Hey everyone! Many of you either have been or are currently in a spiritually abusive environment as it relates to church or at the hands of another spiritual leader. I pray that this video will expose some of the spiritual abuse that’s going on so that you can identify it and have the courage to challenge it and remove yourself from it.
Sadly what I've noticed as of recently? So many of us are relying on sermons and preachers and ministers on RUclips to get fed with the word of God as great and awesome as they are, and believe me? I've grown so much by watching your videos. It doesn't compare to that individual one on one time with the lord and being in his word
His Faithful "leaders" point others to Him. John 2 : 1-11 The first "sign" to those away that He Is AND the first modeling for those in Him of stewarding well His Graced Gospel--not to mention the Covenantal and eschatological imports. Only one knows that He is the Answer. She points them to Him. He tells us it's not because she's His mother that He acts. He speaks. They listen and obey. His Will is manifest. Their lack eradicated. His ways are not our ways. The foolishness of God is far greater than the wisdom of man. He uses the weak (considered as such but by our estimation) to humble the proud. And as The Good Father, He delights in giving His children Good gifts--even The Best! He who is Perfect, True, and Faithful provides all for all, always. Through Holy Spirit's provision of this passage, Jesus tells us how we should walk in the ministry of preaching. Point to Him, and to Him alone. May He only continue to bless you and to keep you, Allen, to your abundant life in Him, to the deliverance of His, and all to His glory alone, my brother. I thank you for all of your wonderful content that you've obviously worked so faithfully and diligently to produce and publish here on RUclips. And I thank Him for you this day (and many), and ask these Good and great things of Him for and through you. His Best, always.
Another form of abuse in churches is accusing people of having demons when they don't. This causes fear and harm in people. I had a pastor come to my house and yell at my son and accuse him of having demons. When I said to him that Jesus never accused anyone of having demons, he announced to the church that I had the spirit of the anti-Christ and the spirit of Jezabell. Many other things happened to us, to much to tell. It took me years to get over what happened to us by this pastor. But God never let go of us, and believe me, I never stopped praying and I clung to Jesus the entire time. When your going through spiritual abuse, it causes harm and confusion. You don't know if their right or your right. The only thing that got me through it was to keep reading my bible and keep praying and asking Jesus to help us, to show us truth and to trust Him. He got us out of it and He got us through it! Jesus rescued us. He is so faithful!
I’m so sorry u & ur family had to go through that. Can’t imagine the shock & confusion 😢 Thank u for sharing, it’s very inspiring to see how faithful u hv been to God & how good He is by walking with u every step of the way! I pray that God will bring healing to where it’s needed, & many blessings unto u & ur family for ur courage & faithfulness 💖
Unfortunately people don't understand that the Bible doesn't teach literal "spirit of..." The lack of Biblical literacy makes it easy for people to fall for these false teachings of specific named spirits(usually demonic entities). Historically "spirit" was used to mean attitude. We're familiar with the term "mean spirited" & "in the spirit of..." yet somehow people forget this when in a religious context.
@@lynettepettitt655 That is so true! Also, there is NOT ONE EXAMPLE in scripture of a demon being cast out of a BELIEVER. If that was a thing, why didn't Paul tell the Corinthian church to simply cast the demon out of the man who was in sexual sin? Instead they were instructed to kick him out of the church. Could it be the whole "deliverance" movement was born as a response to all the lawless and rebellious in the church--an alternative to repentance and obedience to God (which is what is truly needed)? Thoughts to ponder. Have a blessed week.
All of these seem to describe bullying. One thing about bullies is that they use bullying to hide weakness and they don't like people standing up to them.
1. Fear tactics - make an example out of one, to control the rest. 2. Punish and convey that you will not be used for something you said or done they didn't like. 3. Twisting scripture to manipulate and control you to be obedient to them. Obey them that have rule over you. Rebellious if you are out of order. 4. Prey on the person's desire to manipulate them to do other things relationship 5. Control your life and create a co-dependent relationship for their advice on everything 6. Unhealthy, dedicated service and loyalty towards them, even at the expense of your own family. Spiritual abuse....The late Myles Munroe always said "If you do not know the purpose of a thing you will abuse it".
Indeed! Pray for them! (Better for such to have a millstone on them under the sea! They make merchandise of His children!) And pray for eyes and ears of discernment and understanding, like He has given us, in others who would hear them. His Best to you, Judy, now and always. 😊
It's more like 'How can you be saved and a disciple of Jesus if you're not a disciple of me and how can you be obedient to God if you're not even obedient to me' I was in such a church for years I know what I'm talking about
5 minutes in... I am in tears. I have been through this abuse. I have been a victim of this. As a member of a worship team, no less. Never had a way of organizing or communicating it before now. Blessed to be out of that situation.
Same here... I wish I had known this before. I suppose I would have been able to do something about it, or maybe at least I wouldn't have been so bitter and hurt for the past 4 years.
This is why people MUST know the scriptures for themselves and have a personal walk with Christ. Leaders may have a high calling and a big job, but that does not make them immune to sin or impervious to making mistakes. Leaders need to implement mechanisms of accountability for themselves, and foster environments where disagreements and questions can be addressed in humble and loving ways. This not only protects the people, but also protects leadership from the tyranny of the pew...
@@mrsmojet1 I totally agree that the gift of discernment would be helpful, but even just typical wisdom, discernment, and contextual study would yield great results. The exhortation from Paul to Timothy was to "study" in order to be approved and to be able to "rightly" divide the word of truth (2 Tim 2:15), so I think starting there and then seeking/praying for spiritual discernment and revelation as well would be awesome...
You hit the nail on the head. I left a church like this. Unfortunately too many people left the church not to return because of these behaviors. Believers need to read and study the word for themselves asking god for discernment and understanding. Thats the only way a believer can recognize the foolishness.
Amen! Knowing the word of God for yourself is crucial! Too many Christians are depending on their pastors or spiritual leaders to teach them the word! They are just there for guidance but they cannot substitute your study time in the word of God!❤️
It sucks big time. I was quite naive at one time in my life, but luckily God has pulled me towards the real answer to my questions. The pain is worth it at the end.
I was spiritually abused when I first became a Christian. I joined a cult in my highschool and I was suicidal and actually I also became an abuser my self but praise God I over came.
“Do as I say, or god will destroy you.” Is one of the most damaging and abusive teachings that someone can push into your life. It fosters nothing but fear, panic and mistrust.
Videos like this hit too hard. I used to be part of a mega-church, and eventually was one of the assistant pastors in a branch here in South Africa.. I was subject to a lot of these things, and I also did them too, thinking it was the right way.. But once I read more and saw I was in a prosperity church.. My challenging the status-quo was seen as rebellion..and they started manipulating people against me, and even spreading rumours about me, so that when I inevitably stepped down.. It was easy to make people think it was cos of some issues in my life, rather than the truth. It remains one of the hardest things I went through, and to this day 6/7yrs later, I still regret being a part of that and taking so long to leave.. It really messed me up, cos at one point I thought pastoring was what I ws gonna do with my life. That all disappeared very quickly and painfully afterwards. I saw too much. It's obviously part of my testimony, and straight after leaving I followed a more reformed church.. But wow, the negative impact it had on me really makes me sad.
My wife and I decided to move back to our home state after I retire from the military and we let our pastors know. They said that our move is not the will of God, and one of them laid out on the floor as if they were seeking God and told us we should not move. My wife and I have our home in our home state. Also, we have a shared custody of our son (my step son) that required us to travel 2 hours every week while I was stationed in this other state. The pastors knew this but still determined that moving was not “God’s Will.” My wife and I did move.
Be confident in the Lord. HE will guide you by His HS who is in you, as a born again believer. Find a based bible church with brothers and sisters and gather, and commune ....Praise God. From a Pentecostal guy. French native speaker. A bro in the Lord.
Praise God. Glad you all knew to trust the Lord and not in man. Laid out on the floor? What kind of theatrics...? My SIL said my dad and step-mom are like this. As a matter of fact, I've been ostracized from them for speaking the truth. It's crazy. She said that she thinks their "ministry" is a cult. My step-mom, apparently, is above correction. Anyone who disagrees is perceived as challenging the voice of God (she's allegedly the prophetess, and my dad's the pastor). My dad, who was an absent father, has now abandoned me again. It doesn't hurt as badly as I thought it would. It's quite disappointing, tho. Again, very glad for you and your wife (and your son and family). Blessings.
One of the most simple things Jesus taught and actually performed was the washing of the feet. Serve and not be served. No servant or slave is lower or higher than anyone.
I cried listening to this. This is exactly what has happened to myself and another sister in Christ with our pastor. I needed to hear this to make it clear that it is truly abuse. We were publicly humiliated for voicing a concern in our small group with the book Jesus Always by Sara Young. It came from a place of genuine concern but we were publicly and angrily shamed and humiliated in front of our church and said that we were trying to sow seeds of division in the church. He never once came to us and spoke with us. He went directly to the pulpit and humiliated us, defended the book, and said that if we didn’t like it we could “shut up about it”. We are not sure where to go from here but my husband and I are praying and seeking God’s wisdom.
I now spend hundreds of dollars every month seeking therapy for the effects of spiritual abuse. My story is too long and painful to share but I'm just glad I came out from under that leadership and far away from being manipulated and gaslighted by the pastor. I pray for him and my dear friends in that church who remain in a lull and would not dare hold the pastor accountable. Thanks for addressing a topic which gives me much needed reassurance that I'm not overreacting or making up things in my head about what really happened to me.
❤💖 my heart goes out to you sis. I pray that you find the peace and healing you deserve. Because that's not OK and it never was OK. When i was struggling to get away from abusive fellowships i stumbled upon this song: meet your maker by john mark pantana. It helped to put into words some of what i was going through and what i always wanted Jesus not religion. Much love to you and by the way no you aren't overreacting
@@babyramses5066 thanks so much for the love and encouragement. The song is indeed timely. Walking away from my church was heartbreaking but I got sick mentally and physically from staying too long hoping that things would get better, but it just wasn't. I'll continue to trust and obey the Lord and rest in His peace.
Preach, brother! This is a very real problem in the church today. If you have experienced this, just remember that people may do you wrong, but our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ never will. Amen!
This was really helpful, Allen. I was one of those who have been humiliated by an abusive pastor infront of other members. It was painful. Thanks for this.
Attended a church just like this. They would expose people openly, he would say he is the Shepard over us so we have to listen to him, and he micromanaged everything. I used to play organ at the church and not only did I not know how to play but he would get upset with me I'm front of everyone. Truly traumatizing. I used to look up to this bishop so much. Decided to leave during pandemic when he was playing favoritism and trying to force people to come and then get mad if someone would rather watch service online. So my husband and I left but we remained friends on social media until I saw in his service he called himself rebuking a child and that was the straw for me. Officially blocked no contact. He is a spiritual abuser. And I know people who want to leave but feel like they can't because of him and they think God will be upset with them. Please pray for this so called "Church". I know people there who have a genuine heart, just being misled and abused. I was one of them and the sad thing is you don't know how bad it is until you are gone. Smh.
Get up in the middle of service and interrupt him with READING THE BIBLE OUT LOUD. ESPECIALLY SOMETHING THAT COVERS WHAT HE IS DOING WRONG. OR WHEN HE IS NOT FOLLOWING THE WORD OF GOD. AND MAKE SURE ITS LIVESTREAMED BY SOMEONE! you also might read the requirements for choosing a deacon. Its in the new testament.
Mr. Parr, my daughter experienced everything you mentioned in her former church. When she finally had the courage to leave and met with the pastor so she could leave peacefully she was threatened. After she left the leadership and other members deleted her off their Facebook, Instagram etc. She felt ostracized and forsaken by people who she thought were her friends/family. These people were her only friends because she was expected to do church related activities every day of the week. She broke off contact with 'outsiders'. She left over a year ago and is still hurting. She has lost confidence in pastors and church in general. Church hurt is the worse. This pastor has even been sexually involved with members and had them swear to God that they will not reveal it. He uses the fear of God to manipulate. My son in law, who was also a member is still suffering and wants to control him. Please pray for them: Joelle and Enoc. Thank you! I am really blessed by your ministry! May the Lord preserve you!
I love everything that you've said with one exception. Your last advice about someone considering if they should challenge the leader personally. In a special circumstance that might work. But in the majority of instances, this is opening that individual up for much more intense and severe spiritual abuse. Shunning, being publicly rebuked, having your character thrashed from the pulpit. Jesus said to the disciples, "When they persecute you in one city, flee to the next." Spiritual abuse is a form of persecution. It is dangerous and the person should first consider fleeing when they encounter it (just like you did with that one pastor who tried to make a pass at you).
Yeah, I would literally NEVER advise directly challenging an abusive person under ANY circumstances. You might find out the hard way that you’re dealing with a personality disordered individual - after the damage is already done. I appreciate your comment.
When I was a teenager I got sucked into a cult. There is so much deception out there that we have to make sure we know the word of God so we can test the spirits. The list you gave sounds so familiar to what the cult was doing. Because of what I went through I can now spot a false teacher immediately after listening to him. I can also offer help to those who are trying to get out of spiritual abuse.
This made me realize something important... I need to give my pastor a big hug, because he’s taught my congestion the word of God, encourages us to ‘not take his word for it’ and read it himself, and has just been a good neighbor. And thank you too Allen. I’ve been watching you for years now (:
I've always hated that in churches! Calling someone "rebellious" or "out of order" just over a disagreement or small things like that! Still, it's difficult because their are wolves that do come into the church to cause trouble. So many pastors use that as an excuse to abuse congregants.
I recently told my grandmother about how I’ve been spiritually abused and she just dismissed everything I explained 😔 it honestly hurt so bad ... The Leader told me I’m mentally unstable because I didn’t want to be apart of the ministry and she basically agreed with him
When people say they don’t like Christians it’s mostly coming from a situation they were a part of. Most people don’t like something for no reason. I always wonder what they’ve been through.
Thank you Sir for confirmation. I was a minister at a church. The pastor was aware that I had medical appointments that the doctor set up for me so I wouldn't have to miss any time at work. I told the pastor about this. He then scheduled ministerial training on the evenings I was to receive medical treatment. I felt it was more important to receive medical care. Somehow other minister's and church members found out about what I was doing. I was constantly being harassed about not going to the meetings. I even received calls and had to tell people to stop calling me. There were other, similar, issues that I discussed with this pastor and each time, after our discussions, he would create something that he would want me to change my schedule for. I finally left that church. Now I am assisting another pastor and church. Ministry doors are opening now that were never opened before. Leaving that Spiritually Abusive Pastor was a Blessing to myself and my family.
Amen! God rescued me out of Mormonism (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) in 2013. The religious abuse is invisible for those in it, but looking back from the outside in, the spiritual abuse is so clear!!! That’s why I started a RUclips channel ministry to try and reach as many of them and others who are unsaved. 🙏🏻✝️❤️
Those that call themselves Christians but don’t use the Bible are the most abusive. It’s sad that people grow up to only know what they are taught. I’m going to look for your RUclips channel.
@@mastiffmom2592 agreed. They claim they know the Bible but they don’t. If they studied it, like I did, they would see the God and Jesus they follow are false. I hope my channel will be helpful to any who find it. 🙏🏻
@@BreakingItDownwithBrendaLee What was it that brought you out? I've spoken to a few mormons and its so hard showing them scriptures and pointing them to the truth.
@@jesusislord9707 a very long story. I did a few videos on my journey out of Mormonism on my channel. I believe I was saved at a very young age (3) and as I grew, started noticing that the Jesus I knew from my childhood wasn’t the one I grew up learning about in the Mormon church. It wasn’t until I started engaging in apologetics to deepen my faith that I started seeing all the truth behind the lies. I knew what it would cost to leave because I’d seen others shunned and ostracized who’d left in my youth. It was hard to face the consequences but I couldn’t continue in the lies. I took up my cross and followed Jesus and it cost me everything... my entire family and my young children. I pray every day for their eyes to be opened and my children and I to be restored. 🙏🏻✝️
@@BreakingItDownwithBrendaLee I can't imagine how tough that was. But we are here for you and of course Jesus will never leave nor forsake you. The mormons I've met are some of the nicest people I've ever encounter, but one thing that I've notice is they never really speak as if the love Jesus. Its like Jesus is just a character to them. An encounter with Jesus changes your entire life, they are missing the Holy Spirit who changes from the inside out. I will check out your channel. God bless, you have an entire family of believers whom is too many to numbers. The cost to follow Christ is oh so worth it.
I have experienced this and left the apostolic church I was part of. I was there for 4 years and had done many things in ministry there. However, I knew something was not right. I would pray about it and fast about what I needed to do. Eventually I was lead to stop going to that particular hutch and discovered pastors online such as David Platt and Matt Chandler. I felt guilty and shame for not being in church and believed I was going to hell because I didn’t call myself Apostolic anymore. However, The Holy Spirit revealed Himself to me that day in my room. I had wrote a letter to the pastor expressing my concerns and informed him he was spiritually abusing many members who were not part of his family. I sent the letter to him and received a call after about 2 weeks or so and it was the pastor. Now mind you this is not the first time I have talked to him about these things, he shut me down and told me after I said God laid it on my heart to help the young women there at the church, who really looked up to me, even his granddaughter, that was a long story in and of itself. Anyways, on the call he told me I was in sin, and God would never use me and that he ripped my letter and didn’t finish reading it. He started to be little me and I told him I was hanging up, and he said I didn’t have the power to because he was going to do it first.... All that to say this, God removed me from that place were I received a lot of my wounds. He protected me and so much more. I am still dealing with some church hurt but it’s not as bad as it was before. I know it pushed me to study more, pray more, fast more, and help others who have experienced this and who might be lost.
Sadly, that church has lost so many members even before COVID and its mainly family and others who have a position there. This pastor has been told many times by many different people of his abuse even before I got there.
These are sad and disturbing facts. Not going to lie, out of all videos, this one was the hardest to sit through and hear. It’s disgusting how there are church leaders that do these things. One thing I’ll add is demonizing people with different political beliefs. Personally I don’t think politics should be talked about in church or used as a reference. I heard someone say wild things about people who hold different political beliefs. What really matters is God’s word and spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I can't tell you how well hidden this is in my last congregation and emotionally hard it is to admit to myself, despite the evidence. Praise Jesus that it is so coherently laid out.
I've been to a pentecostal church where they taught that I would be under a curse if I didn't give 10% every month from my paycheck and was robbing God. My family was struggling financially but they kept giving 10%. That church kept hiring guest speakers from other churches. All charismatic quacks, pretty sure some were INC members too. Waste of our tithes and they totally didn't understand tithing plus said men needed to be feminine to feel the holy spirit and if we didn't speak tongues we never had the holy spirit. It's hard to find a strong minister of truth today.
He is lying to you Dom! GOD loves a cheerful giver ! 2nd Corinthians 9:7 KJV. And Jesus died for all your sins, past, present and future. Hebrews 10:12 KJV. Romans 10:9 KJV should explain easily that once you do this, then you are forever saved! Not do this plus speak in tongues and you shall be saved! Hope that helps you out. GOD Bless 😇
@@benji6866 Hebrews 10:12 But this man, after he had offered *one* sacrifice for sins *for ever* , sat down on the right hand of God; I think that's how they conclude past present and future sin.
Yep! My husband was a missionary being supported financially by a non denominational church. They wanted him to keep a ledger on all his time and money spent. If anyone gave the leader money to bless my husband, they didn't give it to him. When he didn't want to do the ledger anymore the pastor screamed at him in a restaurant saying he saw rebellion in his eyes. So much rebellion but they didn't pull him out of the mission field! He's been wary of churches ever since. We go to an evangelical Presbyterian church now but he sort of stays on the outskirts of it, not wanting to get too involved. He served as a missionary for 4 years and the abuse damaged his trust.
I was a deacon at the church. I felt God was guiding me to start some discipleship classes. The pastor approved them as long as he didn't have to do anything. I hold my first two classes and he explodes, claiming I was trying to steal "his" church. The problem was that the people who attended ran to him telling him how much they learned. That they hadn't learned that much in YEARS. So I became an instrument of Satan, trying to cause a church split with twisted scriptures and the spirit of rebellion. My wife and I prayed for about two months before I resigned as deacon and we both rescinded our memberships. Now everyone is being told that we had difficulties in our personal lives and we turned our backs away from God. No one is permitted to speak to us or they might risk falling for our lies and turning away from God, too.
I’m so glad you made this video. What happens in a Spiritual Abusive church is that the members stay out of fear and it becomes very difficult to break that stronghold and becomes a cult like situation. I know... I’ve been their. Everyone rejects the challenger to portray loyalty to The Pastor. They end up serving The Pastor instead of God. No one grows and matures in the Lord. The Spirit of the Lord doesn’t even enter the building. It’s sad 😞 ...these are people that even though they’ve rejected me, I love them. I pray for their souls.
I am currently watching this right now, and all I can say is that from the congregation where I came from, it checked all the marks. And because I and my family made a stand to separate ourselves from the congregation and the leadership, we received a lot of fake news circulating around the congregation in order to destroy my reputation and in order to cover up the issues of that leader. I am also a pastor and wanted only to help the church fulfill its mission, but when I discovered some anomalies and questioned the leadership, I was marked as an enemy, a rebel, and a backslider. It's so sad. Currently, I am pastoring a small fellowship of families who also went out from that abusive leadership.
I’m surprised that guilting people into giving offerings wasn’t on there. I once went to a church where the pastor literally said people were in debt because they didn’t tithe and even had an acronym for DEBT: Doing Everything But Tithing 🤦🏽♂️
Of course this can happen with any gender; but I experienced this the MOST when I was under female pastors 🤦🏽♀️ I thank God for drawing me from those manipulative ministries and showing me the truth about how God views "female pastors"
Yes God puts the onus on men to lead not women. It's not sexist it's the God ordained order no matter how some churches dislike that. God makes it clear men are only to preach the Word in churches. Leading is just as hard as following.
Thank you for this video! My family and I left our NAR church last year. Since then, our former pastor has been using us as examples of "apostasy" in his sermons. It's hurtful, but I think the goal is to intimidate the rest of the congregation and convince them not to question his teachings.
I'm so glad someone took the leap first to address spiritual abuse in the church. I have had personal experiences that would peel the paint of the walls. Keep speaking on this subject because it is happening to thousands of black men. They just don't speak out about it.
I seriously appreciate your transparency, Elder! We need to hear leaders personal stories so we'll know that our situation isn't as unique as we THINK it is! For every story I have, I'm sure another brother or sister as the same one. Its refreshing to hear a fellow Saint overcome the same obstacles! God bless y'all ❤️
I came to find out the hard way. Over 55% of spiritual leaders are covert narcissists. One of the points mentioned here that really hit hard home is the fact that the spiritual leader I once had required all decisions from our lives to come from them. You were always in the wrong If you tried to make a decision without them or they didn’t approve of. The Bible talks about wolves in sheep’s clothing, saints this is very real. Please understand salvation is personal as the word mentioned, let’s take it seriously, remove ourselves from abuse without feeling guilty or condemned and study the word fervently.
My pastor stopped speaking to me when I sat down and talked to him when I was experiencing devastating financially difficult times, and told him that my tithe checks so often drew my account negative. This caused overdraft charges further digging me into a hole. I said I knew he said per the scripture in Malachi that when we tithe God will open the windows of heaven, but that was not a reality in my life. I was going to have to cut back some for a while. (He personally monitors everyone's giving) A year or so later I was able to go back to tithing and even had it automatically deducted on payday. He never opened up to me even after I was back to tithing since I offended and did not obey originally. I am no longer at that church thanks to you, Mike Winger, Justin Peters, Chris Roseboro, Steven Kozar, and others who opened my eyes in apologetics to see all of the false teachings. God bless you, brother!
I was under a " touch not my anointed " preacher. He also preached law over grace. Honestly one of the meanest miserable souls I ever met. He nearly has destroyed my life by his manipulation and threats. Misrepresenting God is scary because it will be answered for on judgement day. He has hurt and deceived many people and is a miserable sad pathetic old man now.
Yes a lot of young people are under this type of thing in the churches , people with authority, can be very mean spirited, that's not Christ like.I personally refuse to go to any church where I am brow beat, or talked down to.Older Christians don't put up with that, it's bad enough on the job where you may have to put up with a bit of nastyness, but not in church.
I have experienced this. I want to offer my gifts and services and to be discouraged by browbeating. It breaks my heart to have so much love to be hurt. I know many of my people are harmed by this abuse by those they considered spiritual parents.
The terminology I’ve heard you use for the church I was beginning to be apart of was “hyper charismatic.” Met Jesus in 2014 when I almost lost my son to a drown accident. Had ran back and forth so many times until about 2 months ago. Have struggled with lots of sin but to keep this short the bondage of drug addiction was strong over me and I almost lost my marriage and it shook me and I had true repentance and was ready to come home to stay, never to be in & out ever again. Well the church I was apart of has a saying “come as you are you’ll never leave the same” and I did just that. If God loved me he was going to love me through getting high & it’s there saying even helped break off the guilt I was feeling for doing it. I wasn’t trying to be apart of the church I was just trying to return to Jesus and be filled with his love and the Holy Spirit but I was hearing remarks & sermons where being preached toward me. This went beyond paranoia like I just KNEW something was off about this. Basically I wasn’t living right by what they perceived as right and should’ve been delivered from all this bondage and I kept playing with sin when in fact I was just finally letting the urge to get high fall off of me naturally through Jesus instead of forcing the process & faking Christianity yet again. Leaving that church was the best decision I’ve made so far and I’m 6 weeks clean 6/10 & have gotten my marriage back & start a brand new well paying job the 21st!! Attending a first baptist church where God is already showing me the motions of what he’s fixing to use me to do through that church!! Right now just attending sundays enjoying the worship and messages!! God is so good!! Yo Allen Jesus is my savior but you are close 2nd my friend!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙏🏻🤙🏻
Spot on on all points. We left a church that was all of this. The culture of total obedience and keep your mouth shut was very deep and strong. Heaven help those that spoke up. Good video. I hope this reaches many who are still stuck in such a church. Bless you brother Allen.
WOW...u hit the nail on the head... I left a church after 10 years...because of elders wives(who are also the associate pastors and head deacons) and others LIES AND GOSSIP then the whole flock believed their lies.. I dissagreed with alot of things said, practiced and done....then was cut off leadership and not informed.... I first visited w /those women then I went to the pastor and was then blamed for it all..... I cried and left....my heart is broken... 💔💔💔😓😪
This is right on ! True man of God right here. Coming from someone that has been emotionally abused it’s good to no this. The devil likes to manipulate in church to.
I’m currently in this situation right now and I’m sorry I won’t let it move me. Every message is about me and it’s fine. I’ll continue to keep and hold my peace.
I left my church when my pastor told the story of his daughter's birth. Apparently there was an African American couple giving birth in the same room as his wife. When he saw his baby he thought: Oh Lord! She is so ugly! She's so red! But when he saw the African American couple's baby he thought: Well, at least my baby isn't that ugly. I was the only black person at that church and EVERYONE turned my way and started laughing. I was so humiliated. I left that church and didn't look back.
what in the actual world! My brother had similar experience when the pastor was comparing ppl to toast and called him burnt toast. He was just a kid and was super embarrassed.
As a dedicated but emotionally vulnerable Christian teenager, I experienced spiritual abuse from a youth pastor. Though I had never heard the term until more than 15 years later when I returned to Christ, after the experience scarred me & I left the faith for New Age garbage for most of my 20's. Thankfully during counseling with a wonderful new pastor, this concept was brought to my attention & the healing process began. But because I was more concerned in the immediate with denouncing & healing from my harmful occult/New Age beliefs, I didn't really truly address the painful foundation the abuse laid or how it was truly affecting me. Now, even more years later, my husband pointed out that maybe this is part of some harmful thought patterns I'm experiencing while I work through health issues & try to maintain my faith. Which led me to look into it more, & to find this video. I'm weeping as I realize how sick this all was, & how I have been led astray & missed the true nature of God for so long, as well as how hard I am on myself because some of what he told me, I still believe deep down, even though I left it all so long ago. In a nutshell: He was charismatic, intense & almost cult-leader-like, & at the time many of my friends did whatever he said. It wasn't sexual, I don't think. But supremely narcissistic & messed up; he matched many of the points/signs you mentioned. I recall vividly him coming up behind me at age 16 while I knelt at the altar praying, telling me that God told him I was 'falling behind the others'. I also recall multiple instances of him saying 'God told me to tell you...*insert wisdom/advice here*. And the biggest hit of all...kicking me off worship team which was my passion, because I didn't join his 'Warrior's Call' club/ministry, which required people to sacrifice things that didn't even make sense, but were things that he felt they should give up. I got so anxious & confused, I broke one day, full of fear & anxiety, which my father correctly pointed out was not of God. He also correctly pointed out that HE was my dad, not this pastor. I left the church & all my friends (who had turned on me also at that point, always telling me how terrible I was). I joined a better church which is probably the only thing that ever kept my foundation of belief in God & brought me back to Christ much later. But the damage was done. Not just in how I viewed God, but also how I viewed men in general. I see now I have more healing to do, & forgiveness. Thank you for covering this, Alan. I appreciate many of your other videos/content but hadn't seen this before. God bless you & anyone reading, especially those who have experienced this type of abuse.
Me too. Always focus back on Jesus. No abuser is worth a follower falling away from THE WAY, THE TRUTH, THE LIFE, JESUS the CHIRST, our Lord and Savior forever amen!
Three very tough years in a ministry and every single thing you mentioned we experienced. Lots of manipulation, control and intimidation. Also throw in sexual immorality and broken marriages. Jesus wasn't the center or focus but the pastor was. We couldn't visit other churches and if we left God wasn't going to bless us because we were out of his will. Just imagine the warfare and mental anguish. Lots of people lost their way. Some just were severely broken and haven't been back to church. Thanks for this!
Thank you for bringing this to light. It’s very damaging and can destroy relationships. So many have gone through it because the enemy knows how to kill, steal and destroy.
I've been there. Of course this is when I was younger & wasn't strong enough to speak up for myself. Plus I thought that the person/persons involved were more spiritual than I was. They were closer to God & knew more than I did. Even when certain things were done or said that I knew were wrong, I just went along because they were the leaders. Slowly I was able to pull away from that toxic mess by attending service else where from time to time. Even that was criticized because I didn't ask for permission & there was always some comment or sarcastic remark about it. These were people who were somewhat foundational in my spiritual life but toward the end I ended up feeling really bad when I was around them as opposed to before. I eventually stopped attending service there altogether. Never felt better. Sometimes you have to get away from it & mature to see just what you were a part of & how bad it was for you.
Thank you for addressing it. I especially appreciate the last point where the pastor wants to control your life, being like the Holy Spirit for you. That's why its so important that we have a personal relationship with the Lord and listen or look to what His Holy Spirit has to say.
Experienced all of what you mentioned for years and years. It's very difficult to go out of such new religious movement (aka cult), so much manipulation, subtle twisting of scriptures, echo chamber, group think, shunning, weaponizing of loved ones against people who asks challenging questions. Cults are not just confined to physical abuse, but spiritual abuse as well!!! Thank you for spreading this information brother. A lot of people who really want to serve God are trapped in such situations, this is a great help. Share and like guys!
I felt like I was watching a plot of a tv series on Netflix. This is so serious because I can hear unbelievers saying now, that this is the reason why they don't want to go to church
I've experienced this... heard comments like "everyone whose camera is off during zoom isn't paying attention." to me this was said... "you're steady doing something during assembly." I just said, "not steady." he told me how to lord myself over someone he didnt think was in Christ yet. he told me to ask questions like what did they learn and what they've been reading in the word... he told me I was the mature one and I need to act like it with her. he also mentioned to me that if I dont stop doing something, I will end up holding the group back. someone misread read or misperceived what I said to them and believed I hadn't forgiven them and convinced me that I hadn't forgiven them (spirit of lies). after she said her piece and I said foolishness to agree to the lies, he told me I was weak, that Im the same person I was before I was born again, and that he thinks the reason why I find it hard to talk to him is because I hate the truth... I wasn't comfortable opening up to him so when he'd ask me what's wrong and I would say idk (if something was actually wrong, I wouldn't have the head knowledge and my heart doesn't feel safe around him so I wouldn't be connected to it, and so one time he mentioned to me how he hates liars.... he complains a lot. I asked him and another person if they believe we deserve God's love. they said no, and mentioned deserving hell and death and then automatically assumed I didnt believe God loves me and his only way to prove that God love me in his assumption (I wasn't concerned about whether He loves me or not, God revealed His love to me and I understand its unfailing), was saying roughly, "He wrote a whole love letter." as though to guilt me ... and not comfort me. I was told all that had to happen to that I could get back to my first love. I have challenged him a couple times - but I still went accused at the end of the day. God revealed to me that there were ungodly spirits behind a confrontation done by him and a sister in Christ... however, I had been gaslighted so hard, my already complicated walk in getting back to my first love became harder... I started seeing 666 and upside down crosses everywhere after that conversation... I had this idea in my mind that I had to give up.... that it was over for me. but thank God I didnt. I separated myself from them, with intent to come back (sort of), but the longer I was away, the more I saw how bad of a situation I had been in with them. I wanted to leave the group chat (it was a small assembly, we met over zoom unless we were visiting each other's states), but God said not yet. I wanted to block them, but in my heart, I knew I had to keep an open space in case they needed me for anything. eventually, my dad passed away (September 25 this year) and things got weirder. first he had everyone leave the group chat. I thought it was because he realized something cult like had developed but it turned out he had secretly been planning on creating another group. I found out that he created another group because I found out that him and a couple people blocked me on everything. this was days after my dad passed away. I got condolences and then they dipped. hoenstly, I have no idea what was said about me for them get someone else to block me, but im tempted to find out. however, all the gaslighting has made me doubt myself in crazy ways... still to this day. I feel like this is all my fault. oh and after I guided my heart to stop seeing upside down crosses... I saw a cross in everything. but when I saw the crosses, I would hear, "I hate God." the accuser also accused of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit in the conversation. I never went back to that group situation again. theres more but I hav said enough.
Thank you for speaking on this brother! I was involved in a religious cult as well and many of the tactics you speak about were used, including sexual. What I'm learning is that Christ is my head and covering. I can go to Him directly and get my needs met. While I'm thankful there are true pastors out there, the word reminds us to be "wise as serpents yet harmless as doves"🕊 much love to all who've been victimized in this way...May our gracious Lord comfort and guide you into all truth🙏🏽
Very good well done, you have explained for the last 30 yrs of my life on an hourly basis. I did tell them off, but they get worst and worst. Thank you God for this.
1st, Thank you for sharing this! Truly it could be an entire series. Going thru this pandemic has really opened my eyes about all of these levels of abuse. Even before the pandemic when I realized tithing was used at the church I attended as a way of telling people they were cursed for not doing it and God challenged me to give as the church was instructed to in the Bible, I was treated like an enemy. We are sheep with the Holy Spirit leading us into all truth and should not be taken advantage of to fit into an organization's agenda.
People dominating each other is a huge issue. Especially when it is done in the name of love and servitude. Satans BS can get really tricky and people actually believe that they are doing the right thing. We have to be careful and wash our own hearts to not fall into this trap. Lets be humble and continue to learn from the Lord.
I never expected to be hurt so bad by a pastor :( he was so loving and kind acting but when he thought i didnt agree on one thing he lost his mind. Totally cut me off from the church and threatning to make people not be around me. It was instant . No love at all just his ego. Im thankful im out of that. All he talked about was money anyways.. thank you for the vidoe .
I experienced spiritual abuse as the member of the worship team in a mega church. Everything you've mentioned is spot on. I'd also add gaslighting to the list, as well as soliciting money and using emotional/spiritual blackmail to do so. Making people on benefits or single parents feel like second class citizens for not being able to give as much, then the Pastor turning up in a designer suit. Also, being disrespectful of people's time and energy, always demanding more no matter how much people give. I could go on and on...
Perfect timing! I was just wondering about this when questioning small, non-denominational churches that use the “spiritual fatherhood/motherhood”. Never sat right with me when Jesus said “call no man father...”.
I’d like to add that I have actually experienced this a few times now as a Christian for 20 years. The thing that keeps it from being exposed is that they are constantly calling out gossip, divisiveness, and jezebel spirit. None of us wants to be that. The thing is that it’s not gossip if you are speaking truth and seeking accountability to God Almighty. Duh. Dividing and separating from sin and abuse is a good thing. Duh. I’m a woman and if I speak up I’m sure any abuser will accuse me of having a jezebel spirit. I will still speak up for God’s sake. I am totally content with not church hopping because I won’t commit but following the Holy Spirit’s leading about where to get rooted and serve and be fine with leaving when I’m lead to.
"Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21 Trust in God alone. Hopefully this inspired you today. God loves you through it all! God bless.
All of this is spot on. I’d love to see you make a video about the correlation between pastors and narcissism - understanding these concepts would have saved me from years of hurt but I was gaslit by the pastors and was easy to manipulate as I fully trusted them
Thank you Allen Par,all these things have happened to me over a couple of years and I was struggling to find a way to vocalise them as I'm naturally an introvert and my church has been the only place I've ever fellowshiped.I always thought I was the issue and was just seeing things where they weren't.I thank God for using you to clarify what has been on my mind for a long period of time.
This so good. If you think you are in a abusive church please do your do diligence and if you find you are being abused GET AWAY GO RUN GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE NOR FORSAKE YOU. THIS is so right on.
I had been suffering for years with agoraphobia and I was terrified to leave my place. Finally got to the point where I could go to church but I sat up on the top level away from the whole congregation at first. And the pastor told me that I had to sit down with everybody else and I explained to him about my situation and I'm just trying to come out from agoraphobia. He said oh nonsense take a leap of faith stop listening to your feelings and start listening to God. Either you sit down with the rest of the congregation or don't come back to my church. Then he went on to say, the Bible says without faith it is impossible to please God, if you are not healed it is because you don't have faith to receive your healing. Therefore you are not pleasing to God. Yeah I stopped going to that church and any other church after that. My agoraphobia tripled
Thanks so much for this. I was abused as a young and naive 18 year old on a one year volunteer programme in a very charismatic organisation here in the UK. It was over thirty years ago now and the effects have been absolutely devastating. I'm currently trying to get justice and compensation for what happened, but it's a slow and painful process.
“[17] I urge you, brothers and sisters, to keep your eyes on those who cause dissensions and create obstacles or introduce temptations [for others] to commit sin, [acting in ways] contrary to the doctrine which you have learned. Turn away from them. [18] For such people do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites and base desires. By smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting [the innocent and the naive].” Romans 16:17-18 “[10] After a first and second warning reject a divisive man [who promotes heresy and causes dissension-ban him from your fellowship and have nothing more to do with him], [11] well aware that such a person is twisted and is sinning; he is convicted and self-condemned [and is gratified by causing confusion among believers].” Titus 3:10-11
This is the exact scripture a twisted congregation uses against a new church member. Who sees how a church uses God's Word to live in a form of forced legalism. Not each members independent relationship in faith with the Lord. Who allows grace and loving freedom to change and grow. Not forced obediance and shamming. When you call them out and leave. The church uses this very verse to justify lies. So they stay in sin. And they spread lies to all the local churches. The Lord is so good outwhen you come out of these deceptive lies. He will confirm things, and move you out. Things you never knew. Like ten years before. Half the church split and started a new church. And left those leading people wrong. People follow blindly when it comes to family staying in a church. Their blind of their own actions of creating co-dependency to their leadership. Then shame and ostracize you if you don't. Leaders and decons should be rotated. So this never happens.
Yup. I got demoted from a church volunteer position because I questioned the leaders proposition that we treat our women's group like a business and charge people to be part of it. If you couldn't pay, you spent more time doing childcare so paying members could participate. Uh, what? One week later stripped of my title and told I couldn't participate in leadership any more because of some private business I had asked for prayer about. My friend got the boot, too, because she stuck up for me in the meeting. We left the church a couple months later for other leadership reasons. The friend stayed, but is one of my nearest and dearest almost twenty years later. The women's group, however, died on the vine the next year and they haven't had a successful one there since. Thanks for confirming for me that that is what happened.
I just came inside from a conversation with my dear neighbor who is taking a step back from her faith because of this. She's now questioning that Christ was even the Messiah because of how people have spiritually abused her. My faithful Christian brothers and sisters, please pray for her and her husband. Both their churches used and abused them. Pray they find Jesus. Pray for them. And pray for me that I may be the good Christian example in her life.
This is exactly what am going through in my local church. And it’s makes me have no joy going to church or serving in the church anymore. I really need Gods help in this situation because it’s eating me up.
Thank you for posting this Allen. I am in tears. I felt led to get on RUclips this morning, which is odd considering it's not something seemingly spiritual. Your video was the first thing to pop up on my feed. I felt uneasy as soon as I saw the title. I cried within the first few minutes of watching. I didn't want to admit the experience of this, I wanted to pretend like it wasn't real. I have been struggling with so much bitterness and unforgiveness due to different types of hurt in my past. They have been a hindrance to my walk with God and in imitating Christlikeness. I believe the Lord is leading me to forgive such people because the Lord already forgave me. Therefore, I am without excuse. I share these things simply because I believe someone else needs to hear this. God is good and merciful and kind and just. Let us not forget how much he has forgiven us. It doesn't mean that our hurts don't exist, it doesn't mean that we didn't suffer, it doesn't mean that we hide them away and pretend like they didn't happen It means that we bring them to God and offer them at his feet and Ask HIM to Bring them to use for Our good and His Glory. May the Lord Richly Bless You Brother Allen for Your Work & May the Lord Richly Bless Anyone who Needs to Hear this.
The church breeds narcissists and narcissist enablers. It's sadly an environment where this type of abuse either thrives or continues from broken and or religious households. Love is patient. Love is kind. It doesn't dishonor others.
Yes. Most of this....I do have to remove myself. I have forgiven many times and I still forgive now but I don't have to stay. I won't be returning. God doesn't want me to be abused. I know we are not perfect but I have save myself and get out of this situation.
I've had every single one of those things happen to me. That's why I don't go to church anymore. But if you ask most Christians everything is all my fault and I should go back to church so I can endure further abuse.
Sandy, I went through all of this, too, but I found a wonderful church where none of that is happening. Thank God! Hoping you can find a healthy church and enjoy the worship and fellowship God intends for his people.
@@sharonleary6711 I'm glad you found a good church. In 50 years I found one that was really good. When my husband died I moved away from the area. Where I'm living now, so far, I haven't found a good church to go to.
Sandy rI'm in the same position. Been to many churches and finally gave up searching. I stay home read my Bible and do simple chu devotions daily. Have never even been contacted by the church I supported for years unknowingly. Several have left for the reasons of being made to serve that church without question.
@@deangerber1797 Yes, I understand. I have a group of people that read "Our Daily Bread" and pray together every morning. Then I lead a Bible Study every Wednesday. If you wish to join either of these groups, let me know. Church just isn't for me right now.
Attended a church where any question to the Pastor's wife was absolutely not allowed! One time, I dared to disagree with Scripture something the Pastor's wife said to a young convert in a women's study...I was sternly rebuked publically and was told that Satan would not interrupt again as I had! I was also labeled "a rebel against spiritual authority", and for a time shunned by her. And because I didn't choose to be close girlfriends with a few of her fave congregants, I was gossiped about and then handed a book by her called, "Why am I afraid to love." Which was simply not true, my life was full of friends at church, just not the ones she felt I should be. My husband and I served in that church tirelessly in many areas of ministry for 14 years, when finally the control got completely out of control and we left. Afterwards we were called "chaff" in the next sermon. It was awful and I had to literally had to do a start-over in my heart to repeat my resolve and commitment to walk with Christ for my own sense of spiritual well-being.
Yes OMG I experienced this a year ago and it almost ruined my life and my marriage!!! This Nondenominational Church Pastor in East Texas came to my business and started yelling and screaming at me because I had stopped going to church due the Covid pandemic. He was brutal! He told my husband that he needed to beat me and he needed to destroy all my electronics. He was so abusive and my husband did not see it for the longest time. When I kept praying and was ready to leave this relationship my husbands eyes were finally opened and he saw what was going on! It almost ruined my life! He encouraged my husband to divorce me and go live with him and his family.
Great video. I have experienced this first hand. When the leaders had a problem with me They tried to turn other members against me. You could never question anything it was their way or no way. Some of these organizations are cults
WoW... this one hit it right on the nail head. I had to walk away from a spiritual leader because the Holy Spirit was giving me a red flag signal from someone I knew for years when I found out he belong to a cult and claimed conversion to Christianity however when I didn't want to meet with him anymore he said in an angry voice you will meet with me I Am in leadership!!! Well that was the sign I needed to walk away from him I don't hate him I Pray for him he decided to pass rumors around church and friends I was close to stopped talking to me and checking up on me but God said Pray for them and do not harbor your heart but love them through Jesus Amen God Bless you brother stay safe and Prayers and Blessings to you and your family Amen 🙏
Hey everyone! Many of you either have been or are currently in a spiritually abusive environment as it relates to church or at the hands of another spiritual leader. I pray that this video will expose some of the spiritual abuse that’s going on so that you can identify it and have the courage to challenge it and remove yourself from it.
Sadly what I've noticed as of recently? So many of us are relying on sermons and preachers and ministers on RUclips to get fed with the word of God as great and awesome as they are, and believe me? I've grown so much by watching your videos. It doesn't compare to that individual one on one time with the lord and being in his word
This sounds just like the ICOC
Brother can you make a video talking about if a true born again believer can be demonized? Thank you God bless
What if its your wife Allen....unto the kids. I'm no saint, but we need help.
His Faithful "leaders" point others to Him.
John 2 : 1-11
The first "sign" to those away that He Is AND the first modeling for those in Him of stewarding well His Graced Gospel--not to mention the Covenantal and eschatological imports.
Only one knows that He is the Answer. She points them to Him. He tells us it's not because she's His mother that He acts. He speaks. They listen and obey. His Will is manifest. Their lack eradicated.
His ways are not our ways. The foolishness of God is far greater than the wisdom of man. He uses the weak (considered as such but by our estimation) to humble the proud. And as The Good Father, He delights in giving His children Good gifts--even The Best!
He who is Perfect, True, and Faithful provides all for all, always.
Through Holy Spirit's provision of this passage, Jesus tells us how we should walk in the ministry of preaching. Point to Him, and to Him alone.
May He only continue to bless you and to keep you, Allen, to your abundant life in Him, to the deliverance of His, and all to His glory alone, my brother. I thank you for all of your wonderful content that you've obviously worked so faithfully and diligently to produce and publish here on RUclips. And I thank Him for you this day (and many), and ask these Good and great things of Him for and through you. His Best, always.
Another form of abuse in churches is accusing people of having demons when they don't. This causes fear and harm in people. I had a pastor come to my house and yell at my son and accuse him of having demons. When I said to him that Jesus never accused anyone of having demons, he announced to the church that I had the spirit of the anti-Christ and the spirit of Jezabell. Many other things happened to us, to much to tell. It took me years to get over what happened to us by this pastor. But God never let go of us, and believe me, I never stopped praying and I clung to Jesus the entire time. When your going through spiritual abuse, it causes harm and confusion. You don't know if their right or your right. The only thing that got me through it was to keep reading my bible and keep praying and asking Jesus to help us, to show us truth and to trust Him. He got us out of it and He got us through it! Jesus rescued us. He is so faithful!
I’m so sorry u & ur family had to go through that. Can’t imagine the shock & confusion 😢
Thank u for sharing, it’s very inspiring to see how faithful u hv been to God & how good He is by walking with u every step of the way!
I pray that God will bring healing to where it’s needed, & many blessings unto u & ur family for ur courage & faithfulness 💖
Unfortunately people don't understand that the Bible doesn't teach literal "spirit of..." The lack of Biblical literacy makes it easy for people to fall for these false teachings of specific named spirits(usually demonic entities).
Historically "spirit" was used to mean attitude. We're familiar with the term "mean spirited" & "in the spirit of..." yet somehow people forget this when in a religious context.
@@veronicachow Thank you for your prayers Veronica 💓 Blessings to you
Amen! God is always faithful.
@@lynettepettitt655 That is so true! Also, there is NOT ONE EXAMPLE in scripture of a demon being cast out of a BELIEVER. If that was a thing, why didn't Paul tell the Corinthian church to simply cast the demon out of the man who was in sexual sin? Instead they were instructed to kick him out of the church.
Could it be the whole "deliverance" movement was born as a response to all the lawless and rebellious in the church--an alternative to repentance and obedience to God (which is what is truly needed)? Thoughts to ponder.
Have a blessed week.
All of these seem to describe bullying. One thing about bullies is that they use bullying to hide weakness and they don't like people standing up to them.
I’ve attended church all my life and I’ve never seen or heard anything like what this gentleman is discussing in this video.
@@thebibletrain8297 Me too. We're both blessed. Praise God!
Yassss i experienced this and saw others being bullied.
That’s exactly what it is!!
Jeremy Beavon, you're 100% spot on! Bullies indeed.
1. Fear tactics - make an example out of one, to control the rest.
2. Punish and convey that you will not be used for something you said or done they didn't like.
3. Twisting scripture to manipulate and control you to be obedient to them. Obey them that have rule over you. Rebellious if you are out of order.
4. Prey on the person's desire to manipulate them to do other things relationship
5. Control your life and create a co-dependent relationship for their advice on everything
6. Unhealthy, dedicated service and loyalty towards them, even at the expense of your own family.
Spiritual abuse....The late Myles Munroe always said "If you do not know the purpose of a thing you will abuse it".
Sounds like my boyfriend
"Yes, just send me all your money and you too can be saved " those preachers make me sick.
I hate that too. I'd honestly give that "preacher" Monopoly money then call them out.
@@kennysfdg471 😂😂👍
Indeed! Pray for them! (Better for such to have a millstone on them under the sea! They make merchandise of His children!) And pray for eyes and ears of discernment and understanding, like He has given us, in others who would hear them.
His Best to you, Judy, now and always. 😊
It's more like 'How can you be saved and a disciple of Jesus if you're not a disciple of me and how can you be obedient to God if you're not even obedient to me'
I was in such a church for years I know what I'm talking about
Sadly people love money even in the church
5 minutes in... I am in tears.
I have been through this abuse. I have been a victim of this. As a member of a worship team, no less. Never had a way of organizing or communicating it before now.
Blessed to be out of that situation.
Me too
Sorry, you guys went through that.
OH BUT GOD!
Behaviour don't lie
God bless you. Amen
Same here... I wish I had known this before. I suppose I would have been able to do something about it, or maybe at least I wouldn't have been so bitter and hurt for the past 4 years.
This is why people MUST know the scriptures for themselves and have a personal walk with Christ. Leaders may have a high calling and a big job, but that does not make them immune to sin or impervious to making mistakes. Leaders need to implement mechanisms of accountability for themselves, and foster environments where disagreements and questions can be addressed in humble and loving ways. This not only protects the people, but also protects leadership from the tyranny of the pew...
I'll be honest you can know the word but knowing how to apply with wisdom is part of the gift of discernment. That is lacking in every church
@@mrsmojet1 I totally agree that the gift of discernment would be helpful, but even just typical wisdom, discernment, and contextual study would yield great results. The exhortation from Paul to Timothy was to "study" in order to be approved and to be able to "rightly" divide the word of truth (2 Tim 2:15), so I think starting there and then seeking/praying for spiritual discernment and revelation as well would be awesome...
Amen 🤗
Yes, yes, yes, Amen, amen Absolutely.
so true we must have a relationship with Jesus and be led by the Holy Spirit. respect the leader be led by the spirit
You hit the nail on the head. I left a church like this. Unfortunately too many people left the church not to return because of these behaviors. Believers need to read and study the word for themselves asking god for discernment and understanding. Thats the only way a believer can recognize the foolishness.
I totally agree with you!!
Amen! Knowing the word of God for yourself is crucial! Too many Christians are depending on their pastors or spiritual leaders to teach them the word! They are just there for guidance but they cannot substitute your study time in the word of God!❤️
Walk so close to God that abuse is easily recognized... and stop sinning, obey Jesus
It pains me to say that I know what you're talking about. Thank you for boldly encouraging people to see with their eyes open!
Same girl same smh🤦🏾♀️
Me too!
It sucks big time. I was quite naive at one time in my life, but luckily God has pulled me towards the real answer to my questions. The pain is worth it at the end.
I was spiritually abused when I first became a Christian. I joined a cult in my highschool and I was suicidal and actually I also became an abuser my self but praise God I over came.
“Do as I say, or god will destroy you.” Is one of the most damaging and abusive teachings that someone can push into your life. It fosters nothing but fear, panic and mistrust.
Definitely I didn’t even know what was spiritual abuse
That's sinister!!!!! 😢
Videos like this hit too hard. I used to be part of a mega-church, and eventually was one of the assistant pastors in a branch here in South Africa.. I was subject to a lot of these things, and I also did them too, thinking it was the right way.. But once I read more and saw I was in a prosperity church.. My challenging the status-quo was seen as rebellion..and they started manipulating people against me, and even spreading rumours about me, so that when I inevitably stepped down.. It was easy to make people think it was cos of some issues in my life, rather than the truth.
It remains one of the hardest things I went through, and to this day 6/7yrs later, I still regret being a part of that and taking so long to leave.. It really messed me up, cos at one point I thought pastoring was what I ws gonna do with my life. That all disappeared very quickly and painfully afterwards. I saw too much. It's obviously part of my testimony, and straight after leaving I followed a more reformed church.. But wow, the negative impact it had on me really makes me sad.
I understand this very well too
I am so sorry you went through this. I’m so glad God brought u out of that. Stay strong brother ❤️
I'm from here in SA, can you please tell me which church is that because I think that I might be in a similar situation.
@@Mohapi_Tau Get out now.
Im in the process of getting out of my church,i found myself in a prosperity gospel church
My wife and I decided to move back to our home state after I retire from the military and we let our pastors know. They said that our move is not the will of God, and one of them laid out on the floor as if they were seeking God and told us we should not move.
My wife and I have our home in our home state. Also, we have a shared custody of our son (my step son) that required us to travel 2 hours every week while I was stationed in this other state. The pastors knew this but still determined that moving was not “God’s Will.” My wife and I did move.
Be confident in the Lord. HE will guide you by His HS who is in you, as a born again believer. Find a based bible church with brothers and sisters and gather, and commune ....Praise God. From a Pentecostal guy. French native speaker. A bro in the Lord.
The pastors don’t know the will of God, they will miss your money though.
@@janicelloyd3215 ain’t that the truth,blind leading the blind!!!!!! Watch out for that ditch🤨
Praise God. Glad you all knew to trust the Lord and not in man. Laid out on the floor? What kind of theatrics...? My SIL said my dad and step-mom are like this. As a matter of fact, I've been ostracized from them for speaking the truth. It's crazy. She said that she thinks their "ministry" is a cult. My step-mom, apparently, is above correction. Anyone who disagrees is perceived as challenging the voice of God (she's allegedly the prophetess, and my dad's the pastor). My dad, who was an absent father, has now abandoned me again. It doesn't hurt as badly as I thought it would. It's quite disappointing, tho.
Again, very glad for you and your wife (and your son and family). Blessings.
Totally christian witchcraft
Labelling people as "divisive" is another fave
I have been labelled with that of my pastor and I'm stunned... Glad I walked away from that church but still mending the hurt.
One of the most simple things Jesus taught and actually performed was the washing of the feet. Serve and not be served. No servant or slave is lower or higher than anyone.
🙌🙌 serve I what I do
@jparkerwillis very true friend
I cried listening to this. This is exactly what has happened to myself and another sister in Christ with our pastor. I needed to hear this to make it clear that it is truly abuse. We were publicly humiliated for voicing a concern in our small group with the book Jesus Always by Sara Young. It came from a place of genuine concern but we were publicly and angrily shamed and humiliated in front of our church and said that we were trying to sow seeds of division in the church. He never once came to us and spoke with us. He went directly to the pulpit and humiliated us, defended the book, and said that if we didn’t like it we could “shut up about it”. We are not sure where to go from here but my husband and I are praying and seeking God’s wisdom.
I now spend hundreds of dollars every month seeking therapy for the effects of spiritual abuse. My story is too long and painful to share but I'm just glad I came out from under that leadership and far away from being manipulated and gaslighted by the pastor. I pray for him and my dear friends in that church who remain in a lull and would not dare hold the pastor accountable. Thanks for addressing a topic which gives me much needed reassurance that I'm not overreacting or making up things in my head about what really happened to me.
❤💖 my heart goes out to you sis. I pray that you find the peace and healing you deserve. Because that's not OK and it never was OK. When i was struggling to get away from abusive fellowships i stumbled upon this song: meet your maker by john mark pantana. It helped to put into words some of what i was going through and what i always wanted Jesus not religion. Much love to you and by the way no you aren't overreacting
@@babyramses5066 thanks so much for the love and encouragement. The song is indeed timely. Walking away from my church was heartbreaking but I got sick mentally and physically from staying too long hoping that things would get better, but it just wasn't. I'll continue to trust and obey the Lord and rest in His peace.
Your comment describes me too 🙂. Took me a while to know I was t overreacting
Hope you do heal from it !!! I can relate too! Best wishes 😢!!!!!
I experienced most of these points at a church I attended for all most 10 years. God brought me out.
Preach, brother! This is a very real problem in the church today. If you have experienced this, just remember that people may do you wrong, but our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ never will. Amen!
This was really helpful, Allen. I was one of those who have been humiliated by an abusive pastor infront of other members. It was painful. Thanks for this.
Hey Allen just wanted to say thanks! Your videos started my return to Christianity!
Amen. Praise The Lord!
Oh boy ....I could write a book on the physiological abuse I have experienced at certain churches
Attended a church just like this. They would expose people openly, he would say he is the Shepard over us so we have to listen to him, and he micromanaged everything. I used to play organ at the church and not only did I not know how to play but he would get upset with me I'm front of everyone. Truly traumatizing. I used to look up to this bishop so much. Decided to leave during pandemic when he was playing favoritism and trying to force people to come and then get mad if someone would rather watch service online. So my husband and I left but we remained friends on social media until I saw in his service he called himself rebuking a child and that was the straw for me. Officially blocked no contact. He is a spiritual abuser. And I know people who want to leave but feel like they can't because of him and they think God will be upset with them. Please pray for this so called "Church". I know people there who have a genuine heart, just being misled and abused. I was one of them and the sad thing is you don't know how bad it is until you are gone. Smh.
Wow Sad story. I am glad you left.
Get up in the middle of service and interrupt him with READING THE BIBLE OUT LOUD. ESPECIALLY SOMETHING THAT COVERS WHAT HE IS DOING WRONG. OR WHEN HE IS NOT FOLLOWING THE WORD OF GOD. AND MAKE SURE ITS LIVESTREAMED BY SOMEONE! you also might read the requirements for choosing a deacon. Its in the new testament.
The dislikes are the prideful leaders that manipulate their close relationships.
Mr. Parr, my daughter experienced everything you mentioned in her former church. When she finally had the courage to leave and met with the pastor so she could leave peacefully she was threatened. After she left the leadership and other members deleted her off their Facebook, Instagram etc. She felt ostracized and forsaken by people who she thought were her friends/family. These people were her only friends because she was expected to do church related activities every day of the week. She broke off contact with 'outsiders'. She left over a year ago and is still hurting. She has lost confidence in pastors and church in general. Church hurt is the worse. This pastor has even been sexually involved with members and had them swear to God that they will not reveal it. He uses the fear of God to manipulate. My son in law, who was also a member is still suffering and wants to control him. Please pray for them: Joelle and Enoc. Thank you!
I am really blessed by your ministry! May the Lord preserve you!
Bless you brother for touching on an important topic in the church.
Oh my GOODNESS! You look so much like my Sister! 😮
@@godschildyes hahahahahahaha
I love everything that you've said with one exception. Your last advice about someone considering if they should challenge the leader personally. In a special circumstance that might work. But in the majority of instances, this is opening that individual up for much more intense and severe spiritual abuse. Shunning, being publicly rebuked, having your character thrashed from the pulpit. Jesus said to the disciples, "When they persecute you in one city, flee to the next." Spiritual abuse is a form of persecution. It is dangerous and the person should first consider fleeing when they encounter it (just like you did with that one pastor who tried to make a pass at you).
Yeah, I would literally NEVER advise directly challenging an abusive person under ANY circumstances. You might find out the hard way that you’re dealing with a personality disordered individual - after the damage is already done. I appreciate your comment.
When I was a teenager I got sucked into a cult. There is so much deception out there that we have to make sure we know the word of God so we can test the spirits. The list you gave sounds so familiar to what the cult was doing. Because of what I went through I can now spot a false teacher immediately after listening to him. I can also offer help to those who are trying to get out of spiritual abuse.
This made me realize something important... I need to give my pastor a big hug, because he’s taught my congestion the word of God, encourages us to ‘not take his word for it’ and read it himself, and has just been a good neighbor. And thank you too Allen. I’ve been watching you for years now (:
I've always hated that in churches! Calling someone "rebellious" or "out of order" just over a disagreement or small things like that!
Still, it's difficult because their are wolves that do come into the church to cause trouble. So many pastors use that as an excuse to abuse congregants.
I recently told my grandmother about how I’ve been spiritually abused and she just dismissed everything I explained 😔 it honestly hurt so bad ... The Leader told me I’m mentally unstable because I didn’t want to be apart of the ministry and she basically agreed with him
I'm sorry. Hope you are doing okay
Look up child our God yahweh about to bless you keep strong and keep the faith I'm with you sister may God bless
Check out for narcissism. This seems narcissistic.
So many people deal with this. I believe the results of is where the term church hurt come from. This was right on time!!
When people say they don’t like Christians it’s mostly coming from a situation they were a part of. Most people don’t like something for no reason. I always wonder what they’ve been through.
Or why many people flat out leave the church in the first place.
Thank you Sir for confirmation. I was a minister at a church. The pastor was aware that I had medical appointments that the doctor set up for me so I wouldn't have to miss any time at work. I told the pastor about this. He then scheduled ministerial training on the evenings I was to receive medical treatment. I felt it was more important to receive medical care. Somehow other minister's and church members found out about what I was doing. I was constantly being harassed about not going to the meetings. I even received calls and had to tell people to stop calling me. There were other, similar, issues that I discussed with this pastor and each time, after our discussions, he would create something that he would want me to change my schedule for. I finally left that church. Now I am assisting another pastor and church. Ministry doors are opening now that were never opened before. Leaving that Spiritually Abusive Pastor was a Blessing to myself and my family.
Amen! God rescued me out of Mormonism (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) in 2013. The religious abuse is invisible for those in it, but looking back from the outside in, the spiritual abuse is so clear!!! That’s why I started a RUclips channel ministry to try and reach as many of them and others who are unsaved. 🙏🏻✝️❤️
Those that call themselves Christians but don’t use the Bible are the most abusive. It’s sad that people grow up to only know what they are taught. I’m going to look for your RUclips channel.
@@mastiffmom2592 agreed. They claim they know the Bible but they don’t. If they studied it, like I did, they would see the God and Jesus they follow are false. I hope my channel will be helpful to any who find it. 🙏🏻
@@BreakingItDownwithBrendaLee What was it that brought you out? I've spoken to a few mormons and its so hard showing them scriptures and pointing them to the truth.
@@jesusislord9707 a very long story. I did a few videos on my journey out of Mormonism on my channel. I believe I was saved at a very young age (3) and as I grew, started noticing that the Jesus I knew from my childhood wasn’t the one I grew up learning about in the Mormon church. It wasn’t until I started engaging in apologetics to deepen my faith that I started seeing all the truth behind the lies. I knew what it would cost to leave because I’d seen others shunned and ostracized who’d left in my youth. It was hard to face the consequences but I couldn’t continue in the lies. I took up my cross and followed Jesus and it cost me everything... my entire family and my young children. I pray every day for their eyes to be opened and my children and I to be restored. 🙏🏻✝️
@@BreakingItDownwithBrendaLee I can't imagine how tough that was. But we are here for you and of course Jesus will never leave nor forsake you. The mormons I've met are some of the nicest people I've ever encounter, but one thing that I've notice is they never really speak as if the love Jesus. Its like Jesus is just a character to them. An encounter with Jesus changes your entire life, they are missing the Holy Spirit who changes from the inside out. I will check out your channel. God bless, you have an entire family of believers whom is too many to numbers. The cost to follow Christ is oh so worth it.
I have experienced this and left the apostolic church I was part of. I was there for 4 years and had done many things in ministry there. However, I knew something was not right. I would pray about it and fast about what I needed to do. Eventually I was lead to stop going to that particular hutch and discovered pastors online such as David Platt and Matt Chandler. I felt guilty and shame for not being in church and believed I was going to hell because I didn’t call myself Apostolic anymore. However, The Holy Spirit revealed Himself to me that day in my room. I had wrote a letter to the pastor expressing my concerns and informed him he was spiritually abusing many members who were not part of his family. I sent the letter to him and received a call after about 2 weeks or so and it was the pastor. Now mind you this is not the first time I have talked to him about these things, he shut me down and told me after I said God laid it on my heart to help the young women there at the church, who really looked up to me, even his granddaughter, that was a long story in and of itself. Anyways, on the call he told me I was in sin, and God would never use me and that he ripped my letter and didn’t finish reading it. He started to be little me and I told him I was hanging up, and he said I didn’t have the power to because he was going to do it first....
All that to say this, God removed me from that place were I received a lot of my wounds. He protected me and so much more. I am still dealing with some church hurt but it’s not as bad as it was before. I know it pushed me to study more, pray more, fast more, and help others who have experienced this and who might be lost.
Sadly, that church has lost so many members even before COVID and its mainly family and others who have a position there. This pastor has been told many times by many different people of his abuse even before I got there.
These are sad and disturbing facts. Not going to lie, out of all videos, this one was the hardest to sit through and hear. It’s disgusting how there are church leaders that do these things.
One thing I’ll add is demonizing people with different political beliefs. Personally I don’t think politics should be talked about in church or used as a reference. I heard someone say wild things about people who hold different political beliefs. What really matters is God’s word and spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Everything we stand by should align with the Word. No matter which political party is most resembles.
Understood man. So sad that I’ve seen and experienced quite a bit of this personally. Very sad.
I can't tell you how well hidden this is in my last congregation and emotionally hard it is to admit to myself, despite the evidence. Praise Jesus that it is so coherently laid out.
I've been to a pentecostal church where they taught that I would be under a curse if I didn't give 10% every month from my paycheck and was robbing God. My family was struggling financially but they kept giving 10%. That church kept hiring guest speakers from other churches. All charismatic quacks, pretty sure some were INC members too. Waste of our tithes and they totally didn't understand tithing plus said men needed to be feminine to feel the holy spirit and if we didn't speak tongues we never had the holy spirit. It's hard to find a strong minister of truth today.
He is lying to you Dom! GOD loves a cheerful giver ! 2nd Corinthians 9:7 KJV. And Jesus died for all your sins, past, present and future. Hebrews 10:12 KJV. Romans 10:9 KJV should explain easily that once you do this, then you are forever saved! Not do this plus speak in tongues and you shall be saved! Hope that helps you out. GOD Bless 😇
Don you are lieing. The bible never says for all sins past present and future. That is hersy
Yes, that tactic is very common amongst those of the Pentecostal Charismatic prosperity gospel persuasion.
Dom Hill, Stay close to JESUS. HE IS TRUTH! 🍃⚘😍😍😍
@@benji6866 Hebrews 10:12 But this man, after he had offered *one* sacrifice for sins *for ever* , sat down on the right hand of God;
I think that's how they conclude past present and future sin.
Yep! My husband was a missionary being supported financially by a non denominational church. They wanted him to keep a ledger on all his time and money spent. If anyone gave the leader money to bless my husband, they didn't give it to him. When he didn't want to do the ledger anymore the pastor screamed at him in a restaurant saying he saw rebellion in his eyes. So much rebellion but they didn't pull him out of the mission field! He's been wary of churches ever since. We go to an evangelical Presbyterian church now but he sort of stays on the outskirts of it, not wanting to get too involved. He served as a missionary for 4 years and the abuse damaged his trust.
I was a deacon at the church. I felt God was guiding me to start some discipleship classes. The pastor approved them as long as he didn't have to do anything.
I hold my first two classes and he explodes, claiming I was trying to steal "his" church. The problem was that the people who attended ran to him telling him how much they learned. That they hadn't learned that much in YEARS.
So I became an instrument of Satan, trying to cause a church split with twisted scriptures and the spirit of rebellion.
My wife and I prayed for about two months before I resigned as deacon and we both rescinded our memberships.
Now everyone is being told that we had difficulties in our personal lives and we turned our backs away from God. No one is permitted to speak to us or they might risk falling for our lies and turning away from God, too.
I’m so glad you made this video. What happens in a Spiritual Abusive church is that the members stay out of fear and it becomes very difficult to break that stronghold and becomes a cult like situation. I know... I’ve been their. Everyone rejects the challenger to portray loyalty to The Pastor. They end up serving The Pastor instead of God. No one grows and matures in the Lord. The Spirit of the Lord doesn’t even enter the building. It’s sad 😞 ...these are people that even though they’ve rejected me, I love them. I pray for their souls.
I am currently watching this right now, and all I can say is that from the congregation where I came from, it checked all the marks. And because I and my family made a stand to separate ourselves from the congregation and the leadership, we received a lot of fake news circulating around the congregation in order to destroy my reputation and in order to cover up the issues of that leader. I am also a pastor and wanted only to help the church fulfill its mission, but when I discovered some anomalies and questioned the leadership, I was marked as an enemy, a rebel, and a backslider. It's so sad. Currently, I am pastoring a small fellowship of families who also went out from that abusive leadership.
This topic needs its own podcast with q&a.
Agreed
I’m surprised that guilting people into giving offerings wasn’t on there. I once went to a church where the pastor literally said people were in debt because they didn’t tithe and even had an acronym for DEBT: Doing Everything But Tithing 🤦🏽♂️
Of course this can happen with any gender; but I experienced this the MOST when I was under female pastors 🤦🏽♀️
I thank God for drawing me from those manipulative ministries and showing me the truth about how God views "female pastors"
@7878 stew Oh wow!!!! 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Yes God puts the onus on men to lead not women. It's not sexist it's the God ordained order no matter how some churches dislike that. God makes it clear men are only to preach the Word in churches. Leading is just as hard as following.
@@lpl433 well said
@@lpl433 Amen!
Yessssss!
Bless you for bringing this to light. Spiritual abuse can happen from Parents, Guardians, Grandparents, or even people you look up to.
Thank you for this video! My family and I left our NAR church last year. Since then, our former pastor has been using us as examples of "apostasy" in his sermons. It's hurtful, but I think the goal is to intimidate the rest of the congregation and convince them not to question his teachings.
I'm so glad someone took the leap first to address spiritual abuse in the church.
I have had personal experiences that would peel the paint of the walls. Keep speaking on this subject because it is happening to thousands of black men. They just don't speak out about it.
I seriously appreciate your transparency, Elder! We need to hear leaders personal stories so we'll know that our situation isn't as unique as we THINK it is! For every story I have, I'm sure another brother or sister as the same one. Its refreshing to hear a fellow Saint overcome the same obstacles! God bless y'all ❤️
I came to find out the hard way. Over 55% of spiritual leaders are covert narcissists. One of the points mentioned here that really hit hard home is the fact that the spiritual leader I once had required all decisions from our lives to come from them. You were always in the wrong If you tried to make a decision without them or they didn’t approve of. The Bible talks about wolves in sheep’s clothing, saints this is very real. Please understand salvation is personal as the word mentioned, let’s take it seriously, remove ourselves from abuse without feeling guilty or condemned and study the word fervently.
My pastor stopped speaking to me when I sat down and talked to him when I was experiencing devastating financially difficult times, and told him that my tithe checks so often drew my account negative. This caused overdraft charges further digging me into a hole. I said I knew he said per the scripture in Malachi that when we tithe God will open the windows of heaven, but that was not a reality in my life. I was going to have to cut back some for a while. (He personally monitors everyone's giving) A year or so later I was able to go back to tithing and even had it automatically deducted on payday. He never opened up to me even after I was back to tithing since I offended and did not obey originally.
I am no longer at that church thanks to you, Mike Winger, Justin Peters, Chris Roseboro, Steven Kozar, and others who opened my eyes in apologetics to see all of the false teachings.
God bless you, brother!
I was under a " touch not my anointed " preacher. He also preached law over grace. Honestly one of the meanest miserable souls I ever met. He nearly has destroyed my life by his manipulation and threats. Misrepresenting God is scary because it will be answered for on judgement day. He has hurt and deceived many people and is a miserable sad pathetic old man now.
Yes a lot of young people are under this type of thing in the churches , people with authority, can be very mean spirited, that's not Christ like.I personally refuse to go to any church where I am brow beat, or talked down to.Older Christians don't put up with that, it's bad enough on the job where you may have to put up with a bit of nastyness, but not in church.
I’ve been going to church my entire life and I’ve never once seen or heard of this kinda thing.
I have experienced this. I want to offer my gifts and services and to be discouraged by browbeating. It breaks my heart to have so much love to be hurt. I know many of my people are harmed by this abuse by those they considered spiritual parents.
Is 18 yrs old counted as young people? Cuz allen said he was a kid when he was 19 but that age is already adult right?
The terminology I’ve heard you use for the church I was beginning to be apart of was “hyper charismatic.” Met Jesus in 2014 when I almost lost my son to a drown accident. Had ran back and forth so many times until about 2 months ago. Have struggled with lots of sin but to keep this short the bondage of drug addiction was strong over me and I almost lost my marriage and it shook me and I had true repentance and was ready to come home to stay, never to be in & out ever again. Well the church I was apart of has a saying “come as you are you’ll never leave the same” and I did just that. If God loved me he was going to love me through getting high & it’s there saying even helped break off the guilt I was feeling for doing it. I wasn’t trying to be apart of the church I was just trying to return to Jesus and be filled with his love and the Holy Spirit but I was hearing remarks & sermons where being preached toward me. This went beyond paranoia like I just KNEW something was off about this. Basically I wasn’t living right by what they perceived as right and should’ve been delivered from all this bondage and I kept playing with sin when in fact I was just finally letting the urge to get high fall off of me naturally through Jesus instead of forcing the process & faking Christianity yet again. Leaving that church was the best decision I’ve made so far and I’m 6 weeks clean 6/10 & have gotten my marriage back & start a brand new well paying job the 21st!! Attending a first baptist church where God is already showing me the motions of what he’s fixing to use me to do through that church!! Right now just attending sundays enjoying the worship and messages!! God is so good!! Yo Allen Jesus is my savior but you are close 2nd my friend!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙏🏻🤙🏻
Spot on on all points. We left a church that was all of this. The culture of total obedience and keep your mouth shut was very deep and strong. Heaven help those that spoke up. Good video. I hope this reaches many who are still stuck in such a church. Bless you brother Allen.
WOW...u hit the nail on the head...
I left a church after 10 years...because of elders wives(who are also the associate pastors and head deacons) and others LIES AND GOSSIP then the whole flock believed their lies..
I dissagreed with alot of things said,
practiced and done....then was cut off leadership and not informed....
I first visited w /those women then
I went to the pastor and was then blamed for it all.....
I cried and left....my heart is broken...
💔💔💔😓😪
This is right on ! True man of God right here. Coming from someone that has been emotionally abused it’s good to no this. The devil likes to manipulate in church to.
I’m currently in this situation right now and I’m sorry I won’t let it move me. Every message is about me and it’s fine. I’ll continue to keep and hold my peace.
I left my church when my pastor told the story of his daughter's birth.
Apparently there was an African American couple giving birth in the same room as his wife. When he saw his baby he thought: Oh Lord! She is so ugly! She's so red!
But when he saw the African American couple's baby he thought: Well, at least my baby isn't that ugly.
I was the only black person at that church and EVERYONE turned my way and started laughing. I was so humiliated. I left that church and didn't look back.
Wow! I’m sorry that happened to you.
Wow.
what in the actual world! My brother had similar experience when the pastor was comparing ppl to toast and called him burnt toast. He was just a kid and was super embarrassed.
That’s a shame. I was called out from the pulpit also. I never went back.
Well done he sounds ugly inside 🤔
As a dedicated but emotionally vulnerable Christian teenager, I experienced spiritual abuse from a youth pastor. Though I had never heard the term until more than 15 years later when I returned to Christ, after the experience scarred me & I left the faith for New Age garbage for most of my 20's. Thankfully during counseling with a wonderful new pastor, this concept was brought to my attention & the healing process began. But because I was more concerned in the immediate with denouncing & healing from my harmful occult/New Age beliefs, I didn't really truly address the painful foundation the abuse laid or how it was truly affecting me. Now, even more years later, my husband pointed out that maybe this is part of some harmful thought patterns I'm experiencing while I work through health issues & try to maintain my faith. Which led me to look into it more, & to find this video.
I'm weeping as I realize how sick this all was, & how I have been led astray & missed the true nature of God for so long, as well as how hard I am on myself because some of what he told me, I still believe deep down, even though I left it all so long ago.
In a nutshell: He was charismatic, intense & almost cult-leader-like, & at the time many of my friends did whatever he said. It wasn't sexual, I don't think. But supremely narcissistic & messed up; he matched many of the points/signs you mentioned. I recall vividly him coming up behind me at age 16 while I knelt at the altar praying, telling me that God told him I was 'falling behind the others'. I also recall multiple instances of him saying 'God told me to tell you...*insert wisdom/advice here*. And the biggest hit of all...kicking me off worship team which was my passion, because I didn't join his 'Warrior's Call' club/ministry, which required people to sacrifice things that didn't even make sense, but were things that he felt they should give up.
I got so anxious & confused, I broke one day, full of fear & anxiety, which my father correctly pointed out was not of God. He also correctly pointed out that HE was my dad, not this pastor. I left the church & all my friends (who had turned on me also at that point, always telling me how terrible I was). I joined a better church which is probably the only thing that ever kept my foundation of belief in God & brought me back to Christ much later. But the damage was done. Not just in how I viewed God, but also how I viewed men in general.
I see now I have more healing to do, & forgiveness. Thank you for covering this, Alan. I appreciate many of your other videos/content but hadn't seen this before. God bless you & anyone reading, especially those who have experienced this type of abuse.
I had a pastor that checked almost all of these boxes and it very nearly destroyed my faith
Me too. Always focus back on Jesus. No abuser is worth a follower falling away from THE WAY, THE TRUTH, THE LIFE, JESUS the CHIRST, our Lord and Savior forever amen!
Three very tough years in a ministry and every single thing you mentioned we experienced. Lots of manipulation, control and intimidation. Also throw in sexual immorality and broken marriages. Jesus wasn't the center or focus but the pastor was. We couldn't visit other churches and if we left God wasn't going to bless us because we were out of his will. Just imagine the warfare and mental anguish. Lots of people lost their way. Some just were severely broken and haven't been back to church. Thanks for this!
Thank you for bringing this to light. It’s very damaging and can destroy relationships. So many have gone through it because the enemy knows how to kill, steal and destroy.
I've been there. Of course this is when I was younger & wasn't strong enough to speak up for myself. Plus I thought that the person/persons involved were more spiritual than I was. They were closer to God & knew more than I did. Even when certain things were done or said that I knew were wrong, I just went along because they were the leaders. Slowly I was able to pull away from that toxic mess by attending service else where from time to time. Even that was criticized because I didn't ask for permission & there was always some comment or sarcastic remark about it. These were people who were somewhat foundational in my spiritual life but toward the end I ended up feeling really bad when I was around them as opposed to before. I eventually stopped attending service there altogether. Never felt better. Sometimes you have to get away from it & mature to see just what you were a part of & how bad it was for you.
Thank you for addressing it. I especially appreciate the last point where the pastor wants to control your life, being like the Holy Spirit for you. That's why its so important that we have a personal relationship with the Lord and listen or look to what His Holy Spirit has to say.
So true
Experienced all of what you mentioned for years and years. It's very difficult to go out of such new religious movement (aka cult), so much manipulation, subtle twisting of scriptures, echo chamber, group think, shunning, weaponizing of loved ones against people who asks challenging questions. Cults are not just confined to physical abuse, but spiritual abuse as well!!! Thank you for spreading this information brother. A lot of people who really want to serve God are trapped in such situations, this is a great help. Share and like guys!
This is why many people dont want anything to do with the church. We have a lot of pimps in the pulpit.
I felt like I was watching a plot of a tv series on Netflix. This is so serious because I can hear unbelievers saying now, that this is the reason why they don't want to go to church
Yep✌🏾😔
I've experienced this... heard comments like "everyone whose camera is off during zoom isn't paying attention." to me this was said... "you're steady doing something during assembly." I just said, "not steady." he told me how to lord myself over someone he didnt think was in Christ yet. he told me to ask questions like what did they learn and what they've been reading in the word... he told me I was the mature one and I need to act like it with her. he also mentioned to me that if I dont stop doing something, I will end up holding the group back. someone misread read or misperceived what I said to them and believed I hadn't forgiven them and convinced me that I hadn't forgiven them (spirit of lies). after she said her piece and I said foolishness to agree to the lies, he told me I was weak, that Im the same person I was before I was born again, and that he thinks the reason why I find it hard to talk to him is because I hate the truth... I wasn't comfortable opening up to him so when he'd ask me what's wrong and I would say idk (if something was actually wrong, I wouldn't have the head knowledge and my heart doesn't feel safe around him so I wouldn't be connected to it, and so one time he mentioned to me how he hates liars.... he complains a lot. I asked him and another person if they believe we deserve God's love. they said no, and mentioned deserving hell and death and then automatically assumed I didnt believe God loves me and his only way to prove that God love me in his assumption (I wasn't concerned about whether He loves me or not, God revealed His love to me and I understand its unfailing), was saying roughly, "He wrote a whole love letter." as though to guilt me ... and not comfort me. I was told all that had to happen to that I could get back to my first love. I have challenged him a couple times - but I still went accused at the end of the day. God revealed to me that there were ungodly spirits behind a confrontation done by him and a sister in Christ... however, I had been gaslighted so hard, my already complicated walk in getting back to my first love became harder... I started seeing 666 and upside down crosses everywhere after that conversation... I had this idea in my mind that I had to give up.... that it was over for me. but thank God I didnt. I separated myself from them, with intent to come back (sort of), but the longer I was away, the more I saw how bad of a situation I had been in with them. I wanted to leave the group chat (it was a small assembly, we met over zoom unless we were visiting each other's states), but God said not yet. I wanted to block them, but in my heart, I knew I had to keep an open space in case they needed me for anything. eventually, my dad passed away (September 25 this year) and things got weirder. first he had everyone leave the group chat. I thought it was because he realized something cult like had developed but it turned out he had secretly been planning on creating another group. I found out that he created another group because I found out that him and a couple people blocked me on everything. this was days after my dad passed away. I got condolences and then they dipped. hoenstly, I have no idea what was said about me for them get someone else to block me, but im tempted to find out. however, all the gaslighting has made me doubt myself in crazy ways... still to this day. I feel like this is all my fault. oh and after I guided my heart to stop seeing upside down crosses... I saw a cross in everything. but when I saw the crosses, I would hear, "I hate God." the accuser also accused of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit in the conversation. I never went back to that group situation again. theres more but I hav said enough.
Thank you for speaking on this brother! I was involved in a religious cult as well and many of the tactics you speak about were used, including sexual. What I'm learning is that Christ is my head and covering. I can go to Him directly and get my needs met. While I'm thankful there are true pastors out there, the word reminds us to be "wise as serpents yet harmless as doves"🕊 much love to all who've been victimized in this way...May our gracious Lord comfort and guide you into all truth🙏🏽
Very good well done, you have explained for the last 30 yrs of my life on an hourly basis. I did tell them off, but they get worst and worst. Thank you God for this.
1st, Thank you for sharing this! Truly it could be an entire series. Going thru this pandemic has really opened my eyes about all of these levels of abuse. Even before the pandemic when I realized tithing was used at the church I attended as a way of telling people they were cursed for not doing it and God challenged me to give as the church was instructed to in the Bible, I was treated like an enemy. We are sheep with the Holy Spirit leading us into all truth and should not be taken advantage of to fit into an organization's agenda.
People dominating each other is a huge issue. Especially when it is done in the name of love and servitude. Satans BS can get really tricky and people actually believe that they are doing the right thing. We have to be careful and wash our own hearts to not fall into this trap. Lets be humble and continue to learn from the Lord.
I never expected to be hurt so bad by a pastor :( he was so loving and kind acting but when he thought i didnt agree on one thing he lost his mind. Totally cut me off from the church and threatning to make people not be around me. It was instant . No love at all just his ego. Im thankful im out of that. All he talked about was money anyways.. thank you for the vidoe .
I experienced spiritual abuse as the member of the worship team in a mega church. Everything you've mentioned is spot on. I'd also add gaslighting to the list, as well as soliciting money and using emotional/spiritual blackmail to do so. Making people on benefits or single parents feel like second class citizens for not being able to give as much, then the Pastor turning up in a designer suit.
Also, being disrespectful of people's time and energy, always demanding more no matter how much people give.
I could go on and on...
Perfect timing! I was just wondering about this when questioning small, non-denominational churches that use the “spiritual fatherhood/motherhood”. Never sat right with me when Jesus said “call no man father...”.
I’d like to add that I have actually experienced this a few times now as a Christian for 20 years. The thing that keeps it from being exposed is that they are constantly calling out gossip, divisiveness, and jezebel spirit. None of us wants to be that. The thing is that it’s not gossip if you are speaking truth and seeking accountability to God Almighty. Duh. Dividing and separating from sin and abuse is a good thing. Duh. I’m a woman and if I speak up I’m sure any abuser will accuse me of having a jezebel spirit. I will still speak up for God’s sake. I am totally content with not church hopping because I won’t commit but following the Holy Spirit’s leading about where to get rooted and serve and be fine with leaving when I’m lead to.
"Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21
Trust in God alone. Hopefully this inspired you today. God loves you through it all! God bless.
I’ve been going to church my entire life and I’ve never seen or heard of this kind of thing.
Amen
@@thebibletrain8297 but it does not happen to everyone. It has not happened to me
All of this is spot on. I’d love to see you make a video about the correlation between pastors and narcissism - understanding these concepts would have saved me from years of hurt but I was gaslit by the pastors and was easy to manipulate as I fully trusted them
Thank you Allen Par,all these things have happened to me over a couple of years and I was struggling to find a way to vocalise them as I'm naturally an introvert and my church has been the only place I've ever fellowshiped.I always thought I was the issue and was just seeing things where they weren't.I thank God for using you to clarify what has been on my mind for a long period of time.
This so good. If you think you are in a abusive church please do your do diligence and if you find you are being abused GET AWAY GO RUN GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE NOR FORSAKE YOU.
THIS is so right on.
Hey brother allan? I love how you touch on subjects that were not only afraid to talk about? Alson subjects that never would've crossed our minds
I had been suffering for years with agoraphobia and I was terrified to leave my place. Finally got to the point where I could go to church but I sat up on the top level away from the whole congregation at first. And the pastor told me that I had to sit down with everybody else and I explained to him about my situation and I'm just trying to come out from agoraphobia. He said oh nonsense take a leap of faith stop listening to your feelings and start listening to God. Either you sit down with the rest of the congregation or don't come back to my church. Then he went on to say, the Bible says without faith it is impossible to please God, if you are not healed it is because you don't have faith to receive your healing. Therefore you are not pleasing to God. Yeah I stopped going to that church and any other church after that. My agoraphobia tripled
Bottom line it’s called BULLYING😡
I won’t let my own husband bully me.
I fear God not a man of any title
💯
Why would a husband bully his own wife. Sad
@@shepsr.7847 ikr
I’ve seen it happen to wives
Absolutely...a man is to love his wife as Jesus did the church... Being willing to die for her. A very high calling.
Amen
Thanks so much for this. I was abused as a young and naive 18 year old on a one year volunteer programme in a very charismatic organisation here in the UK. It was over thirty years ago now and the effects have been absolutely devastating. I'm currently trying to get justice and compensation for what happened, but it's a slow and painful process.
“[17] I urge you, brothers and sisters, to keep your eyes on those who cause dissensions and create obstacles or introduce temptations [for others] to commit sin, [acting in ways] contrary to the doctrine which you have learned. Turn away from them. [18] For such people do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites and base desires. By smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting [the innocent and the naive].”
Romans 16:17-18
“[10] After a first and second warning reject a divisive man [who promotes heresy and causes dissension-ban him from your fellowship and have nothing more to do with him], [11] well aware that such a person is twisted and is sinning; he is convicted and self-condemned [and is gratified by causing confusion among believers].”
Titus 3:10-11
This is the exact scripture a twisted congregation uses against a new church member. Who sees how a church uses God's Word to live in a form of forced legalism. Not each members independent relationship in faith with the Lord. Who allows grace and loving freedom to change and grow. Not forced obediance and shamming. When you call them out and leave. The church uses this very verse to justify lies. So they stay in sin. And they spread lies to all the local churches.
The Lord is so good outwhen you come out of these deceptive lies. He will confirm things, and move you out. Things you never knew. Like ten years before. Half the church split and started a new church. And left those leading people wrong. People follow blindly when it comes to family staying in a church. Their blind of their own actions of creating co-dependency to their leadership. Then shame and ostracize you if you don't. Leaders and decons should be rotated. So this never happens.
Yup. I got demoted from a church volunteer position because I questioned the leaders proposition that we treat our women's group like a business and charge people to be part of it. If you couldn't pay, you spent more time doing childcare so paying members could participate. Uh, what? One week later stripped of my title and told I couldn't participate in leadership any more because of some private business I had asked for prayer about. My friend got the boot, too, because she stuck up for me in the meeting. We left the church a couple months later for other leadership reasons. The friend stayed, but is one of my nearest and dearest almost twenty years later. The women's group, however, died on the vine the next year and they haven't had a successful one there since. Thanks for confirming for me that that is what happened.
I just came inside from a conversation with my dear neighbor who is taking a step back from her faith because of this. She's now questioning that Christ was even the Messiah because of how people have spiritually abused her. My faithful Christian brothers and sisters, please pray for her and her husband. Both their churches used and abused them. Pray they find Jesus. Pray for them. And pray for me that I may be the good Christian example in her life.
This is exactly what am going through in my local church. And it’s makes me have no joy going to church or serving in the church anymore. I really need Gods help in this situation because it’s eating me up.
Listening to this I can reflect back and see this was done in the past. Thanks for showing us the signs
It is so empowering to be able to understand what happened to you when the words are not in mind to describe it when it's happening.
Thank you for posting this Allen. I am in tears. I felt led to get on RUclips this morning, which is odd considering it's not something seemingly spiritual. Your video was the first thing to pop up on my feed. I felt uneasy as soon as I saw the title. I cried within the first few minutes of watching. I didn't want to admit the experience of this, I wanted to pretend like it wasn't real. I have been struggling with so much bitterness and unforgiveness due to different types of hurt in my past. They have been a hindrance to my walk with God and in imitating Christlikeness. I believe the Lord is leading me to forgive such people because the Lord already forgave me. Therefore, I am without excuse. I share these things simply because I believe someone else needs to hear this. God is good and merciful and kind and just. Let us not forget how much he has forgiven us. It doesn't mean that our hurts don't exist, it doesn't mean that we didn't suffer, it doesn't mean that we hide them away and pretend like they didn't happen It means that we bring them to God and offer them at his feet and Ask HIM to Bring them to use for Our good and His Glory. May the Lord Richly Bless You Brother Allen for Your Work & May the Lord Richly Bless Anyone who Needs to Hear this.
Today it was me who needed to read this. Thank you
It sounds like a narcissist person awareness list.
Absolutely 💯
Yup Jezebel spirit
The church breeds narcissists and narcissist enablers. It's sadly an environment where this type of abuse either thrives or continues from broken and or religious households. Love is patient. Love is kind. It doesn't dishonor others.
Yes. Most of this....I do have to remove myself. I have forgiven many times and I still forgive now but I don't have to stay. I won't be returning. God doesn't want me to be abused. I know we are not perfect but I have save myself and get out of this situation.
I've had every single one of those things happen to me. That's why I don't go to church anymore. But if you ask most Christians everything is all my fault and I should go back to church so I can endure further abuse.
Sandy, I went through all of this, too, but I found a wonderful church where none of that is happening. Thank God! Hoping you can find a healthy church and enjoy the worship and fellowship God intends for his people.
I agree you.
@@sharonleary6711 I'm glad you found a good church. In 50 years I found one that was really good. When my husband died I moved away from the area. Where I'm living now, so far, I haven't found a good church to go to.
Sandy rI'm in the same position. Been to many churches and finally gave up searching. I stay home read my Bible and do simple chu devotions daily. Have never even been contacted by the church I supported for years unknowingly. Several have left for the reasons of being made to serve that church without question.
@@deangerber1797 Yes, I understand. I have a group of people that read "Our Daily Bread" and pray together every morning. Then I lead a Bible Study every Wednesday. If you wish to join either of these groups, let me know. Church just isn't for me right now.
Attended a church where any question to the Pastor's wife was absolutely not allowed! One time, I dared to disagree with Scripture something the Pastor's wife said to a young convert in a women's study...I was sternly rebuked publically and was told that Satan would not interrupt again as I had! I was also labeled "a rebel against spiritual authority", and for a time shunned by her. And because I didn't choose to be close girlfriends with a few of her fave congregants, I was gossiped about and then handed a book by her called, "Why am I afraid to love." Which was simply not true, my life was full of friends at church, just not the ones she felt I should be. My husband and I served in that church tirelessly in many areas of ministry for 14 years, when finally the control got completely out of control and we left. Afterwards we were called "chaff" in the next sermon. It was awful and I had to literally had to do a start-over in my heart to repeat my resolve and commitment to walk with Christ for my own sense of spiritual well-being.
Preach! I wish every Christian hears and understands this cos a lot of people are backsliding because of this.
Yes OMG I experienced this a year ago and it almost ruined my life and my marriage!!! This Nondenominational Church Pastor in East Texas came to my business and started yelling and screaming at me because I had stopped going to church due the Covid pandemic. He was brutal! He told my husband that he needed to beat me and he needed to destroy all my electronics. He was so abusive and my husband did not see it for the longest time. When I kept praying and was ready to leave this relationship my husbands eyes were finally opened and he saw what was going on! It almost ruined my life! He encouraged my husband to divorce me and go live with him and his family.
God bless you Bro. Parr! Getting in God's word and spiritual discernment are the keys here. Thank you Bro. Allen Parr
Great video. I have experienced this first hand. When the leaders had a problem with me They tried to turn other members against me. You could never question anything it was their way or no way. Some of these organizations are cults
The first sign is also how believers judge others at times, and should instead pull brothers or sisters to the side as a private conversation.
WoW... this one hit it right on the nail head. I had to walk away from a spiritual leader because the Holy Spirit was giving me a red flag signal from someone I knew for years when I found out he belong to a cult and claimed conversion to Christianity however when I didn't want to meet with him anymore he said in an angry voice you will meet with me I Am in leadership!!! Well that was the sign I needed to walk away from him I don't hate him I Pray for him he decided to pass rumors around church and friends I was close to stopped talking to me and checking up on me but God said Pray for them and do not harbor your heart but love them through Jesus Amen God Bless you brother stay safe and Prayers and Blessings to you and your family Amen 🙏