AITAH for not forgiving my military father who thought my mother cheated on him?
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- Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
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Story Name: AITAH for not forgiving my military father who thought my mother cheated on him?
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NTA, nobody should treat a child like that regardless if it's theirs or not, he had no right to put his anger on op when they did nothing wrong. The Mother should've done the paternity test and divorce the second he started mistreating op
If it wasn't he's yeah he could have treated him like that.
It's fair.
No beating no yelling is not mistreatment
But the guy didn't have the balls to take a test
Dont get me wrong the mother is a total b for not accepting the test and deserve as much hire specially since it was clearly just a power play that cost her son 18 years of pain.
However if the father didn't grow a pair to do the test then he get to suffer for it
@@dumbidea1007 OK no one should be treated like that and it was his kid if he was that positive he should’ve gotten the test and not cared if his wife was mad
When wife didn't get a paternity test he should have, instead of acting like a AH for OPs entire life. You blame the cheater, not the child. That's what he did. Now he wants forgiveness. No. It wasn't a mistake, he treated OP like shit on purpose. Mother was just as bad. She could have thrown a paternity test in dad's face and divorced, but didn't, allowing his dad to treat him like trash. Screw both bio donors.
@@dumbidea1007that isn’t a father. And no the mother wasn’t a B she told him the F’ing truth. The B is the sperm donor. He went around telling anyone that would listen to how hurt he was, poor A-hole. The town decided to treat a child like dirt because of the little B.
F him I would have divorced the snake as soon as he came back.
What he didn’t know how to do simple math?
@dumbidea1007 Bs! He had no right treating op like that. None! If he really thought he wasn't his son, he should've gotten the test done on his own or left. Treating that poor kid like that without the test is just cruel, especially when there's a chance he is wrong.
NTA. None of this was a mistake. It was a choice.
The father chose to stay with a woman that he thought cheated. He chose to not continue to push for the paternity test. He chose to abuse a child for actions that were not his own. The mother chose to make getting the test difficult. She chose to stay with a man that believed her unfaithful. She chose to let that man mistreat her child. None of this was a mistake.
This! Literally just this!
Yeah except she had no actual way of stopping the test. Both brazy, but dad sounds mental
dad is a pos, but it gets really hard to defend the mom even if she was being faithful because she also gave up protecting her kid. makes them about equal because everyone in the community is calling him a cuck and the mom after having a second kid gives up on her first son. both the parents don't deserve anything from Op.
@@SA-ey6ntThe wife literally said she would take half of his things if he did the test and divorced him
And even if he just decided a divorce him, he would still lose half his s***
Are you willing to lose your house? Maybe your car 30 to 60% of your 401k
Big chunk of your retirement if you have any others
And all the work you put into your things just because you think there's a 30% chance your wife cheated
That 30% will weigh on his mind but it's not enough to destroy the relationship and it could have been solved with one test if she approved it
I think the mom is the worse person in this story
'Unnecesarily cruel to a person who has made a mistake.' Are they talking about the man who systematically and continuously psychologically abused and neglected his son for *16 years* for being born because he didn't think the child was his? Why is it that the child copped the abuse but the parents stayed married and even had another child together? The *child* was an innocent, the dad was a grown ass man who now has to face the consequences of the action of hatred *every damn day for 16 years* . The mum is no better because she knew that he was neglecting and abusing their child and all she did was argue with the dad, and even that stopped after they had their second child together. Only thing I can think of that would cause her to not take the test is that she *didn't* know for sure the guy was the dad, otherwise what kind of sick and twisted person lets their child be abused for *years* to keep some kind of moral high ground?! I mean *everyone* treated OP like crap for *his mothers* supposed cheating and she could have shut them *all* up with a simple test but her pride was more important to her, tells you a lot about her as a parent doesn't it.
OP should run from the whole toxic situation. The father didn't make a mistake, he made a *choice* every day to punish a literal *child* for his wife's supposed infidelity and now wants to act like *he's* the real victim here because now he can't internally justify the abuse he put OP through every day and still call himself a good husband, father and man? It is not OP's job to make you feel better about your terrible actions, there is no undo button and the fact that the father would *still* be treating OP like crap without the test is enough proof of who he really is; a disgusting excuse of a human being, same as his wife.
I went LOOKING for this comment. Who the fuck do people think they are? Like oh, it's cool that I psychologically abused the shit out of you and treated you like you were worth less than my wasted time was, and now that I know your mine I want to pretend like I didn't do that for your ENTIRE life up UNTIL LITERALLY NOW.
Yet, somehow theyre the asshole? NAH BRUH.
Soooooooooo NOT THE ASSHOLE.
I did see one comment that mentioned something along the line of -
Even if she had taken the test, and it came back that the kid was his, that doesn't solve him thinking she did cheat. The kid being his doesn't give actual proof that she wasn't cheating. And being that the issue was over accused cheating, maybe she didn't want to take the test, just to still be called a lying, cheating, whore. He still would've had doubts to qether she had cheated, and just got away with it because there wasn't a baby to prove it. Or the man, or witnesses to verify.
#stillnotavalidexcuse.
@@Miss_SkiPp_8812 OP said that the father thought she had cheated *because* OP existed, so if they took the test and OP was his there would have no excuse to think she cheated. Which also might tie in to why the dad punished *him* rather than the mother, since there was apparently no other 'evidence' or he would have divorced her then and there.
Also glad some people don't forgive the mom in this. Like she was faithful but as soon as the second kid is born she stops defending the first makes her look guilty as hell, like guilty by omission. Honestly both parents don't deserve to be Op's life anymore and taking the test just proves how horrible both of them are. Dad might be worse the mom is no prize either.
@@Miss_SkiPp_8812yeah but the thing is then the hate would only be targeted at the wife
He treated his other kid that was proven his exactly like he would treat
The woman took the DNA test and didn't the vehemently deny and saying if he took it. She would steal half his belongings
Then the fight will be between him and the wife, not him and the son
Why was the mother so against the paternity test literal years of toxicity could of been avoided with one?
Like I understand not liking the idea of your spouse showing they have no trust in you, but HOMIE you let a child suffer. Kids aren't stupid! They notice everything and can tell if they are the reason they're parents argue. Including showing clear favoritism. They've should've just divorced and child support would've proved the kid was his anyways.
Yeah, like both parents are a-holes, but the mom should've protected her kid.
Because it was no different than calling her a wh*re and worse denying his child.
I’m gonna guess she did cheat and she wasn’t 100% sure
She should have just gotten the paternity test and the divorce. That would have resolved everything
A mistake is accidentally putting salt instead of sugar in your coffee at 4 in the morning when your 3 month old baby decides it's time to feed. Deciding the child your wife conceived isnt yours without having a paternity test done and proceeding to mistreat that child for the entirety of its childhood only to realise YOU ARE the father isn't a mistake. It's negligence and done with malcious intent.
Not only that but calling it a mistake doesnt erase YEARS worth of trauma.
But the thing is she literally said if he took the test I'll be stealing half your s***
That is the biggest sign of guilt I've ever seen
She 100% cheated and wasn't sure
Fact that when the kid was 18 she was still against doing the test proves it even more
@@jackiebiskan4748Imagine saying "She didn't like being accused of cheating and didn't want to stay in a distrustful marriage, she must be cheating" and not feeling dumb.
@@jackiebiskan4748hesitation isn't her saying no
@@laerramarie2620 no, there's a difference between not liking it
And instantly divorcing someone because they took a test
This is why the test should be mandatory. So crazy women like you can't just say he doesn't trust me time to divorce him
@jackiebiskan4748 have you seen the show where guys go on accusingly women of cheating and they shout "you are the father" is that what you expect to happen in ops life? Op legit would have had a better life if his dad was a deadbeat and abandoned them bc essentially he did abandon op by saying hes not his son but its worse bc he constantly made a point to say it and caused fights bc of it
"it's not his fault"
It's a hell of a lot more the fathers fault than it ever was the kids. Wtf is wrong with ops mom that she let all that happen? Ops dad already OPENLY thought she was a cheater, what damage could a paternity test do that wasn't already done?
Proved him right
She 100% cheated
I'm going to say I was skeptical at first wanting a paternity test to not happen is very common for women. Personally I think it's disgusting. I think it should be mandatory
The fact is when the kid was 18 and she still was trying to stop. It tells me she was pretty sure it wasn't his
this could been settled in the first place, the husband had been away god knows where, I blame the mother she saw how it affected the boy, and let him be mentally abused by his father.
I blame both parents
She is only to blame for not leaving the sorry excuse of a man. She shouldn't have to accept accusations of infidelity.
Of course you blame the mother. People hate holding fathers accountable!
Nah blame them both
Mom should have left when he started to abuse the boy op was mentally abused
And for the dad if u were soo convinced that op ain't ur son than leave the wife
Why blame the child for ots parents mistake well its cause a child is easier to blame since it's weaker
So ops dad was a coward he doesn't even deserve to be called dad
And mom too they both suck
If I were the Dad, I would have the little one tested too. She still might be sneaking around on him.
NTA she should be said no problem to the paternity test.
Divorce him and got child support for you. Both of them have the AHoles in this
The mother definitely cheated and thought he was not the biological son of the father but luckily he was the biological one do you think a woman would rather get years of emotionally abuse than a paternity test if she never cheated
@@Titanium_Titaniumlegit tho
Honestly both parents are AHs in this story 😢
Yep
Fr fr
NTA, if the mom don't want the paternity done, can't the dad do it himself? OPs strand of hair, a toothbrush, a drop of blood from wound, etc.
Exactly. Guess 18 years of hate was a better idea
@@SA-ey6ntshe literally said she'll divorce him and take half of his stuff if he did it
.
Mother was a piece of crap for putting her child through all that. She ruined the family by being too stubborn to give her husband proof that he was being a paranoid idiot. And she let her son suffer through that while looking the other way.
Dad was definitely terrible, but she should have given the proof and divorced him. But instead she forced her child to grow up with everyone thinking he was from an affair. Then they finally decide to get the test at 18. What’s the point now?
Except she had no actual way to stop the dad from doing the test. Which he should have done instead of tormenting the poor child for 18 years! Mental cases
@@SA-ey6ntyeah she literally said I'll divorce you and take half your stuff if you do the test
Are you going to risk? Probably between 70 to 250,000 half of everything you own maybe more depending on his wealth but military he's probably not that much
Lose your house. Lose all the stuff you've worked your whole life for
30% chance your wife had a kid with someone else
That 30% will eat you up inside. Sure, but you still lean on the side. It's probably yours but there's a good chance it isn't
I am sorry, but do you blame the mother for saying "paternity test or staying together"? That's so dumb. She obviously should have divorced her husband, but she is not wrong for not supporting him accusing her of cheating.
@@jackiebiskan4748you keep on repeating the same stuff in the comments over and over again, and it's all to defend the dad for being a pos Imma guess you're a bad person ☠️
@@whip-whiplash call me a bad person
All I'm saying is that
The woman gave an ultimatum take the test we divorce
And I'll take half your s***
Her words exactly
To me that is clear signs of cheating
The fact that when the kid was 18 she still was against him. Taking the test means she wasn't sure
The dad sucked but the whole thing was heating. Treat the kid right because he didn't think it was his kid
If he got the proof from the woman and she didn't fight it, he would have never treated the kid like that
Acting like it's normal for someone to raise someone else's kid is crazy
Up until that DNA test was taken, it was up in the air whose kid that was
Likely my petty ah side, but me, not only would I not have forgiven him for the abuse, but since he caused the community to even turn on OP, I would have had copies made of the results as well as copies of pictures of both parents and myself made before putting them up around the town to make it clear on the truth. Let them all feel guilty for their actions. But thats my ah side talking.
I love petty revenge stories
A mistake is aaciddently using too much butter or salt in a recipe, not ingoring your kid and going out of your way to hate YOUR child for 16 years.
So everyone says you're cruel for a guy who kept making a big mistake for 18 years.
I think the mother did cheat, and she didn't know who's child he actually is
The man abuse and neglected him to the point the whole community joined in. There’s no mistake for mistreating a child in grown folks business
Wow, so just because he was sus, he decided to treat his own kid like a stranger and when his suspicions were proved wrong, then he came crawling back. And the mother wasn't any good either, she could've avoided the lifelong mistreatment her kid had suffered. OP is totally not wrong here.
I don't why the father didn't have the dna test himself. He didn't need the wife to do it
It’s not his fault?!? Excuse me?!? He was a neglectful, emotionally and mentally abusive AH to a kid because he didn’t believe he could have knocked up his wife right before he went on his military tour.
Actually, scratch that. If he was gone for two years, and OP was two when he got back, that means he’d have left during the middle of her pregnancy.
Yet he still claimed she cheated on him. And now that he’s been corrected he wants to what? Pretend none of the last 16 years happened?
And the fact that the mom stayed with him instead of taking her son out of that abusive environment, and then ended up no longer caring after the second kid was born makes her just as bad.
OP should go no contact with both of them and write off the entire town and any family members that try to defend either of his toxic parents.
He could have left for two in a few months
The woman could have been pregnant, maybe a few weeks to a month before he left or a few weeks after he left
Could have given birth earlier than 9 months. Could have been an 8-month pregnancy.
There was a lot of reasons to suspect and the biggest one of all was the fact that she threatened divorce and stealing half of his s*** if he did the test
People saying the dna test would have fixed it, youre wrong. Abusers may change their patterns of abuse, but rheyll typicallynremain abusive unless they do a ton of mental work.
He spent 18 years abusing his kid and even his wife. He told the town of his marital issues and allowed rumors to exist about his child. He wanted to punish his wife and his child for imagined wrongs. (Also he could have been cheating while in the military lol, people cheat all the time in basic and when stationed).
When he found out his kid was his, he switched tactics. Now hes oversharing his sadness, knowing others are going to pressure OP to forgive him, and trying to invade OPs boundaries. He switched from one abuse to another. A dna test wouldnt have fixed it.
Dude that dad IS abusive. And people trying ro justify it with "well he thought she cheated" if my husband cheated on me, that wouldnt make me abuse a CHILD for almost 20 years. And people blaming the mom, like giving in to an abusers demands doesnt stop abuse. This dude felt entitled to abuse his wife and son for 18 years. He only lessened the abuse on his wife when she did the labor of giving him another chikd AND accepted him abusing her first. Thats how abusers work and operate a lot of the time, they make weird equations in their head and do the "math" to determine what punishments people deserve when they step out of line. This man obviously wanted to stay with his wife, he didnt have an intention of leaving and really didnt tbreaten to do so. His whole thing was about feeling entitled to implying shes dirty and their son isnt his. He wanted to emotionally punish her AND a child for things he thought happened.
Good, scorch the earth.
Do not guilt trip someone for having a right to feel how they feel after years of neglect and withheld love! OP has every right to be upset and draw the line with him. He didn’t believe his wife and decided to stay with her, that was his choice and he could have gotten over it as an adult- I don’t know why men just assume that with their absence, there’s bound to be adultery. If you can’t trust someone- leave! If that was me in OPs place I’d probably tell her and him while they were fighting “yah! Get a paternity test so he can leave Mom!” But whatever. I’m happy Dad isn’t welcomed back with open arms right away. Years? How insecure do you have to be to bully a child? Who are you, Professor Snape? Grow up.
YOU are the unreasonable one ?! When he's the one who neglected you for 18 years!
Honestly really hating the Mom in this story. If she actually stood her ground till he was 18 it would be commendable but the fact she gives up when her second kid is born just makes me think she did cheat and just got lucky. As soon as the "real son" is born suddenly her first son is worthless. Both don't deserve to be in Op's life. Dad might be the biggest pile of sh*t in this story but mom is pretty close to being just as big as the dad.
I think she's much worse
If she was sure she never cheated, she should have instantly got the test the moment he started treating the kid poorly because he might not be his kid
Should honestly be mandatory. I don't think parents should be signing the birth certificate until you either outright deny a paternity test or take it
I mean for both father and mother
Even though for mothers, it's much much More rare
Mom wouldn't do the paternity test becouse she wouldn't stay with a man that doesnt trust her only to then stay with a man who didnt trust her but took it out on her child.
She definitely cheated
The woman said she wouldn't stay with her person who didn't trust her but proceeds to spend the next 18 years doing that
Who is 100% unsure if the kid was his
And believed it's better to be untrusted but unsure than to be despised and sure
A mistake is something that happens once on accident, not consistently for 16 years on purpose.
I think the mother wasn't sure you were actually his son or not
A mistake is like thinking some random person is someone you know what the dad did isnt mistake its mental abuse that started the moment they met all the way to op reaching adulthood
You’re being unnecessarily cruel?? THEY WERE UNNECESSARILY CRUEL TO A CHILD!
why would OP forgive him? i would not forgive him BUT i am petty. if i got married he would get a one wedding pic with a note......had a great time glad you werent here.
It's frustrating, isn't it? Some people will defend any behavior, no matter how detrimental it is to others. The mother's actions are clearly causing OP to suffer, and it's baffling that anyone could justify that. It shows a lack of empathy and understanding of the impact her behavior is having.
Absolutely, OP's father isn't off the hook either. While the mother may be the primary source of the issue, the father also played his part. He might have just followed along with the role he was given, but that doesn't absolve him of responsibility. Both parents contributed to OP's suffering, and it's important to acknowledge that.
"the situation was like that" Yeah because the father made it like that. NTA
" everyone is saying its nit his fault" how? How the freak is this not his fault. HE CHOOSE TO BELIEVE SOMETHING WOTHOUT EVIDENCE AND BEHAVE LIKE AND AH.
I need updates to this story asap
So now he magically cares about you why didn’t he treat mom like that for 18 years why did he treat a literal child like that? Like bro you just turned 18 and you’re still a kid.
That whole family is sick the dude treated like you did not exist for youre whole live its something that can never change he made his choice years ago and broke you inside
NTA. It's all so unnecessary if mom agreed to the paternity test. Though I also think the reason the mom is against the paternity test so much is because she might actually have cheated and just got lucky that OP is her husband's.
0:59 for the short people
Everyday he didn't treat his like a person was a mistake. About 6500 mistakes can be called unforgivable
As a military member I think paternity tests should be mandatory. It would have saved my dad from paying 18 years of child support for a kid that ain't his, me.
I don't understand OP's mother. What kind of woman can be so offended by the mere suggestion of cheating that she'll threaten to drag her partner through hell and back and expects to be treated like normal but doesn't bat a single eyelash at the man forbidding their child from calling him dad and withholding all affection from that child. What the hell is goin through her head?
Only thing that make sense: She cheated and already had AP tested. Dad thought about the legal and financial issues even if he wasn't the father and decided its cheaper to keep her. Since he couldn't win in this situation, he decided he was going to be miserable might as well make her miserable as well.
18 consistent years of neglect is not a mistake, it's cruelty to an innocent child who didn't ask to be born and he only wants ur forgiveness to ease his own ego. stand ur ground, go nc. Also I believe the mum possibly did cheat otherwise why would she let you be neglected for that long if she knew you were her husband's child? Not adding up.
Amen! OP's sperm donor is a dick. Good luck to OP!!!
"it's not his fault" yeah he might have made a mistake but he should have not have treated you like that because even if you weren't his child it wasn't your fault so you shouldn't have gotten punished for something you did not do.
What type of person you have to be to think that OP’s actions are not justified? Like in what bubble or to what level of entitlement you have to reach in order to view the father’s actions as “normal” and “just a mistake”?
All of this could of been avoided if the mom accepted the test, but it doesn’t excuse the father’s actions. I hope OP lives a happy life without them.
It was 100% his fault. Even if the mother cheated. You don't retaliate against the innocent child.
"Made a mistake" you mean making his life unbearable and making him like he is not lobed and doesn't belong for his whole childhood or walking around teling people his wife was cheating and that child is not his? That man is fed up
“He made a mistake” a mistake that led to 18 YEARS of neglect and othering. Mistakes have fucking consequences.
See, I'd let him know me every time I'd meet someone with him. I'd introduce him as the father who hated me. Every family event I'd reminded the family
Mother fault 100℅
I would say 90 her fault. If he wasnt Man enough to do the test regardless
She should have just divorced him, given him the paternity test and had him sign over his parental rights.
Regardless in his mind his kid isn't his, and his wife is unfaithful even though it's not true.
@@TheReal_Antrey she chose her son suffering
Totally he already accused her of cheating what would have changed for their relationship unless she did cheat n wasn't sure. He didn't trust her and never loved the child. What exactly she gained out of that.
@201triptibotany2 And he was the source of his son's suffering. He chose to not confirm on his own, and punished his son for it.
I never comment on such videos since the write is not gonna see it anyway, but this really ticked me off. The mother is the real villain here. She witnessed it for years and could not be decent enough to do the test to confront the husband with it and save her son the torture and emotional anguish. Who cares if they stay together after that or not. She robbed her son of a decent childhood and made him, and her whole family, the talk of the town. I hope he plans to cut her out of his life as well. I don't wish for him to be without family in this way, but may be he needs to be, at least for a while, to heal.
I am 100% with OP for no reason for years you say you are not my Father and doing mean, humiliating things so wish granted you are not my Father! He could have just as easily taken OP to be DNA tested without Mom! I don’t know why Mom would not simply do that other than being insulted but if you are not going to leave him why not get the test? Even if Mom had cheated the child is not to blame and should not have been treated bad period!! IP should leave and not look back! NTA!!
A mistake he made for 18 years, he has 18 years of appolozing and parenting to do and he can do that with his son and not "the illigitamite" child. Its up to you and only you to decide who is and isnt in your life.
18 years of neglect is a mistake? NTA.
Almost entirely MOM'S fault. While she was right to be insulted that her husband didn't believe her, she could have done the test to "throw it in his face" that he was wrong to doubt her.
Then, the ADULTS would have been able to get counseling, and the INNOCENT child would have been spared YEARS of neglect.
I bet there was a chance OP wasn't his, and that is why she'd rather see her son spend years being mistreated.
What horrible parents can’t blame you at all your mother was the AH for making you the outcast and you dad TA for treating you like it. Amazing to go NC with such toxic people stick to your guns and never have him in your life again
No satisfaction he can live with the regret of loosing you
"It's not his fault, the situation was like that" If it wasn't the father's fault, why is it the son's to be treated that way? NTA
Father chose to abuse a child mentally. This is cruel even if it was his son or not. He should have gotten the damn DNA test if he was going to torture and scare a child's life, but no he decided to just put his discussing feelings as a punch bag towards the son. Both parents are at fault, no sane person can do this to an innocent child.
Mother was just as horrible as the Father. She saw her son being neglected by his father. If she really never cheated, then she owed it to her son to get the test done to stop the neglect. Yet instead she let her son suffer years of emotional neglect for no other reason than her pride.
Its literally all and only his fault. He made it up. He imagined a problem and lived by it OP's whole life.
Op is the only one not in the wrong. They treated him Like he did something wrong when he never did anything to deserve the treatment. They are the a$$ wholes. Wish you all the best in all your endeavor op.
A mistake doesn’t continue for what 16 years? Everyone needs to understand that it’s now too little too late. No way would he be okay accepting his dad now
Child's fault: 0%
Father's fault: 5%
Community's fault:10%
Mother's fault: 85%
Complete story explained in percentage.
A mistake that lasted 16 years and permanently impacted the life of his own kid in a way that he intended it to. If she had cheated, that would be a her problem, not the child's problem. He should have treated it as such if she did cheat.
But honestly, screw the mother. Sure, she was wrongfully accused and is a victim in all this, but on top of how resigned she became to the mistreatment of her own son, her digging her heels in when he asked for a paternity test was beyond stupid. She knew that if he knew OP was his son, he would treat him better. But she instead chose to be stubborn and allow OP to be treated like shit just to prove a point. A point that never even got proven until OP did it himself.
Yeah it's the father's and mother's fault 100%. You reap, what you sow.
This is a tough situation. But for his peace of mind that Op should just leave both parents alone.
Both are bad. Even if the child wasn't his, it wouldn't be the child's fault, it would be the mother's. Whether or not the child was actually his, he would be abusing an innocent child. That person only seems to be obsessed with what he thinks is right for him, regardless of how it might harm others. Even if it was emotionally harming a child only because of anger, he's probably not someone you would want to be around.
The mother is also terrible for eventually not standing up for her child and allowing herself to get used to the comments her husband made.
Dad is the AH but so is mom she could’ve settled this. They’re both bad parents.
The mother definitely cheated but atleast the son was the father biological child
I think there is a 75% chance the mom cheated but it isn’t with the neighbor. It’s most likely with someone who strolled into town for a few days. A one night stand and when she did find out she was pregnant she wasn’t sure who the father was and didn’t do the math. Scared he would leave her for cheating so she found against the test even when the kid was leaving.
You did a good thing he should believe your mom because if he had no proof then why treat you that messed up
the father and everyone else are delusional beyond help, it wasn't a mistake it was his choice to act like that and not trusting his own wife. if he doesn't act like a dad during childhood he doesn't get to try and act like one when he finds out the truth. the mother isn't much better either, she stopped sticking up for her son when she knew it was his and then rubbed it in his face when the truth came out.
All of that could have been avoided with a DNA test from the beginning.
It so stupid cause he is also bringing other people into family drama
I've said it before and I will say it again: 👏YOU👏DO👏NOT👏HAVE👏TO👏FORGIVE👏YOUR👏ABUSERS👏
(Yes this is emotional abuse/neglect)
mistake is when you accidentayly click the wrong button in an elevator, not when you choose to hate your child
I blame the mom for dragging this out
She could’ve nipped it right away
SO the mother DID cheat but didn't end up pregnant probably because she already was and didn't want the paternity test incase it came back as not the father.. but people are standing up for this POS of a father saying its not his fault the situation was the way it was?? YES IT FREAKING IS. There's a dozen and one things he could have done differently but only now when the son has no love left for him due to all the years of neglect.. does he want anything to do with him?? That town is TOXIC.. I'd move and never go back.
You all know you can get a paternity test without the mother’s consent, right? You can buy at home kits to be sent off and testing for personal knowledge and you wouldn’t have to tell the mother. Stop blaming women for something you are free to do. Test your kid if you really can’t trust your partner. Or just divorce them because they deserve better anyway.
She should have just left him. They are both aholes.
Wow to let your husband treat your son bad horrible and now she’s fine with the test once it’s to late she sounds sus
Dude you don’t just treat a child like that over some hunch about someone else that u don’t even have proof over?
Mom totally cheated and didn’t know who’s kid it was
I think that maybe the mother did cheat in the past and had some doubts about the paternity of the child, at least that is the only thing that occurs to me since I don't see any sense in being so against the test.
Oh, now they care we’re about being kind the other. Where was that sympathy when they were talking crap about you behind your back when you were a child? Spent your entire life hating you for some thing his wife did and she didn’t even do that. You’re supposed to last year didn’t have been now that he knows you’re his biological?
Screw him, he doesn’t want nothing to do with you then expect you the one anything to do with him now. Nothing stopping him from getting a DNA test when you were born by the way.
0:59 for y’all who came from the short
Did the neighbor and OP’s father look so much alike that OP’s dad could not look at his first born and notice any distinctions in his features, etc and differentiate where his own looks might be vs the neighbor’s?
Dumb dad.
Father could have gotten a test done himself if was so damn important
You can do whatever you want but i and most of the people here will say it's your mother's fault . Think of it how humiliating it was for your father that you were called a illegitimate son.
How do d word get around that OP wasn’t his dad’s kid? Dad kept introducing the kids as “his son X and OP.” He would not claim OP under what he thought was a false narrative.
And guess what everyone is saying the dad isn’t the problem ( in the post) is only saying that because society👏 hates👏women👏 and this post makes it so obvious to me
Yeah he made a mistake and then he made it again and again every single day for 16 years.
Both parents have a point, but because of the fact the mother was against a paternity test, he still shouldnt have taken his issues out of the son and emotionally neglected him. The op is kinda a ah and kinda ntah, his father sounds stubborn as if you couldn't tell him its raining outside and he believe it unless youre soaked infront of him(for those with stubborn parents you get what im saying)
Can’t decide who I think is shittier the mother or the father
Both of your parents are ridiculous and it might be better to just go no contact with them. He should never treat you like that and she should’ve just let him take the paternity test once she saw how you’re being treated. If she wanted to leave because of it, then go on and leave, but don’t watch your kid being treated that way 🤦🏻♀️
The dad could have just taken the kid and never told the mom……he just wanted to be a shitty father and your mother was a shitty mother the whole time. Instead of putting the dad’s mind at ease she would rather cause her son to be neglected….both are losers but the mom should have just agreed to end it all….
Both parents were assholes. If the mother didnt have anything to be afraid of, she should have done the paternity test. She chose to ignore her abused son for peace???
And the father shouldn't have abused the son. Is it op's fault he was born? No. So why abuse him? Neglect is abuse. Spreading rumors so that everyone whispers about him is bullying.
NTA…but your mother is awful! Who does this to their own child to prove a point. I’m being to think that luck was on her side because there is absolutely no good reason to keep this going for so long
Your mother should have had the test done for your mental health and to protect you, she failed you
Yes they both abuse you mentally. I would not talk to your mother or father. They bother are the AH in this story.
Made a mistake for eighteen years? Hey fuck you,wait your mine? I'm so sorry please forgive me for not loving you for the past eighteen year like what is we omg witt him