"Falling in love with a wild animal is like falling in love with a stripper" "Getting married is like falling in love with a wild animal" => Getting married is like falling in love with a stripper. Bill nailed it once again.
Lol, I live IN bear country. My backyard IS the forest. You don't see them often but when you do, it's when you least expect it. You walk around the corner of the house and boom, there he is. Personally, I run like hell and I'm back through the front door at warp speed. The bear usually runs the other way or sits there wondering "What was his problem?"
I did during my teens and into my twenties while at home working around the property, but have you ever tried wearing a .357 magnum all the time? It's like carrying a boat anchor. Kind of a pain in the ass. I'm just not that worried anymore. There's been like two attacks in the 30+ years I've been here. It still startles the hell out of me when I see one though, lol!
... the bear is all homophobic and then it kills him, and there's a bunch of kids watching... Thank you Bill Burr, I don't think anyone else has ever put together a sentence like this :D
Mr Burr- don’t know if you will see this comment, I recently came into to listening to your shows and working backwards into your older stuff- this bear pod has had me in tears!! Usually your chats are shorter and just cut off at end. I would just listening while trying not to laugh too much and miss something. You do speak truth and have very great thoughts! But this rant and talking was just playing and playing, and every time a commercial interrupted, I figured it was end, but then your ravings just pick right back up and you shattered me. I’m wiping tears in laughter- Bravo Sir! Bravo - cheers
Bill, I enjoy the hell out of all your comedy, but your making too much out of this. You need to be a group of 3 or more people, and you need to hoist your food/smelly stuff into the trees every night. If you do all this, it will be fine.
I don't even disagree that they're more afraid of us than we are of them, but what do bears DO when they're afraid and feel threatened? They're not calling 911!
In defense of the scout leader, I live in Virginia and my uncle lives out in Luray in the Shenandoah valley. There are black bears EVERYWHERE and hundreds of thousands acres of national forest where any one can camp at any time, bear attacks are pretty rare in comparison to the amount of times bears are actually encountered.
that analogy of wolverines and badgers has to at least hit home on like 4 continents. plus HOLY FUCK you are so fucking right with bears lacking that human-level self-awareness. that is so true, but i i also believe that how hungry they are is the most likely factor to call any decision
Your discomfort with wild country reflects a lack of exposure to the risk/benefits of being in this awe inspiring setting. The actual risk in an urban environment is much higher - auto accidents and human predators to name a few. Either place, keeping your head out of your ass minimizes "Oh no, now I'm fucked" situations.
12:00 If it's a black bear, fuck em. They apparently run away as soon as they notice you and are only a threat if they got cubs. Plus for me my daily carry is a 10mm Glock with 15+1 and a spare mag (full house 180gr loads). So I'm adequately covered anyway. If I see any bear cubs, or a grizzly. I'm getting the fuck outta there. I don't trust ANY gun to stop ANY bear flat. Nor do I want to even deal with that..
Step 1 - duck under the bears attack Step 2 - Get behind the bear Step 3 - Dive on its back and start choking it out from behind Step 4 - Wake up and realise you were knocked unconscious around step 1, and you're losing a lot of blood... probably should've played dead or something...
Bill is thinking of liberal camping. Sorry but i love the fresh air, water, the stars just fuckin everything. I literally just got back from camping and don't talk shit on it till you do it P.S backyard isnt camping. Iv camped all my life and never once have i seen a predator nor has my father and i bet same for mt grandfather. Talk to joe about the woods bill.
“Try to figure out whether the bear is a grizzly or a black bear: Hey that thing running at us 40 mph if you……..” I love that Bill turns away from the mic when he does that. Hahahaha
I've met quite a few people in my time who said they were one with any particular animal/s and it couldnt be further from the truth. Only in their own head were they one with the animals. In the end you realize a lot of people are just really big morons living in a fantasy. Whatever helps you get thru life I guess. P.S. because dogs are so common, dog owners are the worst
I remember walking thru a deep wood metal dump and met a skinny (hungry) black bear and I wasn’t worried until it approached me, I levelled my shotgun at it and it still crept foreword so I took a shot near it. What freaked me out was it stopped for a second then still crept toward me. So I shot it.
"There is no reason to get killed by a tiger in the United States of America. They don't live here." Ole Billy Red Face makes so much sense sometimes.
Eric Swiatek That got me, too.
Theres more tigers in Texas than in the whole world
@@xKrusafixx white people? That's just people. Why did you have to bring race into this?
😄☺️😊
There is one reason,
Stupidity!!
dude i wish bill narrated nature shows
Better than Attenborough 100%
Dude, I wish Bill Burr narrated my life. Now that would be the most ultimate and legendary shit right there.
I'd love to be in that pitch meeting :-)
Dude look at this fucking Tiger walking towards that antelope.
Dude, what in da FAWK is that antelope doing right now...
Bill Burr narrates amateur boxing matches, and its fucking GOLD; 24 karat fucking gold.
I love the way he gives human dialouge to an animals thoughts.
Anthropomorphize i think it's called
And it's 90% saying "dude wtf"
"it's 99.9% white people looking this shit up" "guess what color she is" "this guys a bottom" lmfao. this whole segment had me crying laughing
"Falling in love with a wild animal is like falling in love with a stripper"
"Getting married is like falling in love with a wild animal"
=> Getting married is like falling in love with a stripper.
Bill nailed it once again.
He said the second part at the same time I read ur comment like it was a caption appearing at the perfect time and got a godly laugh
@@T0YCHEST weird af, exact same thing just happened to me hahaha
"Badgers and wolverines, they're like the Irish and the Scottish of the fuckin' forest"
10/10
"They don't quit even if they're losing"
The bit about the bear talking to himself had me dying
Falling in love with a wild animal is like falling in love with a stripper it's going to end badly. That's hilariously true
+stephen white
Been there. It is known.
john hancock true my friend all hail the ale haha
@@lrmears1
amen brother I was fucking my dog in the ass and wife walked in she took the fucking kids too
Hahahaha what the fuck
Leonardo DiCaprio's - "The Irrelevant" HAHAH! it may have been by accident, but I think it's more a Freudian slip =)
Lol, I live IN bear country. My backyard IS the forest. You don't see them often but when you do, it's when you least expect it. You walk around the corner of the house and boom, there he is. Personally, I run like hell and I'm back through the front door at warp speed. The bear usually runs the other way or sits there wondering "What was his problem?"
I did during my teens and into my twenties while at home working around the property, but have you ever tried wearing a .357 magnum all the time? It's like carrying a boat anchor. Kind of a pain in the ass. I'm just not that worried anymore. There's been like two attacks in the 30+ years I've been here. It still startles the hell out of me when I see one though, lol!
IronheadOfScroteus bro thats fucking hilaruous but its the exact same thing i would do
@@IronheadOfScroteus yea man, and you need atleast a 357 tbh.
@@josephblanchard6248 I do have the old 357. I'll wear it again if the bear population starts becoming a problem.
@@IronheadOfScroteus yeah, carrying around the house is just alot of hassle. I'd just have it nearby.
I love how he goes from "my condolences" to "fuckin idiot" in three seconds🤣
I learn alot from Bill and if I know anything about bears its step slowly back, push your friend foward as you make your escape.
Fucking "Tiger push ups" LOL, dying...
"Scouting should be illegal." Naw, they just need a priest along to look out for the kids.
"hey that thing running at us 40mph ghaa" Lmaooooo! This is one of the best
*This guy's bottom.*
Bear, 2016
So lemme get this right, the bear has an L shaped couch and flat screen tv but no access to a mirror?
Yes black bears are still bears. But a grizzly is a godless marauding killing machine.
Got to get those 1,000,000 calories for the winter that seems like a goal u reach with no God.
BB, one of your funniest podcasts!
Bill should comment wildlife mishaps more often.
Fucking kills me every time. 😂😂😂
Really fucking funny Bill. I nearly shat myself.
+MrSpinteractive lmao
dude...that bit about badgers and wolverines bein the irish and scottish of the forest had me rollin
99% of house cats would eat their owners if they could. What do you think a tiger would do
What about dogs they actually eat their owners pitbull owners anyways
It's true. It doesn't matter how much you think your house cat loves you.
You shrink down to the size of a mouse? Bye Bye
5:56 “I hate to look, I hate to stare, but your face got mauled by a bear” 😂😂😂
"Getting married is kinda like falling in love with a wild animal." hahahahahahahaha
Luke James Music guy
Burr loves his wife and thats my favorite part of his podcasts.
Coming to America reference 13:44 Sexual Chocolate!
... the bear is all homophobic and then it kills him, and there's a bunch of kids watching...
Thank you Bill Burr, I don't think anyone else has ever put together a sentence like this :D
The funniest podcast in history 🐻 😂
Holy fuck this one had me in tears man
12:27 the rant made me laugh for a long time crying. Makes sense.
"A cave is like a townhouse in Brooklyn"
"Hey that thing running at us at 40 miles per hour!" Hahahaha
"Using his belt as dental floss" dropped me!😂
I hat to look I hat to stare I'm sorry you got attacked by a bear but why were you there 😂😂😂.
"falling in love with a wild animal is like falling in love with a stripper" LMFAO
I bet she wasn't whispering once the mauling started
13:00 omg I lol'd so hard.
I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. Bill is a fcking legend
"wtf this guys a bottom" yall i nearly screamed
Animals certainly have some kind of ego. Even dogs and cats have egos several times their own size.
The corner guy for bear fight bit...is pure Burr."the Grizzly likes to load up that right,..trying to steal a few rounds", hilarious.
"Badgers and wolverines are like the Irish and the Scottish of the forest" 10:05
Mr Burr- don’t know if you will see this comment, I recently came into to listening to your shows and working backwards into your older stuff- this bear pod has had me in tears!! Usually your chats are shorter and just cut off at end. I would just listening while trying not to laugh too much and miss something. You do speak truth and have very great thoughts! But this rant and talking was just playing and playing, and every time a commercial interrupted, I figured it was end, but then your ravings just pick right back up and you shattered me. I’m wiping tears in laughter- Bravo Sir! Bravo - cheers
"Make it quick"
(bear starts to eat you alive legs first)
"fuck"
Bear : “...okay...put an L shaped couch right here...”
omg!!! i fucking laughed my eye out! "this guy is an under, he is weirding me out" omg! bill red bottoms i love ya!
That bear mauling Hallmark card gets the Mr. Deeds seal of quality
Bill, I enjoy the hell out of all your comedy, but your making too much out of this. You need to be a group of 3 or more people, and you need to hoist your food/smelly stuff into the trees every night. If you do all this, it will be fine.
Considering you cant outrun a bear the only hope you have is to be in a group, and hope your part of the faster runners lol
Have a gun in bear country, period.
"Hallmark doesn't make cards saying sorry you got mauled by a bear."🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bill needs to react to the last couple seasons of “Alone” especially the final season in “bear country” holy shit.
"The Revelant..Relelevant." hahahahahaha
(law and order music)
“What’re you doing with all those kids?”
Camper: Ah i found em...
😂 ⚰️
I don't even disagree that they're more afraid of us than we are of them, but what do bears DO when they're afraid and feel threatened? They're not calling 911!
When he said sexual chocolate, I Iost my shit lmao 😂😂😂
LMAOOO when did bill learn what a bottom is i need to know!
What is a bottom anyway
That lady is definitely a dope
"Getting married is like falling in love with a wild animal."
Damn that went off the rails didn't it bill.....geez
Bills such a city boy
In defense of the scout leader, I live in Virginia and my uncle lives out in Luray in the Shenandoah valley. There are black bears EVERYWHERE and hundreds of thousands acres of national forest where any one can camp at any time, bear attacks are pretty rare in comparison to the amount of times bears are actually encountered.
“Some big word that already exist”
All words already exist bill lmfaoooo
JUNGLE SOL he meant not some big word someone just made up lmao clearly
that analogy of wolverines and badgers has to at least hit home on like 4 continents. plus HOLY FUCK you are so fucking right with bears lacking that human-level self-awareness. that is so true, but i i also believe that how hungry they are is the most likely factor to call any decision
Hey man I don't want any part in this man xD
Getting Mauled. 👍😆😎🕺
Your discomfort with wild country reflects a lack of exposure to the risk/benefits of being in this awe inspiring setting. The actual risk in an urban environment is much higher - auto accidents and human predators to name a few. Either place, keeping your head out of your ass minimizes "Oh no, now I'm fucked" situations.
What?! Lmao, his animal 💭 thoughts are hilarious 🤣
'Falling in love with a wild animal is like falling in love with a stripper. It's not going to end well' hahaha
Bears Beats Battlestar Galactica
Hey that thing running towards us at 40 miles per hour, it that a griZzjobkdjbgbdac.......____
12:00
If it's a black bear, fuck em. They apparently run away as soon as they notice you and are only a threat if they got cubs. Plus for me my daily carry is a 10mm Glock with 15+1 and a spare mag (full house 180gr loads). So I'm adequately covered anyway.
If I see any bear cubs, or a grizzly. I'm getting the fuck outta there. I don't trust ANY gun to stop ANY bear flat. Nor do I want to even deal with that..
Step 1 - duck under the bears attack
Step 2 - Get behind the bear
Step 3 - Dive on its back and start choking it out from behind
Step 4 - Wake up and realise you were knocked unconscious around step 1, and you're losing a lot of blood... probably should've played dead or something...
This guy is hilarious.
Bill is thinking of liberal camping. Sorry but i love the fresh air, water, the stars just fuckin everything. I literally just got back from camping and don't talk shit on it till you do it P.S backyard isnt camping. Iv camped all my life and never once have i seen a predator nor has my father and i bet same for mt grandfather. Talk to joe about the woods bill.
Walking into the bear cave and the bear thinks to caught a predator. Lmao
“Try to figure out whether the bear is a grizzly or a black bear: Hey that thing running at us 40 mph if you……..” I love that Bill turns away from the mic when he does that. Hahahaha
"What does she say? GET A GUN GET A GUN!" Funniest bit!
I've met quite a few people in my time who said they were one with any particular animal/s and it couldnt be further from the truth. Only in their own head were they one with the animals. In the end you realize a lot of people are just really big morons living in a fantasy. Whatever helps you get thru life I guess. P.S. because dogs are so common, dog owners are the worst
I remember walking thru a deep wood metal dump and met a skinny (hungry) black bear and I wasn’t worried until it approached me, I levelled my shotgun at it and it still crept foreword so I took a shot near it. What freaked me out was it stopped for a second then still crept toward me. So I shot it.
Sexual chocolate. 💀
When he said Nia, i about shit myself. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
This is fukin brilliant!
Why is the entrance writing in comic sands
Bill I fucking love you, but "the woods" IS "wilderness" 😆
LOL SEXUAL CHOCOLATE omg ahahaha
5:58
I hate to look, I hate to stare,
but your face got mauled by a bear.
Hahahahahaha. Jesus Christ 😆😆😆
That scene in the movie The Revenant, It was so terrifying it almost made me sick !!!😵
Bill, I think the term you're looking for? Is being disembodied !
Run Neon Tiger there is a lot on your mind
Thanks for the. MAMERIES
I'm trying to think of some good sympathy card material
Is that a black bear or a brown bear? Dude its a fucken bear lmfao
Lawrence Taylor is an animal
I'm that dumb to go in the woods but I'd bring a gun, dont the Alaskans do that?
Bill is staggeringly uninformed about bears lol
17:27 - no Bill, just giving it a light mauling :)
bill getting attacked by a bear just screaming LADIES!!! ahh fuck JUST CHECKIN IN ON YEAHHH!!!
"They don't make a Hallmark card for it" bahahaha
In Norway, the king of the forest is Moose