Amy Erlanger that’s awesome! Was her pregnancy natural or ivf? I’m 36 trying to get pregnant and I’m terrified of not being able to become a mother, I’ve been trying for 4 months now 😖😖😖
My mom had my younger sister at 40. She had me at 32. My sister and I are in our 30s now. My mom is 71. We're happy. My mom is extremely healthy though.
having a baby at 40 + years old and being successful and financially secure enough to raise your babies is actually good. it is way better than being 16 years old or 20 years old with no education and depending on welfare and food stamps to take care of your kids.
On the other hand, the children who were born to parents at 40+ are likely to have to take care of them sooner than expected. When the kids are grown up, they lose out on leaving the nest and focusing on establishing their careers/lives by becoming caregivers to elderly parents.
@@karaa7595 They won't be here forever and I'll miss them when God calls them home, but I hope me currently taking care of one of them hasn't made me unemployable and forever single. Being a millennial caregiver who's unemployed, single, and stuck in the nest isn't fun. At all. I'm using my story as a warning to those who think it's a good idea to wait until 40 to have kids. Barring unforeseen circumstances, HAVE THEM YOUNG.
finchborat most people who have kids that late tend be pretty well off financially. Wealthier people tend to be a healthier weight, more fit, healthier diet and less likely to smoke. In short they tend to have better health.
In the not so distant past women continued to have children into their 40's. They just started in their teen or twenties. Some of my friends mothers had their last children in their 40's. My own grandmother had my dad and his brother in her 40's.
My aunt had an unplanned pregnancy with her husband at 45 and gave birth to a healthy baby girl at the age of 46. That baby girl is now a healthy adult age 29. My aunt is still alive and kicking. Don't give up.
These women all look way younger than their age. I've noticed that a lot of older first-time moms (late 30s to 40s) tend to look more youthful than their peers who had kids earlier.
I am 39, just barely getting married for the first time. I plan to have a baby between 40-41. I always wanted to be married first so the child would have a loving, stable family
Good thinking you did a wonderful job. I say in 40 is the best years to start a family .Since at age 40 you got life together. My sister she is 43 years old and she just had her first baby.
@@imatexangirlgoode2587 As someone who was born to parents in their early 40s, 40 is the WORST time to start a family. The parents will be too old to play with their kids and by the time the kids grow up, they're likely to start off their adult lives by taking care of them instead of leaving the nest and getting their own careers/lives going. I'm 26 and I'm currently taking care of my mom. With no help. Barring unforeseen circumstances (i.e. getting married late), I strongly suggest people don't wait until their late 30s/early 40s to have kids. It's better that the kids serve as their parents' caregivers AFTER they get their careers/lives launched rather than BEFORE.
@finchborat it’s not because you are having a poor life experience that it’s gonna be the same for everyone else. My mom had me at 37 and my brother at 39 and my father was already 51 when my brother was born. My parents were and still are the best parents I could ever had and they were able to play with us. I am already in my 30’s and my parents don’t need any help from my brother and I, they take great care of themselves as they always did and I would still be able to count on them if I needed anything. There are parents who have their kids at young age and they still become dependents on their children, that has nothing to do with age!
@@finchborat How healthy were your parents? How physically fit? What kind of diet did they have? Where they in love with each other? There are variables!!!! Don't make comments like this without the details because it discourages HEALTHY, HAPPY, AND DESPERATE PEOPLE!! Your misery is not a given.
@@Beautyinwverything My dad has dealt with back and shoulder issues all my life. I had to lightly throw the baseball to my mom when we played catch when I was a kid (rolled the ball to her a couple of times in junior high). The few times we went bowling when I was 9, they couldn't bowl. I got over those things, but getting slapped with caring for an elderly parent early in adulthood is something I would never wish on anyone.
I needed to hear this! I just turned 28 and my peers make me feel ancient! I'm in school and my husband is trying to advance in his career. We're the only couple we know without children and we get so much flack for it. We're going to expand our family when we're good and ready! Cheers to the moms who were loving enough to wait until they were in a stable place to have their babies! You're an inspiration!
Reem Taleb ive had so many negative comments about becoming a mom over 35 that I thought a child would be embarrassed I was an older mom or angry that I waited until I was ready- but hearing from the kids of older moms helps so much! Tell your mom she raised an awesome kid who helped someone else today! 🤗
My great-grandmother had her first two kids at 25-27, had two more at 35-37 and her last two at 45-47! Of course, her youngest kids were only in their thirties when she died, but that was decades ago. People live so much longer now.
Children are a blessing....My mom was 46 years old (I was 20 & the youngest 18) when she felt pregnant with her fifth and last child. Now today...the baby will turn 27 this year (strong & healthy) - a little bit spoilt, but he has not just one set of parents - he's sisters (3), & brother and their spouses are also his parents. I myself have no children...I concentrated more in career as well as living life, taking care & knowing myself - now I feel that I'm more understanding of myself, life etc....I want to have a child or two - just looking for a husband (smirk). If we tend to keep on looking at the negatives - there would have been no humanity. Whether you are a teen, mid-twenties, thirties etc parent - we all will go through struggles (good or bad) with our little ones, that is just the circle of life. No guarantees - its what you make of what you have been given.
My niece is now 22. My sister was..lemme see...44..I believe.. when she and Steve became pregnant, not even thinking about being a mom. They decided though, to have the baby, (much joy for us all) and Grace was delivered via midwife, an uneventful home birth, also Val's choice. We still recall: Sandy the midwife said to my sister very early on, "Tell you what. I'd rather work with an older expectant mom who takes good care of herself, than a younger one who won't follow advice, or just.. doesn't give a sh*t.." Hurrah for 'mature' first time mothers!!!
lol you need to look at south Asian families, the woman will have her first child as a teenager or early twenties and her last child (usually a 6th or 7th child) in her 40s. happened in my family all the time. my mom, my aunts from both sides, even my grandma had their last child in their late 30s - mid 40s NATURALLY! I know a girl whose mom was mid-50s and had her and its hard to believe shes in her 80s now shes so active. If its possible to fall pregnant naturally in the east its possible for everyone. pay no attention to dumb 'statistics'. it may be harder but its certainly not impossible.
My great-grandmother had 14 children, her first at 17 and her last at 51. She passed away at 92, seeing her youngest have grandchildren. Nothing is impossible!
I used to believe that one should have a child before 35, but that's based on ancient data. I'm probably going to study 10-15 years (med school and a PhD), so I'll probably have kids in my late 30s or early 40s. And that's fine, I don't have to put pressure on myself, sacrifice my career or choose between work and a family.
Late 20s-30s is still the best time to have children. Since you are going to med school you will probably get to know all of this even better that after 40 the risks increase drastically for both for the mother's and the baby's health. This age recommendation is not to put pressure on women but to optimize the chances of the woman giving birth to a healthy child and remaining healthy themselves. Obviously this doesn't mean that you can't have a healthy child in your 40s it is just more likely to have them in your late 20s or 30s.
I had my first child at 33. I lost my first baby due to miscarriage. I was in college and on birth control from age 16-25. So it was not a great time for me to raise kids at that time.
I had my first boys at ages 25 and 29. I had my last at age 45. Now when I was 45 I was a little more tired but at had a lot energy and it kept me young. At age 61 I am a lot more tired with a 15 year old.
To each their own! Im in my late twenties and my husband (who had 3 kids within a previous marriage) is almost 50. We got judged at his age especially when our daughter was born. Oh well.. dont listen to haters
@Karmen Fox my dad had my brother at the age 51 and my mother was 37. Nowadays he looks like her grampa and everybody who looks at my boyfriend who’s 16 years order than me says we look weird together. I don’t agree but when I look at my parents I can understand what people is talking about so it’s not because they are haters, it’s just that they see it differently
I'm happy these families made their dreams come true. Having a family at any age is really a personal choice and nobody's business to judge. If it is not in your life plan not to have a certain age then that's great for you and your life just like its great them on what they chose for their life and family. Women have been having kids for years at different ages for centuries.
As someone (late 20s) who was born to older parents (early 40s) and currently taking care of one of them, let me say this. To me, as far as waiting until 40 to have kids, I view it as an act of carelessness, not fully thinking about things from the child's perspective. Those who wait to have kids need to realize that along with the disadvantages normally talked about (i.e. the kid having down syndrome, autism), there are other disadvantages that don't get discussed nearly enough. The parents will be too old to play with the kids and by the time the kids grow up, there's a pretty good chance they'll get slapped with early caregiving. The kids will be spending more time than expected in the nest and their lives/careers will be delayed as a result. I've had to take care of one of my parents since I graduated high school (graduated at the beginning of this decade) and the duties have gone up in the last 2+ yrs. It ain't fun being a caregiver in your 20s, especially with ZERO help and very few breaks. I'm hoping caregiving hasn't made me unemployable and forever single. I'm hoping my life isn't over. No one will ever convince me that it's a good and sound idea to have kids in your late 30s/early 40s. A blessing for the parent might be a curse for the child, with the curse kicking in once he/she reaches adulthood. To me, having kids at 40 should be viewed as a form of child abuse. Your kids' lives will be over before they even start.
@@heidiTouray I can't. Caregiving is keeping me from leaving the nest and starting my life. Got slapped with caregiving a couple of weeks after graduating high school. Didn't cost me a college degree, but like I said, I'm hoping it hasn't made me forever single and unemployable.
@@heidiTouray For one, had my parents had me 10 yrs earlier, I would've had roughly a 15 yr window to live my own life and not have to deal with caregiving. I'd have at least one job on my resume. I'd be able to have my own place and (hopefully) start a family, at least a marriage. And I would've been slapped with caregiving during my mid-30s rather than at 17. Maybe the bitterness isn't as strong and I could look back and say at least I had a decade plus-long window. It's better to get the caregiving duties later rather than sooner. Caregiving IS stopping me from living. I'm not the only one whose life has been interrupted because of caregiving. Like I said in the earlier comment, I'm the LONE caregiver. If someone else was in my place (or if I had the money to put my mom in the nursing home), I'd be able to have a life and at least a little more freedom.
My reason for waiting has nothing to do with career despite me having a masters degree. It had everything to do with not finding the right person until later on. I wanted a family at 25 but guys just don't believe in marriage and family. They're out trying to play the field and waste your time. Now im married but I'm scared I got early menopause. 😞😞😞
So my step mum wouldn't necessarily be classed as a first time mum but she is a first time biological mum and she's about to have her baby tomorrow at 43. Xx
I didn’t know my grandparents aunts uncles cousins because we grew up on different continents. So this whole idea that only happens when you have kids in your 40s is stupid.
We don't know who God will call first kids or parents older people have kids they're to old younger kids have them they are to young live your life God has the last say
This should be normal. Have the kid when you're mature and financially ready. Kids in their early 20s having kids know nothing about life and most Re not financially stable. Best to wait until you have a career and a paid off mortgage and that's achievable by 35 or 40 IF you put off having kids in your earlier years
I'm having my first at 20 and very happy about that. Maturity or ability to be a good parent isn't always reflected in age. I do not mind being a traditional stay at home mom so not too bothered about a career. I know me and my fiance would be more fulfilled having children in our 20's and 30's than just focusing on money or work. Our children will have loving parents. A lot of people in their early 20's are grown mature adults with lots of life experience. A lot of older people would consider me to have a lot of life experience, due to many tragic life circumstances. There's some 50 year olds (like my mother) who are imatture and wouldn't be able to raise a child
No it shouldn't. You're basically screwing your child if you wait until 40 to have him/her. Their lives are at risk of not launching because they're stuck taking care of you in their 20s.
finchborat Trust me, my son won't be stuck taking care of me or my husband. We are working too hard to raise him to be a successful adult to do that to him.
@@karaa7595 But that upbringing won't mean much if either of y'all have a serious ailment come up that forces him to put his life/career on hold so early in adulthood.
finchborat Most 60 year olds don’t need to be cared for unless they are sick. The majority of people that age are still working and/or living independently.
@Angelica Rodriguez Hi 😊 It is ok my mom had very healthy pregnancy and she was in very good health wish you luck.. don't listen to anyone tell you can't women can be pregnant even in 50 !👍💕
I already live I a tiny family with old mothers. Growing up with just 1 uncle and my grandma wasn't terrible tho we are very close and I still have my parents friends ^^
It’s amazing how people think having babies in your 40s is unnatural. Before birth control was invented many women had children at a later age for hundreds of years. Much luck and blessings mothers to be.
Met my wife at 25. House by 28. Married by 32. Kids by 37. Had to spend 35k on IVF to have kids. Glad we waited to have kids in our 30s. It’s the norm now. A few parents at my 10 year old twins school are early 30s. We are later 40s as the majority.
Hello, can I please ask how many embryo transfers did you guys do before it implanted and got pregnant? We have done 2 so far and both failed...hoping to try 3rd transfer February 2024...hoping it works.
With the world getting more and more expensive, its expected that more women will want to make enough money first because they have their child. Its better than having them young and living off welfare.
I say this is a very good idea and there's nothing wrong with it because in your 40s you're pretty fine tune with your career - my dad had me when he was 40
I was born to parents over 40 and it's not a good idea. I'm in my late 20s and I've had to take care of my mom (in some capacity) for nearly 10 full years. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I refuse to be a father at 40 (or later). I HATE caregiving.
@@γιουργια I do know what I'm talking about. Since I replied to this comment, caregiving has not slowed down at all. My mom still needs endless help from me AND I lost my dad last fall. He was 72. Tell me again I don't know what I'm talking about. You and those who want kids after 40 are the clueless ones.
@@finchborat Depende how you age... all the old people I know in the late 70's do live alone and still travel with not medical condition and looking after the grandkids. If you have a baby in your 40's then make sure your are healthier and you will live longer so when you are mid 80's your kids will be very close to 40's just a normal age to look after your parents if they need it.!
My boyfriend is almost 49 and I'm 45 and he wants one with me...we are considering. Men are lucky...you can have children any time in your life...not too late for you...good luck Sir!
Candy Smith, Actually thats not true. Risks go up for men too with age to have children with abnormalities, miscarriages, etc. But for men the risk increase starts around age 50-55.
How do you Like That ? Im in my late twenties my husband almost 50 and we just had a baby. someone your age most likely wont be able to get knocked up.
A lot to unpack here. First, many women in their 20s and 30s are seeking "Prince Charming", who does not exist. As they wait for him to magically appear - before their know it - their biological clocks are practically at zero! Additionally, there are increasing numbers of women who choose not to marry (like the woman in this story) and instead opt to be the sole parent. Is this really fair to the child? There is also an ethical question here. Is it in the best interest of both parent/child to have kids at age 40+? All the sleepless nights, stress, doctor visits, energy, and financial costs associated with raising children need to be taken into account!
There is another big thing to take into account when it comes to having kids after turning 40 that isn't discussed nearly enough. Once the child grows up, there's a chance he/she will be hit with early caregiving. Early caregiving will force the child to delay independence, starting a career, getting married, and having kids. What might be a blessing for the parent(s) might end up being a curse for the child. They never talk about the child's perspective when it comes to having kids late. I was born to older parents (mom was 40, dad was 43) and I've had to take care of my mom for the past decade in some capacity. Caregiving has been the theme for me since graduating college. The caregiving duties went up nearly 3 and a half years ago and they've been high ever since. I'm stuck in the nest much longer than I should be and all my friends/peers from high school and college all have homes, jobs, spouses, and kids. I'm 28 years old and I should be among them but I'm not. Everywhere I can, I tell people that having kids after 40 is a horrible idea. I don't want the kids to know what it's currently like for me. I'm hoping early caregiving hasn't destroyed my chances at getting a job, getting married, and having kids (preferably before this decade ends). When the caregiving finally ends, I will be looking for my first ever job.
My mom had me at 42 and my dad at 52 i always felt like my parents were my grandparents i was higly judged and stigmatized specially in my culture. IN my culture people usually have kids at an extremely young age starting at 15. And now that im an adult in my 20s my parents are elderly instead of being in there 40s or 50s. definetely has its challenges also ... there is alot of pressure on me because i have to take care of my parents also... I have OCD AUTISM ADHD Eczema some weird issues all kinds of learning issues that are common in parents who are older. My siblings who are much older then me have much less issues
Young parents have kids with health issues too. These women are using science so don't worry for their babies' health. You might be stigmatized in your culture but instead of thinking of what others think maybe focus on if you received love or not... My mother had me at 32 and I don't even feel like I am loved. My father was older and I received so much unconditional love from him. And all kinds of stuff... You can't blame your parents for everything that is happening to you.
I'm sorry I would never intentionally be a single mother and have a donor. What happened to adopting a needy child? It seems selfish plus hear the procedures are expensive. If love doesn't come my way one day. No child? So be it.
And to me, it's also careless to have kids at 40. People who do that fail to realize that the kids will be stuck in the nest taking care of their parents much sooner than expected and get robbed of launching their lives/careers in their 20s.
@@nachannachle2706 I'm not overthinking this. I'm telling it like it is. I got robbed of getting my life/career going because of early caregiving. I'm still in the nest because of early caregiving. People do make their own choices, but sometimes, they make the wrong choices.
Adoption is everyones problem - you could also ask why not traditional familys have 1 less child and adopt another one? - we all should take care of them not just the single moms or familys that have infertility...
All I know is that I want a child and I should be able to have one soon in the near future.....I am 38 now so I should have one by 41 or 42.....I hoping marriage/relationship for it so gotta lean on God.....I don’t wanna wait or have one too late in age so the sooner the better
I wish I was as lucky as you and found a loving wonderful husband at a young age. Im 30, dating one year into a new relationship. My ex was abusive.....should I have stayed with him because it's so terrible to form a family after 30?....think not....good luck to yoh
Nah I’m good having my first baby at 23 🤰🏼 my mom had me at 41 because she had miscarriages for 10 years and she always has told me she wishes she could’ve been able to have kids way younger. Also I hardly know anyone who had kids in their 20’s whose kids have disabilities. 🤷🏼♀️
WE HAD OUR SON AFTER 40 I regret it so much we were so healthy and youthful thru out our 30s, that changed for me in my 40s and my husband passed in his early 60s. We were incredibly happy and thrilled with our son but now he is alone, with a disabled mother and his children will not have grand parents. He must face adulthood with no parents, It is so unfair to the children to start families so late. Sorry ladies you can't have it all ...choose. If you want children do it early having children later is incredibly selfish thinking only of yourself and parents who love their children would not do this anymore than I would bring children into an unstable relationship. I loved my future children enough to make sure I could afford them and give them two loving parents in a committed relationship but I didn't foresee the risks of over 40 parenthood. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Yes of course young parents can get sick and die too but your chance of that is greater as you age
As someone who was born to parents who were in their early 40s, I 100% agree. To me, as far as waiting until 40 to have kids, I view it as an act of carelessness, not fully thinking about things from the child's perspective. Those who wait to have kids need to realize that along with the chances of the kids seeing their parents die at a young age being high, them taking care of their parents at an earlier than expected age will also be high should the parents have kids after 40. I'm hoping that (circumstances allowing) I'm a father well before 40 (or my late 30s) and not after. If I'm still childless by 40 but married, I'm adopting. I'll adopt a kid who would've been my biological child if I had him/her in my early to mid 30s.
fran zimmerman I'm sorry about your husband, I really am. But this regret just isn't necessary. I have met many people who lost a parent in their 30's and 40's, when they were between 12 and 18. Life is unpredictable. It sounds like your son was and still is very loved. If you had not taken the path you took, he would not exist. So I know deep down you don't regret having him. And to have HIM you had to be in your 40's. That's just how it worked out. Most 20 something's go through a period where they ditch their grandparents anyway. Many want to be free of their parents. But they are stuck with them. That's a common feeling that usually passes. If they are good, young people they help out willingly. I am an only child and I chose to stay near my parents because I'm all they have. I didn't have to do this, I wanted to, because it's what I know. And I feel like it's the right thing to do. It doesn't sound like you are forcing your son to stick around. Sounds like he wants to. Also sounds like he was a gift from God to you, considering your husband passed away so young. Your son will meet someone one day and settle down and start his own family. He won't be alone.
We are all free to make our own decisions but as an older parent I wanted to give my perspective. I could never foresee or avoid all the pitfalls of later parenting. The young man who responded was a child of older parents has his perspective. We both felt that this option is not best for the child so at least some people who have lived this......question the decision . You will do what you think us best for you and your child. Good luck .. God and nature is predisposed for us to have our children early not too early but young, If I could do it again and had the choice I would have done it earlier, Some people can learn from the mistakes of other most need to make the mistake anyway, and of course there are exceptional people and circumstances. I just wasn't one of them. I don't complain I had a great love and a wonderful husband and son. I just wish I had started earlier and for that matter had more children. @@karaa7595
What are you talking about? Some children are born orphans every day and will never have any biological "family" per say; though they will eventually find a social group to belong to. How is your son in a worse position than them?
30 is actually the right time to have kids because your eggs still work well and you're young but at your age you're probably financially stable and not a child yourself anymore
It's just not fair it's easy for men to have children in their 40s or 50s when they're already established in their careers & financially well off. Whereas women have to have children in their 20s or 30s to have children or else the biological clock is gone sooner.
Why is career everything these days? I have 6 kids and will have more if I can. I have the rest of my life to pursue my own interests, but I won’t have my whole life to have kids.
I would rather have my kids in my late twenties than in my forties! While I have my energy. Im not a career driven woman though..and I would like to enjoy my grandkids when Im not on my deathbed.
Children can kiss grandparents and great grandparent relationships goodbye. And the 40+ year old Mom won’t be the fun grandma, she’ll be the one with medical issues. I wish my mom didn’t have me old ☹️
And another disadvantage is that kids born to parents at 40+ will be taking care of them much sooner than expected. They're stuck in the nest and are unable to establish their own lives, careers, and families because of caregiving.
So? My mom had me and my twin sister at 46. We're 20 now. Everything is good.
Amy Erlanger wow your mother is amazing!
Amy Erlanger that’s awesome! Was her pregnancy natural or ivf? I’m 36 trying to get pregnant and I’m terrified of not being able to become a mother, I’ve been trying for 4 months now 😖😖😖
BROTHER TN patience mama, I wish you and your partner the best of luck!
Amber thank you 🙏
@@brothertn708 it was ivf, but so what? She got pregnant, had me and my sister, and we're all doing great!
Good luck to you.
My mom had me when she was 45! I’m perfectly healthy.
Deanna Henderson thank you for posting!
So glad to hear this- I'm the product of an over 40 mom 33 years before this up tick. Don't give up over forty moms!!!
bo5ticliz forty is the new thirty❤️💖👍🏾
Thank you dear :)
Stop acting like this is normal! This makes more people push off adoption.
bo5ticliz I'm 40 trying for the first time
Hey, have u ever felt in teenage that ur mom is too old than ur friend's mom's?
My sister she is 43 years old this year and she just give birth to a healthy handsome little baby boy.
My mom had my younger sister at 40. She had me at 32. My sister and I are in our 30s now. My mom is 71. We're happy. My mom is extremely healthy though.
having a baby at 40 + years old and being successful and financially secure enough to raise your babies is actually good. it is way better than being 16 years old or 20 years old with no education and depending on welfare and food stamps to take care of your kids.
On the other hand, the children who were born to parents at 40+ are likely to have to take care of them sooner than expected. When the kids are grown up, they lose out on leaving the nest and focusing on establishing their careers/lives by becoming caregivers to elderly parents.
finchborat ok we get it. You're sore about having to look after elderly parents. They won't be here forever. Enjoy them.
@@karaa7595 They won't be here forever and I'll miss them when God calls them home, but I hope me currently taking care of one of them hasn't made me unemployable and forever single. Being a millennial caregiver who's unemployed, single, and stuck in the nest isn't fun. At all.
I'm using my story as a warning to those who think it's a good idea to wait until 40 to have kids. Barring unforeseen circumstances, HAVE THEM YOUNG.
finchborat most people who have kids that late tend be pretty well off financially. Wealthier people tend to be a healthier weight, more fit, healthier diet and less likely to smoke. In short they tend to have better health.
Anybody who's had kids especially in 2020 knows there is no such thing as financially stable
In the not so distant past women continued to have children into their 40's. They just started in their teen or twenties. Some of my friends mothers had their last children in their 40's. My own grandmother had my dad and his brother in her 40's.
Yup thats how it was in ancient times. Woman would bare children from early teenage years until they couldn't anylonger.
True
This is very true; My great grandfather was a surprise baby for his momma who was 44 at the time.
Yes, my great grandma had eleven children. She had her first at 24 and her last at 43.
My aunt had an unplanned pregnancy with her husband at 45 and gave birth to a healthy baby girl at the age of 46. That baby girl is now a healthy adult age 29. My aunt is still alive and kicking. Don't give up.
My mom had me at 40 and my sister at 42
justjacks music talk about a mom with good eggs and even better genes!
My grandmother was born in 1930 and her mother was 45 when she was born
justjacks music what was your experience like?
46? she looks like she's in her early 30s!
I looked that young at 45 when I had my last.
Yeah she looks good for her age. Could pass for mid 30s and no one will bat an eye thinking thats her grandchild
Early 30s is pushing it - Maybe for white women standards.....? She looks about 40, still good tho!
These women all look way younger than their age. I've noticed that a lot of older first-time moms (late 30s to 40s) tend to look more youthful than their peers who had kids earlier.
So trueee
Yep
Im 19,my mom had me when he was 42.
She is 61 now but she looks like she is 50 lmao
Congratulations to all the mothers! Finally their DREAMS came true!
I am 39, just barely getting married for the first time. I plan to have a baby between 40-41. I always wanted to be married first so the child would have a loving, stable family
Good thinking you did a wonderful job. I say in 40 is the best years to start a family .Since at age 40 you got life together. My sister she is 43 years old and she just had her first baby.
@@imatexangirlgoode2587 As someone who was born to parents in their early 40s, 40 is the WORST time to start a family. The parents will be too old to play with their kids and by the time the kids grow up, they're likely to start off their adult lives by taking care of them instead of leaving the nest and getting their own careers/lives going. I'm 26 and I'm currently taking care of my mom. With no help.
Barring unforeseen circumstances (i.e. getting married late), I strongly suggest people don't wait until their late 30s/early 40s to have kids. It's better that the kids serve as their parents' caregivers AFTER they get their careers/lives launched rather than BEFORE.
@finchborat it’s not because you are having a poor life experience that it’s gonna be the same for everyone else. My mom had me at 37 and my brother at 39 and my father was already 51 when my brother was born. My parents were and still are the best parents I could ever had and they were able to play with us. I am already in my 30’s and my parents don’t need any help from my brother and I, they take great care of themselves as they always did and I would still be able to count on them if I needed anything. There are parents who have their kids at young age and they still become dependents on their children, that has nothing to do with age!
@@finchborat How healthy were your parents? How physically fit? What kind of diet did they have? Where they in love with each other? There are variables!!!! Don't make comments like this without the details because it discourages HEALTHY, HAPPY, AND DESPERATE PEOPLE!! Your misery is not a given.
@@Beautyinwverything My dad has dealt with back and shoulder issues all my life. I had to lightly throw the baseball to my mom when we played catch when I was a kid (rolled the ball to her a couple of times in junior high). The few times we went bowling when I was 9, they couldn't bowl. I got over those things, but getting slapped with caring for an elderly parent early in adulthood is something I would never wish on anyone.
This was so precious. God Bless all the moms in the world!
I needed to hear this! I just turned 28 and my peers make me feel ancient! I'm in school and my husband is trying to advance in his career. We're the only couple we know without children and we get so much flack for it. We're going to expand our family when we're good and ready! Cheers to the moms who were loving enough to wait until they were in a stable place to have their babies! You're an inspiration!
My mom had me at 41 when my dad was 54 😂 i got to have grandparents and parents at the same time
40s is not too old to have a baby
Every women wants to become a mother for some reason she may not be able to conceive but should she give up hopes after 40.
Women should try UpTo 50 and even after 40 she can hope
Yes it is.
@Mr. J Random And the kids are at risk of having their careers and adult lives delayed because of early caregiving.
Agreed. I'm 25. My mother had me at 30.
My mom had me in her 40s too. I turned out fine. She’s pretty healthy too ✌️💕
Reem Taleb thank you for posting! I’ll be an older mom too and it’s great to hear that!
LondonsLanding no problem it’s actually a benefit because you have more life experience to share and provide with them
Reem Taleb ive had so many negative comments about becoming a mom over 35 that I thought a child would be embarrassed I was an older mom or angry that I waited until I was ready- but hearing from the kids of older moms helps so much! Tell your mom she raised an awesome kid who helped someone else today! 🤗
LondonsLanding a🤗🤗🤗
LondonsLanding btw I’m actually a third child so maybe my experience may be different from others just thought I’d mention that
I'm in my 40's...I'm excited to begin my family, G'd willing.
Bless
Good for u enjoy the journey
Yes @39yrs.no complications and healthy kid it's possible.
My great-grandmother had her first two kids at 25-27, had two more at 35-37 and her last two at 45-47! Of course, her youngest kids were only in their thirties when she died, but that was decades ago. People live so much longer now.
Woow
Children are a blessing....My mom was 46 years old (I was 20 & the youngest 18) when she felt pregnant with her fifth and last child. Now today...the baby will turn 27 this year (strong & healthy) - a little bit spoilt, but he has not just one set of parents - he's sisters (3), & brother and their spouses are also his parents. I myself have no children...I concentrated more in career as well as living life, taking care & knowing myself - now I feel that I'm more understanding of myself, life etc....I want to have a child or two - just looking for a husband (smirk). If we tend to keep on looking at the negatives - there would have been no humanity. Whether you are a teen, mid-twenties, thirties etc parent - we all will go through struggles (good or bad) with our little ones, that is just the circle of life. No guarantees - its what you make of what you have been given.
My niece is now 22. My sister was..lemme see...44..I believe.. when she and Steve became pregnant, not even thinking about being a mom. They decided though, to have the baby, (much joy for us all) and Grace was delivered via midwife, an uneventful home birth, also Val's choice. We still recall: Sandy the midwife said to my sister very early on, "Tell you what. I'd rather work with an older expectant mom who takes good care of herself, than a younger one who won't follow advice, or just.. doesn't give a sh*t.." Hurrah for 'mature' first time mothers!!!
My parents were 44 when they had me and I am perfectly healthy.
I'm starting my family at forty.... I got pregnant on my first try... I'm blessed
That’s fantastic! Do you have any tips? 😁did you take any vitamins or change tour diet? TIA xx
@@Caralaramay nope!!! Nothing at all. I just tried to get pregnant and POW!!! I was pregnant. She's 7 months old now. Perfectly healthy baby girl.
Were you 40 on the dot? I'm about to turn 41 and trying. I hope it's not too late
@@beautifulwonderful4391 I got pregnant a couple months before turning forty
@@calistyle95 that's good I'm already about to be 41 so it's probably too late for me
lol you need to look at south Asian families, the woman will have her first child as a teenager or early twenties and her last child (usually a 6th or 7th child) in her 40s. happened in my family all the time. my mom, my aunts from both sides, even my grandma had their last child in their late 30s - mid 40s NATURALLY! I know a girl whose mom was mid-50s and had her and its hard to believe shes in her 80s now shes so active. If its possible to fall pregnant naturally in the east its possible for everyone. pay no attention to dumb 'statistics'. it may be harder but its certainly not impossible.
My great-grandmother had 14 children, her first at 17 and her last at 51. She passed away at 92, seeing her youngest have grandchildren. Nothing is impossible!
I used to believe that one should have a child before 35, but that's based on ancient data. I'm probably going to study 10-15 years (med school and a PhD), so I'll probably have kids in my late 30s or early 40s. And that's fine, I don't have to put pressure on myself, sacrifice my career or choose between work and a family.
Late 20s-30s is still the best time to have children. Since you are going to med school you will probably get to know all of this even better that after 40 the risks increase drastically for both for the mother's and the baby's health. This age recommendation is not to put pressure on women but to optimize the chances of the woman giving birth to a healthy child and remaining healthy themselves. Obviously this doesn't mean that you can't have a healthy child in your 40s it is just more likely to have them in your late 20s or 30s.
Everyone has different timing. I'm having my first at 20 and very happy about it
I had my first child at 33. I lost my first baby due to miscarriage. I was in college and on birth control from age 16-25. So it was not a great time for me to raise kids at that time.
40 is not to old to have a baby. Just plan on being more tired when you have teens in your
60's.
exactly.. thats why Im for having babies in your 20's. Its zoo draining Idk how these older women do it?? maybe childcare.
I had my first boys at ages 25 and 29. I had my last at age 45. Now when I was 45 I was a little more tired but at had a lot energy and it kept me young. At age 61 I am a lot more tired with a 15 year old.
It's tough to plan or save for retirement when your kids are heading off to college.
How can someone who had a baby at 40 still have a teen in their 60s?
Being exhausted more often is a sign that 40 IS too old to have kids.
Thanks be to God for His mercies! 🤗
„Now getting pregnant at 29 is a teen pregnancy „ lol
I was 21 when I was first pregnant, is that now called a kindergarten pregnancy?🤔
@@IzzyTheInsane97 I was 23 with my first and 26 with my 2nd
Girl I’m not changing no diapers in my 40”s 😂
I mean
Its your 20s
You are not in any way capable of taking care of child. Neither mentally, neither financially
Gives me hope!!! You go ladies!!!
Me too :
I work in museums and 70% of women in my work place had babies in their 40''s
i had my son aged 41 , he's 14 now its wonderful being his mom .
To each their own! Im in my late twenties and my husband (who had 3 kids within a previous marriage) is almost 50. We got judged at his age especially when our daughter was born. Oh well.. dont listen to haters
@Karmen Fox my dad had my brother at the age 51 and my mother was 37. Nowadays he looks like her grampa and everybody who looks at my boyfriend who’s 16 years order than me says we look weird together. I don’t agree but when I look at my parents I can understand what people is talking about so it’s not because they are haters, it’s just that they see it differently
Go watch Adam ruins everything it's called you can still have babies after 35.
I'm happy these families made their dreams come true. Having a family at any age is really a personal choice and nobody's business to judge. If it is not in your life plan not to have a certain age then that's great for you and your life just like its great them on what they chose for their life and family. Women have been having kids for years at different ages for centuries.
As someone (late 20s) who was born to older parents (early 40s) and currently taking care of one of them, let me say this. To me, as far as waiting until 40 to have kids, I view it as an act of carelessness, not fully thinking about things from the child's perspective. Those who wait to have kids need to realize that along with the disadvantages normally talked about (i.e. the kid having down syndrome, autism), there are other disadvantages that don't get discussed nearly enough.
The parents will be too old to play with the kids and by the time the kids grow up, there's a pretty good chance they'll get slapped with early caregiving. The kids will be spending more time than expected in the nest and their lives/careers will be delayed as a result. I've had to take care of one of my parents since I graduated high school (graduated at the beginning of this decade) and the duties have gone up in the last 2+ yrs. It ain't fun being a caregiver in your 20s, especially with ZERO help and very few breaks. I'm hoping caregiving hasn't made me unemployable and forever single. I'm hoping my life isn't over.
No one will ever convince me that it's a good and sound idea to have kids in your late 30s/early 40s. A blessing for the parent might be a curse for the child, with the curse kicking in once he/she reaches adulthood. To me, having kids at 40 should be viewed as a form of child abuse. Your kids' lives will be over before they even start.
@@heidiTouray I can't. Caregiving is keeping me from leaving the nest and starting my life. Got slapped with caregiving a couple of weeks after graduating high school. Didn't cost me a college degree, but like I said, I'm hoping it hasn't made me forever single and unemployable.
@@heidiTouray For one, had my parents had me 10 yrs earlier, I would've had roughly a 15 yr window to live my own life and not have to deal with caregiving. I'd have at least one job on my resume. I'd be able to have my own place and (hopefully) start a family, at least a marriage. And I would've been slapped with caregiving during my mid-30s rather than at 17. Maybe the bitterness isn't as strong and I could look back and say at least I had a decade plus-long window. It's better to get the caregiving duties later rather than sooner.
Caregiving IS stopping me from living. I'm not the only one whose life has been interrupted because of caregiving. Like I said in the earlier comment, I'm the LONE caregiver. If someone else was in my place (or if I had the money to put my mom in the nursing home), I'd be able to have a life and at least a little more freedom.
My reason for waiting has nothing to do with career despite me having a masters degree. It had everything to do with not finding the right person until later on. I wanted a family at 25 but guys just don't believe in marriage and family. They're out trying to play the field and waste your time. Now im married but I'm scared I got early menopause. 😞😞😞
I'm reading this one year later, even with menopause there is IVF sweety. I hope everything turned out fine.
God bless ladies and babies
I am 43 hoping to adopt. Was feeling too old then saw this. Here's Hoping
Why? Get a dog. Don't put a child through that.
@@misterm5325 that is incredibly cruel. You have no clue what I have been through. I am now crying. Next time, please don't say mean things.
@@bethdowsepollock8619 adopting is best.
So my step mum wouldn't necessarily be classed as a first time mum but she is a first time biological mum and she's about to have her baby tomorrow at 43. Xx
Congrats my sister she is 43 too and just had her baby.
You look super young and I applaud you! Yes we CAN have healthy babies well into our 40s
I'd love to see a follow-up story and the numbers now. Very interesting.
No just this days our grandmother they had their children from 16 years old to when their period stopped
lina lol exactly.
No big deal. My mom had my lil brother when she was 39.
I had my son at 39. :)
My mom too. 7 months before 40.
Hollie Worswick so glad to see this! Thank you for posting! I hope my future child feels the same way
This maybe the future. Considering the economy nowadays, we can't have kids in our 20's and 30's. We're too busy trying to survive.
I didn’t know my grandparents aunts uncles cousins because we grew up on different continents. So this whole idea that only happens when you have kids in your 40s is stupid.
omg Vivian is possibly one of the most perfect little baby I think I have ever seen. So cute!
Mom had me at 41
We don't know who God will call first kids or parents older people have kids they're to old younger kids have them they are to young live your life God has the last say
He does.
Wow this was beautiful. Thanks
This should be normal. Have the kid when you're mature and financially ready. Kids in their early 20s having kids know nothing about life and most Re not financially stable. Best to wait until you have a career and a paid off mortgage and that's achievable by 35 or 40 IF you put off having kids in your earlier years
I'm having my first at 20 and very happy about that. Maturity or ability to be a good parent isn't always reflected in age. I do not mind being a traditional stay at home mom so not too bothered about a career. I know me and my fiance would be more fulfilled having children in our 20's and 30's than just focusing on money or work. Our children will have loving parents. A lot of people in their early 20's are grown mature adults with lots of life experience. A lot of older people would consider me to have a lot of life experience, due to many tragic life circumstances.
There's some 50 year olds (like my mother) who are imatture and wouldn't be able to raise a child
No it shouldn't. You're basically screwing your child if you wait until 40 to have him/her. Their lives are at risk of not launching because they're stuck taking care of you in their 20s.
finchborat Trust me, my son won't be stuck taking care of me or my husband. We are working too hard to raise him to be a successful adult to do that to him.
@@karaa7595 But that upbringing won't mean much if either of y'all have a serious ailment come up that forces him to put his life/career on hold so early in adulthood.
finchborat Most 60 year olds don’t need to be cared for unless they are sick. The majority of people that age are still working and/or living independently.
My mom had my sister at 45
@Angelica Rodriguez Hi 😊
It is ok my mom had very healthy pregnancy and she was in very good health wish you luck.. don't listen to anyone tell you can't women can be pregnant even in 50 !👍💕
@Angelica Rodriguez ❤thanks ❤
These are beautiful stories! There's hope!...;-)
Wait a minute that's the MTV reporter from the 90s Serena altschul
I have a 1 year old and I am 38.
I already live I a tiny family with old mothers. Growing up with just 1 uncle and my grandma wasn't terrible tho we are very close and I still have my parents friends ^^
It’s amazing how people think having babies in your 40s is unnatural. Before birth control was invented many women had children at a later age for hundreds of years. Much luck and blessings mothers to be.
Cause late ages was 30s early was 12
My grandma had my mom at 15 and was pregnant with her last child at my mom's wedding. So her kids are 23 years apart lol
KaylahDemi lol my brothers are 14 and 16 years older than me
I wonder how the opinions would change if the video focused on adopting in one's 40's? Would that change perspective a bit?
Why?
I would rather be with these women starting a family in their 40s than other women in their 40s single with 4 kids from 3-4 daddies. No doubt
This is incredible and God’s miracle ❤️
The opening reporter had great energy. Very charismatic
I agree.
Empty nesters can be lonely, needy, and well, dare I say troublemakers trying to get attention. It's better to wait. The more maturity the better.
My mom had me at 41. I'm a bit brain dead but it's all good.
Met my wife at 25. House by 28. Married by 32. Kids by 37. Had to spend 35k on IVF to have kids. Glad we waited to have kids in our 30s. It’s the norm now. A few parents at my 10 year old twins school are early 30s. We are later 40s as the majority.
Hello, can I please ask how many embryo transfers did you guys do before it implanted and got pregnant? We have done 2 so far and both failed...hoping to try 3rd transfer February 2024...hoping it works.
Calla Lily Rose🌹 What a Beautiful little girl!!! Yayyyyyyy! God's Blessing bestowed. Congratulations 🎊
With the world getting more and more expensive, its expected that more women will want to make enough money first because they have their child. Its better than having them young and living off welfare.
It’s so irritating when people say they do things 24/7.
I say this is a very good idea and there's nothing wrong with it because in your 40s you're pretty fine tune with your career - my dad had me when he was 40
I was born to parents over 40 and it's not a good idea. I'm in my late 20s and I've had to take care of my mom (in some capacity) for nearly 10 full years. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I refuse to be a father at 40 (or later).
I HATE caregiving.
@@finchborat i was born with parents in their 40s,and you have no idea what are you talking about
@@γιουργια I do know what I'm talking about.
Since I replied to this comment, caregiving has not slowed down at all. My mom still needs endless help from me AND I lost my dad last fall. He was 72.
Tell me again I don't know what I'm talking about. You and those who want kids after 40 are the clueless ones.
Same
@@finchboratthat’s horrible to say.
The problem is you’ll be 70 when your kids are in their 20s
And the kids will be taking care of you much sooner than expected, robbing them of the ability to launch their lives, careers, etc.
Your math is off.
@@finchborat Depende how you age... all the old people I know in the late 70's do live alone and still travel with not medical condition and looking after the grandkids. If you have a baby in your 40's then make sure your are healthier and you will live longer so when you are mid 80's your kids will be very close to 40's just a normal age to look after your parents if they need it.!
Ok,and?
I’m 36 and pregnant and terrified about my age...
40 year old mom 3 kids
Scott 20
Janice 18
Katie 11
What a cute baby girl
You look like you're in your 20's.. 😊💕
I want to see more videos like this
lol people saying “women can have babies after 37” no really like my mom had me when she was 45 and these women are too like uhh?
seems the ones are against having kids at an older age are selfish,i hope y'all a live to see 100 years and beyond!!
Father's matter....
Since 70% will live till 100 or older -having kids over 40 is perfect- although I would not have a child over 50
In Africa it is a rare moment or situation.😊😊
Yeah, but how about men who waited much to long like ME ???....66. Is there any chance left ?😵😱😬
My boyfriend is almost 49 and I'm 45 and he wants one with me...we are considering. Men are lucky...you can have children any time in your life...not too late for you...good luck Sir!
Candy Smith, Actually thats not true. Risks go up for men too with age to have children with abnormalities, miscarriages, etc. But for men the risk increase starts around age 50-55.
How do you Like That ? Im in my late twenties my husband almost 50 and we just had a baby. someone your age most likely wont be able to get knocked up.
Sure there is provided she's in her 20s. Got a better chance of getting hit by lightning then a 66 year old woman getting pregnant
Choosing to be a single mother just to be a mother? Why?
A lot to unpack here. First, many women in their 20s and 30s are seeking "Prince Charming", who does not exist. As they wait for him to magically appear - before their know it - their biological clocks are practically at zero!
Additionally, there are increasing numbers of women who choose not to marry (like the woman in this story) and instead opt to be the sole parent. Is this really fair to the child?
There is also an ethical question here. Is it in the best interest of both parent/child to have kids at age 40+? All the sleepless nights, stress, doctor visits, energy, and financial costs associated with raising children need to be taken into account!
There is another big thing to take into account when it comes to having kids after turning 40 that isn't discussed nearly enough. Once the child grows up, there's a chance he/she will be hit with early caregiving. Early caregiving will force the child to delay independence, starting a career, getting married, and having kids. What might be a blessing for the parent(s) might end up being a curse for the child. They never talk about the child's perspective when it comes to having kids late.
I was born to older parents (mom was 40, dad was 43) and I've had to take care of my mom for the past decade in some capacity. Caregiving has been the theme for me since graduating college. The caregiving duties went up nearly 3 and a half years ago and they've been high ever since. I'm stuck in the nest much longer than I should be and all my friends/peers from high school and college all have homes, jobs, spouses, and kids. I'm 28 years old and I should be among them but I'm not.
Everywhere I can, I tell people that having kids after 40 is a horrible idea. I don't want the kids to know what it's currently like for me. I'm hoping early caregiving hasn't destroyed my chances at getting a job, getting married, and having kids (preferably before this decade ends). When the caregiving finally ends, I will be looking for my first ever job.
She looks like she's 30
Probably gonna be me. I got to get in shape first.
I would need a supportive rich husband.
In ur 40 please stay young much as possible. So ur child don't see u as old.there friends Ma will b young.
My mom had me at 42 and my dad at 52 i always felt like my parents were my grandparents i was higly judged and stigmatized specially in my culture. IN my culture people usually have kids at an extremely young age starting at 15. And now that im an adult in my 20s my parents are elderly instead of being in there 40s or 50s. definetely has its challenges also ... there is alot of pressure on me because i have to take care of my parents also... I have OCD AUTISM ADHD Eczema some weird issues all kinds of learning issues that are common in parents who are older. My siblings who are much older then me have much less issues
Mybson have same like you but i got him at 22 years so stop say this s...
Young parents have kids with health issues too. These women are using science so don't worry for their babies' health. You might be stigmatized in your culture but instead of thinking of what others think maybe focus on if you received love or not... My mother had me at 32 and I don't even feel like I am loved. My father was older and I received so much unconditional love from him. And all kinds of stuff... You can't blame your parents for everything that is happening to you.
I'm sorry I would never intentionally be a single mother and have a donor. What happened to adopting a needy child? It seems selfish plus hear the procedures are expensive. If love doesn't come my way one day. No child? So be it.
And to me, it's also careless to have kids at 40. People who do that fail to realize that the kids will be stuck in the nest taking care of their parents much sooner than expected and get robbed of launching their lives/careers in their 20s.
@@finchborat Ah, you people are overthinking everything ,as usual. People make their own choices and that's all there is to it.
@@nachannachle2706 I'm not overthinking this. I'm telling it like it is. I got robbed of getting my life/career going because of early caregiving. I'm still in the nest because of early caregiving.
People do make their own choices, but sometimes, they make the wrong choices.
Adoption is everyones problem - you could also ask why not traditional familys have 1 less child and adopt another one? - we all should take care of them not just the single moms or familys that have infertility...
All I know is that I want a child and I should be able to have one soon in the near future.....I am 38 now so I should have one by 41 or 42.....I hoping marriage/relationship for it so gotta lean on God.....I don’t wanna wait or have one too late in age so the sooner the better
What a huge child
I cant imagine having kids older than 30 😧
I wish I was as lucky as you and found a loving wonderful husband at a young age. Im 30, dating one year into a new relationship. My ex was abusive.....should I have stayed with him because it's so terrible to form a family after 30?....think not....good luck to yoh
And I can’t imagine having parents younger than 30 (mine were 33 and 36 when I was born)
Nah I’m good having my first baby at 23 🤰🏼 my mom had me at 41 because she had miscarriages for 10 years and she always has told me she wishes she could’ve been able to have kids way younger. Also I hardly know anyone who had kids in their 20’s whose kids have disabilities. 🤷🏼♀️
How many older people do you know?
My mom was 46. My twin and I are both healthy.
WE HAD OUR SON AFTER 40 I regret it so much we were so healthy and youthful thru out our 30s, that changed for me in my 40s and my husband passed in his early 60s. We were incredibly happy and thrilled with our son but now he is alone, with a disabled mother and his children will not have grand parents. He must face adulthood with no parents, It is so unfair to the children to start families so late. Sorry ladies you can't have it all ...choose. If you want children do it early having children later is incredibly selfish thinking only of yourself and parents who love their children would not do this anymore than I would bring children into an unstable relationship. I loved my future children enough to make sure I could afford them and give them two loving parents in a committed relationship but I didn't foresee the risks of over 40 parenthood. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Yes of course young parents can get sick and die too but your chance of that is greater as you age
As someone who was born to parents who were in their early 40s, I 100% agree. To me, as far as waiting until 40 to have kids, I view it as an act of carelessness, not fully thinking about things from the child's perspective. Those who wait to have kids need to realize that along with the chances of the kids seeing their parents die at a young age being high, them taking care of their parents at an earlier than expected age will also be high should the parents have kids after 40.
I'm hoping that (circumstances allowing) I'm a father well before 40 (or my late 30s) and not after. If I'm still childless by 40 but married, I'm adopting. I'll adopt a kid who would've been my biological child if I had him/her in my early to mid 30s.
fran zimmerman I'm sorry about your husband, I really am. But this regret just isn't necessary. I have met many people who lost a parent in their 30's and 40's, when they were between 12 and 18. Life is unpredictable. It sounds like your son was and still is very loved. If you had not taken the path you took, he would not exist. So I know deep down you don't regret having him. And to have HIM you had to be in your 40's. That's just how it worked out. Most 20 something's go through a period where they ditch their grandparents anyway. Many want to be free of their parents. But they are stuck with them. That's a common feeling that usually passes. If they are good, young people they help out willingly. I am an only child and I chose to stay near my parents because I'm all they have. I didn't have to do this, I wanted to, because it's what I know. And I feel like it's the right thing to do. It doesn't sound like you are forcing your son to stick around. Sounds like he wants to. Also sounds like he was a gift from God to you, considering your husband passed away so young. Your son will meet someone one day and settle down and start his own family. He won't be alone.
We are all free to make our own decisions but as an older parent I wanted to give my perspective. I could never foresee or avoid all the pitfalls of later parenting. The young man who responded was a child of older parents has his perspective. We both felt that this option is not best for the child so at least some people who have lived this......question the decision . You will do what you think us best for you and your child. Good luck .. God and nature is predisposed for us to have our children early not too early but young, If I could do it again and had the choice I would have done it earlier, Some people can learn from the mistakes of other most need to make the mistake anyway, and of course there are exceptional people and circumstances. I just wasn't one of them. I don't complain I had a great love and a wonderful husband and son. I just wish I had started earlier and for that matter had more children. @@karaa7595
What are you talking about? Some children are born orphans every day and will never have any biological "family" per say; though they will eventually find a social group to belong to.
How is your son in a worse position than them?
This is sickening
I'm 30 and people tell me I'm too old to have kids.
Samantha Withee 30 is not old at all
30 is actually the right time to have kids because your eggs still work well and you're young but at your age you're probably financially stable and not a child yourself anymore
probably how you look
They are ignorant people.
Where do you live? I’m in LA, and it’s considered weird if you have kids before 30. Lol.
personally I rather have a baby younger so that I could have more children and live to see all my family
This is random but Dr Newman looks like Dr Carol Dweck
It's just not fair it's easy for men to have children in their 40s or 50s when they're already established in their careers & financially well off. Whereas women have to have children in their 20s or 30s to have children or else the biological clock is gone sooner.
Why is career everything these days? I have 6 kids and will have more if I can. I have the rest of my life to pursue my own interests, but I won’t have my whole life to have kids.
Well, you can have kids until you are 50 nowadays.
But it all depends on your physical and mental health.
All the best with your bambini.
Amazing! Thanks for sharing :-)
Cannelloni Rose? Sounds delicious.
I would rather have my kids in my late twenties than in my forties! While I have my energy. Im not a career driven woman though..and I would like to enjoy my grandkids when Im not on my deathbed.
Karmen Fox it depends on your physical you have to know
It's not always a choice. If you haven't found the father untill after 40 or 45, so not a choice.
Its not something new.....
Children can kiss grandparents and great grandparent relationships goodbye. And the 40+ year old Mom won’t be the fun grandma, she’ll be the one with medical issues. I wish my mom didn’t have me old ☹️
And another disadvantage is that kids born to parents at 40+ will be taking care of them much sooner than expected. They're stuck in the nest and are unable to establish their own lives, careers, and families because of caregiving.
Horse girl 88 a lot of kids don't even see their grandparents often. Some have never met them. And their mom had them in her 20's.
That's such a broad generalisation!
Eh. I'm 20 and my mom is almost 67. I feel like she'll live long enough to be a grandmother.
BS.