A Real Life Narcissistic Abuse Story
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- Опубликовано: 1 июл 2024
- 🔴 New Course: Narcissistic Cults Decoded
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Timestamps:
00:00 | Introduction
05:47 | Stella meets her ex
08:00 | The Abuser
10:27 | The relationship appears
13:58 | Moving in
16:40 | He's WHAT?!
19:19 | His track record
23:13 | Worst memory
27:07 | Finding Richard
28:17 | Her Abuser did this all day
31:57 | The breakup
34:52 | Stella's Advice
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This video is different.
Stella, a good friend and strength coach is sharing with us a very intimate and haunting part of her life with us.
This is her story of being Nacissistially abused.
She shares some of the highlights of her experience, as well as the deepest, darkest parts of the relationship at the hands of her abuser.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE.
ALL RE-ENACTMENT CONTENT IN THIS VIDEO IS STRICTLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES
PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTHCARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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#narcissist #emotionalabuse #narcissism 
Развлечения
Hear More About Stella and Her Story Part 2 of This Chat which will premier right after you finish watching this
ruclips.net/video/BrI_qLS25ZU/видео.html
✅ Follow Stella on Instagram: instagram.com/strongwithstella/
✅ STRONGWITHSTELLA Online Course: www.strongwithstella.com/strongwithstella-course
I am in desperate need of help! It has gotten so insane since I left the cult I felt like I was a part of living on a farm with my x husband and his whole family. I was beaten by my MIL in my front yard and strangled to death by my x husband. The county this happened in would not let me press charges on them. Then proceeded to give him full custody of our son a month after the 2nd time he strangled me. This is insanity I am dealing with all on my own. I am no longer homeless though and have hope that justice will be served somehow someway!
Hello Richard, I find the idea of you interviewing someone to share their experience really awakening and I was wondering whether you would be willing to interview some more people so you can ask them questions and they would tell their story because we all have different stories to tell but all of them are interesting to listen to. I would love to share my crazy flipping cold-blooded story with your viewers. Thanks again for the invaluable work you put into each of your videos.
This a painfully slow moving interview. And btw, who is this woman? You never introduced her.
How can I tell my story? I would love to, because its one I'm sure alot of people could benefit from.
Safe money and make sure it's I your own bank account separate that's what got me out by the grace of God it just worked out that way.
Her advice on leaving a narcissist is so good. Don't spend energy arguing with him. Conserve your energy as much as you can. Spend your energy towards working, making money and saving money, so you can leave the situation. Perfect.
Yep. What I'm doing.
I don’t understand how she couldn’t leave earlier lol imagine being that weak
Also imagine surviving psychopaths as adoptive parents
thisnis what i did.. it was hard. i thought i couldn't make it. it's been 8 years since i left and now i couldn't imagine myself still with my abusers.
tough, when the narcissist gave birth to you and you can't leave cause you're a child
@@N0N4M30 don't be naive.
My first red flag was very simple. I traveled to see him, only 3 hours drive, and thought making breakfast would be a nice thing to do. On the second morning, I put on very soft blues music, and I pulled the bacon and eggs out of the fridge. I sliced open the bacon package, put the pan on the stove. Literally as I was laying the bacon towards the pan, he walked in and YANKED the pan off the burner and said , DON'T EVER DO THAT!!. He assumed I'd just sat there with a pan on a burner for hours *eyeroll*. I'm from the South, I know how to cook. The pan had been there for maybe 5 seconds. That guy couldn't make a box of mac and cheese if he tried. The look he gave me, Richard, I'll never forget. The look. I felt like a scared small child, and how do I fix my "parent" from being mad at me even though I had done nothing wrong.The moment I felt joy, pretty, a little bit confident, a bit sexy just for him...I was punished. It's a sick feeling in your stomach. They always want you helpless, OR, for you to think and feel like you are.
The look - yes!
"They always want you helpless OR for you to think and feel you are!
Spot on!
WOW 😳
Such a sweet lady. You would think why would she be with such a loser, but it just goes to show how powerful the enticement and entrapment ability of a narcissist really is. They play on all your doubts, fears and weaknesses to maintain control using lies, confusion and blackmail
Why? Because he was likely smoking hot like her. The good looks make it hard to leave. I'm in it right now. No contact is so hard.
@@chickensandwich3398 I’ve been there. The question to ask yourself is ‘are you willing to put looks above progress and well being?’ If you’re with a narcissistic person you are most likely stuck in a rut making no progress and living a mostly miserable relationship. In 10 years that won’t change but looks will fade. You only get one life and staying in the same place for 10 years without progress is a high price to pay for temporary visual satisfaction.
My mom would do this. One time she said to me “all guys want is sex.” Disgusting behavior. My ex has the same mentality it’s all just manipulation so when I started treating them the same mirroring their toxicity they didn’t like it. I’m also a truth teller and people don’t like that 😂
Chicken sandwich sweetheart, people stay with unattractive individuals all the time. Don't speculate. Just go on with the facts are.
So many trolls and bots in this comment section. Very interesting. Almost as though there are people being dispatched to disinform and demoralize women or something. Hmmmmm
My abuser isolated me from all friends and family and used to tell me that no one will ever love me as much as he did. I escaped by leaving the city and going no contact
I’m sorry that’s awful
I want to take moment to celebrate Richard. He opened my eyes and gave me hope, he gave me strength to leave my serial cheating wife. I spent years working on myself and now I’m happy with new baby and relationship I’m respected in. Thank you Richard, you changed my life and gave me second chance, your material pulled me from Dante’s inferno and I walked out of hell I was in. I owe you more than you know.
Wow how did you do it can you share ? Was it his course or his RUclips videos only would love to hear so I can recover in my own journey. Thank you and I really wish you all the best 🎉🎉🎉
Courageous lady to speak out, in a world of Haters that redirect blame and Victim Shame. I'm grateful for her boldness❤️
Wimin being wimin; how courageous.
Truly a very courageous woman. Glad she’s ok now.
Wtf is wrong with people to blame victims. I have had my fair share of this
This is what they are capable of it's A Narcissistic creature not a human being which is what they are 👹
so sad how social media is full of people attacking victims..
I'd like to tell everyone that any home pretty much by yourself is better than living with a narcissist
I'm Croatian and can relate to her personal story. So much unhealed traumas in eastern Europe. It's also harder to he independent financially so it perpetuates for longer.
Yes, I have noted much narcissism in east europeans. I think it is born at the intersection of entitlement and deprivation. They feel entitled as europeans yet come from poor countries they want to leave. So many change their names, suggesting shame, from Melania Knaus to Anna Delvvy pretending to be Germans.
I’m an American of Latino heritage who dated a Serb and married a Polak. My heart goes out to all the women of Eastern Europe. These men are so psychological and emotionally abusive that it can drive anyone to a very vulnerable mental state. They use women like pieces on a chessboard.
I really think the parents need to do better.
Me too all my family from booth side's and ofcoure I ended with one 😏 Im still picking pieces of me remembering who I was and who I am.
I dated on and off an Albanian guy from New York. Listening to this beautiful lady is like hearing my own story.
Yeah, but you have your childhood as a reference right?
I grew up in narc environment, mother abused me.. healing starts at my 38.
Good luck to you, let's go to purity and don't look back.
This woman looks like a superhero from a Hollywood blockbuster - Eg The Matrix. Thanks for sharing your story ❤
She does she's gorgeous
The pandemic amplified abusive relationships, unfortunately
But it also made the situation very explicit and opened the eyes of many of us.
I got out in November of 2018. I don’t think I could have survived going through the pandemic in that situation.
The biggest abuse was the WHO, governments, the media and the so-called paid experts.
@@larrybradley3809 I lived with a psycho narcissist for 4 years
Stella must have strong boundaries. She realised the truth about this dude pretty early on considering the circumstances. I got stuck too but it took me 23 years to extract myself. In fact it only really happened when the kids grew up and extracted me. Stella's Momma must have raised her right. Thanks very much for sharing her story of strength with us.
She had a life where she had to fight for everything she got..when you meet a predator then you will be combative as well..combat yourself out of the situation..others breakdown and betray themselves
I have told my partner many times that I should start filming her so that others can believe what she is really like at home, behind four walls.
Do it so you can se it.
If you stay in abuse you are tramabondet and cant se reality yourself.
I wish i had done this damn
It's hard. Check this out-
Have you ever set a camera up.. indoors or outside.. and an animal (in my case Cats) the cats will ALWAYS walk right up to the camera (it was usually an old phone) but they walk right up to the camera, their nose hones in on the actual lens that is filming! Usually these cameras were hidden, cloaked.
You might say 'oh the cat saw you fkg around in that area' or something. But it happened enough times over the years to be proven it wasn't that. The cat could come by hours later.
SO! The same I found to be true w narcs. My final narc relationship was 2012-2017. I have not wanted to date since.
HOWEVER !!! UGH!!! The very next roommate I got (at my LOWEST ever!! Just needing solitude and research and recovery. AND needed BADLY to rebuild myself and my Life)
BUT this roommate began gaslighting me from the beginning. I was privy. I saw it. But had just been completely isolated in my previous relationship! Friends I knew well for 8-10yrs just suddenly stopped talking to me! The mailman is known for six years acted differently. The landlord of 8yrs suddenly flinched violently when I lifted my hand to pat him on the back!
Well, with the narc boyfriend.. I eventually found that in the very VERY beginning... Friends only.. he was a maintenance man so he offered to vacuum out my vents. It was then that he placed micro cams.
SO! Long ago I was a bartender. I knew of a cab driver. Association. I hadn't spoken to him in six years. And before .. I'd only spoken to him at the bar. Nothing at length!
Well, it came down to December 2017. I had like 9bags, a toolbox and 3 guitars. A small amp. And was behind a dumpster, barely able to get WiFi enough to look through Facebook messenger. There was NO ONE to call. Not even to tell my story to much less ask for a ride or a place to stay!
So I saw the cab driver's name. We became FB friends but had no conversations. Then six years went by.
I messaged something like "Hi, do you remember me?"
He did. He said he was just home watching the game so he'd be right there to get me.
And he was.
And he started major boundary crossing, slander, food tampering, raging, and love bombing all at the same time that second week.
In the past 5yrs I've attempted many many escapes. He sabotages. Plus he makes his rounds relentlessly visiting anyone I may have begun a friendship with.
He had been drugging me and raping me when I'm passed out. Early in I saw the hand print bruise on my arm. Over the years I've become a McGyver with locking my door.
When I tell ppl the story .. they say something stupid like "looks like it's time for a locking doorknob" ARE YOU FKG KIDDING ME!!! I'm SO FAR past ANYTHING a normal person will even think of!!
But, whew, haven't told that much in about a year (since I retrained my brain to stop ruminating)
Well . . The whole point is .. that... Everytime I've tried to record his trades or his crazy double speak gaslighting... He MaGiCallY calms down!!
I could be in another room and grab an old phone, turn on record video or audio, hide it in my pocket... Re enter the room he's in, with my present phone in my hand. Playing a game or whatever... And it's like he knows.
He can be gone and I set up the recording device for when he gets back. He'll be text fighting or over a call but enters the casa and uses fake nice guy tones. Other times with nothing recording he can rage on and on!! How does he know the difference!?
A few years ago ... I'd came up with a term. . Daily Discord. Every fucking day.. there must be a fight!
After I knew it was on purpose. . I noticed his eyes smiling. HE LIKES IT!! And as that evolved, with me evolving my reactions... I'd been SURE he was a demon.
Now I find myself smiling when I think of how his life review will kill him lol
He's the biggest Crybaby Bully ever!!
Well .. during the times I thought he was an actual demon. . I thought about how the cats could detect cameras that were recording and thought - I guess demons can too.
Angel on the streets, devil behind closed doors
I found out about his new supply,over the course of two weeks i recorded unquestionable evidence of us being a couple living together(cuddling in bed,asking him how much he loves me etc) then i told him i qas going to fumigate the house,packed his crap,sent the video to the new fiancee and watched him get karma.DONT TELL THEM WHAT I INTEND TO DO,OUGHT TO DO,ETC. Plan,execute,dont look back.
It’s very brave of her to share her story. Wishing her peace in her heart 💜.
Id say Getting a message from Dubai for a woman is already a HUGE red flag
I will spend the rest of my dam life being suspicious of any man who wants to “help me” with any thing. He definitely is going to want some thing in exchange for his “help”. I don’t believe any thing in life is free, and I no longer believe people do things for any one “because it’s the right thing to do”. I think all relationships are transactional now. I didn’t realize that before. I didn’t realize the currency and value of an emotional transaction. I didn’t realize the value of my emotions, energy and loyalties. Or the DAMAGE that can be done if that “emotional transaction” AND entire relationship is not balanced and fair, with absolute moral and ethical trust.
If I’m in a relationship where I’m giving and not getting, my new opinion is that I’m being exploited and it either needs to be addressed and corrected. Or addressed and ended. I don’t do gaslighting, lies, bullshit, stalling, or avoidance any more. Face your shit and own it like a grown up, or you can’t be around me any more. Period. 🤷🏻♀️
You wil get better and you will have like a sixt sense you will know who is toxic
SO much narc abuse begins because of financial challenges...this was a really valuable conversation, thankyou for sharing your story ❤
This is so true , in the 2 I've had and hope the only 2 I have..my living situation was messed up and just happened to start dating them and moved in wayyyyy to quickly ,against my will , i knew that would mess up the relationship in the long run but i just didnt know what i had coming that was the least of my worries..wow that makes so much sense now
People always want to know why we stayed in the abuse me my self did not realize that someone could be so cruel you want to believe the best from these people once you realize that this toxic relationship will not change you must have a plan to get out if it's life or death get out right away i was told about this lady she had4 children she could not take any more abuse from her husband she said enough is enough she put her 4 children in car and left so sad sign Cynthia Smith
Oh my gosh I remember when I first met my ex I took up to 2-3 months before I became intimate with him because I just wasn't sure. But the whole time he just kept love bombing me. But it was only after 6mths that I noticed the first incident of his mood swings. I thought I should step back but then he love-bombed me again. All the signs were there but I didn't even know what a narcissist was. I am so glad I finally freed myself but it took me a long time. Your soul is trying to tell you but a narcissist preys on you by confusing you. Most victims become ill which I did whicmakes you weaker again. In the end I wasn't sure if I wanted to go on living. But the love of my own son, not his child, kept me going.
My friends whom I had always had before I met him knew they had to help me realise that the relationship was toxic and thank God I finally threw him out. Around that time I believe God sent me my first video about symptoms of narcissistic abuse. I felt like someone turned a light on for me and also I realised I was not alone. From then I researched and researched everything about narcissists. I followed all the advice especially the no-contact rule (when possible) and grew stronger. It takes awhile to recover and you learn to be more peaceful within yourself. I believe Narcissistic abuse is just as dangerous as physical abuse but not so obvious at first. Thankfully people are starting to understand this type of abuse. I strongly feel that schools should teach children about the bad effects of this type of abuse so they protect themselves.
Every person of dating age should know about narcissist a lot of people married never heard of narcissist I know I learned about narcissist going through a divorce I know now these people are led by a evil spirit grown up people with a little child inside them they throw temper tantrum no one should go through this kind of abuse I went through both physical and mental abuse I am in the healing process with the help of Jesus Christ being in my life I am learning to love myself I don't make my self a victim because I chose to keep it moving I pray for everyone that has been through any kind of abuse physical and mental healing is so important if you are not healed you will make the same mistakes Jesus Christ is the only one that brings healing in ones life I pray for the abuser to receive Jesus Christ in their life sign Cynthia Smith
Her advice at the end is top notch. Stop explaining, make a plan, and leave. I relate so much to her story albeit, without the romantic component in my situation (at least on my part! I thought I found a mentor and friend and boy-was I naive!). Great interview. I hope things get better for her going forward. 💜
So true. Only someone who experienced this knows how confusing and scary they are.
And how everything has to go according to their plan.
They encourage the fights - to deplete your energy..
Fights are attention for them i.e. any attention good or bad is what they crave. Like public relations for celebs even negative stories are attention better than being forgotten. In the end nasty serial killers want to be known and notorious.
I found about narcissism after 8years of brake up 😂 dang, God saved me and made sure I healed. Without too much consequences 🎉
I was with a narcissist..he was married the whole time..8 years later we got married..wasn't legal of course...after 16 years (8 years after that) was when I found out. 16 years lost to a lie. Richard I had no idea what a narc was. The pain was unbearable that all my 20s and 30s where a lie. When I found you Mr Grannon..the world opened back up again and I finally was able to start healing. THANK YOU
They wait for the breakup talk to detonate the biggest traumatising bomb composed of the fears, weakest points that you shared with them.
He was playing father guru. The only 1 who can fix these problems. He's the savior. Sometimes when they take to much drugs they tell on themselves.
Each one of us that has been through physical and mental abuse has a story to tell praise God we made it out alive thank you Jesus Christ sign Cynthia Smith
I am in!!!! Richard you are the bomb with your work!!! Saving lives, hearts, souls and spirits!
She is a Beautiful woman Inside and outside and You’ve been a great host Richard thanks to both of you
Man
The last part of the interview was best. “Don’t waste your time ‘fighting’ with a narcissist!” says it best. They are waste if your life. Drop them and move on.. you are worth way, way more. Thanks Stella 💝 that hits home!
To speak and sort your thoughts in another language is amazing.
I'm so sorry for her. I am new to this channel and I have experienced severe amounts of narcissistic abuse. I found a someone online and then 3 years ago she saved me from going back
When she says how he was super helpful and kind for no reason, yeah, they do that
@14:54 - I hate the pressure that “friends” put on us to be in a relationship. Most of the time they are miserable
You can see hindsight that he totally took advantage of the normal feelings of anyone going through the rigors of moving to a new city/country, starting a new job, trying to get set up in a foreign environment, and knowing no one there. Or as they say, exploiting situational times of vulnerability in others. And of course, COVID didn’t help either. Goes to show it could happen to anyone Bcuz if you’re human, or even a strong human, there will be times when trials and uncertainty come around to all of us making us vulnerable in at least those moments. She sounds like a lovely person tho and I’m so glad she got out and could eventually get back to living her life without such a leeching parasite.
And yah. I mean also just not knowing anything about these predatory MOs. The ones they’ll snag up so often are pretty much just the ones who don’t know what this is. Some of us could also have come from toxic family etc (and be more “used to it”), but anyone is better off regardless…once they learn more about it. So knowledge is indeed power when it comes to these sorts.
Plus what she said. Find money or resources. I was fleeing toxic fam and well let’s just say not having enough money made it even harder. But at that point living in my car for awhile even didn’t sound half as bad as being under the same roof as a narc. For sure they can push you to believe the lie better (such as you are nothing without me or you have nobody but me or you’ll never make it without my help) if it really looks that financially bleak for you. And when you maybe have to go flee and find yourself all alone in a strange town or can’t get viable employment for a minute, etc. Plus at times you can wonder if any employer would even want you. You could get that far down.
But well, I survived regardless and I have zero regrets about fleeing….even as clumsy and as ignorant as I was with all of it.
It's frightening the level of cognitive dissonance people who are being abused by narcissists will go through. I'm so pleased this nice lady managed to break free.
The sad story repeats itself no matter where the narc lives or is from. So many similarities, exploiting women to live. Sorry losers, karma is real. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your story!
Also Croatian have a Serbian boyfriend. He was a climber. He love booming me. Move very quickly in my apartment sleeping till noon not working. I'm working six day per week, he is only climbing and exerciseing. His favorite gaslighting sentence was: " It is all in your head". Im tired because is in my had, I'm insured its in my had. He gaslited me, blameing me. He will say one thing than pretend he never said that. He was making me crazy. I have to apologize to him for things he done. Before going climbing with friends he will provoce me havely and than with friends acting happy chill, charismatic, minetime I was stressed I was the crazy one.
Im glad I'm far away from that nightmare. I'm happy he is out of my country out of my site, he got back to his country yes Im that lucky. I stil have some ptsd but I'm triving and I'm free🙂 I learn about narcissism.
Now I can smell a narcissist from a mile! Like Dr Ramani say whan is to good to be true run!!!
Hvala na Vasoj prici.
Hvala sto ste svojim primjerom ohrabrili i nas ostale da odemo zauvijek ❤️
We should name and shame them 😊
Gene Colvin Deray. Quinn Jacobson. Done! And...
@@almohvn33 Quinn Jacobson is the artist/photograopher? for Gene Colvin Deray nothing came up on google, who is he?
Heartbreaking and inspiring….many thanks for the courage and vulnerability to share your story Stella.
I like this format where you interview people who experienced narcissistic abuse. It offers a richer explanation of what NPD is by making it concrete as opposed to conceptual. This is a very helpful format.
Nice feedback! Thanks for helpful share.
Way to go Stella. You’re a highly capable, strong woman.
When he told her that she had no one, after she told him she was leaving, that was his insecurity speaking. I'm sure she didn't give all the details, but it from what she said it seems she got off relatively lightly.
I just had a neighbour from upstairs jump the other week, that was a hell of a shock I can tell you. He was in the divorce courts and from what he told me, his wife sounded very much like a narc and she got the courts to turn the screws on him. Aside from him, I've lost 3 friends over the last ten years to narcs. About 15 years ago I was also in a relationship with a narc, not too bad, she almost turned my life upside down but I managed to get away relatively unscathed. But it wasn't pleasant in the least. I haven't dated since, I'm approaching my 50s and I honestly think that's probably it for me relationship-wise. It seems narcs are everywhere...
But that experience taught me so much about these types of people, and your videos, Richard, have taught me a lot too. Thank you for what you do, and please keep doing it! You are literally saving lives.
We all say my narc, which is a wrong statement. He was never yours, they dont even belong to themselves.
This was a very affecting and thought-provoking interview. Stella is obviously a person with a great sense of humour and a resolute sense of self. I'm grateful to her for telling her story.
They do this, even when they have money, they just don’t want to spend it on anybody.
Thanks for sharing ....their modus operandi always SAME .....pick intelligent strong ladies !
Thanks for keeping her on track and moving it along
Yea you should hear my story. Truly unbelievable. It's definitely a book or movie. People don't believe it. If I didn't have so.eone else eye witness it no one would believe me that any one person could do such horrific things to another human.
I believe you, my father was a narcissistic lunatic and no ever believes the stories I tell either.
Same
I believe you.
I absolutely believe you.
No one believes mine either. Well, until I went homeless to get away. He of course told everyone that I was off doing drugs w the homeless. But God graced me! These guys don't even drink! They're all just broken people. (Yes I've met the ones who are homeless by choice) but the good guys I met believe me!
(Btw my narc stalked me until he stopped. Suspiciously a week or two before the cops came through kicking us out!)
Sometimes even I have trouble believing my story when I tell it. It's part of cognitive dissonance, I think. Also . As the years flew by and I'm still here (yes I get pissed. Like recently. Driving an Uber rental. Getting on my feet. Well, sleeping in the car working in the town my son lives in w his father) well as Uber rentals go .. after a month you have to sign another contract/ which means a whole nother deposit and whole nother first weeks rent!! They could have told me!! I'd have saved it instead of paying bills and spending money on Starbucks! (Which I tried for the first time because of doing so many deliveries from there) annnyway .. I suddenly owe hertz $714 which was taken out of my bank leaving it negative!! I got them to remove $400. I deposited 100 today so I'm negative $117.
Well two weeks ago having suddenly no car, no job, since I had to return the rental... And needing to go get my son for the summer! (He first said he's going to stay at dads and start community college... But suddenly Dad wants to know when I'm going to get him!) So I was complaining... And a man offered me $1500 to do porn! I became so sullen for a day. REALLY!!!? PORN or THE NARC!!???
AAAAAAAAA!!!!!
(I needed the narc cuz he'll loan me his car to go get my son. He contributes cash and food -which we are too wary of so I have to hide ours/ one of us is always in the room so narc can't tamper)
Well, I decided narc cuz the other is a definite NO. My age and my spiritual path kept me from even considering it.
Since I have 2 rooms of tousled belongings at narcs I figured I'd stay here w soon to be 18yr old son... Speaking of... I need to do more escavation in the second room. Cuz the minute I take my son home... I'll be dropping narcs car off and going homeless again.
At LEAST I got my brain back.... Mostly.. I was depressed, mental fatigue from constant emotional abuse and actual poison for awhile there.
For anyone who has stuff to say please bite your tongue because there is so much you don't know and I'm not going to explain every tiny thing. If I do anything out of "stupidity" it's cuz I have zero support system and no solid employment and no savings. I'm lucky it's summer but I'm prepared for winter. I got military grade coveralls that kept me warm last winter as I (pissed the narc off) supplying hot water bottles, layers of clothes and hot meals to my buddies who didn't even have a predator to fall back on. (last part is a joke. ... Kinda)
Thank you so much, Richard and Stella! It's one thing to intuitively feel like picking the right strategy, it's a lot better and very helpful to hear a story with a similar set of circumstances (living in a different country, feeling isolated, alone, being confused) and know that NOT wasting time and energy on arguing and fighting IS the best strategy.
Richard, I carefully listened to your other video in which you've ranted extensively about the inability to say "no". That was really helpful! It's very empowering to know I'm not delusional in my line of thinking and am working in the right direction.
I'm glad to see you doing interviews, Richard. It is SO helpful to hear others stories for many reasons. We see similarities which are validating with our own stories, which is healing~ we see we aren't alone in what we have been through, and we learn many things we need to know regarding abuse and narcissism.
Beautiful set up in the studio and fantastic interview!! ❤
Thank u for sharing.What most amazes me about listening to experiences with Narcissists, is that even we live different lives in different countries, different backgrounds.. etc, they (Narcissists) behave EXACTLY the same way, and use the EXACTLY same weird behaviours..
The narc ex is an alcoholic fireman. He used his public image and lured me into a vicious cycle of emotional abuse. I reported him to his Fire department. According to the national standards for firefighters’ code of conduct, he abused his power and violated the code.
He saw a vulnerable lady new to a country with little self-esteem and selfworth otherwise she would never had believed his bullsh.t story, easily manipulated. But her self-respect kicked in luckily and she trusted her feelings and saved herself.
Her self respect kicked in and in other words she never got trauma bonded lol
she's adorable and Richard I love you and respect you so much. Your work has helped me so much.
I've had a couple relationships with Narcissists, first my parents and then my ex husband. Narcissists give you the illusion you can change them to keep you in the relationship. Sometimes they'll be really nice and "thoughtful" but it is just a strategy. Their passive aggression is aimed to make you feel small so you'll fawn for their attention. They'll do all these nice things you didn't ask for and then in their mind you "owe" them so they'll become incredibly resentful, the abuse is "payback." They make sure you're isolated so you think you "need" them. Heh, my ex also forced me to marry him for the green card using emotional blackmail. My ex also "overdrugged," mainly weed and cocaine, played video games constantly. Also scammed me and robbed me of 30k. They act like children.
I followed precisely this advice. However, it was after a decade of being with him. I secretly saved as much of my money I could, then when I had the financial security to survive alone I left. I stayed far too long but it delivered a lot of lessons I needed to learn. I’m now repelled by narcissists. That’s where you want to get to.
When she says “stop fighting,” what she’s saying is - accept them for who they are. Once you do that, accept exactly who this person is, standing in front of you, all of your energy will and must go towards escaping them.
What a lovely lady. I’m so glad she made the decision to leave and stuck with it.
Wow, that moment when you have to snap out of it bc you drift off thinking your the one telling your story, but then realize it’s a whole different person and their story… very relatable
That's exactly why I don't want to accept help from a stranger because you just don't know if they're going to use it to hold against you or what because yes it is weird for a man to help a woman without much stuff without knowing her. This is why you don't jump into a relationship with somebody just cuz they're nice to you because you don't know them yet it takes a while to know somebody see how they treat their exes their family their friends etc
So true
Would definitely like to see more cases 🙏. Wishing this lovely lady as quick as a recovery as possible
He doesn't sound too much narc, just depressed
Today all bad exes are narcs 😅
She's narc.. cover narc. Pay attention how long she's speaking about herself. He needs to interrupt her to ask her abour the ex. She also lost herself in unimportant deteils , I heard every month of the year... it's ridiculous..she have not much to say. Not an interview worthy.
Oh god beware of losers bearing gifts.
Girlfriend should do stand up. She rocks.
I just would like to say that I've had the same experience with my ex , about his videogame addiction and other elements . I'm very impressed
disappointing man waste time choosing gaming drugs and living with beautiful lady ignoring her.
Brave girl and well done for getting out so early on. X
So sad.....So similar...God Almighty help you dear...Love from Sydney
I'm Australian/Croatian with brothers who subjected me to Narcissistic abuse for over 30 years and now in the UK event hough I was born in Sydney and staying away from my birthplace. It is challenging because I'm not speaking with them but dealing daily with the internal conflict, being brainwashed for years. It's easier here since my father died and both of my parents are not around to protect me.
Wow I can’t believe how similar our story is. The difference is she had a sister she could talk to, I was isolated from everyone. I’m glad she got out, I ended up in a marriage for 15 years and two kids who are suffering now. Please, please take heed of these stories and be safe. You have no idea the pain and trauma that a life with these people cause and for Gods sake don’t have children with them.
Thank you for sharing this it is so helpful 🎀❤️🎀
Thank you for sharing your story...
hope this story inspires you good luck
I had the worst 4 years of my life I’d love to share my story too one day he was Arabic 😢 I lived an illusion
❤ 🇦🇺
Sorry you went through this 😢
Sometimes narcissists atracts another narcissists. I'm thinking here is a case like this.
What are some signs you see here on her end
So Brave ❤they will always find the opportunity to Get you involved into the Narcissistic world, Cruel and Mentally challenging ❤ Well Done 😊
Thank you for being so courageous to tell your story
Hope she is doing better!
Very relatable :) both of you are so strong and beautiful
Richard as someone whos in her early 20s your videos have helped me alot in indeitfying red flags trying to date
Stella is such a shining person. Perfect name she has 😄
She’s such a brave and strong women. Love her already! ❤
Thank you for sharing, it’s so hard to talk about with people. They don’t understand. I ended up having to document and keep track of things, thanks to the gaslighting, manipulating and lying. To this day, I still don’t quite trust myself and many of my choices. But if I was to give one tip to anybody who thinks they may be in an abusive relationship, it would be to secretly and carefully document everything, even if it seems like the most silly little thing.
My mother also has NPD…1 year no contact!! I am about five years single. I still can’t trust anybody.
And he was married on top of it?!! Good God.
Interesting story. All the best to Stella!
Yes that is correct. He told me that one evening when we were already living together and when he was, of course, drugged as always.
If it wasn't for covid, if I hadn't naively allowed him to move into my apartment, I would have suffered a lot less.
But this was a life lesson and after it I listen to my gut feeling and intuition like never before.
Big wounds and big lessons from this experience.
Thank you for your support.🙏💪
@@stelagrljusic2850 Wow. God bless you.
@@stelagrljusic2850 Stella, I don't understand how was he drugged, when drugs are super forbidden here in Dubai..!? Maybe I'm naive..
Pretty common.
Very good idea this format. I believe it would help having a serie with different persons who had narcissistic relations and their experiences. Think about this, Richard! I enjoyed the video, the lady has i believe strong boundaries that helped and also her therapist helped. I am from that part of the world (Romania) and I know how the women are treated and how a lot of men think about women here...we have a load of narcissists around us. It s a good thing she got out ... Rather quick for a relation with a narcissist I might say. I would be interested to hear more specific examples of the abuse, i believe that this would help people who are in narcissistic relations or were in them. I experienced that and a shared experience of others helped a lot to understand I am not alone and I am not crazy
Well, who makes them a narcissist!? Their own mothers sadly enough..
8:57 “I thought I was dreaming about this” ….😳 she thought she was FUCKING DREAMING about her OWN REALITY!! 😳😳😳😳😳🫳🎤😳
THAT IS THE REALITY OF WHAT A NARCISSIST WILL DO TO YOUR BRAIN AND LIFE 😳
💡🤯Thank you Stella. 💋❤️🖖👏👏👏👏👏🤯👏👏👏👏🤯
Richard,
You are simply great❤
great idea🙂 experience of others build our awareness....so many people in fantasy state
I love Stellas personality, glad she is fine now after all this.
Puno pozdrava 💜💜
I also met my narc during covid, the love bombing and devaluation between lockdowns with multiple discard phases when things went back to "normal". Normal? Nothing was normal to me, nothing felt right, while i try to make sense of the gaslighting I faced a world completely broken with other people not making sense of their reality in some level which made it hard to notice anyone else's situation. The smear campaign + the war i was not aware of were enough to make me experiment the feeling of dying. I now believe that horrible feeling I was feeling, that feeling of death, emptiness, helpless, it was his projection that took over my existence while my real self was underneath that false self. That is the key for healing. That allow me to see us two as separated individuals and I started to work on giving me more attention. I also started to developed empathy for myself and a different level of empathy for that creature. The shock that i was sleeping beside such a vile, empty, nasty creature. The healing journey must be focused in the separating between you and the narcissist. I wont lie, it hurts. It really does hurts like if you were abandoning your own child. I felt empty, i felt like i was the narcissist. But that feeling, that lost sense of myself, that lack of identity is not me, I never felt that and I wont carry this corpse with me anymore. Thank you Richard for opening my eyes and let me escape this! 🙏
This is so heartbreaking 😢
I really like your stuff Richard. I've learned quite a bit from you, or have re-learned a lot in a different way I should say. I've noticed something and I wanted to ask you about it. Many people who make these helpful vids are themselves narcissistic. Are you also in this category?
U r strong beautiful and a brave woman. U gave me a lot of hope and for that thank you so much for sharing your story. Peace love and blessings ❤❤❤
Stella the Croatian diamond. 💪 Pozz iz Zagreba.
I'd definitely love to talk with Grandon when I get out of the brain fog. I have a long story but i don't know if it would be so interesting to others as much as it is to me.
Hearing this nice lady story gives me chills. It almost makes me want to cry to know that somebody else went through what I went through. Still to this day my narcissist will call on all different types of numbers, so I’ll answer just to remind me that nobody likes me I’m a complete lowlife and she was so nice to even talk to me and she’s even being nice talking to me now as she put me down it’s the craziest weirdest thing ever I feel so sorry for anyone that has to go through this.
His is so atypical, they identify a need and enter as a hero then once you are hooked they exploit it forever more x
Great interview, thank you Richard. Your sound was way too low for me though.
My narc would do the same thing with the “help”. She would come over and cook and clean, then throw it in my face that my place was dirty or that I didn’t have the right food etc. I NEVER asked her for the help.. The narcs insert themselves offering to help but they’re using it as a form of control and to extend abuse.
They love to target vulnerable people