Dissecting a Divisive Character on Gilmore Girls
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- Опубликовано: 7 июл 2024
- This is a video about Lindsay Forrester on Gilmore Girls. I've found that there are a lot of different opinions on this character. I wanted to throw my opinion into the mix. Most people agree on the fact that Dean's cheating was wrong. I don't discuss Rory's involvement in this video but I can certainly do so in the future.
Timestamps
00:00 Background
1:35 Season 3
4:01 Season 4
7:59 Season 5
10:07 Theory on this character 
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I actually felt bad for Lindsay. She tried so hard to make Dean happy, when in reality, he was the problem.
ya she was his rebound and they were too young, they had no business getting married, they needed to be around a bit more. i felt bad for her too, she was trying but in the end they didn't know what they wanted out of a partner, just in life in general but they were both too hurried to get married. He was a "nice guy" but totally not over Rory and Dean just wanted to kind of rub it in that he moved on but he really hadn't .
Wasn't he the one who wanted a Donna Reed wife? But then he ends up complaining that he has one
He was.
But also....they should not have gotten married. Way to young. Way to immature. Jumping from high school straight to married life.
@LennyLeonard777 that's what kills me. According to everyone, including Rory before the affair, Lindsay was a very nice person. And Dean said he liked the idea of a stay-at-home wife. Then he's mad that Lindsay expects him to be the breadwinner, when that's what he clearly agreed to?
This is why teenagers should never get married
i feel so bad for lindsay, imagine everyone in the town you live in absolutley WORSHIPPING this random girl u once went to school with who very publicly caused your marriage to break down.
It would be interesting to see the.story told from Lindsays side especially since Rory is like a local celebrity for some reason
doesitmatterwhoiam8838 I think it has to do with Lorelei being a young single mom who is so naturally sweet and supportive to everyone. The town people love her and want to help her out with the kid. Not to mention, Rory was the cutest child. I mean she looked like an actual cherub In the first season.
@@clorozweepvmundosalazar5153 that's true. Plus for the most part it's only the people at the diner that treat her like that. One those people happen be Taylor who's the mayor and always making her things like the ice cream queen lol. I guess I can see how she'd be a big fish in a pond like Stars hollow. I also could see how bad all that would suck for Lindsey
It's more that it's a small town where everyone knows each other and is too involved in everyone's business.
imo rory has the halo effect
Lindsey was never the villain. Rory was. It boggles my mind that we pick the mistress' side after everything she did to destroy their marriage. Dean is the worst husband and Lindsey deserved better.
Nah a lot of the Gilmore girls’ fans turned on Rory after what she did and tbh just struggled on watching because of commitment and a silver of hope that she may somehow redeem herself and go back to the baby Rory everyone fell in love with., sadly it doesn’t happen and she continues to spiral and just ends up a dud
we are forced to have her as the main character, might as well try to find excuses to tolerate her for another few seasons.
Lindsay and Dean were young and dumb; Dean was abusive and was a cheater; Rory was stupid and conceited, but ALSO young and dumb. I think that the real VILLIAN was Dean, being the person who lied to get Rory to cheat with him, and Rory was the antagonist, the person who hurt Lindsay but wasn't an outright villain.
@@Eloquent_Top_Hats Nah, Rory was the villain too, not the antagonist but a straight up villain. It doesn't matter how young she was. Actually, never mind it does. I think at age 19 you know better. You can make mistakes, but she was in college not an infant. She knew what she was doing and doubled down on it. She had every chance to apologize, but didn't even do so in the letter. She said and I quote, "I'm not sorry".
Sorry, if my tone seems a little harsh. My anger isn't directed at you. I was just really pissed during that scene when the letter was read. I think when Rory cheated, her crying and running out of the house was her knowing deep inside that what she did was wrong. But what makes her situation worse is that she doesn't own up to it, and continues to do so for the rest of her life (A Year in the Life with Rory cheating on her bf Paul with Logan, while Logan has a financée). Rory never learns from her mistakes.
@Eloquent_Top_Hats you're honestly arguing that Rory wasn't a villain in this scenario? 😳 She was with Dean. But had to be with Jess. Then when she found herself single and lonely, decided she had a right to Dean again, despite him being someone's husband. Even after Lorelai plainly and succinctly called her out on her terrible choice, she continued.
Rory was as much a villain as Dean. It's okay to acknowledge it.
Also, the way that she apologizes to Dean for answering his phone is so heartbreaking. It lowkey reminds me of how someone might attempt to placate an emotionally or physically abusive partner to avoid a blow up
That scene overall is just heartbreaking. I feel for Lindsay in that scene.
Dean was emotional manipulative towards rory when they were together and would fly off the handle when she didn't respond the way he wanted her to. So it would make sense that he would be that way with Lindsey too.
@shaylabobsherman228 Dean was borderline emotionally abusive with Rory, starting with how he treated her not saying I love you, and continuing with choices in season 2, especially the final Tristan episode he was someone Rory was afraid to confide in about a kiss that had happened when they were broken up. And he didn't trust Rory around a guy that was into her. He was angry and possessive. Rory continued to feel afraid of his jealousy with Jess which in this case turned out to be justified jealousy but... at the same time it all started where Rory was innocent and didn't deserve what Dean was doing. He freaked out at the Bid a Basket event about Jess bidding on her basket in a way that didn't just make her feel loved and cherished. It was the one of the key beginning of the end episodes and one could argue it was Dean's anger and possessiveness and lack of trust in her that led to Rory actively becoming less interested in her own boyfriend.
and especially because we saw with dean and rory how violent he can get when hes mad (to the point that paris, who had barely met him before, sensed rory was in danger and lied to him to get her out of it) and i dont doubt that he would continue to take that out on a girl that he cared for even less
A bad wife not even close. Dean was the bad husband.
I think she was naive due to being young. Since they were married young, the house makes sense.
The 50s housewife comment from Dean in the earlier seasons holds truth here. Lindsey becomes just that when she married Dean. She stays home and cooks for a man that expects that instead of appreciates it. I am fine with her being a stay at home wife. What I am not fine with is that she has to walk around eggshells with Dean and gets yelled at when she asks valid questions.
He just yells at her a lot and I hated his treatment of her. She did nothing wrong.
I think you are absolutely right and Dean showed this yelling also to Rory. I really do not understand, why so many people are Dean Fans. I think he is not really good for his girlfriends or himself.
I can agree with both of these, but I don't at all understand a stay at home wife when there are no kids around? The point of a stay at home wife is still to support the husband, and when there aren't any kids and the husband is not earning it up, any stay at home housewife from the 50's would have started doing SOMETHING to support their husband.
@@corneliahanimann2173That still doesn't excuse Dean's actions though. There was plenty of other options for him to handle his marriage with Lindsey besides cheating.
@@Ashbrash1998 Yes, I think this entire comment section with me included can 100% agree that Dean sucked at this one. there's no excuses, there's a metaphorical ranch for guys like this...I was hopeful I could make my comment and be critical of Lindsay without having to clarify that Dean messed up. But I agree, no there is no excuse for this guy
@@corneliahanimann2173 stay at home wife meaning she is married and stays at home.
She is not a stay at home mom because there are no kids around.
That is how I would explain it.
It’s interesting hearing the point that Lindsay’s mom is way too involved in her daughter’s life when Lorelei is way too involved in Rory’s life. One mom pushed for her daughter to be a housewife and one pushed for her daughter to be an Ivy League student. And you see in that confrontation with the moms how the two of them just stand there silently upset.
True, but it's different for Lindsey. She needed to keep her mom out of her marriage. Nothing justified him cheating, but their marriage was crowded.
But Lorelai never told Rory how to act or what to do with her boyfrienda. Lindsey mom is kinda controlling and I think Lindsey has to hard time saying things to her mom. Her mom needed to stay out and leave them alone.
Great point...which sort of made me wonder why there's really no father character in Stars Hollow except Jackson but that happens later and he's a newb. I'm trying to think but I never really see a father /son moments, unles it's with rich folks who are not from the town. Am I wrong here?
it is something that drove me crazy too! How is this a close small town if Lorelai enevr knew Deans entire family nor Linsdays? Its such a bizarre thing..@@user-ze1ec2ub6z
@@user-ze1ec2ub6z, Luke is the father-figure. He acts as surrogate father to Rory basically her whole life and then in a more official capacity when he and Lorelai get together. But the issue is that there were no father figures that ever critiqued Rory or helped steer her. Rory was parentified by Lorelai and then was spoiled and entitled because her abuse (parentification is abuse) made her mature and responsible to the rest of the town.
No matter what we think of Lindsay,dean and rory betrayed her. Adultery isn' t right just because somebody doesn' t like Lindsay.
Her making roast beef for Dean, putting on that dress and setting the table nicely, right after being cheated on is heartbreaking.
Rory didn’t betray her because they didn’t like eachother in the first place
@@criminalcrystal doesn’t matter. Rory was still a bitch for that she knowing slept with another woman’s husband
@@criminalcrystal The other woman usually doesn't like the wife, doesn't mean it's not hurtful.
I think Dean betrayed Lindsey more then Rory did. Rory didn't make the commitment to honor the marriage Dean did that. Rory didn't marry Lindsey Dean did that. Dean is a coward for what he did.
in my opinion, you can see the change in Lindsays personality. when we first see her, shes clearly confident and secure with herself around her friends and at that time; Dean. her parents definetely must have been controlling but outside of the house she was a well conditioned person. I don't think she was forced into the marriage but rather saw it as a chance of independence while making her parents happy. but when she got married to dean, she realises its just another controlling environment she can never please, and she slowly loses that confidence she radiated before.
Maybe she thought marriage was what she was 'supposed' to do.
@@kellharris2491Yean I'm thinking the same thing the fact when her and mom came to Dean's job and her mom made an off comment about her not knowing how to be a house wife. This was role expected of her.
Omggg this is so true!! We did see her shrink, slowly but surely, in that marriage; I wish we got to know what happened to her.
I hate the “she does nothing” and “why doesn’t she get a job?” Part. They agreed to be a traditional couple. He goes to work. She handles the whole house. Being a stay at home mom is not nothing. It’s a lot of freaking work and raising humans is a lot of work. Then he decided he didn’t want that anymore so we’re supposed to think it’s ok that he cheated. It’s so dumb. Lindsey was highly misrepresented in this show in order to make Dean seem justified for cheating. She tried to make him happy. And he only used her as a rebound. Her reaction was fine considering she just got married and cheated on and is so embarrassed. I feel so bad for her. Dean is a jerk. There’s no other way to see it in my opinion.
You say stay at home moms do a ton of work, and I agree, but they didn’t have a kid, though.
@@yrlowendtheory i get that but they were definitely planning on kids and housework is still a job. That’s why maids get a salary. Laundry workers get a salary. Chefs get a salary. She’s doing all of this for him so that he can simply go to work and come home and not have to do nothing else. That’s part of the teamwork. Once she becomes a mother that work triples. Any man that truly wants a traditional relationship would be happy to have someone like Lindsay as a wife. It just sucks that society lost their appreciation for these women. My grandma was a house worker her entire life and my grandfather never cared that she didn’t have a job, he loved that all his clothes were always clean, folded, he and his children ate gourmet food every day of their lives, and he had a beautiful woman that loved him until he died. That doesn’t sound bad to me at all.
Did the show try to make him look good tho? I ask honestly, I seem to remember that the show was clear about he and Rory being in the wrong.
@@SocialExperiment232 It doesn’t matter if they were planning on kids. They were both really young, and kids probably wouldn’t have happened for a hot second. They didn’t have kids. If they did, it would be a different conversation.
Dude, most of us work and clean and cook for ourselves when we’re single. I’ve been jobless before with an SO that worked, and if you don’t have kids there is very little for you to do. It doesn’t take longer than 30 minutes to clean/cook, that isn’t anything compared to having an eight hour job or being in school. If you’re acting like these things are comparable, you are delusion or too young to have lived on your own.
I mean, that reality sounds pretty awful to me. I wouldn’t want to be someone’s bang-maid/mother, but you do you.
@@yrlowendtheory but they were planning on children. What’s the point of her getting a job and then quitting as soon as she’s pregnant. Also if it takes you 30 minutes to cook 3 meals and maintain a whole house and do laundry for two people you definitely are too young to ever lived on your own or understand how much work a housewife does. If you had very little to do then you had a one bedroom apartment and didn’t clean it very often. When you make breakfast, lunch, dinner, it takes way longer than that. Also when the house has a garden it takes even more time. Maybe when you have more experience in life you’ll understand just how much work a woman does in a house and maybe you’ll learn to appreciate it instead of looking down on it the way that you do. My grandmother was a housewife her entire life, even past the age when her kids moved out and she would wake up at 5am and wasn’t done cleaning until 3pm. She worked later on and still insisted doing housework was way more work than going to her job. One of the happiest women I ever met, so sad that there’s so many pick mes out there who think simply clocking in for a job somehow makes them superior. Simply doing things for your husband doesn’t make you someone’s “maid” it means you love him and love being part of the team. If being in a loving caring relationship sounds awful to you and makes you judge the two obviously happy people in it then… well that just says a lot about you and how you look down on other women. Again, if that’s what Dean wanted to begin with and suddenly changed his mind about it then he should have formally broken up with Lindsay instead of giving himself permission to cheat on her while also gaslighting her as if she deserved it. But I know you’re “not like other girls” so that all possibly sounds so lame and girly to you 🤣
I think we all agree Lindsey was the victim. It was a plot point once during Rory and Dean's relationship that he wanted a trad wife, I think it's just what both thought they wanted, but at the same time, the show had such pick me vibes, of looking down on any woman that wasn't ambitious and independent... I just guess that's what they thought feminism was, back then
Definitely true! I feel like since she was given such little screen time we don't get to find out if it was her mom or Dean or maybe both of them who convinced to want to be a homemaker or if she genuinely wanted to be that and maybe that's why Dean was drawn to her to begin with. Plus, Dean had a way of almost villainizing Lindsay by throwing her under the bus and I think Rory in particular was snobby in the belief that people who don't pursue college are throwing their lives away when not everyone can afford to as she said "I've decided to go to Yale" because it's such an easy choice for people without trust funds and Emily and Richard's money🤦🏻♀️
@@Lilagrace326for real. I hated Rory’s pickme behavior so much. She was perfect and all those other girls were sluts and losers not up to her standards. Not going to college isn’t throwing one’s life away. There are many many ways a life can go and honestly I’m glad Rory didn’t have a perfect fairytale ending because she didn’t deserve it. She ended up jobless and still banging married men. So she definitely wasn’t better then those other girls she claimed were beneath her.
So true
@@SocialExperiment232 omg exactly
Well, if there is something to value in the show is the message that women NEED to be financially independent. Not everyone can be like Emily, there is a chance that a husband or partner can always wake up and leave the family or lose their jobs. If a woman can’t put food on her table and pay for her own shelter, her chances in life are pretty much a 100% gamble
I'm so glad you made this video! Lindsay was such a disrespected character by both Dean and Rory. The only thing "wrong" with Lindsay is that she wasn't Rory. As much as I love the Gilmore Girls (and that extends to THE gilmore girls lorelai and rory), I can also 100% acknowledge how Rory and Dean were completely in the wrong for what they did to Lindsay.
Yes. I really don't know how both sites of parents seemed to be totally at ease woth them being married so damn young.
@@songriver1232 To be fair, the parents were probably not much older when they were married. Dean was never super academically inclined, so his parents probably expected him to turn 18 and jump into his own life. Lindsay's parents, don't seem like they had tons of college expectations for their daughter, either. Don't forget, they all grew up in a time where having a high school diploma was enough to earn enough to support a family on 1 income, depending on where you lived, so their kids getting married right out of high school probably didn't strike them the way it would strike parents today.
I think Dean just idolized his first love too much which is often true.
@greendiamondglow Yeah but in addition to two incomes, you get double the student debt AND double the tax dollars for the greedy ones at the top.
i would’ve loved to see lindsay thrive in later seasons or the reboot. like finding herself and what SHE really wants and living her best independent life. i felt so bad for her
Maybe she doesn’t needs to be independent it’s so overplayed one can be a housewife or stay at home abs still have hobbies and interests outside of that…I imagine she married a man who truly appreciates her and puts her firsts and encourages her aspirations, they had a couple kids and on the side is a children’s illustrator and is working with a famous children’s author. It doesn’t have to be either or…
Dean was the horrible one. Lindsey was perfectly fine and I never had any issues with her. She seemed like a good person. Dean was the one that painted her as being bad
A way to excuse his cheating / desire to cheat
That’s what cheaters do; they paint their spouses as bad and somehow deserving to be cheated on.
@@raij465Exactly
The scene with Lindsay in the butcher's shop was really hard to watch. Instead of the confident young girl/woman who knew what she wanted for her wedding date, she here was reduced to trying desperately again and again to please Dean who was just an ab*sive d*ckhead
Dean was the greatest asshole imo
The whole thing just felt shoe horned in for plot. Like Shane, they were just written as NPC's to emphasize the prevailing arc of 'no boy gets over Rory'
I think so too; I think that Lindsay's character is inconsistent because her character was used to serve different plot points.
I actually didn’t feel that way. Teenagers rushing into marriage in small towns is actually pretty common and rebounding is also pretty common.
@@tracim3080 that's true, but in this case they seemd to write it to fail, whereas Lane's didn't
Lane literally had the most "townie" storyline ever, smart likr Rory but doesnt go to school. Dreams of leaving but really does not try, I mean rock bands playing at churches for their big break... "sure, Jan". then she becomes the town waitress living in a shitty apartment and marries the first guy nice to her. Then has two kids with no money. Her storyline alongside her best friend whos mom is independently wealthy and going to Ivy league. It really did become pathetic and seemingly insane that they would still be friends. @@ennuiblue4295
@@tracim3080Yeah I think it made sense too that in a small town many people get married young to have sex while holding to Christian ideals. Lane was a little older but it was the same thing. They glossed over and avoided discussing that at all for Dean or Lindsay but it would make sense that one or both of them felt that way.
I’m surprised there’s no mention of Dean’s whole “housewife” thing that came up when he started dating Rory and they watched Donna Reed together, it feels relevant
What happened
people misunderstand that though. he never said he wanted a housewife, just that coming home to dinner sounded nice, that his parents were like that. then he told rory he didn’t actually want her to be like that after she did the whole donna reed thing
this! i feel like he didnt make up his mind to what he really wants because he wants to have the woman cook for him and their kids but also he is in love with a high achieving teenage girl. i would have loved if this would have been mentioned because there are some unrealistic expections.
I feel like Rory dodged a bullet there, but she also made life harder for a girl that was already having a hard time.
Dean liked the idea of Rory but it’s not the relationship he wants for his life.
Rory was the bullet, lol. But Dean was worse for sure
@@michellemoore1649Dean was the bullet. the excuse he gets baffles me.
I always felt like Dean was a bad dude. He was possessive, prone to anger, and don't even get me started on when he dumped Rory for not saying she loved him back after 3 MONTHS of dating. He then proceeds to jump into a new relationship, love bomb her too like he did Rory, marry her super quick (my theory is so she wouldn't have time to find someone better like Rory did) and then treat her like shit. I dated a guy like Dean and they start out nice but end up like he treated Lindsay. Dean is abusive 100%
I ALWAYS sided with Lindsey here and felt awful for her. I was shocked and appalles when Rory and Dean slept together and I hated that entire storyline. When Dean goes home and Lindsey was so happy the meal she made actually tasted good just made me feel so sorry for her. And I thought about what a jerk Dean was.
While I think what Rory did was horrible, Dean did lie to her. Told her his marriage was over. That it wasn't working. Etc. Dean is the true villain here. He lied and cheated.
That said, Rory knew he was married and should have said that they can't be together until he's divorced.
The whole situation is terrible and poor Lindsey. She was a sweet girl who was trying to be a good wife to her husband who was in love with someone else.
I think what happened with Lindsay is she was raised with the old school mindset of becoming a wife and serving her husband would be her main role in life
And what’s funny is in the earlier episodes of the show when dean was dating Rory he expressed desiring a similar relationship when they were watching Donna reed. So what happened is he did end up getting that type of relationship but didn’t realize the weight and responsibility it takes to sustain 2 people until he actually was put in that situation and he realized it’s not what he wanted anymore and that was their downfall
Yeah being the financial breadwinner is stressful and a lot of pressure for someone just starting out. Lindsay was so unhappy at home feeling like her life revolved around her husband.
Because she wasn’t Rory.
Yeah Dean was raised with that same mindset it was something him and Rory argued about
@@kellharris2491then she could have done something about instead of crying to Dean about how she is board. If she wanted things get a part time job and help out.
@@kellharris2491 Lindsey seemed pretty happy to be a wife and to care for Dean (cooking him dinner, bringing him lunches to work, her home was pretty and clean). If she wasnt, she wouldnt do it, she would do bare minimum (like Rory). She was supporting him, because he was the breadwinner - so it is logical that her life revolved around him. And Deans life revolved around working and supporting both Lindsey and him, so - it is well balanced.
Let's also remember that Dean made Rory aware that he liked the idea of a wife at home while the man worked in season one.
Truly he was fine with going with less to live a smaller simple life. She and Lorelei could not respect his decision.
She didn’t do anything wrong.
She was trusting her husband and believing him when he told her they were going to have a nice life.
But if Lindsey was bored she could have gotten a part time job and still keep the house and cook. A lot of wives do that heck I do that I help out if I was stuff. I don't get mad cause I don't see my husband.
@@lauriecarson6483 she was bored because he left her at home while he worked and didn’t want to go out with her when he was free to do so. She wasn’t bored with her life in general. She just wanted to socialize with her friends with her husband.
For me the most telling evidence about dean and Lindsay's relationship is the donna reed episode. It's clear from that episode that Dean just wants a wife that will wait for him at home and cook for him. Rory can't be that person, but at first Lindsay seems like she can. Obviously that's not a recipe for a happy relationship which is why Dean is always detached and emotionally neglecting of Lindsay, and Lindsay seems needy around him. Eventually Lindsay is forced to realize she can't be Donna Reed either, despite that being what she was taught all her life.
It’s not that it isn’t a recipe for a good relationship is that he wasn’t putting in his part of the deal. I am a “trad wife” (I work from home but still for the most part a home maker) but my husband and I adore each other and we don’t feel forced to partake in our roles we do it because we live our lives. Dean was just so hung up on Rory that he started being a dick to Lindsey for every single thing cause he was getting ready to blame her for his cheating. He wanted to nitpick at everything she did, and spin the narrative in a way where people may think what he did was justified. But it wasn’t… so it is 100% Deans fault and he should have never even started dating Lindsey if he was still not over Rory.
Or maybe Dean didn't actually want a trad wife he just thought he did. And that happens so much. You are raised a certain way and then you grow up and realize you don't actually want that for yourself.
@@kellharris2491 he still had no reason to be as mean to Lindsay as he was. She gave him what he asked for. If he realizes that’s not what he wanted he should have had an open conversation with her. Instead of icing her out and then cheating on her after they got married. The humiliation alone was so cruel of him.
I like Lindsey because she wanted basic things like a townhouse and a car. It’s not like she wasn’t working and expected a “Rolls Royce” and stand alone house at that age. Rory mentions her being tall and leggy but these are natural “free” traits she was born with, she isn’t jealous of her designer closet or expensive things, because Lindsey didn’t have them. I know she isn’t real but I really hope she got older and found a guy who would let her be a stay at home wife/mom and provided all the basic emotional/financial things she needed. We don’t get to know her much, but it’s clear she did nothing wrong, which makes the audience sympathize with her.
So you want Lindsey to not do anything and be a spoiled b as a wife
I agree. I hope she got the life she deserves
@@lauriecarson6483 lmao, as a stay at home wife - it is not easy and it is hard work in itself. If you think it is just lazing around, you are wrong and probably never experienced it.
The thing is, Dean said he wanted a wife like Lindsay: stay at home, sweet, unassuming, eager to please Dean. Things Rory and Lorelei made fun of him for. But Dean was absolutely hung up on Rory.
Be careful what you wish for. Reality is not what you imagined.
People sort of follow in their parents' footsteps.. Lindsey copying her mom maybe.. then in Year in the Life.. Lane is working at the antique shop just like Mrs. Kim and Rory is pregnant and broke just like when Lorelai was.. and Jess is a bachelor with a stable job like Luke.. and Logan is CEO or something just like Mitchum...
That’s what I was thinking
Lorelai is going through chefs at the inn like Emily went through maids, Rory is going to be a single mom like Lorelai, Logan is also unfaithful to his fiancee the way Mitchum is unfaithful to Shira. I hope Rory can be somewhere in the middle of Emily and Lorelai as a mother.
Their relationship reminds me a lot about an issue my mum and dad had. He always wanted a relationship with traditional gender roles. He would work and bring home the money, she would do the cooking, cleaning and childcare. My mum was not that into the idea on not working at all, because without kids she would just be waiting around all day for him to come home, so they agreed she would work a few hours each week and later had 3 kids. Then what happened: my mum would go to my dad for money frequently, to get groceries, schoolsupplies, winter coats for us kids, etc, and my dad was not happy. He always complained that everything was so expensive and was very stingy with money when it came to necessities, however, he was more than willing to splurge on things he valued, like vacations, so he wanted to save money (for a big vacation or whatever) and then get upset because my mum needed money for us kids and it had to come out if his vacation fund. He also picked up more shifts because in his mind, she demands it for her "luxury lifestyle".
In response, my mum upped her hours as well, since we were old enough to spent a few hours by ourselves and she wanted to lift some of the burden off my dad so they could also spend more time againd. This was one of the things he said he resented her for when they split a few years later, that by getting a job and becoming more independant, she "stripped him of his manlyhood and made him feel obsolete".
I think Dean also falls into this. He told Rory he wants a traditional wife and the postcard life, and I think when he got with Lindsay and found out what that is actually like, he found out it was not for him. But instead of working it out, he started projecting his unhappiness onto her, and because he couldn´t admit to himself that he is the core of the issue, he made her the bad guy to avoid responibility.
Amen. So many people are judging Lindsey. It's like women can't win. We are judged when we stay at home and we are judged when we work.
Your Dad accusing your Mom of emasculating him is a joke. My step dad did that too.
His role was to provide and the money was the families not his.
It's sad that your Mom had to practically beg for money to take care of his own kids.
If that's what it means to be a man he emasculated himself.
He didn't want a partner he wanted a subordinate and when he realized that she could work just fine he realized how small he actually was.
They seemed like kids playing house and realized that it’s not fun.
exactly!
My interpretation is that Dean and Lindsays mum pressured Lindsay and Lindsay went along with it, being unconfrontational, wanting to make them happy and too young to know what she really wants. Lindsays mum seems very traditional and ecstatic for her daughter to be married and have grandkids and Dean really did like the Donna Reid concept in season 1.
I feel like her parents and him took advantage of the fact that she was young and innocent. I feel like her mum pressured her into being a stay at home parent
100% even if they meant well, it's what they did. @@reechaaryal8094
My headcannon is that Lindsay focused on her life, friends, and career for a few years. Then had an awesome meet cute with a sweet guy and ended up marrying and having kids. Maybe she stays home full time, maybe she doesn’t, but I like to think she’s surrounded by chaos and love. ❤
Agreed. Whether she kept desiring that stay-at-home-spouse life or ultimately decided she would prefer having a career (both perfectly valid choices), I hope she ultimately got the life she wanted.
This was a great analysis and really gets to the root of the problem with Lindsey; that she's written inconsistently and this greatly affects how the audience views the character.
I also think one of your last lines just nails the entire Rory/Dean/Lindsey dynamic; the adults have to step in because the KIDS can't handle the situation. Lindsey and Dean should never have married that young and that quickly and they clearly did not know how to function in what was a very adult situation because, you know, they're kids!
Yes! None of them were ready to deal with complex relationships and commitments such as marriage. Some people could be ready at that age, but certainly not these characters.
People aren’t constant. That’s realistic.
@@tracim3080I agree! She doesn’t get a ton of screen time so we really don’t get to know her! She could be all the ways she acts, people are complicated! Especially teenagers, they are moody and unpredictable!
I started dating my husband when I was 17. Six months later (I was 18 by then), he proposed, and just 5 months after that, we were married. Still happily married 9 years later and pregnant with our fourth child. It happens! Especially in a small town when you've known each other for years before you start officially dating.
Thank you for sharing your personal story! I wish I clarified in my video that for some people, the decision to marry young and start a family is the right decision, because they are ready for it and have the emotional maturity and have the right bond with each other. I do think that some people can marry young and it's right for them, but just not these characters. There were things that needed to be addressed before they made that decision. I really appreciate your perspective.
My husband and I dated for 6 months before getting engaged, getting married 5 months after that. We were 24 and 30- both dating to find our spouse, and were very clear as to what our values were, expectations, etc. We've got three kids; next summer will be our 10th anniversary! Clear communication and emotional maturity is absolutely essential- something definitely lacking in GG!
@abbyski Yes! Dating to find a spouse and being upfront about your values and expectations is a must! So many people treat dating just as a hobby to entertain themselves and stroke their ego.
And there are some people who gets married young and have problems and gets divorce at an early age. Some marriage works and some don't.
Dean was the new kid in town in episode 1. I doubt he knew Lindsey for long time before proposing.
I am so glad that Rory broke up with dean. I saw his controlling behavior in the relationship and it came through in that creepy episode where Rory dresses up as a housewife to serve Dean dinner ( I still can’t rewatch that episode). There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a housewife, but it just seemed like at points Dean was pressuring Rory and was a tad bit controlling. Rory wasn’t perfect either but I’m glad that she didn’t choose Dean. And I also get like Lindsay didn’t get enough character development. I would have loved to see/hear her speak but she had very limited lines.
To me Lindsey reminds me of natasha from sex and the city someone who is painted as the bad guy when she really isn't in my opinion I really would had liked to seen her in a year in the life Lindsey didn't deserve to be treated like that by dean and rory
I'm totally with you there; she is kind of like Natasha! I like Sex and the City too. I agree that Natasha and Lindsay have a similar plotline; the protagonist paints the wife as the bad guy, but we actually don't know much about the wife.
@@PensiveWhiskers yes thank you I thought I was the only person who think that way
spot on! good call.
I just realized Dean and Lindsay's public breakup is kinda a mirror of how Dean and Rory broke up so publicly at the Dance marathon
Yes, true. Now that I’m thinking about it, a lot of the breakups seem to be public. The final Dean and Rory breakup was also public.
It’s also worth pointing out that in an early episode when Dean and Rory are dating, they are watching the Donna Reed show and Dean says that he wants that kind of lifestyle. He wants a wife that wears nice dresses and cooks meals and is basically a homemaker. Rory mocks him for it and makes it pretty clear that that’s not her. I think with Lindsey, Dean saw his opportunity to have the wife he told Rory he wanted in season 1. So it wouldn’t surprise me if Dean and Lindsey maybe had the same idea of their ideal marriage and bonded over that which is why Dean proposed. So he also probably didn’t want Lindsey working because that’s not what they agreed upon before they got married and that would go against his ideal marriage.
I think they got married too young. Lindsey and Dean needed more maturing to know what it means to have a good partnership. It doesn't mean getting your way all the time; it is about compromise. Even a housewife has autonomy and is allowed to speak for herself and make decisions for the household. And even a husband that has responsibilities like making the bulk of the money doesn't boss her around. In of themselves, Lindsay was perfect for Dean. Rory is immensely career-driven and opposed that lifestyle as seen in season 1. Rory wouldn't be the type to always make food for Dean - she lived off of take out with Lorelai and it would be a ton of food for how much she eats. Their lifestyles would not be compatible with each other.
we dont see linsey after season 5 but i hope she got away got therapy got the love she deserved
I hope so
I feel like Dean could have gone down two different paths becoming directly abusive, we see his anger issues while he is with Rory (Lorelei is notably never present), or he could get his anger under control.
Sometimes his anger is portrayed by the fanbase as being about jealousy but it starts way before Jess is in the picture.
Anger is also often the only negative emotion boys are allowed to have.
Lindsay was better off without Dean, I like to think she got everything she wanted in a healthy relationship.
It would had been great to seen Lindsey in a year the life
If they do another year in the life I hope there’s a scene where Rory and Lindsay sit down and talk to each other. We need more perspective on Lindsay!
Girls get angry too
It ended on a cliff hanger I would have liked to see what Rory did with baby I am not surprised that she dated chase I can’t remember his name that guy while he was engaged to another woman I didn’t like that at all
I hated the scene where he ignores her request to be alone by showing up then going off on her to the point that Paris has to interrupt either out of hating being exposed to more fighting ie to help Rory. There's a problem when a teenage relationship is mirroring a couple going through a messy break up.
Fascinating analysis about her being raised by controlling parents and that leading to her path.
It reminds me of when Emily and Richard are separated, and she contemplates how she's never lived by herself. I forget the exact quote, but she says something along the lines of "I've never lived by myself. I was a daughter living with my parents, then a roommate in college, then a wife with Richard."
Oh that's a good parallel! I know which scene you're talking about with Emily. I think it's when Richard has his second heart attack and Emily is talking to Lorelai. It's possible that Lindsay's upbringing was similar to Emily's (without the wealth).
I'm glad someone spoke about Lindsay. I feel really bad for her as a character. I think she was created by the showrunner to contrast Rory, being the sweet demure girl that it seemed Dean had wanted. I really hope Lindsay finds the life she wants one day, fulfilling herself and her own expectations, not being defined by the expectations of her nearest and dearest.
When Dean was dating Rory and they had the fight over that old tv show, he made it very clear that he liked the idea of a stay at home wife who cooks and cleans for her husband. So I think it's Dean that wanted Lindsay to not work
i think that linsey was kinda raised to be a housewife..like viewing her mom nd how linsey approaches stuff
Her mom always gave me the heebie-jeebies. There's something very off about the way Lindsey's parents hover around her constantly.
Maybe her mom being around all the time is the reason she's set on having a house of their own. So they can have some space.
Dean never really got over Rory and for some reason Rory became “interested” (putting this in quotation marks since I’m not sure if she really did) in him after his marriage and that lead to the cheating-Lindsay was never at fault, her story reminds me of the stories other girlfriends/wife’s tell. How their boyfriends/husbands never got over their first love. Even though Dean never got over Rory it struck a nerve with how Rory took advantage of that, like why did she do that? She never cared for Lindsay and honestly I feel like she didn’t even like Dean after they broke things off so Rory could go with Jess.
Rory always felt like Dean was hers. He never stopped being 'hers'. She could come and go and pick him back up when she wanted. It's because after awhile she saw herself as better then him. Don't get me wrong I love Rory but she is a flawed character that had some growing up to do.
For me it was like Dean sold himself the idea that getting married would resolve his life, I think he always resented that Rory was a career driven person. So, lno wonder why when Jesse came up with the same love for books as Rory, Dean was out of place. Rory just wanted Dean because he reminded of the time things were perfect for her.
I think her downfall was simply not being the person that Dean truly wanted to be with. She deserved way way better.
The show had a really bad habit of portraying the romantic 'rivals' of the Gilmore Girls in a really bad light when they did absolutely nothing wrong (Shane, Lindsay, even Lucy to some point...). Especially with Rory it is always the attitude of 'if I don’t / cannot have that man, noone else can either'. It is really toxic behaviour and for a show that claims to be progressive and feminist, the Gilmore girls are mostly anti-feminist tbh. Lindsay did absolutely nothing wrong.
See I always thought they were showing how ridiculous it is to get jealous.
Like none of them had actual character flaws and all seemed like ok people in their own ways but that green eyed monster kind make you treat them like an ass. Which looks ridiculous from an outside perspective.
@@tracim3080 I thought the opposite. The show made it seem like we should see the Gilmores as the better woman.
@@Pinkladyisv why?
Dean used Lindsey as a band aid for his hurt over Rory and his break up. The night before his wedding, he gets drunk and asks Luke why Rory couldnt love him. Lindsey was a teenage girl, seemingly used to getting what she wants and needs from her parents, so i dont think she questioned if her desires were teneble or fair. Either way, girl was used badly.
In my opinion, both Dean and Lindsay really loved this image of the conservative small town life: wife stays at home to clean, cook, do laundry and later care for the kids, while the husband works. Dean liked that image too, as we see in Season 1 with Donna Reed. However, once they end up in that scenario (Lindsay's mother didn't help), they both find out they hate it. Subsequently, Dean takes his frustration out on her, and cheats.
I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily this kind of life they hate - for Dean, it’s the fact that he’s not over Rory, so even the “perfect wife” he always imagined can’t make him happy, that’s why he’s so frustrated. I’m not sure about Lindsay, maybe she could have been happy if her husband appreciated her, but who knows.
Dean got the marriage he wanted, but unfortunately for Lindsey, she was the wrong person. Dean would have been perfectly happy in that type of marriage if it was with Rory. He would have bent over and backward to give Rory that townhouse and anything else she wanted. He never would have treated Rory the way he treated Lidnesy.
People are divided on Lindsay??? I felt so bad for her! That scene where Dean blows up at her for touching his phone? I will hate him forever for that. All Lindsay did was try. She was being the type of wife Dean himself told Rory he wanted at the beginning of their relationship. She had her parents there to help because she didn't know how to do all the things a SAHW is supposed to do. And I doubt Dean was spending much time helping around the house the way "a man is supposed to", so yeah, her dad was involved, too. People getting on Lindsay for wanting a nice life on 1 income, like DEAN HIMSELF SAID WAS HIS IDEAL, is like all these dudes out here wanting a "traditional wife", but then complaining about gold diggers. She deserved so much better. She was a better wife than Dean deserved, and Rory was horrible for judging her like that when she of ALL people should know that's what Dean wanted.
I also have always wondered what happened after the fight with jess and dean. My best guess was lindsey asked what was going on/if dean was over rory ( rightfully so) and in what I assume was probably a defensive and aggressive action (based on dean's previous and future behavior) dean doubled down on being over rory by proposing. Like you said, lindsey was fully conditioned to be a young stay at home wife so it would make sense she would go along with it.
I also think the episode in season 1 about the donna reed show is relevant to all this. Dean said he liked the idea of a doting wife who handled the house and cooking. After breaking up with rory it seems like dean's goal was to find someone that fit this ideal.
When Rory and Dean were first dating, they had this fight because Dean liked the traditional stay-at-home wife thing, and Rory didn't see herself that way. In fact, their relationship clashed many times when it came to Rory's ambition.
So what I think is that maybe in his relationship with Lindsey he presented the same expectations for a relationship, and it matchdd with what Lindsey wanted for herself, so they decided to live that way.
They also broke up cause Dean for mad cause Rory didn't say I love you back. He mad her fell so bad.
I think Lindsay was the one who wanted to stay in Stars Hollow and Dean made her pay for it by staying at home and expecting her to actually play the role of the housewife she thoughtlessly picked by wanting to stay in Stars Hollow in the first place. It felt like they wanted to rush into a phase of their lives they thought would give their relationship more stability. If Lindsay would have had an idea what to do after school apart from being with Dean and Dean would have gone to New Haven, their relationship probably could have worked out, at least for longer as it did.
Doesn’t matter if she’s the worst person alive-they took marriage vows, and Rory and Dean’s are selfish a holes for breaking those vows. Marriage is hard and no one is perfect-the one thing you should have guaranteed is that commitment to each other, without that you have nothing.
Dean is more of awhole then Rory is. He took the cowards way out and instead of talking to his wife about the marriage he want crying to Rory. I'm sorry Dean is so much to blame them Rory is.
@@jasminaj3682You can always spot the people who would cheat by their comments.
In a way I think Lindsay's character is a sort of foil for Emily, which I wish they had leaned into more. Throughout the series we see Emily questioning her own role as a mother, a wife, and her independence. She makes multiple references to the importance of finding a husband and how that was something she always needed to strive for growing up. With Lindsay we see this idea actively being played out, sort of like Lane getting married and having the twins is a parallel to Lorelai not getting married and having Rory as a single parent. Lindsay always seemed like such a sweet character and I wish we got more of her, although even with the little we got, it's easy to sympathize with her considering Dean's actions.
I feel so bad for Lindsay, she seems to actually enjoy home building and relies on her family and wants Dean and her to rely on eachother. She would have been so much happier if she didn’t date Dean. Anyone who dates one of Rory’s stars hollow exes is set up for misery, because the whole town worships her and will vilify anyone who Rory doesn’t like. I also think it’s sooooo bratty for Rory to just say “what does she even do all day”. My mom was a stay at home cause she had four girls, and she got comments all the time like that because now people think that a women staying home is just lazy, when really she’s working. Dean says that Lindsay’s dad visits their house to fix things up, so it isn’t unreasonable to assume that she helps him. She also makes Dean and his construction crew a hot lunch daily, so she’s obviously cooking in the morning to make sure she’s on time to drop it off then she goes home has to clean up from lunch and get herself something to eat if she didn’t eat with Dean and then there’s chores to do like laundry and grocery shopping and cleaning so by the time she’s done with that it’s probably dinner time and then Dean come home and they eat and then it’s time to clean the kitchen again so that when she makes breakfast for them the next morning she won’t have to clean twice.
I never truly understood the point of Lindsay’s character. I thought she was going to be used as a realization for Rory. Dean would be the one who got away, the one she let go of. Then they sleep together. ??? What did that plot line accomplish? It really felt like it was only there because Rory is Rory and how could anyone get over Rory, right? I call this the airy fairy girl trope. Every main love interest bends over backwards for the main character even if it makes little sense.
Hahahahaha, "airy fairy girl trope" I literally laughed out loud. We do see a lot of that on the show.
Plus dean was never over rory but in this case im team Lindsey
For sure! The fact that he never got over Rory really set Lindsay up for a bad ending. Hypothetically, even if the cheating didn't happen, it would have still ended badly between them.
About leaving the phone in the couch cushions: In the early 2000s it wasn’t unusual to just leave your phone at home when you went out. People weren’t super attached to their phones yet and it wasn’t quite yet the social norm to always have your phone on your person at all times. So it wasn’t that weird for him to just leave it on the couch.
Oh yes, for sure. I think the original comment that I saw on this topic wasn't questioning why he left his phone but rather why it was within the couch cushions, hidden from sight. Ultimately, we don't know if he just left it on the couch and it slipped between the cushions or if he purposefully put it between the couch cushions. Realistically, it is more likely that he left his phone and it just slipped between the cushions. I should have added a caveat to my comment in the video. Very good point!
i believe the reason they made lindsay a stay at home spouse was because dean expressed how he thought that would be nice in the donna reid episode, to show that’s not actually what he wants in practice,
also for any swifties out there can we agree that lindsay is so tolerate it coded towards the end of their marriage
First up, love this series of analysis. They’re a great breakdown on a show that exposes dysfunctional family mental health problems and their impact on communities and society in regards to toxic culture. This one, in particular, gives us a lot from such a brief character. There's a couple of things worth noting that were not mentioned in this one though..
There's a very early episode in the series where Dean tells Rory he likes the idea of women adopting the 1950s role of wearing a pretty dress, and being a house wife (a domestic with benefits). No job. Stays at home. Cooks and cleans. Waits on her husband. Unconditional respect. Puts her own dreams and aspirations behind his. Knows 'her place'.
Dean’s entire character arc has established the foundations here. He likes to dominate and control women he sees as potential mates. His jealousy regarding Rory is also present with Lindsay, someone he started dating as a means of manipulating Rory. Who she can see, where she can go, what she can do. It narcissism bordering on malignant.
Dean also demonstrates all the hallmarks of escalating toward domestic violence. He makes accusations founded in projection and gas-lighting to conceal his obsession and then affair with Rory. His reshaping of facts to cast himself as the victim, and assigns blame to the girls. Both girls have been, in different ways, raised to accept a lot of that nonsense. Even if there were problems in the marriage, and even though he lied, the affair between Dean and Rory is indefensible.
You might also recognise similar 'values' in the role Emily plays for Richard, and that Lindsay not only looks like Lorelai, but appears to fill the behaviour Emily and Richard expected her to adopt toward a husband. It’s a juxtaposition to show us what Lorelai could have been. An endless cycle that can rarely be broken, and too often returns to what it was.
Which brings us to the confrontation between Lorelai and Lindsay’s mother, with the girls in tow, in the town square. A particularly awkward seen because it’s orchestrated for the story. After the revelation of the affair and marriage breakdown, why would Rory of Lorelai go there? It reeks of some primal urge to reclaim social positioning, to assert righteousness.
The aim Lindsay’s mother has there is to get even in anger, to seek out and humiliate and alienate Rory by making a huge public scene for the entire community to witness and spread through gossip. In her arrogance, she fails to notice she has humiliated her own daughter in the process. It lets us know that her parents, like Dean, only care about themselves, not her.
It also shows us that Lorelai is compromising her own beliefs. She must defend her daughter, who has made selfish choices, but in so doing sacrifices someone that is like she once was. While she tries to walk a fine line, Lorelai ultimately adds harm to Lindsay to protect Rory, and in so doing fails to let Rory learn a very important lesson to avoid repetition and escalation.
Pay attention and you suddenly realise Lorelai is doing what Richard did when the character of Lorelai was attacked by Christopher’s father. The sad thing here is that Rory and Lindsay may have been friends under other circumstances, and both of them walk away with scars and bad lessons that (one way or another) shape who they will become.
Luke, in case you missed it, represents what happens when good people are aware of things… but say and do nothing for fear of individual and community repercussions. To avoid conflict, Luke must compromise his very nature by abandoning people who need help. The voice of reason others forever seek to silence to maintain what they want rather than get what they need.
Haven’t seen season 6 and on yet, but we have seen glimpses of hope for Lindsay after Dean. Her friendship with Michel. Both light up when they see one another. He is less abrasive around her, and she comes out of her shell. These two would be really good for one another, even if it didn't evolve to more. I doubt her parents would approve of that relationship though.
I always get so excited seeing one of your videos!
Your analysis' are so interesting and really make me see all there characters in a different light - each time I'm like "DUH, why haven't I thought of it that way before?" Love it, make more please!
Oh my gosh, thank you so much! I'm so happy you are enjoying them! This honestly makes me so happy to read. There will definitely be more coming.
Honestly i wish this video was longer! Great analysis and inferences :) ive seen lots of theories about Dean but I've never heard anyone discuss the influence of Lindey's parents
Thank you! I'll make longer videos then 🙂. I think that when I made that comment about the length of my videos, it was coming from my frustration with the fact that I feel like I spend too much time summarizing scenes and not enough time analyzing them/giving my opinion. It's something that I want to change for my videos.
@PensiveWhiskers I understand, I'm sure that'll come more with time as you progress with scripting!! Either way, it was great video and I'm happy the algorithm sent you my way :)
considering how much dean was into the whole donna reed prospect, i wouldn’t be surprised if he convinced lindsay to be a stay at home wife🤷♀️ but i also think that lindsay doesn’t seem like she would be against it. it’s also probably partially a nod to that donna reed episode and the fact that dean likes this dynamic
I also think a side point the show creators were trying to do with Dean/Lindsey, is that marriage at such a young age is sort of destined to breakdown. Because that sort of backs up the idea that IF Lorelei and Christopher had gone through with it right out of high school like their parents wanted, it never would have worked out since just like Lindsey and Dean, they were both still just kids who didn’t want to have to live under their parents thumb (sort of the way we see Lindsey’s parents portrayed as being a third party in the marriage.)
I don’t know though, that was just my take.
I really enjoyed how comprehensive this was. I liked that you went over every scene and properly delved into it. Such a great analysis!
Thank you! 😄I worry sometimes that I spend too much time describing scenes so I am glad that level of detail works for some people!
I just realized maybe why Lindsay was cold to Rory in the beginning of their relationship with Dean because maybe Dean was saying bad things about Rory to her.
That's a good theory!
I think we can tell from Dean's relationship with Rory that he was the one who thought he wanted a stay-at-home wife. Maybe he truly did, but he was naive to think it would work out that way straight out of high school. We don't see her express any of her desires, a hint that maybe she doesn't have free expression at home, either with her parents or with Dean. Her parents and Dean both seem to instill this idea that she needs to just be a housewife. That's what makes it all the more upsetting for her when he complains about her to, and eventually cheats with, Rory. Rory's the opposite of what Dean said he wanted in a wife.
Rory was an itch he had to scratch
I was just thinking that I'll bet Lindsay's mom was the one telling her she didn't need to get a job all she needed to do was stay home take care of the house and pump out babies that's how her mom came across to me and Lindsey just didn't know any better and even if she wanted those things for herself she was still too conditioned and sheltered to truly understand what it actually meant.
me too ! and i think that maybe Lindsay’s parents saw their relationship growing and before it got “serious” aka s3x, they maybe talk to them about marriage.
And also Dean wanted that traditional life so I think they pressured her into that
I don’t think Lindsey was a good or bad wife. I think that Dean was a horrible husband and an asshole for asking Lindsey to marry him while still in love with Rory ( that said Rory is very much in the wrong too!). I do think Dean moving on and dating again is good but it shouldn’t have led to an engagement/ marriage right out of High School.
Love how you always pick characters to analize others wouldn't :)
after watching this it made me think about that episode, in i believe season 1, were dean told rory that he likes the idea of having a housewife, someone to come home to, someone that has dinner ready when he gets home. and rory thinks that's awful and he says he's an old fashion kinda guy. but when he actually gets that he doesn't want it. i don't remember if he says he wants lindsay to get a job but it feels like he does. he wanted a housewife and that's what he got. maybe he wanted rory to be his housewife but that wasn't what she wanted. maybe he wanted lindsay to get a job but that wasn't what she wanted. it almost feels like he wanted lindsay to be rory 2.0. what he wanted out of rory was what lindsay gave to him and what he wanted out of lindsay was what rory gave to him. (hope that all made sense)
The Lindsey-Dean relationship always felt so rushed. Seeing how controlling her parents are I thought she just wanted out and married the first boy that came along and seemed to be nice. Maybe she even faked a "pregnancy-scare" to make it happen the faster the better, I can't imagine why else a teenage boy would've get married so quickly. Clearly neither of them had any idea how a grown-up relationship works and had very different expectations. It was doomed from the very beginning.
I think Dean proposed to Lindsay to somehow prove that he was over Rory or to convince himself that he was over her..
When Dean and Rory dated it’s like he became addicted to her. Started sweetly but as time went on he revealed himself to be super intense and overwhelming. Rory is someone who appreciates having time to herself and will become frustrated when obstacles get in her way of her goals. They just weren’t going to work.
Him wanting the house wife thing (Donna Reid) and Lindsay wanting to be the house wife, made these two seem really good for each other. The obvious issue with these two is that they were so bloody young, but I also think the “Rory addiction” was still in effect. In my opinion Lindsay wasn’t this innocent girl that a lot of people view her as. We see her arguing with Dean about him not spending enough time with her because he’s always working yet she wants him to work hard so she can have luxuries only money can buy. It’s like she expected Dean to be in two places at once and would start to whine when he couldn’t magically clone himself. Now don’t get me wrong, she most definitely is not awful I just had some frustrations with her. In saying all of that, doesn’t matter how south the relationship has gotten, there’s NO excuse for cheating.
I’m not surprised Dean cheated with Rory, and not surprised Rory was the other woman. Rory kept referring to him as “my Dean” when he’s literally a husband to someone else? She has to get what she wants or she throws a tantrum like a kid. Cheating makes you a shit person. There’s never a valid reason to cheat.
Dean is an ass hole for what he did.
Rory is an ass hole for the part she played.
Lindsay had her frustrating moments, but she never wronged Dean or Rory.
See I saw this as dreams vs reality. Dean was stressed as the provider.
He had to work so much just to support a home with her not working. He said that's how he preferred it.
She thought that's how she wanted it too but then at home all day she is bored and unhappy with her whole life revolving around her husband waiting for him to get home.
Others judge them for their traditional household and her Mother was already pressuring them for grandbabies.
This is very true for women and men in this day and age who try to live a traditional marriage. Dean can barely support his family working by himself.
Women struggle and feel isolated as a stay at home spouse when all the woman around them are working or striving for life outside the home.
This is why many have these mommy groups. But she doesn't have kids yet and so she didn't have any purpose.
This is the reality vs the dream.
@@kellharris2491 You definitely have a point, she probably feels quite lost and isolated you’re right. If both people in the relationship want the old fashioned provider and stay-at-home dynamic then that’s great, but being in a small town would’ve especially been hard as everyone she knew would’ve been off doing things so probably felt really out of place.
They were just too young for what they had dreamt, you’re right.
I definitely agree. She was doing what she was taught. Her mom was elated that Lindsay got married so young, probably because she did too.
Her mom was controlling the marriage and that not good. She needed to stay out of it.
Your take has always been my take. I think the townhouse, car, and lack of job were all things that her mother told her
The funny thing is, I didn't have this opinion until I actually decided to analyze Lindsay. I never disliked Lindsay, I was mostly confused by her. It wasn't until I watched all of her scenes that I started to feel like her mother was too controlling and I felt even more badly for her than I did before.
Lindsay is someone who was smothered by her parents her whole life and learned to want what they wanted for her because she didn’t know anything else. I’d infer from the scenes that Lindsay’s parents were the ones to suggest the two get married so quickly because of how much they seem to want Lindsay to be a housewife and mother, and a job would distract her from those goals. Dean then would have gone along with it because he’s expressed wanting a traditional wife in the past and he’s desperately trying to move on from rory, who’s nothing like that. Because Lindsay can’t really imagine a life for herself, she tries to express her wants in the confines of her controlled life. A townhouse would afford her some separation from her parents, while a car would afford her more autonomy and mobility. It could even ease a commute time if Dean wanted to go back to school. However, because we get so much of Dean’s perspective on the relationship, the show makes it look to the audience like she’s asking too much of him. But it would make sense for him to view it that way if he doesn’t really know whether or not these desires are coming from her or her parents.
Absolutely, we get a very limited perspective on what she actually wants and where those desires came from.
while i have you, would you consider a video on the show's depiction of rory and lorelais early years? (time from rory's birth until the pilot episode) it's rarely talked about on the show and in the fandom unlike lorelai's past and pregnancy, could be an interesting insight into the characters! (my mom always thought it was interesting how lorelai became a master seamstress out of necessity but never taught herself to cook)@@PensiveWhiskers
@@noorjehan86 That's an interesting idea! Your mom makes a good point. I think there might be a few inconsistencies when considering their life before the show, like how well they knew the town members. I'll add it to the list.
We always talk about justice for Lane, but we also need a justice for Lindsay movement. Seems like her greatest 'flaw' was that she was the anti-Rory.
Rewatching the rory and dean first time scene, I felt as though the consent was muddy on Rory's side. Yes she was a grown up, but she was under the impression that Dean had communicated to lindsay that he wanted to separate.
Dean was very happy having a wife at home he could control, gaslight and emotionally abuse, while also sleeping with Rory even though he knew her first time was a big deal for her.
To me it just didn't appear as if Rory was fully informed, so her first time doesn't read as completely consensual
My backstory was always that Dean and Lindsay both had very traditional, religious parents that we don't see much of (except Lindsay's mom), who put a lot of pressure on them to get married young and have a traditional family. Because otherwise getting married right out of high school would be pretty odd in New England around 2000.
I think Dean definitely played a part in Lindsey's decision to be a stay at home wife, but then resented her for it after the fact.
Remember that all the way back in Season 1's "That damn Donna Reed", Dean expresses to Rory that the idea that he thinks the idea of a loving stay at home housewife is nice. He even holds his mother up as a template of how it can work.
That is clearly not who Rory is and the intensity of her backlash seems to through Dean through a loop.
Throughout the rest of Dean and Rory's relationship he plays at trying to be supportive until the reality of who Rory is clashes with his needs and we see early signs of his controlling behavior that you bring up in the video.
So,again in That Damn Donna Reed Rory's attempt to repair the breach with Deen through a Donna Reed night very quickly placates Dean and we see how much he loves the attention and devotion of having someone attend to him domesticallly.
Fast forward back to Lindsey and he rebounds to her from Rory and it is very telling that he chooses someone whose qualities are diametrically opposed Rory's.
Fast forward again to Dean and Lindsey's marriage and it finally sinks in with Dean that having the reality of a doting, stay at home wife has lost it's sheen and he realizes what he lost in Rory.
As we see when he and Rory's relationship actually resumes that his old behaviors towards her return.
So while Lindsey may have wanted things like a townhouse or to be a stay at home wife, she no doubt had additional encouragement from Dean.
Over the course of the series and his two relationships we see a picture painted of Dean of that of an emotionally immature boy who does not know what he wants or how to express his feelings in a healthy way.
While we only have Dean's word in "Fall", he does seem, eventually, to pull it together.
There’s two sides to this. First, Dean and Rory should have never cheated on Lindsey. There is no excuse. Lindsey’s actions in no way justified the way she was treated. Now, a look at Lindsey: she just graduated from high school and does nothing all day? Not school, work she wasn’t living in the 1700’s. As a parent of a teenager during this time period It would have been normal for her to have had a job, or go to school, possibly both, even though she was married. Secondly, she was very demanding and childlike. She expected Dean to work, she didn’t support his wanting to go to school, and he had to foot all the bills without her contributing one cent. She was very young, immature and she should never have gotten married in the first place. It seems like she wanted to play house and Dean wanted a distraction from Rory. Again, her actions did not justify what Rory and Dean did. They were all babies with a lot of growing up to do.
I will forever have so much empathy for Lindsay, she seemed so sweet and lovely and didn't deserve any of it.
Yes! Justice for Lindsey 🎉 she literally did nothing wrong. She was hurt for no reason also. Dean should have never married her. Luke called it all. Poor girl just fell in love with the wrong person early. And the way you broke it down in this video is very on point with the situation that played out.
Can you do Jason “Digger” Styles next ? I’d love to her how you feel about him.
Absolutely! Jason is on the list, I have all my notes on him ready. I have 1-2 videos before him, but he is definitely coming up.
I’m about to commit Gilmore Girls blasphemy here but Lorelai should have ended up with Jason over Luke and I will die on this hill lol.
All opinions are welcome here on this channel. 🙂I know the fandom has a lot of diehard shippers but I like different perspectives.
@@jennatodd4664 I definitely agree, I never liked Luke and Lorelai together. My favourite partner for her in the end was Jason but before Sherry got pregnant it was Christopher who was my favourite partner for Lorelai
@jesstheoctopi2984 I think, more than anything, my issue with the Luke/Lorelai pairing is that I agree it works quite well in theory but I see absolutely zero chemistry between Lauren Graham and Scott Patterson.
On this show, it is more normal for the mom to be more involved in the daughter's life. Lorelai has an absurd involvement with Rory, so why shouldn't Lindsay have a similar over-attached mother? That seems more normalized in this show's universe.
I think there are reasonable situations where you as a partner can say you do not want a partner talking to someone else. I had an ex that would go and run to girls that would do cruel things. I know it is reflective on him, in more ways then one. But one of the women was a groomer who would say all kinds of nasty things about me, because she wanted him. I think it was completely reasonable for me to ask him not to have any contact with her especially if he had valued our relationship. So Lindsay requesting Dean not have contact with Rory is actually reasonable especially after you see the end results. I do think Lindsay probably was use to trying to make people happy, it can be debilitating to have overbearing parents. I think she would have found her own. I don't think there was a problem with them getting married so young, mature people can do it well. There were many external circumstances that preyed upon their relationship, most of all Rory. Who treated Dean as a toy she didn't want to play with anymore and than when someone else wanted it, she got possessive. I am not saying they would not have had other problems but Rory in my opinion was a predator to that relationship.
Remember Dean said he thought a stay at home wife would be something he'd really like when watching TV with Rory and that was a whole episode thing? I always presumed he had rebounded from Rory and her values by deliberately telling Lindsay he wanted a stay at home wife and possibly just cancelled on college cause he always felt it was Rory's thing, not his (which it was). I think Lindsay was also under pressure from her own family (with her traditional stay at home mother) to do the same aka 'that's what marriage is and you two kids are married'.
As someone who was raised very traditionally, I think it’s easy for outsiders to underestimate how ingrained some expectations are. I worked after I was married, but was judged for it. My guess is that it’s parental pressure to stay home, not so much a discussion as a couple or even an expectation that Dean has.
From a different angle (and somewhat contradictory), my parents tried to prevent my brother from marrying young but there was no stopping him. So her parents might have not exactly given permission for her to get married so young, but still wanted to be involved/have control in her life.
I agree, I always felt bad for Lindsay and never thought she was an 'evil' character. Her behaviors always remind me of someone who grew up in the like stricter christian liftstyle. Staying home, taking care of the husband, always obeying the parents and then spouse. I wish we had seen her go on to better things, like in A Year in the Life seen her charcter grown into a fully independent person who was just happy with life.
I appreciate this video. I feel like cheating and or having affairs has in a weird way become normalized and glamorized in television. Yeah, it’s sweet to think of Rory and Dean together , but let’s be real: Rory got sick of Dean and only wanted him back when he had moved on. I always felt bad for Lindsay. How can anyone compete with the “beloved Rory who does no wrong?”
I actually totally agree with your assessment although we have very little to go on. I wish we’d gotten an update in a year in the life.
I love the silhouette of the cat at the end. :)
Lindsay was given a bad rap that she didn't deserve. I completely agree with your assessment of her at the end. She was so very young when she and Dean married, and she hadn't yet had any chance to come into her own or to learn how to stand up for herself. Her parents had always done everything for her and sheltered her, and Lindsay was conditioned into being the woman she seemed to be turning into. I hope that after she left Dean, that she was able to break away from her parents' stranglehold on her life and find out who she really was.
I think that Lindsay could've been a likeable person on the show if she was given a proper chance to be.
Rory's affair with Dean was the when I first really started to dislike Rory and Dean. They should never have gotten back together since Dean was with Lindsay, but when Rory wanted someone or something, she didn't care who she got to get it, and that was seen clearly at this time.
I like to think that she broke away from her parents after her divorce. If I'm feeling creative enough one day, it would be fun to make a fanfiction video on Lindsay, showing what happened to her after her divorce. I would be nice to give her a happy ending. The actress has been on other shows and movies so that would be interesting to put together.
I think the stay at home thing was Dean's idea of a marriage. Remember the Donna Reed episode? How he was all for the 50s picture of the wife staying at home?
In season one, there’s an episode where Rory, Lorelei, and Dean watch an episode of Donna Reeves in their living room. This episode focuses on Dean’s desire to have a traditional wife and Rory’s blatant opposition of it. Rory tells Dean her points in an argument they have in this episode, her points basically describing Dean and Lindsay’s marriage. The purpose of Dean and Lindsay being together is to show that:
1. Dean it’s not satisfied with finding a girl who wants to be a trad wife, it shows he wanted to make Rory his trad wife. Which Rory didn’t want. I am sure that if Dean and Rory had never broken up that he would’ve tried to control Rory to make her his picturesque traditional wife. And they would’ve ended up divorced.
And 2. That Rory’s fear of being a traditional wife ends up becoming reality. Dean dismisses and disapproves Rory’s points by saying that just because a woman is a traditional wife doesn’t mean that she’s going to live in this oppressive traditional life environment. But, and here’s the irony, Rory’s fear happens later in the show when he ends up becoming exactly what Rory didn’t want. And another layer of irony that Rory defends Dean after saying he doesn’t want what Lindsay is when he has always wanted that. Which goes to show Rory’s complete delusion. And is really the first sign of Rory’s downfall.
Genius storytelling and plot progression on the part of Amy Sherman Palladino!
Great analysis! Your observations about Lindsay’s upbringing and parents are spot on
Thank you! When I finish formulating my notes, I think it's funny that I'm pulling out so much information out of the few scenes that we get. Sometimes it feels like I'm overanalyzing, but then it's really cool to see that people agree.
I think their marriage could've lasted. She would've gotten pregnant eventually and Dean was working pretty hard. The only issue was Rory. Instead of her encouraging Dean & Lindsey, she was using Dean as emotional support because she knew he still simped for her and she wasn't doing well at Yale her first year. She was insecure cause Jess ditched her and people weren't worshipping her at Yale. The second she gets confident again, she ditches Dean for Logan. It's amazing the way a marriage can collapse when you let people get involved. So the issue begins and ends with Rory. Sure Dean still had feelings for her, but he definitely wasn't trying to cheat. Rory kept calling him for help when she KNEW he was married. She could've at least gotten closer to Lindsey but she didn't even try. This is the moment that we realize just how conceited Rory is, when she cheats and says "he was my Dean first". Nobody gets that much praise all their life and doesn't become conceited. We can call Rory a covert narcissist. I don't really blame Rory tbh I blame the town. They needed to calm down overall, but I guess they felt bad cause she's fatherless. I think if Rory grew up in the city like Jess, she would have wayyy more potential, but the small town environment sheltered her too much.
i like how so much of this show is up to speculation about what characters said to each other "off screen." And there's no "off screen" because it's a TV show. It's really well made.
My thought is that Lindsay’s mom was a stay at home mom and now a housewife, so that’s what Lindsay is used to and what she grew up wanting. (I do not think there is any problem with this in itself. I also want to be a stay at home mom. I *want* to care for my family and my home. The difference is that I know I have to work hard until then so that we can financially make that happen. I don’t think Lindsay has an understanding of all the work that needs to be done to make those goals happen).
She was probably very sheltered from financial struggle conversations so I don’t think she has any reason to understand it now as a young wife. Those are things that should be discussed while dating and engaged, but neither her or Dean show signs that they are good at communicating like that in their marriage.
I agree that in terms of this marriage, the fault goes to Dean. Lindsay certainly has her own faults but Dean is the one who threw it all away.
Lindsay doesn’t get a lot of character in the show, but she seems mostly innocent and naive. I admire how hard she tried to be nice to Rory even though she was Dean’s ex. And I don’t think it was wrong at all for her to ask Dean not to talk to Rory after the incident in the grocery store. If I found out my husband was bad mouthing me and our marriage to his ex???? Helll no.
While yes she could have been less public with the outburst at Dean…I get it. I can’t imagine the heartbreak and rage to find out your husband has been cheating on you, especially after she’s clearly been bending over backwards to try to be the perfect wife for him.
Super interesting take and explanation! Thank you 😊 I always had my problems with the character of Dean...
There was an episode during the relationship with Rory and Dean that opened up about how Dean would like to have a housewife. To cook, clean, and maintain the house while Dean would be the only one to work. If I remember correctly, he said it was because he was raised like that in his family. So, it’s kinda ironic how you see Lindsay trying to be a housewife, however, Dean is complaining about Lindsay being a housewife.