This is what happens when a whole nation or even race can’t accept who they are. As long as they will not spread love towards each other and accepting how they look, nothing will help them..even a plastic surgery or photoshop. It will only cause more damage to already sick and tired society. They never stop at 1 surgery, it’s just becoming an addiction.
Rubbish. Park Jimin has monolids & he is THE most beautiful man on the Planet. Monolids are very attractive to many ppl regardless of boy or girl. I think ppl convincing under eighteens to hv surgery is appalling. Let them hv surgery later, not as actual children! Her mother is just disgraceful with this - nothing ruins a daughter's confidence than a mother telling her she doesn't "look nice" am appalled.🙏💜
“Thank you mommy. You spent all this money to make me cuter. That makes me happy.” Those 3 sentences should never come out of a 9 year olds mouth when it’s a SURGERY shes referring to.
Honestly I was EXTREMELY disturbed and disgusted by how well and deep the manipulation went, that little girl mostly had a sad look on her face that basically said “get me out of here” or “I don’t want to be here talking about this, let alone be doing them, but I’m afraid of making mom angry” and just the answer she gave for the question about what the little girl’s ideas about what beauty is was EXTREMELY disturbing, like GEEZ! GET THAT POOR KID OUT OF THAT HOUSE PLEASE! 😰😫 THE WAY THE MOM JUST LOOKED AT HER DAUGHTER AS SHE SAID THOSE WORDS AND SMILED WHILE NODDING IN APPROVAL, WTH EVEN IS THIS DISTURBING DISTOPIA-LIKE WORLD WE LIVE IN?! THE GOVERNMENT WOULD RATHER ALLOW LITERAL CHILDREN WHO HAVN’T EVEN REACHED A DOUBLE DIGIT AGE, AND ARE NOT EVEN DONE GROWING, BOTH MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY, BE PUSHED AND PRESSURED INTO GETTING SURGERIES THAT THEY CANNOT EVEN PRONOUNCE, LET ALONE EVEN BEGIN TO TRY AND START TO COMPREHEND ANY OF THIS CRAP!!!! 😫😫😫
I just paused this & told both my children (9 year old fraternal twins) how beautiful they are. Thank you for bringing light to this. This was truly heart breaking.
It works both ways though. If their really ugly but believe they are beautiful they won't settle with an average guy and end up a bitter unfulfilled cat lady. Best to just tell them they are plain and average
@@kenfryer2090 bro ur messed up bringing couple relationships at this age like 9? Most woman don't enter relationship with men ( average ) because they think there not good enough
The saddest part of this video was the little girl looking at herself with the markings on her eyes. The thought of her being taught that she needs surgery to be beautiful is so heartbreaking, especially considering her mother, the person that's supposed to affirm and encourage her the most, is the one perpetuating this self-hate. This is so sad.
I don't think a desire for surgery necessarily constitutes self hate. I have gender dysphoria and intense body incongruity. I don't necessarily hate my body as much as I hate any part of my body that is male and most trans people get surgeries for gender affirmation rather than beautification. Though the ladder does accompany some surgeries like BA/BBL
@@gokibros4451 I understand your point, although I have wondered how it's possible to have gender dysphoria and not self-hate. From the outside, it does seem like a rejection of oneself at a base level. But, I realize that's also a privileged perspective for me to have since I've never felt a conflict between my body and my gender. And gender is only one facet of who we are. In relation to my comment, the mother stated that she never saw someone with a monolid that was beautiful, which would include her own children. My concern is she's imprinting that ideology unto her daughter. Our parents are our first teachers and, until we mature, our perspectives about ourselves and the world are largely informed by them. I imagine it'll be difficult for her to grow up with strong self-esteem... Similar to the woman who had over 100 surgeries. Finding your footing in this world is challenging enough without parents kicking their own kids in the shins.
This is just appalling. Hearing her sobbing during the procedure made my stomach hurt. The saddest part to me is that it probably wasn’t just the pain that was scaring her, but the fact that her eyes were being cut into and she would never be able to look the same again. Very traumatizing. She’s only 9, her mother sucks. I hope this stops.
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly. We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
I had lower blepharoplasty 2 years ago. The injection of anesthetic was painful and the entire procedure was uncomfortable and difficult. This mother should be in prison.
When I was little , my mom would take me to the Asian markets with her and strangers would say to my mom , “what a pretty girl “ . Her reply was, “she’s not pretty “. This reminds me of how parents can messed up their little children.
Yeah, my mom and acne f-ed up my self-esteem. I was called ugly by her and my relatives at a very young age for having tanned skin. Funny thing is: it was strangers and my mother’s friends who kept telling me how pretty I was.
Can identify! That's a very Asian parent thing. My father used to tell us how brown we were (in summer, out in the sun all day in the days before sunscreen awareness), like it was our fault and a bad thing (which it is to Asians, as historically, being tanned and brown meant you were a field worker, a poor peasant etc.). He'd also point out to us our flaws, told me my eyes were crooked, made fun of my freckles, and we had to have weekly or monthly weigh-ins and height measurements where we'd be berated for not growing taller or for putting on weight.
@@hannahdurga3277 I heard somewhere that some Asian cultures do this as a way to stay "humble" or show humbleness in a way because you can't really be "greater" than anyone, similar to how in Japan when you get complimented by your work you MUST say things like "Oh no it's nothing at all, really, I don't deserve the praise" even if you might actually deserve it and might have worked your ass off At least that what I have heard from foreigner RUclipsrs who have lived in Japan for some years now and have needed to get adjusted to the culture and social Interactions, don't know about other Asian countries tho
My mom hated me and told me repeatedly I was ugly. I won a beauty contest and got modeling assignments with top companies but I couldn't shake off that feeling of being ugly. Now I'm fifty and I realize what happened, but I also feel that now aging has caught up with me... Growing up in India as a woman, you are judged by everybody, harsh comments and low self worth haunt all women.
Am Indian too and none in my whole family… not a single woman had such issues. So please do not make your situation as a general statement for all Indians. My sister was very dark skinned and I was very fair .. but she was the one who won the beauty competition in Delhi. We never ever discussed “looks” at home. All that my adorable mother adviced us was to study hard, and get into a successful high placed job, not depending ever on men. Also we married as per our own choice and never did we ever feel “looks” were important. Feel terrible and sad that you had a mother who called you “ugly”. That’s simply wicked and also primitive. Sorry to be so blunt.
as a indian i could say that even in our school or class the most famous people are the toppers or the backbenchers not the most beautiful person and no one in our family says someone ugly.....
I’ve never seen you so upset, Dr Gary, I think it says a lot! You are usually so unshakeable but we can see it in your face how disturbing the video is. It is disturbing to us too, but surely more troubling for you since this is your field of expertise. Very interesting
Pretty mad! He's so mad he's almost shutting down. It's pretty wild that these parents get in their own head so much they project that insecurity onto their kids. **back in my day** 😝 When I was 9 the only thing on my mind was bicycles and kickball; poor kids man.
I live in Japan, and the society here cares so much about beauty standards that I feel bad for everyone really, but especially for young girls. I'm 30 and I've never had any plastic surgeries, and I feel like I'm constantly reminded about how old and ugly I look. The ads for beauty procedures are very aggressive here. The other day I saw a double eye lid surgery ad on the train, it featured three high school girls and said: "The high school life only lasts 3 years. I want to spend every second as cute as I can be". And it made me angry, because it brainwashes girls into thinking that they are not cute without double eye lids. I had serious issues with my self-esteem after I just moved here, had even to get a professional help, and I moved here in my late 20ies. I can only imagine how hard it is for impressive and vulnerable teen girls.
i was thinking of moving to japan but i’ve struggled w self esteem like all my life up until like a year ago (i am 22 now) but honestly i’ve heard abt the standards in japan and that’s one of the reasons why i decided not to move there yet bc for women everything is so centered on how you look like being “cute” is not going to solve all of my real life problems lol it’s v dentrimental
@まりちゃん, I am so sorry that you are surrounded by this. Please know that this not normal. Society as a whole is morally bankrupt. They value superficial "beauty " instead of what is not seen, one's heart. I would encourage you to try as much as possible to disassociate yourself from this destructive indoctrination. People who do this to their children are pitiful souls.
@@rhodaosei2972 thank you so much for your kind words! It's people like you who remind me that I am worthy even without conforming to today's beauty standards
Unbelievable. How a young girl looks is already constantly under attack just by seeing models and celebrities. To push surgery with its associated risks on a completely healthy population, instead of glorifying education, innovation, a life of service, on young girls puts way too much false value on appearance. Being beautiful doesn’t make anyone a good person or a contributing member of society. The vapid shallowness required to justify this type of barbaric treatment of innocent kids is so messed up.
I'm an asian adoptee who grew up in a completely white, Irish American family. While my cultural upbringing was complex, one thing that I'm glad about is that I was never exposed to asian beauty standards growing up. I didn't even realize there was such strong cultural differences in beauty standards until college, when I started making asian friends and they would talk about things like wanting lighter skin or their families pressuring them to get plastic surgery to look more white, essentially (apparently plastic surgery is given as a gift when you graduate high school in Korea). One girl I met, I thought she was incredibly beautiful - but then she told me that according to asian beauty standards in her home country, she was considered unattractive. I was shocked. Growing up in a white household through the 90's, white Americans preferred tanned skin, and an "exotic" look. As culturally problematic as it can be considered nowadays, I had many compliments growing up for my appearance that actually contributed to a positive view of my own body. There were not a lot of asian people around me growing up, or in media, so I had nothing to compare myself to. So I've never had the kind of self esteem issues that so many women go through in their teens. But if I had grown up in an asian household with such strict cultural beauty standards about eye shape and weight and all that, I wonder how different that would have been...
so true , I'm very mixed and I'm so glad I grew up dutch. I may have only been one of maybe two or three darker kids in class but no one had any expectations to put on me. Skincolour was fine, hair texture was fine, shape of nose. All the things that could have been put on me in other places of my heritage were not. In fact they were usually quite enthousiastic about my differences so I never felt i had to be a blond blue eyed girl. The U.S is so mixed yet they also put so much onto people who are thought of black for example. They had to have straight hair, now that seems to be changing some luckily.
Its really sad, in japan women can go as far as they are pretty in most cases and working insane amounts, average middle income salary is no longer enough so most have to be pretty enough for prostitution and such. I'd guess this tendency of having children do plastic surgery will become more common overtime as it will be the only thing that can give their child an edge over others
@@Iflie Segregation may have been outlawed in the 60s, but long after that there were continued efforts to maintain that status quo. It felt like the only real way to bridge that gap was by “being more white.” I’d like to think we’re making significant progress these days, but it’s a difficult thing to do when it’s been such a loaded issue for so long. Also the people still in charge are geriatric old people who, despite pretending to be progressive, are absolutely not.
@@rubyy.7374 Yeah the u.s is going backwards. And the thing about culture is that things are passed down until black mothers are teaching their daughters about what they should do to their hair to look decent in their eyes. Looking more white gave them advantages right the way back to when they were working as slaves. The u.S system leaves the people in the minority in charge over the majority, people who thought separated bus seats were a great idea are still alive and voting.
My Mom made me get ear surgery to pin back my ears when I was a little girl. I didn't see the problem but she did. That ordeal still haunts me today and has given me body dysmorphia. Whenever I see little girls with ears that 'stick' out or are prominent, I think they are the most beautiful thing in the world.
My parents were quite level-headed, especially my Mom. But they fixated on my ears, told me they stuck out from my head and time and again pressured me to let them get fixed while I was still a minor. The reasoning behind this was that our health insurance would pay for the operation if I was still a child and claimed to suffer because of my ears. Preventing further psychological damage was a good reason for our insurance to pay, whereas if I wanted to fix them later in life, I would probably have to pay for this myself. I was too afraid of having the operation, so I kept my "horribly ugly" ears. What my parents did succeed in was giving me the feeling that my ears had to be hidden all the time, so I wore my hair long. If a small piece of my ears peeked through my hair, I was devastated. Funnily enough, the other kids at school and my friends saw me exactly as I saw myself and agreed my ears were horrible and stuck out at an extravagant angle. Years later, I wanted to wear my hair really short, leaving my ears free for the whole world to see. And now that I had stopped hiding them, the people around me thought they looked quite normal. After another few years, even I realized they did indeed look rather unremarkable. Furthermore, they didn't really stick out at all. They were just a bit on the large side, which really isn't a problem at all. And as you so rightly said, it doesn't matter if ears stick out or not. People are beautiful either way. I really am sorry for what your Mom put you through.
My son has sticking out ears. I think they're beautiful and give his (rather cheeky) face character. A he's got older they've become less noticeable anyway 🤷♀️
I think this is different. Here in Germany Parents used to do this as well. But not because of Beauty reasons, they simply want to avoid their children being mocked and bullied. Whitch was the case many times. It was a protectiv matter and it was and is today a very simple procedure compared to an eye lid. Honestly I dont understand what causes you issues today about your ears sticking out as a Kid.
This is utterly devastating. As a kid my mom would make me stay out of the sun bc “I was too dark” and she would make lean over a boiling pot to heat up my nose and I’d squeeze it to “make it thinner”… she would tell me I was way too skinny and would point out kids I should look like, and even THAT was enough to do a number on my self esteem. Im 35 now and don’t think I’ll ever recover. These poor kids.
You can recover from anything, no matter how bad it is. You just need to bring yourself to the point you make the hard decision that you no longer want to be limited by words and actions other people said and did against you as a child or even as an adult. Is it easy? NEVER! It is incredibly difficult and mentally taxing, however, it is entirely possible. It is a process and a journey which will require confronting and acknowledging all the things that you experienced. Honestly, the power & ability is always within you & if you choose to trust in Jesus Christ you'll have even better healing from all your pain through his Holy Spirit who helps us overcome anything at all, no matter how impossible it seems. He can heal you to the point that when you remember the trauma, it will no longer have any negative effect on you. You will have such immense joy and peace, it's so amazing you might think it's all a dream, but it's real. At the end of the day, everything is a choice, to believe or not believe, to trust or not trust, to change your words and thoughts or not or to limit yourself or come out of limitations imposed on you by others. As Charles Swindol said, "Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it" which is why we have so many amazing motivational speakers out there who chose to overcome all their crushing trauma, whether through therapy, Jesus or their own will power. Your journey to overcoming could be someone's inspiration one day. You Can Do It!
Dr Gary, at 11:56, there's a misinterpretation. When she had her first plastic surgery at 18, her mother was against it (11:42). The story about the kitchen knife wasn't that her mother was shaming her for not having the perfect face, but more so that the mother was upset that her daughter wanted to change the face she was given, hence why the mother pointed the knife at herself saying "I'm sorry I gave you this face".
Yeah. The mother felt guilty because she was born ugly. In Asia, parents believe that they were the one who "give" the children their appearance as well as other genetic defects as we know that genetics are being passed down from the parents to the children. So the mum felt guilty that she "gave" her an ugly nose which caused her to be bullied at school.
Yes! Glad you've tried to highlight this, I think Dr Gary was so shook whilst watching this he jumped the gun a few times before watching more, which split up some of the more nuanced context of what people were saying. This was a big one that definitely wasn't interpreted fully Vs what was being portrayed. 👍🏻✨
I have mixed feelings about his interpretation of the content in this video as well. Plastic surgeons in the West pin back ears all the time to prevent children from being teased... if the child was truly being bullied or socially isolated (told she is always mean mugging people because of her small eyes) due to the Japanese standards of beauty to the point of wanting plastic surgery, how is this different? Not to mention orthodontic surgeries and procedures which are also mostly cosmetic due to American obsession with straight, white teeth. Again, not condoning or condemning child plastic surgery in either scenario as I have never been in this situation. Just finding his, "how does the government allow this??" response a bit hypocritical.
@@eps3154 honestly, I agree with it about pinning ears back, by which I mean, yes, it's barbaric tbh and I'm not sure why that is allowed, nor do I understand why child genital mutilation is not only allowed, but encouraged socially, in the US particularly, I also think that is something that should NOT be going on. I think they're all a similar level of abhorrent tbh 🤷🏻♂️ but maybe that's just me
@@CedarMountainsnow I understand what you are saying because I'm Taiwanese. It does run rampant that parents make crude comments to their children, and I know it all too well. I don't interpret that to be the case here. There's a nuance in this video that is being glazed over. She specifically said her mother was against her having plastic surgery--so for her mother to learn that she was going to get a nose job caused her mother to be upset. The comment "I'm sorry I gave you this face" is more so along the lines of the mother saying sorry to her, for giving her a facial feature that she hated so much that she wanted to change.
As a japanese 12 year old, I was shocked to find this out. Sure, I know that Japan has high beauty standards. For example, double eyelids, pale skin, skinny figure is admired, and there's even a saying that translates to "white skin hides 7 flaws". However, I agree that this is waaaaay too much. Thank you for raising awareness about this!
how ironic, here in America we go to tanning salons to get tan because tan skin actually hides flaws (in our opinion) lol it hides imperfections for like blemishes and stretch marks and cellulite
I have to emphasize that this case (in the video) is extremely rare in Japan, so much so, it became wildly controversial there. Many people consider it child abuse. It seems to be factual that more and more younger patients would like to have a plastic surgery, but many doctors flatly reject it on children.
Yes, he is such a cool doctor. He is so down to earth. A lot of doctors including just GPs have huge egos but he is so kind and does not pretend to be something he is not. He is a special guy.
When I taught in grade schools in South Korea about 6 years ago, a LOT of the 11 to 12-year-olds would get double-eyelid surgery as a gift from their parents. It was normal to have a kid come into class with a patch on one eye at a time so they could still see while it healed. My co-teacher told me that if a female student hadn't had a double-eye lid surgery before high school, their parents must either be poor or not love them! (What?!) As a foreigner, I was the only female teacher at the school who hadn't had plastic surgery, and while I'm considered conventionally very attractive the other teachers would still suggest procedures for me to get done. It didn't bother me, but I did feel uncomfortable that these conversations were happening in the cafeteria with students all around being influenced by overhearing them brag about what they had gotten done or wanted to "fix" next. I'm definitely not saying everyone in S Korea is like this; the culture at that school was toxic in general.
I worked with a woman of Filipino decent and she had constant breathing problems akin to mine after 2 breaks in my nose . We discussed our individual breathing issues one day and she attributed hers to her grandmother pinching her nose daily as a baby through childhood in order to “thin and smooth it” I was heartbroken to hear this and saw how much she was suffering 40 years later
the ancients reshaped heads too, it is wild. I am Filo and have a flat nose bridge, but aside from my side view, I am quite pretty. My family elders taught me the pinching thing as a child, while our bones are not fully developed. Thank goodness I never cared about it and never did it.
my eyes were the first insecurity i ever developed. my mom and grandma made me very self aware that i had monolids since as far as i can remember as a child. they made me associate monolids as an unattractive physical trait. would tell me to tape my eyelids, etc. now i have such horrible body dysmorphia and im obsessed with plastic surgery. i started onlyfans as soon as i turned 18 in order to afford surgery and move out on my own. i got my eyelids done at 19 and i regret it so much to this day. i wish i gave myself time to learn how to love what i saw as flaws. this video is so heartbreaking to watch. poor girl. i cry for her :/
sorry for you it sounds harsh. I wish you can find the many ways in which you can find balance and fulfillment independently from any cosmetic consideration. You were told a terrible lie, and abused into believing it. I know how hardvit is to stop believing these kind of lies.
The mothers inferiority complex is being pushed onto her daughters. The mother is just passing her pain onto her daughters. Instead of protecting her daughters from the standards that hurt her, she's subjecting them to it in a worse way.
I have a 9 year old granddaughter. I cannot imagine my daughter ever doing anything remotely close to this!(she would NEVER do this period). My precious girl is perfect just the way she is - we all love her so much & see her beauty as God made her.👧🏼
I regret not having my teeth straightened when I was a kid because my parents did not care. I was also bullied at school because of my looks and did not smile because of my teeth for the first 20 years of my life. If my parents had taken care of my looks problems as early as they could have I would have avoided a lot of problems at school. The Japanese mother understands that if you are an ugly girl, you will end up alone, and it is at school that you first realise how boys treat pretty girls and how invisible you are if you are not pretty enough. No love from parents can fix it, or therapy in your adult life, as a kid girl you enter a new world, where you will learn that if you are not pretty you are invisible. And it does hurt when everybody talks to your pretty friend and treats you as if you were invisible. Her mother tried to spare her daughter this experience so I understand this. I would probably wait until my daughter is 18 to suggest plastic surgery.
@@Keralasha444 Sure, but many other cultures feel similar pressures to look the same (even if it's completely not normal for their culture & country). I grew up in an upper-class (and image-obsessed) part of Bahrain from ages 9-14, and witnessed plenty of Arabic girls get ridiculed 'for fun' by Arabic guys while said guys throw all the positive attention on Brit/American/French expat girls. One girl kept getting told 'God, look at that f_cking beak' every time our classmates noticed that she existed in the room, even though her nose was completely similar to the guys in her class. There are similar competitive cultures in MANY countries, and people still manage to not drink the koolaid that 'appearances matter everything' or force their kids into surgery (and many of us wound up realising that those that uphold the 'appearances matter' idea? Tend to criticise and nitpick over everything else like hair/clothes/furniture/social status because appearances matter so much to them. Like my mother used to try to pluck my hairline from the age of 11 because mediterranean women tend to have small foreheads and a LOT of hair (and it hurt like hell), but when I squirm away or hide--she turns into an angry, nervous wreck and throws that energy on my dad, our furniture, or our garden and would even do destructive things on purpose to force my dad to spent tons of money/effort to replace the damage she had caused). Consider how this kid's dad (and grandparents/any other relative) was completely absent during the interview, and he didn't even show up when his kid went through that long/painful surgery. If the kid's mom is simply conforming to local culture and pushing her kid through it to help the kid 'succeed', then where the hell is the father (or the other relatives) nodding along with her? Like, I pity her--but I absolutely recognise that this woman's like my mother. Someone who hates and resents herself & her genes, and nitpicks herself and her surroundings (and trust me on this, such people don't hold back when they turn that same critical gaze of themselves right onto their spouse/partner).
“For a girl it’s all about looks. Your personality and anything else doesn’t matter.” 25:54 I am so grateful that my mother never imparted such values to me. Like a lot of the girls in the video, I also grew up in an East Asian country, and I was also bullied for the way I looked. Especially by the guys, who ranked every girl in our class by looks and I came in as second to last. I remember being upset about it. My mom told me that my looks will change as I get older so I shouldn’t feel that dejected, and that even if I didn’t become prettier when I grow up, it doesn’t matter because I could still be pretty kind and pretty smart. Then my mom advised me to study, because physical beauty fades with youth, but knowledge stays with you forever. When I was 18, my mom offered to pay for me to get a double eyelid surgery, and I told her that I didn’t spend my childhood coming to terms with my monolids to change them now. Anyway, I realized that my mom wasn’t actually against PS as I originally assumed - she truly just wants me to be happy. More importantly, she lets me decide what makes me happy instead of making the decision for me. For an East Asian parent, that’s honestly pretty rare.
@ Gan Quan Unfortunately, "boys" are like that all over the world. Living in the NYC area, behind the Statue of Liberty working in NYC starting with summer jobs in high school, going to college, going to concerts, I can't tell you how many times I heard guys say, "Look at that one." In lifeguard classes or swimming (competitive swimmer), the guys are just watching the girls walk out to the pool. It's embarrassing and I always wore a cover up until we had to get in the pool - and not because I was unattractive but because they're staring at you. Some girls feed into the vanity with I'm prettier than you, the same as I'm cooler than you. It's all peer pressure, it's wrong but it's part of growing up. Young people need to get involved with reading, philosophy, meditation to develop their maturity and have direction that steers them away from that mindset and the distress and psychological problems it causes. It's very superficial and life is much more than that. Young adults need direction and depth to understand that.
I wouldn’t say it’s all about looks but if a man approached a woman is all about the looks AT FIRST. Prettier people on average are treated better and they can make more mistakes. Believe me if a pretty woman sneeze and a little peck of spit hit a man’s lip he would not be as bother as if a ugly woman did the same.
All children of race, are all beautiful. All carry unique features. A child does not need to be compare to any other culture for plastic surgery to occur. Let a child be a child.
Amen brother, If only this look on beauty was shared by all we wouldn't have videos like this. I saw a video about S-korea that the parent gift their kid a cosmetic surgery when they graduate.
@@CreationsByB I think you might want to try spewing your hate somewhere else. Dr Gary's channel isn't the place for this, maybe your echo chamber is best. 👋🏻✨
i studied abroad in japan in high school, and my best friend told me she had a double-eyelid surgery in 3rd grade. i was shocked, and assumed it was part of the culture but now that i’m older i realize how crazy that really is. plastic surgery at 8/9 years old….is crazy
My fiancée had jaw surgery over a month ago. Not for aesthetics, but because his jaw was not properly positioned. He had migraines and started to have arthritis on the jaw. The surgery was to position the jaw correctly, so he wouldn’t have potentially dangerous problems in the future. He is still recovering from the surgery. I took care of him for the first weeks and let me tell you - it was rough. Not being able to eat any food, having to keep his mouth closed all the time, the intense pain and swelling.. The first day after surgery we asked ourselves how the fuck some people do this voluntarily.
That surgery is brutal. I wish your fiancée the best. In 1980, I was diagnosed with TMJ disorder. My Dr, was working on non-surgical ways to treat some types of jaw issues. It took 3 years and uncomfortable, but nothing like what he is going through now. Two young men I knew with jaw malfunctions and TMJ, hard the surgery. The changes in each were remarkable. Bless you! Best wishes for the future.
My husband had only a tooth pulled out. He did not even have a swelling. But he could not eat hard food for several days. It was terrible!!! He almost drove me crazy. Because he was hungry and grumpy all the time. People should be happy if they are healthy and do not need any surgery at all.
I should've done this same surgery, but I was too scared of the recovery. In my case, I can control the migraines with preventing medication. My orthodontist accepted because my case was on the edge between surgery and braces treatment, so I opted for braces. 8 long years using those things, but I know I could never face such a drastic procedure, just pulling some teeth was horrible. Hope your fiancée gets better soon.
I completely agree! At age 13 in 1981, I HAD to have double jaw realignment surgery. The left side of my jaws stopped growing at age 9, and the right side continued to grow until I was almost 13. I had braces starting at age 10 to try to correct the bite issues, but they continued to progress. So, 2 months before my 14th birthday, I underwent surgery because while my teeth touched on the right side, I had over an inch gap between my molars on the left when biting. I was never asked if I wanted this surgery, I was just told I was having it. But I think I fully understood why it was needed. I already had TMJ at 13! However, the surgery I had was not cosmetic, it was needed for functional reasons. And since it was 1981, my mouth was wired completely shut for 8 full weeks. I can still remember the pain and long healing time and cannot imagine having elective cosmetic surgery at that age or younger.
@Laura Lowry you sound like my friend. She went through years and years of orthodontics, but still couldn't close her mouth all the way. She had very little chin and an overbite of about half an inch. She had her jaw broken and reset at 16. They were able to make do with tight rubber bands instead of wiring, but she was in a deal of pain post surgery. IIRC it was decided for her as well, but it was the right thing to do as she had problems with chewing and all kinds of breathing issues. She had an amazing smile now, but wow what it took to get there.
I’m Japanese with monolids and when I was young, I remember wanting to get double eyelid surgery. I’m glad I didn’t, because I’ve learned to appreciate my eyelids and I’m in my 30’s now. I know the feeling of “feeling ugly” as a minor, but I think it’s a normal part of growing up. We all have insecurities but we learn to accept who we are as we get older. By the way, there was one part in the video that didn’t translate well. The hostess was saying that her mom apologized to her because she felt bad that she was not able to give her the face she wanted at birth. She didn’t mean that she regretted having her. The mom regretted the fact that her child had suffered so much emotional pain due to her looks. She blamed herself for giving her “undesirable” facial features. I believe she thought that she failed as a mom, that she had failed to give her daughter what she wanted. She regretted her daughter’s suffering so much that she was willing to take her own life, pointing the knife to herself.
Glad someone pointing that out. I understand what the hostess meant so when I heard Dr.Gary interpretation i got quit confused (can't blame him cause the translation is not very clear). 😅 I'm just someone very fascinated with Japanese culture and way of thinking, hope he got to read your comment.
hii i speak japanese, there's a translation error at 18:51. the mom didn't say "I'm very sorry that I made her go through that painful experience." she actually said "I'm so sorry that I couldn't birth her with double eyelids." like the mom's crying feeling bad she couldn't just have given her daughter double eyelids biologically edit!! i just watched the full vice video, in the full thing the mother says is "I'm so sorry that i couldn't birth her with double eyelids. after the procedure i felt terrible making her go through the pain and i told her I'm so sorry, you're so brave. then she [the daughter] said no mommy don't cry, you spent all that money to make me prettier, i am happy. thank you mommy" this is so sick i feel so bad for both of them:(
That is crazy. The phrase is usually for when the child was born with some type of disease. Mothers saying: “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to give birth to a healthy baby” is not uncommon.
@@monicas2461 Many, many times is because of the father or social and healthy situations, but women always take the blame for everything. 🙄 No one can control 100% the genetic and pregnancy's process.
@@monicas2461 It shouldn't be interpreted that way. She literally just wished that she could control what traits/features her daughter inherited (if it's even in their genetics, lol). It's like saying, "I wish I gave my kid blue eyes," when your kid has brown eyes... just because you think blue eyes are prettier.
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly. We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
Poor little sweetheart, she was already so beautiful. How could her mother say she wasn't. The mother put her daughter through this painful surgery for the mother's own vanity. Shame on her.
These little children are being subjected to horrific trauma, and I'm sure this will have a detrimental impact on their psychology and the relationship with their parents.
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly. We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
Perfect quote sir "of course her life hasn't changed, no one is looking at a 9 year old and judging them on how their eyelids look, that's ridiculous".... that's totally what I took away from another one of your excellent content creations. Much love from the UK ❤️🇬🇧❤️🇬🇧
I can’t see how anyone could look at that little girl’s big, beautiful eyes (pre surgery) and think they need to be changed. This is just insane and heartbreaking
I suspect you are far from ugly my dear. I hate the fact that, so-called beauty trumps everything else we are made up of. I know women and men here in Canada who consider themselves sooo good looking, but they are not, they are rude, ugly people who live shallow lives and are missing out on the true beauty of the world. Compassion, love, animals, natures beauty, the beauty of grace and knowledge, of laughter and rain etc. Our inner beauty trumps what a shallow mindset of outer beauty is by thousands of miles.
What makes Japanese people think that something like that makes them prettier? So Japanese woman , that has beautiful face with typically Asian features, would be considered ugly by people from her country?
I am absolutely shocked! I'm Japanese American, I wasn't a cutie when I was that little girls age either but once I got to be a teenager I really blossomed. You cannot judge someone so young on their looks because that changes as they grow. Plus I've seen many gorgeous Asian women with monolids. Poor little girls!
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly. We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
This reminds me so much of my own mom. We're viet & I was born in US, she immigrated. I went through 7 years of braces & had multiple painful oral surgeries because she wasn't satisfied with my smile. She practically jumped on the option when my orthodontist suggested jaw surgery. Luckily at that point I was 18 & able to say no. She's made several comments about paying for "correcting" my monolids over the years too. She got her eyelids done a couple years back & I def don't think they were worth. She's super thrilled with them though. I think the only reason why she didn't try to truly put me under the cosmetic knife was because she couldn't convince my dad. He never thought I needed any surgery & he'd be footing the bill if it did happen. There's something to be said about women projecting onto their children. She was always ragging on me about my weight & now that I have lost weight (from leading a less stressful lifestyle, stress eater) she refuses to even acknowledge it. Especially when other people compliment me. She has eternally been comparing herself to me since I hit puberty. Her current new fixation is "complaining" about my unladylike behavior to her sisters since she has nothing else to pick on me for anymore. I love the woman to death, but I'll never understand her or the shit she used to put me through. Any verbal abuse I get from her now I just roll my eyes, call her a dinosaur (for her prehistoric views on what an ideal woman should be), or tattle to my husband. Hubby wonderfully has no problems with guilting her & making her feel bad like a teacher scolding a 5 year old. I have long stopped looking for validation from her or anyone else really. Maybe just a little from hubby 😉
I too had a mother who was jealous of me, so I know the feeling. Luckily my mom never picked on my looks. Seriously everything came out 'okay' except for a baseball bat hitting my front teeth, so I needed braces. I'm guessing she didn't pick on my looks because she was normal cute/pretty from child to adult. But oh boy, everything else. I'm an only, so she couldn't complain about me to siblings, but she actually did it with my kids a couple of times when they were teenagers & they told me about it...can you imagine?
I have a jealous mother, later learned she may possibly be narcissistic, always criticising, jealous, no love, never was never will be She is who she is and learning about narcissistic mothers really helped me to see things clearly and not take on her trauma anymore
@@Bufekana At the least, my mom was the youngest in a family of 4 & then a codependent alcoholic with my dad. So definitely narcissistic traits built in with those.
There is one thing I find quite interesting. Many Vietnamese people settle in the US, get US citizenship, then return to Vietnam to have cosmetic surgery and cosmetic porcelain teeth. While most of their children's generation got braces in the US, 90% of overseas Vietnamese returned to Vietnam to get porcelain teeth done.😢
As a teen growing up in Asia, my parents couldn't afford the surgery, but I used eyelid tape or glue almost daily and felt I was treated better with them on than without. I'm over all that now and love that I resemble my late grandmother when she was younger.
Abuse comes in many forms. This certainly ranks among them. It's coercive nature bullies a young mind into acquiescence. What an appalling state of affairs.
As a Japanese citizen, I'm pretty surprised that there's no regulation to ban a cosmetic surgery for the underage here in Japan. And it's also sad that these people going thru non stop plastic surgeries, including that mom who had her little daughter have one, were all deeply traumatized by their parents constantly calling them ugly. Hope parents let their kids know they are all precious and loved no matter how they look.
I think it's one of those things where they didn't make the law, because people used to have the sense to not do crap like this. Common sense has done out the window.
Recently there was a big ad campaign in the train/subway of Tokyo promoting double eyelid surgery for teenagers, specifically before they graduate high school (they can change their eyes before starting their "new life" as university student). The price was rather affordable and it was advertised without any mention of risks etc... Very disturbing!
My family is big on adoption and one of my Korean American cousins has the “mono” eyelid and I think she is so beautiful. I love the way she looks and was even jealous growing up because I thought her eyes were fantastic. I had no idea until I grew up that some people don’t think it’s beautiful! I hope my cousin doesn’t doesn’t feel this way. 😢
I think the fact that Dr Gary has a lovely young daughter himself makes him even more sensitive to this topic. I don’t think I have ever seen him so opposed to a concept as in this video (and rightly so).
Maybe plastic surgeons in the western world should lobby WHO and UNHCR to have an international response to what is child abuse. Female genial mutilation is another horror passed from one generation to another. The mutilation has been banned but some mothers still try to have daughters mutilated despite heavy fines and jail time. Children and the elderly are among the most vulnerable in society. We must be united to stamp out these abusive practices.
I've seen children with Down Syndrome getting eyelid surgey to look "normal" in other children't eyes, which helps with socialization and friendships. Even that is pretty iffy, since parents think that it's easier to change a child's appearance than teach other children to treat all kinds of people without prejustice.
Yes, I've seen that too and in my old neighbourhood a woman did that with her young child. So her ears and eyes looked "normal" and she did something with the mouth (so she wasn't drooling that much) I find that so sick.
@@laramaaike3050I don't see anything wrong with getting your kid a procedure so they don't drool. Folks really need to stop with the disability porn. Anything that can help a kid have a more normal life, I support.
My 5 foot four 115 pound daughter had a breast reduction at 15. Her breasts were misshapen and so massive that we had to buy specialty bras. She wore a 32 double H. I took her into a consultation thinking that we would have to wait until she was 18, but the surgeon suggested that we perform it now. I supported my daughter’s decision, and she went through with the surgery, and she said it was the best decision. She is no longer in pain, physically, and emotionally. Watching this, I feel guilty in some respects, because we could have waited until she was 18. But in this rare occasion, I feel this was the right thing to do. I’m willing to hear any respectful thoughts… yes, she menstruated at 10 and wore a 32DDD in fifth grade~
I think that you were not wrong, this is different than simply cosmetic surgery but quality of life in that she could have had problematic back pains if you had waited. You did it out of care & concern and most of all for her health, this lady did did this to her daughter because she herself has mental health problems and unfortunately she is putting that on her child.
But you could have avoided this by feeding her moderately. In my culture it's not everything a child desires that you give him or her. I pray the surgery doesn't affect her in future.
@@chz76 she is 115 lb, which is 52.3 kg. She is slim! Just breasts were large. You are so out of line considering she was over feeding her daughter and your “culture” is somehow superior. Considering how rude you are, maybe reevaluate your “culture”
The mother seems to have some narcissistic aspects because she is obviously using her kids as extensions of herself and her own deeply held insecurities about not looking somehow European. Very sad.
Reminded me of that famous quote: "Anyone Can Be A Father Or Mother But Not Everyone Can Be A Parent" This mother is clearly not mature enough to have a child and as you're saying she is clearly living out her dream vicariously through her daughter. Shits sad
My parents are Japanese and I grew up in Australia. My mother insisted to use tapes and glues to make me have double eyelids. My Australian side objects to the Japanese culture pursuing beauty but living in Japan at the moment it’s really hard to maintain my objection. So I watch these kind of RUclips videos to keep reminding me a healthier perspective. Even those who object to plastic surgery on minors, many parents agree on giving their daughter laser hair removal, eyelash extensions and eyelash perms. I want to leave my daughters to live naturally but if the “average” standard here is “unnatural” I don’t know how natural I can keep my girls.
It's really pathetic. It's self hate and it's internalized white supremecy. You are perfect the way God designed you. Your eyes are beautiful and unique. This is craaaazy
I have monolids never let anyone convince you to get double lids I feel like I have something different I'm the only one in my moms family with them I love that I have Asian blood from my dad. The obsession with double eyelids is insane
Penso que se você olhar para suas filhas como crianças que precisam ser felizes com brincadeiras, sem se preocupar com a aparência pois se é só por beleza uma cirurgia plástica é algo muito agressivo para qualquer criança e criança não quer desagradar a mãe mas merece respeito e acho que você conseguirá respeitar o direito de suas filhas como crianças sem artifícios de adultos que na verdade refletem muito a própria insegurança quando nada os satusfaz. Elas terão anos pela frente para serem adultas mas um período curto para serem crianças. Podemos ser nós mesmos mesmo frente a uma sociedade doente que não consegue ver sua própria doença. Eu acho que você é uma ótima mãe e saberá tomar a melhor e mais sábia decisão.
I’m half Korean and my eyelids actually did change with age. I have typical hooded Asian eyes but with a small fold so not monolids but as I aged and gained some weight my eyelid crease actually changed position and became bigger and higher up on my eyelid. So honestly if some people saw a before and after they might think I’d had double eyelid surgery. It’s really weird, I’ve never seen or heard of this happening but then again I don’t usually go around scrutinizing peoples’ eyelids. This video is heartbreaking, I truly hope this sweet little girl can eventually heal from this awful indoctrination at the hands of her sick mother.
@@manuelakuchta7093 lol maybe the Caucasian busts out more as we age. My sister started to look more like our white mom as she got older, genetics are wild.
I had a blepharoplasty and ectropion repair surgery done earlier this year under local anaesthetic. I was having both eyes operated on at the same time and they could only finish part of the procedure on my left eye due to me being unable to stop panicking during the surgery. I'm 30 years old and I needed the surgery for medical reasons. I could see, feel and hear everything they were doing and it was awful. I had nightmares about it afterwards! I would NEVER want a child to go through such a thing and put that trauma onto them let alone all of the other emotional trauma that the mother is inflicting onto her daughter. This is highly upsetting to me.
As a Japanese woman myself I have to say Japan changed for the worse after world war 2. We have lost almost all of our values and traditions. We live dissociating ourselves all the time. Fragmentation of the spirit, mind and body. My mom told me at the age of 11 "don't worry you can get a double eyelid surgery when you get older" while my dad told me "your eyes are sparkly and beautiful you can not see yourself when you smile" now I understand what my dad told me that.. I can see it in my daughter's eyes ❤I'm glad I've never followed my mother's "advice". I've healed that within myself and now my daughter doesn't carry any burden. Great video as always ❤ Ps: My daughter is 9 also and it broke my heart into million pieces when I watched the vice video. I just wish peace for that little girl 😢🙏
While I understand what you mean, Imma stop you from saying that Japan changed for the worse after WW2. As a Filipino, we appreciate the Japan of today who is not raping my people. You're not perfect now, but you ain't really any better pre-WW2.
@@wafercrackerjack880 while you are talking about what men did to women I'm talking about the values and traditions in general and how capitalism changed everything to an extreme.
@@wafercrackerjack880 I'm sorry to tell you that as much as we don't like to admit it raping and child abuse is still happening everywhere all the time. It's disgusting but it's another "business" that increased thanks to technology etc. You are talking about nom acceptable behaviour and I agree with you, but that's not the intention of my comment. Thanks for reminded us those behaviours are NEVER acceptable.
You think you would like communism or socialism better? Nobody has invented anything better than capitalism so far. You are free to not having any plastic surgeries or making any other decisions freely while nobody is free in communism. Your comment doesn't make any sense.
The impression that I get is that in Japan plastic surgery goes deeper than just self esteem and has implications for jobs and being marriageable later in life. The society is all about fitting in to very strict exacting beauty standards and there needs to be a cultural shift.
Japanese women may have different reasons than western women,but in the end its mostly women who folow some beauty standards, just look whats on the rise now those high cheeks and no fat on the face looks horrible and why ,because Gigi Hadid has it. We are talking about Japan and yet women in the west folow plastic surgery like its some kind of haircut. Best example the Kardashians they all got butt implants, but big butts are "out of fashion" now they took their butt implants out and even their breast implants.
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly. We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
@@celestialcircledance Thanks for the reply. I'm tired of this kind of videos. Let's have mutual respect for each other nations and live in peace and harmony😇 No one is better than the other; we're all flawed in God's eyes. God bless.
For the Rie girl, her mom didn’t regret having her for her looks, what her mom said was along the lines that she felt guilty she could not birth her child the way she (Rie) wanted to be, like appearance wise, and the mom pointed the knife at herself, making Rie feel guilty to make her mom feel like that.
I had plastic surgery on my ears when I was 11 and back then I didn't realize that I was way too young to make that decision. They even do this surgery on 6 years olds and here in Germany the health insurance often pays for it because "the child might get bullied". Personally, I never got any bad comments about my ears from other children - only from adults. And when my mom said "You can't wear a ponytail with those ears" I took it as a fact and thought that getting the surgery was just a cool thing to make me "more beautiful". A few years later protruding ears became a trendy thing in high fashion and nowadays I see a couple of Kpop stars having protruding ears and looking super cute with them. Meanwhile, I got chronically depressed after this surgery and the unpleasant, lonely week I spent in the hospital (bad sleep, allergic reaction, being surrounded by grown up strangers). I know I got really unlucky and others have less problematic experiences with this surgery. But I generally hate this whole societal mindset that leads to these plastic surgeries on children. What if your child gets bullied "because" of their height, skin color, hair texture or voice? Do you wish you could change those features with surgery as well? The good thing is that I am now very aware of the health risks of plastic surgery. So whenever I'm unsatisfied with a visual feature of mine I remind myself that it's not worth the risk to get plastic surgery on it and that the feature makes me look more unique 😊
I had this surgery as well, and was also never bullied about my ears, just a couple comments from family. I had relatives who'd had surgery, unfortunately it was only covered by insurance when I was underage which is why my parents pushed for me to get it in my teens. The pain I had during healing was horrible, and it made me scared of having surgery in the future. I absolutely prefer my ears now, but if I'd had the choice to get it done as an adult on my own decision I would never have done it. I get why some surgeries are seen as acceptable (and my parents are very anti-plastic surgery, I think to them they almost saw it like a deformity more than cosmetic), but then I wonder how is that different than how people view monolids in another country? The whole thing makes me sad. It sounds like you had a pretty bad experience with all the complications, I'm sorry :(
@@bleepbloop101010101 Thank you for your sympathy :) Being afraid of future surgeries must suck - luckily I don't have this problem. The most annoying thing for me is that they put 6 silicone strings in my ears to stabilize the form. It looks very natural from the front but one of the strings moved to the surface and had to be surgically removed 3 years later. And now I'm kinda stuck with the other 5 ones and I hope I can get them removed some day without starting to cry at the doctor's office while explaining why I want them gone, LOL (I think they make my ears more sensitive, they burn like hell after 1 hour of wearing heavy sunglasses & it just can't be not unhealthy to have them in my body). And yeah, my mother is also very pro "natural beauty" (more than me) but for some reason this plastic surgery is an exception - probably because the result looks natural.
I was actually just talking to someone about something similar a couple days ago- when I was around 10 or 11, I hated my ears so much! I never wore my hair up, I felt so self conscious about them. My parents obviously wouldn't allow me to get the surgery, and honestly a few years later I "grew into my ears." I'm glad I didn't get the procedure, it sounds awful for something I ultimately didn't even need!
I’m half White and half Asian… I happened to get the double eyelid as a biracial person… and ironically I would often look at my Asian family members and wish I had the monolid, I always thought it was beautiful. So I can’t believe parents are pressuring their kids to change their eyes as such a young age (as a mom this makes my heart hurt)
I’m a white girl who finds Asian features incredibly beautiful and I fully agree! My partner is half Japanese and does not have monolids but I love his Asian features and would be thrilled if our future kids look like him.
As a Japanese woman, I grew up with my family telling me to get surgery and lasers all the time. They don’t suggest it because YOU are self conscious about it, they suggest it because Japanese people care A LOT about what others think of them, and they often like to show off their kids and grandkids to other people. If you have tan skin, freckles, monolids, baby fat…etc they will tell you how ugly it is and how it will affect your possibilities of finding a job. All to pressure you to fix it. I thankfully never fell for their tricks but my dad said the same thing as the little girls mum “i felt so bad that you were born with freckles”. Also having handicap kids is viewd as a failure and shameful in Japan, so I think that mother os trying to compensate in a fucked up way with her daughters. It’s a really horrible part of Japanese society and culture. That mother will ruin her kids, and should not be a mother.
Keep fighting never lose hope it's your life There's no one who have right against your life if you will lose hope I am sure our next generation sure they are goona lose their hope. 🙁🥺
@@EtreTocsin i mean, it's different for each country. i'm from an asian country, and straight teeth is slowly becoming the standard for the young here (not for the old tho, because there wasn't much dental care in their era). so our standard of teeth is based on the western standard - white, straight teeth - now that our dental services are much more developed. what i'm trying to say is that beauty standards are dependent on trends, and trends can change. conforming to beauty standards with permanent methods like surgery is completely stupid to me because as trends fade out, your beauty fades out too. in the end, we just have to learn to love every part of our body
This video also made me realize how lucky I am to have a mom that always told us kids how much she loved us, physical or mental flaws and all. It shouldn't be underestimated how much parent's opinions affect the children. My mom always tried to lose weight and loved corsets because she's a bit chubby, and now that I'm the same way, I find myself always wanting to lose weight and wear corsets. My mom NEVER told me that I needed to lose weight or wear corsets, but since I saw the person I adored the most in the world do that, I've found myself wanting to do that to myself as well. I don't blame my mom for it at all though, her mom (my grandma) and especially her mom (my great grandmother) were REALLY into looks, and pushed that onto their children.
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly. We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
She called her own daughter ugly right in front of her face!! If she wasn't feeling bad about herself before, she sure does now! This mother is horrible! This whole "trend" is horrific!!!
My mom was abused emotionally and physically by her mom and stepdad. The emotional part was that they constantly told her how ugly she was and how no one would ever love her. Her stepdad was an alcoholic and spent most of their money on gambling and alcohol so my mom remembers going to school in messy rundown clothes and feeling so down on herself from the abuse. As a mom she was very loving in so many ways and didn’t want to continue the cycle of abuse so she really focused a lot on my looks as I grew up. She would tell me how beautiful I was, but she also would focus very closely on my looks (she started taking me for facials when I was 7, because she spotted one small pimple on my face), and really made sure I dressed very well and focused on making sure my weight was just right, etc. I know she genuinely felt that she was helping me be the best physical version of myself (she wanted me to have what she didn’t), but putting a focus on looks at such a young age really messes with you mentally. I have no resentment towards her at all because I know she was very messed up by her childhood and was doing her best. I have learned from the experience how important it is to focus on a child’s heart, their mind, etc, and don’t worry so much about the looks part. Let them be innocent of that as long as possible. The world will already put so much pressure on them to look a certain way, they don’t need their own parents adding on to that. I feel terrible for these poor children getting these cosmetic surgeries at such a young age and having so much focus put on the way they look. The mental damage that this will ultimately do to them will be really rough 😔
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly. We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
@@WikiiMomo You are very uninformed. It is legal in the US too. It’s called Pediatric plastic surgery and they even recommend otoplasty for 4 years old. Rhinoplasty in children is not forbidden, but just advised to wait until the facial features reach a stable point.
@@WikiiMomo Tattoos are totally unnecessary, and painful as well as piercing ears. In Brazil, they pierce the baby girl’s ears when they are newly born🤷♂️ Do you think that should be illegal? Well, the Brazilians don’t.
I barely able to watch this, seeing her crying as the surgeon cut her eyelid broke my heart. It's true that every kid deserves to have parents, but not every parents deserve to have kids. I am barren so I could never have children, but if that girl were mine, I will tell her that she's beautiful just the way she is everyday, because SHE IS! 😢💔 I tell my niece and nephews the same thing everyday, that I love them all just the way they uniquely are and that they're all equally beautiful. It's also a blessing that their mother (my closest cousin, I'm an only child) shares my point of views about raising children. I am so glad and proud that my beloved niece (6) and nephews (4 and 9) are all growing up to be kindhearted, empathic kids. They are cute, smart, healthy, and confident children, and I will do anything to keep them in the right, balanced path and education. ❤ They are our future generation
I'm a Japanese girl, I also had a cosmetic surgery to get eyelids at 18. I was raised in Tokyo, Japan, so I'm also one of the people who struggle with Japanese beauty standards. When I was in a middle school, I started to concern about the fact that I didn't have eyelids. I know that there're many people who doesn't have eyelids but looks great. Yet, many girls who don't have eyelids including me, were always trying to make it with cosmetic glue every single day. I was always feeling sad when I see my face in the mirror or photos. It became my inferiority complex. That's why I had the plastic surgery, even though my mom tried to stop me many times. I don't regret about I had a plastic surgery cuz it's MY decision., and I'm satisfied. However, I believe that this Japanese beauty standard is kinda stereotype and it's maybe not good. Age to have the plastic surgery is getting younger, and population is increasing. Having plastic surgery is getting to be considered more casual thing. One of the reasons that Japanese beauty standards has been shaped like this, is less diversified value in Japan. Unlike America, we don't really have different types of race, so our beauty standards tends to be standardized, and it's promoted by those companies. Social medias have played a role to spread this value in this capitalist society. I guess Korea has been well known as more famous for these plastic surgery and lookism society among Japanese people, but we might be getting closer. I hope it can be better.
Thank you for the insight. 🙏 There are beauty standards everywhere in the world. Everyone wanted cat eyes where I live. At the end of the day, we have to do what we believe is best for us.
Why do Japanese people think monolids are ugly when they are how you are naturally made? It’s a special feature others don’t have not a defect! Monolids are pretty.
@@TheVickikelly some say it makes them look like they're glaring at others. they like it because it make their eyes looks bigger, kind of similar to how white people look. and they like cute things so it makes them look doll-like. tho non-cosmetics reasons include irritation from downward-growing lashes.
Hi Dr. Gary! First of all, thank you so much for your informative videos, I'm a huge fan! I'm a European woman living in South Korea, and while Korea and Japan are obviously different countries with their respective cultures, there seem to be many similarities in terms of beauty standards, so I wanted to give some insight into why so many people here abuse plastic surgery and injectibles. 1. Plastic surgery/cosmetic procedures are very accessible to the average person: in Korea, it costs about $20 to get botox injected in your glabella. Here, only doctors are allowed to administer injectibles, so you don't have to worry about unqualified staff injecting your face, and this is all done at reputable big clinics. It is as easy as going to get a drink after work - I could literally make a reservation for 5 PM today and go get a bundle of 3 or 4 procedures done (botox + filler + skin laser) for under $200, leaving the clinic after less than an hour. Double eyelid surgeries are minimally invasive and can cost as little as $500-$700. 2. Plastic surgery is openly advertised: when you arrive at Gangnam station in Seoul (where most reputable plastic surgery hospitals are), you are greeted by numerous colorful posters with very provocative slogans plastered all over them: "Everything is easy when you are pretty", "Being pretty is everything", "Time for you to be beautiful too". The posters usually feature beautiful celebrities and influencers who embody the Korean beauty standard. There are no regulations limiting how plastic surgery is advertised and there are a couple of very popular plastic surgery apps similar to Yelp - users writing reviews for clinics and doctors, and clinics advertising bundle packages and "events" (meaning limited-time discounts on specific procedures). GangnamUnni is the representative one. 3. Lastly, the beauty standard - in Korea, there is no such thing as "diverse beauty". The beauty standard is very narrowly defined and it's drilled into everybody's head from a very young age - big eyes (with double eyelids), pale skin, a small head and face with a defined V-line jawline, and slender body with long legs. The only variation over the past few years has been the lip shape - while small, "cherry-like" lips were traditionally popular, with the vast popularity of fillers somewhat of a fuller lip has been becoming more popular. What I listed above is the only beauty standard and if you possess all of the mentioned features, you are beautiful. If you don't and you have small eyes or a darker complexion, you are not pretty (you can still be referred to as "charming" or "charismatic" but not "beautiful" because "beautiful" is very narrowly defined). Hence, why the woman in the video is talking about being bullied as a kid and people not referring to her as beautiful.
Incredibly sad. To me, this is denying your heritage. Additionally, I had a blepharoplasty to correct vision problems. I had a complication, right eyelid really bled. It hurt! I am no wimp either! I had two babies without any meds and this eyelid surgery hurts! I would not want my children to hurt.
A child having any cosmetic procedures is disgusting, but I just want to step in here and say that double eyelid surgery isn't denying your heritage. I think a lot of westerners believe this surgery is meant to make them look less Asian, but that's not the case. In Korea, 40% of people are born with double eyelids and those with monolids who are getting this procedure simply want to look more like them.
@@Orlanzepol123 uhh. Well culture is global now so yes all cultures are influenced by each other to a degree, but Japanese beauty standards are still very much based on their own cultural ideals. If they were as affected by European beauty ideals as you think they would also idealize blonde hair and tanned skin which are actually considered to be ugly in Japan. Also most Japanese people naturally have double eyelids. It's not a white or European trait. Plus, someone could easily claim many white people these days are getting surgery to look more Asian. They are getting their nose bridges reduced, getting higher cheekbones, and getting their eyelids changed to look more angular / "cat eye"
As someone who was an extension of my mother's insecurities I wish parents understand how much damage it actually gives their kids. My mom also felt like the ugly sibling and she projected it to me hard. I bleached my skin at 11, couldn't go out without looking "presentable" and picked every little thing in my face and body. I ended up picking apart my looks ever since I could remember. Funny because I was considered a pretty kid but I had to always be the prettiest because my mom wasn't and my face was her pride. I never felt pretty, I ended up with a very bad case of facial dysphoria. I would cry looking at the mirror and pick the little things about myself. My mom now regrets how much damage she's done with my self esteem she tries to compliment my face as much as she can unlike before where she would only see flaws but the damage is already done. I hope parents are aware with how much damage they cause if they act like this because you're actually giving your kids a exponential worse self esteem than you already have because of how much you projected yours to them and it will forever scar them for the rest of their lives.
Your comment is very sad to read. However it sounds like you have good self insight which will assist healing. Perhaps see a psychologist for some cognitive behaviour therapy where they teach you coping strategies and positive self thought. Despite the negative experiences you have endured your writing indicates that you are a gentle and kind person. Good luck.
That's so true. I was an ugly teen growing up. I had what most people say a glow up. After my 20s. But i did struggle with body weight. Always ended up depressed and crying for not being able to wear certain dresses and clothes. Now that I am 32 and look back i had a healthy weight. Infact what most people would call ideal. But i was always insecure because of how my parents always thought I should be a little more skinny, a little more tall, a little more fair, and more beautiful. I should be using products etc etc. When I got into college people would compliment me, guys would line up but in my head they were mocking me. Like it was some kind of a joke that I am not getting and they will go back to their friends and laugh behind my back. I barely made friends. Finally the people I ended up with were great. The guy I started dating pulled me out of my insecurities and helped me with my confidence. I was an excellent student but always so underconfident that I would never set my expectations high because of how my parents would act if I fail. I thank my friends for being there and helping me out and making me the kind of person I am today. But then I got married to a man who would just point out at your appearances. Ridicule people with dark skin. And is too over in his head for being fair and handsome (his heart is so ugly, the face is unable to makeup for it). Thankfully I am over that shit. And don't let it get to my head anymore. Thankfully I have good friends
I don't know whether its the artist or human in me, but I think people with monolids are beautiful. It adds a beautiful depth to someone's eyes and face. Gorgeous. This is so incredibly sad to see.
This is one of the most important videos you’ve ever done. It was infuriating and heartbreaking to watch , and is a subject that hits close to home because I had a mother who was similar to the one featured.
It’s obvious these adults have deep childhood trauma from the rejection they received or felt as children. They really want to “spare” their children of any pain they had to endure. It makes me so sad for both the parents and their children because they obviously carry some deep emotional scars. 😢 Listening to the stories of what they experienced as kids made me empathize with why they feel so strongly about plastic surgery.
Mm, Japan should really work on their sexism and lookism issues, hearing what the mom said about girls, that all that matters is their looks and looks only. Many other countries should work on this too.
I cry because this are so pretty people with beautiful and cute eyes and they say there are ugly wtf. How can it be normal that everyone should look the same
You can really tell from the first one that her mother has been influencing her daughter so much. The way she answered the questions so maturely really shows how children will believe anything. It’s so heartbreaking how these beauty standards are driving ridiculously young kids to such extreme plastic surgeries. The thing with these beauty trends is that they keep changing, and bodies are not a trend.
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly. We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
The beauty standards in many Asian countries are really intense. I'm a Western woman and have lived in Japan and Thailand and the pressure to look a certain way is completely overwhelming even if you know you're logically never going to be able to fit in. Every part of society reinforces these standards- kids bully others for not fitting them, adults make targeted comments- both strangers and close friends or family, colleagues and bosses, adverts, TV, magazines, fashion brands, clothing stores, makeup companies, plastic surgery clinics, billboards, online forums and comments, news, movies, music videos.... it's an intense and inescapable pressure pushing you to change in whatever way you can in order to look 'better'. In Japan I'd frequently see diets, pills, low or zero calories snacks, exercise regimes and supplements targeted at women who were already at a low weight or underweight to make them even thinner. Stories like "I was 50kg and now I'm 43kg". Walk into any beauty or drug store and find the majority of beauty products marketed as 'whitening'. Female facial features considered attractive are extremely specific- double eyelids, big round eyes, high nose bridge, thin but somewhat protruding chin, 'doll like' full bow shaped lips, pale even skin tone, straight full eyebrows, V-shaped jaw.. the list goes on. It is essentially impossible for most of the population to tick every box. As if it's not doing enough damage to target this rhetoric at adult women who end up feeling undesirable and get discriminated against and bullied due their natural features, now apparently this extends to little girls too. Absolutely heartbreaking. I can see how this mother probably grew up with chronic low self confidence due to not fitting every one of these standards and now believes her daughter's only way to be successful and feel happy is to fit the mould, attainable only through plastic surgery, beauty treatments and makeup.
Having a perfect face and body is not a guarantee that you will have a happy life. Look no further than the entertainment industry. Look no further than Hollywood. Even going back to the days of silent movies. Read the biographies of the top entertainers in Hollywood. I guarantee you that 90% of the biographies will deal with the sad and difficult lives that they have had. If they are telling the truth that is.
I appreciate how much anger and distaste was oozing from Gary; someone who is always so zen. This is such an outrageous topic! You kept your cool more than I did.
Thank you Dr. Gary for sharing and bringing more attention to this topic. This is messed up and should be banned. I feel deeply sorry for the children and I hope no child has to suffer this.
My mom was trying to push me into doing eyelid surgery at 17… honestly I’m glad I knew she was projecting her own insecurities and philosophy of how women’s values were based on our looks. I knew I was smart, so I told myself I wouldn’t do it as a child unless I wanted to as an adult later in life. I ended up spending a lot of my life just changing trends / looks with makeup (because it was fun and impermanent), and eventually when I began living on my own, I felt that I liked my eyes, that they were rare these days, and they can actually be kind of pretty too. I ended up getting the eyelid surgery as a grown woman after a decade of embracing it. Although my mom asked why I didn’t just get it when she told me to when I was 17, I’m glad I experiences a time when I learned to appreciate my own natural eyes, and saw that people found me attractive too. It was only as I started aging after some prolonged stress that it started drooping and making me look tired and mad. While I love how my procedure turned out, I’m happy I saved it for much much later when I had my own financial means to do so, and was old enough to make this decision for myself.
Japan has major issues when it comes to beauty standards and sexism. How a woman/man should be, how they treat little girls and boys etc. It's one of the major reasons I don't live there and would never have kids there. I was as surprised when I found this Vice video as well. I was in shock for a few weeks. I'm glad to find your reaction on this video, I hope it gets all the attention it needs and more similar content to appear online so people can start having a conversation about it back home. Thank you.
Super crazy and disturbing. I knew this was common in Korea but didn't know it occurred in Japan too, but I guess Koreans and Japanese have similar features. I have a Vietnamese/Chinese friend who married a Korean and had one daughter, and I remember when she was about 7yrs old my friend telling me that her mother-in-law told her daughter something like "You'd look prettier with a double eyelid". So sad. Obviously these women need therapy so it stops being passed on from generation to generation. Sad that their thinking is not to stop this by doing the opposite to their children what their parents did to them but just continue the same treatment onto their own child. "sigh". Btw, good to see your eyebrows are growing back Dr Linkov! :)
It's illegal in Korea plus, they don't do that much that procedure now...there's a lot of people that are against that beauty standard, and that's what other countries wanna us to believe that korean people are crazy about surgery but look at them seriously and look at the Americans or Europeans with those with lips big bbl looking like aliens.
This is not common in South Korea. It's a misconception that South Korea is plastic surgery-obsessed. South Korea has incredibly high plastic surgery tourism, so the inflated numbers are coming from foreigners (other Asians and non-Asians) who get plastic surgery there. The average Korean doesn't look like a K-pop star. lol. But it is true that Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans do prefer having double eyelids over monolids, because those who have double eyelids naturally have always been seen as more beautiful since they have bigger, rounder eyes.
This girl is so pretty.. her mother is insane.. mothers can traumatise children in many sadly ways.. my mother told me that my breast was too big and even if I’m 42 years old I look at it in a negative way.. I’m conscious that it’s totally stupid but this trauma is still there, in the irrational part of my mind
This history of foot binding is actually far more akin to going en points for ballet , yet society finds this normal or even beautiful . It’s interesting how things change and some things don’t
Looking back now I think that all teenagers are extremely Faultfinding with their looks. I don’t know what they see in the mirror when they look at themselves but they are not seeing a clear picture. I had platinum blonde hair and big blue eyes as a teenager. But when I looked in the mirror God only knows what I saw but I didn’t like it. That’s all I remember.
I think the kitchen knife thing was the mom reaction to how the daughter was calling herself ugly. Like, 'if you think you're so ugly I'm sorry I gave birth to you,' and the mother pointed the knife at herself, like she would end herself for putting the daughter through the pain of existence. That's why the daughter says she didn't realize until then how much her self hate was hurting her mother.
My facial structure and eyes actually changed significantly overtime and naturally. I used to have puffier eyes without a noticeable double eyelid, and my eyes miraculously lost fat around the crease and my double eyelids became much more visible at the age of 20. TWENTY! My face also leaned down significantly around age 22, to the point of it even looking like I went through buccal fat removal. But sometimes people’s faces just change for no reason. I hope everyone who sees this message gives their face a chance to fully mature before diving into any surgery. 🙏
As the mother of a mixed race daughter (im white, my husband filipino) it's sad to see that this mother is so focused on her daughters looks. I feel it is my duty as a parent to help my kids not only be confident in their looks but also teach them that they have more to offer than looks.
I'm only 5 minutes in and this is uncomfortable... how could a mother do that to their 9 year old child? Also, loving how disapproving Gary is!! That head shake at @5:19 is all of us
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly. We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
Isn't Being of different seed beautiful . The starting of plastic surgery is corrupt . But to help accident victims and strange maladies heck yeah . But the darkness reigns in many areas to attack our little ones. Keep spiritual strength is a learning lesson . I can now imagine 50-80 years back what was done to put down the woman and children then.
Kids are so impressionable, especially when the opinion is coming from a parent. When I was 12 my parent suggested I get liposuction to enhance my chin-throat angle. My neck naturally slopes down from my chin, but I never considered it a defect until it was suggested as one, and now decades later I still dislike it the most out of my physical attributes. My brother had ear-tuck surgery when he was around 12. He was a natural physical comedian and always scored top roles in school plays, but kids ridiculed him endlessly for his ears that stood out from his head. My parents were worried that he would be harassed his whole life, but after the surgery he became really reserved. He's now 40 and wishes they would have waited until he was old enough to give him a chance to love his ears the way they were. He's left wondering what his life would have been like if he had kept them. Whether a child undergoes cosmetic surgery or is suggested surgery, it effects them emotionally their whole lives. That's what we saw with the women in the video, childhood trauma of being held to an unattainable beauty standard when they were still children, and then they begin the cycle again with their own daughters. Surgery is physically and emotionally traumatic, for anyone, and children don't need to be subject to it for cosmetic purposes.
My mom used to critique and criticize other women . We would watch the miss American pageant and she would point out the ones with side saddles that she referred to as pones. Even at 92 she and my sister discuss celebrities that have nice skin , are aging well etc. I just sit there sickened by it.
What's even more concerning is how we are training children at such a young age that the features they are born with are undesirable and should be changed to look like someone else. It's a toxic trait that will live and haunt these children well into their adult years. This time it's eyelid, next is lips, next is ears - It never stops. We should help children (and everyone, really) grasp that the features they are born with are enough and are beautifully crafted just for them.
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly. We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
To clarify, the hostess's mother didn't regret having had her b/c of her look. The hostess wanted plastic surgery and ask for it and mom said no. But I think the hostess was insistant and explain how bad her face made her feel. Mom didn't want her daughter to get surgery and probably felt guilty since it was her genetic. It eventually escalated to mom saying, "I'm sorry for giving you a face you don't like and make you feel like you like you have to have plastic surgery to feel beautiful," out of guilt and the desire to stop her daughter from undergoing the knife.
I don't reject plastic surgery 100%, but I am against plastic surgery for young children who are not fully grown yet. Everyone has their own form of beauty, and I think it's strange that society itself doesn't respect each person's individuality in the first place. The sound of a young child crying, which I heard rather quickly after opening the video, pierced my heart deeply💔 As a fellow Japanese, I want this kind of sadness to end.
I was very surprised when I found out that overseas people don't care about single or double eyelids.Recently, some mothers give their babies a massage to be a double eyelid. Being told about your appearance by your closest person greatly influences your self affirmation afterwards
This is horrifying. She's basically calling her child "ugly" right in front of her. Does she really think her daughter will forget all that when she gets older? Memories of childhood trauma are twice as likely to be remembered. She will grow up with painful memories of people including her own mother calling her "ugly" and the pain and fear she endured during her operation.
Wow! I am so shocked and appalled at the attitude of these parents, and Japanese society that they think this way about girls and women. I can't believe cosmetic surgery on children is allowed in Japan and frankly it is truly shameful. I think natural Japanese features are really beautiful and it's sad they don't appreciate their lovely features.
This is skewed beauty standard is shared amongst all corners of the world, but mostly the developing world. Im africans and there it is very common that people bleach their skin to get a lighter skin tone, or str8 their curly hair. Damn shame that we yearn for standards and forget was make us all unique in our own way.
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly. We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
@@_akiangelKylie Jenner had her first plastic surgery in 2012, when she was 15. Call the authorities 🤷♂😅 She encourages teens directly or indirectly to follow her steps, by showing off the amount of money, and fame and success that she earned. And she also encourages teens to use heavy make up. Of course she does. She sells them. In Japan, girls in middle school or high school are forbidden to wear make up, ear piercing, even hair dying. During those years, they are very busy with extracurricular activities called BUKATSU, like physical activities, or cultural activities and of course they have to study hard for the school's exams as well as for the university entrance exams. They clean up their classrooms and have a modest and simple and very appropriate school life. The majority don't even have romantic partners, and those who do, are called RIAJUU meaning "fulfilled in real life". Normal average Japanese girls start wearing make up when they start college. We have a healthy and simple lifestyle and values, based in respect and modesty. At least as a whole. Of course no society is homogeneous, the same way not every teen in the US is like Kylie. Makes sense?
@@_akiangel If you're seeing 13 years old having plastic surgery, ask them if they were forced to do it by their mother. Because I don't see them and if there is one, I guess they chose to do that themselves and they had a very hard time trying to convince their parents. But people are not scandalized by teens having light plastic surgeries by their own choice. They are scandalized that a 9 year old did that. And you yourself wrote that the youngest example you are "seeing" is 13 yo.
@@_akiangel Then you should know that 大久保is a KOREAN TOWN within Tokyo. I didn’t know about トー横界隈 and of course it’s very problematic. It’s still not normal here nor the average teen Japanese life style. Far from it. That is just another example of propaganda to demoralize Japan. You pick the worst in other nations and bring it to the spot light. Personally, when I go to another country and I see wrong behavior, I think it’s not for me to criticize or try to correct it. I keep thoughts to myself, be discreet and talk moderately out of respect of the nation that showed grace enough to accept me to roam freely in their country. Specially when my own country has those unsolved problems too.
You have the best attitude about these things. I’m with you about turning kids into models or acting. So many that were young actors grow to have miserable lives. Filled with drugs, in and out of rehab, and eventually suicide. It’s not good for them. And cosmetic surgery, ridiculous!
She’s passing her childhood trauma onto her daughter. It’s horrible, the little girl knows nothing more than what she tells her
And then the kid will go and repeat that to other kids...
@@bellarinaand the cycle continues 💔
@@katcrooks7308 And the entire industry has new generation to keep on making serious bank with.
sorry not being pretty is not "trauma". I think shes just very stupid and no one is stopping her (its not illegal so it must be ok).
It is trauma of all Asian people. Genetic disorder which makes eyes closed.
“I’ve never seen anyone with a monolid who I thought was pretty.” Said in front of her daughter who has a monolid. I can’t even with this…
Right? Terrifying mother
Shes the worst, i feel so bad for the daughter, shes a total monster wtf
My mum said the same thing to me when i was young as well.
This is what happens when a whole nation or even race can’t accept who they are. As long as they will not spread love towards each other and accepting how they look, nothing will help them..even a plastic surgery or photoshop. It will only cause more damage to already sick and tired society. They never stop at 1 surgery, it’s just becoming an addiction.
Rubbish. Park Jimin has monolids & he is THE most beautiful man on the Planet. Monolids are very attractive to many ppl regardless of boy or girl. I think ppl convincing under eighteens to hv surgery is appalling. Let them hv surgery later, not as actual children! Her mother is just disgraceful with this - nothing ruins a daughter's confidence than a mother telling her she doesn't "look nice" am appalled.🙏💜
“Thank you mommy. You spent all this money to make me cuter. That makes me happy.”
Those 3 sentences should never come out of a 9 year olds mouth when it’s a SURGERY shes referring to.
😢
it’s a privilege to have parents pay for your plastic surgery
Honestly I was EXTREMELY disturbed and disgusted by how well and deep the manipulation went, that little girl mostly had a sad look on her face that basically said “get me out of here” or “I don’t want to be here talking about this, let alone be doing them, but I’m afraid of making mom angry” and just the answer she gave for the question about what the little girl’s ideas about what beauty is was EXTREMELY disturbing, like GEEZ! GET THAT POOR KID OUT OF THAT HOUSE PLEASE! 😰😫 THE WAY THE MOM JUST LOOKED AT HER DAUGHTER AS SHE SAID THOSE WORDS AND SMILED WHILE NODDING IN APPROVAL, WTH EVEN IS THIS DISTURBING DISTOPIA-LIKE WORLD WE LIVE IN?! THE GOVERNMENT WOULD RATHER ALLOW LITERAL CHILDREN WHO HAVN’T EVEN REACHED A DOUBLE DIGIT AGE, AND ARE NOT EVEN DONE GROWING, BOTH MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY, BE PUSHED AND PRESSURED INTO GETTING SURGERIES THAT THEY CANNOT EVEN PRONOUNCE, LET ALONE EVEN BEGIN TO TRY AND START TO COMPREHEND ANY OF THIS CRAP!!!! 😫😫😫
YESSS - you Said it! This Words making my Heart-Pain!
She was conditioned to thank her abuser
I just paused this & told both my children (9 year old fraternal twins) how beautiful they are. Thank you for bringing light to this. This was truly heart breaking.
😢 I had to text my neice and tell her she is smart and beautiful and I love her
It works both ways though. If their really ugly but believe they are beautiful they won't settle with an average guy and end up a bitter unfulfilled cat lady. Best to just tell them they are plain and average
Excatly !!
@@kenfryer2090😂😂😂😂😂
@@kenfryer2090 bro ur messed up bringing couple relationships at this age like 9?
Most woman don't enter relationship with men ( average ) because they think there not good enough
The saddest part of this video was the little girl looking at herself with the markings on her eyes. The thought of her being taught that she needs surgery to be beautiful is so heartbreaking, especially considering her mother, the person that's supposed to affirm and encourage her the most, is the one perpetuating this self-hate. This is so sad.
It's very sick. 😔
@@edelweissdebergbaldrian7696 yes, it is.
I don't think a desire for surgery necessarily constitutes self hate. I have gender dysphoria and intense body incongruity. I don't necessarily hate my body as much as I hate any part of my body that is male and most trans people get surgeries for gender affirmation rather than beautification. Though the ladder does accompany some surgeries like BA/BBL
@@gokibros4451 I understand your point, although I have wondered how it's possible to have gender dysphoria and not self-hate. From the outside, it does seem like a rejection of oneself at a base level. But, I realize that's also a privileged perspective for me to have since I've never felt a conflict between my body and my gender. And gender is only one facet of who we are.
In relation to my comment, the mother stated that she never saw someone with a monolid that was beautiful, which would include her own children. My concern is she's imprinting that ideology unto her daughter. Our parents are our first teachers and, until we mature, our perspectives about ourselves and the world are largely informed by them. I imagine it'll be difficult for her to grow up with strong self-esteem... Similar to the woman who had over 100 surgeries. Finding your footing in this world is challenging enough without parents kicking their own kids in the shins.
@@gokibros4451 Have you considered any therapy?
This is just appalling. Hearing her sobbing during the procedure made my stomach hurt. The saddest part to me is that it probably wasn’t just the pain that was scaring her, but the fact that her eyes were being cut into and she would never be able to look the same again. Very traumatizing. She’s only 9, her mother sucks. I hope this stops.
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly.
We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
I had to skip that scene. I couldn't watch that girl crying in pain.
Yes😢😢
Well said.
I had lower blepharoplasty 2 years ago. The injection of anesthetic was painful and the entire procedure was uncomfortable and difficult. This mother should be in prison.
When I was little , my mom would take me to the Asian markets with her and strangers would say to my mom , “what a pretty girl “ . Her reply was, “she’s not pretty “.
This reminds me of how parents can messed up their little children.
You are really pretty!! ❤️💕❤️💕
Yeah, my mom and acne f-ed up my self-esteem. I was called ugly by her and my relatives at a very young age for having tanned skin. Funny thing is: it was strangers and my mother’s friends who kept telling me how pretty I was.
Can identify! That's a very Asian parent thing.
My father used to tell us how brown we were (in summer, out in the sun all day in the days before sunscreen awareness), like it was our fault and a bad thing (which it is to Asians, as historically, being tanned and brown meant you were a field worker, a poor peasant etc.).
He'd also point out to us our flaws, told me my eyes were crooked, made fun of my freckles, and we had to have weekly or monthly weigh-ins and height measurements where we'd be berated for not growing taller or for putting on weight.
@@SY-ok2dq i don’t mean to be disrespectful but why are a lot of Asian parents so harsh and mean? I don’t understand it.
@@hannahdurga3277 I heard somewhere that some Asian cultures do this as a way to stay "humble" or show humbleness in a way because you can't really be "greater" than anyone, similar to how in Japan when you get complimented by your work you MUST say things like "Oh no it's nothing at all, really, I don't deserve the praise" even if you might actually deserve it and might have worked your ass off
At least that what I have heard from foreigner RUclipsrs who have lived in Japan for some years now and have needed to get adjusted to the culture and social Interactions, don't know about other Asian countries tho
My mom hated me and told me repeatedly I was ugly. I won a beauty contest and got modeling assignments with top companies but I couldn't shake off that feeling of being ugly. Now I'm fifty and I realize what happened, but I also feel that now aging has caught up with me...
Growing up in India as a woman, you are judged by everybody, harsh comments and low self worth haunt all women.
Why is your mom so mean??? Sheesh!!!
Am Indian too and none in my whole family… not a single woman had such issues. So please do not make your situation as a general statement for all Indians. My sister was very dark skinned and I was very fair .. but she was the one who won the beauty competition in Delhi. We never ever discussed “looks” at home. All that my adorable mother adviced us was to study hard, and get into a successful high placed job, not depending ever on men. Also we married as per our own choice and never did we ever feel “looks” were important.
Feel terrible and sad that you had a mother who called you “ugly”. That’s simply wicked and also primitive. Sorry to be so blunt.
as a indian i could say that even in our school or class the most famous people are the toppers or the backbenchers not the most beautiful person and no one in our family says someone ugly.....
yeah we are more judged on the basis of education, job and income lol@@sangycappu
@@sangycappuyour mama was a good person. ❤
I’ve never seen you so upset, Dr Gary, I think it says a lot! You are usually so unshakeable but we can see it in your face how disturbing the video is. It is disturbing to us too, but surely more troubling for you since this is your field of expertise. Very interesting
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Pretty mad! He's so mad he's almost shutting down. It's pretty wild that these parents get in their own head so much they project that insecurity onto their kids. **back in my day** 😝 When I was 9 the only thing on my mind was bicycles and kickball; poor kids man.
YES.
This is child abuse 😡🤬
Yet forced circumcision of babies for religious reasons is going on in America right now and he says nothing...
I live in Japan, and the society here cares so much about beauty standards that I feel bad for everyone really, but especially for young girls. I'm 30 and I've never had any plastic surgeries, and I feel like I'm constantly reminded about how old and ugly I look. The ads for beauty procedures are very aggressive here. The other day I saw a double eye lid surgery ad on the train, it featured three high school girls and said: "The high school life only lasts 3 years. I want to spend every second as cute as I can be". And it made me angry, because it brainwashes girls into thinking that they are not cute without double eye lids. I had serious issues with my self-esteem after I just moved here, had even to get a professional help, and I moved here in my late 20ies. I can only imagine how hard it is for impressive and vulnerable teen girls.
i was thinking of moving to japan but i’ve struggled w self esteem like all my life up until like a year ago (i am 22 now) but honestly i’ve heard abt the standards in japan and that’s one of the reasons why i decided not to move there yet bc for women everything is so centered on how you look like being “cute” is not going to solve all of my real life problems lol it’s v dentrimental
@まりちゃん, I am so sorry that you are surrounded by this. Please know that this not normal. Society as a whole is morally bankrupt. They value superficial "beauty " instead of what is not seen, one's heart. I would encourage you to try as much as possible to disassociate yourself from this destructive indoctrination. People who do this to their children are pitiful souls.
Wow you've been through a lot
keep being you sweetheart
It's not like that in my country Ghana 🇬🇭
@@rhodaosei2972 thank you so much for your kind words! It's people like you who remind me that I am worthy even without conforming to today's beauty standards
Unbelievable. How a young girl looks is already constantly under attack just by seeing models and celebrities. To push surgery with its associated risks on a completely healthy population, instead of glorifying education, innovation, a life of service, on young girls puts way too much false value on appearance.
Being beautiful doesn’t make anyone a good person or a contributing member of society. The vapid shallowness required to justify this type of barbaric treatment of innocent kids is so messed up.
I'm an asian adoptee who grew up in a completely white, Irish American family. While my cultural upbringing was complex, one thing that I'm glad about is that I was never exposed to asian beauty standards growing up. I didn't even realize there was such strong cultural differences in beauty standards until college, when I started making asian friends and they would talk about things like wanting lighter skin or their families pressuring them to get plastic surgery to look more white, essentially (apparently plastic surgery is given as a gift when you graduate high school in Korea). One girl I met, I thought she was incredibly beautiful - but then she told me that according to asian beauty standards in her home country, she was considered unattractive. I was shocked. Growing up in a white household through the 90's, white Americans preferred tanned skin, and an "exotic" look. As culturally problematic as it can be considered nowadays, I had many compliments growing up for my appearance that actually contributed to a positive view of my own body. There were not a lot of asian people around me growing up, or in media, so I had nothing to compare myself to. So I've never had the kind of self esteem issues that so many women go through in their teens. But if I had grown up in an asian household with such strict cultural beauty standards about eye shape and weight and all that, I wonder how different that would have been...
🙏
so true , I'm very mixed and I'm so glad I grew up dutch. I may have only been one of maybe two or three darker kids in class but no one had any expectations to put on me. Skincolour was fine, hair texture was fine, shape of nose. All the things that could have been put on me in other places of my heritage were not. In fact they were usually quite enthousiastic about my differences so I never felt i had to be a blond blue eyed girl.
The U.S is so mixed yet they also put so much onto people who are thought of black for example. They had to have straight hair, now that seems to be changing some luckily.
Its really sad, in japan women can go as far as they are pretty in most cases and working insane amounts, average middle income salary is no longer enough so most have to be pretty enough for prostitution and such.
I'd guess this tendency of having children do plastic surgery will become more common overtime as it will be the only thing that can give their child an edge over others
@@Iflie Segregation may have been outlawed in the 60s, but long after that there were continued efforts to maintain that status quo. It felt like the only real way to bridge that gap was by “being more white.”
I’d like to think we’re making significant progress these days, but it’s a difficult thing to do when it’s been such a loaded issue for so long. Also the people still in charge are geriatric old people who, despite pretending to be progressive, are absolutely not.
@@rubyy.7374 Yeah the u.s is going backwards. And the thing about culture is that things are passed down until black mothers are teaching their daughters about what they should do to their hair to look decent in their eyes.
Looking more white gave them advantages right the way back to when they were working as slaves.
The u.S system leaves the people in the minority in charge over the majority, people who thought separated bus seats were a great idea are still alive and voting.
My Mom made me get ear surgery to pin back my ears when I was a little girl. I didn't see the problem but she did. That ordeal still haunts me today and has given me body dysmorphia. Whenever I see little girls with ears that 'stick' out or are prominent, I think they are the most beautiful thing in the world.
My parents were quite level-headed, especially my Mom. But they fixated on my ears, told me they stuck out from my head and time and again pressured me to let them get fixed while I was still a minor. The reasoning behind this was that our health insurance would pay for the operation if I was still a child and claimed to suffer because of my ears. Preventing further psychological damage was a good reason for our insurance to pay, whereas if I wanted to fix them later in life, I would probably have to pay for this myself.
I was too afraid of having the operation, so I kept my "horribly ugly" ears.
What my parents did succeed in was giving me the feeling that my ears had to be hidden all the time, so I wore my hair long.
If a small piece of my ears peeked through my hair, I was devastated. Funnily enough, the other kids at school and my friends saw me exactly as I saw myself and agreed my ears were horrible and stuck out at an extravagant angle.
Years later, I wanted to wear my hair really short, leaving my ears free for the whole world to see.
And now that I had stopped hiding them, the people around me thought they looked quite normal.
After another few years, even I realized they did indeed look rather unremarkable.
Furthermore, they didn't really stick out at all. They were just a bit on the large side, which really isn't a problem at all.
And as you so rightly said, it doesn't matter if ears stick out or not. People are beautiful either way.
I really am sorry for what your Mom put you through.
My cousin had this surgery as well as a child. I don’t think it was his choice. 😢
My son has sticking out ears. I think they're beautiful and give his (rather cheeky) face character. A he's got older they've become less noticeable anyway 🤷♀️
I think this is different. Here in Germany Parents used to do this as well. But not because of Beauty reasons, they simply want to avoid their children being mocked and bullied. Whitch was the case many times. It was a protectiv matter and it was and is today a very simple procedure compared to an eye lid. Honestly I dont understand what causes you issues today about your ears sticking out as a Kid.
@@sa.de.sm.5864the bullying is the problem, not the body of the child. That's like getting a boob job because you might be bullied.
It’s a form of child abuse. The mother and now the daughter really need some counseling. It’s heartbreaking. 😢
I agree. Many Japanese do consider this a case of child abuse as far as I researched
...IT IS horrible abuse !!!...and this practice has to Stop immediatly !!!
This is utterly devastating.
As a kid my mom would make me stay out of the sun bc “I was too dark” and she would make lean over a boiling pot to heat up my nose and I’d squeeze it to “make it thinner”… she would tell me I was way too skinny and would point out kids I should look like, and even THAT was enough to do a number on my self esteem. Im 35 now and don’t think I’ll ever recover.
These poor kids.
I’m so sorry. 💔
this sounds like my filipino mom
I'm so sorry you've experienced that. I've been bullied because of my nose when I was a child...by adults.
You can recover from anything, no matter how bad it is. You just need to bring yourself to the point you make the hard decision that you no longer want to be limited by words and actions other people said and did against you as a child or even as an adult. Is it easy? NEVER! It is incredibly difficult and mentally taxing, however, it is entirely possible.
It is a process and a journey which will require confronting and acknowledging all the things that you experienced. Honestly, the power & ability is always within you & if you choose to trust in Jesus Christ you'll have even better healing from all your pain through his Holy Spirit who helps us overcome anything at all, no matter how impossible it seems. He can heal you to the point that when you remember the trauma, it will no longer have any negative effect on you. You will have such immense joy and peace, it's so amazing you might think it's all a dream, but it's real.
At the end of the day, everything is a choice, to believe or not believe, to trust or not trust, to change your words and thoughts or not or to limit yourself or come out of limitations imposed on you by others. As Charles Swindol said, "Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it" which is why we have so many amazing motivational speakers out there who chose to overcome all their crushing trauma, whether through therapy, Jesus or their own will power. Your journey to overcoming could be someone's inspiration one day. You Can Do It!
@@hils1015The statement: 'You can recover from anything' is ignorant. Sometimes trauma is too deep.
Dr Gary, at 11:56, there's a misinterpretation. When she had her first plastic surgery at 18, her mother was against it (11:42). The story about the kitchen knife wasn't that her mother was shaming her for not having the perfect face, but more so that the mother was upset that her daughter wanted to change the face she was given, hence why the mother pointed the knife at herself saying "I'm sorry I gave you this face".
Yeah. The mother felt guilty because she was born ugly. In Asia, parents believe that they were the one who "give" the children their appearance as well as other genetic defects as we know that genetics are being passed down from the parents to the children. So the mum felt guilty that she "gave" her an ugly nose which caused her to be bullied at school.
Yes! Glad you've tried to highlight this, I think Dr Gary was so shook whilst watching this he jumped the gun a few times before watching more, which split up some of the more nuanced context of what people were saying. This was a big one that definitely wasn't interpreted fully Vs what was being portrayed. 👍🏻✨
I have mixed feelings about his interpretation of the content in this video as well. Plastic surgeons in the West pin back ears all the time to prevent children from being teased... if the child was truly being bullied or socially isolated (told she is always mean mugging people because of her small eyes) due to the Japanese standards of beauty to the point of wanting plastic surgery, how is this different? Not to mention orthodontic surgeries and procedures which are also mostly cosmetic due to American obsession with straight, white teeth. Again, not condoning or condemning child plastic surgery in either scenario as I have never been in this situation. Just finding his, "how does the government allow this??" response a bit hypocritical.
@@eps3154 honestly, I agree with it about pinning ears back, by which I mean, yes, it's barbaric tbh and I'm not sure why that is allowed, nor do I understand why child genital mutilation is not only allowed, but encouraged socially, in the US particularly, I also think that is something that should NOT be going on. I think they're all a similar level of abhorrent tbh 🤷🏻♂️ but maybe that's just me
@@CedarMountainsnow I understand what you are saying because I'm Taiwanese. It does run rampant that parents make crude comments to their children, and I know it all too well. I don't interpret that to be the case here. There's a nuance in this video that is being glazed over. She specifically said her mother was against her having plastic surgery--so for her mother to learn that she was going to get a nose job caused her mother to be upset. The comment "I'm sorry I gave you this face" is more so along the lines of the mother saying sorry to her, for giving her a facial feature that she hated so much that she wanted to change.
As a japanese 12 year old, I was shocked to find this out. Sure, I know that Japan has high beauty standards. For example, double eyelids, pale skin, skinny figure is admired, and there's even a saying that translates to "white skin hides 7 flaws". However, I agree that this is waaaaay too much. Thank you for raising awareness about this!
It is wild. I heard similar saying in Chinese. White skin hide 100 flaws. Wild. I never get it. I heard it from a popular commercial ad
LOL, it's White Skin hides 3 Flaws (In Chinese). You guys added 4 flaws after you borrowed the saying :P
how ironic, here in America we go to tanning salons to get tan because tan skin actually hides flaws (in our opinion) lol it hides imperfections for like blemishes and stretch marks and cellulite
I have to emphasize that this case (in the video) is extremely rare in Japan, so much so, it became wildly controversial there. Many people consider it child abuse. It seems to be factual that more and more younger patients would like to have a plastic surgery, but many doctors flatly reject it on children.
"This is 'waaaaay' too much"?!? "ANY" of it is too much on a child!
I'm really glad that as a surgeon you're exposing bad laws, surgeon behaviors and practices like this
Yes, he is such a cool doctor. He is so down to earth. A lot of doctors including just GPs have huge egos but he is so kind and does not pretend to be something he is not. He is a special guy.
When I taught in grade schools in South Korea about 6 years ago, a LOT of the 11 to 12-year-olds would get double-eyelid surgery as a gift from their parents. It was normal to have a kid come into class with a patch on one eye at a time so they could still see while it healed. My co-teacher told me that if a female student hadn't had a double-eye lid surgery before high school, their parents must either be poor or not love them! (What?!)
As a foreigner, I was the only female teacher at the school who hadn't had plastic surgery, and while I'm considered conventionally very attractive the other teachers would still suggest procedures for me to get done. It didn't bother me, but I did feel uncomfortable that these conversations were happening in the cafeteria with students all around being influenced by overhearing them brag about what they had gotten done or wanted to "fix" next.
I'm definitely not saying everyone in S Korea is like this; the culture at that school was toxic in general.
That is honestly terrifying
Why, do you have monolids?
That is very terrifying to hear, sometimes people take it really too far!
@@vincentvanwyk5522Most white people do not have monolids. But S. Korea is image obsessed to have the world's highest cosmetic surgery numbers.
How sad. They are changing the face given by God
I worked with a woman of Filipino decent and she had constant breathing problems akin to mine after 2 breaks in my nose . We discussed our individual breathing issues one day and she attributed hers to her grandmother pinching her nose daily as a baby through childhood in order to “thin and smooth it”
I was heartbroken to hear this and saw how much she was suffering 40 years later
😢
Oh my god! My mother did that to me too 🙁 I wonder if that’s the reason why I have breathing problems too?
That's sa d to hear they shouldn't be influenced by WEST specially USA , the more you'll try to copy them the more you get weir d 👾.
@@Jaishankar_s_supremacy we both have lived our entire lives in America , in a major city, it’s sadly super common
the ancients reshaped heads too, it is wild.
I am Filo and have a flat nose bridge, but aside from my side view, I am quite pretty.
My family elders taught me the pinching thing as a child, while our bones are not fully developed. Thank goodness I never cared about it and never did it.
my eyes were the first insecurity i ever developed. my mom and grandma made me very self aware that i had monolids since as far as i can remember as a child. they made me associate monolids as an unattractive physical trait. would tell me to tape my eyelids, etc. now i have such horrible body dysmorphia and im obsessed with plastic surgery. i started onlyfans as soon as i turned 18 in order to afford surgery and move out on my own. i got my eyelids done at 19 and i regret it so much to this day. i wish i gave myself time to learn how to love what i saw as flaws. this video is so heartbreaking to watch. poor girl. i cry for her :/
sorry for you it sounds harsh. I wish you can find the many ways in which you can find balance and fulfillment independently from any cosmetic consideration. You were told a terrible lie, and abused into believing it. I know how hardvit is to stop believing these kind of lies.
Of lol
😢💔
Hugs. It is horrible to say to a child, I am so angry when I hear this type of abuse.
I'm so sorry. Body dysmorphia is the worst
The mothers inferiority complex is being pushed onto her daughters. The mother is just passing her pain onto her daughters. Instead of protecting her daughters from the standards that hurt her, she's subjecting them to it in a worse way.
I have a 9 year old granddaughter. I cannot imagine my daughter ever doing anything remotely close to this!(she would NEVER do this period). My precious girl is perfect just the way she is - we all love her so much & see her beauty as God made her.👧🏼
Ok but you’re not an Asian women in a competitive society so don’t judge her. You will never understand her reasoning
I regret not having my teeth straightened when I was a kid because my parents did not care. I was also bullied at school because of my looks and did not smile because of my teeth for the first 20 years of my life. If my parents had taken care of my looks problems as early as they could have I would have avoided a lot of problems at school. The Japanese mother understands that if you are an ugly girl, you will end up alone, and it is at school that you first realise how boys treat pretty girls and how invisible you are if you are not pretty enough. No love from parents can fix it, or therapy in your adult life, as a kid girl you enter a new world, where you will learn that if you are not pretty you are invisible. And it does hurt when everybody talks to your pretty friend and treats you as if you were invisible. Her mother tried to spare her daughter this experience so I understand this. I would probably wait until my daughter is 18 to suggest plastic surgery.
@@Keralasha444 oh please, you don't have to be Asian to see that mother has a problem. Even other Japanese in her comments were calling her toxic.
@@Keralasha444 Sure, but many other cultures feel similar pressures to look the same (even if it's completely not normal for their culture & country). I grew up in an upper-class (and image-obsessed) part of Bahrain from ages 9-14, and witnessed plenty of Arabic girls get ridiculed 'for fun' by Arabic guys while said guys throw all the positive attention on Brit/American/French expat girls. One girl kept getting told 'God, look at that f_cking beak' every time our classmates noticed that she existed in the room, even though her nose was completely similar to the guys in her class.
There are similar competitive cultures in MANY countries, and people still manage to not drink the koolaid that 'appearances matter everything' or force their kids into surgery (and many of us wound up realising that those that uphold the 'appearances matter' idea? Tend to criticise and nitpick over everything else like hair/clothes/furniture/social status because appearances matter so much to them. Like my mother used to try to pluck my hairline from the age of 11 because mediterranean women tend to have small foreheads and a LOT of hair (and it hurt like hell), but when I squirm away or hide--she turns into an angry, nervous wreck and throws that energy
on my dad, our furniture, or our garden and would even do destructive things on purpose to force my dad to spent tons of money/effort to replace the damage she had caused).
Consider how this kid's dad (and grandparents/any other relative) was completely absent during the interview, and he didn't even show up when his kid went through that long/painful surgery. If the kid's mom is simply conforming to local culture and pushing her kid through it to help the kid 'succeed', then where the hell is the father (or the other relatives) nodding along with her?
Like, I pity her--but I absolutely recognise that this woman's like my mother. Someone who hates and resents herself & her genes, and nitpicks herself and her surroundings (and trust me on this, such people don't hold back when they turn that same critical gaze of themselves right onto their spouse/partner).
“For a girl it’s all about looks. Your personality and anything else doesn’t matter.” 25:54
I am so grateful that my mother never imparted such values to me. Like a lot of the girls in the video, I also grew up in an East Asian country, and I was also bullied for the way I looked. Especially by the guys, who ranked every girl in our class by looks and I came in as second to last. I remember being upset about it. My mom told me that my looks will change as I get older so I shouldn’t feel that dejected, and that even if I didn’t become prettier when I grow up, it doesn’t matter because I could still be pretty kind and pretty smart. Then my mom advised me to study, because physical beauty fades with youth, but knowledge stays with you forever.
When I was 18, my mom offered to pay for me to get a double eyelid surgery, and I told her that I didn’t spend my childhood coming to terms with my monolids to change them now. Anyway, I realized that my mom wasn’t actually against PS as I originally assumed - she truly just wants me to be happy. More importantly, she lets me decide what makes me happy instead of making the decision for me. For an East Asian parent, that’s honestly pretty rare.
You are blessed to have such a wonderful mom
@ Gan Quan
Unfortunately, "boys" are like that all over the world. Living in the NYC area, behind the Statue of Liberty working in NYC starting with summer jobs in high school, going to college, going to concerts, I can't tell you how many times I heard guys say, "Look at that one." In lifeguard classes or swimming (competitive swimmer), the guys are just watching the girls walk out to the pool. It's embarrassing and I always wore a cover up until we had to get in the pool - and not because I was unattractive but because they're staring at you. Some girls feed into the vanity with I'm prettier than you, the same as I'm cooler than you. It's all peer pressure, it's wrong but it's part of growing up. Young people need to get involved with reading, philosophy, meditation to develop their maturity and have direction that steers them away from that mindset and the distress and psychological problems it causes. It's very superficial and life is much more than that. Young adults need direction and depth to understand that.
Thank you for sharing. Your mom sounds kind and wise. I'm glad you were resilient and found self-acceptance ❤
@@valeriahaze9509 you are crazy!
I wouldn’t say it’s all about looks but if a man approached a woman is all about the looks AT FIRST. Prettier people on average are treated better and they can make more mistakes. Believe me if a pretty woman sneeze and a little peck of spit hit a man’s lip he would not be as bother as if a ugly woman did the same.
All children of race, are all beautiful. All carry unique features. A child does not need to be compare to any other culture for plastic surgery to occur. Let a child be a child.
Amen brother, If only this look on beauty was shared by all we wouldn't have videos like this. I saw a video about S-korea that the parent gift their kid a cosmetic surgery when they graduate.
What about the maiming of children forced to undergo trans surgeries? And don't tell me it's not forced, a child cannot consent legally.
As if there are children with no race😂
Exactly. Children have the right to be just children! Let them be. That's so sad....
@@CreationsByB I think you might want to try spewing your hate somewhere else. Dr Gary's channel isn't the place for this, maybe your echo chamber is best. 👋🏻✨
i studied abroad in japan in high school, and my best friend told me she had a double-eyelid surgery in 3rd grade. i was shocked, and assumed it was part of the culture but now that i’m older i realize how crazy that really is. plastic surgery at 8/9 years old….is crazy
not to mention the surgeon messed up and her eyelids are not the same :/
My fiancée had jaw surgery over a month ago. Not for aesthetics, but because his jaw was not properly positioned. He had migraines and started to have arthritis on the jaw. The surgery was to position the jaw correctly, so he wouldn’t have potentially dangerous problems in the future. He is still recovering from the surgery. I took care of him for the first weeks and let me tell you - it was rough. Not being able to eat any food, having to keep his mouth closed all the time, the intense pain and swelling.. The first day after surgery we asked ourselves how the fuck some people do this voluntarily.
That surgery is brutal. I wish your fiancée the best. In 1980, I was diagnosed with TMJ disorder. My Dr, was working on non-surgical ways to treat some types of jaw issues. It took 3 years and uncomfortable, but nothing like what he is going through now. Two young men I knew with jaw malfunctions and TMJ, hard the surgery. The changes in each were remarkable. Bless you! Best wishes for the future.
My husband had only a tooth pulled out. He did not even have a swelling. But he could not eat hard food for several days. It was terrible!!! He almost drove me crazy. Because he was hungry and grumpy all the time. People should be happy if they are healthy and do not need any surgery at all.
I should've done this same surgery, but I was too scared of the recovery. In my case, I can control the migraines with preventing medication. My orthodontist accepted because my case was on the edge between surgery and braces treatment, so I opted for braces. 8 long years using those things, but I know I could never face such a drastic procedure, just pulling some teeth was horrible. Hope your fiancée gets better soon.
I completely agree! At age 13 in 1981, I HAD to have double jaw realignment surgery. The left side of my jaws stopped growing at age 9, and the right side continued to grow until I was almost 13. I had braces starting at age 10 to try to correct the bite issues, but they continued to progress. So, 2 months before my 14th birthday, I underwent surgery because while my teeth touched on the right side, I had over an inch gap between my molars on the left when biting. I was never asked if I wanted this surgery, I was just told I was having it. But I think I fully understood why it was needed. I already had TMJ at 13!
However, the surgery I had was not cosmetic, it was needed for functional reasons. And since it was 1981, my mouth was wired completely shut for 8 full weeks. I can still remember the pain and long healing time and cannot imagine having elective cosmetic surgery at that age or younger.
@Laura Lowry you sound like my friend. She went through years and years of orthodontics, but still couldn't close her mouth all the way. She had very little chin and an overbite of about half an inch. She had her jaw broken and reset at 16. They were able to make do with tight rubber bands instead of wiring, but she was in a deal of pain post surgery. IIRC it was decided for her as well, but it was the right thing to do as she had problems with chewing and all kinds of breathing issues. She had an amazing smile now, but wow what it took to get there.
I’m Japanese with monolids and when I was young, I remember wanting to get double eyelid surgery. I’m glad I didn’t, because I’ve learned to appreciate my eyelids and I’m in my 30’s now. I know the feeling of “feeling ugly” as a minor, but I think it’s a normal part of growing up. We all have insecurities but we learn to accept who we are as we get older.
By the way, there was one part in the video that didn’t translate well. The hostess was saying that her mom apologized to her because she felt bad that she was not able to give her the face she wanted at birth. She didn’t mean that she regretted having her. The mom regretted the fact that her child had suffered so much emotional pain due to her looks. She blamed herself for giving her “undesirable” facial features. I believe she thought that she failed as a mom, that she had failed to give her daughter what she wanted. She regretted her daughter’s suffering so much that she was willing to take her own life, pointing the knife to herself.
I think monolids are adorable! Some days, I wish I looked more Asian. 🤦🏻♀️
I think it's their unique features that separates from others
@@sherriv4860 oh hell nah. R u koreaboo or some😂
Glad someone pointing that out. I understand what the hostess meant so when I heard Dr.Gary interpretation i got quit confused (can't blame him cause the translation is not very clear). 😅 I'm just someone very fascinated with Japanese culture and way of thinking, hope he got to read your comment.
I don't get it at all... The hostess looked STUNNING in her "before" picture... 💔😔
hii i speak japanese, there's a translation error at 18:51. the mom didn't say "I'm very sorry that I made her go through that painful experience." she actually said "I'm so sorry that I couldn't birth her with double eyelids." like the mom's crying feeling bad she couldn't just have given her daughter double eyelids biologically
edit!! i just watched the full vice video, in the full thing the mother says is "I'm so sorry that i couldn't birth her with double eyelids. after the procedure i felt terrible making her go through the pain and i told her I'm so sorry, you're so brave. then she [the daughter] said no mommy don't cry, you spent all that money to make me prettier, i am happy. thank you mommy"
this is so sick i feel so bad for both of them:(
That-is-crazy. 😮
That is crazy.
The phrase is usually for when the child was born with some type of disease.
Mothers saying: “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to give birth to a healthy baby” is not uncommon.
@@monicas2461 Many, many times is because of the father or social and healthy situations, but women always take the blame for everything. 🙄 No one can control 100% the genetic and pregnancy's process.
@@monicas2461 It shouldn't be interpreted that way. She literally just wished that she could control what traits/features her daughter inherited (if it's even in their genetics, lol). It's like saying, "I wish I gave my kid blue eyes," when your kid has brown eyes... just because you think blue eyes are prettier.
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly.
We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
Poor little sweetheart, she was already so beautiful. How could her mother say she wasn't. The mother put her daughter through this painful surgery for the mother's own vanity. Shame on her.
These little children are being subjected to horrific trauma, and I'm sure this will have a detrimental impact on their psychology and the relationship with their parents.
Don’t forget mental health
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly.
We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
Perfect quote sir "of course her life hasn't changed, no one is looking at a 9 year old and judging them on how their eyelids look, that's ridiculous".... that's totally what I took away from another one of your excellent content creations. Much love from the UK ❤️🇬🇧❤️🇬🇧
I can’t see how anyone could look at that little girl’s big, beautiful eyes (pre surgery) and think they need to be changed. This is just insane and heartbreaking
My heart is broken for her 😢
Their culture isn't very good. It's almost as bad as usa
I grew up in Japan and my mom suggested too when I was pre teen. I didn't do it, but was hurt knowing my parents think I was ugly
I suspect you are far from ugly my dear. I hate the fact that, so-called beauty trumps everything else we are made up of. I know women and men here in Canada who consider themselves sooo good looking, but they are not, they are rude, ugly people who live shallow lives and are missing out on the true beauty of the world. Compassion, love, animals, natures beauty, the beauty of grace and knowledge, of laughter and rain etc. Our inner beauty trumps what a shallow mindset of outer beauty is by thousands of miles.
how old are you now?
What makes Japanese people think that something like that makes them prettier? So Japanese woman , that has beautiful face with typically Asian features, would be considered ugly by people from her country?
I am absolutely shocked! I'm Japanese American, I wasn't a cutie when I was that little girls age either but once I got to be a teenager I really blossomed. You cannot judge someone so young on their looks because that changes as they grow. Plus I've seen many gorgeous Asian women with monolids. Poor little girls!
❤😢
I find her adorable tbh and I'm sure you were very cute too in your own way. And I agree, monolids are also gorgeous in their own way!
There is beauty in variety
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly.
We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
I always thought monolids were gorgeous and enviable.
This reminds me so much of my own mom. We're viet & I was born in US, she immigrated. I went through 7 years of braces & had multiple painful oral surgeries because she wasn't satisfied with my smile. She practically jumped on the option when my orthodontist suggested jaw surgery. Luckily at that point I was 18 & able to say no. She's made several comments about paying for "correcting" my monolids over the years too. She got her eyelids done a couple years back & I def don't think they were worth. She's super thrilled with them though. I think the only reason why she didn't try to truly put me under the cosmetic knife was because she couldn't convince my dad. He never thought I needed any surgery & he'd be footing the bill if it did happen.
There's something to be said about women projecting onto their children. She was always ragging on me about my weight & now that I have lost weight (from leading a less stressful lifestyle, stress eater) she refuses to even acknowledge it. Especially when other people compliment me. She has eternally been comparing herself to me since I hit puberty. Her current new fixation is "complaining" about my unladylike behavior to her sisters since she has nothing else to pick on me for anymore. I love the woman to death, but I'll never understand her or the shit she used to put me through. Any verbal abuse I get from her now I just roll my eyes, call her a dinosaur (for her prehistoric views on what an ideal woman should be), or tattle to my husband. Hubby wonderfully has no problems with guilting her & making her feel bad like a teacher scolding a 5 year old. I have long stopped looking for validation from her or anyone else really. Maybe just a little from hubby 😉
I too had a mother who was jealous of me, so I know the feeling. Luckily my mom never picked on my looks. Seriously everything came out 'okay' except for a baseball bat hitting my front teeth, so I needed braces. I'm guessing she didn't pick on my looks because she was normal cute/pretty from child to adult. But oh boy, everything else. I'm an only, so she couldn't complain about me to siblings, but she actually did it with my kids a couple of times when they were teenagers & they told me about it...can you imagine?
is she a narc? sounds like she is😐
I have a jealous mother, later learned she may possibly be narcissistic, always criticising, jealous, no love, never was never will be
She is who she is and learning about narcissistic mothers really helped me to see things clearly and not take on her trauma anymore
@@Bufekana At the least, my mom was the youngest in a family of 4 & then a codependent alcoholic with my dad. So definitely narcissistic traits built in with those.
There is one thing I find quite interesting. Many Vietnamese people settle in the US, get US citizenship, then return to Vietnam to have cosmetic surgery and cosmetic porcelain teeth. While most of their children's generation got braces in the US, 90% of overseas Vietnamese returned to Vietnam to get porcelain teeth done.😢
As a teen growing up in Asia, my parents couldn't afford the surgery, but I used eyelid tape or glue almost daily and felt I was treated better with them on than without. I'm over all that now and love that I resemble my late grandmother when she was younger.
Abuse comes in many forms. This certainly ranks among them. It's coercive nature bullies a young mind into acquiescence. What an appalling state of affairs.
That poor baby crying during surgery….probably wishing she had never done it. Broke my heart for her. That’s was like torture and just senseless.
As a Japanese citizen, I'm pretty surprised that there's no regulation to ban a cosmetic surgery for the underage here in Japan. And it's also sad that these people going thru non stop plastic surgeries, including that mom who had her little daughter have one, were all deeply traumatized by their parents constantly calling them ugly. Hope parents let their kids know they are all precious and loved no matter how they look.
I think it's one of those things where they didn't make the law, because people used to have the sense to not do crap like this. Common sense has done out the window.
Recently there was a big ad campaign in the train/subway of Tokyo promoting double eyelid surgery for teenagers, specifically before they graduate high school (they can change their eyes before starting their "new life" as university student). The price was rather affordable and it was advertised without any mention of risks etc... Very disturbing!
My family is big on adoption and one of my Korean American cousins has the “mono” eyelid and I think she is so beautiful. I love the way she looks and was even jealous growing up because I thought her eyes were fantastic. I had no idea until I grew up that some people don’t think it’s beautiful! I hope my cousin doesn’t doesn’t feel this way. 😢
Same!
I think the fact that Dr Gary has a lovely young daughter himself makes him even more sensitive to this topic. I don’t think I have ever seen him so opposed to a concept as in this video (and rightly so).
Maybe plastic surgeons in the western world should lobby WHO and UNHCR to have an international response to what is child abuse. Female genial mutilation is another horror passed from one generation to another. The mutilation has been banned but some mothers still try to have daughters mutilated despite heavy fines and jail time. Children and the elderly are among the most vulnerable in society. We must be united to stamp out these abusive practices.
I've seen children with Down Syndrome getting eyelid surgey to look "normal" in other children't eyes, which helps with socialization and friendships. Even that is pretty iffy, since parents think that it's easier to change a child's appearance than teach other children to treat all kinds of people without prejustice.
oh my god i've never heard of that... that's so fucking awful.
Wait what?!
Yes, I've seen that too and in my old neighbourhood a woman did that with her young child. So her ears and eyes looked "normal" and she did something with the mouth (so she wasn't drooling that much) I find that so sick.
@@laramaaike3050I don't see anything wrong with getting your kid a procedure so they don't drool. Folks really need to stop with the disability porn. Anything that can help a kid have a more normal life, I support.
@@dawnvalentine74 seconded
My 5 foot four 115 pound daughter had a breast reduction at 15. Her breasts were misshapen and so massive that we had to buy specialty bras. She wore a 32 double H. I took her into a consultation thinking that we would have to wait until she was 18, but the surgeon suggested that we perform it now. I supported my daughter’s decision, and she went through with the surgery, and she said it was the best decision. She is no longer in pain, physically, and emotionally. Watching this, I feel guilty in some respects, because we could have waited until she was 18. But in this rare occasion, I feel this was the right thing to do. I’m willing to hear any respectful thoughts… yes, she menstruated at 10 and wore a 32DDD in fifth grade~
I think that you were not wrong, this is different than simply cosmetic surgery but quality of life in that she could have had problematic back pains if you had waited. You did it out of care & concern and most of all for her health, this lady did did this to her daughter because she herself has mental health problems and unfortunately she is putting that on her child.
But you could have avoided this by feeding her moderately. In my culture it's not everything a child desires that you give him or her. I pray the surgery doesn't affect her in future.
@@chz76 I doubt that. This is most likely genetic or a hormone disorder issue. 115lbs is a very normal weight for that height.
@@chz76 so rare for that to be diet related, you couldn’t be more wrong on that
@@chz76 she is 115 lb, which is 52.3 kg. She is slim! Just breasts were large. You are so out of line considering she was over feeding her daughter and your “culture” is somehow superior. Considering how rude you are, maybe reevaluate your “culture”
That is so sad to have children think beauty comes from how you look on the outside instead of beauty coming from the inside.
!!!!!
The mother seems to have some narcissistic aspects because she is obviously using her kids as extensions of herself and her own deeply held insecurities about not looking somehow European. Very sad.
Reminded me of that famous quote: "Anyone Can Be A Father Or Mother But Not Everyone Can Be A Parent" This mother is clearly not mature enough to have a child and as you're saying she is clearly living out her dream vicariously through her daughter. Shits sad
The way the mother speaks sounds like a teenager (overusing slangs), she doesn’t sound mature at all.
It’s not about looking european.
It’s not about looking European though. Double eyelids aren’t a European trait-many Asians naturally have double eyelids.
Russia. The Republic of Buryatia. Many Buryat girls have double eyelids from birth. What kind of nonsense are you writing?
My parents are Japanese and I grew up in Australia. My mother insisted to use tapes and glues to make me have double eyelids. My Australian side objects to the Japanese culture pursuing beauty but living in Japan at the moment it’s really hard to maintain my objection. So I watch these kind of RUclips videos to keep reminding me a healthier perspective.
Even those who object to plastic surgery on minors, many parents agree on giving their daughter laser hair removal, eyelash extensions and eyelash perms. I want to leave my daughters to live naturally but if the “average” standard here is “unnatural” I don’t know how natural I can keep my girls.
It is Australia. We go everywhere with sandals😂. We have such a relax life here. Natural beauty is the best beauty ever.
Honestly japan is a bad place to raise kids in
It's really pathetic. It's self hate and it's internalized white supremecy. You are perfect the way God designed you. Your eyes are beautiful and unique. This is craaaazy
I have monolids never let anyone convince you to get double lids I feel like I have something different I'm the only one in my moms family with them I love that I have Asian blood from my dad. The obsession with double eyelids is insane
Penso que se você olhar para suas filhas como crianças que precisam ser felizes com brincadeiras, sem se preocupar com a aparência pois se é só por beleza uma cirurgia plástica é algo muito agressivo para qualquer criança e criança não quer desagradar a mãe mas merece respeito e acho que você conseguirá respeitar o direito de suas filhas como crianças sem artifícios de adultos que na verdade refletem muito a própria insegurança quando nada os satusfaz. Elas terão anos pela frente para serem adultas mas um período curto para serem crianças. Podemos ser nós mesmos mesmo frente a uma sociedade doente que não consegue ver sua própria doença. Eu acho que você é uma ótima mãe e saberá tomar a melhor e mais sábia decisão.
I’m half Korean and my eyelids actually did change with age. I have typical hooded Asian eyes but with a small fold so not monolids but as I aged and gained some weight my eyelid crease actually changed position and became bigger and higher up on my eyelid. So honestly if some people saw a before and after they might think I’d had double eyelid surgery. It’s really weird, I’ve never seen or heard of this happening but then again I don’t usually go around scrutinizing peoples’ eyelids.
This video is heartbreaking, I truly hope this sweet little girl can eventually heal from this awful indoctrination at the hands of her sick mother.
Ive always had double lids and it happened to me too, one side became deeper and moved slightly higher!
@@Ichigo29ify lol I’m glad I’m not the only one. I was in denial until I had to start doing my makeup differently because of it. 😂
typical hooded asian eyes wtf is that? hooded eyes are completely different from monolids
I had a friend who was 3/4 Chinese and 1/4 Malay this happened to her too!
@@manuelakuchta7093 lol maybe the Caucasian busts out more as we age. My sister started to look more like our white mom as she got older, genetics are wild.
I had a blepharoplasty and ectropion repair surgery done earlier this year under local anaesthetic. I was having both eyes operated on at the same time and they could only finish part of the procedure on my left eye due to me being unable to stop panicking during the surgery. I'm 30 years old and I needed the surgery for medical reasons.
I could see, feel and hear everything they were doing and it was awful. I had nightmares about it afterwards!
I would NEVER want a child to go through such a thing and put that trauma onto them let alone all of the other emotional trauma that the mother is inflicting onto her daughter.
This is highly upsetting to me.
As a Japanese woman myself I have to say Japan changed for the worse after world war 2. We have lost almost all of our values and traditions. We live dissociating ourselves all the time. Fragmentation of the spirit, mind and body.
My mom told me at the age of 11 "don't worry you can get a double eyelid surgery when you get older" while my dad told me "your eyes are sparkly and beautiful you can not see yourself when you smile" now I understand what my dad told me that.. I can see it in my daughter's eyes ❤I'm glad I've never followed my mother's "advice". I've healed that within myself and now my daughter doesn't carry any burden.
Great video as always ❤
Ps: My daughter is 9 also and it broke my heart into million pieces when I watched the vice video. I just wish peace for that little girl 😢🙏
While I understand what you mean, Imma stop you from saying that Japan changed for the worse after WW2. As a Filipino, we appreciate the Japan of today who is not raping my people. You're not perfect now, but you ain't really any better pre-WW2.
@@wafercrackerjack880 while you are talking about what men did to women I'm talking about the values and traditions in general and how capitalism changed everything to an extreme.
@@wafercrackerjack880 I'm sorry to tell you that as much as we don't like to admit it raping and child abuse is still happening everywhere all the time. It's disgusting but it's another "business" that increased thanks to technology etc.
You are talking about nom acceptable behaviour and I agree with you, but that's not the intention of my comment. Thanks for reminded us those behaviours are NEVER acceptable.
@Wafer Crackerjack your comment is completely inappropriate and unacceptable.
You think you would like communism or socialism better? Nobody has invented anything better than capitalism so far. You are free to not having any plastic surgeries or making any other decisions freely while nobody is free in communism. Your comment doesn't make any sense.
The impression that I get is that in Japan plastic surgery goes deeper than just self esteem and has implications for jobs and being marriageable later in life. The society is all about fitting in to very strict exacting beauty standards and there needs to be a cultural shift.
Japanese women may have different reasons than western women,but in the end its mostly women who folow some beauty standards, just look whats on the rise now those high cheeks and no fat on the face looks horrible and why ,because Gigi Hadid has it.
We are talking about Japan and yet women in the west folow plastic surgery like its some kind of haircut.
Best example the Kardashians they all got butt implants, but big butts are "out of fashion" now they took their butt implants out and even their breast implants.
Japan and Korea
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly.
We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
@@Genesis-rx7vn good to know. Thanks for setting the record straight!
@@celestialcircledance Thanks for the reply. I'm tired of this kind of videos.
Let's have mutual respect for each other nations and live in peace and harmony😇
No one is better than the other; we're all flawed in God's eyes.
God bless.
For the Rie girl, her mom didn’t regret having her for her looks, what her mom said was along the lines that she felt guilty she could not birth her child the way she (Rie) wanted to be, like appearance wise, and the mom pointed the knife at herself, making Rie feel guilty to make her mom feel like that.
Watching this video was really hard but thank you Dr. Gary for saying all what you said, you're an absolute star.
I had plastic surgery on my ears when I was 11 and back then I didn't realize that I was way too young to make that decision. They even do this surgery on 6 years olds and here in Germany the health insurance often pays for it because "the child might get bullied". Personally, I never got any bad comments about my ears from other children - only from adults. And when my mom said "You can't wear a ponytail with those ears" I took it as a fact and thought that getting the surgery was just a cool thing to make me "more beautiful".
A few years later protruding ears became a trendy thing in high fashion and nowadays I see a couple of Kpop stars having protruding ears and looking super cute with them. Meanwhile, I got chronically depressed after this surgery and the unpleasant, lonely week I spent in the hospital (bad sleep, allergic reaction, being surrounded by grown up strangers). I know I got really unlucky and others have less problematic experiences with this surgery. But I generally hate this whole societal mindset that leads to these plastic surgeries on children. What if your child gets bullied "because" of their height, skin color, hair texture or voice? Do you wish you could change those features with surgery as well?
The good thing is that I am now very aware of the health risks of plastic surgery. So whenever I'm unsatisfied with a visual feature of mine I remind myself that it's not worth the risk to get plastic surgery on it and that the feature makes me look more unique 😊
I had this surgery as well, and was also never bullied about my ears, just a couple comments from family. I had relatives who'd had surgery, unfortunately it was only covered by insurance when I was underage which is why my parents pushed for me to get it in my teens. The pain I had during healing was horrible, and it made me scared of having surgery in the future. I absolutely prefer my ears now, but if I'd had the choice to get it done as an adult on my own decision I would never have done it. I get why some surgeries are seen as acceptable (and my parents are very anti-plastic surgery, I think to them they almost saw it like a deformity more than cosmetic), but then I wonder how is that different than how people view monolids in another country? The whole thing makes me sad. It sounds like you had a pretty bad experience with all the complications, I'm sorry :(
My father's ears stick flat to his head and he used to look like Dumbo prepuberty. That's another reason that this is not for kids.
@@bleepbloop101010101 Thank you for your sympathy :) Being afraid of future surgeries must suck - luckily I don't have this problem. The most annoying thing for me is that they put 6 silicone strings in my ears to stabilize the form. It looks very natural from the front but one of the strings moved to the surface and had to be surgically removed 3 years later. And now I'm kinda stuck with the other 5 ones and I hope I can get them removed some day without starting to cry at the doctor's office while explaining why I want them gone, LOL (I think they make my ears more sensitive, they burn like hell after 1 hour of wearing heavy sunglasses & it just can't be not unhealthy to have them in my body).
And yeah, my mother is also very pro "natural beauty" (more than me) but for some reason this plastic surgery is an exception - probably because the result looks natural.
I was actually just talking to someone about something similar a couple days ago- when I was around 10 or 11, I hated my ears so much! I never wore my hair up, I felt so self conscious about them. My parents obviously wouldn't allow me to get the surgery, and honestly a few years later I "grew into my ears." I'm glad I didn't get the procedure, it sounds awful for something I ultimately didn't even need!
I made fun of a boy who wouldn't take no for an answer until he had his ears pinned & I don't regret it but I am sad other people would be rude
I’m half White and half Asian… I happened to get the double eyelid as a biracial person… and ironically I would often look at my Asian family members and wish I had the monolid, I always thought it was beautiful. So I can’t believe parents are pressuring their kids to change their eyes as such a young age (as a mom this makes my heart hurt)
I’m a white girl who finds Asian features incredibly beautiful and I fully agree! My partner is half Japanese and does not have monolids but I love his Asian features and would be thrilled if our future kids look like him.
People want what they don’t have it seems.
As a Japanese woman, I grew up with my family telling me to get surgery and lasers all the time. They don’t suggest it because YOU are self conscious about it, they suggest it because Japanese people care A LOT about what others think of them, and they often like to show off their kids and grandkids to other people. If you have tan skin, freckles, monolids, baby fat…etc they will tell you how ugly it is and how it will affect your possibilities of finding a job. All to pressure you to fix it.
I thankfully never fell for their tricks but my dad said the same thing as the little girls mum “i felt so bad that you were born with freckles”.
Also having handicap kids is viewd as a failure and shameful in Japan, so I think that mother os trying to compensate in a fucked up way with her daughters. It’s a really horrible part of Japanese society and culture. That mother will ruin her kids, and should not be a mother.
Bruh, freckles are so cute!
freckles sre bad yet crooked teeth are cute..okay
Keep fighting never lose hope it's your life
There's no one who have right against your life if you will lose hope I am sure our next generation sure they are goona lose their hope. 🙁🥺
@@EtreTocsin i mean, it's different for each country. i'm from an asian country, and straight teeth is slowly becoming the standard for the young here (not for the old tho, because there wasn't much dental care in their era). so our standard of teeth is based on the western standard - white, straight teeth - now that our dental services are much more developed. what i'm trying to say is that beauty standards are dependent on trends, and trends can change. conforming to beauty standards with permanent methods like surgery is completely stupid to me because as trends fade out, your beauty fades out too. in the end, we just have to learn to love every part of our body
I thought it to be mostly korean's problem.
This video also made me realize how lucky I am to have a mom that always told us kids how much she loved us, physical or mental flaws and all.
It shouldn't be underestimated how much parent's opinions affect the children.
My mom always tried to lose weight and loved corsets because she's a bit chubby, and now that I'm the same way, I find myself always wanting to lose weight and wear corsets.
My mom NEVER told me that I needed to lose weight or wear corsets, but since I saw the person I adored the most in the world do that, I've found myself wanting to do that to myself as well.
I don't blame my mom for it at all though, her mom (my grandma) and especially her mom (my great grandmother) were REALLY into looks, and pushed that onto their children.
Very disturbing , these parents are allowing their children to undergo painful procedures that will have more psychological effects.
It's abuse !!
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly.
We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
She called her own daughter ugly right in front of her face!! If she wasn't feeling bad about herself before, she sure does now! This mother is horrible! This whole "trend" is horrific!!!
My mom was abused emotionally and physically by her mom and stepdad. The emotional part was that they constantly told her how ugly she was and how no one would ever love her. Her stepdad was an alcoholic and spent most of their money on gambling and alcohol so my mom remembers going to school in messy rundown clothes and feeling so down on herself from the abuse. As a mom she was very loving in so many ways and didn’t want to continue the cycle of abuse so she really focused a lot on my looks as I grew up. She would tell me how beautiful I was, but she also would focus very closely on my looks (she started taking me for facials when I was 7, because she spotted one small pimple on my face), and really made sure I dressed very well and focused on making sure my weight was just right, etc. I know she genuinely felt that she was helping me be the best physical version of myself (she wanted me to have what she didn’t), but putting a focus on looks at such a young age really messes with you mentally. I have no resentment towards her at all because I know she was very messed up by her childhood and was doing her best. I have learned from the experience how important it is to focus on a child’s heart, their mind, etc, and don’t worry so much about the looks part. Let them be innocent of that as long as possible. The world will already put so much pressure on them to look a certain way, they don’t need their own parents adding on to that. I feel terrible for these poor children getting these cosmetic surgeries at such a young age and having so much focus put on the way they look. The mental damage that this will ultimately do to them will be really rough 😔
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly.
We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
Your mom should have told her mother that it was all her fault because of her ugly gene. 😁
@@Genesis-rx7vn the issue is that it's legal I mean obviously that's the issue, tattoos and earings are fine come on
@@WikiiMomo You are very uninformed.
It is legal in the US too.
It’s called Pediatric plastic surgery and they even recommend otoplasty for 4 years old.
Rhinoplasty in children is not forbidden, but just advised to wait until the facial features reach a stable point.
@@WikiiMomo Tattoos are totally unnecessary, and painful as well as piercing ears.
In Brazil, they pierce the baby girl’s ears when they are newly born🤷♂️
Do you think that should be illegal?
Well, the Brazilians don’t.
I barely able to watch this, seeing her crying as the surgeon cut her eyelid broke my heart. It's true that every kid deserves to have parents, but not every parents deserve to have kids. I am barren so I could never have children, but if that girl were mine, I will tell her that she's beautiful just the way she is everyday, because SHE IS! 😢💔
I tell my niece and nephews the same thing everyday, that I love them all just the way they uniquely are and that they're all equally beautiful. It's also a blessing that their mother (my closest cousin, I'm an only child) shares my point of views about raising children. I am so glad and proud that my beloved niece (6) and nephews (4 and 9) are all growing up to be kindhearted, empathic kids. They are cute, smart, healthy, and confident children, and I will do anything to keep them in the right, balanced path and education. ❤ They are our future generation
I'm a Japanese girl, I also had a cosmetic surgery to get eyelids at 18.
I was raised in Tokyo, Japan, so I'm also one of the people who struggle with Japanese beauty standards.
When I was in a middle school, I started to concern about the fact that I didn't have eyelids. I know that there're many people who doesn't have eyelids but looks great. Yet, many girls who don't have eyelids including me, were always trying to make it with cosmetic glue every single day.
I was always feeling sad when I see my face in the mirror or photos. It became my inferiority complex. That's why I had the plastic surgery, even though my mom tried to stop me many times. I don't regret about I had a plastic surgery cuz it's MY decision., and I'm satisfied. However, I believe that this Japanese beauty standard is kinda stereotype and it's maybe not good. Age to have the plastic surgery is getting younger, and population is increasing. Having plastic surgery is getting to be considered more casual thing.
One of the reasons that Japanese beauty standards has been shaped like this, is less diversified value in Japan. Unlike America, we don't really have different types of race, so our beauty standards tends to be standardized, and it's promoted by those companies. Social medias have played a role to spread this value in this capitalist society. I guess Korea has been well known as more famous for these plastic surgery and lookism society among Japanese people, but we might be getting closer. I hope it can be better.
Thank you for the insight. 🙏 There are beauty standards everywhere in the world. Everyone wanted cat eyes where I live.
At the end of the day, we have to do what we believe is best for us.
Why do Japanese people think monolids are ugly when they are how you are naturally made? It’s a special feature others don’t have not a defect! Monolids are pretty.
@@TheVickikelly similar to why people bleach their skin?
It could be, that people want a "biracial" look?
@@TheVickikelly some say it makes them look like they're glaring at others. they like it because it make their eyes looks bigger, kind of similar to how white people look. and they like cute things so it makes them look doll-like. tho non-cosmetics reasons include irritation from downward-growing lashes.
Hi Dr. Gary! First of all, thank you so much for your informative videos, I'm a huge fan!
I'm a European woman living in South Korea, and while Korea and Japan are obviously different countries with their respective cultures, there seem to be many similarities in terms of beauty standards, so I wanted to give some insight into why so many people here abuse plastic surgery and injectibles.
1. Plastic surgery/cosmetic procedures are very accessible to the average person: in Korea, it costs about $20 to get botox injected in your glabella. Here, only doctors are allowed to administer injectibles, so you don't have to worry about unqualified staff injecting your face, and this is all done at reputable big clinics. It is as easy as going to get a drink after work - I could literally make a reservation for 5 PM today and go get a bundle of 3 or 4 procedures done (botox + filler + skin laser) for under $200, leaving the clinic after less than an hour. Double eyelid surgeries are minimally invasive and can cost as little as $500-$700.
2. Plastic surgery is openly advertised: when you arrive at Gangnam station in Seoul (where most reputable plastic surgery hospitals are), you are greeted by numerous colorful posters with very provocative slogans plastered all over them: "Everything is easy when you are pretty", "Being pretty is everything", "Time for you to be beautiful too". The posters usually feature beautiful celebrities and influencers who embody the Korean beauty standard. There are no regulations limiting how plastic surgery is advertised and there are a couple of very popular plastic surgery apps similar to Yelp - users writing reviews for clinics and doctors, and clinics advertising bundle packages and "events" (meaning limited-time discounts on specific procedures). GangnamUnni is the representative one.
3. Lastly, the beauty standard - in Korea, there is no such thing as "diverse beauty". The beauty standard is very narrowly defined and it's drilled into everybody's head from a very young age - big eyes (with double eyelids), pale skin, a small head and face with a defined V-line jawline, and slender body with long legs. The only variation over the past few years has been the lip shape - while small, "cherry-like" lips were traditionally popular, with the vast popularity of fillers somewhat of a fuller lip has been becoming more popular. What I listed above is the only beauty standard and if you possess all of the mentioned features, you are beautiful. If you don't and you have small eyes or a darker complexion, you are not pretty (you can still be referred to as "charming" or "charismatic" but not "beautiful" because "beautiful" is very narrowly defined). Hence, why the woman in the video is talking about being bullied as a kid and people not referring to her as beautiful.
Incredibly sad. To me, this is denying your heritage. Additionally, I had a blepharoplasty to correct vision problems. I had a complication, right eyelid really bled. It hurt! I am no wimp either! I had two babies without any meds and this eyelid surgery hurts! I would not want my children to hurt.
@@katydid5088 yes, blepharoplasty for vision, as I indicated mine was. Please read again. Doing eyelid surgery to children is cruel.
A child having any cosmetic procedures is disgusting, but I just want to step in here and say that double eyelid surgery isn't denying your heritage. I think a lot of westerners believe this surgery is meant to make them look less Asian, but that's not the case. In Korea, 40% of people are born with double eyelids and those with monolids who are getting this procedure simply want to look more like them.
@Holly Noel Nah! Asians are also influenced by European Beauty Standards but they don’t want to admit it. 💇♂️
@@Orlanzepol123 uhh. Well culture is global now so yes all cultures are influenced by each other to a degree, but Japanese beauty standards are still very much based on their own cultural ideals. If they were as affected by European beauty ideals as you think they would also idealize blonde hair and tanned skin which are actually considered to be ugly in Japan. Also most Japanese people naturally have double eyelids. It's not a white or European trait. Plus, someone could easily claim many white people these days are getting surgery to look more Asian. They are getting their nose bridges reduced, getting higher cheekbones, and getting their eyelids changed to look more angular / "cat eye"
You should not be forced to match whatever "heritage" you were born into, that's a pretty racist attitude.
Plastic surgery for KIDs should be ILLEGAL unless it's life threatening for medical reasons
Absolutely heartbreaking. Child abuse really. Thanks a million for your informative work, Dr Gary ❤
That poor little girl.
Her mother just constantly tells her that she's not good enough the way she is.
As someone who was an extension of my mother's insecurities I wish parents understand how much damage it actually gives their kids. My mom also felt like the ugly sibling and she projected it to me hard. I bleached my skin at 11, couldn't go out without looking "presentable" and picked every little thing in my face and body. I ended up picking apart my looks ever since I could remember. Funny because I was considered a pretty kid but I had to always be the prettiest because my mom wasn't and my face was her pride. I never felt pretty, I ended up with a very bad case of facial dysphoria. I would cry looking at the mirror and pick the little things about myself. My mom now regrets how much damage she's done with my self esteem she tries to compliment my face as much as she can unlike before where she would only see flaws but the damage is already done. I hope parents are aware with how much damage they cause if they act like this because you're actually giving your kids a exponential worse self esteem than you already have because of how much you projected yours to them and it will forever scar them for the rest of their lives.
Your comment is very sad to read. However it sounds like you have good self insight which will assist healing. Perhaps see a psychologist for some cognitive behaviour therapy where they teach you coping strategies and positive self thought. Despite the negative experiences you have endured your writing indicates that you are a gentle and kind person. Good luck.
That's so true. I was an ugly teen growing up. I had what most people say a glow up. After my 20s. But i did struggle with body weight. Always ended up depressed and crying for not being able to wear certain dresses and clothes. Now that I am 32 and look back i had a healthy weight. Infact what most people would call ideal. But i was always insecure because of how my parents always thought I should be a little more skinny, a little more tall, a little more fair, and more beautiful. I should be using products etc etc.
When I got into college people would compliment me, guys would line up but in my head they were mocking me. Like it was some kind of a joke that I am not getting and they will go back to their friends and laugh behind my back. I barely made friends. Finally the people I ended up with were great. The guy I started dating pulled me out of my insecurities and helped me with my confidence. I was an excellent student but always so underconfident that I would never set my expectations high because of how my parents would act if I fail.
I thank my friends for being there and helping me out and making me the kind of person I am today.
But then I got married to a man who would just point out at your appearances. Ridicule people with dark skin. And is too over in his head for being fair and handsome (his heart is so ugly, the face is unable to makeup for it). Thankfully I am over that shit. And don't let it get to my head anymore. Thankfully I have good friends
I don't know whether its the artist or human in me, but I think people with monolids are beautiful. It adds a beautiful depth to someone's eyes and face. Gorgeous. This is so incredibly sad to see.
This is very disturbing. Narcissistic mothers should not have children at all. It's absolutely sad and shocking 😲
This is one of the most important videos you’ve ever done. It was infuriating and heartbreaking to watch , and is a subject that hits close to home because I had a mother who was similar to the one featured.
It’s obvious these adults have deep childhood trauma from the rejection they received or felt as children. They really want to “spare” their children of any pain they had to endure. It makes me so sad for both the parents and their children because they obviously carry some deep emotional scars. 😢 Listening to the stories of what they experienced as kids made me empathize with why they feel so strongly about plastic surgery.
Mm, Japan should really work on their sexism and lookism issues, hearing what the mom said about girls, that all that matters is their looks and looks only.
Many other countries should work on this too.
I cry because this are so pretty people with beautiful and cute eyes and they say there are ugly wtf. How can it be normal that everyone should look the same
You can really tell from the first one that her mother has been influencing her daughter so much. The way she answered the questions so maturely really shows how children will believe anything.
It’s so heartbreaking how these beauty standards are driving ridiculously young kids to such extreme plastic surgeries.
The thing with these beauty trends is that they keep changing, and bodies are not a trend.
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly.
We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
The beauty standards in many Asian countries are really intense. I'm a Western woman and have lived in Japan and Thailand and the pressure to look a certain way is completely overwhelming even if you know you're logically never going to be able to fit in.
Every part of society reinforces these standards- kids bully others for not fitting them, adults make targeted comments- both strangers and close friends or family, colleagues and bosses, adverts, TV, magazines, fashion brands, clothing stores, makeup companies, plastic surgery clinics, billboards, online forums and comments, news, movies, music videos.... it's an intense and inescapable pressure pushing you to change in whatever way you can in order to look 'better'.
In Japan I'd frequently see diets, pills, low or zero calories snacks, exercise regimes and supplements targeted at women who were already at a low weight or underweight to make them even thinner. Stories like "I was 50kg and now I'm 43kg". Walk into any beauty or drug store and find the majority of beauty products marketed as 'whitening'. Female facial features considered attractive are extremely specific- double eyelids, big round eyes, high nose bridge, thin but somewhat protruding chin, 'doll like' full bow shaped lips, pale even skin tone, straight full eyebrows, V-shaped jaw.. the list goes on. It is essentially impossible for most of the population to tick every box.
As if it's not doing enough damage to target this rhetoric at adult women who end up feeling undesirable and get discriminated against and bullied due their natural features, now apparently this extends to little girls too. Absolutely heartbreaking. I can see how this mother probably grew up with chronic low self confidence due to not fitting every one of these standards and now believes her daughter's only way to be successful and feel happy is to fit the mould, attainable only through plastic surgery, beauty treatments and makeup.
Having a perfect face and body is not a guarantee that you will have a happy life. Look no further than the entertainment industry. Look no further than Hollywood. Even going back to the days of silent movies. Read the biographies of the top entertainers in Hollywood. I guarantee you that 90% of the biographies will deal with the sad and difficult lives that they have had. If they are telling the truth that is.
So sad
so terrifying and there are no like celebrities or popular persons who talk sense against all this b*sht?
I appreciate how much anger and distaste was oozing from Gary; someone who is always so zen. This is such an outrageous topic! You kept your cool more than I did.
That mom really has to get some mental treatment, its not normal. If you have huge traumas please don't have a child.
Thank you Dr. Gary for sharing and bringing more attention to this topic. This is messed up and should be banned. I feel deeply sorry for the children and I hope no child has to suffer this.
I agree, truly heartbreaking and infuriating stuff.
Your discomfort and anger at this is why I watch you. You have the best moral compass, and are truly out their making a difference.
You have really changed my opinion on plastic surgery. You're very open-minded and level headed.
Hearing that little girl cry just broke me…
My mom was trying to push me into doing eyelid surgery at 17… honestly I’m glad I knew she was projecting her own insecurities and philosophy of how women’s values were based on our looks. I knew I was smart, so I told myself I wouldn’t do it as a child unless I wanted to as an adult later in life. I ended up spending a lot of my life just changing trends / looks with makeup (because it was fun and impermanent), and eventually when I began living on my own, I felt that I liked my eyes, that they were rare these days, and they can actually be kind of pretty too. I ended up getting the eyelid surgery as a grown woman after a decade of embracing it. Although my mom asked why I didn’t just get it when she told me to when I was 17, I’m glad I experiences a time when I learned to appreciate my own natural eyes, and saw that people found me attractive too. It was only as I started aging after some prolonged stress that it started drooping and making me look tired and mad. While I love how my procedure turned out, I’m happy I saved it for much much later when I had my own financial means to do so, and was old enough to make this decision for myself.
Japan has major issues when it comes to beauty standards and sexism. How a woman/man should be, how they treat little girls and boys etc. It's one of the major reasons I don't live there and would never have kids there. I was as surprised when I found this Vice video as well. I was in shock for a few weeks. I'm glad to find your reaction on this video, I hope it gets all the attention it needs and more similar content to appear online so people can start having a conversation about it back home. Thank you.
Super crazy and disturbing. I knew this was common in Korea but didn't know it occurred in Japan too, but I guess Koreans and Japanese have similar features. I have a Vietnamese/Chinese friend who married a Korean and had one daughter, and I remember when she was about 7yrs old my friend telling me that her mother-in-law told her daughter something like "You'd look prettier with a double eyelid". So sad.
Obviously these women need therapy so it stops being passed on from generation to generation. Sad that their thinking is not to stop this by doing the opposite to their children what their parents did to them but just continue the same treatment onto their own child. "sigh".
Btw, good to see your eyebrows are growing back Dr Linkov! :)
Underage is illegal in korea
It's illegal in Korea plus, they don't do that much that procedure now...there's a lot of people that are against that beauty standard, and that's what other countries wanna us to believe that korean people are crazy about surgery but look at them seriously and look at the Americans or Europeans with those with lips big bbl looking like aliens.
This is not common in South Korea. It's a misconception that South Korea is plastic surgery-obsessed. South Korea has incredibly high plastic surgery tourism, so the inflated numbers are coming from foreigners (other Asians and non-Asians) who get plastic surgery there. The average Korean doesn't look like a K-pop star. lol. But it is true that Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans do prefer having double eyelids over monolids, because those who have double eyelids naturally have always been seen as more beautiful since they have bigger, rounder eyes.
私は日本人ですが、この人は
精神病んでるとしか思えません。
私は有名人が整形したのに興味があってこのチャンネルを観ていましたが、私自身は整形したいと思わないです。
日本人の多くは私と同じ様な考えだと思います。
ましてや子供にこの様な事をさせるのは普通に児童虐待で逮捕されるレベルだと思います。
@@Jjangbunbun it is legal for minors to get plastic surgery in Korea if they get the parents permission. Why you are saying it is illegal?
Thank you for bringing up this matter. I did not know it existed.
This girl is so pretty.. her mother is insane.. mothers can traumatise children in many sadly ways.. my mother told me that my breast was too big and even if I’m 42 years old I look at it in a negative way.. I’m conscious that it’s totally stupid but this trauma is still there, in the irrational part of my mind
It's so abusive. That little person had no chance at a healthy life
It's just like foot binding. Absolutely brutal. I agree this should not be allowed, and I appreciate the way that you address the situation.
This history of foot binding is actually far more akin to going en points for ballet , yet society finds this normal or even beautiful . It’s interesting how things change and some things don’t
These Asian habits are truly backwards, countries of extremes. Taiwan seems to not be so affected by this, their culture seems the strongest.
@@baby.nay. foot binding had absolutely nothing to do with ballet!
Looking back now I think that all teenagers are extremely Faultfinding with their looks. I don’t know what they see in the mirror when they look at themselves but they are not seeing a clear picture. I had platinum blonde hair and big blue eyes as a teenager. But when I looked in the mirror God only knows what I saw but I didn’t like it. That’s all I remember.
I think the kitchen knife thing was the mom reaction to how the daughter was calling herself ugly. Like, 'if you think you're so ugly I'm sorry I gave birth to you,' and the mother pointed the knife at herself, like she would end herself for putting the daughter through the pain of existence. That's why the daughter says she didn't realize until then how much her self hate was hurting her mother.
My facial structure and eyes actually changed significantly overtime and naturally. I used to have puffier eyes without a noticeable double eyelid, and my eyes miraculously lost fat around the crease and my double eyelids became much more visible at the age of 20. TWENTY! My face also leaned down significantly around age 22, to the point of it even looking like I went through buccal fat removal. But sometimes people’s faces just change for no reason. I hope everyone who sees this message gives their face a chance to fully mature before diving into any surgery. 🙏
!!!!!
As the mother of a mixed race daughter (im white, my husband filipino) it's sad to see that this mother is so focused on her daughters looks. I feel it is my duty as a parent to help my kids not only be confident in their looks but also teach them that they have more to offer than looks.
I'm only 5 minutes in and this is uncomfortable... how could a mother do that to their 9 year old child? Also, loving how disapproving Gary is!! That head shake at @5:19 is all of us
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly.
We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
Yah. She gave her the genes of her daughter and yet here she is making her daughter feel uncomfortable and brainwashing her.
Isn't Being of different seed beautiful . The starting of plastic surgery is corrupt . But to help accident victims and strange maladies heck yeah . But the darkness reigns in many areas to attack our little ones. Keep spiritual strength is a learning lesson . I can now imagine 50-80 years back what was done to put down the woman and children then.
Kids are so impressionable, especially when the opinion is coming from a parent. When I was 12 my parent suggested I get liposuction to enhance my chin-throat angle. My neck naturally slopes down from my chin, but I never considered it a defect until it was suggested as one, and now decades later I still dislike it the most out of my physical attributes.
My brother had ear-tuck surgery when he was around 12. He was a natural physical comedian and always scored top roles in school plays, but kids ridiculed him endlessly for his ears that stood out from his head. My parents were worried that he would be harassed his whole life, but after the surgery he became really reserved. He's now 40 and wishes they would have waited until he was old enough to give him a chance to love his ears the way they were. He's left wondering what his life would have been like if he had kept them.
Whether a child undergoes cosmetic surgery or is suggested surgery, it effects them emotionally their whole lives. That's what we saw with the women in the video, childhood trauma of being held to an unattainable beauty standard when they were still children, and then they begin the cycle again with their own daughters. Surgery is physically and emotionally traumatic, for anyone, and children don't need to be subject to it for cosmetic purposes.
My mom used to critique and criticize other women . We would watch the miss American pageant and she would point out the ones with side saddles that she referred to as pones. Even at 92 she and my sister discuss celebrities that have nice skin , are aging well etc. I just sit there sickened by it.
What's even more concerning is how we are training children at such a young age that the features they are born with are undesirable and should be changed to look like someone else. It's a toxic trait that will live and haunt these children well into their adult years. This time it's eyelid, next is lips, next is ears - It never stops. We should help children (and everyone, really) grasp that the features they are born with are enough and are beautifully crafted just for them.
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly.
We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
Tbh they will go through that no matter the age. People will always point out if they're ugly
To clarify, the hostess's mother didn't regret having had her b/c of her look.
The hostess wanted plastic surgery and ask for it and mom said no. But I think the hostess was insistant and explain how bad her face made her feel. Mom didn't want her daughter to get surgery and probably felt guilty since it was her genetic.
It eventually escalated to mom saying, "I'm sorry for giving you a face you don't like and make you feel like you like you have to have plastic surgery to feel beautiful," out of guilt and the desire to stop her daughter from undergoing the knife.
I don't reject plastic surgery 100%, but I am against plastic surgery for young children who are not fully grown yet.
Everyone has their own form of beauty, and I think it's strange that society itself doesn't respect each person's individuality in the first place.
The sound of a young child crying, which I heard rather quickly after opening the video, pierced my heart deeply💔
As a fellow Japanese, I want this kind of sadness to end.
I was very surprised when I found out that overseas people don't care about single or double eyelids.Recently, some mothers give their babies a massage to be a double eyelid. Being told about your appearance by your closest person greatly influences your self affirmation afterwards
I was very surprised double eyelids are a beauty standard I had to google it to get what that is😅 I think monolids are beautiful
This is horrifying. She's basically calling her child "ugly" right in front of her. Does she really think her daughter will forget all that when she gets older? Memories of childhood trauma are twice as likely to be remembered. She will grow up with painful memories of people including her own mother calling her "ugly" and the pain and fear she endured during her operation.
low self esteem is the root of a lot of evil in this world
Wow! I am so shocked and appalled at the attitude of these parents, and Japanese society that they think this way about girls and women. I can't believe cosmetic surgery on children is allowed in Japan and frankly it is truly shameful. I think natural Japanese features are really beautiful and it's sad they don't appreciate their lovely features.
This is skewed beauty standard is shared amongst all corners of the world, but mostly the developing world. Im africans and there it is very common that people bleach their skin to get a lighter skin tone, or str8 their curly hair. Damn shame that we yearn for standards and forget was make us all unique in our own way.
Rest assured this is not encouraged in Japanese society. In reality, we are very conservative and do not appreciate this kind of procedure. Many girls, although, when they reach the teen ages start using EYE PETIT, kind of a thin bandaid as it is easy, cheap, and reversible. Then when they fully grow up, they talk to their moms if they want to have plastic surgery, and normally, the mother would say they shouldn't injure the precious body they were given by the parents. But if the girl insists, the mother would concede because after all, it is her own body. But reluctantly.
We also do not get tattoos or ear piercing.
@@_akiangelKylie Jenner had her first plastic surgery in 2012, when she was 15.
Call the authorities 🤷♂😅
She encourages teens directly or indirectly to follow her steps, by showing off the amount of money, and fame and success that she earned.
And she also encourages teens to use heavy make up.
Of course she does. She sells them.
In Japan, girls in middle school or high school are forbidden to wear make up, ear piercing, even hair dying.
During those years, they are very busy with extracurricular activities called BUKATSU, like physical activities, or cultural activities and of course they have to study hard for the school's exams as well as for the university entrance exams.
They clean up their classrooms and have a modest and simple and very appropriate school life.
The majority don't even have romantic partners, and those who do, are called RIAJUU meaning "fulfilled in real life".
Normal average Japanese girls start wearing make up when they start college.
We have a healthy and simple lifestyle and values, based in respect and modesty.
At least as a whole.
Of course no society is homogeneous, the same way not every teen in the US is like Kylie.
Makes sense?
@@_akiangel If you're seeing 13 years old having plastic surgery, ask them if they were forced to do it by their mother.
Because I don't see them and if there is one, I guess they chose to do that themselves and they had a very hard time trying to convince their parents.
But people are not scandalized by teens having light plastic surgeries by their own choice.
They are scandalized that a 9 year old did that.
And you yourself wrote that the youngest example you are "seeing" is 13 yo.
@@_akiangel Then you should know that 大久保is a KOREAN TOWN within Tokyo.
I didn’t know about トー横界隈 and of course it’s very problematic.
It’s still not normal here nor the average teen Japanese life style.
Far from it.
That is just another example of propaganda to demoralize Japan.
You pick the worst in other nations and bring it to the spot light.
Personally, when I go to another country and I see wrong behavior, I think it’s not for me to criticize or try to correct it.
I keep thoughts to myself, be discreet and talk moderately out of respect of the nation that showed grace enough to accept me to roam freely in their country.
Specially when my own country has those unsolved problems too.
You have the best attitude about these things. I’m with you about turning kids into models or acting. So many that were young actors grow to have miserable lives. Filled with drugs, in and out of rehab, and eventually suicide. It’s not good for them. And cosmetic surgery, ridiculous!