The Surprising Truth About Making Babies Late | Reisa Pollard | TEDxVancouver
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- Опубликовано: 7 июн 2018
- Reisa Pollard is the founder and lead designer at Beyond Beige - a leading Vancouver based interior design firm. As a proclaimed late bloomer, she ventured to many parts of the world before discovering her calling as a designer. After getting married at 40, Reisa decided she wanted to have a family and embarked on a six-year odyssey to make it happen. She discovered along the way that there is no longer one approach to having a family and that choosing to have children
later in life is becoming the new normal. She has appeared on TV, spoken to live audiences, and has written countless articles for magazines. Reisa revels in the recreation of the spaces around her and the construction of immaculate solutions to any challenge that comes her way. Reisa Pollard is a local interior designer and entrepreneur. The elements she uses are often aesthetically inspired by her travel experiences. Reisa founded her interior design company Beyond Beige in 2003. She has been nominated for a number of design and business awards, including YMCA’s Woman of the Year. Reisa revels in the recreation of the spaces around her and the construction of immaculate solutions to any problem she’s faced with. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
People always refer to women who delay childbearing due to their career. But some of us just haven’t found anybody to procreate with 😒
It's a tough world to find the right person in these days, too!
I can relate to this 100%
So true! They are out there, but you have to be willing to sift through all of the fuckboys, video game addicts and middle aged divorced guys. Once you find "the one" you now have even more hurdles: relocation, finding a job and making new friends in whatever town you end up in. People underestimate the work, time and effort that goes into this!
Freeze your eggs ASAP!
Very true
My first son was born when I was 37, my second son was born three days after I turned 40. I've always wanted a family, but I never met that "right" man until my late 30's. Thank God that I did. I am truly blessed.
A very good point! Many people still cannot realise that you have to have a partner to have children with. All they say is don't wait until it is too late. Well OK, I won't wait I just cannot do it alone..
I needed that this morning!
I'm 35 and met my Mr. Right a year ago, and we want one or 2 kids so I'll probably have them at exactly the same ages at you!
@@saralysen at 37 I would not wait for mr. perfect anymore. I would put real effort into finding a partner who wants kids as well and just do it. Also even with the perfect partner, it could happen that you have to do it alone in the end. So just be a little more courageous if you really want kids! Life is not perfect.
katiejon17 God bless you and your family!
My mom had me at 40 and it was an amazing experience. She had her life so together and was such a good mommy
Here's to your Mom and to you too for honouring your great Mom. Now pass it on :)
Proud of her ...
yakashi what? Lol even now she’s moving fine 🤣 she’s still a nurse and thriving and still loving me and supporting me. Bye
@@mcmoy214that's even worse. I bet many kids asked you where's your parents.
you know what I mean😏
(great you have loving parents👍)
yakashi literally no one asked that. They were never not there. I’m sorry for your parental experience you seem to have a pessimistic world view!
Somehow, some way , I'm pregnant at 39 . After intensive chemo treatment . Told I could never have another child . without even trying ,she came . she's my rainbow after the storm . here for a reason.....thank you for this amazing gift
Amen! Congratulations! I hope you are well and that your pregnancy is smooth and you have a healthy child. Be happy.
If you or anybody you know have symptoms of mental health issues or other health issues like autoimmune please look into the Andy Cutler protocol. If you google «Rebecca Lee Andy Cutler Weston Price» you will find a great article explaining why and how it works, it is worth your rime. And if you google «andy cutler success stories» you will be able to read peoples experience with it, and many more and great support from knowledgable people if you join the Facebook group
Fantastic congratulations
That's Incredible
💕🌈💕
My mom had me at 43. I'm now 36 and she's 78. Older parents are awesome.
Thank you thank you thank you for saying that. I had my son at 44 and am having such fun (hes 8 now) but worry about being 78...80 with him. Keeping fit happy and healthy and just needed to hear you, or hear from a child of an older mama that you're happy!
@@judykibinge8863I believe the secret is to take care of your health and never call or think of yourself as old. Kid's don't care about age anyways, they just want to love their mom. Your son is indeed blessed :)
Plus he'll keep you in check from ever truly acting like a senior citizen!
♥️🌹🎈
And when you have kids, they can babysit all the time! It has a lot of advantages to daycare.
Makes me feel good I had my daughter at 42 and now she’s 18. All her friends always comment how young I look ! I try to stay healthy and young I believe my daughter kept me going and somehow young😊
I had my daughter at 40. My mom had my youngest sister at 43. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL GIFT FROM GOD
I pray that all women regardless of age who wish to be a mom, be gifted with a child.
I pray so too. It is so painful
That is the only dream I’ve dreamt that I’m waiting to make come true. I’m 41 and still waiting
God bless you♥️🥰 Emeraude Hime
Thank you
Amen 🙏🏼
I’m 34 and I have wanted to settle down and start a family since 24, I just haven’t met the right person and had many lessons to learn in the realm of relationships and self. So no, not all women are delaying because of career
I am with you on this. It's hard to just find someone and get to that happy place where you both want to get married and start trying. It's quite isolating to hear the difficulties that a 'stage' comes with, when I haven't even reached that stage. It's like thanks I'll just put those problems yet to come, on a shelf whilst i deal with todays problem of getting there in the first place :(
Me too.
I hope you find someone :)
Super delayed comment but just watching this video now...
You are so right. All my relationships were "okay" (or a disaster), until I met my boyfriend at age 30. I'm 33 now and we're trying to figure out when/where/how to buy a home, and then after we will discuss children. I'll be 35, at least. However, I'm not as worried about it because I have HIM. He said no matter if we can have kids or not, we will figure it out together. Everyone else wanted me to fit into their lives. There are so many bad fits and also poor quality men. They have no life skills, they don't think about how they want their lives to go, and don't reflect on their values. They are overgrown boys. You will meet your guy! Keep your heart open.
Thank you! I actually didn’t think I wanted children until I was 32 as I thought my mission to help people was too big, and then I realized I could do both and I started to really want them…and now I’m about to turn 35 and felt like time was running out. I know I’ve got to get a move on but this was encouraging thank you
Thank you,I am 45 7 miscarriages down, 1 round of failed IVF, and I am now 7 weeks 4 days pregnant and am terrified. I chose not to keep it under wraps as like you I believe that this is not talked about enough. I am hoping and preying that this time we will be successful.
🙏praying for you.
I'm sorry to hear that. God bless you and your baby. 🙏🏼
Wishing you all the best!!
@@fateemahbaby03 If she's doing IVF then her doctors already have her on progesterone. She's likely in good hands.
Aww congrats i pray you have a safe delivery
I had my first at 22 and my last at 44. People thought I was crazy. Maybe I was, but I felt like a much better mom in my 40's than I was in my 20's.
Hello pretty lady how are you doing today I hope you are doing well and I really appreciate you being my fans 💓💓💓💓💓
That's because you are crazy.
@@saraaaa8642 My dear why do you say so.
@@saraaaa8642 your crazy.
@@saraaaa8642 So what it happens by accident too. Men need to not have kids so late too so they can live until their kid turns 30 at least
I had my only child at 41, why did I wait a combination of things bad relationships, immaturity, travel, career . God blessed me with one last gum ball. The doctor told me I had zero chances and the next month I was pregnant.
RC CGC nothing is impossible with God
@@Amani715 yeah that's what the people who kill in gods name say....
Doctors only go off statistics. I wouldn't put my trust in one.
As far as I am concerned there is no divine power
I had my daughter after 4 pregnancy losses at 43 1/2 years old. She’s an intelligent, vibrant, beautiful, humble hearted and loved by many little girl. I’m 52 years old and she’s 8. I’m grateful that The Lord blessed me with her and she’s also the first and only child of my ex who is 47. We are blessed! I experienced losses but in the end, I’ve experienced great joy by having her, my miracle baby at a late age. ❤️
I am 40. Scarred by childhood abuse and a very bad marriage that left me with issues that I am still working through.
I am looking for love again because I finally came to terms with the fact that I want more for my life than hiding from the possibility of making the same mistake twice. And I really want my own baby. Even 1. Wish me luck...pray for me..I need all the positive energy I can get right now.
It really is kinda easier to open up to a stranger ain't it?
Naturally? Only if you don't mind me asking.
I'm 42 and trying for my first naturally.
Had 1st at 40, 2nd at 42. Failed invitro, but got pregnant on my own after. My sister had a baby at 45. All healthy. Met their father late in life. Don't give up, if its what you want. But a wise nurse asked me once, "do you want a baby or to be a parent?". Because these are 2 different things. There is always a child out there who needs a loving parent. 💕🦉
That is soooo true. “Do you want to be pregnant…? Or be a parent?”…. because Yes, there are a lot of babies as well as children that NEED a loving home 🏡😇💕
Did your sister conceive naturally at 45?
Mom was 48, dad 54. God bless them. So today I learned I am a product of a lottery!
If you or anybody you know have symptoms of mental health issues or other health issues like autoimmune please look into the Andy Cutler protocol. If you google «Rebecca Lee Andy Cutler Weston Price» you will find a great article explaining why and how it works, it is worth your rime. And if you google «andy cutler success stories» you will be able to read peoples experience with it, and many more and great support from knowledgable people if you join the Facebook group
@Persona non grata AMEN.
Basilis Tsakalos was it IVF from frozen eggs or was your mom still making eggs?
@@shaktizoom5236 still making.
I really appreciate you sharing that! I'll be 44 this year & I'm still hoping.
My wife had a child at 51 and I was 54, my child turned out healthy.
What an incredible story! So happy for all of you
Love L god has blessed
Thank you for sharing... this gives us hope, one who went through or are going through the miscarriages and all the other pain. Thank you 🙏
wow
Wow! What a blessing! Was the baby naturally conceived?
I waited till I was 39 to get pregnant. I had my baby at 40!!! Healthy girl!
I had my first child at 40. A great blessing!
Why did you wait so long? The later you have children, the older you will be when your children are in their teens or even in their twenties. I am 56, never had children and I have no regrets and I am way too old to start a family.
@@patricksaxon3983 My first wife could not have children, in which I did not mind. We were together for 15 years before she passed away. Later I met second wife and she gave me a daughter. Being an older parent has advantages in being stable financially, emotionally and mentally. These are the best gifts you can give a child. However now i have to stay in shape and eat healthy
Metrius congrats!
@@LondonsLanding thanks!
@@coachdemetrius Meanwhile parents who had kids young aren't judge for the bad health choices.
I was 43 when I had my son. I am so lucky to have him. I love him more than the whole world, and he is the best boy ever. Make every moment count.
Please quit encouraging other women to wait so late. You're one of lucky few. Most women are unable to conceive so late. Women in their 20s are more ideal. Now you'll be in your 60s before your child graduates from university.
A Googler Yes you are!
@Lauren King Thanks! That's true. I actually regret not starting sooner. I had actually resigned myself to not having children because I thought I couldn't have them.
I dont care if I'm in my late 60S when my kid graduates university, and it's wonderful that you believe in him that way.
I made the comment because I felt compassion for the woman because of all the miscarriages she had, I had those too. I think in order to truly understand the pain of a miscarriage, one would have to experience it, personally.
My life is beautiful, and my son is perfect. We could all be wiped out by a meteorite tommorow.
And you're so right. I am very lucky.
Your comment is hateful . Everybody’s story is different.
💙💚💛💜
I had just turned 47 when my boy was born. He was a surprise pregnancy, and all the tests were comparable to a healthy woman in her 20's. When I got pregnant I was very healthy, physically active, vegetarian. I believe these were positive contributors for my pregnancy and delivery. He was born 20 minutes after arriving to the birthing center, (the midwife said there was no time to fill up the tub, as we had planned for a water birth). The doctor told me that if I wanted another one, I should get pregnant right away. I wasn't sure, so I didn't. My boy is now 5, my husband and I are in our early 50's and feel blessed and grateful. 🙏💖
I am 46 and 24 week pregnant, I was caught the first time I did not use any birth control x
How awesome
Woooow
God Bless🥰 that’s amazing.
Nilda Wellness that is sooo cute.
Had my baby at 39 and he’s perfect in every way and I’m in a good place financially and emotionally .
roro1980 congratulations 🎊 what makes me mad is mike Jagger in his 70s Michael Douglas in his 60s and nothing said...
Congrats!! That’s so inspiring...I just received my doctorate and I’m turning 36...I just got engaged to an amazing man who’s 7 years younger...I held out on starting a family for the same reasons, financial security and gaining enough life experience to be spiritually centered and emotionally ready. At times I second guessed my choice to wait, I never truly had a biological clock, but it has “begun to tick” now that I reached my milestone and found someone I want to raise a family with. I was concerned that the odds would be against me, but I believed in the timing of my life’s purpose and wouldn’t give up on achieving my professional dreams. Hearing that you have a beautiful baby at 39 reinforces my confidence that my timeline is right and everything will work out wonderfully! Enjoy your new bundle and the amazing journey you’ll have!
@@lionessstarseed6812 you don’t know if your timeline is right but I wish it is. Don’t be too confident to avoid delusions my dear. Her story won’t necessarily be like yours.
Thank u for saying that
Had my child at 38. ZERO REGRETS. Not everyone fits into the same box. I am far better equipped to be a great parent than my 20’s. Had friends have more than 1 baby after age 42. Zero help. Life doesn’t always work out how you want. You just have to roll with it.
Life Is Good Thank you for this. 🙏🏼 Your words have helped me a lot as a 33-year old panicking over babies.
Zoe Martin You’re welcome! I didn’t marry until 36. Met my husband at 34. Read Airelle Ford’s book Soulmate Secret if you’re single or Spirit Babies if you’re married or in a relationship hoping to have babies. Our train never misses us. You can’t f*ck up what’s meant to be ❤️❤️
GeetaRao LOVE Dr. Northrup for all women!!! She’s phenomenal!
Thank you
Thank you so much for this comment, you’re so right not everyone fits into the same box and we all have our individual paths. Stories like yours are so comforting when I feel anxious ♥️
My mom gave birth to my brother at 46, and my dad was 53. My brother is 14 now, and one of the smartest people I know.
Yeah like outliers definethe norm lol
Love this . I wish your brother and parents a happy health life .
@@thepanafricanempire Nobody said here it easy or that this one anecdotal experience defies the reality of late pregnancy. You have been just told one successful story of an outlier, nothing else. Take a chill pill and stop trying to read between the lines when nothing is actually to find there.
@@d1oftwins it's miss leading. By definition it's going to be statistically unlikely . Tell people the statistical trjfg
@@thepanafricanempire How is telling a personal, anecdotal story misleading? The intend was NOT about "you can do it too by defying statistics", it was about telling a story how one person got lucky. The original poster was nowhere near suggesting, neither directly nor indirectly, that the personal experience is applicable to others. You still didn't manage to understand that you are reading into something that isn't there. You seem to have a hard time to accept that someone telling a story is just someone telling a story and nothing more.
I got married at 38, pregnant at 39 and had a baby at 40. Two miscarriages after that so I stopped trying after MC #2. My son has been a blessing to us since the day he was born and I wouldn't trade him for a houseful of kids. Be thankful and happiness is yours!
I have 4 children, started at 29. I am a stay at home mom and this is also a taboo. Mothers now a days have to have children and have to work. I think this world is insane. I am happy to be a stay at home mom, but I think that people find a taboo in everything. Good for you, you chose work first and stared a family later. But women need to stand together more instead of criticizing. Because whatever we do, there seems to be something wrong always. Let’s stand together! X
Kayla Coffey absolutely!
I agree. There is so much shame around motherhood... Women attacking each other over it is the worst. (I am 31, no partner and no children, but I want both... Wish me luck!!!)
In Germany moms stay at home 3 years,not all of course but most of them in this period have second child
My babies were born when I was 37 and 40. I stopped working to stay home (still have my RN, but only pick-up maybe once a month). We are doing just fine. Everyone has to make a sacrifice, you just have to decide what yours will be. Most of us can have extra money and sacrifice time with your children, or you can sacrifice income, go without non-essentials, and get to have time with your children. Our family chose to live frugally so that I’m home.
Esje Besje My mom was a stay at home mom too. For the major part of my childhood. I am very thankful for that 🙏🏼❤️ Whatever your choice is, as long as you do what is necessary for you and your family, that’s the right thing to do. Being a stay at home mom can be a real challenge, and a ton of work. I have respect for those who choose that pathway. I also have respect for those who choose differently. For those who chose not to have kids, for those who chose to be working moms. ❤️
If it's a family you want consider adopting. There are so many children that need loving homes. I was a foster child and it changed my life.
I agree, I was adopted at 16 . changed my life . $40,000 could easily have covered adoption of children who were not planned and unwanted .
Such a wonderful option. So many children in the world could be loved and cared for.
Some people want their own
@@jennywinter3025 of course people want their own, if they are having extreme difficulties like 5 miscarriages and multiple failed in vitro attepts they should take adoption or fostering into consideration and can still try for their own. It's well known that overpopulation is already a major concern regarding our limited resources.
@Diana Suarez yes my point is that if someone is having multiple failed in vitro they should consider alternatives to having a family.
Maybe I am the exception
At 42 they said I couldn’t have kids without going through a process
As soon as I got off birth control “surprise I got pregnant “ so no it doesn’t apply to everyone
For some reason I read through this whole comment section; found it interesting. No one is talking about the dads here just blaming it on the women that having children is getting delayed. What about men who are disinterested in having children in their twenties and thirties? What about men seeking an economic partner not a woman to provide for?
Uh, women are so busy with having it all and pursuing careers, that their fertility doesn't even register til it's too late. Many women have relationship options in their younger years they just delay them cause...feminism says so.
Unbelievable, but I guess I’m not surprised.
@@sealskin5221 Feminism didn't dictate what anybody will or won't do in their beds and lives. The only reason women who might also happen to be feminists don't want kids at '20s or 30's- myself included- is bc we don't want to! Groundbreaking and radical, I know! What a mindblowing fact that we are actually ALLOWED to have a choice that does NOT impact you or any other woman who wishes otherwise but of course you had to bring up feminism as a negative cause and be loud about how much "better" you are for opposing to it. Good luck with whatever you wish in your life but let other women decide for theirs in peace without being another unnecessary judgemental mouth.
@@lyannastark2410 don't ya bow that head qween , yo crown might fall , good luck with them cats;);)
How is that a mans fault? You find a man that wants kids and can provide...if you cant that's life or its other options to have a kid or kids in your life.
I decided to try have a baby for the first time when I turned 40... it took me two months/ tries.... this does NOT has to be your experience.... Im 32 weeks pregnant now; no complications at all, At my emotionally and financially healthiest and stable I have ever being. Cant wait for my baby boy
Im 37 trying for my third and no luck to now. I bet you just let it be and let nature take its course
I think that was the point of this video though. people make is seem like it easy but there are actually women out that in their 40's struggling to have children
@@ChellBellll women can struggle before that sometimes but women do have less time than men
How are u now?
@@michellejohnson9177 who asked u for the comment with facts everyone knows about? U wanna look smarter or what? Useless
My parents had me and my sister very late in life, 45/49 for my sister. Having “older” parents was amazing for us! We had financial stability, parents without a ton of friend or relationship drama, and they were established in their career which allowed them more flexibility in their schedule to be at all of our events and drop us off and pick us up from school everyday. I don’t plan on having children, but if I ever did, I would absolutely wait until “later” in life.
Did she conceived naturally? Only if you don't mind me asking.
Love your comment! I've never thought of it this way.
@Justyna Stefania I. why does it bother you?
@Justyna Stefania I. My mom had me at 45, I have 5 kids and we love visiting her still! You never know 🙂
Then it will be more difficult I wouldn't wait too long.
My mom had me at 37 and my brother at 42. We are both fine and I never felt we had “old” parents or were embarrassed. I’m 32 now and my husband and I are just starting to think about our own plans... it’s nice to be a little farther along in both our careers
My physician had 6 kids after the age of 36, 1 set of twins. Natural. She’s now in her 70s and an amazing doctor and human! ❤
Wow! Was that her plan? Did she intentionally wait?
@@nataliaonaire med school and residency takes up A LOT of your time. Depending on residency, by the time you are done, you could be anywhere from 30+. (My ex just finished surgical residency at age of 33).
First child at 30, he’s 14 now and brilliant. Second at 33, now 12 and such a blessing to all who come in contact. Third at 42, and while it was difficult it was still a great pregnancy, my daughter is 2 and so smart and sweet and an absolute doll. I wouldn’t change a thing about time frames and thank God daily for my blessings.
Hello pretty lady how are you doing today I hope you are doing well and I really appreciate you being my fans 💓💓💓
Lovely!
Miscarriages are so common it's so sad that women are embarrassed to talk about it. It could really help relieve some grief to know that it's just nature
right i wish when I had a miscarriage I knew it was actually really common ,I felt so alone
@@janette499 my sister had 2 miscarriages and she really mourned and felt like a failure. It's ok to feel sad but to feel at fault comes from misinformation.
Miscarriage is not common, it’s becoming common.
@@xDDufiosy Every single woman in my family going back generations has had a miscarriage. It has always been common it is just hidden, it is considered shameful and you are a failure for having it happen. The reason you hear more about it is because there are now more women in the world than ever before and we now talk about it, we share information and we help each other. It is 100% common.
@@xDDufiosy It has always been common. It's just more talked about now than it used to be.
the lady really has a sense of humor even when she faces difficulties in life.
That the only way we can make it through sometimes.. ✨🙏🏾✨
Not being able to reproduce is the blessing
If you or anybody you know have symptoms of mental health issues or other health issues like autoimmune please look into the Andy Cutler protocol. If you google «Rebecca Lee Andy Cutler Weston Price» you will find a great article explaining why and how it works, it is worth your rime. And if you google «andy cutler success stories» you will be able to read peoples experience with it, and many more and great support from knowledgable people if you join the Facebook group
My mom gave birth to my beautiful sister at age of 52. I'm a 25 proud big sister. :D
I’m 42 and I have a 4 year old. I have to say I never ever worried when I was 37/38 trying to get pregnant. Your health plays a MAJOR role in your fertility and I was far healthier in my late 30’s than my 20-something year old self. So I beat the odds 👍🏻
Tell me your ways!
A famous actress in Brazil just had a baby at 56.
I’m 43 and will start the baby-making these coming days.😊
I don’t focus on statistics, nor in negative testimonies. Each body has its own story.
I’m physically and emotionally healthy, never done drugs, don’t drink, exercise often, had my first period at 14, my period is regular, all my gynecological exams and blood test are great, there’s no family history of infertility, my husband is 12 years younger than me, and I have faith that I’ll give birth to children. I have no pressure and timeline. I’m happy and fulfilled in my life. The babies will come whenever God decides to send them. 😊
I have some news: I got pregnant in the second month since trying. My husband and I are thrilled.
What did we do?
Healthy lifestyle, prenatal prior to conception, co-enzyme Q10, peaceful mindset, and faith that God is who creates life, not us.
My husband also quit the beet he had once a week, took the co-enzyme Q10, kept exercising, and avoiding the cellphone in the front pocket.
Any help helps. 😊
One more thing must be added: I had no obligation to get pregnant. I wanted to have our child, but I’ve always considered other possibilities to becoming a mother. That took a lot of the pressure off my shoulders and I was rewarded with the great news that our first baby is on the way and will be born in April 2024.
If I could give you one tip: do not take to your heart any negative thing about getting pregnant after 40’s. Just say: “I will be fine” and “that won’t be the case for me”. God is who create life, not us, so if you can, pray for the great honor of raising one or more of His children. 🥰
@UniversalSalvation, thank you for that positive comment.
@@UniversalSalvation how old are you if you don't mind me asking
What a beautiful mentality ! I’m so happy for you. May God bless your family ❤️
Had my first at 39 and second at 41- both massive and healthy.
Wow at 43, trying to get pregnant, I so needed to hear this. Today is my ovulation day. I laughed and cried watching this! I’m so thankful for this message. Wish me luck sisters…
Please go on and have your baby, I'm playing on having my 3rd at about your age!
God Bless you Sadie, don’t give up! Three sons here born when I was 40, 42 and 44!
How are things going?
Wishing you all the best! ❤
I had my daughter at 37, I am glad that I had her "late". I got to travel and design build a house before having her, things that are more difficult to do when you are young with a child.
This is my exact thought process. Establishing structure for myself then adding children into the picture.
If you want to be a mother nothing should stop you. A couple of years ago I had an ectopic pregnancy. Later I had a miscarriage. Then I had 3 IVF rounds and all failed. I'm almost 46. I've been dreaming about having children for my whole life. I just couldn't have them. This is not my fault. Those who claim 'have kids in your 20's or don't have them at all' probably just have no idea how it feels when you try but nothing works. This is so rude to tell such things to someone who is struggling with infertility. I'm not giving up! I'm about to start mitochondrial donation. My chances are pretty high with this treatment. So I do believe it will work. I want to be a mother. And I know I will be a great mother!
Tara Blane I hope you get your miracle baby soon! 💕
All the best!
Why not adopt some kid? There are so many orphan kids around the world!
@@sonur5080 come on, thats a rather insensitive comment. Many women want to experience their own child in their belly!
I KNOW YOU'LL HAVE A HEALTHY BABY. Stay positive 🥰
Thank you for making this video. There's a lot of reason that people put off having kids: not finding the right person, not having the financial security, having unresolved trauma from their family...In a perfect world, we would all be able to start in our late 20's. And even for some of my friends who did start then and battled with infertility for over a decade, this video is relevant. Because no one talks about miscarriage.
It is really not very good to wait so long as biologically could cause problems in late term pregnancy in older age.
Oh @@patricksaxon3983, you're so helpful aren't you!
That's sarcasm. It's fantastic that you've decided not to have children but why bother questioning other people's choices? I'd rather see someone have a baby at 40 or even 50 than at 15. Of course teens can be good parents, but older adults are less self- absorbed and more likely to provide the child with stability and emotional support.
@@nomadicam 40 or 50 is very unrealistic. I didn't see him being rude, just truthful. Your last cycle might have been your last. You don't always get warning. Could happen any time after 40. Can adopt. Foster kids. All kinds of other options. I have friends who have kids I can borrow. That's ideal.
I actually wanted to have 2nd baby at 32. But I didnt realized that my partner cant have more children because of his alkolism. I was young and innocent and mept on trying. I now u derstood Ive been lied to and manipulated. I turned i to IVF failed 3x. But I noticed that the clinic was milking me. I stop going there totally. Its horrible and devastating to loose them when they theyre 7 weeks already. But I will try again becasue I feel that I am healthy and I can still bear a child. Its bad when youre qith the wrong person.
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 40's is unrealistic?!... Man, you are not a lady are you? We don't become unable to have kids at that age... Menopause usually come at 50's, but it can also come at 40's (less percentage) and , yes, even 30's. And i have seen 20 year old girls have problems conceiving... So... Genetics, life style, hormones all play the part...
To have a child you and your partner should be
1. Mentally stable 2. Financially stable 3. Emotionally stable. If you don't have all of these down you and your partner shouldn't have babies yet.
Amen. Create healthy children to become health adults.
4. on the same page when it comes to having kids. Duh.
@@Ninitschga yes 👏
I call bs on your second point. What is financially stable?
@@djbolling How old are you? Even a 10 year old knows what financial stability means.
My mum had me at 37. I’m 28 now, 7 weeks away from having my first and she’ll be 65 and we have the most amazing relationship. She gave me a beautiful life, lacked nothing and had a wholesome childhood. All this age did alone. Our relationship is so valuable to me, looking forward to this new adventure together
Yes there is a risk to delaying motherhood, however i believe the risks associated with having children young/to the wrong partner are far greater. More often than not, if you're not set up well in life with the correct partner, parenthood should ideally be delayed untill one can provide a decent life for a child.
MaraaMay West yes but there’s not a lack of education about risks associated with young motherhood. In school you’re only taught about how not to become pregnant you’re never taught about fertility cycles. Most women are completely unaware and get exploited by these industries. Most women can’t afford ivf and egg freezing, so it would be nice if education taught both sides.
MaraaMay West I absolutely love this! 💜 Thank you for talking words of sense. Bless you; Merry Christmas! 🎄🥂🎁🙏🏼🥰
If you can't conceive there is always adoption.
such a good point!
@@ADerpyReality This. I have zero plans to have children now in my late twenties and zero worries about having children later, because of adoption. The emphasis on biological children doesn't mean anything to me, and probably a lot of others. If my body calls it quits whenever I finally decide to try to have my own, no biggie, because plenty of kids need homes as it is.
We as a society need to start being real with ourselves about fertility. I am glad this lady got her 2 babies but what a gut punch of a story.
also need to talk about the rise and risk of autism and other complications with late pregnancies
@Lauren King You don't need to look any further as to visiting a country where biology is still taken into account, eg. former Soviet Union republics and see that autism is virtually non-existent especially among the generation born before Soviet Union collapse pre 1990s.
There a woman above 25 is considered high risk, especially if it's her first birth.
They might have changed the narration in the West to make women work longer but that goes at the expense of those women who can't realised they were duped by the society into thinking they can give birth at any age.
💯🎯💯🎯💯
@@ikaustralia 25? I don't know where you are getting your numbers from but no, it is not 25, it's 35. Just like everywhere else.
@@rossgeography
Autism is not as risk for later pregnancies, Down's is. The Amish have no autism. They don't vaccinate.
When i was in my 20s I was struggling to survive, working 2 jobs, renting a room in a roach - infested apartment, no LTRs because i simply was too tired to work on them; then got sick and for about 4 years was on immunosuppresant treatments, etc- should i have had a baby then? Huh? And now in my early 30s im looking for a decent man to start a family. If I can't find him, i'll do IVF. I want children of my own, and you can't put me or any other 30+ woman in the "you should've popped out one at 25" box because YOU DON"T KNOW OUR LIFE STORIES AND OUR REASONS.
I think one of the ideas of this presentation isn't to pop them out now, but to look into freezing your eggs early and to be aware of the risks/benefits of waiting. I'm almost 35. By that age, my chance of genetic anomalies will be triple that of younger women. By 40, it's nine times higher. I have made the personal choice to stop trying for a natural birth after age 35. Furthermore, if I could've avoided some of the insane costs of fertility clinics by starting earlier, I might've changed my mind about my childbearing timing. I went to a fertility specialist last year due to my PCOS. Despite knowing I had PCOS, I was required to spend thousands of dollars in lab work and testing to confirm that was the issue. I only made it half way thru the investigation period because I couldn't afford it, so I never made it to the recommended treatment section.
In summary, I feel that this presenter may have missed the mark in her manner of presenting the information, but what she shared is really quite valuable. It doesn't have to dictate your choices, but it is incredibly useful as an informative tool.
She was simply saying freeze your eggs.
@@starkeclipse my wife has pcos & i found it a blessing in disguise. we never wanted kids, anyway.
Yes,have kids on your own, that'll be great for them.
Despite being on birth control at 37 with 52 yr old husband had the surprise of my life, another healthy baby boy who is now 24. Glad the birth control failed!
I had my daughter right before turning 40. Im now 43 and pregnant again. I'd suffered multiple miscarriages and 2 stillbirths at near full term prior to my daughters birth. So don't give up ladies. You never know what life has in store for you.
Hugs.
I've never miscarried, 2 pregnancies in my life, two healthy babies. I was 35 and 38 yrs old at time of deliveries. AND I have PCOS....still I got preggo naturally and no meds.
Candy Smith any vitamins or supplements that you feel have helped? Congratulations !
You are a living testimony..it’s about your health and your faith..Age has only a small percentage
Same with me. Have PCOS AND had 2 natural and healthy pregnancies. Didn't know about it in till I had 1 miscarriage after the first baby.
Weird flex, but ok
Mohamed Elmasri my thoughts exactly
Loved this talk. However, not all of us are just focusing on career and waiting until later to have kids. Some of us just struggle finding men, for whatever reasons not all of us find it easy to just get a man and get married. I've been available to get married and have kids since I was 26, even with my own apartment, and I'm still trying to find a man at 33. Is not only women taking longer but life also happens.
True, life happens.
My life.
Yep, relationships themselves are hard. People are defensive and cynical these days, how are you supposed to even get on the road to parenthood? Let alone marriage?
Where are you from. Is it okay to be a single parent in your country? If yes you should think about it.
@@TheMemoryPolice thanks for the comment. I really don't care much about what is OK in my country, I live by my own values. Although people in my country don't care, I do not think is the best for the kids. I'm the only daughter of a divorce so I know what I'm talking about. Prefer not to have kids than doing that to my children. Thanks anyways.
God's timing is always perfect!
Always!!!
Amen 🙏🏼
I had my daughter at 31. I was never able to get pregnant again even with help from the Dr. If I had it to do over, I wouldn’t wait so long. I was told I had until 35. It wasn’t true for me. We decided to be happy for what we had. It was the best decision I ever made.
What I mean is that going through fertility treatments is so hard that it was a terrible time in my life. Giving it up was such a relief.
Lara Jernegan I’m almost 29 and feel like I’m running out of time... I’m not ready for a baby though. Idk if I should just not have any but my mom had 3 healthy kids all later in life, me when she was 35, my brother at 37 and my other brother at 42 so I’ll probably be okay.
@@pawsnotclaws2772 im 40 I have a 2 and 3 year old. Dont feel you need to rush. Sure get a fertility check but dont feel your running out of time. Youre not in youre 30s yet sweetie.
You can have fertility issues in your 20s too. Eggs are not as quality 40+ but you still produce eggs so its possible.
Jenna thank you ☺️ this was comforting
Paws Not Claws Good luck to you! I hope you are able to have the family you desire. 🙂
I did not know that the odds were so low after 40. My sister did two successful IVF at 43 and 45. So there are more chances than you think.
Absolutely
I laughed when she mentioned our eggs age like our great-grandmas. In 1911, my great-grandma had a baby at age 46 💝
right! before the invention of birth control, having babies at a later age wasn't something abnormal or "selfish" or strange.
My gma, mom and sis all had kids in their 40s. Im 38 and like huh? 😮😂
Had my baby at 41, one month after stopping my birth control pill. no issues with pregnancy BUT the lack of energy is a big factor why I won’t have another child.
There is hope at any age, our bodies are meant for this. Good luck to everyone trying or for those who choose not to.
What do you mean by the lack of energy? Do you mean during pregnancy or after?
@Anonymous Panacea three of my closest friends had their children in their twenties - one is severely autistic, one has dyspraxia, the other had a traumatic birth resulting in hemiplegia. Another school friend had her daughter at 27, another traumatic birth, and the child is severely disabled as a result. These children are very much loved, but were all born to twenty something mothers. The risk is there for everyone.
@Shammy M totally respect your decision to do that. In the case of the last friend that I mentioned, it was 100% the hospitals fault. In one other, the friend needed an emergency c-section, and prior to that her baby was healthy. Had she not been in hospital though, they both would have died. The risks are there whatever your age, wherever you give birth. Pregnancy is risky, and women deserve respect, whatever their choices.
@Anonymous Panacea having children is never greedy. Why would you say that?
@Anonymous Panacea I have zero interest in having children actually. I'll leave that to everyone else. I would rather stick pins in my eyes. But each to their own
I got pregnant at 42 and she came out beautiful and it was easy
Good for you! I bet you would have the same experience at 20. Its your genetics.
My pregnancy and birth sucked at 25 and I don't want to test how it would be at 40. Bet the same, probably much worse.
Congratulations Girlfriend!! Did you get pregnant natuarlly? Did you use IVF or any supplements? I’m 38 and trying to hard to maintain hope.🙏🏼
Wow you're goal! I'm 40 and I wanna have my first kid at 41 & 42🙏🏿
I was 42 too! We were all natural.
@@letitrejo9332 all natural during pregnancy I did walk a lot I had no car and lived on small island
I’m 44 and 32 wks pregnant with baby #4
God is good!
Good for you!! Yes God is good! I'm hitting 40 just had a baby she's 1 and want my third at 42-43!! I could careless about negative comments, not our business ❤
How was your pregnancy
My aunt had her last baby at 49 and lived into her 90s.
Hello do not loss all hope in getting a child
I was once in your condition 11yrs with no children
Until I saw a pregnancy/fertility spell caster papa legba he help healed me of my barreness
He can also solve you problems or situation message him on WhatsApp
+2:3:4:9:0:7:0:1:4:2:0:1:8:
Laughing and crying at the same time. I'm 43 going through similar experiences. This was so therapeutic. Thank you for sharing this story! ❤😊
Let's also talk about how miscarriage is very common at all ages
I had 2 back-to-back miscarriages within 6 months when I was in my mid 20s. I remember feeling "defective", sad, and angry, but determined. My doctor just said "these things sometimes happen", encouraged me to keep trying, and told me he would run some tests if I had a 3rd miscarriage. Nine months later, I gave birth to a healthy child, then had another healthy child 3 years later.
Many years later, the unexpected happened. At the age of 42, I became pregnant & miscarried at 8 weeks. Over the next 4 years, I had 3 more miscarriages. I almost lost my mind with grief & anger. I heard just about everything from well meaning people..."at least you don't have trouble getting pregnant"..."you already have 2 beautiful children, be happy about that"..."you'll be in your 60s when he/she graduates from high school!"..."you can't be serious, why would you want to have another child at your age?"...and so on. I wasn't planning to have more children, but after the first pregnancy, I felt an overwhelming drive that's difficult to explain. I'm sure it was fueled by hormones, and the fact that my marriage had been failing and I (regretfully) thought a child would keep us together. We divorced in 2014.
All the women I know around me had miscarriages in their 20s
Hello pretty lady how are you doing today I hope you are doing well and I really appreciate you being my fans 💓💓💓💓
I had my first at 15 and my 3rd at 40. The first was a surprise and the third was meticulously planned and fortunately, we got him on the first try! 3 natural births.
I was surprised at how much more physically difficult the last was. I was in good shape and mentally & emotionally healthy. Fortunately all 3 are healthy and I feel extremely blessed. Thanks for this talk!
Part of why we are delaying motherhood is not the lack of want but because we need to have tons of $ before having a kid in the U.S. because even with health insurance and responsible savings, our family could go bankrupt from an emergency c section with postnatal care, for example. Cost of living is high, we have no paid maternity leave, high cost health insurance (ex. Being taken unconscious to an out of network hospital in an emergency could also cause bankruptcy) and our culture is so into independence that family doesn't or can't help out enough so that "village" is gone and annonymous expensive childcare is there instead.
Obviously people still have kids before financial security but for us planners, having kids before we can afford the security and quality of life that a family deserves, is too much of a dice roll.
One of my daughter's is like that always planning. Her husband got a good job she could easy stay home for a few year's. I told her to have a child because she will regret it if her clock runs out. Life is never perfect. People manage by economising and spoilt children are not liked by their peers.
I agree. If I didn’t have to worry about an emergency csection and other possible health problems ( anything can happen), I would have one now at 24.
Preach!! 🙌 I would love to have a baby now at 25, but the cost is insane!
I really feel that this is not accurate. In the last 4 years, my husband and I have had two children, I left my job as an RN so now we make half of what we used to make. It’s amazing how much money you don’t waste when you meal plan, cook at home, and stick to a budget.
America healthcare is very greedy and corrupt. In the 60s average american worker only had to work 78 hours to cover cost of healtcare for the whole family. By 2012, 452 hours, Even worse now. I read about it.
Wow. I had my son at the age of 40. However, I was super healthy, constantly worked out and basically the body of a 30 year old. No complications what so ever. I never realized how truly blessed I was to not experience any additional problems due to my age. He is a super healthy baby boy too.
My wife is 39 and we just found out we're having our third (SURPRISE!!!). Thats why I'm here watching. Our boys are 11 and 8 :)
David Casper congrats! That’s awesome:)
Good Luck 🙏🏻
Congrats!!!
My mom had me at 40❤️❤️❤️❤️God is good
To give some women hope for having a baby a bit later in life, I had my first child at 37 and pregnant now at 39 and due in April with my second (just before I turn 40). I plan to have another if possible naturally. Fortunately, I never had any issue getting pregnant with either baby and just try to do everything I can in my life to keep my stress down, eat healthy, exercise daily and I do think that does have an impact on the body. Your story is very powerful and I think it does generate awareness. Thank you for sharing your powerful story. Freezing eggs is a GREAT way to help prolong the aging process for eggs and its a great option if you're not ready to have a baby just quite yet.
I’m 26 and starting to get the looks. 2 relatives have said with confidence, “Maybe she won’t have any.” I have known I wanted to be a mother since I was very young but I knew it simply wasn’t logical so hearing/seeing all of this really breaks my heart. I’m now in a position where I’m watching my younger sisters (many have at least 2) and a younger brother start having their children and they are all unstable financially and have to navigate changing relationships because they took that route. An ex of mine, who has 4 now, has said to me that I’m getting old but I believe in waiting until I can provide a great quality of life and the best version of me to a new life rather than bringing someone into this world and being happy that they’re flexible enough to settle for what I have now.
In which country do you live? It`s totally fine to not have a baby before 26... Don`t let their comments/expectations wear you down! You still have 10 friggin more years before it really gets difficult to have a baby. 10 years!!! Don`t let others dictate how you live your life, you still have time to finish your education, find the right man, settle and get pregnant. No worries!
This! Yes. 26 is still very young and if you're getting good care of your reproductive health you prolly shouldn't have much issues. I'm soon gonna be 26 and marrying my bf in few days. His parents are already asking us when are we going to have babies. We said to them not yet, and we are not thinking for at least a year yet (maybe more, not sure). As we are renovating a house we got and that is a stress. We are lucky enough we both have stability in our jobs (me just got permanent contract this year). People are saying, why are we waiting. I have bunch of people younger than me having already their second child. But they are no where near financially stable as us two and struggling. Me as a child from a family that had to struggle to finance some basic stuff, I don't wanna bring a child in to picture unless I am absolutely sure I can give it everything it needs. I didn't even think I would ever want to get married after I saw a mess of my parents divorce but here I am. And yeah i live in Croatia, people here tend to have children younger (a girl that went to primary school with me had 4 children before 25y) so that is why me at almost 26 is considered weird. But I don't care, consider your wishes and go with them. Two of my best friends are both 30 and just had their first child and I consider that to be just fine and totally supportive about it.
Thank you for this. I'm 36 and on pregnancy #3 after an early miscarriage and a 23 weeks loss. I never felt so alone as when I lost my pregnancy. Online groups and therapy have helped me. In my experience, no one likes to talk about pregnancy loss but I promised myself to be open about when the situation calls for it.
I was 42 when I had my daughter, I fell pregnant the first month of trying, yet I’ve remained sad that I didn’t get pregnant again. I’m blessed, but at 59 now certainly is too late. I was in my 30s when I met my husband, the fertility count down is very short and we don’t always have a choice
“I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t beaten the odds?” I think this is the central issue, those without the happy ending aren’t talking about it. The likelihood of
Thank you for saying this out loud. We need to be open about all outcomes. I agree that it is majorily the successes that we hear about and I feel this creates a false narrative that we then take as fact/common. This likely makes the many of us who haven't reached that success feel more alone.
Hello pretty lady how are you doing today I hope you are doing well and I really appreciate you being my fans 💓💓💓💓
EXACTLY! To quote a movie: "They're the exception and not the rule". I'd like to hear from someone who didn't have a happy ending.
I got married at 19, had a baby boy at 24 then another boy at 29. After 15 years of marriage, my husband decided to leave. Got married again at the age of 38 to a wonderful man who didn't have children of his own but wanted them and had my baby girl at 40. We wanted another child, but I figured it would take a long time, if ever, to conceive again at my age. Four months later, to my amazement, I found out I was pregnant again. I had my last child (boy) at 41. My maternal grandmother had 12 kids and my paternal grandmother had 6. I think genetics plays a part in fertility as well.
Man... what a touching story. Talk about someone who pushes through their frustrations and pain. Congratulations and thank you for a great talk.
Each body has its own age. There are very few universal truths about fertility.
Preach....I feel society just wants to put pressure on women to have kids at an early age with just anyone.
Most of the “information” about fertility and viable child baring years was written in the early 1800’s. There is sadly, little new information because woman’s bodies and healthcare is an afterthought. Woman birth healthy children into their 50’s.
Biologically it is better to give birth before 40. The chances of the pregnancy going badly (not just a miscarriage, babies with spina bifida and babies still born, and numerous other dangerous complications) increase dramatically the older a woman is when she gets pregnant. I honestly think if a woman wants a family late in life because she doesn’t feel ready younger, she should consider adoption as a better option.
Yes and no.
Agreed! To each their own.
I find it interesting that everyone laughed when she spoke of women’s fertility issues, but no one laughed when she said, “Ironically, men are still the culprit when it comes to infertility.” Why isn’t that funny too? Why isn’t anyone talking about this fact in the comments section?
both men & women can be infertile. so what?! nature's method of population control. that's why i hate ivf.
Unfortunately at 19 years old I fell for the lie that you can't ever have a career and have children so I made the grave mistake of aborting that baby. 😥 The culture I grew up in, in America, told me that it would "ruin my life." I will live with that regret forever but...Now, I just had my fourth baby at 42 and am just beginning my dream career at 44 as my youngest enters preschool!
I felt like I was a failure for decades because I didn't have a career. Why is being a mom not enough?! I know we have gifts and talents we want to share with the world and we want to be recognized for but I hope to be an example to women that just because you're in your forties and have children doesn't mean you can't BEGIN a career!! We are not DONE or expired at 40! We're smarter, wiser and more womanly! These cultural views need to be revised, because women unfortunately don't realize how wonderful babies are until they actually have one! 😥
Good for you! *Hugs*
You have modern feminism to thank for that. It breaks my heart the number of young women that are buying into that lies regarding motherhood and careers.
Women are subjugated, exploited, and brainwashed in this patriarchial world into believing that we have to do things like men do. I have been recently intoduced to the work of Mama Gena. Highly recommend all women reading her books.
I hope you have been able to forgive yourself for having an abortion. If not there are organizations out there who help women like you. One is called Rachel's Vineyard. They provide healing to women like you.
@@juliealoka7837 If it was patriarchal you wouldn't have access to Internet 😀
Six years, seven pregnancies, five miscarriages, a round of in vitro, two donor eggs, a lucky roll of the dice, and a partridge in a pear tree (BABY)
(Hugs)
Had to love this one🙏
Sounds pretty gruelling tbh... So glad there was a partridge (BABY) at the end of it for you 😄 🕊️/👶 😍
I met my now husband a few years ago and for the first time knew he was the man I wanted to have kids with. I gave to our first child in Jan this year at 39 years old, beautiful baby girl. We work and live in Shanghai, my Chinese doctor was surprised that I had a straight forward pregnancy and birth, all because of my age. Throughout my pregnancy I feared miscarriage as it is more common than one would think. We would like to try for another at some point next year, just like the lady in the talk I had the same feeling that I want to do it again. Thank you for such a personal testimony. Fertilty should be taught in school and make woman aware of the options available to them.
I have three cousins, and they were all born when my aunt was 38, 40 and 42y. All healthy. Some women just don't find a husband until the late 30s , it happens
True
Awesome, i had my daughter at 43 and she’s amazing. I was told I couldn’t have when I was 28... i wish I had tried for another baby but because of a pituitary tumour i decided not too. My daughter now has 15yrs and has beaten all the odds the doctors claimed she would have...🙏🏿 💋
Wow! Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you. I often wished I could have one more child. But, I'm 47 now. Luckily, the good Lord has blessed me with one really great Son. So, I'm luckier than most. All my Love to you! ♥
Halle Berry had her son at 47....stranger things have happened! 😁
@@candacepersson5919 .. I know.. Sometimes I feel like I should, but I'm kinda leaning more towards adoption. There are millions of unwanted children out there.
Have kids when you want if you’re over 18, whether it be early or ‘late’r. Just be willing to sacrifice and do the necessary things to provide a good life for them. That is what makes a good parent, and a good home.
I am 32, I want to start a family but seems not to be able to find the right man but I still have hope that God has someone out there for me.
Good men are hard to find... don't give up!👍😁
That seems to be the popular problem now
It’s going to happen for you. I believe
Don’t give up. You never know. You are still young.
When I was about 19 I experienced my first miscarriage and then a year later I was told I probably won’t be able to have kids and that I should consider other options... now I’m 23, and surprisingly got pregnant!!! I was in no way expecting this pregnancy to happen and no I’m not financially stable and yes I could be in a better situation for my child but after experiencing so loss I cannot see myself not having this miracle
miscarrige happens to anyone at any age. i know many women who had it in their 20s, and one of them had 8 miscarriges before she finally had her dauther. and she was also young.
It can technically happen to anyone, but it happens to some people more than others for well-known reasons. Age, alcohol use, diet, general health, medical history, genetics, all play a role.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 Yes, very common. Most will get at least one in their life time! Some dont realize and simply think it was a harder period than usual.
like 50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage so
@@PaulStringini It isnt just technically nor does it usually require something to be wrong with you. All animals miscarry, its a fact of nature. NOT something to blame yourself about MOST of the time, even after having multiple!
@@TahtahmesDiary Fertility isn't magic. There are material causes behind these things. Sometimes it's something beyond anyone's control, like genetics and stuff like that. But that doesn't change the fact that someone who abuses alcohol regularly has an increased chance of miscarriage. It doesn't change the fact that if one delays conception until late in life, one has increased risk of miscarriage. I have family members that found out the hard way that sometimes nature is very very unforgiving.
Anyone can get in a car accident too, but if one drinks and drives one may be just a bit more likely to have a collision. No? And it isn't your fault if the car has a mechanical failure due to something beyond your control, of course not. But there are things that increase risks in life. And pretending that someone isn't taking a risk, and denying the risks they are taking, is not in the least bit kind.
Miscarriages are very common, but there are things that increase the probability. I'm not saying it won't happen to plenty of young healthy people who eat healthy, never smoke etc etc. But if someone tends to miscarry, through no fault of their own, they should know the risk factors if they want to maximize their chances of conceiving. I don't see why that should be so controversial.
I had my son at 31, my husband and I are the same age. This is our first baby. I used to want to have kids at 24-25 until I reached that age and I really wasn’t ready. No partner that I trusted enough and not mentally or financially ready. I would say to women on here I took prenatal vitamins since I was about 25 due to wanting thicker hair. Trust me when I say make sure to at least do this for yourself. We need to be healthy enough to carry a baby at any age. I got pregnant straight away not really trying. Our bodies age our cells age even if like she said were doing yoga etc lol so try as best you can to eat right and take supplements. Blessings to you all
Exercise absolutely slows down aging process.
What a beautiful story. I got chills and cried when you said you “spontaneously” got pregnant with your 2nd. I am 38. I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter. I want that second baby. I’m not done! It’s just talking my husband into it!! That’s the difficult part! Congratulations on your babies!!!
I’m 38 and having my first child- a baby boy 🙌🏼 The first practice I went to, employed a nurse practitioner who told me I was ‘the oldest first time mother she ever saw’. 🙃 So insensitive, considering I had been trying for over 2 years to get pregnant with my first husband, and the better part of a year to get pregnant with my fiancé.
We are SO excited to meet our little boy and blessed to know that we can get pregnant. AND we plan to get pregnant again in the next few years- so, in my early 40’s.
I feel young and I’m happy I waited until I was ready, and I think my baby even waited until it was the right time. I could have gotten pregnant at 35 with my ex husband, but it would have been the ‘right time, wrong guy’. Now I’m expecting a little miracle with the love of my life, and that was definitely worth a few years 🤗
Roll back 40-50 years, child mortality was a big factor. My grand parents had 5 kids and only last 3 lived. They had to start early.
I think you need to add a few decades to that number. At least in the developed world.
@Eagle Eye Back then more family meant more prosperity - more workers. Kids today don't work till they are about 18 when they can drive to work. Not to say about the cost to bring them up.
Infant mortality is different than miscarriage right?
@@xDDufiosy Yes, infant mortality is different from miscarriage.
My maternal grandparents started in their twenties. My grandmother was born in 1901 and was a year older than her husband. They had 13 children who survived childhood. She had 2 miscarriages and one child didn't survive childhood.
My grandmother had her last child (my mother) when she was 49.
Congratulations on your two precious boys. What a story of all you have overcome.
Spent 8 years with my now ex husband, most of those years in my 30s. He agreed before we got married that he wanted kids, but then wouldn't commit afterwards. I'm now 37 and newly divorced and have all but given up hope. He can still go on to have kids whenever he wants, but it won't be easy for me even if I do find another partner.
Amazing video, and such a strong woman, I am very happy for her!!.It's is definitely the hardest and worst pain to go through a miscarriage and feel that you might never become a parent..and it's the best and greatest feeling when you do become pregnant and see your baby after all a long wait..no one could understand these emotions unless they've been through them ( I did)...I hope every woman and man experience parenthood ( if that's what they want, as it is not for everyone!)
So she started trying when she formed a serious relationship with her partner. Having known everything that happened afterwards would she rather get pregnant with a guy she was casually hooking up in her mid-twenties? I don't think so. And therefore I don't quite get what's the point of this talk. No sane woman will get a baby with a random dude whilst she's still 25 just because it might get difficult after 30. She'll rather wait for the right partner to raise the child with. Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks that.
I think the point was she was unaware of the issues she would face. Had she known she may have frozen some of her eggs when she was younger if she hadn't found the right partner yet.
@@kirsten185 Yes that's the point. She would of had children earlier had she known the challenges, older women experience. I agree . I had 2 miscarriages and now I have a 2 year old.... I'm 39 now. My husband is no longer with me. Even though I want another child, who would I have a baby with?
There are many young women who find the right man and start a family. It seems like you think every woman in her 20s sleeps around.
Thanks for clarifying the point, yes I am only giving one point of view that many women just aren't aware of how difficult and insurmountable it can be despite all the latest fertility aids. I would have loved it if someone had discussed odds and options way earlier.
Brilliant!
I’m almost 34 years old and had my first child with IVF and it worked flawlessly. My second transfer resulted in pregnancy for one week and then I miscarried. I’m on my third round of IVF and we’re one week away from the transfer. Like the speaker said, there is nothing more I want in life than another baby so we’re praying hard for another miracle baby. Prayers and good thoughts to all you IVF moms. The journey is long and emotional, but our children are worth the wait. ♥️
🙏
As a happily childfree person at 43 (and no indication of this changing), I found this talk very interesting. I have always heard that it becomes difficult to conceive as one gets older, but I didn’t realize to what extent. In my case, fortunately, this comes as a relief 😆 But I can see how frustrating this must be for women who weren’t prepared for this challenge.
For those saying “why don’t you just adopt? Problem solved”, I used to wonder this too when hearing stories like this. Apparently adoption can be an extremely expensive and difficult process, and you might not even be able to adopt in the end.
As a childfree person it can be tempting to get on an environmental high horse and criticize people for trying so hard to create another life, but judgment goes both ways. It can be annoying having to defend NOT wanting to have children too. Maybe we should accept people’s personal decisions more (or just keep our judgements to ourselves 😊)
Adoption can be free in many cases.
@@Maaaaaam How? Please share.
ronnie haha yes the “you’ll change your mind” bit. I’ve gotten that a few times but fortunately not too many times. Now I may get the occasional “any regrets?” to which I’m just fine replying “no”. The snarky side of me is tempted to ask in return if the person has regrets about having children, but I’ve behaved. I did have one coworker once who was really insistant that I’d change my mind, and he showed me photos of his baby saying “see isn’t she cute?” I don’t find any babies cute so that was a tad uncomfortable 😆
I think I'm in the same boat as you. The only uncertainty comes from the fact that I wonder if the right person came along would I change my mind?
Thanks for being the comment of reason. The choices people make have nothing to do with us. One could argue that sharing something personal on social media platforms gives us the right to make negative comments, but everybody has their own points of view. Things will resonate differently with each person watching it depending on their own personal experiences in life.
My mother had me at 46 👀
What? Is she alive. Woww?
I'm 43, nearly 44. My husband & I are trying hard to have my 2nd child (his 1st), after 2 miscarriages. We have opted to not go the fertility clinic route, & are instead letting nature do its thing, God willing. Listening to this really gives me hope.
How is this going? Are you pregnant? I’m 42 and trying as well.
@@Isond-ox3ye Not great, if I'm being honest. I know the odds are against us, & we're still trying. We decided to just let nature take its course (so no hormones or IVF). If it's meant to happen, it will.
MOST COMMENTS ARE REALLY SAD...YES IT IS NOT EASY TO HAVE A CHILD WHEN YOU ARE NOT 20...BUT IT IS REMARKABLE WHEN IT HAPPENS.I ADMIRE WOMEN WHO WANTS IT ALL AND THE WORLD WOUDNT BE THE SAME WITHOUT THEM.I DONT SEE WHY IS SO WRONG TO TRY TO BE HAPPY HAVING BOTH A CARREER AND A FAMILY.WE HAVE A CHOICE EVEN IF ITS A DIFFICULT ONE.I AM TRYING TO GET PREGNANT FROM 29 YEARS OLD, I AM 35 NOW.THAT DO NOT MEAN I AM GOING TO QUIT IF IT DOESNT HAPPEN IN 5 YEARS.AND OF COURSE IT DO NOT MEAN THAT I SHOULD KNEW BETTER AND TRY EARLIER.THE BEST TIME TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER IS WHEN YOU ARE READY MENTALLY FOR IT.
Earlier is not always better. It's not just about career.
But have you found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?
Are you both mentally, emotionally and financially prepared to start a family?
Are you both emotionally aware of the work you'll have to do, the sacrifice you'd have to make to accomplish your goals and raising your family?
In terms of giving birth, yea... Earlier is better but it's more than just trying for a baby earlier.
Having a family is very rewarding but the problem is most people aren't just ready for that responsibility.
You're caring for a life (or more) and it shouldn't be taken lightly.
We do need to be sensible In the end
I'm one of those rare "young moms". I had my first at 24 and I'm 32 and now have 4. I feel incredibly blessed and the moment I held my first child something just changes in you and becoming a mom just changes you in a way you can never imagine. Please please listen to this woman when she says "Any joy or accomplishment I had in business was nothing compared to this" I know that many are not putting off having children on purpose, but some are, and if that's you, I want to encourage you that you don't have to have your life all together to have a baby and sometimes having a child will help everything to come together in your life in ways you never could have imagined ❤️
You are not so rare I was 22 and had 4 children by the time I was 30, I know lots who had their babies young. I was unusual in having 4 though.
What was it like having children young? Could you share some positive or negative experiences that stood out to you? I'm 19, and I'm getting married in 5 months, so I've been thinking a lot about young motherhood lately :). Thank you!
@@karamarie7646 I think it's better if you can to have children young, you're very fertile so will get pregnant quickly, I was extremely lucky my four children are the only pregnancies I've ever had and I got pregnant very easily, I put that down to age and health. Children are very expensive and I had to put my career on hold. I am now a single mum and struggle financially and I have to play catch up with my career but I am glad I had them young. I'm now in my early 40's and they are pretty self sufficient and independent. I'm now focusing more on me although the children still come first.
bless you, Lauren. The western world needs far more women like you.
@@karamarie7646 had my first child at 19, and my second at 21. No matter what they say, the pros outweigh the cons, which are usually related to money and financial independence, which by the way, some people who put off having children never really achieve anyway. Nothing beats having the physical energy for child-bearing and rearing.
I love that she shared her whole long experience with us all. Amazing. And not easy.