I think the worst part of the church's normalization of emotional abuse is how those of us raised by christian families couldn't escape the manipulation even at home, and in fact... we were taught to carry that emotional manipulation with us, in our way of seeing the world, so that in time we become our own abusers.
That's so true. So much of the pain and trauma comes from how one is treated by their own family, which is a direct result of the indoctrination of christian ideologies.
Yes, yes, YES!!! Autistic and gay woman here, raised in a Southern Baptist fundamentalist church. I’m 46 years old, and dealing with decades of trauma from the church, my family, and as you said, from myself. I hate it, I’ve never been able to shake it, live as my true self, and learn not to hate myself. I HATE what Christian’s, the church, their god, I hate what they turned me into.
I was called a "Radical Skeptic" from my pastor for questioning Christianity when I genuinely wasn't convinced anymore from a few months of basic research about the bible. I thought that was pretty good leadership lol spot on Kristi
I’m Orthodox and have zero issues with questions plus I read church history like Polycarp I would never let others including friends who are Christian or atheist tell me what to believe, I would did my own research and found Orthodoxy true nobody forced me into it
Finally, someone who is talking about the psychology of religious teaching tactics. I've always said or related god as being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist. Great job. 👍🏻
I have this image in my head of the god of christianity nailing his child on the cross and then turning around and saying: 'look what you made me do' with a psychopath smirk... if the shoe fits, I'd say... although most people are just indoctrinated into it and forget about the 'bigger picture' and just focus on the suffering of the 'poor sacrificial lamb' figure of jezus...
I’ll never forget being told by the church that it was my fault as to why I am hard of hearing. I was prayed over many times and was never healed. I was told that God will not heal me because I had some sin in my life. I was 7 years old
SUBMISSIVENESS and OBEDIENCE VS. DEFIANCE and DISBOBEDIENCE Who is the Creator? ANSWER - Jesus Christ KNOWS the Creator is the True and Sovereign God as written in Matthew 22:37 and John 17: 3 What is the worth, value, and importance of submissiveness and obedience to imperfect, suffering, and dying human beings? ANSWER - Jesus Christ KNOWS that the submissiveness and obedience of imperfect, suffering, and dying human beings to his authority and teachings about the "Kingdom of God" and "Resurrection of the Dead" as written in Matthew 28:18, Luke 4: 43, and John 11: 25, 26 will definitely bring them honor and the Creator's favor and reward of ETERNAL LIFE and existence on earth without sufferings, pains, griefs, sickness, and death as written in Revelation 21: 3, 4. What is the consequence of defiance and disobedience to imperfect, suffering, and dying human beings? ANSWER - Atheists and Evolutionists who are openly and proudly filling the world with their lie and false claim that the Creator is worthless, cruel, merciless, and undeserving to be honored and respected as the True and Sovereign God and Jehovah's Witnesses, SDAs, Mormons, Baptists, Catholics, Born Again Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, and fanatic members of all kinds of Religions who are openly and deliberately misleading and deceiving their own families, friends, and neighbors to believe their lies and false teachings about "Armageddon", "immortality of the souls or the heaven and hellfire doctrine", "Trinity", "rapture", and "reincarnation" KNOW and are fully aware that their willful disobedience and defiance of the Creator's Sovereignty and his Christ's authority and teachings will definitely bring them dishonor, disgrace, shame, and cause their own downfall and ETERNAL DEATHS, just worthless and useless dusts on earth forever. What is the worth, value, and importance of the "Kingdom of God" and "Resurrection of the Dead"? ANSWER - The Creator KNOWS that he didn't create human beings with immortal souls and they will just become worthless and useless dusts on earth after their deaths just like the animals as written in Ecclesiastes 3: 19, 20 ; 9: 5, 6 but all his worshippers who died recently and thousands of years ago like Abel, Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Job, Naomi, Ruth, King David, Jesus Christ's disciples and followers, and many others will not remain as worthless and useless dusts on earth forever, instead, in the right and proper time and as written in John 11: 25, 26, he will let Jesus Christ RESURRECT them back to life so they can all happily and abundantly live and exist on earth forever as submissive and obedient subjects of the "KINGDOM of GOD" or His Kingdom and fully enjoy his and his Christ's eternal love, kindness, goodness, compassions, generosities, favors, and blessings for eternity under the loving and kind rulership, guidance, and protection of Jesus Christ as his Chosen King and Ruler of the heavens and the earth as written in Revelation 11: 15.
I'm a Christian and I was going through this comment section very sad at all the clear hurt people have gone through. I found Christ in 2020 but before that as a child I ended up leaving Christianity because of religious trauma at a pentecostal church at 13. That religious trauma shoved me into being agnostic and a new ager for years. Thankfully Christ got ahold of me in adult hood and I became a born again Christian. I'm not writing this to convert you but let you know I can come from a place of understanding. The first time I entered a church again as an adult I was seething, shaking, angry, hurt, and I let the pastor know what harm Christians did to me as a child (thankfully he was kind and I landed in a good baptist church this time around.) It still hurts to this day what people did to me as a child, but I learned what's biblically accurate - it's a walk and personal relationship with Jesus, not others. My faith is in Christ because he is perfect, my faith is not in people because they will inevitably let you down as they're flawed. I'm saved by the grace of God alone, not other people. I do good works not because it saves me, but because I am saved and want to please God - not people. Jesus died on that cross for you and he loves you. I know it won't mean much coming from me but i'm so sorry you ever went through that and it should have never happened to you. Do you know what your name means in Hebrew if it's truly Samuel? "God has heard."
@@snowberriesxI grew up Baptist. It was my pastor who helped me leave it all. He asked me one day, "why do you hate God?" I was dumbfounded. I believed, except I liked hard rock, metal & punk music & the satanic panic was still a thing at the time. But I was judged solely on the music I liked...at least by some people. & Once when I ask a question about something I didn't understand. I wasn't being "defiant" or questioning the legitimacy, I just didn't understand. The only answer I could get was "you shouldn't question God." Literally a non-answer. If it works for you, that's great. I have no problem with anyone just because they believe. My problem was not getting any answers from the people who claimed they had all the answers.
No I don’t think so. AINT “nobody die on a cross” for me. That is just straight up GASLIGHTING at its finest! ! Probably the greatest manipulation tactic ever designed by the religion itself. So guess what?! NO! Why would anyone need to die brutally on a cross for ME?!?! What I wasn’t even alive then-let’s assume that this did take place which obviously it did NOT, but for argument sake purposes- then why would someone else feel the need to sacrifice anything for me ?!?! Why?! Let me guess because I was born a sinner?? Well I am not a born sinner !! Who said I was born a sinner?? Because you do know that sinner also means corrupt, depraved, evildoer, murderous, immoral right?! Well that describes the god of the Bible !! That’s not who I am because I am a BORN CONSCIOUS SENTIENT HUMAN BEING with a true capacity of evolving. I trust my consciousness WAY MORE than a book full of fairytales sorry. I mean come on “Jesus” was not even explicitly mentioned in the Old Testament!! Not to mention that the letter J was not even in the alphabet until year 1524! So who is this great “Jesus” that supposedly died for me on a cross?! Seems like a fairytale to keep people actively from using their own inherent mental faculties. I will never AGAIN do such of a dehumanizing practice to myself EVER again. Period. Whether “Jesus” did in fact exist or not is irrelevant because I am not born a sinner so therefore his supposed sacrifice on a cross does NOT apply to me in any way. That’s just applying 7 year old’s logic. And Ever since I have left the church on my own many others at the same church who have been struggling forcefully suppressing their mental faculties seek my advice and I give it to them. And a week later they LEFT the church as well in its entirety. In year 2024 we are done with MANIPULATION and GASLIGHTING PERIOD.
@@christophergibson7155 again I understand your point, but every single person is a sinner and judging others because of their beliefs is against the words of God 🙏🙏. When you're a student of history and religion you're able to learn things that aren't in the Bible, I was for 55 years and I have been studying for over 20 years now and have a few degrees in Theology which makes others think that I'm an automatic sinner or something, I spend 65% of my day in study of ancient books 📚. So I'm definitely dedicated to learning more about religion
Love how when you tell a church you’re going to leave it for another or that you have reached the conclusion that you no longer believe in their deity, they all of a sudden start acting like a toxic ex-partner. “Where you going to go? If this isn’t real then NOTHING is. NOBODY is going to love you the way OUR God loves you. You’re absolutely NOTHING without US in your life”.
@@holotrout It IS demonization. But unfortunately, it is very, VERY common in churches to this day. Worked as a social worker for a decade. Had former clients privately and publicly shunned because they leaved their former church and had this rhetoric thrown at them over and over again. Unfortunately, the Bible would absolutely back up people who shun them and that is my issue. There is no “the church”. There are 45,000 different denominations of Christianity in the US alone. 100 different interpretations of the Bible that you can use and all of it can and IS used against people who walk away from their church for that reason. Because that church KNOWS it’s “the true church” so walking away from that is a spit in the face of that idea.
Uuuuuugh the whole "silent treatment" thing. I told a former church member that when I was afraid I was losing my faith, I cried out to God to not let me go, and to do something to reassure me that he was really there. I had never in my life been more sincere in my desire to stay in God's hands than I was in those moments. And after a long time of hearing the same nothing I had always heard, and understanding that it really was always nothing, I finally understood that I was no longer a believer. He emailed me this: "This one is tough because we all go through times when God seems silent. In a similar situation, I would examine my own heart. Why? Isaiah 59 tells us that God can be selective in our hearing if we are coming to Him in an unrepentant way (I am not pointing a finger, just pointing out a truth I have been convicted of in my own life.)" So basically I can pray all day and night for months on end, but I can "do it wrong" and God won't answer because of that. If he were real, fuck him.
There is no him. Just a big line of lies and manipulation stretching back thousands of years. Fuck everyone who coerced you into believing lies, superstitions, and misinformation. However it's important to keep in mind that they were all coerced and manipulated too.
I found Kristi through Tiktok forever ago, and honestly one of the best quotes she gave us that's helped me is "if an all-knowing God is only answering prayers according to His will, then the only prayers He's answering is his own". And that's stuck with me for the longest time because it was when I was early in my deconstruction of my faith and it hit me so hard.
@@laurarobin6311 No, Laura, her infantile argument just shows how ignotant she is. if this is one of her 'best' quotes, I wouldn't like to see her worst ones!
I think your last sentence shows the true state of your heart. It just took a period of silence to reveal it. I assume you’re still alive though and have wi-fi, a roof over your head, a bed to sleep on, food in the fridge and clothes on your back? But no doubt your bitterness is totally justified because God didn’t give you a miracle.
@@simoncordingley3122 Absolutely right, simon. I know a man who cursed at God because God didn't immediately respond to his prayer request to give him 20=20 vision. This man uses foul language and makes filthy 'jokes' in front of women and their little children, mocks those who pray and read the bible, calling them 'pharisees', and yet still claims to be a Christian because he once 'put his faith in' Christ, many years ago.. When I advised him to reconsider his claim to be a believer, he took offence and accused me of being judgemental This blog is a pity-party for people who blame God for the bad treatment they've received from ignorant churches, and from believers who are led by the nose by 'pastors' who are ignorant concerning the scriptures, and who mistake the exuberance of the manipulated religious flesh for the work of the Holy Spirit. They are easy prey for the silly mixed-up girl who makes these videos, and who no doubt makes a living wage out of it.
@@christophergibson7155 You're one of the people she's talking about in the video. You always blame the unbeliever or the person who's struggling with their faith and you never have the humility to consider that you might be at least partly to blame.
@@christophergibson7155You seem powerfully triggered at the idea that you may be following a false religion. You should look into that, maybe by talking to a therapist.
College students are also incredibly vulnerable to evangelical manipulation as well. What with traumatized frat/sorority has-beens and all of that overwhelming academic and social pressure, it makes an ideal hunting ground for indoctrination.
Most colleges are notorious for their far left indoctrination than their religious manipulation nowadays. We all have seen that with massive pro Palestinian rallies all accross the colleges lately. As if they all have one common agenda and protest every other opinion. I don't think that's any better. I can't think of an institution that provides a neutral ground for equal opportunities to voice our opinions without being forced to take sides and support a certain ideology.
Some time ago I decided I would attend a midnight Xmas service at Truro Cathedral, which is High Anglican. I've always been an atheist, but I wanted to experience this event as a way of understanding. I thought I would find it quaint but celebratory. Instead, I found it highly disturbing. It felt exactly like a cult. The sermon fed directly on people's fears and frailties. The constant reiteration of "we will always love you" might sound harmless out of context, but in an environment of heightened emotion it was a clear way of taking control. My wife - an ex-Catholic - thought my reaction was funny, but I was genuinely perturbed by what I witnessed.
yes! normal people you see most days or converse with in the street suddenly display a mental illness when in a church setting . I have witnessed it myself recently . It is very disturbing.
I'm english, from england, and when I pass churches im often impressed by how they look, but then i find myself thinking, 'This is a temple to human sacrifice'.
@@whitemountainapache3297 " 'This is a temple to human sacrifice'." Actually christian beliefs were a way to stop actual human and animal sacrifices from pagan religions that came before it. Having this mythical sacrifice that ended all future sacrifices satiated the blood lust people used to expect from their religions.
My first church boyfriend used to sing a song with a lyric along the lines of "Does He still feel the nails every time I fail?" Like, WTF? The idea that my 15-year-old self was hurting Jesus every time I fibbed or had an unholy thought seems crazy in hindsight.
My daughter and I still laugh our butrs off replaying this sermon we heard about how we need to drink the juice of the Lord, getting on our knees to open up for Jesus, swallowing the joy of the Lord, this was southern Baptist. They also had a sign that said Let Jesus be your Pokémon. I'm laughing just writing this because I cannot do that sermon justice. It was the most homoerotic sermon I've ever heard in an actual church. 😂😂😂😂
Thank you for explaining the concept of gaslighting. If you are not making the other person doubt him/herself as a person, you are not gaslighting. And every church I know gaslights the hell out of every gullible person they find.
@@neriumkristina I meant gullible. In our society we are far too prone to declare ourselves as victims, so I am very careful about the use of the word "vulnerable".
I believe my dad said the moment that a lot clicked for him and when he decided to leave the church was when he was discussing something unrelated to theology or belief (I think it involved a choral arrangement) with a church leader and the guy sprang "would you be willing to yield to the wisdom of the church?" and suddenly many things that were circulating in his mind in a disconnected way about how people were treated and the abuse of authority all fit together. It's very interesting to me that the moment that caused it was so minor and unrelated to the worse aspects of abuse going on. I'm very glad that my parents didn't raise me and my sister in religion. She would have been consumed by guilt and I would have gone angry and self-destructive.
It was probably because it was so minor. Leveraging his position like that for something so inconsequential, I would speculate, put the formula on display in the clearest, most unambiguous terms. When bossman wants you to do something, he speaks with "the wisdom of the church." It's the thought terminating cliche of Job."Who are you to question God?" that the church often employs to their own benefit.
Kristi... keep up the good work. 😎 As a lifelong atheist I watch your channel mostly for entertainment. However I am extremely impressed at the way you manage to phrase seemingly obvious common-sense questions about religious beliefs in such a straightforward and accessible manner. (And I do find it humorous how offended so many apologists seem to get when asked to provide direct answers to simple questions or simple explanations for things that either just plain don't make sense or that put their beliefs in an unfavorable light.)
As a child, I was instructed to imagine Jesus' mangled body on the cross every time I was tempted to disobey my parents or sin in any way. I was also encouraged to imagine scenarios where someone asked if I was a Christian at the point of death and pray that through the strength of Christ I would value His name more than my life or comfort. Because of that conditioning, as an adult I suffer from intrusive thoughts of people trying to kill me or imagining horrific gore. Thanks, church. Definitely things nine-year olds need to ponder.
Oh man, this is such a common experience from 90s/00s youth scene. I'm sorry you experienced that. I remember reading "she said yes" and thinking that it could be a real possibility I would be martyred for my faith. It's such a terrible fear to instill in kids :(
Hugely relate to this. The intrusive thoughts of violence due to a childhood spent fantasizing about martyrdom is a big thing that haunts me as an adult, and I haven't heard anyone else describe having that same experience. Thanks for your comment, it's weirdly comforting in an awful sort of way to know I'm not alone in that, I guess.
I was brought up to think my heart was deceitfully wicked, I’d say this was the biggest manipulation tactic used, that I was born evil and cannot trust my own feelings, mind or judgment. I really think this is why I stayed as long as I did, thankfully I fully destructed by age 30, I’m 33 now. Still working through some things but I’m pretty lucky my husband is super supportive and our kids are not being indoctrinated.
@@christophergibson7155 a perfect example of love manipulation. Talk about Jesus loving people by dying on the cross to help his father's wrath and yet still people have to believe in Jesus to be saved from his wrath that he still has after brutally killing his son, and then has a horrible transmission Methode for this message, and if you don't believe it on blind faith with no supporting evidence just a book of unverifiable claims then you get to take a fire bath forever. This isn't Love even by biblical definitions, this is a horror death cult that demands obedience through fear and manipulation.
20 + years in the "Assembly of god " cult church, I heard the phrase "Get out of your comfort zone" so many times from the pulpit. They were big on breaking down your personal barriers and forcing you to let your guard down. They made a huge deal out of giving up your own rights / privacy / boundaries all for the sake of the "body", the "family" of the church. It creeped me out and I hated it. If you held back and didn't willingly do everything the preacher said, you were viewed as resisting "the spirit". It was a total manipulative program to break people down and take away their individuality. Everything about "you" is wrong, and "we" are here to fix that.
I can still remember the time Rodney Howard Browne came to Maui (I was a member of AOG there and we'd get a lot of speakers, you know, it's Maui...lol, can you say, "tax deductable va-cay?"). There were people laying all over the floor....it was nutso. What got me questioning things was that they'd go around with blankets to cover women's legs for modesty. Okay, fair enough, but this woman falls right in front of me with an ankle length sun dress and dutifully they covered her ankles. But, you know, they didn't cover her top, where in her bra-less state, laying on the floor, well.....let's just say, that spagetti strap top...wow, so, I'm thinking, okay, if these people aren't just mindless sheep, wouldn't they not worry about her ankles and cover her cleavage? It took a few more years and a major crisis before I left the church (I'd left AOG but just moved into another pentacostal cultish environment, Vineyard), but I'll never forget that woman's boobs and how they showed me that people are just dancing along with the Pied Piper and there's no "Spirit of God" in the building, guiding the saints, and changing lives, blah, blah, blah...
The entire schtick of the church is: “you’re a sinner and unwell. Come to our church and we’ll “cure” you, for a price.” That sounds like manipulation to me.
@Nomads4216 Sad awakening? Christians are only obsessed with a story. Your in love with the story and not the reality of the story. You folks are in for a surprise, a really good surprise!
The whole "game" of churches guilting people into compliance (which I DEFINITELY experienced growing up in the church) reminds me of a Deep Thought by Jack Handy: Child: Daddy, where does the rain come from? Father: Well, God is crying. Child: why is God crying? Father: I don't know but it's probably because of something YOU did
Thank you for all you’re doing for people, like myself, who grew up indoctrinated in the Christian faith. I have been devouring your videos over the last couple of weeks and have learned something from every single one of them. Every deconstruction is a unique story, but I want you to know that your videos have helped me immensely in my journey. Keep it up, Kristi! We need more voices speaking the truth!
As usual, Kristi, you do an amazing job at breaking down how much Christianity damages people’s psyches and emotions. Thank you and keep up the good fight!
that actually brings up a good point HERE IS AN IDEA FOR KRISTI BRING IN A PSYCHOLOGIST ON THE SHOW Ask the Psychologist to describe what happens when people follow something that isn't real to an extreme. what happens to the belief system and what impact does this have on NORMAL PSYCHOLOGY I already know the answers. but.. it does make for a very interesting discussion
Personally, after spending nearly 20 yrs (age10-28) in the pentecostal/charismatic/evangelical church, deeply committed, becoming a missionary, spending a year in Israel, learning Hebrew, learning about judaism and islam and the numerous varieties of christianity, graduating with a degree in biblical studies from a prominent evangelical Christian university...when somebody tells me i never really gave my heart to the lord, it shows me they have absolutely no idea what they are talking about.
Yes, you hit the nail on the head, as a little boy growing up in church the pastor always said those things and it frightened me, making me feel worthless, like it's my fault bad things happen to me, people around me and because of my nasty, disgusting sinful nature😟🤨
Thank you for helping SO MANY others to escape the vicious cycle of manipulation and abuse and to find emotional HEALTH. I was part of “the cult” of being “one of the chosen” and “one with God.” I am now so sorry for the abuse I passed on to others including my own children! Keep up your kind approach! ❤️☮️😀
@@holotrout My eyes are better now than 50 years ago. Religions of ALL KINDS rely on manipulation, deception, and arrogant “knowledge” of what “God said.” Nobody has ever shown any evidence of ANY god saying ANYTHING. If a god wants to talk, it can communicate clearly and in every language. They are either deceived themselves (as I was for far too long before REALLY studying religions) or they want your $$$. Some do some “good works”, but at the expense of teaching people to ignore reality in exchange for myths and lies.
I went to a elder at my last church, before I became atheist, to get advice about life struggles. He pretty much told me to just deal with it. I called him later to tell him how he hurt me feelings. He got defensive and started to make up lies about me in regards to past conversations that he and I had together. Getting counseling from non registered church leaders is never a good idea.
@@Cuffsmaster My parents suggested it. They also suggested I get annointed with oil by the main pastor for health issues. It did nothing. When I told them it wouldn't do anything I was told I was being stubborn and resistant to god's commands. It sucks to be raised in christianity.
Thanks for this video. Keep spreading this up Kristi! I've been manipulated multiple times by a person who's extensively righteous in Christian faith and betrayed me multiple times for being misotheistic and atheistic in order. I've so many personal experiences with my mental illnesses and sometimes through that righteous person with gaslighting. He said that schizophrenia is the result that you get because of thinking that you're someone selected by god even though you aren't. In other hand, I was gaslighted by so many speeches by the religious party that made me think that I've no salvation. In my confession at the church, I was threaten once for rejecting god. When I was much worse at my mental illnesses, I saw many gory nightmares even when I was very unfamiliar with such violence and made me sick where prayers didn't work. Later on, I got exposed to horror genre and stopped praying. Now, I barely see such dreams. For being an atheist and exploring horror, he also gaslighted me telling that I couldn't blame anyone for what I would face. I was like, shut the .... off! when I saw him last before he took an action in form of warning me. Something that I can't agree with Jesus is, how proud he was about himself being a Jew. Remember, that foreign lady? And how he blatantly said that you should treat them as "PAGAN'S" or tax collectors? Also, he's the one who invented the crazy ass idea about hell which brought up so many religious trauma. Finally, I have got my control up to some extent which allows me to have control over my OCD obsessions. Religion was the greatest barrier to overcome them. These videos helped me a lot in the past.
You deserve to be treated better. Even if you are an atheist, that is no excuse for us Christians to disrespect you. About the pagans and tax collectors, Eugene Peterson paraphrases it as: "If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love." Jesus wouldn't want us to be mean and nasty to someone just because they don't listen to the church.
@@PolymorphicPenguin I'm glad that you feel that way. I was often bullied for many reasons. They also tried insulting me basing the religion itself. I pretended to be an atheist when I was misotheistic in the past, I could contact god because of my delusions, later on, when I became a devoted Christian who suffers from the mentioned illnesses, he threatened me, blackmailed me telling many things. The speeches in the church also affected whatever the trauma that I felt. And god showed me that righteous person and said that he's mean for you but you shouldn't take any action and should be patient because he's selected and will be glorified in the future(refer to the story of Esau and Jacob) and at the end it happened but I sank down rapidly but when I started becoming an atheist by watching these videos, I started getting back my self confidence little by little. So, now I can at least study and be confident to a certain extent at the examinations. So, my problem is, if god loves us well, how come I face such a horrible fate and if it's just my illness, why was his ability wasn't great enough to let me converse with him in the right way. So, now I believe, there cannot be a good god or generally no god either with the aid of RUclips videos as well and it's not good for my current health to keep getting harassed by to which I gave life(God).
@@PolymorphicPenguin BTW.... May I know, why he mentions about Pagans then? Why are they considered as the deluded ones? And what has been meant by treating that person as a pagan?
Well, nobody yet knows what He wanted to occur to medieval Jews, or African slaves, say. Or if so - it's been kept, remarkably quiet. He certainly, didn't seem in a particular hurry, to be very vocal, or urgent about it - however. Also, any who... have read 2 Samuel 24, and similar verses... May find the idea... of 'forgiving love'... not always, convincing...?@@PolymorphicPenguin
I once wrote a poem about this, and you're basically explaining it so I thought I'll share. It's called "Heaven full of thorns". Last Sunday I came across the one true mouthpiece He told me he can help my inborn demons be released He's the only one who can ever set me free But he bonds me with expectations that will only be increased Doesn't matter if I suffer as long as he's appeased Now I owe him my entire life So he can keep bringing up the sacrifice Like it's some sort of a hidden knife Of guilt For a debt that none of us even built Whenever fear can be instilled He talks about prophesy fulfilled For high attendance makes his ego thrilled But all I see are souls his righteousness has killed Instead of helping out the poor and roofless He worries about who's saved of truth-less Well the truth is that a ransom should be useless unless you're dealing with the ruthless And don't talk about the corruption of your teacher Because there's justice and perfection even in his worst feature There's no bigger sins than the ones of the preacher Who holds the sword of judgement against every creature Judging every clothe except the one they have worn Instead of being a proof of what it means to be reborn In case you were expecting trumpets and horns Guess what? Heaven is full of thorns
@@John-fi5ik You've been there, have you? Doesn't that mean you're now dead? I think your fiction needs a little more work. It's just not remotely credible.
A prime example of gaslighting is when some churches discourage abused women from leaving their husbands by telling them that their husbands aren't being abusive, but they're just practicing Biblical headship.
Tysm for mentioning how most of these church leaders most likely don't know that what they are doing is abusive. That just made me feel way better being able to move forward from the mistreatment that I got at times from the church.
OP - SO TRUE! Even going through the comments, there are some people who do not care who they hurt or by what means they accomplish their goal of proselytizing. I really like that Kristi decided to do this video to shed some light on these behaviors!
Yes 🙌 x1000000! This is what I suffered from for nearly half of my life. Many years to heal from this complex PTSD. Thanks for pointing out the complexity of manipulation because it is generational and hard to break. We are the lucky ones, in that way. Or our children will be.
This spoke to me sooo much. My mental health is bad pretty much always, but it was so much worse when I was in the church, genuinely believing and sincerely searching for god with all my heart. The day I left and realized I no longer believed, such a weight lifted off me. Thank you for always speaking up about these issues!
IM THE SAME. The second I left my church a few months later i all of a sudden felt less stress, less guilt etc. Also I'm 13 and still got pretty bad mental health, getting better but ye. If gods real then he can give me proof. Also question for Christians: if gods all knowing that basicly means he Chooses who goes up and who goes down if yk what I mean
A little bit of trivia . . . The term "gaslighting" comes from a 1938 play by British author Patrick Hamilton. It is set in Victorian England at a time when houses were routinely illuminated by gaslight. It concerns the efforts of a husband who is trying to drive his wife crazy so he can gain control of her money. The play was originally called "Gaslight" but when it came to America it was renamed "Angel Street." It was made into a successful film in 1942 called, "Gaslight." In the story, the husband's duplicitous actions are uncovered when the gaslights dim. It is discovered that they dim because he is turing on gas lights in the upper story of the house to secretly search for hidden jewels. The term gaslighting describes someone who is actively trying to confuse and deceive another person for their own profit or advantage.
Trying to confuse and deceive for profit because she truly doesn't understand God or the bible. She's like many others just telling her own idea of what it means just many Christian denominations. She's no different.
@xXEGPXx To manipulate another person into doubting their own perceptions, experiences or understanding of events. That's exactly what she's trying to do by deconstructing God and the bible. It's not because I disagree with her. Most people on here are happily agreeing with her that don't really know and understand true Christianity. She had a bad experience with it true and the majority of people in Christianity nowadays give it a bad name but there are still true examples of Christianity around. People like her and the people making comments on here are judging true Christianity by all the bad representations of Christianity.
When you started talking about calling God “daddy”, I literally yelled out loud because my mom does that. She said he’s our “healthy daddy” PLEASE. STOP. IM GOING TO THROW UP.
Imagine being born in a predominantly Christian family, in a predominantly Christian country, and being forced to go to church, Christian school, read Christian books, watch Christian kids shows, listen to Christian music, watch christian comedy, go to youth group, have prayer and devotions with family everyday... And then grow up to think it was your choice to believe. I questioned God's morality when i was in middlescool because the story of Job troubled me so much. Whenever i asked questions about it, the answers were "god is beyond our understanding" or "god was just testing Job". Either way it seemed immoral to me. It didn't match my "moral code" that was supposedly written on my heart by god. The bible often aligns with the ideology of abusers. And victims often cite verses about being rewarded for suffering to excuse their abuse. It's ingrained in the ideology. It's a perfect storm. So that's why I became a scientologist. Just kidding.
Kristi- I hope you are doing well. I miss seeing your content on my tik tok FYP. You were instrumental in helping me deconstruct my faith and I can only hope to serve as a beacon to others who have been burned by the church. Please take care of yourself and know that your online community still supports & loves you!
We need to lift the immunity from criticism that mainstream religion has. "You have to respect my beliefs!", "You can't criticize someone's religion!". Oh, really? Why should it get a pass?
I mean I think its fairly simple why they have that power, its because the majority of this country is unfortunately still Christian, and they are going to milk that for the next few decades until they become a minority
“She is very combative,” says the elder when I argue vehemently about the communion bread and grape wine, How manipulative churches are indeed! Go on preaching Kris. It is very helpful to realize what gaslighting I have been subjected to. Several times I left every church , destroying my self-esteem every time. On retrospect, it’s really the manipulative tactics those clowns employed.
I here you as someone who left christianity in 2014 I had felt the same thing my church talked a lot on the rapture made me wanted to pray 24/7 when I stopped going I really started to think what was I so afraid of and found out it was just stupid. Thanks for making these videos and really debunking christianity great job👍🤘
I understand what you are saying, but just please know that because your church had gotten you discouraged, don't take your anger out on God. Read or listen to the Bible for yourself and pray. Jesus, Christ still loves you, even when the body of believers don't know how to show love to you.
@@richdelaney9500 Most atheists became atheists because they read the entire bible. I don't think your point is as solid as you think it is. Also, your last sentence about "Jesus Christ still loves you" is unsubstantiated emotional manipulation.
@@NaNlinear I can understand becoming an atheist after going to a church or hearing preaching about how we have to work to get to Heaven after we die. I did not intend for my comment to sound as though it is unsubstantiated, emotional manipulation. I was only trying to let everyone know that Jesus loves them because He died for everyone in the world. For you, for me and everyone else and I never knew of anyone willing to die for me....let alone my sins, until that moment that I repented of my sins and believed on Jesus, Christ as my Lord and savior on February 14th, 2017.
@@richdelaney9500 Even your new comment is manipulation. You are projecting your world view on to me. By doing so, you are doing two things. One, you are arrogantly proclaiming your belief is everyone's truth. It is not. Secondly, you are invalidating my experience by proclaiming my experience to be invalid. I understand you feel strongly about this, but do you see how this reads?
I think our elders tried to normalize all of these abusive behaviors. Especially gas lighting. I think there is a cultural shift happening as younger generation set healthy boundaries. Thankyou therapists and Brene Brown!!! Lol
I had to think out of the box when I read about the Christian Crusades, Saw the movie Kingdom of Heaven and realized my own father and grandfather went from Muslim (in Turkey) To Mormons (Utah USA) o-0 smh
Hey Kristie. You NAILED every point so well. BRAVO! I finally had my fill when I had an issue (marital Issue that will not be discussed in public) which there is no real solution for using their doctrines. I had ONE pastor, a decent guy whom I respect as a person, because he was honest with me. He said he did not know how to handle it. Aside from him, everybody else was either scared to try to think it through. When they tried to use warnings, I would just ask simple questions they could not answer and it infuriated them. EVERY one of those tactics were used until the day I walked out and never went back, and I never will, other than maybe a wedding or funeral, but that is IT.
I hope you’re taking good care of yourself Kristi! I know you took a break because this stuff can be emotionally heavy. I also hope (selfishly) that you come back soon! You have made people- including me- feel like we’re not alone. You also articulate very well the thoughts and lot of us have but struggle to put into words. We love you Kristi!
Thanks for your amazing video... it is right on! I was trapped in a fundamentalist Christisn church - cult for over 10 years. I left because my brain stopped me from serving in the church. What we were doing in the church (manipulating people) was in such contrast to what we were teaching (love people) that my rational, logical brain finially rebelled. After I escaped, I chose to stop doing all the things I was told on church, that I must do. It was not until 10 years later, after enduring guilt due to disobedience, that my guilt faded enough so that I could start to see clearly and question things freely. 25 years later, now I can easily see through any religious manipulation.
Thats was the problem. Not God.The church is not the house of God. You are the house of God! The Holy Spirit living inside you. The temple of God. When you put your trust in Jesus, He sends the Holy Spirit to live inside you. The Holy Spirit is the seal of God, and your evidence that you have been Born Again. We must possess the Holy Spirit. He is necessary for salvation. That is what you were missing. The Holy Spirit will bring you into a relationship with Jesus. Just between you and Him. Nothing to do with church. Dont blame the church and the people that led you astray, because they are only human and are prone to faults. That is why we are to look directly to God for guidance. And when you are filled with His Holy Spirit upon true salvation, then the Holy Spirit becomes your helper and teacher. Only the Holy Spirit can lead you to your purpose in Christ. Not people. Read 1John 2:27. "But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don't need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true-it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ." Dont give up on God, because He never gives up on you. He will never let you down, only people let you down. Humble yourself, pour out your heart to Jesus with faith, and ask Him to forgive you. Put your trust in Him, and give Him complete control. Ask Him to fill you with His Holy Spirit. He will transform your heart and mind. He did it for me. The Holy Spirit is the key, and the difference maker. Its truly amazing! You can have that peace and assurance of salvation. And all the love, joy, and kindness, that only comes from the Spirit of God. And then tell me if that wasn't what you were missing. Because I know there is much more to God than what you were talking about. He cares for you, and does not want you to leave this world without Him. Dont be stubborn, and rebellious. This life is temporary. Eternity is a long time to be wrong. And we are never guaranteed another day. I pray you think about and open your heart, because once its over, its too late. Be blessed
I just discovered you today and you share my story, thoughts, and explanations. I've spent this past year deconstructing my faith without knowing it was a thing, so many daring evil people like me, so many sharing similar stories to mine on RUclips. I went no contact with my family a couple years ago because of narcissistic abuse, then discovered the Bible is the narcissistic handbook, how to be a narcissist. Everything you said in this video describes my mom and upbringing using the Bible as a weapon against me. Thank you!
The bible IS a narcissistic handbook! What an apt description in a nutshell. It's all about being the special ones. Who deserve to inflict all kinds of pain, because they're special. And god is most special of all, as god is constantly telling us in the bible.
Are you being Sarcastic ? or do you really mean this literally ? I Honestly can't tell if you're being literal THAT IS SUCH STUPID ADVICE The church creates stress for you, The Church emotionally manipulates you and puts you in confusing and conflicting situations where you have no choice but to stress AND YES......... STRESS CAN ACTUALLY KILL PEOPLE........ I've seen it happen
@@martinkuliza Of course i'm being sarcastic. Sarcasm just oozes from every cravice of the quotation. And it's a real quotation from some sign sometime somewhere in America. Go figure...😜
@@vladimirgrbic8325 well THANK FUCKING GOD FOR THAT. sorry mate, the internet and all that.. you know. You don't fucking know what to believe anymore and Interestingly , (but i've known this since i was 16 and i'm 50 now) but most people do not actually understand that STRESS, Literally can kill you, it's literally toxicity to your body A Toxicity that we willingly produce through choice but yeah, that's fucking weird that a sign would have that . on the subject of stress and stress creation, Having the benefit of seeing religion since the 70s, I can tell you this in thw 70s we were like You believe in god, and that person does't believe in god we didn't have Atheist, Deist, Theist, Agnostic and every other bullshit term under the sun You believe what you did and that was it over the years i have seen changes happend Now it seem RELIGION IS A BATTLEFIELD I seem to be seeing (in the context of religious videos) things like SOLDIERS OF GOD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS THE BATTLE LINES ARE BEING DRAWN A WAR IS COMING... A WAR OF FAIT OR. A WAR OF GOOD VS EVIL IS COMING What the fuck is wrong with christians nowadays As if that's not going to create stress for people Oh.. Let the church help and then.... You are now a christian solder and you have to go into battle JESUS FUCKING CHRIST........ LOL and then some nut jobs takes that too literally and buys a gun and shoots an atheist. Trust me.. Time bomb Waiting to happen
This video is so spot on and explains perfectly what I wasn’t able to put to words. Listening to your videos has helped me understand my feelings towards church and the confusion I didn’t understand why I felt. Thanks!
As someone who was raised in church from a young age and only left fairly recently, I’ve heard almost everything you used as an example for what the church leaders say to manipulate people. And I went to many different churches throughout my life, they all used those tactics or some variation of it. Thank you for talking about this. What you’re doing is so important.
I love the work your doing. As someone who constantly teeters on the edge of wanting to believe but too skeptical to commit i live in constant fear of being judged for my unbelief. I think youre brave!
If it helps, there are other dimensions and an intelligence that shaped and keeps shaping the universe, in my experience. I just think it's a shame to reduce that to a male authority figure that happily destroys you if you don't obey the contradictory things he says. And who demands belief, instead of your fully aware partnership.
There are companies that teach Churches how to get the most money and donations out of people. One of them is a company named, "Vanco". That pushes Auto pay. Vanco takes a percentage. Check out who owns this business... Its obscene. Almost as bad as when I found out that many churches are sold as "Franchises". These franchises are based on a monetary agreement with set minimum limits that are required to be paid to the corporation. Churches are tax exempt registered limited liability corporations. Edit: Revenue $5.2 Billon in donations 2022 per Vanco. Tax free.
To be fair, Vanco is a credit card and finance processing company. They offer their services to many more organizations besides churches. Their revenue is 153 million. The fact that Christian ideology coerces it's followers into giving them money shouldn't be pushed off as Vancos responsibility.
Vanco is okay and provides a reputable service. The people you actually want to attack are probably much bigger fish who are part of big churches. To be fair, I went to smallish churches. No megas for me. We didn't have this kind of thing. We probably couldn't have afforded the ability to do this stuff. Small churches cost a lot to operate and so even a 5 % cut would have been disastrous. And no way in hell were we getting the kind of tithes that we needed to justify a Vanco processing fee. (look, I'm an atheist. so I'm not defending the church. I just think this comment isn't accurate.) As for franchises.. it's not quite the way you call it. It's more like membership dues. With that, you are part of a larger group of churches. They have different names for it as well - for example, I think the methodists have synods. The fees aren't that much. What do these synods do? Well, any church could be part of it. All it is would be types of committees and it's meant to make major decisions that would impact all the churches. It polices the doctrines of that particular denominational faith. For example, the split in the methodist church was because half the church wants to be pro-lgbt and the other half did not. Then, you have censuring sort of processes for example... say a pastor has a complaint. Who does this pastor go to? I don't know how active you were as a member in the church or how high you went...but, my experience has been council + pastor. The council has a lot of power and it can get very interesting. Think of the pastor as a manager then.. You can absolutely go it on your own and be an independent church. It's more shady. More pop up over night business. They do make bank. There's less oversight. That's what the synod provides so you can be assured that going to St. Ann's vs. St. Michaels in different states will have the same doctrinal beliefs. In addition, we have some protections such as care for our pastors..insurances, retirement.. things like that. Group purchasing in essence via the synod. I get why you relate it to a franchise. However, I don't think the franchise owners have the kind of power that these churches have. Nor do the fees seem comparable. Think of it more as a commune structure/members club. Sure, you pay a synod fee but it's not an onerous fee. It's like paying your gym membership bill.
Yeah. Whenever someone leaves the church it's quite common for those who remain to claim that person was never a true believer to begin with. Never mind that a lot of the most staunch atheists I know of were at one time equally fervent believers. This is why, regardless of the actual existence or nonexistence of any sort of higher power, I've always despised organized religion. I have my folks to thank for that since they made the deliberate choice not to raise my siblings and I in any specific religion. That way we could come to it or not by our own choice.
I left the Catholic Church. I went to St. Agnes Middle School in Jefferson, Louisiana, and I was not only badly bullied by students. I was also badly bullied by the teachers themselves just because I was different. That really opened my eyes to what religion especially the Catholic Church was about and so I decided at the age of 12 that wanting nothing more to do with the Catholic Church or with christianity all together. That was the best decision I've made in my entire life.
When I was younger I got in trouble once for calling the Baptist Church we were attending my weekly flogging session. It was a independent Baptist Church. The pastor would speak for 45 minutes. No matter what the passage was the sermon was 42 1/2 minutes of how horrible rotten evil a scum bag everyone was. The last 2 1/2 minutes was all about Jesus and this atonement sacrifice. After that, we sung 87,000 verses ( at least it seemed that way) of Just As I Am. I think every week some went forward to "get saved" just to stop the music. Kristi, I really enjoy your videos. I have found them extremely helpful. Thanks
The Baptist church I went to taught hell fire, brimstone and damnation, guilting, gaslighting and everything else you mentioned. I also change to a non Denominational church but the hand raising, swaying and band playing really turned me off. Thank you for your views. They are the ones I’ve had for a long time and didn’t know how to express them.
You are correct. As a former Lutheran pastor, the pressure on me from certain “pillars” of the church to fill the pews struck me as disgusting. I said to my elders: “I can fill our pews week after week; it’s easy, but I can’t live with that idea.”
Preach it, sister!! :-) I went to an IFB church for a long time and I kept nodding my head each time you mentioned how the person in authority(usually the pastor), kept raising his voice and pounding the pulpit to get your attention!
My mind is gone, you are blowing it apart 🤯🤯🤯 I have listened to hours of deconstruction content, I've known of the fact that religion is similar to an abusive relationship, but not aware enough.
When you ask a religious person. How do you know theirs a god? They all say just have faith...so if you have faith to believe in God. It means they dont know.
When Christians say about evil is caused by free will, are there free will in heaven? Apologists say that in heaven, you won't have desire to sin but does that mean there is no free will in heaven? Yeah I'm not buying into it
You can use that truth to put fundamentalists into a corner: There is no freewill in heaven because we cannot sin once we get there. But we still authentically love and worship god even though our freewill is gone. This proves that it was entirely within the realm of possibility for god to have caused Adam and Eve to authentically love and worship God, but without giving them freewill. The upshot is that god is without excuse, he did not "need" to give us freewill to make true love possible. In that case, we are reasonable to suggest that the reason god gave people such an unnecessary thing like freewill, is because he himself is evil, and he would probably get bored if he didn't set up other people for a fall so he could have something to bitch about.
I think this has to be one of the most concise and succinct evaluations of religious manipulation of emotions and the mind that I have ever heard on RUclips, if not anywhere else. Comparing the war-god of Abraham to the emotional level of a manipulative high school bf/gf is brilliant and dead-on balls accurate! I was glad to grant near an hour to watching it twice. Great work, and worth everyone's time, as well as worth sharing everywhere!
Really enjoying your channel. I really like your presentation, and thanks for including the versus from the book. Hope your doing well and continue making these videos 👍
It's quite amazing that belief, which is no more than opinion or suggestion without evidence, is given a higher degree of respectability than truths, facts, evidence. Religious belief is the dark birthchild of ego and hubris, mixed with fear, subtle and devious psychological manipulation. It preys on the best and worst of human attributes: naivete, trust, love, hate, need of group support, fear of rejection, by devious gaslighting, all in the pursuit of power over the minds of the gullible and foolish.
This is a superb video, the points you cover are expertly presented and described, you have excellent insight and analysis. You are doing a very good service.
Agreed! bc of this its so hard to not see myself as crazy. I mean, emotional and psychological abuse isn't tangible. It has results but its not tangible (like a broken bone or a bruise on your face). I remember telling someone about the IFB I grew up in. and I remember thinking he's trying to take advantage of me, like he saw an opportunity to keep the abuse wound in place to put me to work for him.
Kristi, I hope you are well and on your way back to your center but we miss you and your insight. If you could give us and update on about when or even if you are coming back, that would be helpful. If that's not in the cards right now, I understand that too. Take care of yourself.
100% spot on! Thank you for this video! It really is hard to leave when your a preachers daughter. I was raised in the church. My "father" is a preacher. We suffered this manipulation even at home. My mom was the first to break free. Then my sister and I. We grew up and saw the truth of my "father" for what he really was. I wish more people would. Unfortunately, my brother is still under his control and manipulation and hangs on to every word he says. The whole congregation at his church refuses to believe my sister or I. I know he will never change and no matter how much I speak out, no one will listen. They are all blinded by him. I just want my little brother back. But the church nor my "Father" is willing to let him go. He has that one last hook to make people believe what my "father" says is true.
I'm so sorry for what you and your family have experienced. It can be so difficult to walk away, and then to have to suffer the loss of family is even more devastating. I'm wishing you so much peace and happiness. The same for your brother 🩷
as a catholic we were constantly told that we had killed Jesus - in detail - and as a 5 or 6 year old that is truly abusive. YOU ARE AMAZING thank you for this work!
An excellent video, covering a wide range of manipulation tactics, but there's still a large amount of them that weren't covered here. For instance the use of music to draw out specific emotions, so that you mistakenly attribute those emotions to the thing currently being talked about, instead of to the music that's actually causing it. Ever hear an old nostalgic song and IMMEDIATELY find yourself reliving the emotions of the time period you last heard it in? Music was the string tying together an event and an emotion. This happens automatically to most people in most circumstances to varying degrees, but can also be intentionally used to force an association where one hasn't been earned, like between positive feelings and an absentee God. Learning about and understanding the subconscious goings-on of your brain can help you see through some of these manipulators. Because if they understand you better than you understand yourself, you have no hope of escaping any traps they may set. And that right there is the exact reason they warn people away from "evil scientists". The ones who can cleanly and clearly explain precisely how they're abusing you.
You are so right about the music played in church. I haven't stepped foot in a church for about 50 years, but I still love the songs and melodies, and remember most of the verses.
Hi music is powerful and one could recognise it as being spiritual. Remember how angry and vengeful King Saul was to David when the evil spirit afflicted his thoughts. David played music to him to calm him when Saul had his episodes of anger.
Great video, Kristi! A GREAT basic education in manipulation tactics that everyone should know or be aware of. And I got news for you - these manipulation tactics aren't exclusive to Christianity - I've seen them used in other religions and cults as well, from nudism to Buddhism - not to mention in dysfunctional and abusive relationships, too. The introductory section in which you reminded your viewers that these manipulation tactics may not always be conscious was also very good, and necessary as well. Heck - the abusive preacher in your church might be abusing and manipulating you because that's how he was raised by his dad, who was also an abusive preacher himself.
The abusive preacher was certainly abused. The basic ideology of Christianity is abusive. To be indoctrinated into believing you need an invisible savior to clean the invisible scum off your malformed heart is pure abusive coercion. It's blatant grooming of mental illness hidden behind the alluring deceit of "He Loves You".
Um truth is, you are not wrong, And I know how crazy people can be. And I just wanna say, A lot of “Christian’s” claim to hear from God and you look at their life and it’s not what God wants, it’s full of immaturity and they say thus says the LORD when God has not spoken a word to them. And in the OT, God was against the “prophets” who prophecied lies and He said that He never sent them and whenever the priests where teaching things that God didn’t want and going in a bad direction, God sent prophets to warn the priests that their way was corrupt and that they should repent and also Jesus said few Christian’s are born again. I am a Christian, I’ll always be one, it just makes the most sense to me. Yes, there are things I don’t understand and that doesn’t really matter in the long run. You say that I have an imaginary friend, that doesn’t bother me in the slightest and it’s so easy for people to say, I can fully understand why you see it that way. Every belief system has pros, cons, and questions. If I quit being a Christian, and be an atheists, I’m going to have questions that are difficult to answer. At least being a Christian, I can at least have hope about some things like death. and the fact that Jesus, the King of all Kings chose to die for me, is amazing. No one knows I exist, and yet this King died for my wrongs and wants to clean me of all my wrongs and wants to have a relationship with Me, that’s something that I will always cherish. And I personally don’t want to believe in nothing after death and I don’t want to believe in reincarnation. Atheists made fun of me believing in Heaven and I’m like why? Lol Everybody thinks they are right and I’m over hear looking at death in the face and you don’t see many people doing that Anyways sorry for the ramble lol
@@ericscaillet2232 If they don’t believe in an afterlife whatsoever, why are they fighting so hard? Shouldn’t it all be meaningless? All these atheists talk about is death and what’s after death, it’s like, either you do believe in an afterlife or you don’t simply by how much you want to talk about it. It’s really that simple. If I was an atheist, I would let people believe what they want and not try to change things, because all my efforts are useless in the end. if I genuinely believe nothing exists after death, and everyone goes there in the end, what’s my reward for changing their minds? Why change peoples minds when it doesn’t matter? Leave it up to the spiritual people to debate and change peoples minds about what’s after death. The atheists should have no part in trying to change people’s minds when they themselves don’t believe. It’s stupid. I didn’t really gain anything from it.
@@aheartonfire7191 BECAUSE there are millions of Xtians who are hell bent on shoving their Iron Age belief sysytem into government policies. IF Xtians were just going about their business WITHOUT EFFECTING OTHERS, no one would care.
Great topic!! The whole religious experience is having others build beliefs for you. Because if you are like me you have never "felt" any communication coming directly from God. It really s like "The Emperor's new clothes" There is nothing there, but you are told repeatedly that your sin is making you deaf to God's attempts to help you.
I have felt communication from realms beyond human, but not from that fake horrible monster who's the god of the Abrahamic faiths. Trying to do that is like repeatedly dialing a number you already know is the wrong number, and hoping it'll work.
I think the worst part of the church's normalization of emotional abuse is how those of us raised by christian families couldn't escape the manipulation even at home, and in fact... we were taught to carry that emotional manipulation with us, in our way of seeing the world, so that in time we become our own abusers.
That's so true. So much of the pain and trauma comes from how one is treated by their own family, which is a direct result of the indoctrination of christian ideologies.
Yes, yes, YES!!! Autistic and gay woman here, raised in a Southern Baptist fundamentalist church. I’m 46 years old, and dealing with decades of trauma from the church, my family, and as you said, from myself. I hate it, I’ve never been able to shake it, live as my true self, and learn not to hate myself. I HATE what Christian’s, the church, their god, I hate what they turned me into.
@@vadouis-rt3of Is jesus the son of god or both. Which one do you pick?
@@vadouis-rt3of Jesus has not done anything, that's the point. Lmfao
Neglect...
And lack of tidying up...@@vadouis-rt3of
I was called a "Radical Skeptic" from my pastor for questioning Christianity when I genuinely wasn't convinced anymore from a few months of basic research about the bible. I thought that was pretty good leadership lol spot on Kristi
@@vadouis-rt3of The answer should only be hard to accept if it is not true.
Me too. I asked questions all the time. Questioning the church was NOT acceptable. Even fear couldn't keep me in this faith back then.
@@deewesthill1213the exact opposite is true, or were you playing sarcasism.
I’m Orthodox and have zero issues with questions plus I read church history like Polycarp I would never let others including friends who are Christian or atheist tell me what to believe, I would did my own research and found Orthodoxy true nobody forced me into it
I was kicked out of "Children's Church" when I was 5 because I asked questions they couldn't answer! LOL
Finally, someone who is talking about the psychology of religious teaching tactics. I've always said or related god as being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist. Great job. 👍🏻
I've seen a couple of other videos on this topic. This one is by far the most complete I've seen. Love Kristi's videos.
I was literally just making that comparison 5 minutes ago on my Facebook.
It actually is like being in an narcissistic and emotionally abusive relationship…
I have this image in my head of the god of christianity nailing his child on the cross and then turning around and saying: 'look what you made me do' with a psychopath smirk... if the shoe fits, I'd say... although most people are just indoctrinated into it and forget about the 'bigger picture' and just focus on the suffering of the 'poor sacrificial lamb' figure of jezus...
If god exists he’s more narcissistic than Trump …and that’s saying something!
I’ll never forget being told by the church that it was my fault as to why I am hard of hearing. I was prayed over many times and was never healed. I was told that God will not heal me because I had some sin in my
life. I was 7 years old
SUBMISSIVENESS and OBEDIENCE VS. DEFIANCE and DISBOBEDIENCE
Who is the Creator?
ANSWER -
Jesus Christ KNOWS
the Creator is the True and Sovereign God as written in Matthew 22:37 and John 17: 3
What is the worth, value, and importance of submissiveness and obedience to imperfect, suffering, and dying human beings?
ANSWER -
Jesus Christ KNOWS
that the submissiveness and obedience of imperfect, suffering, and dying human beings to his authority and teachings about the "Kingdom of God" and "Resurrection of the Dead" as written in Matthew 28:18, Luke 4: 43, and John 11: 25, 26
will definitely bring them honor and the Creator's favor and reward of ETERNAL LIFE and existence on earth without sufferings, pains, griefs, sickness, and death as written in Revelation 21: 3, 4.
What is the consequence of defiance and disobedience to imperfect, suffering, and dying human beings?
ANSWER -
Atheists and Evolutionists
who are openly and proudly filling the world with their lie and false claim that the Creator is worthless, cruel, merciless, and undeserving to be honored and respected as the True and Sovereign God
and
Jehovah's Witnesses, SDAs, Mormons, Baptists, Catholics, Born Again Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, and fanatic members of all kinds of Religions
who are openly and deliberately misleading and deceiving their own families, friends, and neighbors to believe their lies and false teachings about "Armageddon", "immortality of the souls or the heaven and hellfire doctrine", "Trinity", "rapture", and "reincarnation"
KNOW
and are fully aware that their willful disobedience and defiance of the Creator's Sovereignty and his Christ's authority and teachings
will definitely bring them dishonor, disgrace, shame, and cause their own downfall and ETERNAL DEATHS, just worthless and useless dusts on earth forever.
What is the worth, value, and importance of the "Kingdom of God" and "Resurrection of the Dead"?
ANSWER -
The Creator KNOWS
that he didn't create human beings with immortal souls and they will just become worthless and useless dusts on earth after their deaths just like the animals as written in Ecclesiastes 3: 19, 20 ; 9: 5, 6
but
all his worshippers who died recently and thousands of years ago like Abel, Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Job, Naomi, Ruth, King David, Jesus Christ's disciples and followers, and many others will not remain as worthless and useless dusts on earth forever,
instead,
in the right and proper time and as written in John 11: 25, 26,
he will let Jesus Christ RESURRECT them back to life so they can all happily and abundantly live and exist on earth forever as submissive and obedient subjects of the "KINGDOM of GOD" or His Kingdom
and fully enjoy his and his Christ's eternal love, kindness, goodness, compassions, generosities, favors, and blessings for eternity under the loving and kind rulership, guidance, and protection of Jesus Christ as his Chosen King and Ruler of the heavens and the earth as written in Revelation 11: 15.
What the heck 😢..... To a 7 yo 😮.... That's crazy and wild.
I'm a Christian and I was going through this comment section very sad at all the clear hurt people have gone through. I found Christ in 2020 but before that as a child I ended up leaving Christianity because of religious trauma at a pentecostal church at 13. That religious trauma shoved me into being agnostic and a new ager for years. Thankfully Christ got ahold of me in adult hood and I became a born again Christian. I'm not writing this to convert you but let you know I can come from a place of understanding. The first time I entered a church again as an adult I was seething, shaking, angry, hurt, and I let the pastor know what harm Christians did to me as a child (thankfully he was kind and I landed in a good baptist church this time around.) It still hurts to this day what people did to me as a child, but I learned what's biblically accurate - it's a walk and personal relationship with Jesus, not others. My faith is in Christ because he is perfect, my faith is not in people because they will inevitably let you down as they're flawed. I'm saved by the grace of God alone, not other people. I do good works not because it saves me, but because I am saved and want to please God - not people. Jesus died on that cross for you and he loves you. I know it won't mean much coming from me but i'm so sorry you ever went through that and it should have never happened to you. Do you know what your name means in Hebrew if it's truly Samuel? "God has heard."
@@snowberriesxI grew up Baptist. It was my pastor who helped me leave it all.
He asked me one day, "why do you hate God?"
I was dumbfounded. I believed, except I liked hard rock, metal & punk music & the satanic panic was still a thing at the time. But I was judged solely on the music I liked...at least by some people.
& Once when I ask a question about something I didn't understand. I wasn't being "defiant" or questioning the legitimacy, I just didn't understand.
The only answer I could get was "you shouldn't question God." Literally a non-answer.
If it works for you, that's great. I have no problem with anyone just because they believe. My problem was not getting any answers from the people who claimed they had all the answers.
No I don’t think so. AINT “nobody die on a cross” for me. That is just straight up GASLIGHTING at its finest! ! Probably the greatest manipulation tactic ever designed by the religion itself. So guess what?! NO! Why would anyone need to die brutally on a cross for ME?!?! What I wasn’t even alive then-let’s assume that this did take place which obviously it did NOT, but for argument sake purposes- then why would someone else feel the need to sacrifice anything for me ?!?! Why?! Let me guess because I was born a sinner?? Well I am not a born sinner !! Who said I was born a sinner?? Because you do know that sinner also means corrupt, depraved, evildoer, murderous, immoral right?! Well that describes the god of the Bible !! That’s not who I am because I am a BORN CONSCIOUS SENTIENT HUMAN BEING with a true capacity of evolving. I trust my consciousness WAY MORE than a book full of fairytales sorry. I mean come on “Jesus” was not even explicitly mentioned in the Old Testament!! Not to mention that the letter J was not even in the alphabet until year 1524! So who is this great “Jesus” that supposedly died for me on a cross?! Seems like a fairytale to keep people actively from using their own inherent mental faculties. I will never AGAIN do such of a dehumanizing practice to myself EVER again. Period. Whether “Jesus” did in fact exist or not is irrelevant because I am not born a sinner so therefore his supposed sacrifice on a cross does NOT apply to me in any way. That’s just applying 7 year old’s logic. And Ever since I have left the church on my own many others at the same church who have been struggling forcefully suppressing their mental faculties seek my advice and I give it to them. And a week later they LEFT the church as well in its entirety. In year 2024 we are done with MANIPULATION and GASLIGHTING PERIOD.
Fear, guilt and shame are definitely used to keep the people in the church
@@christophergibson7155 I'm sorry that you're not able to understand
@@christophergibson7155
Son of Satan Christopath don't insult my many Chinese friends named "Sin." We reserve the right to sue.
@@christophergibson7155 again I understand your point, but every single person is a sinner and judging others because of their beliefs is against the words of God 🙏🙏. When you're a student of history and religion you're able to learn things that aren't in the Bible, I was for 55 years and I have been studying for over 20 years now and have a few degrees in Theology which makes others think that I'm an automatic sinner or something, I spend 65% of my day in study of ancient books 📚. So I'm definitely dedicated to learning more about religion
Humble yourself before the lord Jesus Christ
@@holotrout I don't argue with trolls
Love how when you tell a church you’re going to leave it for another or that you have reached the conclusion that you no longer believe in their deity, they all of a sudden start acting like a toxic ex-partner. “Where you going to go? If this isn’t real then NOTHING is. NOBODY is going to love you the way OUR God loves you. You’re absolutely NOTHING without US in your life”.
Exactly. They always tell me I was never a Christian in the first place. That kind of makes them FAKE Christians then.
Politicians and Preachers are Narcissistic. Some are Psychopaths, but they are all parasitic.
Sounds like demonization to me, not ‘the church’
@@holotrout It IS demonization. But unfortunately, it is very, VERY common in churches to this day. Worked as a social worker for a decade. Had former clients privately and publicly shunned because they leaved their former church and had this rhetoric thrown at them over and over again. Unfortunately, the Bible would absolutely back up people who shun them and that is my issue. There is no “the church”. There are 45,000 different denominations of Christianity in the US alone. 100 different interpretations of the Bible that you can use and all of it can and IS used against people who walk away from their church for that reason. Because that church KNOWS it’s “the true church” so walking away from that is a spit in the face of that idea.
@@holotrout
Demons are always used to deflect responsibility. Other words, IGNORANCE.
Uuuuuugh the whole "silent treatment" thing. I told a former church member that when I was afraid I was losing my faith, I cried out to God to not let me go, and to do something to reassure me that he was really there. I had never in my life been more sincere in my desire to stay in God's hands than I was in those moments. And after a long time of hearing the same nothing I had always heard, and understanding that it really was always nothing, I finally understood that I was no longer a believer.
He emailed me this: "This one is tough because we all go through times when God seems silent. In a similar situation, I would examine my own heart. Why? Isaiah 59 tells us that God can be selective in our hearing if we are coming to Him in an unrepentant way (I am not pointing a finger, just pointing out a truth I have been convicted of in my own life.)"
So basically I can pray all day and night for months on end, but I can "do it wrong" and God won't answer because of that. If he were real, fuck him.
There is no him.
Just a big line of lies and manipulation stretching back thousands of years.
Fuck everyone who coerced you into believing lies, superstitions, and misinformation.
However it's important to keep in mind that they were all coerced and manipulated too.
I found Kristi through Tiktok forever ago, and honestly one of the best quotes she gave us that's helped me is "if an all-knowing God is only answering prayers according to His will, then the only prayers He's answering is his own". And that's stuck with me for the longest time because it was when I was early in my deconstruction of my faith and it hit me so hard.
@@laurarobin6311 No, Laura, her infantile argument just shows how ignotant she is. if this is one of her 'best' quotes, I wouldn't like to see her worst ones!
I think your last sentence shows the true state of your heart. It just took a period of silence to reveal it.
I assume you’re still alive though and have wi-fi, a roof over your head, a bed to sleep on, food in the fridge and clothes on your back? But no doubt your bitterness is totally justified because God didn’t give you a miracle.
@@simoncordingley3122 Absolutely right, simon. I know a man who cursed at God because God didn't immediately respond to his prayer request to give him 20=20 vision. This man uses foul language and makes filthy 'jokes' in front of women and their little children, mocks those who pray and read the bible, calling them 'pharisees', and yet still claims to be a Christian because he once 'put his faith in' Christ, many years ago.. When I advised him to reconsider his claim to be a believer, he took offence and accused me of being judgemental
This blog is a pity-party for people who blame God for the bad treatment they've received from ignorant churches, and from believers who are led by the nose by 'pastors' who are ignorant concerning the scriptures, and who mistake the exuberance of the manipulated religious flesh for the work of the Holy Spirit.
They are easy prey for the silly mixed-up girl who makes these videos, and who no doubt makes a living wage out of it.
You don't have to be an atheist to know that everything she's talking about is true.
A lot of what she is saying is lies
@@dickersoncharlie4961
That's not much of a claim without evidence. Do you not understand this?
@@christophergibson7155 You're one of the people she's talking about in the video. You always blame the unbeliever or the person who's struggling with their faith and you never have the humility to consider that you might be at least partly to blame.
@@christophergibson7155You seem powerfully triggered at the idea that you may be following a false religion. You should look into that, maybe by talking to a therapist.
@@G_DemolishedExplain how its a false religion
College students are also incredibly vulnerable to evangelical manipulation as well. What with traumatized frat/sorority has-beens and all of that overwhelming academic and social pressure, it makes an ideal hunting ground for indoctrination.
Especially when it is a religious college.
Most colleges are notorious for their far left indoctrination than their religious manipulation nowadays. We all have seen that with massive pro Palestinian rallies all accross the colleges lately.
As if they all have one common agenda and protest every other opinion. I don't think that's any better. I can't think of an institution that provides a neutral ground for equal opportunities to voice our opinions without being forced to take sides and support a certain ideology.
@@raya.p.l5919 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A lot of what colleges are teaching is indoctrination. Also telling someone you have value and and care about your struggles is not indoctrination
This is soo true. I see religious groups and Mormons all the time trying to indoctrinate college students at the I go to get homework done.
Some time ago I decided I would attend a midnight Xmas service at Truro Cathedral, which is High Anglican. I've always been an atheist, but I wanted to experience this event as a way of understanding. I thought I would find it quaint but celebratory. Instead, I found it highly disturbing. It felt exactly like a cult. The sermon fed directly on people's fears and frailties. The constant reiteration of "we will always love you" might sound harmless out of context, but in an environment of heightened emotion it was a clear way of taking control. My wife - an ex-Catholic - thought my reaction was funny, but I was genuinely perturbed by what I witnessed.
Damn dude
yes! normal people you see most days or converse with in the street suddenly display a mental illness when in a church setting . I have witnessed it myself recently . It is very disturbing.
I'm english, from england, and when I pass churches im often impressed by how they look, but then i find myself thinking, 'This is a temple to human sacrifice'.
@@whitemountainapache3297 " 'This is a temple to human sacrifice'."
Actually christian beliefs were a way to stop actual human and animal sacrifices from pagan religions that came before it. Having this mythical sacrifice that ended all future sacrifices satiated the blood lust people used to expect from their religions.
Jesus won't force you to love him, but he'll condemn you to eternal pain and suffering if you don't. Sounds like forcing to me, buddy.
If your giving an organization money week after week for a "reward" that you'll recieve after you're dead, yeah you're being manipulated.
Absolutely this.
@@vadouis-rt3of Unfortunately, she was murdered.
@@jezebelvibes Hi Kristi -- Have you ever brainstormed with Dr Bart D Ehram/YT???
@@vadouis-rt3of what does love have to do with the price of beer?
Giving an organization money week after week for a "reward" after your dead would also describe life insurance, interestingly.
My first church boyfriend used to sing a song with a lyric along the lines of "Does He still feel the nails every time I fail?" Like, WTF? The idea that my 15-year-old self was hurting Jesus every time I fibbed or had an unholy thought seems crazy in hindsight.
My daughter and I still laugh our butrs off replaying this sermon we heard about how we need to drink the juice of the Lord, getting on our knees to open up for Jesus, swallowing the joy of the Lord, this was southern Baptist. They also had a sign that said Let Jesus be your Pokémon. I'm laughing just writing this because I cannot do that sermon justice. It was the most homoerotic sermon I've ever heard in an actual church. 😂😂😂😂
Should be illegal lol
Well, he did say 'Behold, I come quickly' Revelation 3 11.
That makes me wonder what LGBT-affirming church sermons must sound like! I keep picturing Jesus on the cross in heavy leather, LOL!
@@darlalathan6143 hey I think that guy did too
@@DocReasonableYet we've been waiting for two millenia for his second coming.
Thank you for explaining the concept of gaslighting. If you are not making the other person doubt him/herself as a person, you are not gaslighting. And every church I know gaslights the hell out of every gullible person they find.
Vulnerable not gullible.
@@neriumkristina I meant gullible. In our society we are far too prone to declare ourselves as victims, so I am very careful about the use of the word "vulnerable".
@@neriumkristina Vulnerable and/or gullible
Just lying is not gaslighting, but gaslighting is lying. People commonly make that mistake now.
@@andresvillarreal9271 In fact, the word 'gullible', though we use it a lot in everyday speech, is not actually to be found in any dictionary.
I believe my dad said the moment that a lot clicked for him and when he decided to leave the church was when he was discussing something unrelated to theology or belief (I think it involved a choral arrangement) with a church leader and the guy sprang "would you be willing to yield to the wisdom of the church?" and suddenly many things that were circulating in his mind in a disconnected way about how people were treated and the abuse of authority all fit together. It's very interesting to me that the moment that caused it was so minor and unrelated to the worse aspects of abuse going on.
I'm very glad that my parents didn't raise me and my sister in religion. She would have been consumed by guilt and I would have gone angry and self-destructive.
It was probably because it was so minor. Leveraging his position like that for something so inconsequential, I would speculate, put the formula on display in the clearest, most unambiguous terms. When bossman wants you to do something, he speaks with "the wisdom of the church." It's the thought terminating cliche of Job."Who are you to question God?" that the church often employs to their own benefit.
Kristi... keep up the good work. 😎
As a lifelong atheist I watch your channel mostly for entertainment. However I am extremely impressed at the way you manage to phrase seemingly obvious common-sense questions about religious beliefs in such a straightforward and accessible manner.
(And I do find it humorous how offended so many apologists seem to get when asked to provide direct answers to simple questions or simple explanations for things that either just plain don't make sense or that put their beliefs in an unfavorable light.)
Thank you so much! :)
@@jezebelvibesYeah, I'm agnostic & common sense tells me there is no way that a creator of the Universe has anything to do with the Bible.
As a child, I was instructed to imagine Jesus' mangled body on the cross every time I was tempted to disobey my parents or sin in any way.
I was also encouraged to imagine scenarios where someone asked if I was a Christian at the point of death and pray that through the strength of Christ I would value His name more than my life or comfort.
Because of that conditioning, as an adult I suffer from intrusive thoughts of people trying to kill me or imagining horrific gore.
Thanks, church. Definitely things nine-year olds need to ponder.
Healthy, and definitely not a form of child abuse.
I’m glad I sheltered my children from that abuse, before I left.
Oh man, this is such a common experience from 90s/00s youth scene. I'm sorry you experienced that. I remember reading "she said yes" and thinking that it could be a real possibility I would be martyred for my faith. It's such a terrible fear to instill in kids :(
We Christians need to listen to experiences like yours and repent of the practices that caused you so much harm.
@@PolymorphicPenguinNO you don't need to believe the bs without good reason and evidence.
Hugely relate to this. The intrusive thoughts of violence due to a childhood spent fantasizing about martyrdom is a big thing that haunts me as an adult, and I haven't heard anyone else describe having that same experience. Thanks for your comment, it's weirdly comforting in an awful sort of way to know I'm not alone in that, I guess.
I was brought up to think my heart was deceitfully wicked, I’d say this was the biggest manipulation tactic used, that I was born evil and cannot trust my own feelings, mind or judgment. I really think this is why I stayed as long as I did, thankfully I fully destructed by age 30, I’m 33 now. Still working through some things but I’m pretty lucky my husband is super supportive and our kids are not being indoctrinated.
Thank you for breaking the cycle!!!
J power. Warning . intense
❤
Good for you, I'm glad you had the strength to follow your heart!
@@raya.p.l5919 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ju don't know what you're talking about power.
@@christophergibson7155 a perfect example of love manipulation. Talk about Jesus loving people by dying on the cross to help his father's wrath and yet still people have to believe in Jesus to be saved from his wrath that he still has after brutally killing his son, and then has a horrible transmission Methode for this message, and if you don't believe it on blind faith with no supporting evidence just a book of unverifiable claims then you get to take a fire bath forever. This isn't Love even by biblical definitions, this is a horror death cult that demands obedience through fear and manipulation.
20 + years in the "Assembly of god " cult church, I heard the phrase "Get out of your comfort zone" so many times from the pulpit. They were big on breaking down your personal barriers and forcing you to let your guard down. They made a huge deal out of giving up your own rights / privacy / boundaries all for the sake of the "body", the "family" of the church. It creeped me out and I hated it. If you held back and didn't willingly do everything the preacher said, you were viewed as resisting "the spirit". It was a total manipulative program to break people down and take away their individuality. Everything about "you" is wrong, and "we" are here to fix that.
I can still remember the time Rodney Howard Browne came to Maui (I was a member of AOG there and we'd get a lot of speakers, you know, it's Maui...lol, can you say, "tax deductable va-cay?").
There were people laying all over the floor....it was nutso. What got me questioning things was that they'd go around with blankets to cover women's legs for modesty. Okay, fair enough, but this woman falls right in front of me with an ankle length sun dress and dutifully they covered her ankles. But, you know, they didn't cover her top, where in her bra-less state, laying on the floor, well.....let's just say, that spagetti strap top...wow, so, I'm thinking, okay, if these people aren't just mindless sheep, wouldn't they not worry about her ankles and cover her cleavage?
It took a few more years and a major crisis before I left the church (I'd left AOG but just moved into another pentacostal cultish environment, Vineyard), but I'll never forget that woman's boobs and how they showed me that people are just dancing along with the Pied Piper and there's no "Spirit of God" in the building, guiding the saints, and changing lives, blah, blah, blah...
@@michaelsbeverlyHow strangely funny! 😂 But how genuinely accurate!!!
@@michaelsbeverly what a powerful testimony. The power of boobs saved you from delusion. Hallelujah! Praise be to those glorious boobs 👀🙌
The entire schtick of the church is: “you’re a sinner and unwell. Come to our church and we’ll “cure” you, for a price.”
That sounds like manipulation to me.
Flawless analysis Kristi. You have become one of the greatest critical thinkers alive. Truly amazing.
Yup.
@Nomads4216
Sad awakening? Christians are only obsessed with a story. Your in love with the story and not the reality of the story. You folks are in for a surprise, a really good surprise!
Right? And Dont forget her verbal talent of conveying her critical thoughts. Not all have a gift of that
@rubytuesday1316
Kristi says what most of us is thinking, but can't articulate like she does. She's makes it almost sound poetic.
@@razony Amen! Many youtube channels, Instagrams, TikTok Etc. are coming forward but something unique with Kristie
The whole "game" of churches guilting people into compliance (which I DEFINITELY experienced growing up in the church) reminds me of a Deep Thought by Jack Handy:
Child: Daddy, where does the rain come from?
Father: Well, God is crying.
Child: why is God crying?
Father: I don't know but it's probably because of something YOU did
"Look at all I've done for you!"
"I didn't ask..."
Capital 'M' for manipulation.
@@JustReed Capital*
To be fair the world would be a better place with kindness like Jesus himself.
Thank you for all you’re doing for people, like myself, who grew up indoctrinated in the Christian faith. I have been devouring your videos over the last couple of weeks and have learned something from every single one of them. Every deconstruction is a unique story, but I want you to know that your videos have helped me immensely in my journey. Keep it up, Kristi! We need more voices speaking the truth!
What is truth and how can we know it?
What is truth?
Pilate asks, “Quid est veritas?” and Jesus responds, “Est vir qui adest” or, “It is the man who is here.”
As usual, Kristi, you do an amazing job at breaking down how much Christianity damages people’s psyches and emotions. Thank you and keep up the good fight!
that actually brings up a good point
HERE IS AN IDEA FOR KRISTI
BRING IN A PSYCHOLOGIST ON THE SHOW
Ask the Psychologist to describe what happens when people follow something that isn't real to an extreme.
what happens to the belief system and what impact does this have on NORMAL PSYCHOLOGY
I already know the answers.
but.. it does make for a very interesting discussion
Kristi is fantastic. 👍
@@Amazing_Mark
Kristi is just TRUTH
For her being Truth she is sure telling a bunch of lies
@@dickersoncharlie4961
no shes not. what lies ?
Personally, after spending nearly 20 yrs (age10-28) in the pentecostal/charismatic/evangelical church, deeply committed, becoming a missionary, spending a year in Israel, learning Hebrew, learning about judaism and islam and the numerous varieties of christianity, graduating with a degree in biblical studies from a prominent evangelical Christian university...when somebody tells me i never really gave my heart to the lord, it shows me they have absolutely no idea what they are talking about.
Yes, you hit the nail on the head, as a little boy growing up in church the pastor always said those things and it frightened me, making me feel worthless, like it's my fault bad things happen to me, people around me and because of my nasty, disgusting sinful nature😟🤨
Thank you for helping SO MANY others to escape the vicious cycle of manipulation and abuse and to find emotional HEALTH. I was part of “the cult” of being “one of the chosen” and “one with God.” I am now so sorry for the abuse I passed on to others including my own children!
Keep up your kind approach! ❤️☮️😀
I'm happy you got out. Give yourself a lot of patience and compassion. Thanks so much for the support!
She’s leading people astray from our father and creator. Open your eyes
@@holotrout My eyes are better now than 50 years ago. Religions of ALL KINDS rely on manipulation, deception, and arrogant “knowledge” of what “God said.”
Nobody has ever shown any evidence of ANY god saying ANYTHING. If a god wants to talk, it can communicate clearly and in every language.
They are either deceived themselves (as I was for far too long before REALLY studying religions) or they want your $$$.
Some do some “good works”, but at the expense of teaching people to ignore reality in exchange for myths and lies.
And you fulfil John 14:12, please.
Do - it.@@holotrout
@@holotroutApparently she's leading YOU astray as well because you seem more obsessed with her channel than you are in worshipping your "God."
I went to a elder at my last church, before I became atheist, to get advice about life struggles. He pretty much told me to just deal with it. I called him later to tell him how he hurt me feelings. He got defensive and started to make up lies about me in regards to past conversations that he and I had together. Getting counseling from non registered church leaders is never a good idea.
I've heard a lot of negative experiences people have had with getting advice from religious leaders. We need to encourage our leaders to do better.
@@raya.p.l5919 Seek a psychiatrist
I can not imagine any reason I'd seek christian advice for any problem I'd have in life. But boy are they willing to give it to you.
@@Cuffsmaster My parents suggested it. They also suggested I get annointed with oil by the main pastor for health issues. It did nothing. When I told them it wouldn't do anything I was told I was being stubborn and resistant to god's commands. It sucks to be raised in christianity.
@@Cuffsmaster 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So true my friend so true.
Thanks for this video. Keep spreading this up Kristi!
I've been manipulated multiple times by a person who's extensively righteous in Christian faith and betrayed me multiple times for being misotheistic and atheistic in order.
I've so many personal experiences with my mental illnesses and sometimes through that righteous person with gaslighting. He said that schizophrenia is the result that you get because of thinking that you're someone selected by god even though you aren't. In other hand, I was gaslighted by so many speeches by the religious party that made me think that I've no salvation.
In my confession at the church, I was threaten once for rejecting god. When I was much worse at my mental illnesses, I saw many gory nightmares even when I was very unfamiliar with such violence and made me sick where prayers didn't work. Later on, I got exposed to horror genre and stopped praying. Now, I barely see such dreams. For being an atheist and exploring horror, he also gaslighted me telling that I couldn't blame anyone for what I would face. I was like, shut the .... off! when I saw him last before he took an action in form of warning me.
Something that I can't agree with Jesus is, how proud he was about himself being a Jew. Remember, that foreign lady? And how he blatantly said that you should treat them as "PAGAN'S" or tax collectors? Also, he's the one who invented the crazy ass idea about hell which brought up so many religious trauma.
Finally, I have got my control up to some extent which allows me to have control over my OCD obsessions. Religion was the greatest barrier to overcome them. These videos helped me a lot in the past.
Jesus Christ is not my personal savior.
You deserve to be treated better. Even if you are an atheist, that is no excuse for us Christians to disrespect you. About the pagans and tax collectors, Eugene Peterson paraphrases it as: "If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love." Jesus wouldn't want us to be mean and nasty to someone just because they don't listen to the church.
@@PolymorphicPenguin I'm glad that you feel that way. I was often bullied for many reasons. They also tried insulting me basing the religion itself. I pretended to be an atheist when I was misotheistic in the past, I could contact god because of my delusions, later on, when I became a devoted Christian who suffers from the mentioned illnesses, he threatened me, blackmailed me telling many things. The speeches in the church also affected whatever the trauma that I felt. And god showed me that righteous person and said that he's mean for you but you shouldn't take any action and should be patient because he's selected and will be glorified in the future(refer to the story of Esau and Jacob) and at the end it happened but I sank down rapidly but when I started becoming an atheist by watching these videos, I started getting back my self confidence little by little. So, now I can at least study and be confident to a certain extent at the examinations. So, my problem is, if god loves us well, how come I face such a horrible fate and if it's just my illness, why was his ability wasn't great enough to let me converse with him in the right way.
So, now I believe, there cannot be a good god or generally no god either with the aid of RUclips videos as well and it's not good for my current health to keep getting harassed by to which I gave life(God).
@@PolymorphicPenguin BTW.... May I know, why he mentions about Pagans then? Why are they considered as the deluded ones? And what has been meant by treating that person as a pagan?
Well, nobody yet knows what He wanted to occur to medieval Jews, or African slaves, say.
Or if so - it's been kept, remarkably quiet.
He certainly, didn't seem in a particular hurry, to be very vocal, or urgent about it - however.
Also, any who... have read 2 Samuel 24, and similar verses...
May find the idea... of 'forgiving love'... not always, convincing...?@@PolymorphicPenguin
I once wrote a poem about this, and you're basically explaining it so I thought I'll share. It's called "Heaven full of thorns".
Last Sunday I came across the one true mouthpiece
He told me he can help my inborn demons be released
He's the only one who can ever set me free
But he bonds me with expectations that will only be increased
Doesn't matter if I suffer as long as he's appeased
Now I owe him my entire life
So he can keep bringing up the sacrifice
Like it's some sort of a hidden knife
Of guilt
For a debt that none of us even built
Whenever fear can be instilled
He talks about prophesy fulfilled
For high attendance makes his ego thrilled
But all I see are souls his righteousness has killed
Instead of helping out the poor and roofless
He worries about who's saved of truth-less
Well the truth is
that a ransom should be useless
unless you're dealing with the ruthless
And don't talk about the corruption of your teacher
Because there's justice and perfection even in his worst feature
There's no bigger sins than the ones of the preacher
Who holds the sword of judgement against every creature
Judging every clothe except the one they have worn
Instead of being a proof of what it means to be reborn
In case you were expecting trumpets and horns
Guess what? Heaven is full of thorns
That’s beautiful and so full of truth, thank you for sharing that!
You're are definitely WRONG .
Heaven is a Truly GLORIOUS place,
Indescribably BEAUTIFUL !!!
@@SoteraSuspiriorum thank you, I appreciate that🫶🏼
@@John-fi5ik
You've been there, have you? Doesn't that mean you're now dead?
I think your fiction needs a little more work. It's just not remotely credible.
@@John-fi5ik So whose imperial star destroyer did you catch a ride on to get there?
Otherwise you were hallucinating.
A prime example of gaslighting is when some churches discourage abused women from leaving their husbands by telling them that their husbands aren't being abusive, but they're just practicing Biblical headship.
Tysm for mentioning how most of these church leaders most likely don't know that what they are doing is abusive. That just made me feel way better being able to move forward from the mistreatment that I got at times from the church.
Many people stopped giving money to churches, and give it to internet apologists instead
A lot of it is programmed so deep people don't realize it's even there.
OP - SO TRUE! Even going through the comments, there are some people who do not care who they hurt or by what means they accomplish their goal of proselytizing. I really like that Kristi decided to do this video to shed some light on these behaviors!
Yes 🙌 x1000000! This is what I suffered from for nearly half of my life. Many years to heal from this complex PTSD. Thanks for pointing out the complexity of manipulation because it is generational and hard to break. We are the lucky ones, in that way. Or our children will be.
Keep on doing what you're doing. I respect your honesty and courage
Thank you!
@@jezebelvibes Thank you Kristi.
@@jezebelvibesShe's a heretic and a narcissist
This spoke to me sooo much. My mental health is bad pretty much always, but it was so much worse when I was in the church, genuinely believing and sincerely searching for god with all my heart. The day I left and realized I no longer believed, such a weight lifted off me. Thank you for always speaking up about these issues!
IM THE SAME. The second I left my church a few months later i all of a sudden felt less stress, less guilt etc. Also I'm 13 and still got pretty bad mental health, getting better but ye. If gods real then he can give me proof. Also question for Christians: if gods all knowing that basicly means he
Chooses who goes up and who goes down if yk what I mean
A little bit of trivia . . . The term "gaslighting" comes from a 1938 play by British author Patrick Hamilton. It is set in Victorian England at a time when houses were routinely illuminated by gaslight. It concerns the efforts of a husband who is trying to drive his wife crazy so he can gain control of her money. The play was originally called "Gaslight" but when it came to America it was renamed "Angel Street." It was made into a successful film in 1942 called, "Gaslight." In the story, the husband's duplicitous actions are uncovered when the gaslights dim. It is discovered that they dim because he is turing on gas lights in the upper story of the house to secretly search for hidden jewels. The term gaslighting describes someone who is actively trying to confuse and deceive another person for their own profit or advantage.
That's a perfect description of what Kristi is doing.
Trying to confuse and deceive for profit because she truly doesn't understand God or the bible. She's like many others just telling her own idea of what it means just many Christian denominations. She's no different.
@@garystapp1656 Someone disagreeing with you is not gaslighting, you are purposefully trying to devalue the phrase
@@xXEGPXx That's not even what I said 😒
@xXEGPXx To manipulate another person into doubting their own perceptions, experiences or understanding of events. That's exactly what she's trying to do by deconstructing God and the bible. It's not because I disagree with her. Most people on here are happily agreeing with her that don't really know and understand true Christianity. She had a bad experience with it true and the majority of people in Christianity nowadays give it a bad name but there are still true examples of Christianity around. People like her and the people making comments on here are judging true Christianity by all the bad representations of Christianity.
Great video, it makes me so mad when I remember when I used to go to church and was so manipulated.
Thank you!!!
And you created the universe?
When you started talking about calling God “daddy”, I literally yelled out loud because my mom does that. She said he’s our “healthy daddy” PLEASE. STOP. IM GOING TO THROW UP.
🤣🤮
Maybe if we actually had healthy daddies, we wouldn't need religions who entice us through our daddy issues.
Imagine being born in a predominantly Christian family, in a predominantly Christian country, and being forced to go to church, Christian school, read Christian books, watch Christian kids shows, listen to Christian music, watch christian comedy, go to youth group, have prayer and devotions with family everyday...
And then grow up to think it was your choice to believe.
I questioned God's morality when i was in middlescool because the story of Job troubled me so much. Whenever i asked questions about it, the answers were "god is beyond our understanding" or "god was just testing Job". Either way it seemed immoral to me. It didn't match my "moral code" that was supposedly written on my heart by god.
The bible often aligns with the ideology of abusers. And victims often cite verses about being rewarded for suffering to excuse their abuse. It's ingrained in the ideology. It's a perfect storm.
So that's why I became a scientologist.
Just kidding.
Thank you for taking the time to put these together. Your hard work is much appreciated.
You rock!!!! ❤❤
thanks so much for watching!
@@vadouis-rt3ofAnd if that not happens?.
@@vadouis-rt3of Dude if you can prove god is real you will become a quadrillionaire overnight, if you had proof you would show it
@@vadouis-rt3of Death is indeed unavoidable.
@@vadouis-rt3of But still need prove of this Ragnarok of yours.
Its about power. Its always been about power
...and the tax exempt money!
@@judylandry302 they always need money
@@judylandry302It all goes directly to god - for his grand plan. Surely you don't expect god to pay them taxes? 😅
A narcissistic, psychopathic kind of control, because what does it truly matter if they convince people to accept Jesus? It at times don't make sense.
J power. Warning . intense
❤
Yes manipulation is one of the main ingredients of religion.
Prostitution, of some sort, is a foundation stone of churches.
J power. Warning . intense
❤
Fact!!!
@@raya.p.l5919 And entirely a mental construct created by those manipulation methods. Fortunately, once you see the manipulation, it loses its power.
Yes, come to Ghana for my free Kool-Aid.
Kristi- I hope you are doing well. I miss seeing your content on my tik tok FYP. You were instrumental in helping me deconstruct my faith and I can only hope to serve as a beacon to others who have been burned by the church. Please take care of yourself and know that your online community still supports & loves you!
We need to lift the immunity from criticism that mainstream religion has. "You have to respect my beliefs!", "You can't criticize someone's religion!". Oh, really? Why should it get a pass?
Goring sacred cows should be a pastime... 🤪 No belief should be immune from scrutiny, even - especially - religion.
I mean I think its fairly simple why they have that power, its because the majority of this country is unfortunately still Christian, and they are going to milk that for the next few decades until they become a minority
“She is very combative,” says the elder when I argue vehemently about the communion bread and grape wine, How manipulative churches are indeed! Go on preaching Kris. It is very helpful to realize what gaslighting I have been subjected to. Several times I left every church , destroying my self-esteem every time. On retrospect, it’s really the manipulative tactics those clowns employed.
I here you as someone who left christianity in 2014 I had felt the same thing my church talked a lot on the rapture made me wanted to pray 24/7 when I stopped going I really
started to think what was I so afraid of and found out it was just stupid. Thanks for making these videos and really debunking christianity great job👍🤘
I understand what you are saying, but just please know that because your church had gotten you discouraged, don't take your anger out on God. Read or listen to the Bible for yourself and pray. Jesus, Christ still loves you, even when the body of believers don't know how to show love to you.
@@richdelaney9500 are you kidding me watch the video she is spot on about christanity christains are litterly brain washed by church leaders
@@richdelaney9500 Most atheists became atheists because they read the entire bible. I don't think your point is as solid as you think it is. Also, your last sentence about "Jesus Christ still loves you" is unsubstantiated emotional manipulation.
@@NaNlinear I can understand becoming an atheist after going to a church or hearing preaching about how we have to work to get to Heaven after we die.
I did not intend for my comment to sound as though it is unsubstantiated, emotional manipulation. I was only trying to let everyone know that Jesus loves them because He died for everyone in the world. For you, for me and everyone else and I never knew of anyone willing to die for me....let alone my sins, until that moment that I repented of my sins and believed on Jesus, Christ as my Lord and savior on February 14th, 2017.
@@richdelaney9500 Even your new comment is manipulation. You are projecting your world view on to me. By doing so, you are doing two things. One, you are arrogantly proclaiming your belief is everyone's truth. It is not. Secondly, you are invalidating my experience by proclaiming my experience to be invalid. I understand you feel strongly about this, but do you see how this reads?
Please come back, I miss you. You can talk about anything! I really like your channel
New video popped up 12 hours ago. :-)
@@irrelevant_noob I saw, my heart skipped a beat a beat lol
@@irrelevant_noob did I reply to you on this? I was crazy excited to see her I was in my subscription section of RUclips to see whT my FYP missed
I think our elders tried to normalize all of these abusive behaviors. Especially gas lighting. I think there is a cultural shift happening as younger generation set healthy boundaries. Thankyou therapists and Brene Brown!!! Lol
Every single time I see Brene Brown mentioned I simply rejoice ❤
I had to think out of the box when I read about the Christian Crusades, Saw the movie Kingdom of Heaven and realized my own father and grandfather went from Muslim (in Turkey) To Mormons (Utah USA) o-0 smh
@@rubytuesday1316 that is f*cked!
Hey Kristie. You NAILED every point so well. BRAVO! I finally had my fill when I had an issue (marital Issue that will not be discussed in public) which there is no real solution for using their doctrines. I had ONE pastor, a decent guy whom I respect as a person, because he was honest with me. He said he did not know how to handle it. Aside from him, everybody else was either scared to try to think it through. When they tried to use warnings, I would just ask simple questions they could not answer and it infuriated them. EVERY one of those tactics were used until the day I walked out and never went back, and I never will, other than maybe a wedding or funeral, but that is IT.
I hope you’re taking good care of yourself Kristi! I know you took a break because this stuff can be emotionally heavy. I also hope (selfishly) that you come back soon! You have made people- including me- feel like we’re not alone. You also articulate very well the thoughts and lot of us have but struggle to put into words. We love you Kristi!
Thanks for your amazing video... it is right on! I was trapped in a fundamentalist Christisn church - cult for over 10 years. I left because my brain stopped me from serving in the church. What we were doing in the church (manipulating people) was in such contrast to what we were teaching (love people) that my rational, logical brain finially rebelled.
After I escaped, I chose to stop doing all the things I was told on church, that I must do. It was not until 10 years later, after enduring guilt due to disobedience, that my guilt faded enough so that I could start to see clearly and question things freely. 25 years later, now I can easily see through any religious manipulation.
Thats was the problem. Not God.The church is not the house of God. You are the house of God! The Holy Spirit living inside you. The temple of God. When you put your trust in Jesus, He sends the Holy Spirit to live inside you. The Holy Spirit is the seal of God, and your evidence that you have been Born Again. We must possess the Holy Spirit. He is necessary for salvation. That is what you were missing. The Holy Spirit will bring you into a relationship with Jesus. Just between you and Him. Nothing to do with church. Dont blame the church and the people that led you astray, because they are only human and are prone to faults. That is why we are to look directly to God for guidance. And when you are filled with His Holy Spirit upon true salvation, then the Holy Spirit becomes your helper and teacher. Only the Holy Spirit can lead you to your purpose in Christ. Not people. Read 1John 2:27. "But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don't need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true-it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ."
Dont give up on God, because He never gives up on you. He will never let you down, only people let you down.
Humble yourself, pour out your heart to Jesus with faith, and ask Him to forgive you. Put your trust in Him, and give Him complete control. Ask Him to fill you with His Holy Spirit. He will transform your heart and mind. He did it for me. The Holy Spirit is the key, and the difference maker. Its truly amazing! You can have that peace and assurance of salvation. And all the love, joy, and kindness, that only comes from the Spirit of God. And then tell me if that wasn't what you were missing. Because I know there is much more to God than what you were talking about. He cares for you, and does not want you to leave this world without Him. Dont be stubborn, and rebellious. This life is temporary. Eternity is a long time to be wrong. And we are never guaranteed another day. I pray you think about and open your heart, because once its over, its too late. Be blessed
I just discovered you today and you share my story, thoughts, and explanations. I've spent this past year deconstructing my faith without knowing it was a thing, so many daring evil people like me, so many sharing similar stories to mine on RUclips. I went no contact with my family a couple years ago because of narcissistic abuse, then discovered the Bible is the narcissistic handbook, how to be a narcissist. Everything you said in this video describes my mom and upbringing using the Bible as a weapon against me. Thank you!
The bible IS a narcissistic handbook! What an apt description in a nutshell. It's all about being the special ones. Who deserve to inflict all kinds of pain, because they're special. And god is most special of all, as god is constantly telling us in the bible.
"Don't let worries and stress kill you - let the church help."👍😁
Are you being Sarcastic ?
or do you really mean this literally ?
I Honestly can't tell
if you're being literal
THAT IS SUCH STUPID ADVICE
The church creates stress for you, The Church emotionally manipulates you and puts you in confusing and conflicting situations where you have no choice but to stress
AND YES......... STRESS CAN ACTUALLY KILL PEOPLE........ I've seen it happen
@@martinkuliza Of course i'm being sarcastic. Sarcasm just oozes from every cravice of the quotation. And it's a real quotation from some sign sometime somewhere in America. Go figure...😜
@@vladimirgrbic8325
well THANK FUCKING GOD FOR THAT.
sorry mate, the internet and all that.. you know.
You don't fucking know what to believe anymore
and Interestingly , (but i've known this since i was 16 and i'm 50 now) but most people do not actually understand
that STRESS, Literally can kill you, it's literally toxicity to your body
A Toxicity that we willingly produce through choice
but yeah, that's fucking weird that a sign would have that .
on the subject of stress and stress creation,
Having the benefit of seeing religion since the 70s, I can tell you this
in thw 70s we were like
You believe in god, and that person does't believe in god
we didn't have Atheist, Deist, Theist, Agnostic and every other bullshit term under the sun
You believe what you did and that was it
over the years i have seen changes happend
Now it seem RELIGION IS A BATTLEFIELD
I seem to be seeing (in the context of religious videos) things like
SOLDIERS OF GOD
CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS
THE BATTLE LINES ARE BEING DRAWN
A WAR IS COMING... A WAR OF FAIT
OR.
A WAR OF GOOD VS EVIL IS COMING
What the fuck is wrong with christians nowadays
As if that's not going to create stress for people
Oh.. Let the church help
and then....
You are now a christian solder
and you have to go into battle
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST........ LOL
and then some nut jobs takes that too literally and buys a gun and shoots an atheist.
Trust me.. Time bomb Waiting to happen
Exactly. 😁
@@martinkuliza Hello there, Columbus - it's self evident. I concur!
This video is so spot on and explains perfectly what I wasn’t able to put to words. Listening to your videos has helped me understand my feelings towards church and the confusion I didn’t understand why I felt. Thanks!
As someone who was raised in church from a young age and only left fairly recently, I’ve heard almost everything you used as an example for what the church leaders say to manipulate people. And I went to many different churches throughout my life, they all used those tactics or some variation of it.
Thank you for talking about this. What you’re doing is so important.
I love the work your doing. As someone who constantly teeters on the edge of wanting to believe but too skeptical to commit i live in constant fear of being judged for my unbelief. I think youre brave!
If it helps, there are other dimensions and an intelligence that shaped and keeps shaping the universe, in my experience. I just think it's a shame to reduce that to a male authority figure that happily destroys you if you don't obey the contradictory things he says. And who demands belief, instead of your fully aware partnership.
There are companies that teach Churches how to get the most money and donations out of people. One of them is a company named, "Vanco". That pushes Auto pay. Vanco takes a percentage. Check out who owns this business...
Its obscene.
Almost as bad as when I found out that many churches are sold as "Franchises". These franchises are based on a monetary agreement with set minimum limits that are required to be paid to the corporation.
Churches are tax exempt registered limited liability corporations.
Edit: Revenue $5.2 Billon in donations 2022 per Vanco. Tax free.
that’s sooooo gross! i want a shower now.
To be fair, Vanco is a credit card and finance processing company. They offer their services to many more organizations besides churches.
Their revenue is 153 million.
The fact that Christian ideology coerces it's followers into giving them money shouldn't be pushed off as Vancos responsibility.
J power. Warning . intense
❤
Vanco is okay and provides a reputable service. The people you actually want to attack are probably much bigger fish who are part of big churches.
To be fair, I went to smallish churches. No megas for me. We didn't have this kind of thing. We probably couldn't have afforded the ability to do this stuff. Small churches cost a lot to operate and so even a 5 % cut would have been disastrous. And no way in hell were we getting the kind of tithes that we needed to justify a Vanco processing fee.
(look, I'm an atheist. so I'm not defending the church. I just think this comment isn't accurate.)
As for franchises.. it's not quite the way you call it. It's more like membership dues. With that, you are part of a larger group of churches. They have different names for it as well - for example, I think the methodists have synods. The fees aren't that much.
What do these synods do? Well, any church could be part of it. All it is would be types of committees and it's meant to make major decisions that would impact all the churches. It polices the doctrines of that particular denominational faith. For example, the split in the methodist church was because half the church wants to be pro-lgbt and the other half did not. Then, you have censuring sort of processes for example... say a pastor has a complaint. Who does this pastor go to?
I don't know how active you were as a member in the church or how high you went...but, my experience has been council + pastor. The council has a lot of power and it can get very interesting. Think of the pastor as a manager then..
You can absolutely go it on your own and be an independent church. It's more shady. More pop up over night business. They do make bank. There's less oversight. That's what the synod provides so you can be assured that going to St. Ann's vs. St. Michaels in different states will have the same doctrinal beliefs. In addition, we have some protections such as care for our pastors..insurances, retirement.. things like that. Group purchasing in essence via the synod.
I get why you relate it to a franchise. However, I don't think the franchise owners have the kind of power that these churches have. Nor do the fees seem comparable. Think of it more as a commune structure/members club. Sure, you pay a synod fee but it's not an onerous fee. It's like paying your gym membership bill.
@@raya.p.l5919🤪🤪🤪🤪
Yeah. Whenever someone leaves the church it's quite common for those who remain to claim that person was never a true believer to begin with. Never mind that a lot of the most staunch atheists I know of were at one time equally fervent believers. This is why, regardless of the actual existence or nonexistence of any sort of higher power, I've always despised organized religion. I have my folks to thank for that since they made the deliberate choice not to raise my siblings and I in any specific religion. That way we could come to it or not by our own choice.
I left the Catholic Church. I went to St. Agnes Middle School in Jefferson, Louisiana, and I was not only badly bullied by students. I was also badly bullied by the teachers themselves just because I was different. That really opened my eyes to what religion especially the Catholic Church was about and so I decided at the age of 12 that wanting nothing more to do with the Catholic Church or with christianity all together. That was the best decision I've made in my entire life.
When I was younger I got in trouble once for calling the Baptist Church we were attending my weekly flogging session. It was a independent Baptist Church. The pastor would speak for 45 minutes. No matter what the passage was the sermon was 42 1/2 minutes of how horrible rotten evil a scum bag everyone was. The last 2 1/2 minutes was all about Jesus and this atonement sacrifice. After that, we sung 87,000 verses ( at least it seemed that way) of Just As I Am. I think every week some went forward to "get saved" just to stop the music. Kristi, I really enjoy your videos. I have found them extremely helpful. Thanks
The Baptist church I went to taught hell fire, brimstone and damnation, guilting, gaslighting and everything else you mentioned. I also change to a non Denominational church but the hand raising, swaying and band playing really turned me off. Thank you for your views. They are the ones I’ve had for a long time and didn’t know how to express them.
Yes! I have heard all of this. Very good, Kristi. You do a wonderful job breaking down real manipulation that is used within Christianity.
Kristi, please come back, I've enjoyed your videos so much. Can't wait to hear from you and hope you and your partner are doing well! 💌
thank you for this video, it truly brings me some comfort and acceptance for myself for not being religious anymore
You are correct. As a former Lutheran pastor, the pressure on me from certain “pillars” of the church to fill the pews struck me as disgusting. I said to my elders: “I can fill our pews week after week; it’s easy, but I can’t live with that idea.”
I hear ya! Pastors would be best served to not focus on filling the pews as much as filling the hearts and minds of those that are in the pews.
Thank you Kristi!! Good health and Great wealth to you and your family!
Preach it, sister!! :-) I went to an IFB church for a long time and I kept nodding my head each time you mentioned how the person in authority(usually the pastor), kept raising his voice and pounding the pulpit to get your attention!
I've seen IFB authority figures in action in a few of the videos they put out and they seriously come off as nutjobs!
Yes, i totally agree with you!
Wrapped up in Christianity, I slowly began to hate myself, and ultimately began to manipulate, even gaslight my own self!
You are doing great work
thanks! I appreciate that
@@jezebelvibes 🥰
I agree, Kristi is keeping us Christians honest
@@PolymorphicPenguin Yeah being honest doesn't mean you're correct.
@@A-non-theist Kristi highlights things about Christianity that we need to address, such as being manipulative.
OMG Kristi, we need more on topics similar to this one. Thanks
Please come back. I miss you so much
Finally a woman who is rising up and being a female voice in the non-religious space! Thank you for your service! Love your channel!
My mind is gone, you are blowing it apart 🤯🤯🤯 I have listened to hours of deconstruction content, I've known of the fact that religion is similar to an abusive relationship, but not aware enough.
When you ask a religious person. How do you know theirs a god? They all say just have faith...so if you have faith to believe in God. It means they dont know.
"God doesn't know you when you're lost in sin" I got that
Feels. I heard it so much.
Griftians must stop insulting millions of Chinese bearing the name "Sin." Xi should put an end to this with a decree.
How this resonates in a more detailed way that I couldn’t think about it before! I wish I had watched this video 15 years ago. Keep going 🙏🏼
When Christians say about evil is caused by free will, are there free will in heaven? Apologists say that in heaven, you won't have desire to sin but does that mean there is no free will in heaven? Yeah I'm not buying into it
You can use that truth to put fundamentalists into a corner: There is no freewill in heaven because we cannot sin once we get there. But we still authentically love and worship god even though our freewill is gone. This proves that it was entirely within the realm of possibility for god to have caused Adam and Eve to authentically love and worship God, but without giving them freewill. The upshot is that god is without excuse, he did not "need" to give us freewill to make true love possible. In that case, we are reasonable to suggest that the reason god gave people such an unnecessary thing like freewill, is because he himself is evil, and he would probably get bored if he didn't set up other people for a fall so he could have something to bitch about.
I think this has to be one of the most concise and succinct evaluations of religious manipulation of emotions and the mind that I have ever heard on RUclips, if not anywhere else. Comparing the war-god of Abraham to the emotional level of a manipulative high school bf/gf is brilliant and dead-on balls accurate! I was glad to grant near an hour to watching it twice. Great work, and worth everyone's time, as well as worth sharing everywhere!
Nailed it. Christians may claim to pray for you but they also prey on you.
Exactly!
This made me into a crying mess. You are so right about all of this. I have been manipulated so much. I have never felt more seen.
Excellent talk Kristi, and SO important for members of ANY religious group to think about.
Really enjoying your channel. I really like your presentation, and thanks for including the versus from the book. Hope your doing well and continue making these videos 👍
It's quite amazing that belief, which is no more than opinion or suggestion without evidence, is given a higher degree of respectability than truths, facts, evidence. Religious belief is the dark birthchild of ego and hubris, mixed with fear, subtle and devious psychological manipulation. It preys on the best and worst of human attributes: naivete, trust, love, hate, need of group support, fear of rejection, by devious gaslighting, all in the pursuit of power over the minds of the gullible and foolish.
This is a superb video, the points you cover are expertly presented and described, you have excellent insight and analysis. You are doing a very good service.
Thanks so much!
Fully AGREED!
You......make SOOOOOOOO much sense!
On target Kristi! We’ve been abused and nobody sees it that way! They think we’re crazy!
Agreed! bc of this its so hard to not see myself as crazy. I mean, emotional and psychological abuse isn't tangible. It has results but its not tangible (like a broken bone or a bruise on your face).
I remember telling someone about the IFB I grew up in. and I remember thinking he's trying to take advantage of me, like he saw an opportunity to keep the abuse wound in place to put me to work for him.
Kristi, I hope you are well and on your way back to your center but we miss you and your insight. If you could give us and update on about when or even if you are coming back, that would be helpful. If that's not in the cards right now, I understand that too. Take care of yourself.
100% spot on! Thank you for this video! It really is hard to leave when your a preachers daughter. I was raised in the church. My "father" is a preacher. We suffered this manipulation even at home. My mom was the first to break free. Then my sister and I. We grew up and saw the truth of my "father" for what he really was. I wish more people would. Unfortunately, my brother is still under his control and manipulation and hangs on to every word he says. The whole congregation at his church refuses to believe my sister or I. I know he will never change and no matter how much I speak out, no one will listen. They are all blinded by him. I just want my little brother back. But the church nor my "Father" is willing to let him go. He has that one last hook to make people believe what my "father" says is true.
I'm so sorry for what you and your family have experienced. It can be so difficult to walk away, and then to have to suffer the loss of family is even more devastating. I'm wishing you so much peace and happiness. The same for your brother 🩷
The goal is not so much to hurt you so much you return; it’s to make an example of you so other sheep don’t follow you … out of fear
Great content
Appreciate your time and insight
Thanks so much!
Kristi, I hope you and had a great holiday/new year. Looking forward to your return! Thanks for all you do! Let us know when your Patreon is up!
50$ DAMN, ALSO W FOR YOU BUT WOW
I one just found your channel, and after a couple videos, I decided I’m gonna binge watch a bunch of the rest!
Yay! Happy you're here!
as a catholic we were constantly told that we had killed Jesus - in detail - and as a 5 or 6 year old that is truly abusive. YOU ARE AMAZING thank you for this work!
But you had free will as a 5 year old to deny the Jesus you had killed and spend eternity in unbearable torment in hell. 🤣🤣🤣
An excellent video, covering a wide range of manipulation tactics, but there's still a large amount of them that weren't covered here. For instance the use of music to draw out specific emotions, so that you mistakenly attribute those emotions to the thing currently being talked about, instead of to the music that's actually causing it. Ever hear an old nostalgic song and IMMEDIATELY find yourself reliving the emotions of the time period you last heard it in? Music was the string tying together an event and an emotion.
This happens automatically to most people in most circumstances to varying degrees, but can also be intentionally used to force an association where one hasn't been earned, like between positive feelings and an absentee God. Learning about and understanding the subconscious goings-on of your brain can help you see through some of these manipulators. Because if they understand you better than you understand yourself, you have no hope of escaping any traps they may set. And that right there is the exact reason they warn people away from "evil scientists". The ones who can cleanly and clearly explain precisely how they're abusing you.
Yes! I have a video on how music is used to manipulate coming! I felt it deserved its own episode :)
You are so right about the music played in church. I haven't stepped foot in a church for about 50 years, but I still love the songs and melodies, and remember most of the verses.
Hi music is powerful and one could recognise it as being spiritual. Remember how angry and vengeful King Saul was to David when the evil spirit afflicted his thoughts. David played music to him to calm him when Saul had his episodes of anger.
@@jezebelvibes Looking forward to that!
Great video, Kristi! A GREAT basic education in manipulation tactics that everyone should know or be aware of. And I got news for you - these manipulation tactics aren't exclusive to Christianity - I've seen them used in other religions and cults as well, from nudism to Buddhism - not to mention in dysfunctional and abusive relationships, too. The introductory section in which you reminded your viewers that these manipulation tactics may not always be conscious was also very good, and necessary as well. Heck - the abusive preacher in your church might be abusing and manipulating you because that's how he was raised by his dad, who was also an abusive preacher himself.
The abusive preacher was certainly abused.
The basic ideology of Christianity is abusive. To be indoctrinated into believing you need an invisible savior to clean the invisible scum off your malformed heart is pure abusive coercion.
It's blatant grooming of mental illness hidden behind the alluring deceit of "He Loves You".
J power. Warning . intense
❤
@@raya.p.l5919 Wow you're insane.
When a child has an imaginary friend they go to a psychologist. When an adult has an imaginary friend, they go to church.
Um truth is, you are not wrong,
And I know how crazy people can be.
And I just wanna say,
A lot of “Christian’s” claim to hear from God and you look at their life and it’s not what God wants, it’s full of immaturity and they say thus says the LORD when God has not spoken a word to them. And in the OT, God was against the “prophets” who prophecied lies and He said that He never sent them and whenever the priests where teaching things that God didn’t want and going in a bad direction, God sent prophets to warn the priests that their way was corrupt and that they should repent and also Jesus said few Christian’s are born again.
I am a Christian, I’ll always be one, it just makes the most sense to me. Yes, there are things I don’t understand and that doesn’t really matter in the long run.
You say that I have an imaginary friend, that doesn’t bother me in the slightest and it’s so easy for people to say, I can fully understand why you see it that way.
Every belief system has pros, cons, and questions.
If I quit being a Christian, and be an atheists, I’m going to have questions that are difficult to answer. At least being a Christian, I can at least have hope about some things like death.
and the fact that Jesus, the King of all Kings chose to die for me, is amazing. No one knows I exist, and yet this King died for my wrongs and wants to clean me of all my wrongs and wants to have a relationship with Me, that’s something that I will always cherish.
And I personally don’t want to believe in nothing after death and I don’t want to believe in reincarnation.
Atheists made fun of me believing in Heaven and I’m like why? Lol
Everybody thinks they are right and I’m over hear looking at death in the face and you don’t see many people doing that
Anyways sorry for the ramble lol
Wether and whatever one understand and or believe , whatever is there after life cannot be changed
@@ericscaillet2232
If they don’t believe in an afterlife whatsoever, why are they fighting so hard? Shouldn’t it all be meaningless? All these atheists talk about is death and what’s after death, it’s like, either you do believe in an afterlife or you don’t simply by how much you want to talk about it. It’s really that simple.
If I was an atheist, I would let people believe what they want and not try to change things, because all my efforts are useless in the end.
if I genuinely believe nothing exists after death, and everyone goes there in the end, what’s my reward for changing their minds?
Why change peoples minds when it doesn’t matter?
Leave it up to the spiritual people to debate and change peoples minds about what’s after death.
The atheists should have no part in trying to change people’s minds when they themselves don’t believe. It’s stupid.
I didn’t really gain anything from it.
@@aheartonfire7191 BECAUSE there are millions of Xtians who are hell bent on shoving their Iron Age belief sysytem into government policies.
IF Xtians were just going about their business WITHOUT EFFECTING OTHERS, no one would care.
@@ericscaillet2232 I guess English isn't your first language, for I don't know what that means.
Kristi, once again you nailed it.
This is one of your best and useful videos.
Great topic!! The whole religious experience is having others build beliefs for you. Because if you are like me you have never "felt" any communication coming directly from God. It really s like "The Emperor's new clothes" There is nothing there, but you are told repeatedly that your sin is making you deaf to God's attempts to help you.
I have felt communication from realms beyond human, but not from that fake horrible monster who's the god of the Abrahamic faiths. Trying to do that is like repeatedly dialing a number you already know is the wrong number, and hoping it'll work.