AITA for telling my mom and mother in law they won’t be able to keep my daughter anymore?

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Story: AITA for telling my mom and mother in law they won’t be able to keep my daughter anymore?
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[@jesschen5513]

OP is not wrong in this, I guarantee that in this situation its going to be hard to not pick one side over the other, OP is doing the mature thing, and trying to stay in the middle, not picking sides. Especially when the parents are being petty about a job they ASKED to do.

[@littlemissmarie6681]

The parents are being petty about a job they BEGGED to do and are mad at OP for being the mature one? NTAH, she’s your child, parent and care for her how you see fit.

[@aishiabello]

That’s too exhausting! It sounds like both grandparents are competing for time with the granddaughter and this can ultimately break through OP’s family apart. I would do the same if I were OP and just have the daughter spend time with each grandparent whenever there is family time or whatever.

[@laurafaehnrich4261]

The most problematic thing for me is not that they are "I want the kid" " No I want the kid" but more like " I spend 15 Minutes with this child, so the other parent has to spent that too" like it is a chore nobody wants. And even counting time when the parents would be there but they need to buy something gives me the impression that watching the child is not desired here.
I understand wanting some kind ob equity when it comes to the time because I imagine that it is not the easiest to care for a child when you older and as both sets of grandma's decided to take the responsibility they both should be equally responsible.
But to count the minutes seems mean tbh.

[@jesschen5513]

​@@laurafaehnrich4261 It's primarily the MIL counting the minutes. But otherwise I agree. Both sets of parents make it sound desirable while also making it sound like a chore, which kinda is generally true when taking care of the child. But I find it kind of stupid that parents would be keeping track of the minutes they have with the child and then force the other set of parents to have that time with the child.

[@okhoward1942]

Sounds like MIL is the problem here…

[@jesschen5513]

Yes and No, OP said it himself that he has his parents in his ear as well, so the story isn't coming from a 100% reliable source. This is the most mature thing he can do in a situation where he might be inclined to pick a side.

[@darthbiscuit]

Don't just hand off your children to a stranger.
Set boundaries on your parents and if they don't follow it then let them know daughter goes to stranger instead.

[@dagoth-ursbeekeeper9119]

Loved the part where they told the grandparents

[@chiakinanami5319]

NTA. Your parents are acting like spoilt kids timing each other with one toy but in this case an innocent three year old. They're selfish and shouldn't be allowed to look after your daughter if all they do is argue over how much time they get to spend with her
While it is nice for them to suggest they look after her because they family, the way they keep timing the minutes and hours spent with her to pass her off to the other grandparents(your parents)makes it look like from outside perspective and most likely your child in the future that they can't wait to get rid of the child so quickly.
And it's not about balancing the time out to be fair at this point
So it's best you put your child in childcare or find a nanny to look after your child while you're both working and give nanny the day off when you're not working

[@ShatoraDragondore]

(MILs name) we have set up a schedule, that you an (other MIL) agreed to before we started Daughters after school routine. Your granddaughter loves being with both of you and looks forward to this part of her day. This minute counting demanding you both get the exact same amount of time with her is petty and beneath you. Daughter is spending x days a week with you and x with (other set of grandparents). If you nit pick about (other MIL) getting "extra time" or saying that because we all did X activity as a family that time counts and you need private one on one time, you will not see Daughter for a week.

[@user-bb2pu3kz5o]

From the post ot didn't sound like they were minute counting to be the ones to get more time, rather it sounded like "I've taken care of granddaughter extra so other grandma has to do more time now".