I Want Everyone to Like Me - Overcoming the Need For Approval
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- Опубликовано: 18 авг 2019
- I've had to learn how to stop caring about what other people think about me. It's difficult because I've always wanted people to like me. In this video I talk about my experience with low self-esteem and my need for approval. I also try to give some thoughts that can reassure people that it's okay if not everyone likes you. I really believe it's important to love yourself and NOT value other people's opinions of you as greater than your own. If you like this video, please share it to help my channel grow. Thank you for watching!
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You can’t please everyone so why bother pretending to be someone else? Great video kenny
because I can't stop my brain does it on its own and with force its like another person
I never thought I'd find a channel who fills my need of wanting to know someone else is also in a pit of hell, but copes with it by talking about their emotions in depth and openly. I very much appreciate it, for this idea for video style has always intrigued me, and I'm very much excited to listening to your other content with the upcoming days!
Jaedon Vaughn how old sre you?
@@SocraticShorts Very odd question to be asking over the internet haha.
This came in perfect i have this problem is school, school is hell you ar forced to spend 8 hours a day in a place you didnt choose leanring something you dont choose, with people you dont choose
I use to care not anymore. I am learning to move on and just to be with a few close friends that's it. I'm still lonely. And the counselling us changed my life. I'm not depressed I'm just bored. Cause I have planned my future Kenneth. Hope you see this.
so wild to see someone else express thoughts n emotions i thought i only felt. self hatred and low self esteem are such a plague, and can prevail even if u have friends. ty so much for sharing!
its none of my business what others think about me
I suffer from this too. Thanks for making me not feel alone.
kudos for the professional set up kenny! keep up the good work :)
Excellent video! I deleted some of my social media but to this day it still amazes me how much time I spend thinking about doing something I could upload and get likes from. I think it's important to think about motivation and life goals and trying to find that inner grit to do something just for ones own conviction and not for likes.
I also need to: 1. Avoid criticizing myself and instead summarize all the good things I have done daily. Basically it's a kind of "build self esteem notebook" where you take note of "A. Good things done today" (boosting self esteem), "B. I'm grateful for..." (practicing avoiding jealousy) , "C. Help me with..." (practicing seeking help from others).
2. Stop comparing myself with others and stop looking for self-confidence through criticizing other people.
3. Stop trying to be perfect but instead exercising my lacking executive functions by trying to start doing things without thinking too much, and that way avoiding procrastination.
I relate to this so much. My self esteem is at an all time low. When someone doesnt like me i feel like they arent wrong in doing so and lowers my self esteem even more.
Wow I really relate to this. Thanks for the honestly. I really struggle with wanting everyone to like me, I think I've lost track of who I really am as a person from all of the acting trying to please others.
All depends on the people..
Your point of view on this is excellent...It took me soooo many years to stop worrying about what other people think, or if they like me. Its still a work in progress.
This is a BRILLIANT video, I feel everything that you do say. I’ve made so many notes thank you!
Thank you for spreading positivity 😇
Lots of love to you ❤️
true that. can't please everyone so might as well be yourself.
Amazing video Kenneth, these are words I needed to hear and it made things in life just a little bit easier for me. I'm glad to see theres some one talking openly and honestly about feelings/themselves/the things they go through and its almost calming to know I'm not the only one who struggles. Becoming myself has been the greatest challenge ive had for myself recently. never fitting in with the few friends I had, I always tried to squeeze myself into places that dont work for me out of loneliness. This helped me understand ill never be content unless I be myself.
Great vid, great points....all the best guys and ladies
Damn! Finally a person who is filing the void of how I'm thinking about . Thank you for the video my guy .
The best video ever!!!the most helpful video for me!!!Thank you kenneth!!!You are my inspiration!!!kisses from Greece
I love how honest you are about yourself, thank you for that
It don't matter who you are in this world some people will hate you. It's just the way this life is.
what a brilliant video! I just found so much peace in that one simple line- they may have their own reasons to dislike you and there's probs nothing you can do about it. I always feel like I am in power to make a difference or get them to think differently of me but, if they already have their reasons to dislike me and think badly of me, I should respect that and so be it; there's not much that can be done x
Nice one kenny im happy to see you making progress
You seem like a nice guy and very insightful. Good emotional intelligence. I'd totally hang out with you Kenneth although I live in Scotland! Great video and keep fighting the good fight. We are all in this together.
Literally everything ur saying is mirroring my life right now
Thank you for these videos man. I found your channel by looking for resources for a paper I am currently writing about why it is hard for people to make friends/keep them. Ever since watching your video on that topic I have watched almost all of your videos. Fast forward a month and your videos have really been helpng me through a tough time in my life and I really appreciate it. Keep sharing your thoughts. Much love
I love you dude, Cheers 🇦🇺✌️
This channel is great, go Kenny!
I just want to say thank you. This video helps.
I know this came out a while ago... but I wanted to thank you for and tell you I appreciate you sharing this. I have moved a lot in my life... I’m always the “new” person seeking approval and acceptance... but I literally have no friends what so ever. People that I try to make friends with end up avoiding me. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me too.... I wish there was a way to fix all my insecurities... what if no one on earth likes you?... why do I come off SO wrong?
Kenny you are a smart young person and i wish i had a friend like you,when i was your age.😄👌
I once saw a quote that said if you spend 100% of your time trying to please 100% of people, you will never get anything done........
I think I want people to like me because I was bullied when I was a kid. I think, at least some of it, is damage control. It has happened before and I need to take steps to minimise it happening again. It has been this way for me for 36years (and counting).
I'm getting help for social anxiety and much of it is about getting outside of your head. That's where you suffer, so you need to be more objective and realistic about things. These things always come back to mindfulness. Practice mindfulness.
Hey Kenneth. Very WISE VIDEO. I KNOW what you mean....If you want to PLEASE everybody, Just because to fit in OR be accepted, that is BOUND TO GO WRONG. I struggled with low self esteem myself. Everyday I have to fight those demons who try to sabotage my confidence OR zelf esteem. See IT this way Kenneth. You can try to PLEASE EVERYBODY in your LIFE, than everybody Will love you....EXCEPT YOU YOURSELF... You are Such a goodharted man Kenneth, PLEASE be Proud of YOURSELF.........FROM THIS DAY ON....DON,T LET ANYONE HURT YOUR PRECIOUS SOUL AGAIN, !!!!!
Great video
Great video, you know
You're making bucks $$$ now! Fancy new mic, chair and studio
Connection happens by telling the story of who you are with your whole heart, and I do feel connected by listening to ur speeches :) do you still offer your therapy sessions? Greeting from Bcn
Even if it was possible to have everyone like you... It would be exhausting trying to get there. I'm exhausted already and many people haven't liked me.
Okay, yeah, been viewing some of your videos today and was kinda coming to this conclusion. What came to me was the words possibly 'toxic shame' somewhere in your life.... a people pleaser if often an outcome of toxic shame. I wish you the best in your journey! Its gonna be hard to not have anyone ever hate you. Plus, having haters is a good thing...I uv haters lolol
Love this❤❤❤❤❤
I 110% respect your ability and willingness to self reflect and then share yourself so openly...that’s not an easy thing to do....it’s refreshing, beautiful and rare that you will...just a thought::: maybe you’re an empath 🤷♀️🤓
Had the same issue, what helped me through this is realizing.
Yes, I'm good a person, but I should also have a nobel Aim, and strive to improve every day, cause that will actually make life better. (I'm not saying people should change their personality, but they should strive towards reaching their potential for doing good in one way or another.)
You are an easy target. Someone who admits being alone/lonely and have other issues you want to confront. Bullies see it as an open goal to attack someone who does something they never would dare doing in a million years at some point when they are in a bad situation in life. It's hard not to put attention to them.. But try. They are not worthy of your time, thoughts, comments or anything really. Keep going forward!
I agree with you. I’m going though same as you.
"Don't try to be liked by everyone when you don't like everyone."
I like that your videos become more motivated and you even think about it yourself much of it because you've experienced it in a harder way. Your audience do feel the same way
There will always be haters. You don't like everybody yourself so why asking yourself why someone doesn't like you?
Yea I was wondering too why you would wanna make videos /getting attention from negative thoughts. That would effect your own life because your thoughts direct your life. Better stay motivated, when you have the audience you can change lives. Be a model. Thanks for sharing.
Hey man. I struggle a lot with this and I searched for something and found this video. Wasn’t going to watch but glad I did. I grew up being pretty lucky, I had lots of friends, I’m pretty good looking, smart, girls seemed to like me and all that stuff. But I still have a serious issue whenever I find out somebody doesn’t like me. I find that I only like girls if they don’t like me first, I try to win people over who don’t like me or reject me. I find girls who are harder or impossible to get the only ones I go for. I often take advantage of girls by flirting with them until I know they have an interest in me, then I get bored and do it to someone else. It’s like I don’t want to be with them, just need them to like me and I need to know they do. It’s affecting some of my relationships and friendships and it’s really bothering me. I don’t want to keep hurting/annoying people especially my friends. I just feel like I have little self love and try to fill it with followers, likes, girls having crushes on me. It never gets better. I have been feeling this way for years man and I don’t really know what I can do to make it better unfortunately.
You are a sweet man! If I was younger and lived near you I would love to be your friend!
You managed to get your Adsense account reinstated that's nice ! Would you mind doing a video on it? My adsense account got disabled too and would like to know how you did it
So true he is so right
Very honest
Been missing you, how have you been? Just thinking of you.
I don't think self love is enough. No matter how much you love yourself, you still want to be loved by others. That's why a lot of people that say they love themselves are still seeking relationships.
Greet vidio man
Thank you for sharing, Kenny; I really needed this! For a while I've been struggling with the need for approval and caring what others think of me. But slowing I'm learning how to love myself and block out the negativity and criticism from others. Great video, man!
One thing I’ve always been told is don’t worry about someone liking u because u look desperate
It's not just somebody for me cuz it's my parents but I must consider them somebody for me as they are narcissistic and hv always demeaned me
Some people won't be good to you or they will be indifferent no matter how you act. This doesn't neccessarily mean they are bad people. Try to let that sink in. They might just be drawn that way, the same way some people don't like the color green or stuff you may like. We're taught from an early age that you should return good for good but that is mostly something kids get told so they behave. They might not be bad people and there is probably nothing wrong in your conduct or ethics. It was just not mean to be. Permit yourself not to dig into the matter and overthink, in search of a reason that was never there.
There was this girl that I liked in school, I was extra nice to her but she was very mean, then I tried not be a "beta-orbiter" and act manly but she became indifferent. 20 years I wondered what might have been the reason until a former friend enlightened me that she had a terrible time at home with her brother, who just happened to look like me. 3 out of every 5 women, especially if they are born with good looks, get molested from a very early age and have to carry that cancer in their soul for the rest of their life. This hideous relationship is actually pretty comon and there was nothing young me could have done to help her. But she found the strength to lieave her family at 18 y.o.a., worked her fingers to the bone and is now happily married with children, so measure your personal drama against hers - and don't whine, but fight on from victory to victory.
Real talk....this is a silent problem.
Me too
Some people are just idiots and talk trash just for attention. It says more about them than you. I've also learned that not everyone is the same and has the same interests and views as others. That's the main reason people will like and dislike other people. If we were all the same we'd basically be like a bunch of robots and the world would be boring. It's all about finding those who you share the most in common with. If I don't like someone either they're a bad person or I just don't share the same views as them. That's ok though. I'm usually entertained by the people I don't like. Generally inside they're the most miserable people on the planet, but on the surface they pretend to be tough guy bullies. But see I don't get angry or upset like I used to. I tend to just laugh at them and egg them on until they break out into temper tantrum. I generally don't troll much. But when I do I'm usually trolling the trolls.
Anyway, I've been through it all so trust me, I get it. I've just overcome all my mental issues. One day after watching motivational videos for 9 months it was just like a light switch was turned on and I just decided to flip them all. I suggest reading a book called the kybalian as well. That single old book gave me all the tools I needed to change the way I think and act. You could buy it or read the free PDF online. I'm not promoting it either. That books been around long before me and it'll be one of the most important books in history long after I'm gone. But I do really think that book could do you and your audience a lot of good. If anyone else here has read it I'm sure they'd agree. Read it a bunch of times till it sinks in.
Finding out someone I care about doesn’t like me would hurt greatly but if it’s not a relationship I have invested myself into, would obviously hurt less. But, am generally super kind and friendly. My parents were the same with other folks.
Edmund Burke; “ Manners are of more importance than laws. Upon them, in a great measure, the laws depend. The laws touches us but here and there and now and then. Manners are what vex and soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refines us by a constant uniform insensible operation. Like that of the air we breathe in. “
Today, with the me generations, it’s so tough. I think your brave to have this channel on YT. You always have very rational takes on sensitive issues. I hate the haters. They are so useless. Just keep being you, I like you and I think your steady and kind. Again, great background.
No more videos on this channel?
You Should Play Minecraft
im sad that I failed at everything in life, Im a youtuber now but it seems like Im failing this as well, I wanted to grow but no one seems to want my works
coolasianbro ur not failing! Keep going I would give you advice try sticking to one thing on ur channel.
Are suicidal people too self aware of the emptiness of this world?
As I Understand it Charlie I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently. Maybe we think too much
@@soupey find me at @creature4hire on twitter to discuss this further. My name is Charlie there
I be ur friend x
Jesus Christ in my life is what makes me have peace. Always there with no judgment and loves me unconditionally. People can be mean due to hurt pasts and Unforgiveness. Doesn’t excuse behavior. Keep being you without trying to please other people. I have learned that those people that I want to like me are not even kind people. Why surround myself with people like that? I have the choice of who I want to invest in as friends. Keep pushing brother.
It's funny actually... Because I try so hard to get people to like me. Yet, those types of people don't go to the gym, not making 6 figures, don't eat healthy or less. Smoke cigarettes, nor want to improve their lives
If someone don't like me , i don't CARE .
I hate when im trying to do something hard and stressfull , Random , i found someone doing weird things , im not doin' nothing and listen to music , in my country , every kid has a lot of talents , but me , nope
When i watch stories on Instagram and posts ,im feeling bad
Im just a cringe romanian dude..
Hey, romanian brother XD. My advice is to give up Instagram. Like, forever. And Snapchat and Pinterest and whatever you can think of. Limit your time on them if they're necessary for school homework or the like, otherwise delete them and never look back. Drop the idea of talent. Talent doesn't exist, in my opinion. There is no such thing as being good at something without hard work. Social media is designed in such a way that you only see the good part of people, the end result, and not the effort. A good example would be a new car, a drawing, a trip, friends, actually anything is a good example 😅. Find something you really like and put effort into it. Or just do it because it brings you joy. Do it for yourself, not because you want to be better than others at something. This is a challenge for me too.
@@simontimea7487 chestia e că nu am timp , sunt ocupat cu școala , fiindcă am un program super nașpa , dar abia în weekend mai am timp sa fac ceva și chestia cu Instagram mă oftic pur și simplu că alții au atâția urmăritori sau atâția prieteni . Acum incerc să-mi găsesc un talent sau o ocupație și să mă las de o „chestie”
Fk em. If you need to be miserable and depressed to find the help and process then go with it. Depression is as normal expression. ❤
It's a pity you're not gay. I'm a gay man, and I fancy you! X x
Are you an INFJ?
you only have 9k subs
WHATT TGE FUCKCK