4 Signs You're Repressive Coping, NOT Being Strong
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- Опубликовано: 9 сен 2024
- Repressive coping is a psychological defense mechanism that individuals may employ to manage and minimize feelings of anxiety, stress, or distressing emotions. It involves consciously or unconsciously avoiding or suppressing thoughts, memories, or emotions that are perceived as threatening or uncomfortable.
In the realm of mental health and psychology, it's vital to distinguish between being strong and repressively coping. In this video, we will be sharing four telltale signs that you might be engaging in repressive coping mechanisms to help you gain a deeper understanding of the impact on your mental well-being.
Let's raise awareness about mental health and unhealthy coping, empowering you to embrace healthier and more constructive ways of navigating life's challenges.
#mentalhealth #copingmechanism
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References
Attard, A. (2020). Repressing emotions: 10 Ways to reduce emotional avoidance. Positive Psychology. positivepsychology.com/repress-emotions/
Ertel, A. (2022). How to identify & release repressed emotions. Talkspace. www.talkspace.com/blog/repressed-emotions/
Garssen, B. (2007). Repression: Finding our way in the maze of concepts. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 30(6), 471-481. doi.org/10.1007%2Fs10865-007-9122-7
Patel J, Patel P. Consequences of Repression of Emotion: Physical Health, Mental Health and General Well Being. International Journal of Psychotherapy Practice and Research. 2019;1(3):16-21. doi:10.14302/issn.2574-612x.ijpr-18-2564.openaccesspub.org/ijpr/article/999.
Do you want to see more story format like this? Comment yes or no, so we know whether to keep making more of these or not.
Yes
I dunno i haven't watched the video yet (this reply is useless)
Yes
@@KopyErr Stop that. You can always edit it
Yes
0:21 PRETENDING
0:48 FATIGUE
2:51 EATING MY FEELINGS
3:30 STRUGGLING WITH INTIMACY AND LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS
Thank youuu!
@@MissKimberlyo no worries
Thanks you so much!
@@NateDoesYT Np
Thank you 😊
Has anyone ever tried to repress their emotions so much for so long. That you don't even know what is buried or even how to find it even if you wanted to fix it?
It's kinda like how I explained to my sister. You stay in the darkness trying to help others lost in the dark and next thing you know? You're lost in the dark yourself.
Your light has gone out, and all you see is shadows and don't know which ones wants to hurt you, list with you, or wants to help you.
And at the same time scared you might drag someone else into that darkness trapping them there as well. Psychoanalyzing myself can only go so far. I can't really remember my childhood and every time I try I get bad memories.
I dealt with this last year. Especially the first 3 points, I got sick all the time,whether that was a cold or flu or stomach troubles. I played video games a lot and ate lots of sweets, this only happened once but I lost it at a friend. My problem was that I felt like I wasn’t a nice person like every thing I did was secretly selfish and manipulative, I also struggled with dealing past pains. Because of the whole “someone always has it worse”, however, I learnt to validate my pain myself, being ok with telling myself that the shit thing I went through was indeed quite shit. I let go of so many burdens that now I have to figure out who I am without them. I’m not sure if happier, I’m just lost for the minute. I don’t know how to talk anymore, so many of my experiences feel like they’ve fallen to the void so I have to go out and make new ones. Ah well it is what it is
Feeling fake has always been on my mind. Like, if I wasn't sick mentally, would I be a different person? Does my illness make me a nice person,and if I was "normal", would I be different? I thought I was the only one to feel this way, since nobody talks about it.
@sinistertoday6712 Feeling guilty is a normal part of depression
@@kelleyk28Dr John Campbell has just done a video about depression and went through the questions on how to evaluate it.🖖
Oh I understand that...that's exactly the way I feel now and well even if I try to focus my mind on other things and supress it by ignoring it in the end those thoughs come again and I just can't deal with them now seriously...I just think on one thing which is isolate myself and deal with it on my own but I just don't know what I can do now...
@@n33260 I think the biggest thing for me was learning how to validate my pain by myself. I don't know how I learnt how just one day it clicked. You'll get through it, everyone makes it in their own way. I tried staying busy but there is always a calm in the night that will show you, your darker thoughts. Some people will have worse but if you keep going down that path you just end up at dead people. Its pointless looking at the world that way.
I also talked to people after I acknowledged that the shit I've been through sucked. People that I trusted, I didn't look for validation I looked for guidance. Every one has their own solutions to the same problem.
1 last thing I've deal with a lot of passive aggressive people so I learned to be straight up. Stop taking shit, don't let yourself be put in the middle ground by anyone. Its hard but make sure you stand up for yourself.
I hope at least something here helps. Stay strong, stay loose.
1 Healthy coping skill I use: I find music that makes me feel something, that I relate to, but I don’t dwell on them for too long. It’s more of a release and expressing those feelings I cant identify on my own.
Back in 2009, as a child, i tended to do something like this, where i would keep my emotions inside and show almost no negative ones (not allowed to). But in 2018, after multiple things and multiple pressures during my senior year, this teaches me to become numb to 90% of all my emotions.
I went through the same thing. I eventually couldn't even care or feel panic towards my grades in senior year. Everything felt so numb. Turned out I developed major depression
@@saidrew1030 yeah, and a narcissistic parent with that as well, ugh
@@saidrew1030 also, i only really experienced calm & anxiety, rarely sad and mad at that time
My dad passed away this year and I feel like I relate to this video a lot.
I wish you and your family healing moving forward.
I’m so sorry ml :( may he rest in peace. Please take care of yourself.
I'm definitely gonna have to come back to this vid in the near future. Things have been so complicated ever since my mom died last month and it's just getting more and more complicated with each passing week. I really wanna make sure that my family and I can get through this and that we're stronger for it, but I don't think everyone's handling it in the best way, including myself.
Same, my mom passed 5 years ago and I can relate a lot I wish my family was closer and my dad wouldn't be dating almost all the time even when I'm at my lowest.
my condolences
I'm truly sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. Grieving is a unique journey, and I wish you the strength to navigate through this challenging time. Take care of yourself and your family. The video will be here whenever you're ready, and in the meantime, sending you comfort and support.
@@Psych2go thank you so much. I'm doing what I can but had a pretty severe episode on Thanksgiving. Unfortunately a lot of other things have gone wrong since then so my brother and sister are unable to help with all the work that needs to be done, and balancing that with my mental health has been extremely hard. I want to make it through this though.
I understand 😢
🙏🕊🙏
Damn, the fact that I can actually relate to a great majority of these is pretty scary. Yesterday I had a pretty big argument with my *uncle*, and I got so pissed of that I just ended up cussing him out. For 17 years, I've been subjected to so many different things that over time I just found myself being sad all the time. Even in situations where I was expected to show some postivity. Man...
I listen to ASMR everyday. It's my way of escaping reality and be "tranfered" to a better world. One where I'm not considered evil for existing and that there is someone who loves me and wants to protect me from the evilness of the world. I know it isn't real, but it feels real to me, because it feels like this is what the world should be.
I used to be very bad at handling my negative feelings and I even got depression from all the repressed emotions. Thanks to therapy I learned step by step how to process my emotions properly. It still doesn't work very well, but I'm getting better at it with every session. In recent times this truly has changed the way I think about myself.
One of my healthy coping mechanisms is doing art. Now, I personally have a variety that I can turn to (My philosophy is that art is anything you do to express yourself with, especially since art is such is a versatile field at its core. Why not immaculate that and celebrate what makes you who you are by doing what you love? That in itself is a beautiful art form.), but lately, I've been making coasters with my trauma triggered findings of my talent of sewing. It has helped me, and the last one I made wasnt entirely perfect, but I gave it to my grandmum and she loves it. I'm proud of it too, since I'm the one that made it. Sure it has mistakes, but I have a firm belief that our past is the teacher of the future, as what we know now has been shaped by what we learned when we didn't know it then. That is what truly defines our present. So even as I make mistakes, I want to keep making them and keep learning. For all who is reading this, learn a lot from my wisdom (but please don't use it without credit!). I have a strong hope that it helps you! 🥰
@zivadinozzo5719 I have loads of colouring books that I use to make cards for family birthdays. All different mediums for art except a jelly plate. I bought books on curing myself of auto Immune disorders. I bought stuff to make jewelry. I bought the gear to do patchwork. I have all the gear to do my recycling and sewing that I planned. It's just too much trouble to sit up and I can't get myself off my phone. and to bed at a sensible time.
Reminds me of my situation which I went to therapy about. As a kid, I was accidentally taught by some well meaning adults that all emotions were bad. Negative emotions were always bad, and if I showed a positive emotion to something, it'd be used as leverage to do some task I didn't want to. So I put on a front all the time to be the perfect human to other people. I would repress my own wants and opinions. I'd enjoy spending lots of time to myself as social situations were exhausting and felt out of my control. But most of the time I felt there was nothing wrong. I couldn't date for anything, but I thought I was just missing out on some secret. Turns out that one I became more radically honest, people liked me for me. And it was easier. Always grateful for my therapist for showing me that it's okay to be myself instead of trying to always be perfect.
You are capable of outgrowing this mindset. I was a child of neglect and loveless, but does not mean I’m not capable of it. After having my own family and child, I fully understand what real love is, with understanding that… I am able to understand what negativity is and other human emotions.
You just have to outgrow your mentality and evolve in your emotional intelligence. Meaning “Mind over matter.”❤
I rarely let my emotions surface, mostly I keep a straight face at all times. Even I got triggered by the example of drawing and someone bumping into the table. I wouldn't burst out at them, I would just surpress that anger and say myself it's fine I do this for everything. Then next thing I can relate was, surpressing the pain; Video games, Netflix and Work and keeping friendships or making new ones is absolutely the most difficult thing for me. I am very friendly but I struggle of opening up to people, I either overshare and scare others off or I don't share anything and don't show interested at all. Which in the end I have made a conclusion or decision to myself, I won't make new friends, because I'm fine on my own.
Which probably means, I have some problems but I refuse to face them or surpress and distract myself from life
Would you say you are counter-dependent?
Counter-dependency: Counter-dependents lack trust in others and fear the consequences of doing so. They resist asking for help, even when it is reasonable to do so, and seek to be completely self-reliant.
Counterdependency is the state of refusal of attachment, the denial of personal need and dependency,
This is definitely me. I struggled to find the words on how describe what I got through and you've acomplished this. Truly, Thank you and Wishing the best for you.
I used to repress my emotions a lot. I became very numb emotionally and it took a very long time for me to feel living again and not just going through the motions like a robot
I'm glad to hear that you've been able to reconnect with your emotions. If you're comfortable sharing, what strategies or steps did you find helpful in overcoming the repression, and how has it positively impacted your life?
damn...how much time it can take?
This is exactly topic I was looking for,just didn't have the words to explain it,I've been repressing my emotions for too long for the fear of feeling those negative emotions and falling back into a deep depression,how can you love yourself if you feel unloved🥲
I like the example with pushing a ball under water for comparing it with negative emotions.
When it pops up over water, it really hurts. I think many many people out there have this situation going on.
Journaling, spoken word free flow expression, dancing, singing, walking in nature, meditation, learning about something new that I’ve wanted to online for free or paying for a course. Finding my voice, feeling the ground, sharing with a trusted friend…allowing feelings to arise without judgement (takes time to bring awareness and compassion)--practicing mindfulness. When I’m feeling good, write a list of all the favourite things that I love to do that are physical or if I can’t be physical for any reason such as a disability, then finding things that I love to do that are non-physical, such as some of the examples above.
Investing in myself and breaking multigenerational patterns was the number one reason I decided to begin the journey as a teen.
I’ve been through a lot, had no support and knew without anyone telling me that I couldn’t possibly be OK. I felt numbed out and had no clue where to start so I just started. Eventually more and more opportunities to learn more tools to navigate my feelings when I found out I had a right to have , my own life doesn’t matter where you start as long as you get started. Doesn’t matter how old you are as long as you want to do some thing you can do it and you can find a way.
Thanks for the video I really appreciate it.❤
I'm deeply moved by your thoughtful response and the strength and resilience you've shown in your journey. Your commitment to investing in yourself, breaking multi generational patterns, and exploring various tools for self-expression and well-being is truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing a part of your journey, sending you love❤
@@Psych2go thank you very much from my heart for your kind support. I appreciate how you share information that empowers and equips us with knowledge from a heart-centred perspective. I’m very pleased to support your work as your decision to dedicate your time, knowledge and resources has helped more people than any of us will ever know. Much love and respect, always ❤️ Thank You
To be flawed is to be human. Being transparent / honest with oneself can lead to a better social presentation with others.
At the moment I'm going through a painful breakup, it's a complicated situation since she and I still love each other and make each other happy, but can't be together because our own mental issues make us toxic. I want to get better for her and I know she's trying her best too! Still, it's hard, really hard. I'm feeling better and stronger than before, as if my mind has grown a lot lately, but sometimes I'm afraid I get a little too possitive... Thanks to this kind of content that adresses issues like this one is that we can teach ourselves to stay balanced and identify when things are getting out of hand, keep the good job!
This...This! All points just rung with me! Been constantly tired to the point of believing it is fatigue. Constantly trying to repress emotions while trying to disconnect with them. Then the long term friendships...Only ever managed to keep two friends for longer than a year whereas others went without a word or decided to attack. Gotten so used to pushing back to negativity that I can assist my friends through theirs. Using video games and chocolate to help escape the pain but sometimes that pain kicks up and physically hurts a lot. If therapy becomes a possibility, taking that chance instead of paying attention to any signs for the long term before guessing. Like depression and anxiety. Noticed them years ago but only when the pandemic started did things worsen rapidly.
This video is finding me at the right time I feel.
My mom is getting sick once again with cancer and I feel like I'm in a serious state of denial. I'm very far away from her because of work. I feel very alone, very sad and always tired. I'm trying to cope by denying it's real. I don't talk about how I feel to anyone because I'm either not listened or it could be used against me. These days, my only way to escape is to sleep and even that doesn't feel like a solution either. I go to sleep for 8 hours and wake up as if I didn't sleep at all. I'm very irritable with the person that care about me. And I shut down when people tell me about their problem cause honestly I feel like mines are bigger right now.
Anyway, thanks for this video.
I guess it's time to accept my situation.
I feel like love, in my own opinion, is showing yourself the same love you give to others. I’ve never gotten love from someone else so I’m working towards accepting myself, flaws and all, completely so I won’t have to depend on someone else to fill that void I have within myself. That looks like me trying to nurture and love on my depression, my anger, my anxiety, all of those negative emotions that other ppl don’t know how to handle. I’m noticing I enable so many ppl and allow them to hurt me bcs that’s all I’ve known how to do. It’s my responsibility to take accountability every single day, even on the days I don’t want to, to choose myself and show myself I matter even when I don’t feel worthy. I try to take time out of my day to talk to myself, to hug myself, to talk kindly to myself and figure out who I truly am, flaws and all, and still choose to love all the aspects of myself. I already bully myself enough in my head on a daily so I try my best to at least take up to an hour a day to try and talk to myself like I would if I was trying to encourage a close friend so that I can feel just as important as I make other ppl feel. Even when I don’t want to do that I still choose to love myself bcs I know no one else will love me like how I can ever love myself.
Timestamps
1). Fatigue 0:49
2). Volcanic activity 1:55
3). Eating my feelings 2:51
4). Struggling with intimacy and long term relationships 3:26
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Repressive coping is something I did as a kid well into my 20s - because I had to be in survival mode for so many reasons - and it helped me survive the worst possible conditions. I am thankful for it - but I don't need it anymore. So, I have to say, unlearning this coping mechanism is the best thing to happen to my health. Being vulnerable isn't comfortable for me always, but I am so much healthier because of it. Identifying and letting emotions flow is the best decision I made for myself. Wishing everyone so much happiness.
Yes, this resonates with me. My therapist has been helping me with my PTSD and anxiety and feeling my feelings. Repressing my feelings drained me more than expressing my feelings. Which I’m still working on.
What brings me positivity is playing videos games that i enjoy playing or receiving support from friends and loved ones or mentally and emotionally relying and being dependent on others for support 😢❤
Can you point me to a video about whatever the hell I have?
I find it hard to understand and show negative emotions, instead of handling them and dealing with them, I push them to the side and get ready for tomorrow. I haven’t cried since forever unless it’s due to extreme pain in the physical manner or I’m watching a movie, other than that, frustration and sadness is only shown when I break….when I break first against walls, when I break my face because I can get the tears out….I can’t get that pain out, you have a video that can help point in the right direction? Turtle out 🐢
How did you comment 4 months ago!? XD are u a time traveller!?
How th did you comment 4 months ago
Yo me 2
FREAKING TIME TRAVELER
@@Clown234-k1p magic ✨
I only started repressing my feelings 3 years ago. How i handled my emotions before was healthy, but after suffering a trauma related to my parents, it's been hard to be my true genuine self again.
I have no trouble telling people what's going on, but when there's no escape from what's causing the issues, it gets difficult. I've repressed a lot of things because around people who just disregard it and tell you to just work harder, which one can only do so much, and feeling like I'm on a hamster wheel just running and not able to catch up. My coping mechanisms are exercise, music, and my pets. My mother has been stressful since it's like no matter what I say, it's always I'm not doing enough, or I'm doing something wrong, and if anything is different from what she thinks or believes, then suddenly I'm disrespectful because I apparently do not know anything since she's a parent....despite me being 35 years old..and having my own life, personality, and dreams. It's like she's trying to make me be like her, or is concerned I'm going to be like her, or is putting her repressed triggers and honestly feel narcissistic thinking onto me, so I will just be miserable like she is.
0:49 - Fatigue
1:56 - Volcanic activity
3:27 - Struggling with anxiety and long-term relationships
Oh and the animation style is wonderful! 💙
These used to happen to me all the time. Especially the volcanic activity. It would get to the point where I would keep my feelings down and bottle them up because I didn't want to be seen as problematic like my brother who was dealing with a lot of severe mental health issues. I didn't want my parents to have to deal with my problems, too. So I would use repressive coping to keep the facade up, but it would often explode when I couldn't keep it down anymore. This started back in grade school and I'm in my 30's now and currently struggling with anxiety and depression. I used to "cope" with alcohol, but I've been sober for almost 2 years now. But a way of coping with them that I've found, believe it or not, is crying. When I'm about to have an anxiety attack, I run to a private place and let it happen as long as it needs to, which involves a lot of crying. Then I take a hit from my inhaler to help with the breathing issues that comes with a flood of that much emotion so it's easier to calm down once I've cried as much as I need to. That helps with the anxiety. As for the depression, if I've been in a depressive episode that I haven't been able to shake for a few days, I'll go home and watch a movie or listen to a song that makes me cry every time no matter what mood I'm in. I've come to realize that the numbness of depression or being drunk hurts more than the feelings of sadness that comes from watching something or listening to something to make myself cry.
This video has let me view my life from a new perspective. Over my short time my life has come to so far, I have been told to always hide my emotions since I am a guy, and “why can’t you do better?”. Not only that, but my peers also have lowered my self esteem. They didn’t say things that were very serious to me, but it was always the small things, like saying that I am annoying, or trying to keep me out of stuff. All of this just keeps building up, and now, I believe that after watching this video, I can maybe come up with a strategy to cope.
Hm yeah, I can relate to most of those points. I've known it for quite some time, been working on my capacity to feel feelings. However, some flashbacks are just too overwhelming so I'll numb myself...
Although my being tired constantly is most definitely self inflicted, brought about and stemming from an insurmountable amount of guilt, anguish, & pain.
I will definitely say that I can & do relate to all 4 topics... with my head held low, Im honestly thinking....SPOT-ON!!!! 😢😢😢
“It is what it is” that phrase has saved me so much time and money from therapy or psychiatric treatment
Literally everything is what it is. It's like a meta-tautology.
Also, "i heal when i put my mind to something". Saw this title on a 1 hr playlist. I felt a whole lot lighter when I'm about to quit my job because of mistakes from problems concentrating and short term memories
That phrase irks me so badly, I get angry every time I hear it. Idk why.
Phase? I’ve been living like this for years, what’s wrong with it anyways?
Ive repressed so much for so long on a daily basis that I am terrified of negative emotions. I know the last time I failed to repress them I ended up in a deep dark place. I lost my everyone and everything.
I didnt surface for several months... and that was pure luck...
I dont know what to do. But i can feel those emotions overwhelmingly trying to launch back out of the water
Bro I swear the timing of this vid is scary like it released right on time
A healthy coping strategy i have found to help me quite a lot is writing. Not necessary journaling (even though I do journal) I mean writing in the sense of books or poetry. It's only way that I know how to express myself without feeling afraid
I definitely did this for years of my life. I’m Autistic and dealt with horrible special ed teachers and one of them made me hide who I was and would threaten things like making me stay in at recess if I didn’t comply. Because of her, I felt like I had to be nothing but positive for YEARS. Like, I would pretend to get excited about reading time, even though I HATED it because she humiliated me by making me read out loud with her while everyone else read silently. I would pretend to get excited about pretty much anything about school cuz I really wanted her to just show me respect, but I never got it out of her. She also told me that everyone would prefer it if I was this person who she wanted me to be, so I even pretended to be excited about school stuff when she wasn’t there. I had a REALLY hard time making friends and even if I did make a friend, I would hear them tell others their friends’ names and I never made the lists. That broke my heart. And another thing I remember about those dark years was that I had a hard time being specific about things like movies I liked or stores I shopped at and I had a hard time saying people’s names cuz whenever I did that in the past, that SE teacher would just shoot me down, even if I wasn’t talking to her but someone else. I also remember smiling all the time cuz I didn’t wanna be negative and people thought I was always happy, but I really wasn’t. I feel like this time ended when I got to high school and found a friend group that I genuinely enjoyed spending time with and who genuinely enjoyed spending time with me, and they made me feel like I could be more open about who I was as a person. But later on, my brain had started to realize that it had been through trauma, so it started sending me more signals to overreact to things and I finally started throwing fits at school and standing up to another bad SE teacher, which did feel kinda good, but it took a toll on me. Right now, I’m in college and I still feel like I have to muster up courage to talk about movies, but I know that people will actually enjoy talking about movies with me. I’ve also realized that the horrible SE teacher had only taken the job for a power trip and probably didn’t have any self respect, so she decided to hurt disabled kids. So if you want to take a job like a special ed teacher, please don’t only take it for a power trip. Take it because you genuinely want to help those kids and it makes you feel good to spend time with them and watch them grow.
Another side note: I remember the summer before my freshman year, I had a summer reading assignment where I had to read 5 books before school. I had a dream about when I was back at school and didn’t have it done, so I realized that I needed to get on it. Luckily, it was still the beginning of summer so I had plenty of time. Anyways, as I was reading those books, I developed a reading stamina, so I genuinely enjoy reading now
This hit right where it hurts.
And I'm not even joking.
Very helpful. I have been eating to cope. I find great satisfaction and healing from tap-ping, as taught by Dr. Roger Callahan, but I am lonely. I was watching a guy on youtube called Rocky who rescues dogs in Hawaii., made me cry. I didnt want to rescue dogs, I wanted to rescue people, they can rescue the dogs. Most of all I want to rescue me. I feel better. Thank you.
I was in a depressive slump for over 7 years and i have only now recently started to get better. And i won't lie, sometimes i do "relapse" if i can call it that and each time it's just worse and worse. I have this problem where i genuinely believe that someone will always have it worse than me but this is because in my childhood none of my feelings were ever validated so I'd rather push everything away and help other people than help myself. It's really really difficult at times. I don't always believe that I deserve to cry or feel sad but lately i have gotten this motto that if you want to cry than just fricken cry and it is becoming easier for me to express my emotions but a lot of the times i still find myself isolating everything or just going to the go-to "I'm fine".
I can relate to you a lot. Since childhood I was always told that someone have it worse than me. When i tried to talk to my parents about it they will always say that i was a kid that i shouldn't have things to worry about and they should be the ones complaining and feeling stressed because they were adults with so much responsibilities. I get it, being and udult is not easy and everything feels so stressing, but that doesn't invalidate the pain i felt as a kid. I guess my parents just didn't understand. They are not bad parents but they hurt me without knowing it. During so many years I started to internalise their words towards me and i started to believe my feelings weren't worth it. I got so used to neglect my feelings and invalidate them and i forgot why i started to do it. I always told myself that someone had it worse until i was the one who was at worst. In my mind i didn't really knew how much i was hurting but my body knew. I started to feel so much pain all over my body due to these bottled up and neglected feelings. I was really tired all the time without energy to do anything. The exaustion i felt was so profound that it didn't go away for moths. My family started to worry so much about me because i was feeling pain in literally every part of my body and really bad headaches and migranes so they took me to the doctor. I was diagnosed with something called Fibromyalgia. It's really complex condition, and sometimes it's hard to understand it myself. I discovered after going to therapy and taking time to care about myself that it was mostly because i was so stressed and no one took me seriously before when i told them how i felt and that led me to this. But for me the worst part was believing them and let them make me feel ashamed about my feelings and negative emotions towards the things that were bothering me. So i told myself it wasn't that bad and i had to be strong. Everything has a breaking point so i do. I had such a mental breakdown that left me in bed during months. That gave me time to reflect on my emotions and everything that just happened. I was so stressed because school. They were so strict and the overload was awful. I think that was the last straw. After so many years of hearing that what was happening to me wasn't that bad , from my parents and even from the principal of my highschool after going to her office to talk to her about all the work that the school was giving us. I really believed i was okay that wasn't true. It's sad that i had to go through all this to really understand what was going on inside me, but i ceirtanly don't regret anything, except not having realized all these things before. If it wasn't for that i would have continued to behave in the same way and cope with things in the same way (which wasn't really okay). To really heal you have to be honest with yourself and accept you. Think about yourself and your emotions from your perspective. The rest of the people is not feeling the same thing as you, they can try to understand you but no one else will understand you as you do and that's because you have your version of the story and you know exactly how bad or good things can feel in your own mind and body. It's hard to see through all of this because we have to face all those uncomfortable or embarrassing feelings. But after accepting them you will be able to understand yourself better, your situation and act upon them. I know it's hard I used to hide my feelings from myself. I felt so uncomfortable with other people knowing my feelings and seeing me cry. I did it so much that i started to feel so much hatred towars vulnerability, vulnerability in me, and also in others. I didn't like when people see me cry and i felt embarrassed when they cried to. I literally started to despise everyone that seemed to emotional or open. I realized that i felt like that because i also hated the vulnerability within myself. But after so many things that i went through i learnt that i have to be the person to pick me up. Sometimes we unconsciously wait for someone/something to change us, to save us. I don't deny the fact that some poeple can heal through relationships but this is not always the case, and ultimately you are always the one who decide to change, you're the one that decides to heal not the other person. They might motivate you or maybe they made you realize some things but you are the one who decide to heal. No one can force a person to heal or change. The own will of the lerson is going to always win.
The best way you can help yourself is trying to understand you. Be your shoulder to lean on and be that person that will always listen you. No one is going to sit for you and process your emotions, you have to do it and you have to accept them. Accepting your emotions and thoughts not necessarily mean that you are okay them but it means that you acknowledge their existence and let the shame about them go away knowing that you are a human and you can make mistakes. Knowing what is happening within you is key to heal. You have to learn to accept your emotions. Remember that you are not the people who neglected you and you shouldn't neglect yourself. Even if you think someone feels worse than you that doesn't make your pain go away. Even that person that is worse than you has someone who's worse than them.
I really recomend you to start journaling it can be really helpful. It can make your feelings and thoughts feel more consistent so it's easier for you to see them and reflect upon them. And writing them down helps you to embrace them (even those shameful thoughts because they are there and they are a part of what you're feeling). Just remember that it's just you that is going to see that.
It can be hard to start reflecting upon those emotions more if they come with hurtful memories but accepting them (therefore accepting yourself) is the start of the healing journey.
Hope this helps you!
And remember to be honest with yourself. If you don't feel comfortable with telling other people your emotions is okay (of course sometimes you will be in a situation were you have to comunicate them) but don't ever lie to yourself. The most painful lies are the ones we tell ourselves.
I relate to this, whenever I lash out I just can’t stop myself from stopping. I think it’s cause the things that make me angry in the moment I can’t really show because I think it’s not right and I should not be feeling like this. But I find that even when a lot of time has passed from that moment I still get very very angry from it. I want to say and point it out to those around me but I think it’s rude so I just write down whatever makes me pissed in my scribble book which is where I scribble all the stuff that happened and what I want to say to that person that caused for me to be angry.
This was fully me for sure. The depression and 2 anxieties are not related but yes letting my emotions exists has been a huge struggle. I had a psychiatrist who I saw over about 10yrs+ but the end he said there was nothing more he could help with but if I needed to talk his door was open. Then my ex started seeing him and I no longer have that option but I feel I am slowly changing for the better after finding true love for once. The difference is like night and day but I am trying my best.
this is me and i do not have control over the issue i have. Theres no moving past it. I know what i need to do to end the suffering
I betrayed two of my bestfriends who hate each other by spilling each other's scerets out...and i did in order to make them friends by sympathy.. they're so pissed about it .. I'm flipping things... I'm slowly starting to realise that I am the bad person..i feel really guilty... I can't face anyone ..i hate going to school at this point.. I can't vent out about this to anyone.. I'm feeling suppressed
Communication is the most important way to get through anything. It's tough, though, if the other people around you aren't in the same place you are with coping. Or if they deflect everything back on to you.
Hi, thanks for the video! Though I'm still not sure, but I do resonate with some of the signs you've mentioned. I mean, I know I'm not okay and I do tell people that life hasn't been exactly easy for quite some time, but maybe the way I behave or the way I explained things to them was so fact-oriented that most people think I'm doing better than I made it out to be.
I have this tendency to detach myself from any kind of emotions whenever I felt a surge of them coming to me, whether it's good like joy and excitement or bad like sorrow, anger and disappointment. As the result, worse problems make me shut down my emotions and try to think logically to solve my way out of the situation, but then at that moment I lack the capacity to include my emotional state as variable in my troubleshooting attempt and fail to do the 'logical' thing because of that miscalculation and that makes me feel even worse and the cycle goes on until someone noticed I'm in trouble and tried to solve the problem together with me, giving me inputs that I will never be able to come up with if I do that alone.
I'm still trying to find a better problem-solving habit than just 'think for a solution logically and just do your best to do it' or maybe not shutting down my emotion instinctively in such situation.
A really good movie to help visualize this is Inside Out, it's a very beautiful movie that has helped me understand your emotions and teaches you that it's okay to not be okay, and that expressing the emotions is better than repressing them. If you haven't seen it, I suggest giving it a watch!
Heard it was good. Wanted to watch it. Thanks for reminding me.
I just wanna say you are so brave for sharing something so personal, i know there are some people who will do some heavy reflecting after watching this
I watch these vids and learn a lot. Thank you🙏🏼
OTOH, I’m here, and not in therapy. Why? Because therapy is not an option for the poor. Especially if you are male in our society, and have no child dependents. Regardless of a male’s health status, we are “supposed” to be able to do basic labor and work if nothing else. Double standards everywhere. 🤷🏼 so yeah… most of us watching free vids with psych info, are doing the only therapy option open to us.
For me, there are SO MANY traumas and broken relationships that I cannot reasonably expect any other kind. Never knew any other kind. Better to be alone.
It just seems so crazy... How are you suposed to know that bad emotions are not... Well, bad? Without anyone telling you, i mean. This is what i would like to see when they come to the school to make a "talk"
The timing couldn't have been better
See, the biggest thing about this is the facet that 99% of everything said in these videos I relate to in some way. It’s like trying to self diagnose yourself by googling your symptoms. On the other hand, I can’t afford therapy. So everything I see in these videos I have to just assume it’s a coincidence.
We need more people like you ❤
This is exactly what I’m going through right now and I don’t know how to deal with it cause I feel like I can’t talk to anyone and it’s gotten so bad that I forget how I feel when I’m with someone like a robot rebooting
Yeah. I relate to all of these. I’m working on a pitch for an animated universe and that makes me feel amazing. Makes me feel like myself again.
Animated universee? My interest is picked
@@IkerTG Been working on it since I was five. I’m scared because now it seems like it could be…real…like my dream could really come true and I’m not just a kid thinking up all this stuff. Now it’s my responsibility as an adult to make that little kid’s dream a reality. And admittedly it’s…scary.
@@yasianproductiontales8640 that's so cool, is like animated series? Or like fighting scenes? Or both? Wanna know more
@@yasianproductiontales8640 i have something similar but just the idea, i don't really like to draw so i guess my undertale AU is not happening soon jajaj
@@IkerTG It’s both and more. I have a universe-well multiverse-expansive enough to rival Star Wars and even more character driven than the MCU. And now it’s just about taking one step. Starting with my flagship character and taking it from there.
The first 3 have certainly been subtle for me, thank you
This video helped me a lot. And ive discovered that Ive most likely being doing this as well. Almost every point you've said, I have done.
Thank you for being open and honest and being a huge inspiration :)
I'm living with terminal cancer, and the people in my community don't even know I'm sick, because I'm always acting like I'm okay. I hate it!
I’ve dealt with this my whole life but…to be fair…I’ve been punished for any negative feeling or expression since I was a child. I can deal with others’ fairly well so long as it isn’t an intended attack, and I can acknowledge mine to a degree, but my old ones…no. Or any other Long Term ones, even when they actively make existing chronic or mental health illnesses worse and clearly aren’t going anywhere and even cause sinus infections in addition to episodic migraines&worse.
…I do have friends’ parents calling me on this now since…while I’ve made Some progress working with a therapist and other professionals…that’s…not helping that feeling of drowning when several things trigger me at once. Or the panic attacks when I just…don’t want this family seeing me like this. I’m terrified I’ll drag them down with me. I’m also wanting to snap at them and demand to know WHY they even care at all (when no one else irl vs my online support system ever has or has consistently.) But…I don’t want to express anger, even if I can’t hide my distress. So I just…shut down. Nod along. And it’s clear they’re well aware that’s what I’m doing but at least acknowledge there’s only so far they can push me about it.
How I deal with my dad's death is, that I just consciously don't
When he died, that evening my body just shut down the emotions, and actually forced my face to grin the next day. I tried so hard to repress it, but interestingly I just couldn't and I lost the battle, breaking out into grins
I haven't heard much about that coping mechanism, but it is striking
Since then, sometimes I would feel sad but I dont consciously notice any change in emotion, I'm just numb to it
I do sometimes making jokes about it, and people make jokes about their trauma as a way to 'cope' (even tho it's a bad way cuz you're kinda distancing yourself from it), but I do it despite allegedly not feeling anything. A bit strange
I did realise some subtle things that changed, such as none of my characters in my drawings looking happy. Even if their mouth was happy their eyebrows were furrowed.
Once, I tried making one actually look happy. They didn't look actually happy, just rather flatly pulling the expression, but then when I made the character one of my favourite RUclipsrs who's really happy and goofy with the same expression, then the bursts and complexities of happiness, cheekyness, joy, all that stuff came through in the drawing. Even though I didn't change the emotions.
Also I do feel happy and sad and excitement and stuff, so it's not like I'm projecting how I feel onto the characters. Maybe frustration from other stuff in my life, but I don't really feel the frustration most the time
Another thing I noticed was that my choice of clothes changed, from bright bold and light colours to dark colours, to eventually black. I don't know if that was a side effect of the death or if it was just me growing, since he died when i was 13 and I'm now currently 15.
I don't know if there was any other things I didn't notice
I prolly went off topic but I don't really think I'm coping, because there doesn't seem to be any emotion to cope for
I mean there definitely is some emotion somewhere, but I'm just not conscious of how im bothered by it much
Maybe not noticing how it's affecting me, or just nothing about it is affecting me and the other life changes caused by it are the thing affecting me instead, but that's not likely really
Thankyou for sharing x I found saying a mantra helps me+ that is ...if u can't emotionize or u can't just physicalize, hope u understand but now wen I'm in void thought I just walk gym or swim + it makes me feel more proactive positively for me+ my mood is changed, TC x
people seeing through my fake happiness is my biggest fear and id never talk to some sort of fed like a therapist
These days I try to speak what is my mind and heart but still find it hard to say what I really want.
Sometimes I feel like I want to cry but I slip up sometimes with a little tears
Why your voice is sweet and comfortable😭😭😭 it's making me sleepy
Since when I have subscribed the channel i get myself educated about me and a mental or psychological health a lot
This channel added a lot of value in my life
Thankyou ❤😊
I have seen the third sign in me like numberous times. I feel so angry and sad but then I eat my feelings, suppress them so that I dont feel guilty of hurting someone later.
This is a perfect description of my ex boyfriend, whom i've been with for a year (+1 year as extremely close friends).
I watched him shut down, leave when negative topics were discussed (or answer the likes of "i don't know"), bury himself in videogames and silence. He ended up dumping me because i was unable to understand him and help him, and he would refuse any kind of help anyway. That made me anxious and overly protective, and he hated it. I wish i could send him this video, but i know he would just not watch it or call it bs. I still love him and care for him and i hope he'll understand some day.
kinda annoyed the algorithm didn't show me this when it releasesd... I needed it
Its funny you shoukd say that. Ive been exactly here the past few days.
1) i love this video format. Its nice.
2) im recoverying from the *good girl* upbringing and food def became and still is a unhealthy comfort thing at times.
3) thanks for sharing part of your stories
I'm glad you enjoyed the video format and found the content relatable. Wishing you strength and positivity on your journey of recovery and self-discovery!
Im really sorry for this i've been seeing these videos when i don't feel good to make myself cry by seeing them and relating to them and it actually works to help to let out my emotions because i've been suppressing my emotions since i was a kid when i didn't even knew about these things because of my surrounding that kept telling me that crying is a bad thing you shouldn't cry you are weak and all and i dont want them to think im weak i used to think im strong because with all these pains that i've been dealing with since i was 6 years old (im about to get 18 now) i've fought all those thoughts, emotions all by myself no one to talk to about these shits and no one by my side i used to think that im strong because i was able to handle all these things plus i used to manage my academic grades, my sports, my life very professionally without anyone's help i used to think that im really very strong but this video helped me realized that im not strong and its ok to be weak but also whenever i try to be myself and wanted to cry out loud they just shut me up saying oh yeah she's a girl she is weak to cry like this in public and my tears my emotions just fades and thats how im not able to cry now properly i never wanted to supress my feelings but because of them i came at this point that i .. i can't even cry when i feel like i dont know how to explain this but this really hurts like idk ...i've never really talked about these things so i dont really know how to communicate or explain these things but honestly this really hurts its even hard to breathe sometimes
And when i try to tell about these things to someone they always say like oh she just wants attention thats why she is making up stories and she just wants sympathy she is weak and all ... i hate hearing these things so thats why i prefer not to talk about this but here i am saying all these things because i dont know why this place feels a bit safe to me ...
I don't want any sympathy truely i just need someone to listen to me just listen to me i've got too many shits in my head and i just wanna talk about them trust me im not doing this for sympathy or anything like that i swear....
We are stronger togther than we could ever be alone a quote to always rember
Thank you for making this video. I needed to hear it.
This was really valuable, thanks for sharing!
I want be Happy before every time i wll going to sleep to feel the gratitude for living and experiencing❤
I feel like in some form I may have been dissociated or disconnected because the amount of things I don’t know about myself is creepy and when I thought I did, I didn’t I am not prepared for the world and I would pretend that things are fine to the point. I thought It was just natural. So disconnected half the time I didn’t know how I physically felt. Sleep 0 happy I didn’t go longer that way and found a friend since 0 is not good for you made me realize a lot now need a professional cool vid 🌸
I'VE been in pain ...bcoz of my relationship with a manipulator recently I've recognised their behaviour and now i ended up with him recently.. I'm feeling free with my stress and irritation ...i sure im gonna do better without him in my life and i wish happiness for everyone who is reading this,.. and at last i hope I'll be happy with me
I definitely identify with a lot of this video. I've been working constantly, taking classes at the same time. I'm barely home, I dant communicate with people to the point that my family is essentially disowning me. It's so much easier to be by myself and just deal with things on my own. I know I should be upset with it, but it's easier to be indifferent.
Thank you for this video,your video and what you talk about warms my heart and I have been through a lot these years but I remember to keep the past away and my friends at school talk about a lot of bad thing but I tell them I don't want to talk about it I just want to have fun with my family, friends,and my therapist❤❤😊
I did this and I still do but now I'm aware and willing to know more about the things holding me back from being healthy.
I see some of these traits in my best friend. I really wanna show him this video, but I don't want him to feel talked down to. Still, I wanna be a supportive friend who shows care if something seems wrong.
You may just provide a general introduction to the channel, allowing your friend the freedom to explore content at their own pace. This way, they might come across the specific video that addresses their concerns without feeling singled out. It's a great way to share valuable resources without putting any pressure.
This is a video that just opened my eyes. Thank you
“Sometimes we’re fractured by the choices we make; sometimes we’re shattered by things we would never have chosen. But our brokenness is also the source of our common humanity, the basis for our shared search for comfort, meaning, and healing. Our shared vulnerability and imperfection nurtures and sustains our capacity for compassion.”
- Bryan Stevenson
“The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world.”
- Paul Farmer
“To be optimistic is to assume things will work out. To be hopeful is to realize things can work out if you work at them. Hope requires responsibility and agency; optimism relieves us of both. In rooting for your sports team, choose optimism. In rooting for democracy, choose hope.”
- Eric Liu
thank you for making this video! I have every symptom and watching this really helps!
You're very welcome! Take care of yourself.
Well, I repress positive emotions. I’m in love with one of my best friends and I told her this (eventually). She didn’t feel the same way, which I already had known from the start, since she had a closer relationship with SO many others. It’s been a while since I told her and now we’ve started to hang out more again in different ways. The problem is that my feelings for her are growing and my mind has started getting boldideas that I thought I’d moved on from long ago. I’ve also gotten the idea that maybe I should explain to her why I love her, going into details and what-not. But that’s a stupid idea that I would never go through with since it would ruin the relationship. Also, I could never have the courage, she already has WAYYYYY too many problems in her life and it would be really awkward in every conceivable way.
This is exactly how I feel I just can’t pretend anymore
This mauy very well explain much of my childhood, especially my adolescence: constantly pushing aside my "negative" feelings and avoiding reality, when I thought I was thinking positively.
I grew up with a condition commonly called “heart on my sleeve”. I was always overly emotional and sensitive. I’m now in my late 40’s and can say with certainty, emotions do nothing but get you hurt. Shutting them off and living a life of unemotional existence is the way to go. No one can hurt you and you cannot hurt anyone else.
As someone who is very emotional, and had to pretend nothing hurts me, I strongly agree. I am more than happy to feel numb to sadness and anger, in exchange in not feeling happiness, either. However, I think being numb can also make you accidentally hurt other people, since when you shut your feelings down, I also think you become less empathetic. I really wouldn't care though, since no one cares about me. It's a dog-eat-dog world, buddy.
Love this soothing and sweet voice😊❤
Another video that tell me I have a mental problem, although I don't think is exactly this
I give myself goals/an event that I look forward to.Before Halloween it was dressing up for Halloween, for December it was looking forward to my Advent calendar every day no matter how bad or good the day gets. I already have plans for New Year's Eve... Maybe the kind of motivation is a bit bad but it helped me to cope better with myself. So many new things happened this year
Can you guys give your insight on the mental health epidemic and the influence of the new trend of "romantizising" them and misinformation on the web. For example, I've seen more people atribuithing literally anything to ADHD or autism, when they know nothing about the actual condition (also w anxiety and depression)
This is exactly what I needed. I was just talking about all these habits I have in myself. Thank you Psych2Go
Gosh only that I tried to release but it was dismissed so I guess I became like that, exactly.
I can not describe how happy I am that I found this channel,it helped a lot to understand myself after struggling with depression and anxiety for so long.Thank you ❤
Note: Sorry my English is not really good
Your message is perfectly clear, and your English sounds great! I'm thrilled to hear that Psych2Go has been a helpful resource for you. It's wonderful that you've found understanding and support through the content. Thank you for sharing your experience, and take care!❤
Sending you all some energy 🧡 thank you so much for sharing so many things with us from all this time by the way. 💙