I encountered the same questions and I arrived at exactly the same conclusions on my own. I now have two and I wish could have had 4 when I was younger. Having a family is the best.
Yet another great video. I mostly agree with what you have just said. As a father of three kids, aged 2 6 and 9, I would say that there is nothing much meaningfull than having a family. I would also say that rising that many kids also comes with a lot of burden and one should accept that won't be as productive as before in one's professional field. Probably this is one of the most difficult personal realizations I have reached because it grounded my ego since I can no logner compete with the mojarity of people who spend 14-18 hours working and developening just themselves. To be honest I don't find this as a negative thing but one should be aware of it. There is a thought that comes to my mind when listening to you explaining why people don't want to have kids: "Криворазбраната циЛИвилизация". Unfortunately, I don't know how to translate it in English. I hope that your videos are going to reach more and more people. Keep walking and talking 😊 P.S. I hope you will find a way and have 3rd and 4th kid 😊. Since words are cheap, I will try too.
Some would say: You can take the guy out of Bulgaria, but you can't take the Bulgaria out of the guy. :D I wouldn't say that... Your description of having a child made me think and feel it deeply... But I concluded that my reasons for not wanting children are not tied to millennial conditioning at all. It's more of a feeling that I would not be a good father at all since I'm burdened with my own issues. I am not sure that the raising I recieved is good for my well being and I would probably pass it on to my potential child. I think you tried to make an argument that the people not having children are "lost causes" and they are "coping"... Like that is the end goal for all people, there is nothing bigger than yourself that you can contribute to society. Kind of, you reach the "ceiling" in your career or social life, and you cannot move on in big satisfactory ways from there. You tried to say either you are a coping hedonist or you contribute something bigger than yourself by having children. I feel this is false. What will you do when your children are 26-27 and move on from home? Will you then just give up and watch the lake all day? Will you then nag your children to give you grandchildren because you have nothing to do all day? I feel all this is just your reasoning that does not apply to all, and society will end or collapse if we do not follow the age old traditions, which is kind of catastrophic thinking you are projecting from your personal must-haves to every person in society EDIT: Implying that these people that had no children are lost causes is a narative that is in my opinion detrimental for the health of the society, because it is kind of tagging the people that are set in the childless situation as if their life is less worthy and they should give up bc they have nothing to live for after all. Cheers!
Yes.. also I wonder: having kids is not as natural and incidental anymore. As "getting a career" which truly sets your place in society is not linear anymore. Now the intent that goes into rising kids is suuuper high. Come on you said it: people expect their kids to leave home at 26-28 lol?? That's wild. In a natural setting these would literally become parents themselves in their "teen" age (17 to 22). Now that the cycle has changed it is perhaps good for people to pause, think and rethink what procreation and family making means in modern times. People nowadays can expect to grow and find themselves AGAIN much more times than back in the days. Society changes so fast, you end up having to adapt much more times in a lifetime. That's what is out of balance. You can't keep adapting all while raising kids in a total lack of predictability and stability. Just look how school has collapsed in so many countries (france and usa for what I know). Teachers don't even want that job of teaching kids and leave those career very young and heavily damaged 😢. So what are we supposed to do? teach our kids ourselves? Hell no. I think it's better to step back and think hard about these structural realities and address them rather than churning more kids (guinea pigs of an experiment that has no constants anymore really).
@@GeminiWalkandTalk in the current situation it is arguable. Some would say there is too many of us already. So, still we are "padded" big time and this is just a personal life style choice in this generation at least. Immigration is a fact. In America it has allways been a fact and Europe will have this new reality. Anyway robotics and AI industires are doing anything they can to replace humans in manufacturing and "real" jobs. That is the trend and WIP... So i really don't see a problem except coping with broken traditions. In the end, everything will self-regulate and correct itself as it always has done... There is no need to doom story people into doing something they do not want to do
You are missing the whole point... It's actually not a selfless sacrifice that you do for society, but rather a selfish thing that you do for yourself. It's YOU perpetuating YOUR genes and (if you do it the smart way), YOU perpetuating YOUR values too. To answer the last question, when they leave the nest, you can sit back and be assured that there will be people like you in the future.
Even if my wife divorced me I would not regret having my kids, of course financially it would be difficult...BUT I am already spending a lot of my "own" earnings on my family without being divorced :-)
Congratulations. However every time I see a homeless person or an addict person in Seattle, I think about how they were once someone's kid. not everything has a happy outcome unfortunately
Me too. When ever I see a deeply troubled person or someone whose life has taken a turn for the worse. I think of how they were once someone's baby, apple of their mother's eye. Hopefully loved and nurtured atleast during infancy.
One thing that pushed me to change was seeing my culture dying. It broke my heart thinking all the people that toiled, suffered, fought and died for us to just let it slip when we have so so many advantages. How do you feel about Bulgaria? It is a small country after all.
Great video. As a single 29yo, there's a lot of these open questions floating around so it helps to get the perspective of someone older who has had similar experiences at this age. Children are a great gift, so is a loving wife. However, I won't raise children in the city environment period. Just recently I signed up for DIY class and have been working around my mom's garden. At this point, it looks like if you want to give a family a good life in these conditions, you have to use all those engineering skills to figure out how to homestead and then make it happen with whatever money you got. Have you looked into semi self-sufficiency before?
I helped my parents build such a set up to retire, but I need school and socializing opportunities for my children. And my father and brother are indeed engineers building out the house with a well and good garden and solar.
I think there are very few "true" child free people. There have always been ascetics/religious people who have opted not to marry and have children, and there have always been those who for medical reasons could not have children. These men and women still had purpose in their communities and many had meaning in their lives, but the current rate of childlessness can not be explained by these things. It seems "engineered" or an unexpected outcome of some social experiment. A lot of things that should be instinctive and natural seem to be escaping humanity more and more each year.
You miss one important point. It's different for men and women. Men can hold out for much longer, whereas women's biological clock runs out. I think it's a great idea for men to have children later in life, since life itself is a lot more complicated than it used to be, and you need a lot of experience to make it in this convoluted world. And in the end all the responsibility will fall on the man's shoulders, no matter how much we pretend that men and women are equal. Ideally there should be at least a 10 year age gap between husband and wife.
@@GeminiWalkandTalk too much hate. too much war. too much division. leaders exploiting differences to enrich themselves while the world tears itself apart. What a sad future for the kiddos.
@GeminiWalkandTalk People don't have kids for many reasons. after WWII ended there was a baby boom because things were not the same. Perception is reality and if people perceive the world differently then that's a change. cost of living is also higher. education was cheaper, housing and so on. the world is not the same.
Check out the life stories of Caesar and Napoleon. Much more intense than anything that happened that day. The first American president literally lead a revolutionary war for years. If anything things have become softer and calmer today.
I believe many people want kids but sometimes the environment is not suitable to having them due to poor economic prospects, stability, mental health etc.
@@GeminiWalkandTalk Advanced countries are filled with people who are mentally ill. I always think about America and American people and it seems that it is a country with very many isolated, lonely individuals who no longer trust many of the institutions and are hostile towards other citizens for all sorts of reasons ( ideological, racial, social etc.) - there is no glue to keep all Americans together. Now, even if Bulgaria is not as developed as the USA it is a far safer nation for people because it is a monoethnic nation that still shares tradition, history, ethnicity so most men and women feel safe walking all over the country at whatever time of the day - this can't be said for the USA because if you walk into the wrong area/neighbourhood as a white guy you may run into the wrong people and you are deleted from this earth. Thus, many Americans have lost all trust in other people because there is no social glue and once you are atomized and lonely - mental illness.
Lmao experiences are faded memories but a child is „right next to you“. A child grows up. A child‘s every age is a faded memory. Everything you experience with a child is a faded memory. And there’s nothing bad about that. Why are my experiences with friends any lesser than that with a child. Also, you didn’t birth your child either. You can absolutely love someone that didn’t grow inside you, as seen with fathers. I‘m not even diminishing the experiences you will have with children. But I find it pretty jarring to have experiences with other loved ones diminished. Your girlfriend or wife is also just a stranger, there is no blood involved. Yet your memories with her are probably just as worthy and important.
but then i ask, why would you want to bring children into such a world, where everything seems to be collapsing and things appear to be only getting worse?
@GeminiWalkandTalk I'm not implying they are bad views. They are your views and you are entitled to them. With that said, you seem to believe that people who disagree with you are simply products of propaganda and their environments and only you are the enlightened free thinker. It's an intellectual conceit.
@@GeminiWalkandTalkyou have a brain , you can ignore instincts when they aren't good for you 😂. Its not like humanity is becoming extinct. Don't get me wrong , of course if i had one by accident i would love the kid but this instinct thing is bs. People that follow their instinct will probably end up in jail 😂.
Yes, we need more people on this planet. 8 billion mouths is not enough, clearly, as our species runs out of cheap energy, resources, and space, the logical answer is to increase the demands on our energy, resources, and space. Just so I can feel better.
@@GeminiWalkandTalk Hyperbolic. Oh no, instead of reaching 10 billion by 2050 we're reaching for 9 billion! What a plummet! Do you also think inflation goes down when it goes from 3% to 2.5%? It's still going up...
@@8BitNaptime Correction: the population of young working age people is about to plummet. Take a look at South Korea for example, they have a birth rate of 0.78 right now. That means that a class of 30 students today, will be just 11 students in 30 years. Wait another 30 years and that class is down to 4 students. That is a collapse with no end in sight, because it seems very unlikely that this trend will ever be reversed.
@@martindbp So? Sustainable and renewable energy allows a human population of about 2-3 billion as long as the Sun shines. There will be many more farmers, tailors, and cobblers than AI fart app programmers.
no kids. no regrets. But to each their own. I personally like to have more time for myself and enjoy the financial freedom to not have to worry about massive college costs. I've also seen too many friends have horrible relations with their children. I think it is great as long as people choose whatever makes them happy and certainly nobody should feel pressure to have kids unless they are ready, want them, and have the means to raise them.
Agree 100%. I remember how life felt empty at around 30, couldn't pinpoint why exactly. But after having a child, I've never had that feeling again, no matter how hard it's been at times. The birth of my son was also the starting point for me slowly moving rightward in my political views, as the left was busy with identity politics, anti-nativism, anti-humanity, anti-technology and degrowth ideas. Made me question everything about my previous views. As the left becomes increasingly childless, they just go more and more bonkers. As a parent it's clear as day that there are massive differences (on average, yes with overlapping normal distributions) between girls and boys for instance, while all my life I've been told and believed that any difference are just a social construct. It's also clear that we should not prefer humans to go extinct to "save the planet". Like what? Save it for who exactly? So many examples like this, that eventually I just had to accept that I don't belong in the left anymore.
Yes that's exactly right. Children are the best and we'll suffer because there are less of them. Thanks for spreading awareness.
Trying to do my part
No. Your children, or better (or at least average) children are the best.
I encountered the same questions and I arrived at exactly the same conclusions on my own. I now have two and I wish could have had 4 when I was younger. Having a family is the best.
You get it!
No children! More freedom! No debt etc
More boredom and loneliness, less joy
Yet another great video. I mostly agree with what you have just said. As a father of three kids, aged 2 6 and 9, I would say that there is nothing much meaningfull than having a family. I would also say that rising that many kids also comes with a lot of burden and one should accept that won't be as productive as before in one's professional field. Probably this is one of the most difficult personal realizations I have reached because it grounded my ego since I can no logner compete with the mojarity of people who spend 14-18 hours working and developening just themselves. To be honest I don't find this as a negative thing but one should be aware of it. There is a thought that comes to my mind when listening to you explaining why people don't want to have kids: "Криворазбраната циЛИвилизация". Unfortunately, I don't know how to translate it in English. I hope that your videos are going to reach more and more people. Keep walking and talking 😊
P.S. I hope you will find a way and have 3rd and 4th kid 😊. Since words are cheap, I will try too.
The translation would be "misunderstood civilization". The career thing is true but it's who wants to live just for work blah. Thanks for the comment
Some would say: You can take the guy out of Bulgaria, but you can't take the Bulgaria out of the guy. :D I wouldn't say that... Your description of having a child made me think and feel it deeply... But I concluded that my reasons for not wanting children are not tied to millennial conditioning at all. It's more of a feeling that I would not be a good father at all since I'm burdened with my own issues. I am not sure that the raising I recieved is good for my well being and I would probably pass it on to my potential child.
I think you tried to make an argument that the people not having children are "lost causes" and they are "coping"... Like that is the end goal for all people, there is nothing bigger than yourself that you can contribute to society. Kind of, you reach the "ceiling" in your career or social life, and you cannot move on in big satisfactory ways from there. You tried to say either you are a coping hedonist or you contribute something bigger than yourself by having children. I feel this is false. What will you do when your children are 26-27 and move on from home? Will you then just give up and watch the lake all day? Will you then nag your children to give you grandchildren because you have nothing to do all day? I feel all this is just your reasoning that does not apply to all, and society will end or collapse if we do not follow the age old traditions, which is kind of catastrophic thinking you are projecting from your personal must-haves to every person in society
EDIT: Implying that these people that had no children are lost causes is a narative that is in my opinion detrimental for the health of the society, because it is kind of tagging the people that are set in the childless situation as if their life is less worthy and they should give up bc they have nothing to live for after all.
Cheers!
Yes.. also I wonder: having kids is not as natural and incidental anymore. As "getting a career" which truly sets your place in society is not linear anymore. Now the intent that goes into rising kids is suuuper high. Come on you said it: people expect their kids to leave home at 26-28 lol?? That's wild. In a natural setting these would literally become parents themselves in their "teen" age (17 to 22). Now that the cycle has changed it is perhaps good for people to pause, think and rethink what procreation and family making means in modern times. People nowadays can expect to grow and find themselves AGAIN much more times than back in the days. Society changes so fast, you end up having to adapt much more times in a lifetime. That's what is out of balance. You can't keep adapting all while raising kids in a total lack of predictability and stability. Just look how school has collapsed in so many countries (france and usa for what I know). Teachers don't even want that job of teaching kids and leave those career very young and heavily damaged 😢. So what are we supposed to do? teach our kids ourselves? Hell no. I think it's better to step back and think hard about these structural realities and address them rather than churning more kids (guinea pigs of an experiment that has no constants anymore really).
What is more detrimental for society? Making this point or not procreating?
@@GeminiWalkandTalk in the current situation it is arguable. Some would say there is too many of us already. So, still we are "padded" big time and this is just a personal life style choice in this generation at least. Immigration is a fact. In America it has allways been a fact and Europe will have this new reality. Anyway robotics and AI industires are doing anything they can to replace humans in manufacturing and "real" jobs. That is the trend and WIP... So i really don't see a problem except coping with broken traditions. In the end, everything will self-regulate and correct itself as it always has done... There is no need to doom story people into doing something they do not want to do
You are missing the whole point... It's actually not a selfless sacrifice that you do for society, but rather a selfish thing that you do for yourself. It's YOU perpetuating YOUR genes and (if you do it the smart way), YOU perpetuating YOUR values too. To answer the last question, when they leave the nest, you can sit back and be assured that there will be people like you in the future.
@@eyeondataranking from that point of view I agree with you. We often call childless people selfish for doing their own thing, but this is not true
yeah, it's great... as long as your wife doesn't divorce you
Very important indeed
Having kids with the wrong woman can ruin your life... Indeed.
@@chenardpierre8270 it's so risky that I wonder if it's even worth it
probably not, for most men
Even if my wife divorced me I would not regret having my kids, of course financially it would be difficult...BUT I am already spending a lot of my "own" earnings on my family without being divorced :-)
@@chenardpierre8270 and the kids life
old folk tales always said how the home felt empty and the aging couple prayed for children. Now it's avoided. Makes you think.
People should read more folk tales and watch less Emily in Paris
Congratulations. However every time I see a homeless person or an addict person in Seattle, I think about how they were once someone's kid. not everything has a happy outcome unfortunately
Thanks. Yes, I think that as well.
I always think the same way. So true
Me too. When ever I see a deeply troubled person or someone whose life has taken a turn for the worse. I think of how they were once someone's baby, apple of their mother's eye. Hopefully loved and nurtured atleast during infancy.
How many people living in tents in Seattle were not put in daycare and public schools?
Maybe they were also someone's dad but wife divorced him and he end up in the streets
One thing that pushed me to change was seeing my culture dying. It broke my heart thinking all the people that toiled, suffered, fought and died for us to just let it slip when we have so so many advantages. How do you feel about Bulgaria? It is a small country after all.
I have felt like it's dying for a long time but lately it's doing a lot better so it's best to not lose hope
Great video. As a single 29yo, there's a lot of these open questions floating around so it helps to get the perspective of someone older who has had similar experiences at this age. Children are a great gift, so is a loving wife. However, I won't raise children in the city environment period. Just recently I signed up for DIY class and have been working around my mom's garden. At this point, it looks like if you want to give a family a good life in these conditions, you have to use all those engineering skills to figure out how to homestead and then make it happen with whatever money you got. Have you looked into semi self-sufficiency before?
I helped my parents build such a set up to retire, but I need school and socializing opportunities for my children. And my father and brother are indeed engineers building out the house with a well and good garden and solar.
6:45 As a black man, why would I want to have children in your society full of discrimination? Just to see them struggle like I have?
The smaller population the better.
More resources left for my children.
Bro spitting some truth
You know it
I think there are very few "true" child free people. There have always been ascetics/religious people who have opted not to marry and have children, and there have always been those who for medical reasons could not have children. These men and women still had purpose in their communities and many had meaning in their lives, but the current rate of childlessness can not be explained by these things. It seems "engineered" or an unexpected outcome of some social experiment. A lot of things that should be instinctive and natural seem to be escaping humanity more and more each year.
Exactly right
I like your title ❤️
Thank you
You miss one important point. It's different for men and women. Men can hold out for much longer, whereas women's biological clock runs out. I think it's a great idea for men to have children later in life, since life itself is a lot more complicated than it used to be, and you need a lot of experience to make it in this convoluted world. And in the end all the responsibility will fall on the man's shoulders, no matter how much we pretend that men and women are equal. Ideally there should be at least a 10 year age gap between husband and wife.
True. Even in one hour I couldn't mention everything 😁
There will be sooooo many people with regrets. 😔
It's sad really
It depends. It is not for everyone and nobody owes society kids. Certainly with the world as it is, it may be better not to have them.
Why do you say that?
@@GeminiWalkandTalk too much hate. too much war. too much division. leaders exploiting differences to enrich themselves while the world tears itself apart. What a sad future for the kiddos.
All this has always been the same and didn't stop people from procreating in the past. It's just media amplifying it
@GeminiWalkandTalk People don't have kids for many reasons. after WWII ended there was a baby boom because things were not the same. Perception is reality and if people perceive the world differently then that's a change. cost of living is also higher. education was cheaper, housing and so on. the world is not the same.
Check out the life stories of Caesar and Napoleon. Much more intense than anything that happened that day. The first American president literally lead a revolutionary war for years. If anything things have become softer and calmer today.
Children best part of life.
YES
In the twilight of my life, when I have two children and four grandchildren, I half agree with these reasonings.
You've captured my expierence with kids
I am almost in my 40s and I think about having children, but it is honestly hard, with the layoffs and how expensive everything is.
It surely isn't easy
There will never be better time to have kids than now
I believe many people want kids but sometimes the environment is not suitable to having them due to poor economic prospects, stability, mental health etc.
But it's advanced comfortable countries that are having less kids and underdeveloped ones having more
@@GeminiWalkandTalk Advanced countries are filled with people who are mentally ill.
I always think about America and American people and it seems that it is a country with very many isolated, lonely individuals who no longer trust many of the institutions and are hostile towards other citizens for all sorts of reasons ( ideological, racial, social etc.) - there is no glue to keep all Americans together. Now, even if Bulgaria is not as developed as the USA it is a far safer nation for people because it is a monoethnic nation that still shares tradition, history, ethnicity so most men and women feel safe walking all over the country at whatever time of the day - this can't be said for the USA because if you walk into the wrong area/neighbourhood as a white guy you may run into the wrong people and you are deleted from this earth.
Thus, many Americans have lost all trust in other people because there is no social glue and once you are atomized and lonely - mental illness.
Lmao experiences are faded memories but a child is „right next to you“. A child grows up. A child‘s every age is a faded memory. Everything you experience with a child is a faded memory. And there’s nothing bad about that. Why are my experiences with friends any lesser than that with a child. Also, you didn’t birth your child either. You can absolutely love someone that didn’t grow inside you, as seen with fathers. I‘m not even diminishing the experiences you will have with children. But I find it pretty jarring to have experiences with other loved ones diminished. Your girlfriend or wife is also just a stranger, there is no blood involved. Yet your memories with her are probably just as worthy and important.
Profile picture checks out
Interesting insights!
Thanks for watching
but then i ask, why would you want to bring children into such a world, where everything seems to be collapsing and things appear to be only getting worse?
Because I don't want to remove myself from the gene pool because something got a bit harder
Be the change, create good people that will make the world better.
This video can be summarized as "Eastern European guy discovers he has conservative views".
They're just normal views
@GeminiWalkandTalk I'm not implying they are bad views. They are your views and you are entitled to them. With that said, you seem to believe that people who disagree with you are simply products of propaganda and their environments and only you are the enlightened free thinker. It's an intellectual conceit.
It's not conceit. Losing you instinct to procreate is not natural
@@GeminiWalkandTalkyou have a brain , you can ignore instincts when they aren't good for you 😂.
Its not like humanity is becoming extinct.
Don't get me wrong , of course if i had one by accident i would love the kid but this instinct thing is bs.
People that follow their instinct will probably end up in jail 😂.
Yes, we need more people on this planet. 8 billion mouths is not enough, clearly, as our species runs out of cheap energy, resources, and space, the logical answer is to increase the demands on our energy, resources, and space. Just so I can feel better.
They population is about to plummet
@@GeminiWalkandTalk Hyperbolic. Oh no, instead of reaching 10 billion by 2050 we're reaching for 9 billion! What a plummet!
Do you also think inflation goes down when it goes from 3% to 2.5%? It's still going up...
The population is forecast to peak at 9 billion and drop.
@@8BitNaptime Correction: the population of young working age people is about to plummet. Take a look at South Korea for example, they have a birth rate of 0.78 right now. That means that a class of 30 students today, will be just 11 students in 30 years. Wait another 30 years and that class is down to 4 students. That is a collapse with no end in sight, because it seems very unlikely that this trend will ever be reversed.
@@martindbp So? Sustainable and renewable energy allows a human population of about 2-3 billion as long as the Sun shines.
There will be many more farmers, tailors, and cobblers than AI fart app programmers.
Making children is basically making slaves for the rapidly declining civilization we live in. Might be worth it on a personal level though.
Very pessimistic view
By refusing to have children you are creating the civilizational decline that you are so worried about
Faulty logic
How?
As a 37 year old female, I cannot resonate with this at all. People are choosing not to have kids because they avoid responsibility. It’s that simple.
That's a point I made as well?
no kids. no regrets. But to each their own. I personally like to have more time for myself and enjoy the financial freedom to not have to worry about massive college costs. I've also seen too many friends have horrible relations with their children. I think it is great as long as people choose whatever makes them happy and certainly nobody should feel pressure to have kids unless they are ready, want them, and have the means to raise them.
How old are you? Below 60 year?
А, здрасти. Мн як ти е канала. Че и колега програмист :)
Благодаря 😁
Agree 100%. I remember how life felt empty at around 30, couldn't pinpoint why exactly. But after having a child, I've never had that feeling again, no matter how hard it's been at times. The birth of my son was also the starting point for me slowly moving rightward in my political views, as the left was busy with identity politics, anti-nativism, anti-humanity, anti-technology and degrowth ideas. Made me question everything about my previous views. As the left becomes increasingly childless, they just go more and more bonkers. As a parent it's clear as day that there are massive differences (on average, yes with overlapping normal distributions) between girls and boys for instance, while all my life I've been told and believed that any difference are just a social construct. It's also clear that we should not prefer humans to go extinct to "save the planet". Like what? Save it for who exactly? So many examples like this, that eventually I just had to accept that I don't belong in the left anymore.
They are just normal views if you think about it
37 years old NEVER want children, too expensive, too much time commitment etc