Limerence: Are You Addicted To Your FANTASY Of Her?
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- Опубликовано: 9 дек 2023
- Limerence: Are You Addicted To Your FANTASY Of Her?... When you are addicted to your fantasy of her, you risk overlooking the beauty and potential of the real world and the connection it offers. I want you to recognize that if you are addicted to your fantasy of her, reality may not always align with the idealized images in your mind. The whirlwind of romance is fueled by intense limerence, and this is why you should not mistake limerence for love. Be sure to watch the entire video to learn more about limerence.
When you're addicted to your fantasy of her, she dominates your thoughts, influencing your emotions and behaviors. It would be best if you knew whether you are addicted to your fantasy of her, as it will help you to gain self-awareness. I need you to remember that limerence will lead to an idealized perception that might not always align with reality.
When dealing with limerence, it's important to recognize the addictive patterns that may interfere with your emotional well-being. I want you to understand what limerence is and how to let go. If you embrace this dating advice for men, you will understand whether you're addicted to her fantasy and learn what you can do about it.
As your wingmam, female wingman, and dating coach for men, I want to make dating easier. I hope you find this dating advice for men helpful.
If you are asking any of the following questions or searching for:
- Are you addicted to your fantasy of her
- What is limerence
- Limerence
- Addicted to your fantasy
- How to let go
and more, well, I believe this dating advice for men video will give you the clarity you need.
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I hope you enjoyed my video, "Limerence: Are You Addicted To Your FANTASY Of Her?"
Watch this dating advice video next, 👉 9 Tiny Habits to Get a Girlfriend (Avoid Limerence): • 9 Tiny Habits To Help ...
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Resources ❤
Have a situation you want almost FREE help with? Join my RUclips membership! $5/mth US, cancel anytime. Members' comments are shown to me first. Try not to make your comment a novella! Join here: / @yourwingmam
WakeUP2Luv GET AN AMAZING GIRLFRIEND! ("Life-changing!" ~ Steve B. "Soon after finishing the program I got a girlfriend." ~ members.wingmam.com/get-women/
One-on-one coaching? Click here: wingmam.com/relationship-marr...
The only online therapy I trust FOR MEN! wingmam.com/online-therapy/ (Discount available!)
Get Your Testosterone Checked! wingmam.com/blog/2020/02/10/f... (Discount available!) Or USE THIS DIRECT LINK WITH 25% WINGMAM SUBSCRIBER DISCOUNT: trylgc.com/anna HINT: Healthy testosterone helps with mood, energy, confidence, assertiveness, and weight management!
There are fake AIs of "me" endorsing products; I only promote things I believe in through my websites (www.wingmam.com; www.members.wingmam.com) or in a YourWingmam YT video on this or my @WingmamClips channel. I'll never ask you to contact me anywhere else or ask for money. Those are impersonators using my photo and a similar YT handle. Please report fake accounts wherever you find them.
Only official account for PayPal donations: www.paypal.com/paypalme/wingmam
Love is the answer, people! Don’t give up. DO. NOT. GIVE. UP. HOPE. God loves you and so do I! You got this.
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DISCLAIMER: Anna is not a psychologist, licensed therapist/counselor, medical advisor, or lawyer. The videos are opinions only, not advice. Therefore, you are responsible for your actions and the results thereof. Obey the law. If you have mental health issues or are considering harming yourself or others, seek appropriate help immediately.
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You may also like: courtenay ryan, joyanima, emilywking, sadia psychology (sadia kahn), dr. orion taraban
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#Limerence #WhatIsLimerence #AddictedToYourFantasy #Fantasy #LetGo #OnlineDating #HowToLetGo #DatingAdviceForMen #DatingCoach #LettingGo #Wingmam 
Хобби
I hope you enjoyed my video, "Limerence: Are You Addicted To Your FANTASY Of Her?"
Watch this dating advice video next, 👉 9 Tiny Habits to Get a Girlfriend (Avoid Limerence): ruclips.net/video/7FHC8mNYTDg/видео.html
Other Resources ❤
Have a situation you want almost FREE help with? Join my RUclips membership! $5/mth US, cancel anytime. Members' comments are shown to me first. Try not to make your comment a novella! Join here: ruclips.net/channel/UCEfwUiuU69mS19aJ_SveqDAjoin
WakeUP2Luv GET AN AMAZING GIRLFRIEND! ("Life-changing!" ~ Steve B. "Soon after finishing the program I got a girlfriend." ~ members.wingmam.com/get-women/
One-on-one coaching? Click here: wingmam.com/relationship-marriage-coach/
The only online therapy I trust FOR MEN! wingmam.com/online-therapy/ (Discount available!)
Get Your Testosterone Checked! wingmam.com/blog/2020/02/10/fellas-do-you-have-low-testosterone/ (Discount available!) Or USE THIS DIRECT LINK WITH 25% WINGMAM SUBSCRIBER DISCOUNT: trylgc.com/anna HINT: Healthy testosterone helps with mood, energy, confidence, assertiveness, and weight management!
There are fake AIs of "me" endorsing products; I only promote things I believe in through my websites (www.wingmam.com; www.members.wingmam.com) or in a YourWingmam YT video on this or my @WingmamClips channel. I'll never ask you to contact me anywhere else or ask for money. Those are impersonators using my photo and a similar YT handle. *Please report fake accounts wherever you find them.*
Only official account for PayPal donations: www.paypal.com/paypalme/wingmam
Love is the answer, people! Don’t give up. DO. NOT. GIVE. UP. HOPE. God loves you and so do I! You got this.
I'll be back to answer comments later gators! xx
Great insightful video. Good balance between psychology and digestible content. In all the videos I've seem, you put across the information is a very engaging way.
I've begun to read through your memoirs and will keep reading and yes you've been through alot Anna and I am very impressed with you. Bless you so much Anna. I'd want to give you a big hug for all you won over so far.
Hey, Anna, I am curious -- why the 2-min. kitty appearance (starting at 5:08)...?
Damn you and your smiley eyes and face and stupid cute redhead freckles! Limerance - McWingman - Lady - Woman! Guilty, but since i learned about limerance (BPD), I leave you on RUclips. 😋🙏
Another great video, but a lot to unpack in a single video. I'm just going to elaborate on two things that go together. Rejection Sensitivity and abandonment issues. Being in a relationship with a girl that has these can be downright dangerous. At the slightest hint of trouble, she may break up with you. She'll want to beat you to the punch because she will feel better knowing she's the one doing the rejecting not the other way around. If she has abandonment issues she might start a new relationship with the first guy that comes along that shows interest as a safety net. This becomes a self fulfilling prophecy as the effort to string this guy along turns into a full blown affair. If you're not married to her make your own exit. If you are in deep, make sure you constantly reassure her you love her like crazy and will never leave her !!!
This is one of the most helpful videos I've ever seen. The info is clear, to the point and well organized. Thank you for being so vulnerable and imparting such useful content. Ten years ago I indulged in some serious limerence over a coworker who became a close friend. It was miserable, but thankfully after a few years she got married and moved away. As soon as she moved, my life improved dramatically. We remain friends and I'll always love her, but the obsession evaporated the moment she cleared her desk. Thank God.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Sometimes, limerence can help us through tough times, but sometimes it hinders our own personal growth. Good thing she moved away. God bless. :)
Infatuation:
1. Chemical cocktail
2. Idealization
3. Novelty & mystery
4. Projection
5. Timing
Obsession:
1. Emotional needs
2. Escapism
3. Lack of control
4. Low self-esteem
5. Fear of rejection
Healthy true love ingredients include:
• Mutual emotional investment
• Reciprocity
• Trust
• Compatibility (beliefs & values)
• Seeing the other’s true self #flaws
• + mutual physical & emotional attraction
Limerence vs true love:
1. Duration & Intensity
2. Reciprocity
3. Fantasy vs Reality
4. Controls Rationality
Excellent summation!
The compatibility issue always irritates me.
Values yes, but in the age of information and with most people struggling to discern what is true and false, beliefs are bound to be wildly inconsistent.
Discussion and resolution is a must.
This can be done where core values are shared, but beliefs are not.
Cheers from Southwest Oklahoma! Thanks for uploading this video. To say that it would have been very helpful in my 20s would be the understatement of the century. 😉😏
There were several infatuations and a couple of limerences that clearly ate my brain over the years, but thankfully none of those instances pulled me into a depression or jeopardized my ability to do my day job. In my view, the thing that stood out in my own head, was the need for mutual romantic attraction. Once I finally figured out that the other party didn't share it, unplugging was much easier to do.
This video should be a must view for young people everywhere, and I appreciate how it is concisely presented without it being dry. If you haven't already found your forever person, I pray that you eventually do, and that your shared journey is both prosperous and soul satisfying.
Came here for the video. Stayed here for the background. WHAT IS THIS PLACE!!?? I am infatuated, obsessed, and in love with this place now that I think of it.
It is beautiful, isn’t it? Near my childhood hometown of Campbell River, BC, Canada :)
@@YourWingmam Wow. Just saw some pictures. Your hometown seems like heaven. Please make more videos around the place.
I am so glad I found this term and that it's being spoken about more and more. I work in Hollywood, so this kind of obsession happens all the time. Too many relationships are built entirely on limerence, especially when you're attractive, wealthy, famous, successful, or all of the above.
If you want someone because you think they'll give you what you're lacking? Red flag.
If they can't have a direct conversation with you, and it feels like they're not even on the same planet as you? Red flag.
True connection is being present with someone. Not trying to "trick," someone else into doing what you want them to do.
100%.
I actually had this come about in my life after I had been through a divorce and started attending a singles group at a church, I was a member of. I met her, and immediately became infatuated with her. She is Greek and has that different Mediterranean female beauty about her that a Southern US male like me is of course fascinated with. I did pursue her, and I failed miserably. I just didn't realize how condescending she could be at times and how she thought a bit highly of herself, until I got on the receiving end of it. After going through that in dealing with her, I then realized that I had dodged a bullet so to speak. That's not a personal attack on her. It's just that she had done that to push me away rather than just talk with me to let me know that she just was not interested in me. I got over her quickly and moved on, and I've been doing well living that bachelor life. Just a simple life lessoned learned. Thank you sharing and I just wanted to share back with you as well. May God richly bless you.
...SAVED for something BETTER!!!
Her rejection was God's protection! Thank you for sharing your story!
@@YourWingmam Yes, I agree. I also want to compliment you on how nice you looked in the video along with the scenery behind you. Canada is a beautiful country.
Thank you Anna !
My business slogan is
" Taking the IM out of IMpersonal "
....and you most certainly live up to that slogan .
In a rushing IMpersonal world ,
It's so reassuring to have Angels of Empathy like yourself in my corner ....
💛💞💓🌺🥀🌹💚💜💕
You’re wonderful, A, glad to be here for you! Thank you so much! 🙏🥰💞
I'm sorry for your losses of your family members, thankful for this material your putting out.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Youve been though some shit Anna. I cant imagine.
I feel this is your strongest work.
Youre more than on the mend. Youre leading
I have and I am *and thank you!*
🙏 ❤️
My celebrity crush (from the Golden Age of Hollywood) marries me in my dreams.😁. Then I wake up feeling confident, flirtatious and ready to meet and keep my keeper. Once I had a nightmare about a bad relationship from my past and my Golden Age celebrity crush turned up and advised me against toxic relationships. I'm probably using this limerende as a grieving process since my girlfriend passed.
First, my condolences. :( And yes, your subconscious is likely using your crush to help you through the grieving process. Sometimes the grief is too much to deal with and we need to check out for little while. I just finished a great book on the neurobiology of grief by Mary-Frances O'Connor, The Grieving Brain. It might help as well. Big hug.
Good morning, Anna, thanks for sharing your story. I just wanted to say you are so put together. You are the real deal. Sorry for your loses. Your such an awesome person. thanks for being you!!!! :)
I appreciate that 🙏
My bout with Limerence started with Beth Harmon and quickly led to the lead actress of that beloved 2020 Netflix mini series centered around the topic of Chess. I believe I know her well, because we met in a previous life. Just recently AT-J revealed herself to me as my guiding spirit. And as you stated, dear Wingmam, she solved a crucial piece of my half century long puzzle: finding a true and endearing spiritual self. I am never alone now. I gaze into her arresting eyes and I know my world becomes complete in every way before the day I die. And for her gift I am eternally grateful.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
I'm honestly fed up with getting into relationship after relationship only for it to end again. I'm tired of the heartbreak, the emotional connection, the getting to know the person and allowing them in only for it to come crashing down because "they're no longer feeling it" or that "we're on different journeys". As a 39-year-old, I just don't have the energy for them anymore with no more love to give.
Big hug, frustrating place to be for sure! Maybe take a break and focus on you and your life for a little while. It's tough to attract the right one when you're feeling drained and disappointed. When you're ready to get back out there, make sure you look for more than chemistry and attraction. Beliefs, values and goals that are in alignment are also critical.
If you could use some sign posts for where to start, you're a prime candidate for my wakeup2luv program. It would give you something useful to focus on. Link if curious: members.wingmam.com/get-women/
Also, you can go through the whole program and if it's not what you hoped for get 100% of your $ back within the first 60 days, so no risk. :)
i've felt this way for years now, the way a man talks and behaves, acts, in a conversation or interaction with a woman, is what either makes or breaks attraction, not the other way around. Another way to put it, its only men that need to know or learn how to talk to women, not the other way around.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
I never knew the term, but I think we all project our hopes and expectations onto the person we want to see in that role. I know I've certainly done it. At great cost to myself and others, no less. We all exist in somewhat of a fantasy world, as there's so much of the world we don't understand, with only our best guess, hopes, fears, delusions, and perhaps even prejudices, to fill in the gaps. Perhaps, this is why humility and forgiveness are such valuable commodities to have at our disposal. It is with the humility in understanding we do not know, that we may be open to seeing what's before us. It's forgiveness that we see past what projections people make, and more importantly, give ourselves another chance to be humble, and again be open to knowing and learning.
By far one of your best videos you've done to date, Anna.
Humility and forgiveness for the win! Beautiful comment, love it. 🤍
I like the background. I have obsessed over a content creator before, but I don't want to share specific details. I ended up disliking them since they felt too attention seeking, narcissistic, and proud. Eventually, I got brusquely pushed away and am not on speaking terms with them. Their following also felt cult-like at times and it was a bad influence on me, so the fallout ended up working in my favor. I don't miss the experience, even if part of me wants to go back. I like what you said about doing something in real life. That has been what I have been doing since the fallout and my life has gotten better, even if I still have thoughts of them at times.
This is why sex before marriage can level out your moods enough to think clearly .
Not everything there is too many factors and non-negotianable items in a lasting relationship to mention. I have read stories where the Virgin till Honeymoon works out magically. However I remember a few stories in small towns where the bride ran away by the Monday after the Saturday wedding and nobody except the guests at the reception had any fun.
I think that getting to know each other,lose the sexual tension get comfortable with each other get to know each others odd quirks then think on how you two are going to tolerate each other's presence till the end of time. You have to love someone or else your going to go your separate ways or kill each other.
It takes a Lotta work and compromise to get over the odd bump in the road.
Best of luck everyone
This was the video I needed! Thank you for always putting out unique and original videos- not just repeats of what every other dating coach puts out.
so glad you bounced back from your dark times - - you appear to be doing well / lookin' good - - take care
This beautiful woman is back with another hit! Thank you again
Thanks for tackling this subject. Good job!
Sadly, after being in a couple weird relationships, I just had to bail out, even though I thought highly of that person. Now, I know that the other person was not seeing the person I was, but a person they wanted me to be and it was not what I wanted but didn't see it at the time. Thanks
Excellent insight, glad this video was helpful!
The only advice i have for men who under that 6ft tall mark and below average looking is acceptance, accept your place and accept the loneliness. It's painful but unfortunately until we embrace that reality the worse we make the pain for ourselves.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
I'm living it too, Aaron!
I bookmarked that video almost as fast as I bookmark good songs. Thank you, Anna. Great stuff.
Thanks for open up .What does not kill makes you stronger and people who go through difficult times have the greatest benefit to society , you are the proof of it .Amazing girl !!!
❤️ 🙂 Thank you very much .I appreciate that 🙏
yes..very detailed, thorough explanation. i love ur honest, witty and direct answers. u keep us grounded and well-informed. thanks anna!
Glad you enjoyed it, thank you for appreciating it!
Thank you Anna, I am going thru this on this very day and did not know it until I saw your video. Because of a date that, in my head, for days before the date was to take place, had already gone perfectly, (my subconscious fantasy) but in reality was cancelled the night before it was supposed to take place, my emotions spiraled into anxiety and I did not know what to do with them. It was painful. After watching your video I found peace and was able to calm down. It all made sense. Very helpful. Thank you again. Very insightful. Good job.
So glad this was helpful for you!
I`m glad you are on the mend ! I went through very similar circumstances and sympathize with you . I will include you in my daily prayers . God Bless you !!
❤️ 🙂 Thank you very much and may God bless you as well 🙏
I have seen tons of Hallmark movies and got the impression that North-American women are all like the female characters portrayed there - kind-hearted, beautiful, caring and honest.
So I have a quick question to all the American and Canadian commenters here ...
I'll be traveling across the US and Canada in February for the first time ...
While I'm at it, I'm planning on meeting as many single women there as I can ...
Do you think a Russian guy has a chance of getting into a romantic relationship with an North American woman and marrying her afterwards? ...
How do you think an North American woman would feel about relocating to Russia and settling down with her husband in a Moscow suburb?
Thank you ...
Thank you for sharing your story. These videos are really helping me level up on self awareness. Keep them coming.
I'm happy the videos have been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
Thank you for this.. gave me some answers on things I’ve questioned about myself and my ex.. took a minute to see her for what she really is and how things went down but this gave me a better idea of what our relationship really was.. again, thank you
Truly amazing and life changing, so helpful and even after years of experiences face planting and coming around the hard way… a respite for the soul, fun to look within present day and find the pieces and get them glued in lol
thank you so much!
Anna is such a fun watch. Such energy. Not to mention, real information is shared.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Thank you Wingmam for sharing a bit of your history and it's influence on you towards helping others. This is another must watch relationship video. Thank you for that as well! Red flags should go up any time you deviate from your authentic self because of a relationship. Either it's because your authentic self is improving (good) or you are molding yourself around the relationship just to keep it (bad). The wisdom is in the knowing the difference. 🙂
I find lessons more relatable when someone can.write their words from a heart felt experience.
Words of wisdom right there! And glad you appreciated the personal info, I'm not always sure if it'll help :))
@@YourWingmam It reminds me that you can use painful experiences to become better...and you have! Just compare your videos now vs a few years ago. Your energy also looks a lot better! Keep doing whatever you are doing!
I emphasise with you and my condolences on the loss of your mother and the other two. It's funny to get your old video's from time to time and see you progress over the years. I'm happy for you you're doing okay now.
Thank you so much! Progress not perfection :))
@@YourWingmam perfection is'nt achievable. To love one must see flaws while seeing effort taken. But your knowledge comes real close. I love to see the human behind the content. And I value you. Thank you!
Bless you. Glad you're feeling a bit better. This is excellent. Yes I can see patterns here. Infatuation and needing validation isn't the best. Been there done that and also been on receiving end. Not healthy. There is a lot to be said for the 'slow burn' and delayed gratification.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
I've been watching you for years and... This is your best work... The scenery suits you extremely well.
Thank you very much! I appreciate that 🙏❤
@YourWingmam My pleasure, M'am.
I want to thank you for making me aware of the word "limerence". It's a good one!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
Your hair looks amazing Anna, so pretty 😍
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Thank you very much for this video. I just recently understood how limerence played a huge role in my own life in regards to someone I knew in college (30 years ago) and how that affected me even to this day.
You're welcome! I hope it'll help you move forward in a healthy way!
This past summer sucked . I lost my mom , at the same time, a sudden horrible mouse invasion in my apt. that took three months to correct. (insomnia) . Oh man you had a quadruple whammy. Prayers on that. I've been tick bit 3X. Reading Steven Buhners' "Healing Lyme " was pivotal . A lot of his protocols also work with West Nile Virus, which damn near killed me in 2010. (coinfection) . I have a huge pile of Japanese Knotweed root in the corner.
Respect for sharing your story. Thanks
Yes, I have been infatuated,several times. The "puppy love" has gotten me into problems before.I was young and didn't understand what idealism and attachment were(and their root causes in my life!). I was blinded by my ego and didn't have enough life experiences to guide me. I had unresolved personal issues of things that I hadn't addressed, therefore I compensated and was in denial about them. I am learning to be responsible and self-sufficient now. I'm making progress daily. Now, I look before I leap!🐸
Anna, Thank you for all you do! I followed you (and your advice) for the last 3 years. I found true love and it was confirmed by this video (LOL 😁) I hope you find YOUR person. Thank you so much!!!
Thanks for your transparency
9:16 It would have been funny if Butler appeared to you in a dream as King Leonidas shouting *THIS! IS! LIMERENCE!* before kicking you into a well.
But in all seriousness, you've been through the wringer and share yourself with the world in a manner that I would find utterly exhausting. My condolences and appreciation for your content. A beautiful West Coast vista has me thinking of home.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I LOVE the peaceful background.
Beautiful area indeed!
This hits people with AuDHD especially hard. I have driven away a few people from limerance that I would have preferred to keep in my life. Now I'm finally able to control it but it took me way too long to gain control.
At least you’re in control now, progress not perfection! :)
i suffered from limerance my entire life, i never knew that there was a name for my condition, i am two years into my healing process
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
Wow Anna! I’m in the middle of one now! I don’t know which it is, but I’m afraid it is one sided with me having more desire than her! I’ve got to listen to this a few more times and seriously figure this out. Thanks so much for the video and its timing with me! You’re so helpful!
Good luck brother. It's hard. Some women will feed you just enough reciprocity to string you along for years
Anna, what a fantastic video, this is just so educational, I will have to watch this quite a few times to be able to absorb the material, which I appreciate you expressing. I have had so many factuations with women, thinking that I have found love, but only to find that they didn't feel the same. I 'm so pleased that I could walk away, eventually getting over the woman. Yes I agree that love is more than stars in your eyes and being consumed with her. Thankyou for talking about your own personal life, and how things effected you, especially with the loss of three of your own family. It just goes to show, that everyone can be effected by personal situations.
This video is amazing it will help me in understanding what true love is. Thankyou Anna.
So glad you found this video educational! And yes, a good reminder that we don't really know what others are going through. :)
Thats a tough time period you went through.. Been there myself. It doesn’t let go easy, but on the positive side, it open your eyes of what’s really important to yourselves. Take care 🤍
Big hug and yes, at its darkest there is also acute awareness of what is actually important.
Hey Anna, This was excellent. What I see today is that so many people are completely hung up on what seems small. Age difference, height difference, friend groups, etc. It seems like EVERYTHING is a huge deal breaker. You talked about not trying to find the perfect match and I see people on that rudderless ship, everrywhere. What I am also dealing with is when stuff should be a red flag or even a stop sign. Thanks for your videos.
Glad you enjoyed it and I agree! 🙏
I appreciate your videos and information. It is truly unfortunate that you were challenged by all those adversities in such a short time. I am a bit surprised that you were not overwhelmed. That was a lot to deal with even if you were eating the elephant a bite at a time. I am praying for you. God bless, help, and heal you. Have a wonderful rest of the weekend.
You have a wonderful taste for sceneries. Nice choice!
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Thank you very much for this video ❤
You're welcome, thank you for watching! 💞
We always get a wonderful presentation and very informative. Thank you!! 😊😊😊😊
My pleasure ❤️
Happy to see you covering the topic of limericks. I've written a ribald limerick myself about a young lady from Nantucket.
Ha!!
May I be as so bold to say , this video is so beautiful in so many ways Anna the sun shines for you today 🕊️🌞
Wow, thank you so much! 🙏
@@YourWingmam Thank you
I was unaware of this concept by name. I am guilty of this quite a bit, as I tend to overthink everything related to romantic relationships, or the possibility of one.
Sorry to hear what you went through in your personal life. Us on this RUclips channel are your family too; I have been listening to you for over 4 years now. Happy Sunday!
Thank you so much! Comments like yours really helped, too! #wingmamfam
Fantastic video on a most interesting topic. Thanks!
My pleasure ❤️
All this advice is so much to take on board.
🙏 ❤️
This is - BY FAR - your best video, AMJ. Absolutely outstanding. God bless you for sharing so much on your own experiences and struggles. By the way, you could have done much worse than Gerard Butler 😁Yes, this hit home in many areas...I feel illuminated.
Glad to hear you are getting well, physically and emotionally , and again your video and lectures are really enjoyed wish you all the love in the world as I have been down the road you have described myself. Once again on a nice Sunday in northern Calif. God Bless there beautiful.
My heart goes out to you! And thank you for the well-wishes and for watching! God bless :))
Deffo the slow burn is best... I've been infatuated with a girl before but I don't think she felt the same way, in hindsight the vibes I gave out were probably sufficating and I can see why too much interest/ obsession works the opposite way and can scare a woman away. Great video as always, I love your down to earth way of explaining things. Nice to see kitty! 🐈❤
Yes, so true, infatuation can lead to people-pleasing behaviours that are a turnoff, especially if she's not already also interested. Thank you for sharing your experience! 💞😻
So good to see you back.
You must be chilled recording there by the water.
Extra effort.👍👍👍
Hence the hands in pockets, yes, thanks for picking up on that!
Id say isnt this obvious? Until i ponder how often it happens. In that moment, one is so caught up an events that one doesn’t take the step back to look at it and recognise these things.
If this video gives people pause, and perhaps in that moment, realise the obvious, then it definitely served a positive purpose
Thankyou for looking out for us.
I appreciate it and you
Your support and good intent, even from a far… do mean a lot . A video from you perks up the day you. You often have a playfulness to you mannerisms and tone that are infectious (definitely a lived example of why guys should maintain that light hearted playful energy.) Even delving into the back catalogue.
Thanks Anna
Greetings from Germany
What a thoughtful comment, thank you Germany Man! 🙏
God bless you for all your help. Love your videos.
Thank you so much for watching and God bless!
I have definitely met plenty of men that have been like this! Completely obsessed and in fantasy world! It’s sad!
Never realized this was what I was going thru,it's a journey you must go through to realize the madness I put myself thru.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
@@YourWingmam really wigged out Anna.Never realized what I was going through. Thank you for all your help and wisdom.
@@YourWingmam truly truly I say to you.Blessed be the name of the Lord
Honestly, most people from their late teens and onward would do well to watch this. It could prevent a lot of grief.
I have had those fantasys in the past but i live in reality now that im a middle aged man those fantasys get you nowhere but delusion good vid btw.
Dear Professor Jurgensen:
WOW, what a video; we are even learning vocabulary now. I will try to fit limerence into a conversation or two this week for sure.
In all seriousness it really was a great video, well explained and with a good amount of information. Kudos on that.
Unfortunately, I have become obsessed with a woman before. Not to a stalking level, but she was first in my life for everything; so much that it alienated me from my family, and that was beyond painful. Now, I am not blaming her; I should have put an end to it as soon as it started. I should have known better and should have put a stop to it immediately.
Now let me tell you this here pretty kady, as a Texan I have been to the Texas State Fair a time or two, and let me tell you my pretty pen pal from Canada, deep fried Twinkies are amazing. If you are ever in my neighborhood in October I will treat you to one. It will change your life.
That is all for now. I am glad you are doing well despite all the things that have happened in your life and that you are still dealing with. Hand in there Anna, you got this. Also, you are way out of Gerard Butler's league.
Have a great week Anna, you looked very pretty in this video. Hug and a peck on each cheek. Sending you love from TEXAS!!!
You were young and only knew what you knew at the time. No shoulda coulda's necessary on this one. Thank you for the generous compliments, the Twinkie offer, and your continued encouragement! (As an aside, Gerry and I would not even be slightly compatible in real life lol) Thanks, Texas! ;) x
OMG! THANK YOU SO MUCH !!
This was a helpful reminder to me, a woman. Thanks, Wingmam.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you! 😊
My pleasure ❤️
Anna, keep going hard, keep consistently creating good content, and keep giving people this work. I got your back.
-Team Anna
I appreciate it!
Very cool of you being real. 👍
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Very helpful video.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
Anna, this is such a great video, I plan to watch it multiple times. I wish I’d had this wisdom when I was in my twenties and thirties! I would have saved myself lots of heartbreak. I’m sorry you went through so many painful times. I’m glad you are feeling better. Did you do the whole video in one take? Love seeing Vancouver Island in the distance.❤
I’m glad you enjoyed it! One take, several cuts along the way lol And thank you for your thoughtfulness…what doesn’t kill us…can make us stronger and (if we allow it) more compassionate. :)
Wish I had seen this video 50 years ago. It's the story of my love life. Nice background and of coarse the for ground is the best.😊
🙏
I just recently stumbled upon this RUclips channel, and - I'm not gonna lie - there was quite a contrast between the old, flirtatious, giggly videos, and for say the current one. My sympathies. Nevertheless, this makes the content (past, present, and future - hopefully for a long time) even more intriguing. Cool stuff, keep up the good work! Best wishes!"
Thank you for your thoughtfulness, and for watching and appreciating! Even though life was pretty awful for a few years, this channel, the viewers, and their comments were a big help in keeping me going, too. :)
Could not agree more. You are 100% right. I recall two women in particular and there were probably more where I created a fictional version of them that they were really warm and nice when they kind of were not as warm & nice as I thought. Looking back one especially seemed sarcastic and slightly dismissive while the other was deceptive and carrying on with another guy behind my back unknown to me. Yeah, I’m older and wiser but I absolutely without a doubt created fictitious versions of some women that was not like their true selves and it did not help me understand them at all. The root of it all is putting them on a pedestal. That is how it all starts and goes from there. The mistakes are probably from a combination of a lack of experience and lack of confidence. In essence, I did not know what I was doing but beneath it all was a bumbling innocent mistakes that kept me going in circles for longer than needed. Again, you forgive yourself for being human and less than perfect and you move on.
Wonderful comment, thank you for your candor and insight! Progress not perfection :)
I had done that one time, I was a teenager, fast forward to my mid 30s I had a friend who did all that to a co-worker, he voiced his imaginary fantasy to me and all my friends as if it was real. Then after being friends with him for a couple years I realized it was like I'm supposed to play big brother, keep in mind he is 30 well I did my best to grow him up and he didn't like that I'd kept telling him he didn't have a relationship with this girl but my efforts did no good I did what I thought was best at the time. But one who would rather create their own pain and heartache etc.(well that's their choice in the end)I know it may sound bad to some but me trying to get him to wake up to reality and see he'd only accomplished creeping her out to the point she'd left that employer. Well he'd stopped talking to me. And I feel no guilt over it and I know that I'd done that while I was a teenager and I'm very lucky to of learned early on.
Did you notice what she did here? she replaced an 'unhealthy' fantasy with a more 'healthy' fantasy'. the major problem with people such as yourself ( I was just like you as well, until I learned better) is you CANT throw cold water on people like that and expect for them to respond well and to thank you. That is an unhealthy fantasy on YOUR part! Once again, Anna show us the proper way to do it by explaining WHY she was fantasizing about her 'dream guy' Its the same reason why your friend did it as well. He was missing something and the fantasy filled the need. So next time you try to be a good samaritan and help, keep this in mind and you need to direct his energies to a healthy infatuation, while gradually trying to reason with him. But thank you for trying to be a good guy; clearly your heart was in the right place!
I had a limerence happen to me a few years as a lonely teen, it totally kicked my ass. I didn’t hear the term limerence until several months into the ordeal, I stumbled across it one day, did some further reading and realized how stunningly similar what I was reading was to what I’d been living with. From that point forward I tried to consciously combat the feelings, but unfortunately I still made some bad choices I’m still feeling the ramifications of. I gotta say looking back it’s one of the most cringeworthy and embarrassing things I did, it’s truly pathetic. To be fair I wasn’t really in my right mind during the height of it though, I was deluded.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
5:08 There he is!
I was looking in the water thinking he might appear like the Loch Ness Monster.
Lol ;)
OMG Anna! You have Hashimoto's as well??? It is so debilitating, at least it has been for me. No wonder I like you so much!
Stay strong! GH
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
@@YourWingmam anytime. At least you know someone now if you need to bend an ear to get things related off your chest.
A good video, I learnt so much. The story at @10:50 however is the path to the friendzone.
Glad you learned something! The friend zone can be abated with other strategies. (Look for my playlist on the friend zone.) :)
Gliding towards 300k followers, you deserve them and even more[I remember the video you made for the 100k milestone, not the best day for you; back then I thought "she's good, she's real and she care a lot about her subscribers“ I haven't changed my mind a bit, if not to have a higher consideration of you]. "See you" next week 😉
Thank you so much! Comments like yours helped keep me going through that long storm. :))
You are my celebrity, crush Anna!!!❤❤❤
❤ 🙂
Anna presentation is superb with well thought out presentation, effective "bullet" points, good sound quality in an outdoor setting, clever popups, nice drawings, good scenery and great speaking style. What is not to like? Her points are worth considering to determine if it's a prospective romance is actually a "dead end."
Thank you so much!!
Anna; you're looking healthy these days. Glad you're doing better. 🙂
Thank you! 🙏
If I don't remind myself to step back and think this is exactly what I fall into and I have to remind myself that no one is perfect and no one person can be the main source of happiness in life. Emotions come and go, real love is staying together even when life sucks.
Also, I can't imagine going through all that at one time, but it looks like you came out of stronger than ever.
Wise words! And I don’t know how I got through it either, helping others helped me.,🙏
very helpful as I get over my May/December romance with a beautiful young lady who fulfilled all these needs . it's hard but it will pass
Nice background 👌
Glad you enjoyed it! It was cold out lol Let me know what you think of the video once you've had a chance to watch it! :))
@YourWingmam Anna, keep yourself warm , i hope my message provides a warmth, too, and keep scarf handy to wardoff any cold wind effect. Hope you are having coffee ☕️ too. Sure thing! The topic is good👍 along with your scientific approach...
More confirmation that I'd rather stay single & get lots of casual action. The first part is easy. I'm still trying to find out how to achieve the second part.
pay sex workers
Unfortunately, you cannot learn how to accomplish the second part by habituating the first part.
😂
@@cmanycrows8400 How can I get casual action?
1. Go to the bar at closing.
2. Don't catch feelings! ;)
Gerard Butler here. I never knew you felt this way.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Nice jumper and hair style👍