My moms fear of abandonment led to her significantly handicapping my siblings and I socially. We now struggle for identity and independence and for some of us all hope is lost.
My mom has straight up told me she has a fear of abandonment because of her parents divorcing. They divorced welllll into her being an adult though and she only saw them once a year at most. She told me because of this, HER THERAPIST said “your daughter will have to respond to your texts or calls urgently to make you feel okay” basically saying I have to be at her beckoning call 24-7 and I’m like what? A therapist would never say that?! It’s a HER problem, and she’s turning it into a ME problem. I’m so sorry you have dealt with a mom who has a fear of abandonment because I would never wish it on anyone, I’m 27 years old and she has caused majority of my stress and depression.
@@VanCityLuverthe problem is a lot of therapists are there only for the money and they are advocating for the person that pays them. My partners mom threatens suicide because she is left alone by him and his brother and she is traumatised from her childhood. I live with a fear she might do that. But I don’t want to be a slave for the emotional blackmailer. Neither should you
For couple of years I thought my mother is narcissist but I noticed she has awareness and she is also at times caring, but she lacks consistency and she is really unable to give emotional support, she makes me feel guilty when I do not give her money. I started looking into quiet bpd cause I do have traits and I now know they come from my mom. God bless her but I am setting boundaries for myself
I relate so much to both of your comments. Literally seems like she’s the child, and I’m the mom in the relationship. I can’t believe I finally found people who can relate.
Don’t give up guys. My partners mom is like that and because he left her I took the burden of speaking to her everyday because I don’t have boundaries but im working on it. People with this disorder would keep you hostage if they could. So toxic
This is EXACTLY why I have had a hard time through out my life cutting off the relationship with my mother. It is because I pity my borderline mother. I am and have always been the holding place for bad feelings! You said it perfectly! Ty❤️
You used the word pity and that is the exact word I use to describe my feelings towards mine. I don’t have a strong attachment her, because she is so clingy, but I do pity her. However, I refuse to let my mom drown me for her survival.
I recently figured out that my grandma is petulant borderline (undiagnosed), which is why I've been educating myself on it. I just realized that my mom has these features too. - For example, if I pointed out the family dysfunction or just wanted to express negative emotions, she'd often reply with something like "It's not too late to find a new family", "I know you'll never [insert something guilt-tripping here]", or "Sure, make it all my fault now". - I also had to rotate around my mom's feelings (just like she had to do with her mom) and I felt bad for her. I felt like she wanted to be more like a friend to us. Or that I was her parent. - My independence wasn't supported: I wasn't allowed to have friends, was guilted for wanting to start dating, my desire to move out was totally ignored... - My mom trauma-dumped on me. This of course would always leave me feeling confused, sad for her and (I suspect) also in a dissociative state. - I've always felt like there was something wrong with me. And I'm good at fawning and reflecting back what I think the other person would prefer from me. - That last part... My family definitely didn't support individuality or independence (forbidden to dress a certain way, guilted for wanting to be treated like a grown-up and for wanting to date, etc).
Hi all! Hope this validates you if you were raised by a parent who struggled with untreated/undiagnosed BPD....so many patterns and beliefs can linger in our lives.
Wow!! “If you feel like your parent is your responsibility…” that cuts right through all the shit! I’m ready to let go of the weight of her. Thank you Dr Sage (and Coco!!)
Your videos are helping me understand my step son. He’s a teen and recently came into his dads care. His mom has BPD and is very toxic and had a number of unstable relationships his whole life. Thanks for your content on what the child of a BPD mom might be thinking or feeling. It’s really helping me understand his anger and immaturity
@@DrKimSage And even though he’s out of his moms house, she keeps doing things to make him stressed, like calling the cops or turning his best friend against him..
The best book I read on this subject is Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship by CHRISTINE ANN LAWSON. I read it 15 years ago, absolutely changed my life. Another book is Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Rot.
My mom is a single 58 year old woman. She has always called e her best friend and hs recently tried to put the responsibilities of her life on my shoulders. Job, finances, where she lives, ect. She acts like she cant do anything for herself. I don't know how to place boundaries without feeling guilty and just doing everything for her.
I am in the same position. She wants me to figure out her life and depend on me. When I say no, she screams that no one loves her and wants her. I am sure she feels that way. But I suspect she has always felt that way. She is a bottomless pit. No matter how much you give it doesn’t make her happy. Her rage and neediness are the primary reasons why no one wants her.
My mother neglected me from the age of six until I ran away from home at 17, but now as an adult she seems to have this need to control me. If I move she moves to within 5 minutes of where I am living. She often says she needs to see me every day to know I’m okay. Now I find myself out of necessity due to circumstances beyond my control living in the same house with her and she is becoming controlling to the point that I can’t even have a phone call without her demanding to know who I’m talking too. When I was growing up and during my early adult life she chose to leave me in situations that were dangerous and I was abused sexually and physically throughout my childhood and teen years. Now she seems to want to smother me with attention and insists on trying to do everything for me. I am 48 and have been alone (I feel) from a very young age up until now. Thus I am incredibly independent and If I say to her that we need to have a different relationship now as I’m a grown woman with my own adult children, she starts to cry or changes the subject. It very obviously manipulation in order to avoid uncomfortable feelings of guilt etc. from conversations about childhood and her behaviour now. Is she BPD?
Today I am finally realizing my mother has BPD and everything you are sharing makes so much sense. Thank you so much for making this video. Much love to you and your kitten! THANK YOU!
Thank you Kim, really needed this today. Your videos are so comforting and educational. It's been just over a year since I stopped contact with my mother, it was such a toxic and manipulative environment and at times, quite frightening. Both my dad and I had to leave to escape the environment and live our own lives free of this fear of her. Understanding more about BPD I do believe my mum needs help, or to at least accept some help for this.
I am so sorry you had to endure such a difficult environment and childhood. I hope she can get help, as I truly believe so many people suffer and don't know why, and we didn't talk about it enough...we all deserve to be well and emotionally safe.
Glad to see that you've found a way to accomplish your goals by posting videos three days a week while also caring for self. That's a good compromise. And I'm grateful for the time and knowledge that you share. Thank you.
I had a moment a while ago when I wanted to stay with my boyfriend for a whole week (I'm still living at home atm). My mother had a full on emotional outburst with crying and raging... that I didn't see coming at all. I guess that it really triggered a fear of abandonment in her. It was so extreme that it really scared me.
I will say I Stan ur channel. It's honestly helped me so much. Esp since I've went no contact w my mother who is untreated BPD while I'm her son getting treated for BPD. I mentioned ur channel twice to my therapist and she looked you up (got major respect for her because she keeps it real w me vs let's me bulldoze her) and she's like "that's some good stuff" and got me to watch ur video of the 10 questions and make me answer them w her since I been dodging them alot (2 sessions in amd we still ain't got through all the answers explanations..). Question tho..where can I find ur books etc?
Thank you so much for this video. My mom is a now a widow and I’m trying to find healthy boundaries. I needed this so much! I’m also going to check out your workbook.
Thank you so much this explains some stuff Love my parents so much but both incredibly complex & changeable hard to understand what’s going on 💖💖💖💖🌸🌸🌸🌸
Awww ☺️👏💃 splendid explanation Dr Sage, you've done it again, given me one more piece of puzzle ,really had no idea that there was such a thing out there Lol It's all true, for sure. Am really benefiting from all your knowledge thanks once more Makes complete sense wish I knew many years ago !!! But alas better late than never 😫😁♥️ keep up the good work.
I'm a 24 year old male, and I suspect that I might have BPD. My number one symptom is probably the fear of rejection. I feel a lot of pressure to please others and worry all the time that they will explode at me and/or hate me if I screw up in the slightest. The fear of rejection is even worse with my friends and family, not only because of the stuff I already mentioned but also because I'm into some really weird stuff. I worry all the time that my friends and family will shun me if they ever find out, and live in constant paranoia about them finding out. The fear of rejection is 1,000X worse in the romantic and sexual contexts, and I worry every day that no woman will ever love me in those ways. I also feel like if I don't seize everything in front of me that even remotely looks like an opportunity, it will never happen. This fear has caused me to act in ways that I know have scared at least one woman away from me. On the occasions that a woman actually does say yes to going on a date with me, I experience a lot of anxiety over that too. I think it's because part of me is afraid of commitment and vulnerability, even though another part of me desperately wants to be able to commit myself to a woman, make myself totally vulnerable to her, and have her love and accept me despite my flaws, my mistakes, and my weirdness. It makes no sense, I know. I often just feel like I'm just too socially inept, ugly, and just plain weird to ever be loved. I also struggle with anger and jealousy quite a bit. Things that would be a minor annoyance to most people can upset me for hours, and I sometimes lose my temper with others. I can hold a grudge for years, and often have fantasies of doing horrific, violent things to those I hate, even though I have no intention of actually doing these things. I feel a lot of jealousy for others, especially other men who are in fulfilling romantic and sexual relationships. As easy as it is for me to get angry at others, I'm often even harsher to myself. I can beat myself up over the smallest mistakes and often feel stupid over minor mistakes that I make, and also frequently call myself ugly and socially inept like I did above. I tend to second guess a lot of the decisions I make, and often find myself saying that every decision I make is wrong. I'll never know how a given decision would have turned out had I made the other choice, but I always tell myself that the other choice could not possibly have turned out worse than the one I actually made. Going back to what I said about feeling like I have to seize every relationship opportunity in front of me, I tend to call myself a coward when I fail to act on a perceived opportunity. Alternatively, I may also call myself an idiot for failing to see an opportunity or tell myself that my standards are too damn high. I'm not sure if they are or not, but that is another topic for another post. Finally, I just feel like a bad person a lot of the time. I grew up in a religious household and still have lingering fears of going to hell. I cannot shake the feeling that I deserve to burn in hell for eternity. Does this sound like BPD?
Have you ever read the whole New Testament for yourself? Religion manipulate people. New Testament brings peace for people like you and me, but you need to read it for yourself to see that they brainwashed you by twisting what actually can be found in the New Testament. I only share this with you here because you mentioned religion and it was my experience too. Because of religion I was so scared to read NT myself. I'm glad I did read it. I feel peace now. No one can twist NT words to use against me or to control me anymore, because I know what it says. The peace is incredible. I hope this will help you, too.
Hello Kim! I have been finding so much value in this work you are doing. I have recently reached a nadir in my relationship, and I'm recognizing it has so much to do with my unprocessed CPTSD (particularly hypervigilance, believing I'm worthless, distrust in my partner, though he has never done anything to warrant that) from my BPD mother, as well as my seeming to be on a spectrum between anxious and disorganized attachment. I discovered your videos yesterday and I'm so glad I did. I'm wondering if you have done a video on what it's like to be in partnership with someone who has one of these issues?
My mum fits perfectly with Bpd description and the outcomes of having a parent with Bpd are all matching up for me however, she doesn't 'rage' it's all passive aggression and like a permanent disdain, put downs etc. It's all done indirectly. She avoids rage by using text messaging to bombard you with accusations and insults and gaslighting and manipulation.... So I don't understand what the rage part is all about it's highly confusing
Looks like narcissism. My mother has traits of both and it is impossible to be helped. She's extremely arrogant and no one can criticise her even if it's constructive. I went no contact years ago, but I still struggle with what she left in my mind. Ps. There are various types of narcissistic personalities. Please, look it up. My dad is seriously narcissistic but has an introverted nature, where my mum is extroverted. Both as damaging as can be.
I’ve had a couple of relationships where I’ve dated single women and know that I’ve seen your videos I can see what really happened because I didn’t know there where these types of people with mental issues.
How do you finally make a move or break the relationship without the intense guilt? Or the concern for their mental health? Im really struggling with this
I never get an answer to my questions watching your videos. The reasons behind BPD mothers, what to do when they become impulsive and how to get along with them. Are they responsible for their emotions/actions or it's just part of who they are? Please elaborate.
Ill be honest, my mother has bpd... She was very abusive. However, whilst her untreated bpd has definitely driven her to more toxic behaviors, there are lines you cross that make you a bad person. And I believe those could be spurred on by the bpd, but at the end of the day her severe abuse of me and those closest to her is independent of her disorder. I don't think people with bpd are evil, I don't demonize them, but I do steer clear because im not emotionally equipped for their personality.
And for that the churches impose on me guilt trip. I don need and I don’t want woman in my life. I’m gay I love mens body. My mother and the Christians everywhere I go force me to want children.
So I don’t know if you’ll read this but I’m BPD and a mom of an adult child. I’m angry about being BPD. I hate myself for it and just want to be normal. I truly do hate myself. I just want it to all stop! I didn’t choose to be this way.
When I was born to me bpd mom, who's own mom was very narcissistic. My mom said oh good its a girl, now I have someone to shop with me! My mom is a shopping addict. I hate shopping.
My moms fear of abandonment led to her significantly handicapping my siblings and I socially. We now struggle for identity and independence and for some of us all hope is lost.
My mom has straight up told me she has a fear of abandonment because of her parents divorcing. They divorced welllll into her being an adult though and she only saw them once a year at most. She told me because of this, HER THERAPIST said “your daughter will have to respond to your texts or calls urgently to make you feel okay” basically saying I have to be at her beckoning call 24-7 and I’m like what? A therapist would never say that?! It’s a HER problem, and she’s turning it into a ME problem. I’m so sorry you have dealt with a mom who has a fear of abandonment because I would never wish it on anyone, I’m 27 years old and she has caused majority of my stress and depression.
@@VanCityLuverthe problem is a lot of therapists are there only for the money and they are advocating for the person that pays them. My partners mom threatens suicide because she is left alone by him and his brother and she is traumatised from her childhood. I live with a fear she might do that. But I don’t want to be a slave for the emotional blackmailer. Neither should you
For couple of years I thought my mother is narcissist but I noticed she has awareness and she is also at times caring, but she lacks consistency and she is really unable to give emotional support, she makes me feel guilty when I do not give her money. I started looking into quiet bpd cause I do have traits and I now know they come from my mom. God bless her but I am setting boundaries for myself
I am 46 years old and I feel like my mother has taken my entire life from me. I feel like she has been strapped to my back my entire life.
Same. I felt like I always had to be the parent. She is acts like a grown helpless baby.
I relate so much to both of your comments. Literally seems like she’s the child, and I’m the mom in the relationship. I can’t believe I finally found people who can relate.
Same!! Everybody don’t give up!! We still got our lives to live! ❤❤❤❤
Don’t give up guys. My partners mom is like that and because he left her I took the burden of speaking to her everyday because I don’t have boundaries but im working on it. People with this disorder would keep you hostage if they could. So toxic
This is EXACTLY why I have had a hard time through out my life cutting off the relationship with my mother. It is because I pity my borderline mother. I am and have always been the holding place for bad feelings! You said it perfectly! Ty❤️
These really are such complicated relationships and it's so understandable.🙏💜
You used the word pity and that is the exact word I use to describe my feelings towards mine. I don’t have a strong attachment her, because she is so clingy, but I do pity her. However, I refuse to let my mom drown me for her survival.
I recently figured out that my grandma is petulant borderline (undiagnosed), which is why I've been educating myself on it. I just realized that my mom has these features too.
- For example, if I pointed out the family dysfunction or just wanted to express negative emotions, she'd often reply with something like "It's not too late to find a new family", "I know you'll never [insert something guilt-tripping here]", or "Sure, make it all my fault now".
- I also had to rotate around my mom's feelings (just like she had to do with her mom) and I felt bad for her. I felt like she wanted to be more like a friend to us. Or that I was her parent.
- My independence wasn't supported: I wasn't allowed to have friends, was guilted for wanting to start dating, my desire to move out was totally ignored...
- My mom trauma-dumped on me. This of course would always leave me feeling confused, sad for her and (I suspect) also in a dissociative state.
- I've always felt like there was something wrong with me. And I'm good at fawning and reflecting back what I think the other person would prefer from me.
- That last part... My family definitely didn't support individuality or independence (forbidden to dress a certain way, guilted for wanting to be treated like a grown-up and for wanting to date, etc).
Hi all! Hope this validates you if you were raised by a parent who struggled with untreated/undiagnosed BPD....so many patterns and beliefs can linger in our lives.
Wow!! “If you feel like your parent is your responsibility…” that cuts right through all the shit! I’m ready to let go of the weight of her. Thank you Dr Sage (and Coco!!)
Your videos are helping me understand my step son. He’s a teen and recently came into his dads care. His mom has BPD and is very toxic and had a number of unstable relationships his whole life. Thanks for your content on what the child of a BPD mom might be thinking or feeling. It’s really helping me understand his anger and immaturity
You are welcome and I am so sorry he's struggling. 🙏
@@DrKimSage And even though he’s out of his moms house, she keeps doing things to make him stressed, like calling the cops or turning his best friend against him..
The best book I read on this subject is Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship by CHRISTINE ANN LAWSON. I read it 15 years ago, absolutely changed my life. Another book is Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Rot.
OhhhhhhhI can really identify with shape shifting to survive a BPD/NPD
Birth mother. You're insights are priceless Dr Kim.🌹
Thank you so much for sharing and being here. Yes, we can become quite skilled at shape shifting! 💜
My mom is a single 58 year old woman. She has always called e her best friend and hs recently tried to put the responsibilities of her life on my shoulders. Job, finances, where she lives, ect. She acts like she cant do anything for herself. I don't know how to place boundaries without feeling guilty and just doing everything for her.
I am in the same position. She wants me to figure out her life and depend on me. When I say no, she screams that no one loves her and wants her. I am sure she feels that way. But I suspect she has always felt that way. She is a bottomless pit. No matter how much you give it doesn’t make her happy. Her rage and neediness are the primary reasons why no one wants her.
@@cherylduisberg1444I know a person like that, it’s terrible and they constantly shift blame on others
My mother neglected me from the age of six until I ran away from home at 17, but now as an adult she seems to have this need to control me. If I move she moves to within 5 minutes of where I am living. She often says she needs to see me every day to know I’m okay. Now I find myself out of necessity due to circumstances beyond my control living in the same house with her and she is becoming controlling to the point that I can’t even have a phone call without her demanding to know who I’m talking too. When I was growing up and during my early adult life she chose to leave me in situations that were dangerous and I was abused sexually and physically throughout my childhood and teen years. Now she seems to want to smother me with attention and insists on trying to do everything for me. I am 48 and have been alone (I feel) from a very young age up until now. Thus I am incredibly independent and If I say to her that we need to have a different relationship now as I’m a grown woman with my own adult children, she starts to cry or changes the subject. It very obviously manipulation in order to avoid uncomfortable feelings of guilt etc. from conversations about childhood and her behaviour now. Is she BPD?
Today I am finally realizing my mother has BPD and everything you are sharing makes so much sense. Thank you so much for making this video. Much love to you and your kitten! THANK YOU!
Thank you Kim, really needed this today. Your videos are so comforting and educational.
It's been just over a year since I stopped contact with my mother, it was such a toxic and manipulative environment and at times, quite frightening. Both my dad and I had to leave to escape the environment and live our own lives free of this fear of her.
Understanding more about BPD I do believe my mum needs help, or to at least accept some help for this.
I am so sorry you had to endure such a difficult environment and childhood. I hope she can get help, as I truly believe so many people suffer and don't know why, and we didn't talk about it enough...we all deserve to be well and emotionally safe.
Oh my goodness. This is incredibly validating. Thank you.
This was so validating! It has been very difficult to explain the experience to others (and myself), you have given me words and clarity. Thank you ✨
Glad to see that you've found a way to accomplish your goals by posting videos three days a week while also caring for self. That's a good compromise. And I'm grateful for the time and knowledge that you share. Thank you.
Thank you! So kind of you to share and notice. I am trying!!🙏🥰🥰
I had a moment a while ago when I wanted to stay with my boyfriend for a whole week (I'm still living at home atm). My mother had a full on emotional outburst with crying and raging... that I didn't see coming at all. I guess that it really triggered a fear of abandonment in her. It was so extreme that it really scared me.
I will say I Stan ur channel. It's honestly helped me so much. Esp since I've went no contact w my mother who is untreated BPD while I'm her son getting treated for BPD. I mentioned ur channel twice to my therapist and she looked you up (got major respect for her because she keeps it real w me vs let's me bulldoze her) and she's like "that's some good stuff" and got me to watch ur video of the 10 questions and make me answer them w her since I been dodging them alot (2 sessions in amd we still ain't got through all the answers explanations..).
Question tho..where can I find ur books etc?
Thank you so much for this video. My mom is a now a widow and I’m trying to find healthy boundaries. I needed this so much! I’m also going to check out your workbook.
Thank you. I wish I could understand where my extreme worthlessness comes from.
Thank you so much this explains some stuff Love my parents so much but both incredibly complex & changeable hard to understand what’s going on 💖💖💖💖🌸🌸🌸🌸
I was always blamed for everything I did these types of relationships made me fear any other single moms with kids and this type of mental disorder
Awww ☺️👏💃 splendid explanation Dr Sage, you've done it again, given me one more piece of puzzle ,really had no idea that there was such a thing out there Lol
It's all true, for sure. Am really benefiting from all your knowledge thanks once more
Makes complete sense wish I knew many years ago !!! But alas better late than never 😫😁♥️ keep up the good work.
Same
I'm a 24 year old male, and I suspect that I might have BPD.
My number one symptom is probably the fear of rejection. I feel a lot of pressure to please others and worry all the time that they will explode at me and/or hate me if I screw up in the slightest. The fear of rejection is even worse with my friends and family, not only because of the stuff I already mentioned but also because I'm into some really weird stuff. I worry all the time that my friends and family will shun me if they ever find out, and live in constant paranoia about them finding out. The fear of rejection is 1,000X worse in the romantic and sexual contexts, and I worry every day that no woman will ever love me in those ways. I also feel like if I don't seize everything in front of me that even remotely looks like an opportunity, it will never happen. This fear has caused me to act in ways that I know have scared at least one woman away from me. On the occasions that a woman actually does say yes to going on a date with me, I experience a lot of anxiety over that too. I think it's because part of me is afraid of commitment and vulnerability, even though another part of me desperately wants to be able to commit myself to a woman, make myself totally vulnerable to her, and have her love and accept me despite my flaws, my mistakes, and my weirdness. It makes no sense, I know. I often just feel like I'm just too socially inept, ugly, and just plain weird to ever be loved.
I also struggle with anger and jealousy quite a bit. Things that would be a minor annoyance to most people can upset me for hours, and I sometimes lose my temper with others. I can hold a grudge for years, and often have fantasies of doing horrific, violent things to those I hate, even though I have no intention of actually doing these things. I feel a lot of jealousy for others, especially other men who are in fulfilling romantic and sexual relationships.
As easy as it is for me to get angry at others, I'm often even harsher to myself. I can beat myself up over the smallest mistakes and often feel stupid over minor mistakes that I make, and also frequently call myself ugly and socially inept like I did above. I tend to second guess a lot of the decisions I make, and often find myself saying that every decision I make is wrong. I'll never know how a given decision would have turned out had I made the other choice, but I always tell myself that the other choice could not possibly have turned out worse than the one I actually made.
Going back to what I said about feeling like I have to seize every relationship opportunity in front of me, I tend to call myself a coward when I fail to act on a perceived opportunity. Alternatively, I may also call myself an idiot for failing to see an opportunity or tell myself that my standards are too damn high. I'm not sure if they are or not, but that is another topic for another post. Finally, I just feel like a bad person a lot of the time. I grew up in a religious household and still have lingering fears of going to hell. I cannot shake the feeling that I deserve to burn in hell for eternity.
Does this sound like BPD?
Have you ever read the whole New Testament for yourself? Religion manipulate people. New Testament brings peace for people like you and me, but you need to read it for yourself to see that they brainwashed you by twisting what actually can be found in the New Testament.
I only share this with you here because you mentioned religion and it was my experience too. Because of religion I was so scared to read NT myself. I'm glad I did read it. I feel peace now. No one can twist NT words to use against me or to control me anymore, because I know what it says. The peace is incredible. I hope this will help you, too.
Hello Kim! I have been finding so much value in this work you are doing. I have recently reached a nadir in my relationship, and I'm recognizing it has so much to do with my unprocessed CPTSD (particularly hypervigilance, believing I'm worthless, distrust in my partner, though he has never done anything to warrant that) from my BPD mother, as well as my seeming to be on a spectrum between anxious and disorganized attachment. I discovered your videos yesterday and I'm so glad I did. I'm wondering if you have done a video on what it's like to be in partnership with someone who has one of these issues?
My mum fits perfectly with Bpd description and the outcomes of having a parent with Bpd are all matching up for me however, she doesn't 'rage' it's all passive aggression and like a permanent disdain, put downs etc. It's all done indirectly. She avoids rage by using text messaging to bombard you with accusations and insults and gaslighting and manipulation.... So I don't understand what the rage part is all about it's highly confusing
Looks like narcissism. My mother has traits of both and it is impossible to be helped. She's extremely arrogant and no one can criticise her even if it's constructive. I went no contact years ago, but I still struggle with what she left in my mind.
Ps. There are various types of narcissistic personalities. Please, look it up. My dad is seriously narcissistic but has an introverted nature, where my mum is extroverted. Both as damaging as can be.
I’ve had a couple of relationships where I’ve dated single women and know that I’ve seen your videos I can see what really happened because I didn’t know there where these types of people with mental issues.
Your videos and contents resonate with me.Much appreciated 🙏🏼💗
Those few women traumatized me and I’m not dating anyone no more. Do to those type single mom’s with kids.
Hi 👋🏻 from ENGLAND in the United Kingdom 🙏
Hi back! Welcome!!:)
The energy! There’s the hook! In the energy !
How do you finally make a move or break the relationship without the intense guilt? Or the concern for their mental health? Im really struggling with this
It seems that you will either be a slave to them or you will live your life and come with the terms whatever happens to them.
I never get an answer to my questions watching your videos. The reasons behind BPD mothers, what to do when they become impulsive and how to get along with them. Are they responsible for their emotions/actions or it's just part of who they are? Please elaborate.
😮 thank you 🙏🏽
Most of those single mothers had children from different dads.
Any recommendations doctor
Ill be honest, my mother has bpd... She was very abusive. However, whilst her untreated bpd has definitely driven her to more toxic behaviors, there are lines you cross that make you a bad person. And I believe those could be spurred on by the bpd, but at the end of the day her severe abuse of me and those closest to her is independent of her disorder. I don't think people with bpd are evil, I don't demonize them, but I do steer clear because im not emotionally equipped for their personality.
And for that the churches impose on me guilt trip. I don need and I don’t want woman in my life. I’m gay I love mens body. My mother and the Christians everywhere I go force me to want children.
Sorry doc but I got triggered and I appreciate the sage information. But, I must affirm what I have been stating and nobody listens.
I am a pro shape shifter.
"you are the repository" -- the dumpster for their self hatred. Yup.
So I don’t know if you’ll read this but I’m BPD and a mom of an adult child. I’m angry about being BPD. I hate myself for it and just want to be normal. I truly do hate myself. I just want it to all stop! I didn’t choose to be this way.
If you hate yourself…you will pass that on to your children like it or not. Regardless if you chose this, your children didn’t choose it either.
When I was born to me bpd mom, who's own mom was very narcissistic. My mom said oh good its a girl, now I have someone to shop with me! My mom is a shopping addict. I hate shopping.
With mental issues