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That’s one of the reasons why I deleted all social media. Now I have to force myself to talk to women in person and get to know them. One of the benefits of not having social media is no more social anxiety.
@onewithnature8435also I’m so fucking done with online dating. It’s fucking cancer, EVERY girl that matches with me is fat or ugly. So fucking stupid, and if I DO match with a pretty girl she instantly blocks me when I leave her on delivered for an hour. You need to have real connection and I learned that the hard way, parties, the street, or connections are really the only way to retain women
I gave up my most used social medias and I feel so much less anxious and my mind feels quieter. I am also starting to crave real connections again. Social media is terrible for society
How I cured my social anxiety 1. Went through extreme suffering that allowed me to realize nothing is as bad as what I’ve been through 2. Realized no one gives a shit about me. 3. Be genuinely curious about a person which will allows me to continue a conversation (typically not that curious about a person unless it’s a woman that’s peaked my interest).
@@bomlife1572 Find something you can latch on to in some capacity. If you aren’t interested in the person then there is no point in having a conversation with them anyways I’ll give you an example. There’s this girl I like, she’s an artist so I ask to see her art I talk about art with her I show her some graphic design stuff I’ve made and just stuff like that. If you can be curious about something that will then allow you to form a bond and give you something to talk about if anything.
It's a cycle, for what starts one way ends completely different another. Theres waves in the cycle to account for. For me, I was recovering from an accident and my mental health was not good. The only way I found the ability to talk to others is because it started from the feeling of "if I can make them more uncomfortable than I am at this moment, I win" I could not trust anybody. I moved in strange ways on purpose, walking the pier or at the mall. I'd randomly laugh. I'd pick someone to wave at. It got so normal for me to stay in character, I forgot who I was. Repetition is a master to all
@@nictibbetts it creeps but doesnt stay long anymore. I take a win when I can lol I believe everyone should experience trauma, through trauma comes humility.
You are the fucking man bro. I was in the full masculine state, 4 years ago. Totally indifferent to outcomes with women, and they were flocking to me. Got destroyed off my horse by a semi-permanent disability that's ruined my life. I've been trying to build back and started to fall into the liar/inauthentic character, hiding the truth. Totally blew an interaction with a girl today but the end of this video really lifted my spirits. I'm out here trying.
The way i see it and what has made talking to girls since a young age easy for me is the not knowing bout tomorrow mentality. If i see a girl im interested in i go up to her and strike up a conversation. It does not matter what you talk about as long as you confidently talk to the women. Dont be afraid guys, ive literally opened conversations with girls by telling this girl once sitting at a bench at my university that i liked her shoes, then after like 4 minutes we ended up talking about how i was gonna introduce her to actual good shows when she comes over to my place (obviously teasing her). Thats another thing guys, dont be afraid to tease, she knows your playing. But most importantly, be yourself. And by that i mean, do not try to be another man. Dont try to tell a girl “eyy mami how you doing” tryna be all suave if you aint naturally like that. It will be cringe. If you a serious dude, be serious, assertive and tease and laugh with her. If you the more chill laid back guy dont be afraid to show it. Women love guys that are unapologetic. Own who you are. Ive gotten rejected too, just like every other guy on earth. And guess what, YES even guys like henry cavill, michael b jordan, charlie hunnan also go through rejection too because not every women will like them. Whether it be for their personality, face, etc. Own who you are. Start talking to girls like its your last day on earth, if she rejects you, its not personal, move on to the next bro
I just approached a woman because of this video and it completely made my day. The compliments I gave her and how I made her feel made my heart extremely happy.
Well done man! I haven't managed to approach a girl yet but I really want to and I've been very close to do it several times. I know it's easier than I think but sometimes it's scary...
It’s why Im here too I wanted to approach women but my anxiety kind of makes me back out. I will approach a women hopefully soon and see what kind of reaction I get hopefully a positive one and not a negative one
We are very creative in finding excuses not to do something. The thoughts are just thoughts and their purpose is to keep you safe, but being safe is not getting what you want whether it is in relationships or in life in general.
This message definitely resonates with me... years of making excuses not to simply state my true feelings. And it certainly does eat away at your soul - even more so when the girl was literally doing her best indicate interest... literally what an idiot. So now, before it's actually too late to bother, I'm trying to finally overcome this curse & talk to people openly. One thing I've found is approaching girls who you aren't overly attracted to, making conversation & finding something sincere to compliment them for allows you to build confidence & experience gradually so that you can then be far more relaxed, confident & comfortable approaching girls who you are more attracted to 😊
I found that by asking people what their opinions were and taking a basic level of interest in them, people would open up to me, sometimes almost dying to have someone to let stuff out to. If people know you aren't going to judge them, it's surprising the conversations that happen
Alright, I'll check out your program. This reminds me of when Mathew Hussy said that men "wait for the right moment," meaning that they wait until they think it's easy to approach-- this is another example of people following the path of least resistance.
I'm a high functioning autistic. It's not fear for me, it's knowing what to say, if I knew what to say I'd go say it. I just don't understand the art of conversation
Im 52 and still make mistakes, I’m aware now so can course correct thanks to information like this that you already have inside you, Uncle C reminds us of this fact, cheers.
I hear you, Casey. I have been through this myself, and though it has gotten much easier for me to talk to people in general, I still get some serious anxiety when I cold approach women that I am attracted to. I freeze up,y mind goes blank, and those 'internals' you are talking about start giving me trouble. I think the reason for this is because I get get myself to speak the words I intend to say, and when that happens, anything else I say makes me feel like I have an alterior motive which I'm sure the other person can sense. I'm getting better with this, but I still find it to be challenging. Anyways, thanks for the great content. I'm loving your approach. ✌🏼
You're working out a scenario in your mind that plays differently IRL Pick one thing to approach a woman over, not on her beauty but is she reading book, is she crafting anything, art? Focus on one thing that is noticable she has an interest in and work from there. Dont ask for her number or if she is single. You're coming at this with a lot of assumptions. Dont think on their behalf, what's done is done. If you are calculating how they'd respond, it does come off fake. They're women, countless in number. You're going to fall in love with their beauty or their mind. It's that simple. Natural isnt calcutive, wickedness is calculative. Atleast where I stand, I can only imagine what a woman might think about that. Calcutive usually means I'll say the right words to get in your pants, that's not what you're going for. But that will be how it comes off. Say f it, and she will think what she does, if she doesnt appreciate what you say off the cuff, why waste your time on someone you cant be natural around. I say hi to everyone, I talk, I might come off a bit wierd but there are weirder people out there than myself. Be confident who you are as a man, and the right woman will see that and appreciate that. All the best. I think everyman has to carve his own path, what works for me wont neccessary work for you, I understand that. What helped me is say hi to old people, and it kinda evolved from there. I started saying hi to others not just women too. I realised if I make it a game, and I get the most points I lose. The more I talk, the more points I get, and lose. People lile talking about themselves and their day, it's only after they talk about their day that I realize that they also want to know about me by asking questions to. This something that every man has a different understanding of.
My problem is that I did this very often and I am I would say good in that but I get rejected in 98% of the time and there are situations like before where I wanted to approach and freezed out and said to myself this one here goes nowhere and I continued to walk and now I'm at home and having flashbacks...
I am waiting for my new job to start! Once I get my first paycheck. I am 100% interested in taking one of your classes. A lot of your videos resonate with me
I tell the truth, I empathize with others, I try to connect with them through shared experiences, I try to bring positivity to them, doesn’t even matter. People suck.
A big struggle I face is that I'm almost 40, and women have never really been into me. They always wanna be friends, which is cool, but now, it's just stuck in my head that "if someone hasn't been interested yet, they're not going to be at this point." Trying to shake that mentality is so difficult because I have a lifetime of evidence behind it. I watch these friends who I've expressed interest in and have been rejected by start dating others and then because I'm the friend, I have to sit there and listen to all the crap about how much this guy is a loser, and that guy treats me like crap or whatever. All I'm really hearing from them is, "Despite all of the crap from these partners they have, those guys are still a better option than me."
Try to separate yourself from being friends with women for awhile at least and get some weekly therapy to discuss your limiting beliefs as they seem pretty entrenched, I'd recommend schema therapy as it works well for people who have deep rooted unhelpful beliefs that they can't seem to shake. GL
Thanks very much! I've never heard of that kind of therapy. I'll look into it! When I was a teenager, around 14-16ish, my dad would point out that I was making a mistake with having primarily females as friends. I prefered females as friends ever since I was a kid, because guys would bully me, but the girls in my classes were always nice. My dad would tell me that what's going to come of that is that I'm going to start having crushes on them and want more than friendship, but to these, now women, as we grow older, they've already got that amazing friend in me and they don't want to lose that, so they're not going to be interested in more with me. Now, they're all starting to lose that friend because I feel as though I've been taken advantage of for all these years. I've also been told that it's a big red flag to have women for friends. I have so many female friends who claim that I'm amazing and all this stuff, but now when I start chatting with a woman it's like, "Well... why don't THEY wanna date you, though..?" Apparently, I'm so amazing, yet my friends want nothing to do with me... I can see how that would be a red flag. I'd be very leery of that as well, I suppose.
@@OneWhoWandered YW. We're a similar age so I know it can be a mentally tough time for us blokes approaching 40. About the men bullying you when you was younger, it says more about them than it does you whatever they did or said it shows their character. Do you hit the gym? It can be a lifesaver if you go at it hard enough. You can become a better version of yourself it all starts with small steps and consistency. Take care mate ATB 🍻
The art of being truthful becomes how to translate what your feeling in statements to other people which accurately describes , without judging. Most people never took a logic class and don't know the difference between a truth value statement an evaluative statement.
what angers and upsets me about guys always having to do the approaching, is that its guys, men, are the only gender that can screw up or mess up an interaction that makes the other person feel uncomfortable, get labeled weird or creepy, because i know this has happend to me and i'm sure tons of other guys, is that when we get labeled weird or creepy, accidentally make the woman feel uncomfortable, it makes us feel like a social retard, makes us feel very stupid. It no doubt makes many of us say to ourselves, why can't it be common sense to know what is creepy and weird, and what is not. I'm sure it makes tons of us guys, men, feel like a social retard when that happens, if we accidentally scare or creep the woman out, and even if us guys, men, do get better at approaching, having better interactions, attracting women, the scars or wounds, the pains of all those approaches or interactions gone awkward or horribly wrong, can remain forever permanent, that we sadly never forget them.
When I'm at the gym I know women are getting closer to me for something to happen. They make noises when I'm around, they stare at me.. but I just haven't gathered up the courage to say anything.. I'm always thinking "if they wanted me, they'll say something".
my boy is an extravert and he really helps me to get outta my shell. I was in a horrible car accident when I was 18 and I lost all the bone in the right side of my face and my teeth got knocked out.. costs me about 5-6k to fix the damage to my teeth and I hadn't been in a position to pay that kinda money until very recently so this really tanks my confidence. like it's overall pretty high, but I don't smile often and it honestly hurts.. I'm always worried about it cuz I know if people knew the reason my teeth are fucked up they'd understand and not judge me.. but when talking to a complete stranger that's the first thing they notice and it just appears like bad hygiene.. I hate it.. I have a lot of things I've always wanted that I'm getting into the position to have finally like a motorcycle (my boys ride) tattoos (full sleeves), my dream car, everything.. but it's all getting pushed to the side so I can finally have my smile back... never give up on yourselves kings. We got this shit no matter the issues.
I find that approaching isn't that hard, but coming up with engaging/interesting things to say can be challenging, especially if the girl doesn't give u much back. There're days when my mind goes blank and freezes and I stand there like an idiot, making the girl feel awkward. And with two girls it's even tougher. It's fking hard man.
Aa with anything, that's why you practice. The more you do it, the better you become. Messing up just helps you mess up less and less the more you do it.
Thing is not to make a big deal on approaching , you can't possibly get rejected just by making conversation , thats what you do first to test the water
Ok, I listened carefully. But I did not see an actual solution here. I appreciate your sincerity and the fact that you successfully addressed your own perceived social issues. However, I cannot see that this will work for others.
This guy is 1000 percent right , but unfortunate truth is that unless a girl gives you an inkling that she might be interested,no guy will ever approach a girl, the thought of being outright rejected does way more damage psychological damage than anything you could ever know
it's crazy you actually think this Believe me a guy will still attempt to talk to a girl regardless of whether she has gave any inkling or not I've seen guys do it to girls that hadnt even seen them before the conversation started I've done it myself also but I've seen it done by friends countless times sometimes it will work sometimes it wont. Best way to look at it is if you don't someone else wil, you can't please everyone and won't be everyone's type. I used to be more confident myself but have lost it the past year or two and now suffer with bad anxiety or I wouldn't be here especially leaving a comment but I hope it helps.
@@mikedavies9716should I ask a girl in my college class that I like her. Or should I do it do random girls on campus to not make it awkward if she says no
@@aarongonzalez4458some say that you should talk to her and getting to know first but I personally think it’s a waste of time because chances are that you could be friendzoned or that you could be putting time in while another player gets her first be for you do. Go for it bro. If she rejects you then move on and find another girl and repeat the process. Best of luck to you my friend
@@aarongonzalez4458 Best advice I can give you is know how to read the room, start off with “excuse me” when you go up to them and then ask how they’re doing. Introduce yourself and then go from there, trust me it works but it won’t every time just don’t let it get you down
Get over the rejection pain. Think of the anxiety as approach energy. Make you move with the objective of giving her a valuable experience. Give her a gift of value, then you don’t even have the objective of getting her number or making a connection unless that presents itself
You're talking about radical honesty and being Direct. The problem with this is its simply not possible and even the best way in some situations. For example on a train where the carriage is busy and i see an attractive woman. If youre honest as you said she may not feel comfortable. Also in this situation its hard for her to escape. Also at work or in the gym its much better to start conversations more casually about something youve noticed. While it might sound like good advice to just be honest and tell a girl why you approached her it doesnt necessarily mean she will react positively. Its perfectly ok to open indirect and if you see there is mutual interest then you can show intent.
The number one issue with being a nice guy is, LYING. About who you are, what you want, what you dont want. Past few months that the only thing on my mind, not gym not business not skills. But STOP LYING just that being honest that all then everything else will fall into place, I'm sure of it. Thanks brother
I have a problem, I cant see that well, I can feel wen they look on me, but they must talk to me if something would happend + I’m a turkish person that liv in Sweden, can I bond to swedish women, or do I must find a turkish women as well? My type are short in length, slim body shape, with curly long black or brown hair, preferably in the early 20s
I am soo str8 fwd now some girls find me offensive, but I can't stop being like that because the truth is, I don't really care bout the outcome, either they comply or reject, I find it fun to go str8 2 the point with women.
how do i do this im fed of being lonley anxious and using computer or phone to avoid being a social being tech has sucked my soul away :( i just want to meet some new friend and partner
The problem is not the approach but rejection men don't want to be rejected if they approach because it can make them insecure and that's why they don't like to approach woman.
Everyone sees out of their eyes, feel with their hearts and inside their own heads. Everyone wants to meet good people and everyone has a good and bad things in their past
If everyone were the same things would be much easier. When I go out to bars to enjoy a beer, nothing annoys me more than when women approach me to talk. I just assume some women are the same.
If anyone doesn't agree with someone's ideals in this field, it is best to ignore them and don't argue over anything. Perspectives vary from person to person. This advice tries to pander to the top echelon of men, not low tier men. Listen to all opinions with a grain of salt. Red flag detection is genuine advice, but how to attract anyone is not always true to everyone.
@@kingZactheMerciless even if a gal is easy going, you also have to be careful of their deceitful patterns, if there are any. Just because a guy or a gal is easy for one doesn't mean they are easy for others. Their me first centered agenda dictates otherwise. For your convenience, I am a trained vetter assigned to monitor these forums over such selfish behaviors.
U look like Steve Rodgers😂. Frtho😐this video is very helpful relatable etc I wish they showed stuff like this at school sutch good genuine thoughts that everyone could benefit from
Dude... why haven't you approached her already? Walk in front of her when she's resting, do a big posture to get her attention and i guarantee you she will take her headphones off. I'll say it as a friend would "don't be a btch"
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Q
Here’s what you don’t understand though. Do these woman deserve my attention? No… no they do not.
As you already said - courage is not the absence of fear, but to do things regardless of fear. Telling the truth is the only way to build character
"Take risks even if it scares you", important sentence
If you take no risks you'll earn no reward.
That’s why it’s called a risk
That’s one of the reasons why I deleted all social media. Now I have to force myself to talk to women in person and get to know them. One of the benefits of not having social media is no more social anxiety.
@onewithnature8435cope
@onewithnature8435also I’m so fucking done with online dating. It’s fucking cancer, EVERY girl that matches with me is fat or ugly. So fucking stupid, and if I DO match with a pretty girl she instantly blocks me when I leave her on delivered for an hour. You need to have real connection and I learned that the hard way, parties, the street, or connections are really the only way to retain women
You do realise youtube is social media, if you've deleted those you'll definitely become more addicted to this, I know because it happened to me.
I gave up my most used social medias and I feel so much less anxious and my mind feels quieter. I am also starting to crave real connections again. Social media is terrible for society
How I cured my social anxiety
1. Went through extreme suffering that allowed me to realize nothing is as bad as what I’ve been through
2. Realized no one gives a shit about me.
3. Be genuinely curious about a person which will allows me to continue a conversation (typically not that curious about a person unless it’s a woman that’s peaked my interest).
Hey,, can I ask something? How do you do this "Be genuinely curious about a person"?
@@bomlife1572 Find something you can latch on to in some capacity. If you aren’t interested in the person then there is no point in having a conversation with them anyways I’ll give you an example. There’s this girl I like, she’s an artist so I ask to see her art I talk about art with her I show her some graphic design stuff I’ve made and just stuff like that. If you can be curious about something that will then allow you to form a bond and give you something to talk about if anything.
It's a cycle, for what starts one way ends completely different another. Theres waves in the cycle to account for.
For me, I was recovering from an accident and my mental health was not good. The only way I found the ability to talk to others is because it started from the feeling of "if I can make them more uncomfortable than I am at this moment, I win" I could not trust anybody. I moved in strange ways on purpose, walking the pier or at the mall. I'd randomly laugh. I'd pick someone to wave at. It got so normal for me to stay in character, I forgot who I was. Repetition is a master to all
@@marashbourne5964 Based and schizopilled.
@@nictibbetts it creeps but doesnt stay long anymore. I take a win when I can lol I believe everyone should experience trauma, through trauma comes humility.
You are the fucking man bro. I was in the full masculine state, 4 years ago. Totally indifferent to outcomes with women, and they were flocking to me. Got destroyed off my horse by a semi-permanent disability that's ruined my life. I've been trying to build back and started to fall into the liar/inauthentic character, hiding the truth. Totally blew an interaction with a girl today but the end of this video really lifted my spirits. I'm out here trying.
Big ups me to big dawg
Keep going bro!
The way i see it and what has made talking to girls since a young age easy for me is the not knowing bout tomorrow mentality. If i see a girl im interested in i go up to her and strike up a conversation. It does not matter what you talk about as long as you confidently talk to the women. Dont be afraid guys, ive literally opened conversations with girls by telling this girl once sitting at a bench at my university that i liked her shoes, then after like 4 minutes we ended up talking about how i was gonna introduce her to actual good shows when she comes over to my place (obviously teasing her). Thats another thing guys, dont be afraid to tease, she knows your playing. But most importantly, be yourself. And by that i mean, do not try to be another man. Dont try to tell a girl “eyy mami how you doing” tryna be all suave if you aint naturally like that. It will be cringe. If you a serious dude, be serious, assertive and tease and laugh with her. If you the more chill laid back guy dont be afraid to show it. Women love guys that are unapologetic. Own who you are. Ive gotten rejected too, just like every other guy on earth. And guess what, YES even guys like henry cavill, michael b jordan, charlie hunnan also go through rejection too because not every women will like them. Whether it be for their personality, face, etc. Own who you are. Start talking to girls like its your last day on earth, if she rejects you, its not personal, move on to the next bro
Great advice thanks for sharing
This guy seems to be one of the rare few self improvement guys that sounds incredibly accurate and valid
I just approached a woman because of this video and it completely made my day. The compliments I gave her and how I made her feel made my heart extremely happy.
Well done man! I haven't managed to approach a girl yet but I really want to and I've been very close to do it several times. I know it's easier than I think but sometimes it's scary...
I just can’t get myself to compliment them
@@nolifezay4636 Why not???
W comment, W guy making people’s day better 😎😎
It’s why Im here too I wanted to approach women but my anxiety kind of makes me back out. I will approach a women hopefully soon and see what kind of reaction I get hopefully a positive one and not a negative one
We are very creative in finding excuses not to do something. The thoughts are just thoughts and their purpose is to keep you safe, but being safe is not getting what you want whether it is in relationships or in life in general.
This message definitely resonates with me... years of making excuses not to simply state my true feelings. And it certainly does eat away at your soul - even more so when the girl was literally doing her best indicate interest... literally what an idiot. So now, before it's actually too late to bother, I'm trying to finally overcome this curse & talk to people openly.
One thing I've found is approaching girls who you aren't overly attracted to, making conversation & finding something sincere to compliment them for allows you to build confidence & experience gradually so that you can then be far more relaxed, confident & comfortable approaching girls who you are more attracted to 😊
Props! This was me @ my job, instead of allowing my personality to shine I tried to be the lone wolf and just outwork everyone.
*Overcoming approach anxiety is tough, but your tips really hit the mark. Confidence is key!*
I found that by asking people what their opinions were and taking a basic level of interest in them, people would open up to me, sometimes almost dying to have someone to let stuff out to. If people know you aren't going to judge them, it's surprising the conversations that happen
Alright, I'll check out your program. This reminds me of when Mathew Hussy said that men "wait for the right moment," meaning that they wait until they think it's easy to approach-- this is another example of people following the path of least resistance.
I'm a high functioning autistic.
It's not fear for me, it's knowing what to say, if I knew what to say I'd go say it. I just don't understand the art of conversation
This
Brilliant. As a society that has been shaped and dominated by anything digital, we as humans quite simply need to connect again.
Just wanted to say thank you for this real video. It really spoke to me and motivated me to get out there and be honest to myself
You don't need to be confident, you just have to let go of the fear.. Casey 🔥
That is what confidence is
Good stuff. For anyone. This is just as helpful to me, and I'm one of the older guys who've made huge mistakes, and are finally wising up.
Im 52 and still make mistakes, I’m aware now so can course correct thanks to information like this that you already have inside you, Uncle C reminds us of this fact, cheers.
Dude. One of the realest videos I’ve ever watched. Thank you
I hear you, Casey. I have been through this myself, and though it has gotten much easier for me to talk to people in general, I still get some serious anxiety when I cold approach women that I am attracted to. I freeze up,y mind goes blank, and those 'internals' you are talking about start giving me trouble. I think the reason for this is because I get get myself to speak the words I intend to say, and when that happens, anything else I say makes me feel like I have an alterior motive which I'm sure the other person can sense. I'm getting better with this, but I still find it to be challenging.
Anyways, thanks for the great content. I'm loving your approach.
✌🏼
You're working out a scenario in your mind that plays differently IRL
Pick one thing to approach a woman over, not on her beauty but is she reading book, is she crafting anything, art? Focus on one thing that is noticable she has an interest in and work from there. Dont ask for her number or if she is single. You're coming at this with a lot of assumptions. Dont think on their behalf, what's done is done. If you are calculating how they'd respond, it does come off fake. They're women, countless in number. You're going to fall in love with their beauty or their mind. It's that simple. Natural isnt calcutive, wickedness is calculative. Atleast where I stand, I can only imagine what a woman might think about that. Calcutive usually means I'll say the right words to get in your pants, that's not what you're going for. But that will be how it comes off. Say f it, and she will think what she does, if she doesnt appreciate what you say off the cuff, why waste your time on someone you cant be natural around. I say hi to everyone, I talk, I might come off a bit wierd but there are weirder people out there than myself. Be confident who you are as a man, and the right woman will see that and appreciate that. All the best. I think everyman has to carve his own path, what works for me wont neccessary work for you, I understand that. What helped me is say hi to old people, and it kinda evolved from there. I started saying hi to others not just women too. I realised if I make it a game, and I get the most points I lose. The more I talk, the more points I get, and lose. People lile talking about themselves and their day, it's only after they talk about their day that I realize that they also want to know about me by asking questions to. This something that every man has a different understanding of.
My problem is that I did this very often and I am I would say good in that but I get rejected in 98% of the time and there are situations like before where I wanted to approach and freezed out and said to myself this one here goes nowhere and I continued to walk and now I'm at home and having flashbacks...
@@marashbourne5964bro it has to be her looks what else can I say
Another way to look at it...Life is short why not be honest and take that risk.
I am waiting for my new job to start! Once I get my first paycheck. I am 100% interested in taking one of your classes. A lot of your videos resonate with me
Man this is ditto what’s happening with me all the nuances, it’s like somebody peeped into my brain to see what’s going on !
I tell the truth, I empathize with others, I try to connect with them through shared experiences, I try to bring positivity to them, doesn’t even matter. People suck.
Another master piece video by Casey! Thank you for your great content!
A big struggle I face is that I'm almost 40, and women have never really been into me. They always wanna be friends, which is cool, but now, it's just stuck in my head that "if someone hasn't been interested yet, they're not going to be at this point." Trying to shake that mentality is so difficult because I have a lifetime of evidence behind it. I watch these friends who I've expressed interest in and have been rejected by start dating others and then because I'm the friend, I have to sit there and listen to all the crap about how much this guy is a loser, and that guy treats me like crap or whatever. All I'm really hearing from them is, "Despite all of the crap from these partners they have, those guys are still a better option than me."
Try to separate yourself from being friends with women for awhile at least and get some weekly therapy to discuss your limiting beliefs as they seem pretty entrenched, I'd recommend schema therapy as it works well for people who have deep rooted unhelpful beliefs that they can't seem to shake. GL
Thanks very much! I've never heard of that kind of therapy. I'll look into it!
When I was a teenager, around 14-16ish, my dad would point out that I was making a mistake with having primarily females as friends. I prefered females as friends ever since I was a kid, because guys would bully me, but the girls in my classes were always nice. My dad would tell me that what's going to come of that is that I'm going to start having crushes on them and want more than friendship, but to these, now women, as we grow older, they've already got that amazing friend in me and they don't want to lose that, so they're not going to be interested in more with me. Now, they're all starting to lose that friend because I feel as though I've been taken advantage of for all these years. I've also been told that it's a big red flag to have women for friends. I have so many female friends who claim that I'm amazing and all this stuff, but now when I start chatting with a woman it's like, "Well... why don't THEY wanna date you, though..?" Apparently, I'm so amazing, yet my friends want nothing to do with me... I can see how that would be a red flag. I'd be very leery of that as well, I suppose.
@@OneWhoWandered YW. We're a similar age so I know it can be a mentally tough time for us blokes approaching 40. About the men bullying you when you was younger, it says more about them than it does you whatever they did or said it shows their character. Do you hit the gym? It can be a lifesaver if you go at it hard enough. You can become a better version of yourself it all starts with small steps and consistency. Take care mate ATB 🍻
The art of being truthful becomes how to translate what your feeling in statements to other people which accurately describes , without judging. Most people never took a logic class and don't know the difference between a truth value statement an evaluative statement.
As a 14 year old male this helped me a lot to understand why I can't connect with individuals thanks Casey
what angers and upsets me about guys always having to do the approaching, is that its guys, men, are the only gender that can screw up or mess up an interaction that makes the other person feel uncomfortable, get labeled weird or creepy, because i know this has happend to me and i'm sure tons of other guys, is that when we get labeled weird or creepy, accidentally make the woman feel uncomfortable, it makes us feel like a social retard, makes us feel very stupid. It no doubt makes many of us say to ourselves, why can't it be common sense to know what is creepy and weird, and what is not.
I'm sure it makes tons of us guys, men, feel like a social retard when that happens, if we accidentally scare or creep the woman out, and even if us guys, men, do get better at approaching, having better interactions, attracting women, the scars or wounds, the pains of all those approaches or interactions gone awkward or horribly wrong, can remain forever permanent, that we sadly never forget them.
Casey Zander For President!
When I'm at the gym I know women are getting closer to me for something to happen. They make noises when I'm around, they stare at me.. but I just haven't gathered up the courage to say anything.. I'm always thinking "if they wanted me, they'll say something".
My bro said hes on fire😂😂 i feel you bro , nice level up
my boy is an extravert and he really helps me to get outta my shell. I was in a horrible car accident when I was 18 and I lost all the bone in the right side of my face and my teeth got knocked out.. costs me about 5-6k to fix the damage to my teeth and I hadn't been in a position to pay that kinda money until very recently so this really tanks my confidence. like it's overall pretty high, but I don't smile often and it honestly hurts.. I'm always worried about it cuz I know if people knew the reason my teeth are fucked up they'd understand and not judge me.. but when talking to a complete stranger that's the first thing they notice and it just appears like bad hygiene.. I hate it.. I have a lot of things I've always wanted that I'm getting into the position to have finally like a motorcycle (my boys ride) tattoos (full sleeves), my dream car, everything.. but it's all getting pushed to the side so I can finally have my smile back... never give up on yourselves kings. We got this shit no matter the issues.
AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN. the 1% everyday that kills me has me made this horrible person but I believe in change.
I find that approaching isn't that hard, but coming up with engaging/interesting things to say can be challenging, especially if the girl doesn't give u much back. There're days when my mind goes blank and freezes and I stand there like an idiot, making the girl feel awkward. And with two girls it's even tougher. It's fking hard man.
Aa with anything, that's why you practice. The more you do it, the better you become. Messing up just helps you mess up less and less the more you do it.
That's the hardest part for me. I can approach anyone it's just that I run out of things to say and then it gets awkward.
Lying to yourself is a lack of self-assertiveness and therefore a lower self-esteem
I'm scared of loosing my freedom.. I'm scared of being used and then cheated on, by choosing the wrong girl, yet again!
Rejection from girls is better than regrets.
Pfft that means you ain't man enough. Focus on growing yourself first g
My issue isn’t approaching, it’s the one word responses they give me that lead to an awkward silence
I’ve been single for months hoping to swipe on the girl of my dreams. I’m gonna get out and actually try.
This has some truth. Don't care for most of his other material but this one is okay.
Thing is not to make a big deal on approaching , you can't possibly get rejected just by making conversation , thats what you do first to test the water
Ok, I listened carefully. But I did not see an actual solution here. I appreciate your sincerity and the fact that you successfully addressed your own perceived social issues. However, I cannot see that this will work for others.
my nerves still gets in my way talking to any girl, when cold approaching.. i try to talk slowly, with a smile, but it never gets easy
While maybe not perfect I commend you because this is great healthy advice.
Women are dying for real connection and to meet people organically - spot on, Casey
This guy is 1000 percent right , but unfortunate truth is that unless a girl gives you an inkling that she might be interested,no guy will ever approach a girl, the thought of being outright rejected does way more damage psychological damage than anything you could ever know
it's crazy you actually think this Believe me a guy will still attempt to talk to a girl regardless of whether she has gave any inkling or not I've seen guys do it to girls that hadnt even seen them before the conversation started I've done it myself also but I've seen it done by friends countless times sometimes it will work sometimes it wont. Best way to look at it is if you don't someone else wil, you can't please everyone and won't be everyone's type. I used to be more confident myself but have lost it the past year or two and now suffer with bad anxiety or I wouldn't be here especially leaving a comment but I hope it helps.
@@mikedavies9716should I ask a girl in my college class that I like her. Or should I do it do random girls on campus to not make it awkward if she says no
@@aarongonzalez4458some say that you should talk to her and getting to know first but I personally think it’s a waste of time because chances are that you could be friendzoned or that you could be putting time in while another player gets her first be for you do. Go for it bro. If she rejects you then move on and find another girl and repeat the process. Best of luck to you my friend
@@aarongonzalez4458 Best advice I can give you is know how to read the room, start off with “excuse me” when you go up to them and then ask how they’re doing. Introduce yourself and then go from there, trust me it works but it won’t every time just don’t let it get you down
Get over the rejection pain. Think of the anxiety as approach energy. Make you move with the objective of giving her a valuable experience. Give her a gift of value, then you don’t even have the objective of getting her number or making a connection unless that presents itself
You're talking about radical honesty and being Direct. The problem with this is its simply not possible and even the best way in some situations.
For example on a train where the carriage is busy and i see an attractive woman. If youre honest as you said she may not feel comfortable. Also in this situation its hard for her to escape.
Also at work or in the gym its much better to start conversations more casually about something youve noticed.
While it might sound like good advice to just be honest and tell a girl why you approached her it doesnt necessarily mean she will react positively.
Its perfectly ok to open indirect and if you see there is mutual interest then you can show intent.
A much needed wonderfully explained video
Ppl want genuine connection
Wow. So true
This is the existentialist viewpoint. Sartre called these self-limiting excuses "bad faith"
Great video! Thank you for your insight 🙏
thanks brother, really inspirational video!
This is great that this is being tought.
Fear is an illusion
Great video, thanks for posting!
The number one issue with being a nice guy is, LYING. About who you are, what you want, what you dont want. Past few months that the only thing on my mind, not gym not business not skills. But STOP LYING just that being honest that all then everything else will fall into place, I'm sure of it. Thanks brother
Yea, I dont think you have to become the game as you said in some new video, but this is the right thing to do.
I have a problem, I cant see that well, I can feel wen they look on me, but they must talk to me if something would happend + I’m a turkish person that liv in Sweden, can I bond to swedish women, or do I must find a turkish women as well? My type are short in length, slim body shape, with curly long black or brown hair, preferably in the early 20s
Nice bro 👍 your putting out real truth my man 🔥
I am soo str8 fwd now some girls find me offensive, but I can't stop being like that because the truth is, I don't really care bout the outcome, either they comply or reject, I find it fun to go str8 2 the point with women.
Fucking fire mate! Your content is gold!
Shits! Ive been lying to myself for the longest time!
Its less anxiety about what she will think of me and more so will i make her uncomfortable. Its a sympathy thing for me
how do i do this im fed of being lonley anxious and using computer or phone to avoid being a social being tech has sucked my soul away :( i just want to meet some new friend and partner
Here’s what you don’t understand though. Do these woman deserve my attention? No… no they do not.
The problem is not the approach but rejection men don't want to be rejected if they approach because it can make them insecure and that's why they don't like to approach woman.
This is something I've always struggled with.
Everyone sees out of their eyes, feel with their hearts and inside their own heads. Everyone wants to meet good people and everyone has a good and bad things in their past
good stuff Casey
Dude the first couple minutes of your video is me
Great video mate, great video
The hair is looking good champ
Great video brother. God bless you
Thank you saved my life
thnx mr Casey for sharing these life experience .
If everyone were the same things would be much easier. When I go out to bars to enjoy a beer, nothing annoys me more than when women approach me to talk. I just assume some women are the same.
I'm suffering from Avoidant Petsonality Disorder
I love this dude
Boosted my confidence 💪
I feel the way I feel, but I'm not gonna tell you because I don't trust you. People would use it against me, so why even try...
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Wow amazing analysis
It’s the worst when a female shots her shot on you in person and you can’t even speak 😂😂
If anyone doesn't agree with someone's ideals in this field, it is best to ignore them and don't argue over anything. Perspectives vary from person to person. This advice tries to pander to the top echelon of men, not low tier men. Listen to all opinions with a grain of salt. Red flag detection is genuine advice, but how to attract anyone is not always true to everyone.
You sound like your a perfect candidate for his MBT program. I have pulled women way way out of my league. It’s all about frame/behavior.
@@kingZactheMerciless even if a gal is easy going, you also have to be careful of their deceitful patterns, if there are any. Just because a guy or a gal is easy for one doesn't mean they are easy for others. Their me first centered agenda dictates otherwise. For your convenience, I am a trained vetter assigned to monitor these forums over such selfish behaviors.
Some guys probably don't care if they get reject
so i just bite the bullet and do it???
Greetings from Dubai uncle C!
Dude your so right
This is the way!
So Casey tou mean that whatever you want to speak in front of girl speak with confidence without fear what will she think
This is excellent
uh no i aint telling this guy or that woman is stupid although it is what I truly think. You can't just be blunt 100%. Its not feasible. Period.
Not every woman is the same. 99% of the women I meet are in a relationship and it’s the first thing they say.
U look like Steve Rodgers😂. Frtho😐this video is very helpful relatable etc I wish they showed stuff like this at school sutch good genuine thoughts that everyone could benefit from
Thanks Casey 🤝Rosen checking
What you’re talking about is self-policing and it’s a big unattended consequence of civil-society
I like one girl in the gym , but she is always wearing headphones .Should I still try to approach her
Dude... why haven't you approached her already? Walk in front of her when she's resting, do a big posture to get her attention and i guarantee you she will take her headphones off. I'll say it as a friend would "don't be a btch"
I AM tying to find them video where I commented saying good things about You I want to find that video and delete that comment.
lol whys that
Hahaha