AITA for backing up my wife in grounding my daughter for how she spoke about her teacher?
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- Опубликовано: 7 май 2024
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Story: AITA for backing up my wife in grounding my daughter for how she spoke about her teacher?
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I mean don't punish her for not liking her teachers but maybe for using derogatory teems to describe them
fair point
Okay, heres the thing that MANY aren't understanding. Its okay for a child to complain and not like a teacher. And they also shouldn't give gifts if they dont like any of their teachers. However, what ISN'T okay is that the girl immediately starts insulting, cussing out and saying horrible things about said teachers. Said things would be understandable if it was true about the teachers, I've HAD teachers at ny school that were just the absolute worst (not mine exactly, but others and many others hated them for that exact same reason). This being said, it seems like she especially has a resentment towards her pregnant teached, if you've noticed. Her brother defends her, revealing the teacher is sweet and only gets emotional when kids are on bad behavior or are being bullies to other kids. The sister says "Well if she can't handle bullying, then she shouldn't be a teacher!" And then goes on to basically insult hee pregnancy because of her Hormones. THAT right there, isn't right. And shouldn't be encouraged. Its not the teacher's fault she gets emotional, besides, kids are CRUEL nowadays. I should know. We once had a teacher who was disabled and bounded to a wheelchair, my class took advantage of that. And I'll admit, i was once rude to her because i was in a bad day one day, but i apologize and got her a gift for valentines day. However, my class was SO rude and out of control, she quit in the middle of the year and left. So yes, while the girl SHOULD be allowed fo express *dislike* towards teachers, that doesn't give her the right to call them names, insult them and cuss them out just because she doesn't like them. Did she even give a valid reason to??? Everything has a reason. What's hers? Cuz it sounds like she's one of those girls that just hates teachers for the slightest of things. And if you actually read the rest of the story, we learned that Bella told her stepmom (Op's wife, who Bella gets along with great) about what happened, and she got grounded and got her ohone taken away FOR WHAT SHE SAID. Bella then complained to OP that her stepmom had gone mad and had grounded her for "telling her side of the story", which is BS. The next day, Op was called into thr shcool because bella was actively bullying and mocking her brother and his friends for getring gifts for the teachers, claiming they were trying to bribe them. So that means Bella is one of those drama, troubled filled girls and is a bully. She deserved to be grounded. NTA
The lesson she's learning is that being honest with her parents results in punishment. Once feeling secure in sharing her thoughts, she now understands it's not safe to do so.
So we encourage bullying now? Because that’s what she was doing. Bullying the teacher and then bullying her brother.
No she’s learning how to be a decent human being
@@sfseven7404 The fact that one has a negative opinion about someone does not constitute bullying. I hated all my childhood teachers. It was just a phase.
@@sfseven7404no don't you understand anything? They're trying to say is that they think she's gonna have trust issues with being honest plus what are you a goodie tissues?
@@genki2705same I liked most but a few I absolutely hated it was mostly a phase but one used to literally torment me like they would get mad at 5 year old me for not understanding a assignment since it was computer class I didn't know how to use a computer at all and I would cry while he screamed at me telling me shitty things like I was stupid and things and I started to cry he would call me a cry baby but a few years later he retired and I got a new teacher who I absolutely loved when I was in elementary she was the best teach I ever had supportive and kind but now thinking of it I remember mentioning it to someone they started to laugh when I mentioned the old teacher who called me things and stuff now I genuinely don't know how to feel is this funny or is it wrong I feel numb and bitter? But I think it's just a phase genuinely
It kinda sounds like your one kid is a bully and needs to learn to respect others. It doesn't matter if you like them or not, we must all be civil
Yes, but i did see another comment about feeling safe to express these feeling. I think maybe jumping STRAIGHT to grounding was hasty. Probably a better idea to try and discuss and explain why the things she specifically said were wrong shouldve been the first action. A respect your teachers unless they give a reason not to kind of thing then if she holds firm get increasing punishments AND add therapy to the mix. This has to be coming from somewhere. Probably peers tbh but still nipping it in the butt early while still trying to maintain good standing is better long term if they are successful then she will remember that looking back and hopefully be grateful. So essentially my opinion is they shouldve taken a different approach.
@@SeraEMS I think your approach is very reasonable. Admittedly, I only heard the short, but I did catch the good kid pointing out how that teacher is kind and only reacts harshly when people are bullyıng her... which I felt should have been given more weight. Yet, when I posted, I read nothing but a slew of comments who were condemnıng the parents because of "safe expression" and how "kids don't have to like their teacher" that I felt like the kid was getting a pass for harrassıng and verbally ab.using her teacher.
It seriously reminded me of all the videos I saw where a guy was SA'd at a bar or a gym, then berrəted and shəmed to take it and like it because he was victımized by a woman... so my heart went out to the teacher getting the same treatment cause her assaılant happened to be a child (who is learning to repeat this behavior into her adulthood).
But like I said, I do like your approach as it holds her accountable without disrespecting the daughter.
Absolutely not. She is a mean girl who bullys her teachers until they cry and makes everyone's life miserable. As to the step mother disciplining a child under her care, get over it. That's part of the job. This child needs some serious consequences but ya'all also need to get to the bottom of her behavior.
What a horrible child. Not the AH
You are who you hang out with and the daughrer must have some bad friends who have the same opinions.
What if she’s the bad friend?
even if she hated the teachers, she didnt need to be a jerkwad
Yta Bella is allowed to dislike her teachers what exactly do you think you're teaching her
Yeah but I don't think using derogatory language is okay
@@kpopaddict4382 agreed
that you shouldn't use derogatory language to badmouth a teacher or bully teachers of siblings
As a current student with teachers i dont like, NTA, its not the fact she dislikes the teachers, it was how she said it
@@sketchgaming1779not even that, how she describes what bella said, bella practically admits to bullying a pregnant teacher. Id be pretty pissed, id be going to all her teachers and asking about bella and her behaviour. You can dislike your teacher, but as long as the teacher is just doing their job and they themselves not being a bully, they dont deserve that behaviour
Not liking her teacher is no reason to punish her you can not force her to like them
I dont think thats what they’re punishing her for. The way she talks about her teachers is the problem. Can’t just call someone a b in front of your parents, and expect not to be punished. Or were your parents spineless?
Yta
Yta. Do better. Kids can have different opinions
kids can absolutely have opinions, but calling her teachers derogatory terms is unacceptable and she deserves to be reprimanded for it
@@amxterxsu138 If she's being one she should be called one imo but also that shouldn't have been the stepmom's role. If OP didn't want the daughter using b##ch then OP should've acted like the parent.
Before anyone whines about them being close. Would you take a grounding from your friend or sibling if you're close?
@@lilyvicent5197 those are completely different things. friends or siblings don't have the same authority in this situation, unless it's an older sibling who was explicitly given permission by the parents to exert authority while watching the younger one(s). a friend does not have that authority, but the wife of your father absolutely does, especially at that age
@@amxterxsu138 No they don't. A step parent does not always have authority over a step kid they actually rarely do from what I've seen. Not even a parent always has authority over a teen but okay
Just because you're married to their parent does not make you a parent🥴
@@lilyvicent5197 uh, that's more or less exactly what that makes you. sure, there's nothing that legally says the stepparent becomes an actual parent, but the expectancy from the child's original parent is that they listen to the stepparent as if they were an actual parent
Make bella, do the thug shake