I was in same situation for almost 5 years.....couldn't move on after she broke up with me n she took full advantage n played with my emotions n used me in lota ways...now I came to know she was selfish....she used me n now she is geting married with someone else. I was DUM
Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.
Hello lovely I can Introduce you to “DR ARZIANA” the same powerful relationship restorer who helped me recover back my ex. He can help you to get back with yours with much love.
I like the way you listen to your audience. I went through this kind of situation once and words as yours helped me to understand, accept an move on. But at first, I cried a river! At that moment it hurt a lot but it makes me the strong person I am now. Thanks for your wise words!
That was good advice. Real good. Loved how he broke it down. His advice applies equally to men who've been dumped and are struggling through the pain. Going through it myself right now.
The man basically wants to keep his options open like any man always does. He wants his ego deep stroked, and it’s the most selfish and hurtful thing you can do to someone.
In my experience, I’ve learned that either someone really wants to be with you or they don’t. It’s that simple. Relationships shouldn’t be extremely hard all the time. Both people need to give attention, put in effort, be supportive and understanding, and be loving. It can’t be one sided or only one person fighting for it to work. The relationship shouldn’t be confusing and you’re questioning if it’s right. If there are any doubts at all, then that person just isn’t for you. Period. Find that person that brings out the best in you and someone that you’re genuinely happy with. Find someone where there are zero doubts. It’ll take time, but that person will eventually come along out of nowhere and you’ll realize why the others didn’t work out.
100% truth. Been in this bullshit scenario too many times. I thought it meant something to him when he came back, after we broke up. But i was shunned and ignored afterwards, hurt so so much. Had to restart the healing process all over again. The saddest thing is facing, ultimately I did it to myself, by allowing it. I just wanted the pain to stop for a minute💔 Start no contact ...again ! My full heart of compassion to all those who are in pain right now. Take the best care of You xoxo
Thank you! A real big thank you :) Your words are touching me :) And a big hug for everyone who's heart is broken! We are getting through this together :)
I'm exactly in same situation with her, and it's really hard to be cool.. because even when she told me to break up, I was dreaming our future. I still like her. She was all my first. it's really tough
This guy is a master of telling women what they want to hear, justifying their passive-aggressiveness in an articulate way. Don't do the acting and trying to manipulate him. Just give his things back say goodbye and stick with it. Not fancy, it won't warm your heart, but it works. The moment he breaks up with you, the person you think he is and the person he really is, diverge, and he becomes someone else. Keep the memory of your idea of him and move on.
You are a genius. The two step question makes sense in so many aspects of life. Then your number one criteria for being in a relationship, wow, I can't believe that wasn't on my list, I never even thought about it that way. Thank you Matthew!!
If you are heart broken and wish to win your ex back forever, I can introduce you to someone who helped me! My husband shot me out for almost a year but mr OLOWO, a very powerful spell caster helped me bring him back with his power and today we are living happy. .Message him on whatsapp for help via +2348089339042.i promise to tell the world about him!
off the topic but I'm 36 years old never married. I have trouble finding good men, they either just want one thing, or too old or young for me.am I just picky I just don't feel attracted to them
I can relate to this 100% even the wedding part! I often think that I'm the only one with a certain problem but this made me realize that many people go through the same thing. This is definitely the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I've been depressed for the past month. She says she loves me more than anything but she can't be with me. It's a long distance thing. Anyways, thanks for the great advice I greatly appreciate it.
Thank you for making these videoes. I am going through a rough time right now after my boyfriend for 4,5 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago. It helps just listening to your advices. Hopefully one day they will sink in with me.
A big thank you to you. I had a similar thing happen. I had a roommate? Friend? Lover? do the same thing. He took me to tour his childhood neighborhood but he said," now don't read anything into this". He also said he came so close to deciding on me but he couldn't because he's at the end of his life and doesn't want to spend it in a relationship. I wishhe had not said he came so close. It's like darn, missed it by a hair. It's been two months now and the horrible roller coaster trying to get over it. But thanks to you and your videos my days are easier to get through
Dr Frank Love Spell can restore back your broken relationship back to it's perfections. I'm a testimony on how he restored back my broken Relationship of 10 Years by bringing Back my ex. Dr Frank is highly recommended to to you he can help you
This has helped me greatly. I was feeling heartache over someone and the advise and strategies you gave her was spot on. I will be sure to use them similarly I'm my situation. Thank you
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I can't even deal with how effing smart this dude is!!!! No one puts it like he does.The gift you have, Matthew, is incredible. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
COULDN'T AGREE MORE
beautifully articulated, personal to Sofia and very smart. especially as it’s off the bat. So good!
I thought the same thing, the cheek of him! Such entitled behaviour. Such selfishness!
Literally in this position now. And Mathew just puts it in a way that makes you instantly value yourself.
He's not as smart as he thinks he is. He IS wrong about the invented terms like narcissists. He also is wrong about continuing in a relationship where both unmarried parties want to selfishly still remain together.
I am in the EXACT situation as that girl! He cleared it up for me so much. That's the best relationship advice i've heard yet. My ex is not prioritizing me so why the fuck should I prioritize him? Love it.
I agree. U treat ex as u would treat the stranger: respectfully friendly but cold
So true
@@joliebabe {{{9 0808
I treated my ex to a Burger King Whopper after I saw her French kissing with one of my worst enemies
Thank you,this may be my answer
@@johnhartsock1891 Love the fact that you detailed the burger type lol but good on you for rising above it. At the same time...be careful not to become the doormat ex.
Broken heart hurts ❤️💓 May everyone who is reading this, get the answer to what they have been looking for ❤️🙏 Amen
Thank you 🙏♥️
Ameen,Thank you
Do not devalue yourself , know your worth, detach, detach, detach......I recently got out of a relationshiip it lasted for 10 months he wanted friendship it was very confusing . Sometimes he wants to be friends then other times, he wants more, sending mix messages. The longer u stay in the situation the harder it. Ito get out I changed my numbers because I knew he would keep on caliing , two weeks after I changed my number I called him and explained that I had moved on , he was no a happy man ......love yourself enough to walk away. My mind, body and soul feels so free and I feel empowered...Don't be scared to let go......!!!
Jacqueline Knight i m in the same situation.. from last 1 yr... i would break up with him and then afr a month or so he will cm back.. showing no sign of future commitments... and we live across eachother so its very difficult to avoid him... so i blocked him... if he really want a future with me he will cm find a way to come back
Why tell him. Just go no contact. He doesn't deserve another moment of your time. He'll get the message.
LOVE THIS!!! YES QUEEN!
Thank you so much
Thanks so much for this I will definitely don't b scared to let go though it hurt but I hv to
Whenever I feel the pain starting again, I just come here and watch your videos, and it helps me tremendously!! Thank you Matthew!!
Me too
Same!
I'm a man trying to get my ex girlfriend back and this video opened my eyes I've been trying everything I can to get this feeling back in my life when she chose to walk out of mine and he says his number one rule in a relationship is that the other person has to want to be in it with him that really hit home with me I've been so predictable chasing after this woman that walked out of my life I'm going to get my power back
yesssss !!!!! :)))))
To me, also, I found the "the other person has to want to be in it" rule to be a light-bulb moment. It makes a lot of sense.
Same here
Breakups can be incredibly hard and bring on depression. I made something amateur talking about my experience of it to help others avoid the mistakes i made trying to get back with her. If anyone did want to see it simply just type in the following title to search bar above...... Some blokes guide to relationship breakups
Richard Gonzalez I realize this was 3 years ago when you posted this comment but for the past 3 months, I’ve been doing exactly what you said, trying to get her back when she was the one who chose to walk away. I feel like such an idiot for investing so much time into trying to work it out when she didn’t even want to be in it anyways. Thanks for your post; it gave me some much needed strength tonight 👊🏽
Nobody is good at break up because all us are humans who are vulnerable in nature. But to tell you honestly break up is not the end of the world, it's a blessing in disguise that teach you a lesson in life. Don't feel bad for yourself because nothing is permanent in this world, so as with your heartaches.
I teared up
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you
🙌🙏
I needed this tonight
Veronica! Do as Matthew told you to! Tell him to move on with a friendly smile on your face! No drama, no begging, no more arguing, no tears etc. Draw the line! And walk away. Keep in mind that you are worth much more than letting someone use you for his pleasure. Because that's definitely what's going on. When you end this in a friendly but firm way it will make you feel SO GOOD.
No contact rule will give you the upper hand and give you time to reflect and heal.
I'm struggling to do this
I just got broken up with yesterday after 3 years with this guy and I love him so much but he told me he just didn't want me anymore and it breaks my heart... I wish Matt could talk to me and help me.
yeah... how can you just build something with someone for 3 years and then decide that you dont want to anymore. mine guy was so good to me. said all the right things.. made me feel so happy. but now he is cold. and when he dumped me, he did it so harshly... how do people change so much. i miss my best friend it hurts so damn bad.
Soloworth i wish I had an answer to that... I loved this guy with every ounce of my soul and even though we weren't perfect it just wasn't enough for him... we were living together and got a dog and then all of a sudden he was just done....My whole world fell through my hands and I couldn't do anything but watch.... we just need to remember that not all people have the same heart as us... somehow we will get through this..
Ileena Zarate yeah. We don't have a choice but to move forward. It's been 2 weeks for me and with each passing day I get just a little better. A LIITTLE. I'm still so broken and have no motivation. I miss him more than I've ever missed anything. But I know people who have gotten through it and I know we can too... somehow
I am going through the exact same thing as you right now. Im hurting so much inside and I feel like I'm never gonna be okay. I was with him for 3 years too... my whole world was him. He gave up when I needed him to hold on so much. I hope you are doing better now after 4 months. I'm just starting out... and I'm utterly afraid...
ashleyashley t it's heartbreaking but 4 months has gone by and even though I still miss him I know I have to just do me and now I'm going to school and work out and just focus on me and whatever happens will happen💕 it's hard right now I know believe me but I hope it gets better for you!
Seriously..!! Your words heal..!!
People who just broke up must listen to you..!!
I m feeling a whole lot more better..!!
Thank you so much sir..!!
Hi
Shivani Nayak i
Shivani Nayak your so right! I just found his videos today and it's the first time I haven't had tears running down my face since my breakup 2 weeks ago. This dude so calming, so rational I can't get enough of his videos
Matthew saved my life so many times
This is gold. I am sitting in India, going through the same thing. Exact same thing. Felt so isolated, but really happy to have found this. Matthew is right, the guy is selfish, he chose his own convenience over letting me heal and move on.
Everyone deserves to be loved but love is too hard and if you do it wrong it can shit on your heart.
+Michael Moen You cannot have phrased it better
+Michael Moen Well said mate
Well love is currently shitting on my heart.
This is so accurate
trueeeeeee :(((
Just went through a break up last night and UGH i wish i could listen to this guy talk for hours so I can get my self worth back.
This man has been pivotal in my mindset through my breakup. He makes it so clear and it makes complete sense. Amazing.
I'm the only guy here who follows Matthew and also take his advices serious even though they are meant for women?
I listen to Matthew as well. I learn a lot about women from listening to him.
That makes You a very special guy
This is very applicable in reverse
Psychedelic Pain same
His advice is really good for conscious men too.
Matthew is just brilliant
hey
Seriously! I used some of this advice in my videos and it is great advice!
Hey Matt! I've had my heart broken recently. Watching your videos has really helped me make sense of what's happened. It still hurts but it hurts less everyday.
This... literally made me cry... Too close to home. Too close. Thank you for your advice. Though I've pretty much done all you have said, it doesn't take the pain away and I believe that's the hardest part of letting someone go.
That was brilliant!!! No bitterness just move on.. Leaving a strong impression what a strong woman you are 👌
Asela loves joy.Do you want your ex back within 24 hours from now
+2348061628616 quickly contact him okay
Wow I just experienced a break up and wish I could talk with Matthew!!
I recently started watching Matthew and I have to say: you are a brilliant, extraordinary man and your work is amazing, helping people go through some hard times in their life, your words is keeping me moving forward with my life, you are a special being, thank you for dedicating your time in helping others and you have so much passion in what you do, really amazing.
This is so good. Thank you. I was stuck in this exact same situation for a while. It sucked and I finally let him go and stood up for myself. This is so good.
I love your work and totally respect you Matthew but I just came out of a 2 year relationship with multiple breakups and every time I broke up with him, nearly every time, he used the same excuse to get near me again, before I had had any chance at all to heal, and the excuse was: I need to give you this or I need to get my stuff. So, this last time, I made d@mn sure I had not left a single souvenir for him to come back on. Because!!! I am too nice, a pushover really. I mean, I loved him but I can look out into my life and see long term and knew it wouldn't work but when he'd return, my heart would open right back up. So, at least in my case, it is definitely best to have ZERO contact and so far it is working. I had to break my own heart to get away in complete faith that in time true love will be when it's right.
When it hurts or when one is having trouble moving on and keeping distance I think non contact is always better. What Matthew said would be the ideal if one had enough boundaries and emotional distance, but when it's not the case I rather come across as bitter and ask the person to do non contact for the time being. It's for my own good and letting go of the hope of getting back together. I don't need to "manipulate" a person into realising how special and carefree I am.
Kriss I'm just like you except this is happening right now... and I work with this person. Zero contact isn't an option for me :(
*edit: I've actually never gotten to be in an official relationship with this person, but he's been "stringing" me along for two years with sweet words of going camping secretly, telling people at work that we are hanging out outside of work, going on actual dates, saying that he loves me...
multiple brakeups are clear sign that he may be a bit not normal person. Check out book "Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare" by Shahida Arabi
The problem is not the break up itself, but how it happens and how it's done.
Some people are just cruel and heartless.
Some crazy cowards running around...people now break-up through social media, whats app...it's pathetic.
Vermin behavior.
The person doesn't have the guts nor the respect to look you in the eye and tell you.
This is so true Hockey Mask Time...how they leave tells you a lot
My bf broke up with me over the phone. He's too coward to do it in person and it's been a week since he last responded to my text.
@@426snn same here hun , he told me stories his mom passed away then now he told me he’s married . Apperantly i almost got pregnant he wanted a child I wanted as well and suddenly he vanished . Funny stories guys do lol I expect maybe from 18 years old but not from 36 year old , any ways let’s hang there
@@426snn at least he called you, my gf dumped me messenger :)
Yesss! Period 🙏🏻
BTW Matthew's advise works the other direction too. My ex, whom I see everyday because of work, also wanted to continue our "friendship" as if nothing ever happened romantically. It doesn't work that way. You have to have time of separation in order to heal and forget. My ex would get so offended and bent out of shape over the fact that I didn't want to spend time with her anymore. Now it's turned into this crazy awkwardness.
That’s the definition of self respect right there
well said "you have to want to be in it with me" very good criteria!
"I’m dead to you now” oh god I still hear these words like the first time they’ve been told to me.
@@brooke_bailey228 thank you darling
Thank you for what you do, things are so much clearer the more I listen to you.
I broke up with someone a couple days ago because he wasn’t investing even though he was the one so worried about us having a title. He was distant , unaffectionate... I told him what I deserved and he said he was sorry if his actions harmed me.... No harm here, I deserve better ... I’m sad but I know it’s only because of my thought of what I wanted it to be , not what it was ..
As soon as you move on its funny how they go from stringing you along to suddenly being desperate for contact from you..... a week after I went cold turkey on a girl who was strining me along and showing no interest she suddenlt sends me a message telling me how im the best thing since sliced bread. its so tempting to go back but I know my worth.
dude is smart....I'm about to get out of this spider web I'm in, if it where left up to my boyfriend he would never end this mess.... Thank you Matthew you just confirmed what I have been thinking from day one.......I love my life alone.😉
Everytime i have i breakup always comming and listen to this just to reminding myself what i should be doing
This hit home and couldn't have come at a better time. Thank you Matt, kudos to you for doing what you do. This advice is definitely going to help me a lot!
I feel like I watched this at the right time during my breakup! All I do is watch Matthew! I love his advice and it makes a lot of sense!
for me it didnt everytime i watch a video of matthew i cry more im hurt and alone and i dont have anybody to talk with ,as you see im replying an old comment im helpless
When it hurts or when one is having trouble moving on and keeping distance I think non contact is always better. What Matthew said would be the ideal if one had enough boundaries and emotional distance, but when it's not the case I rather come across as bitter and ask the person to do non contact for the time being. It's for my own good and letting go of the hope of getting back together. I don't need to "manipulate" a person into realising how special and carefree I am. You had your time, now let me move on and respect that.
'When it hurts or when one is having trouble moving on and keeping distance I think non contact is always better' But This is so not easy, the hardest thing ever.
This is my absolute favorite video. I play it at least once a day while I’m going through my break up and it remind me of my worth honestly. Thank you so much ❤️
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@@lucyclark3920 I do not want me ex back. But thank you ! ❤️
you have already given me understanding. Thank you so much! The pain is so hard to get over. I'm old, but it still hurts!
Just wow the clarity is next level 👌
This video helped me so much. Thank you Matthew and team - this type of situation is so difficult and your answer is compassionate and spot on.
why I didn t found this one week ago before all the drama I caused? daaaaaaaaamn. I have to grow uo, ty a lot!
Fabulous answer Matthew totally agree, she is allowing too much unacceptable disrespectful behaviour and compromising herself, so letting go is a great idea. I liked your advice about being light and friendly in letting go and moving on, thank you :)
In a similar situation, and I find this SO helpful. I appreciate your compassionate and empathetic way Matthew
Omg😣 I was in one of those and I finally walked because I know my worth and it's a waste of time. It's having their cake and eating it too..freedom and you.
It's not selfish to put your needs first. 🌺❤
Why the hell didn't I find this long ago? I even went to a therapist for a short period and he couldn't even put it this clearly. Well done you Matthew !!
When we like someone we can be so blind. Matt is definitely the type of person we need to hear advices from 👏👏👏 you're so amazing !!!! 😍
This is spot on. Word for word, detail for detail. Open your eyes.
I just saw this video and made me cry because I have the same exact situation with Veronica😭 My ex boyfriend dumped me last month and he wanted casual relationship as well and he was a selfish prick because he dumped me but keeps texting and messaging me but day by day I am still broken into pieces what he did to me and I don't know what to do. But thank you for making this video now I know what to do and move on with my life☺️
my bf is going overseas and we ended off mutually bc LDR isnt gona work...hes migrating. jesus. i just came back from the airport and im feeling utterly miserable..
same with me. he's headed to Austria and i chose not to leave family and friends. its horrible
Same here, except we tried to make it work for 2 years. She threw in the towel just over a week ago, apparently she isn't in love anymore and doesn't want to try. The difficult part is coming to terms that no one is to blame. It's rough.
Been in a LDR for almost 2 years and we've been together for 5 years total and a couple of months ago she told me we should take a break. It fucking hurts bad, real deep, especially, like you said, since no one here is really to blame. And she's this amazing woman who I was ready to propose because I knew deep down inside this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. So to hell with LDR!
I broke it off with my ex for a similar reason. He was so understanding and so willing to still be friends and it made me fall for him even more...
I just got broken up with and I have never felt so unbelievably miserable. He never really put work into this relationship and he's probably not even sad that it's over, which is like a punch in the face. I just wished for it to work out.
He is such an amazing person. I've been watching his videos from the moment I started having a crush on my ex boyfriend to the moment he broke up with me a few weeks ago. Going through this fresh break up is hard but Matthew makes it seem like there's going to be something good at the end of it. Thank you so much.
I really appreciate that you take the time to acknowledge the feelings. Even though you do this over and over again. Also you know the answer is simple... let go. But you take the time to acknowledge how much it hurts. Thank you.
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You're amazing Matthew! Great advice to a woman that deserves respect.
this couldn't have been more perfect for me to hear right now. thank you matthew for all that you do.
Wow beautiful.....gr8 advice I was in same situation for almost 5 years.....couldn't move on after she broke up with me n she took full advantage n played with my emotions n used me in lota ways...now I came to know she was selfish....she used me n now she is geting married with someone else. I was DUM
Karma is a bitch bro. Remember that
Don't worry better girl will come to you:)
After 18 years of being alone than finding a guy i love yet still feeling my old insecurities this man helps me understand its going to be okay
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Matthew is a genius.. this would destroy me as a man. He knows his stuff.
I like the way you listen to your audience. I went through this kind of situation once and words as yours helped me to understand, accept an move on. But at first, I cried a river! At that moment it hurt a lot but it makes me the strong person I am now. Thanks for your wise words!
Wow that was the best break up advice I've ever heard. Thank you for sharing this info as it has helped me deal with my break up two days ago
That was good advice. Real good. Loved how he broke it down. His advice applies equally to men who've been dumped and are struggling through the pain. Going through it myself right now.
The man basically wants to keep his options open like any man always does. He wants his ego deep stroked, and it’s the most selfish and hurtful thing you can do to someone.
In my experience, I’ve learned that either someone really wants to be with you or they don’t. It’s that simple. Relationships shouldn’t be extremely hard all the time. Both people need to give attention, put in effort, be supportive and understanding, and be loving. It can’t be one sided or only one person fighting for it to work. The relationship shouldn’t be confusing and you’re questioning if it’s right. If there are any doubts at all, then that person just isn’t for you. Period. Find that person that brings out the best in you and someone that you’re genuinely happy with. Find someone where there are zero doubts. It’ll take time, but that person will eventually come along out of nowhere and you’ll realize why the others didn’t work out.
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I really needed to hear this right now.
100% truth. Been in this bullshit scenario too many times. I thought it meant something to him when he came back, after we broke up. But i was shunned and ignored afterwards, hurt so so much. Had to restart the healing process all over again. The saddest thing is facing, ultimately I did it to myself, by allowing it.
I just wanted the pain to stop for a minute💔 Start no contact ...again ! My full heart of compassion to all those who are in pain right now. Take the best care of You xoxo
Thank you! A real big thank you :) Your words are touching me :)
And a big hug for everyone who's heart is broken! We are getting through this together :)
It's NOT complicated! It's really clear.
I am in a similar situation and absolutely needed to hear this! Thank you!
Standing & applauding well done sir, well done. exactly right! It's hard but u r worth more!
Wow exact thing just happened to me! I can admit to being the cause of the breakup but these follow up points are awesome!
05:52 that moment is precious and that's a golden advice there
Is it crazy to think that you're really cute?
I'm exactly in same situation with her, and it's really hard to be cool.. because even when she told me to break up, I was dreaming our future. I still like her. She was all my first. it's really tough
wish I watched this video 1.7 yrs back.. I wud ve had more sense not to end up with a jerk..
This guy is a master of telling women what they want to hear, justifying their passive-aggressiveness in an articulate way. Don't do the acting and trying to manipulate him. Just give his things back say goodbye and stick with it. Not fancy, it won't warm your heart, but it works. The moment he breaks up with you, the person you think he is and the person he really is, diverge, and he becomes someone else. Keep the memory of your idea of him and move on.
Loved this! Great advice
You are a genius. The two step question makes sense in so many aspects of life. Then your number one criteria for being in a relationship, wow, I can't believe that wasn't on my list, I never even thought about it that way. Thank you Matthew!!
I must watch this video every day. So useful 😭❤
If you are heart broken and wish to win your ex back forever,
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Everytime I get confused I go back to this video...and it really helps me a looot to get back to my senses
off the topic but I'm 36 years old never married. I have trouble finding good men, they either just want one thing, or too old or young for me.am I just picky I just don't feel attracted to them
I can relate to this 100% even the wedding part! I often think that I'm the only one with a certain problem but this made me realize that many people go through the same thing. This is definitely the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I've been depressed for the past month. She says she loves me more than anything but she can't be with me. It's a long distance thing. Anyways, thanks for the great advice I greatly appreciate it.
that was perfect!!! exactly what i needed!!! you are great!! thank you so much!
Treat people the way you want to be treated!
He has so much wisdom
Treat them with respect, you may exchange a couple of messages back and forth, but don´t make a huge deal out of it, I think that´s a great advise.
Great advice! Going through the same exact thing!
This helped me incredibly. I’m in this same situation. Different ppl gave similar advice. This video can save somebody’s LIFE.
Fantastic advice! Jus what I needed to hear👌🏾
Thank you for making these videoes. I am going through a rough time right now after my boyfriend for 4,5 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago. It helps just listening to your advices. Hopefully one day they will sink in with me.
Omg im just in same situation but im the guy from here! Oh noo :(
This is exactly where I am right now and thank you so much for the guidance…. I really wanted someone to show me the clarity…
Great show I loved it :)
Matthew....wisdom beyond years!
This is what I needed to hear
Damn... that’s good advice, and thanks to Veronica for letting the rest of us know we’re not alone. Both parties articulated that in a great way.
Love how straight you shoot!!! Spot on advice.
A big thank you to you. I had a similar thing happen. I had a roommate? Friend? Lover? do the same thing. He took me to tour his childhood neighborhood but he said," now don't read anything into this". He also said he came so close to deciding on me but he couldn't because he's at the end of his life and doesn't want to spend it in a relationship. I wishhe had not said he came so close. It's like darn, missed it by a hair. It's been two months now and the horrible roller coaster trying to get over it. But thanks to you and your videos my days are easier to get through
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This has helped me greatly. I was feeling heartache over someone and the advise and strategies you gave her was spot on. I will be sure to use them similarly I'm my situation. Thank you
Your incredible mathew