Loneliness - Why It's Hard to Make Friends
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
- Let's talk about loneliness and why it's hard to make friends. I know a lot of people are lonely in today's world and it can be difficult to know how to make friends. In this video I share a few reasons why I think so many people have a difficult time making friends. These are just my thoughts, and I'd love to know what you think. Thanks for watching!
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I’ve struggled to make friends and be accepted for years now, part of it is my fault because I’m too afraid to put myself out there combined with social anxiety makes it difficult, I really wish I could find introverted people with similar mindsets to be friends with I just want to feel accepted...
DepthofDarkness just like me.
Hello there
We are on the same page
Kenneth Stahl fuck u imposter
man, there's an app called meet up. it's quite nice, you can be friends with people based on common interests
Friends are temporary. It is a waste of time and energy trying to “make” them. The genuine friends would naturally become your friend and stick around for the long haul without much effort at all.
I learned that the hard way
That's not true if you want to keep friends you should care about them and be there for them it is important to know that friendship is like a baby you have to take care of it to grow
jaren Garnett This sounds very... self indulgent.
You still got to make friends to find genuine friends. You still got to put in the effort.
True friends are hard to find
You are correct. I don't have any friends. I have people that I'm cool with, but no friends. There is a difference.
Ain't that the truth
Wow dude, I understand more than you or anyone can know! Unfortunately, I am now in my late 50's, I am gay, and I have always been in the same place you are. I have suffered helplessly my entire life. Now that I am reaching the end of my life as an older gay male with no one, I realize how sad it really is! I understand where you are. I just keep pushing on day by day, and even have the empty hope I wont die alone. I have already accepted, this is what it will be, and am trying to find a way, not to be lonely, but am a realist and understand, it is what it is. Its almost like dying, wanting friends around you, but realizing there will be no one! Listen, hang in there, you are young, and you have plenty of time still!!!!!
Mike Johns: It doesn't matter what your age or sexuality is. You have to be upbeat about who you are, and conduct your life & develop interests that makes life exciting to live FOR YOU. Get rid of that pitiful attitude you have, and get out there and interact with others. If they reject you because you are gay, or because you are an older person, than they're shallow people and not worth being around in the first place. Be proud of who you are, dude, and never let your situation or circumstances keep you down. You owe it to yourself to live a fulfilling life, and to hell with what others think, as long as you're not harming them or violating their civil rights. Remember, you only live life once.
I don't see any reason to go on them. I know I will always be by myself and That s not a life worth living for me.
I don’t want lots of friends just good friends, ppl I feel safe with.
Same
same, i don't even have one. but I wanna chart and know people
Never had a friend that lasted more than one year
Growing up I had so many "friends" and as I grew older I realized that many of those "friends" were'nt true so to avoid drama,backstabing,and heartach and been let down I got a dog he does not give me drama has never backstabbed me and has definitely never given me heartach what he has given me is unconditional love,now that's real friendship!!
I have no one who wants to be around me I have nobody I remember in elementary school the kids would call me names all the time and at lunchtime nobody ever sat by me I am getting old now and I don't want to be a burden I cry almost everyday I'm just tired of struggling, just very very tired
Dude I know exactly what you mean .my personality kind of sucks . terrible social skills which makes it so hard to make friends . people think I don't like them but it's not that it's just I'm an Introvert I've only made friends online and then we meet in person .but in real life ,nothing lol
same. i cant even a find a job..
to work.. i am 21 and my life is not normal
@@Andrew-lq1zz what do you do majority of the day...
I got this from a street fighter movie. "Where I walk, I walk alone." it helped me to find the joy of walking and being alone. Thus reprogramming and transforming my suffering into something positive. Because those words shift your perception if they are attractive to you and if you are standing behind it it becomes a strength.
Loneliness is a growing epidemic. I've always had trouble making friends, I don't have much family and really I just seem to rub others the wrong way. Yet, I have to keep trying. We're social animals, we require connection. The alternative is to just roll over and die. My latest plan is to reach out to others, people who are in the same boat. The socially awkward, the painfully shy and other social misfits. So, that's my latest idea - a Meetup group, essentially. I'm still trying to live the best life I possibly can. What other choice is there?
Hi 😇💌💌💌
Beth S Elliott, I would like to be friends with Beth ...
Here we are trying to analyze ourselves, trying to figure out how and what we can do for other people hoping they'll stick around, while there's some people out there ignoring their friends calls, going around their back and straight up abuse the friendship and people still come to them like a moth. 😔
Conversation skills plays important role
Small talk, learn to active and reflective listening, humour so you are both enjoying the conversation. These are all skills
Ken I relate to you on so many levels. You are a good and loving person and I am glad to call you my friend.
I do try sumtimes i text people but they don't text bak so
Hi💌💌
I'm sorry that had happened to you. Hope all is well now.
Going on a lad's night out and being in the company of "friends" who think you are an ass-hole, who envy your possessions, who laugh at you, who couldn't really give a shit about you, who perform authentic vanishing acts the moment you go through hard times ... just makes you value the opportunity of being alone.
I really like your videos. They remind me there’s other people who feel the same as me❤️
I have a problem where I easily make friends but struggle to maintain them, to build them into hanging out or going places and/or talking outside of when absolutely necessary.
Thank you, Kenneth, for normalizing this experience.
...and for fostering hope.
Love your videos 👍 Dont let not having friends hurt your feelings, honestly alot of people are full of shit ! Be lucky in life to have 1 or 2 real friends. Dont change who you are just to be around people, let your light shine little brother 🌞
As an "adult" I don't have any opportunities to make friends in real life and I don't know what to do, where to go.
I found your videos recently but they really string a chord man. Thanks for being exactly who you are and putting yourself out there!
I am elderly 88yrs old and I don’t have many friends in fact with the exception of one maybe the rest
are just acquaintances. In the past I had friends but they are now deceased and quite frankly I don’t make
an effort probably now because I feel what’s the point at my age it can’t be lasting!
Fortunately I can live without being surrounded by people and no I don’t feel lonely. I have a back problem
and have to now use a walker. This has been a big set back because I have always had dogs and used to enjoy
Walking them. The dog I have (from the pound) doesn’t like the walker so that is a simple pleasure I have had to give up. My husband is now deceased so I really am on my own. Will join my one friend and a couple of her friends for Christmas lunch at her place(should have been here) but following surgery she is immobile.
My dog is Company and we know each other well. I recommend having a dog, when you are out walking it
people always stop and talk as they do when I am deheading roses and want to get on! Cheer up if you are Young and put down your Smart Phone. Merry Christmas. J
I also see a lot of people that don't really offer a lot in terms of personality and conversation but it never stops them from attracting people.
I would love to see you make a Discord. It would be awesome if we can set up a voice chat appointment and I can share with you the struggles I've had over the years of developing and maintaining friendships.
Thanks. I can relate a lot, for most of my life I hardly talked to anyone , but I have made some progress. I think one doesnt need a lot of friends , quality over quantity 🙂
Being friendly is also about being interested in others, who they are, their background and opinions. It’s a two way street and it can be hard finding people who understand this. There is nothing more boring than talking to someone who only talks about themselves, but this might be about being nervousness. Self centeredness is a real drag. Be prepared for the fact that there’s a lot of that in the world today with social media. It’s a real bane in modern society. Be patient and don’t settle. Not worth surrounding yourself with selfish users. Better to get a dog.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts love from iran 🌹
I'm also irani (but I live in Sweden).
It’s getting harder to meet people let alone making friends it seems these days. People are becoming busier because of their social & economical lifestyle, they are usually working long hours, many jobs and they are already too tired and no time left for even themselves...etc. It’s also the online technology culture is to be blamed. There are more & more people now they don’t know how to interact to each other in an actual social and physical place. They do know how to interact a little on line but when it comes to actually meeting physically and carrying the conversation is a different thing and takes some skills and effort for sure. But all that’s said, you are the one has the key to this. And you don’t need friends who are shallow, interested in only for their own status, benefits like convenience and maybe someone to take an advantage of. If you go to, for an example, to a place you can actually help other people in needs, or even visit hospitals where those patients are very lonely and sad, you can go and talk to those patients although you will probably need to register yourself first with them. That’s another way to get to know not only those patients but also those medical professionals working there. You could go to the Church if you feel like more spiritual (and I recommend this the best) and God is always with you but you just need to open your heart to let Him in. You will receive incredible comfort and peace in your heart. And Churches usually have different groups they gather for numbers of reasons and they are ALWAYS welcoming new people. You can even talk to those priests or ministers who work there about your anxiety and problems and ask for their advices. But please never give up on not putting any effort anymore because the feeling of loneliness will eventually get even worse especially as you get older. I’m in my 50’s now and I can tell you right now. So if you are still younger than myself, please don’t give up and it just takes practice but it will get better. Some people might not show interest in you but that’s not the kind of your friends to begin with and you will meet someone who is your fit is and takes from there. Sometimes it does really sucks but don’t lose hope, get up, dust off and keep going forward. Again, you don’t need bunch of friends like on Instagram or Facebook who are dazzling & shining on the surface but they could be actually lonely, too! They are maybe just showing off in front of camera and they might not be even real good friends to each other. Maybe just party friends who are living in a lavish lifestyle. You just need a few good friends who understand you and accept you and motivate you for the better and hopefully you are, too for them as well.
Peace, hope, happiness and love to you!
🙏🏽✨🕊🍀💛✨
It's been since middle school for me. I'm even in the military (USAF), and I still can't connect with anyone. I never believed in superstition but I'm beginning to think I'm just destined to be alone.
Feel the same
U are not alone .. we are all in the Same boat lol
Well I don't know why it's so hard for you guys because I can make friends with ANYONE very easily. Sometimes random people would just walk up to me and start talking to me. They would tell me about their lives n stuff.
I see a lot of people though that are equally quiet but yet they are consistently invited places. I'm not sure anymore if there is a reason why some of us don't have friends. I have found too that people that say they don't have friends always have weekend and weekday plans.
Some people have few friends because they are too honest about what they want and they have the capacity to be alone in long periods of time. Sometimes, it's also the society. You just the variety that does exist or is not common to your environment.
1. Don’t lose interest in making friends and putting effort.
2. Meetup is awesome when you join the right group.
It can definitely be very hard to make Real Friends...
Clearly the problem is society in general, esp. English speaking ones.
Heyy new Subscriber here Thanks so much for your videos i struggle with A lot of the things you so eloquently speak About 😊hope your having a good day
I have friend who never initiates anything and does not take an interest in anybody's life. For example, I remembered his birthday but he totally forgot mine. I thought it was so rude! Still, I have not given up on him.
This is awesome! So well discrabed ...that's totally me...I can't read cues and that always make people think I am weird and un interesting
Hey man, these videos are great, and also very helpful. Thank you. 🤗
I like watching your video because Im so lonely live in nz with no friend.
yes same here. all my life. started as a child. always in outside of circle. I'm 37 just turned . and live at home with my one parent. my mother. I don't drink,drugs,ir go clubbing. I'm not in school. nor yet working soe too hard to make friends plus I have no idea wat kinds of things to say to someone to engage in a conversation to were it leads to her giving out her phone number so I feel ya.
OMG， man. your today's video is so constructive , so useful for me . thanks for you sharing , I'm much older than you ,but How can I never have got this thread in my mind?
you are so good !
I would love to know what you think about this subject! Why is it hard for some people to make friends?
My opinion: its hard to make new friends because people now on days are all about drugs and celebrities and none of those fascinates me. I am alone but I still have my family.
For me personally even when I make new friends they seem to just disappear or I end up deleting them online after asking them to play games or do something so many times and they don't respond or only ever want to do the one thing they like. Finding real friends is really hard especially as you grow older and you lose many friends because they are too busy starting a new family and working to support it. I have really bad social anxiety as well so meeting people in person is a nightmare but in the end it seems like most people can just vanish from your life anyways after putting in so much effort to make them a friend in the first place. Making work friends has never ever worked out because when one of you change jobs or gets promoted then you never hear from them again it never seems to be a real friendship anyways.
Autism can be a factor
For me its trust issues. If i can spot anyone at the corner of the classroom/place who seems at the same boat as me, a loner or have no friends at all then my extrovert jump out and i will honestly talk to u, make jokes with u, ask u to hang later bla3. Im a extrovert turned loner turn introvert kinda.. Due to past "friend"ship.
@@christopherkeroro723 same funny guy turned sick
Conversation skill is the base of friendship
If you have extraordinary communication skill - your are more social
Not everyone have this sill
Dear Kenneth, it's Easter & it's now my 23rd year of spending it alone, I can't make friends because I've become socially isolated & an introvert, people will like me if I take up drinking and smoking weed again, but I want a clear head these days, everyone has their earplugs in, playing with their cell/mobile phones so it's impossible to make friends with them, thanks for your videos, Cheers from Adelaide Australia 🇦🇺
Simon Eden You suck. I know you've posted a horrible comment to his video "no wonder you've got no friends you're ugly & negative"and it obviously says about you
Honestly I've been trying to battle this but still I have trouble making friends. Crazy part is that I'm a "beautiful" woman but I'm always just a work friend or a childhood friend I'm never a person where they'd want to spend time with and it really messes me up because there's a stigma that if you're a "beautiful" person you're super social and that you have a lot of friends but I don't. I'm not a social person I'm always sitting in the corner even if I got all excited and dressed up but fuck I always hide but I do want friends. To me I find myself a bit pathetic because I know I can have a great experience with friends but I'm too much of an introvert. :/
Ask yourself if you're friend worthy. And if so ask can I be your friend? Don't expect anything with no strings attached. Time will tell.
Can I make a suggestion? Go to nursing homes or senior centers. A lot of seniors are lonely but have a lot to share. My friends are older and crave company as do I and I have a lot of friends now.
I have no friends
Instead for all the reasons why you cant, think og all the reasons you can. Its about you thoughts and your attitudes and your conditioning. Start to become aware and change it. Take responsability, you are not a victom!!
Same here as you but by choice.Party people aren't my cup of tea although i'm an extrovert and i can start a conversation with anybody.Thing is that i prefer to go into the nature(bike),visiting places,talking deep meaningfull conversations,playing video games,surfing the net BUT, if i don't have that kind of people to do those with,i prefer my own company.Sometimes i'm fucking sad that i live in this times!so welcome to the "hope i'll find a way out of this shit" wagon.Cheers from Europe🕊
I thought making friends would help my melancholy and existential anxiety, but I'm having more and more doubts that it will. In all self-honesty, I don't think I really want "friends". I probably want employees, followers, acolytes......I want project assistants who will, for the most part, obey me. I realize now how unlikely this will come about, and I'm trying to accept it. I'm going to a Meetup tomorrow but I'm pretty much apathetic about it. Of course, I'm going to try to be "positive" at it, but I feel it'll probably be a pointless exercise.
I’m 15 and last year I used to always cry about not having friends, and then when I got to high school I met a couple people and I started getting out the house but still mostly staying in.... my social anxiety got better, I’m never nervous in Public anymore.. I actually feel happy but I still have to work on making genuine friends.
First, thank you Ken for addressing a very, very important and meaningful topic. I applaud you for that. Opportunity is a factor, but unless you live like a hermit in the woods, the opportunities to interact with others are likely all around you and just need to be noticed. I heard years ago that everyone's favorite word is their name - people want to hear about and talk about themselves. Eye rolls, and lack of connection tends to happen when folks talk about themselves rather than ask questions or show genuine interest in the person you are with or talking to. Observe people, in the store, on the street, etc. and ask about their day or their situation, etc. That will make a connection that you can build on over time - starts with a good first impression and establishing a rapport. Leave it at that - and build on it the next time you run into the same person (perhaps at the corner store, gas station, etc.). My son is so much like you and I've shared this channel with him. He spent so much of his childhood believing that classmates were his "friends". In truth, they were classmates but not friends. They did not have a common connection, other than physically being at the same school, in the same class, with the same teachers. Friendship requires connection - all sorts of connections like having a common favorite teacher, worst teacher, favorite subject/class, activity and being able to talk about those experiences. Without talk, all the ideas, feelings, etc. stay in your head and that builds walls and anxiety, not friends. By the way, just meeting with others who struggle similarly with making friends and talking about the ideas you raise in this video will make friends - that is your strength - and your "connection" to literally thousands of others who suffer in silence. You may want to consider starting the occasional "live stream Q&A" sessions to discuss and share with many of your subscribers. Alternatively, start a local Meet-up group specifically with a mandate and venues for people struggling in similar ways to make personal connections. Most cities have "social" meet-up groups but they are organized by and run by extroverts. That won't work - as you likely already know.
I appreciate your thoughts, Kenneth. I graduated high school in the '90s never having really connected strongly with people outside of my own family. You've made some good points that seem to be the Golden rule: Do to others in the way you'd like for them to do to you. The rule assumes the success comes by making the first move, something which I've never done. Having been raised by introverted folks, I've always had the impression that if people cared about me, they somehow were supposed to make the first move. Nobody likes to be rejected but if we don't step out first, we're going to feel rejected nonetheless.
I feel ur pain and my pain because I left all my real friends in middle now I can't in highschool
I had 5 jobs before everyone there so crabby or they just don't want to talk some people say hi to me on the streets but that's about it I feel my best friend RUclips I watch a lot of videos of different stuff makes me happy
I lost friends that I made in high school. In college, I made a few but dropped. I think I have no friend because I am introverted, I never had the opportunity of finding friends maybe awkward.
Me 2 man
@@bluebird1694 that doesn't sound like it would work
im still in college and i can relate
I had a great childhood, tons of friends and was sucha happy kid. But then I kind of. Branched off from people as I got older. I feel you on how it just hits you sometimes, like out of nowhere you are right
Yeah, you can talk on discord it would fit your channel. Moreover i am very happy to see you progress and change. In your first videos you just talked how bad you feel and now i can see you are better and you even start helping people, good job.
Making friends is hard. I stay in more and of course I can do more. But, I don’t because I find the efforts are not reciprocated on a large scale. People are much more selfish and distracted by their phones and the internet. People are more to themselves.
I rather have one friend then 1000 on Facebook and that drama. People are fake and people have so much drama some will never grow up smh .
Why make friends? I really prefer and enjoy being by myself. 😉 People are too talkative and often "empty". I do socialize, but prefer being alone.
Is this Channel still on??!
Insecure?. Some are afraid to be quiet n be in their own head. They don't care what you have to say.. they don't really listen to the other person,, they just want to hear themselves talk. Lol😁😁
I get what you mean. 😎👍
@@dougsmith1987 Exactaly. 😊
Besides that, my worst nightmare is to be boring to people so when I start talking about something I always get nervous about overreacting, speaking a lot, speaking the wrong thing. I have "friends" but I can get closer to them cause I always feel that I will disturb someone, like if my presence is not necessary in any way for them, them I start to feel outcast and close myself. It's really hard. It's not always a disaster, sometimes I get pretty good conversations and we laugh, but I have to do a lot to get there.
If you are like me and spend most of your time/energy working to advance your career, the people you come in contact with aren’t true friend material (because most are looking to advance their career as well and, thus, compete for the same raises/accolades). The only true friends I’ve had was in high-school and college where there was more comradery and less quid pro quo motivated relationships. My hope is in my old age, when i care less about such things, I will meet people in a similar state of mind.
Old Chinese saying..the more people you have met. The more you will Only like being with a dog...
I do put myself out there I found out I am the person who is at the bottom of barrel, all of your friends are out of town? you call me, your friends are busy and you don’t want to do your boring errands by yourself? You call me, horny and your gf is in another town? you call me, dark place and can’t seem to have friends? you call me, and when there is someone better you get ditched not later but in an instant. I give them money, advice and a shoulder to cry on and help. Being social is difficult for me because I’ve been taken advantage of and when I step my foot down they say I’m crazy and just leave
When I was in secondary school and only had 3 friends MAX but about 2 or 3 years in, 1 of them left and the other one I stopped talking to and I don't know why. So then I was down to just 1 friend up until around the time of my GCSE exams. But after my exams, he left as well and that's when I became a complete loner and a whole year later I'm still a loner. I literally have no IRL friends and it's the worst feeling ever and because of it I suffer from extreme isolation, low self-esteem and depression. It's to the point where i'm honestly worried about my future, I feel like I'm going to be lonely for the rest of my life and it's not right for an 18 year old to be a complete loner. I know that because of my autism, making friends isn't easy but fuck me it seems to be impossible, no one at my college even talks to me let-alone wanting to hang out or be my friend. It actually makes me suicidal sometimes along with all the other struggles I have when it comes to my life and mental health and to be honest I want to kill myself, no one even cares about me and I don't care about myself, I know there's no hope for me in life so what's the point anymore especially with this covid-19 bullshit which makes an alright stressful life even more stressful.
I tried making friends..it's Soo tough ..so I don't make it
Meetup is a piece of shit. Just one of its problems: it was purchased by WeWork and is now the very kind of site it was originally not intended to be.
thanks man for opening up
Early in high school I use to have parties at my house consistently for a couple of years and I use to have friends was cool asf to the prototypical “cool” kids and after awhile that shit fizzled out quickly cause the friends I was attracting were fake and I was always an introvert and a loner and the rest of my high school days was garbage, cause I saw how quick friends just switch up on you.
hood luck mate i hope you find meaningful relationships, you seem like a genuine bloke never give up💪
I don’t trust very often that why
U dont have to
MJ I thought you were dead... from propranolol
Proponol lol you 😃
Glad seeing you back again
Ok, but why some people are just interesting to others and they are doing their stuff, while we are there doing nothing and being not interested in anything, or scared to do anything and end up being not interesting to others. Why we can't just be isterested in something straight away
I grew up in Europe and live in the US now. I can clearly say it's an American phenomenon because people are just superficial here
It's a late response , but I agree with you . There ARE nice , genuine people , but there's also a LOT of fake people as well. I can give many examples of this. I've never made friends easily . Though I have a few close connections , I'm alone much of the time. Making friends (at least in the US) can be difficult. You'll meet someone and exchange small talk , but then they'll turn out to be superficial. I've gotten to where I don't trust most people . This will make it especially hard to make lasting friendships as I get older . Though I've been born in and have lived in the US my whole life , I agree with foreigners when they mention the superficiality of a lot of the people here.
Thx for sharing...it helped a lot..👍🏻
I got ostracised a lot. I still am
If u got ostracized from a place or a group of people then u weren't at the right place and with the right people , u weren't where u are supposed to be .. so u dont have to worry too much , u gonna find ur path along with the right people , it's okay to not fit in , cus you are special and unique,.. peace !
@Susan Kelly So she's not allowed to have any other friend but you? If you 'brush off' someone just because they do things with others you're acting like an immature child.
by the way, I use your video as my english learning resource! because your pronunciation is so clear. LOL!
I haven't yet seen the video, and I'm typing this during the ad: friends are overrated, man. (Especially today.) Rise above. Learn more. Your most powerful weapon is time.
Ok, I have now seen the video. I've actually met a lot of my favorite people through those who ultimately wound up being my least favorite people. I don't have either group today because I find that it's so much more effort than it's worth. This is largely based upon my own far-fetched standards for what entails real friendship. I like hanging with people and being outside of my own apartment, but they all seem infatuated with this idea that they don't have time to kick it at my level. In my perspective, they have time to fuckin' get high and watch Rick & Morty, and I haven't yet surpassed the enjoyment they get from that activity. Now random internet assholes reading this will be hasty to say that I sound needy and clingy before learning that I'm (also) introverted, and glean energy from solitude which I then disperse via companionship. Without such a release, I wind up pacing wildly throughout my home for hours on end. A friend who isn't there for me = no friends. This being said, I have forsaken all those who can't so much as say "k" on a weekly basis when I message them. Instead, I opt to delve into things I enjoy moreso than the back burner.
Let me ask you this: Do you approve of the desire for approval?
I want you to research something called MGTOW, but try to ignore the women shit and realize the message behind it.
@@SansAziza that was a nice read , how are you now
Kenneth, you making friends now?
I also want to know if he made any yet
Hey dude just because you go out and meet people does not mean you are not lonely people are always saying how fun and good I am I always try to help people but that doesn't mean I'm not lonely.Or believe what they say about the fun and good part.I'm an introvert you can't change that it's a personality
I don't fucking care about making friends anymore. That's learned helplessness i guess.
oh ya it hit me at age 27 now i am lonely i try to put an effort but my personality of being depressed. i am not attractive and handsome looking i cannot get a job i need to go back to high school dropped out in 2008 at 19 years old . i cannot even go to parties at all it was easy for me as a kid and teenager in elementary school and middle school i had 15 friends but in 7th grade in middle school that's when that started to move out i gave up i was scared of losing a friend cause he moved out .me 27 years old i just have one friend he is a family friend he has friends but there 4 years younger even my family friend . i was born in 1991 my best friend is born in 1994 we both learn to allot i am teaching how to get girls and go on dates with girls how to know if he is in the friend zone he is trying to make me meet new people . the way how i feel is cause i dropped out of high school i was going to go through my 3rd year of 9th grade now 27 years old going back to get my ged 2019 . i was also told meet people in classes and crap but i need money for classes so that is out of the question. i been lonely since i was 18 years old most of it my school friend i grew up since kinder garden through high school all moved away. should i go back to school get my ged night classes my mom said i could meet people my age 27 years and up .
Just go out there, literally
Be confident about yourself and don't try to please everyone. There are many people have wanted to be friends with me and that is OK but most I don't want to socialise with them on a regular basis. I have a few true close friends and a fantastic girlfriend who is a true friend. If you are intelligent then you tend to want few friends. I personally like solitude and I am lucky because I live on my own. I am happy to see you are gaining confidence.
I have no.trouble meeting people or being involved in group settings but I still feel lonely
I think why people's are having hard time to make friends is not only just something with that person but the people who she/he get meet with. There are people who don't talk first unless other person starts a conversation and when they starts the conversation they seems like more open and friendly.you can't just blame yourself from this but both parties. Does this sounds make any sense. If you agree hit a like
We’re the most connected society, yet we’re the most lioness
Such people are not aware of the extent to which there should be closeness with people they want to be friends with.
You can have good social skills but at the same time prefer your own company. I think it is very easy to overthink this issue to the point that you end up being paranoid. "We are social animals" has become a cliche. Yes, there may well be an element of truth in that statement, but of course there will be variations. As an introvert myself, I naturally gravitate to solitude.
Im from a very small Pacific Island and I love making friends wherever I travel, domestically and internationally. Keeps me humble and open-minded. We can be friends.
The people are my friends are using me, to help them with paper work cause they don't understand english, it is waste of time fed up, so decide not to have any friends, I can't find one friend that does not want to use me by being a friend. I think I rather put up being lonely, that is how life is, some time is shit. full stop.
I guess the didn't use you. They just wanted your help and they're grateful. Be proud of what you did. :)
You got friends on RUclips
For me and as you say the key thing is to develop social skills (mainly smiling and laughing more and better) and make a big effort every day to have good conversations with others.
If you have to "make" friends then you're either fake or you're going to make fake friends and you're always going to disappoint yourself at the end. Friendship is like love, you either love the person or you don't, and if you don't love the person there's nothing you can do to make yourself love her/him, but you can pretend to love her.
I've watched your video on this same topic 2 years ago and I've been wondering if that changed so here I am. Firstly of all these comments agreeing, I'd love to put effort in you guys to be friends with because loneliness is the worst feeling ever but facts is just nobody have that much time to put this much effort to everyone. Sadly. I have my people (AND FAMILY) and that's enough effort and time I can give. I put more effort in friendships than with a partner, the reason why I'm single but that don't really matter much to me because I don't feel lonely in the social area. It should be even more easier today with technology to get to know to people and become friends. You can join all kinds of groups, the one u might fit in, just casually talk to them, and well yes, you actually gotta be the one who asks to meet up and come with fun ideas ..
Try not to think of it that much and just try to have fun. What do you do for fun? Are there people who like this too? You like Asian foods? Let's go taste some original Asia food! You like to drink? Let's get drunk! Wanna make up? Let's goo😅
I'm gonna say this, and I truly mean this with all genuine love, you need to stop continually speaking on and thinking about this subject matter. We all hear the saying 'you are what you eat.' Well you also are what you think. If you constantly feed a self loathing/defeated self-talk, it will become harder and harder to break this pattern. You might get a 'small social victory' at some point, but then you will quickly revert to a self-talk of doubt, fear, anxiety and sorrow, because this has been your language for so many years. Any steps forward you might have made in that one evening or weekend will be quickly undone.
As a first step, I would recommend asking yourself new questions. What do I want out of life? What actions am I taking to get me there? What habits/activities do I have that have no intrinsic value? What habits/activities do I have that can bring value to a relationship or friendship? Do I look to deposit more into a relationship than withdraw? What do I need to change or improve to be more desirable to the opposite sex? What kind of outdoor activities or hobbies can I get involved in? There are many others, but you see what I'm getting at.....
I'll be praying for you daily my friend and I do pray the Lord touches your life. I did post a comment on one of your previous videos and I did address that many times God does isolate people when they have a call on their life to know Him. It's not that God is a kill joy who wants you lonely, but it's that sometimes for Him to touch your life, you need to be separate from too many distractions and people in the world who will lead you further away from Him. If you don't believe in Jesus, I do recommend just praying to Him and to ask Jesus that if He really is God, that He reveal Himself to you. He is an amazing Savior and He will show Himself to you. God Bless you brother!!
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@@thenewctc God Bless you too brother! 👊 🙏
@@Enzo0383 thanks man, back at you!
@@thenewctc Thank you brother!
Mr Joshua if you don't mind would you say a prayer for me as well please.