Bill Burr - KFC

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  • Опубликовано: 8 июн 2014
  • / themmpodcast and billburr.com/ and www.allthingscomedy.com/
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Комментарии • 416

  • @MetallicaRocksss
    @MetallicaRocksss 8 лет назад +506

    I love it when Bill laughs about his own jokes

    • @MrFaDookie
      @MrFaDookie 8 лет назад +30

      flukkin hilarious......

    • @thestonecanoe3159
      @thestonecanoe3159 5 лет назад +4

      His laugh reminds me of an old friend of mine who passed away a few years back.

    • @vitocorleone1462
      @vitocorleone1462 4 года назад +5

      Please tell me why people say it's wrong to laugh at your own jokes. I don't get it. Like I cook a good ass meal, I'm gonna say "whoa that tastes pretty good". Why is it illegal to laugh at your own jokes, I do it all the time. Maybe unfunny people don't get it because they're not funny and therefore never laugh at their own jokes. But us funny people on the other hand are sooo funny that we just can't help it

    • @tractorkid223
      @tractorkid223 4 года назад

      @@vitocorleone1462 is a fart a ghost? yes it's the ghost of LUNCH! HAHA that's the joke I always laugh at myself when I tell that joke..

    • @asmodeus1234
      @asmodeus1234 3 года назад

      It's part of it. Laughing shows you're relaxed and hearing people laugh makes you more likely to laugh

  • @thandekahlophe2043
    @thandekahlophe2043 5 лет назад +116

    I died at "honey get the gun". Bill gives me life

  • @solidkingcobra
    @solidkingcobra 4 года назад +39

    3:55 - 4:25 I love the subtle shift in tone to create a character. Billy Ball Bags created a plausible character in mere seconds when he leaned in on the joke. that was some dope improv skills.

    • @vmjlovebooks3109
      @vmjlovebooks3109 4 года назад +1

      Simply Brilliant Billy. That part of the podcast is funny as He!!!

    • @therealjesuschrist9160
      @therealjesuschrist9160 2 года назад

      2 years later and that bit is still hilarious 😂 honey get the gun

  • @omgpuppet
    @omgpuppet 5 лет назад +60

    “Roided up , beakless, chickens with Dolly Parton breastesses.”

  • @Martiizzer
    @Martiizzer 3 года назад +21

    These are the gold years of this podcast. FARMERS FHHAKIN MHHHAAARKEEEET !!!

  • @ja3482
    @ja3482 4 года назад +26

    This might be the best string of digressions I've ever heard from Bill. Even when the man is rambling like he's 80, his comedic mechanics and instincts are all over it.

  • @darr3263827
    @darr3263827 8 лет назад +188

    The last time I ate kfc I had a miscarriage from my ass. Never again.

    • @darr3263827
      @darr3263827 8 лет назад +9

      +Apple Bee it wreaked havoc on my guts

    • @scottydoes8379
      @scottydoes8379 8 лет назад +12

      +Chris Allen ..I used to work there.. they made us cook chicken that smelled like rotten eggs.. Its pretty safe to say that food is garbage.

    • @KTKZon58
      @KTKZon58 8 лет назад +1

      😂😂😂😂

    • @Abdullah1475
      @Abdullah1475 8 лет назад +1

      lmao

    • @Bruceybaby2009
      @Bruceybaby2009 6 лет назад

      HAH! Jesus lol

  • @TrekoMundo
    @TrekoMundo 3 года назад +17

    I love how bill starts to talk in a character and then struggles to get out of it😂😂😂😂

  • @GamingPenis
    @GamingPenis 7 лет назад +46

    "i use the term chicken very loosely" shit haha xD

  • @gonzalocastaneda52
    @gonzalocastaneda52 8 лет назад +74

    haha!! "... i said get the hell outta here. Honey where's my gun?"
    Gold.

  • @rileyshea2894
    @rileyshea2894 7 лет назад +148

    "the ankle bone's connected to the knee bone"

    • @thehot2799
      @thehot2799 5 лет назад +1

      Riley Shea what that means anyway😁

    • @DefendYoungstown
      @DefendYoungstown 4 года назад +2

      I immediately thought of Dr. Nick. I believe the knee bone was also connected to the "red thing" in his version.

  • @TOBI10795
    @TOBI10795 8 лет назад +78

    honey get the guun

  • @MetalBacon64
    @MetalBacon64 8 лет назад +41

    Fahmahs Fuckin Mahhkit!!!! LOL

  • @nickgarcia1292
    @nickgarcia1292 7 лет назад +60

    lol this guy.. hes all over the place. i mean im used to it but i still get amazed by the rants its glorious

  • @j.d3804
    @j.d3804 4 года назад +25

    “There’s no such thing as a 9 pound chicken!” LMAO

  • @jshewman
    @jshewman 8 лет назад +19

    Van Morrison??? I cant stop laughing!

  • @montes669
    @montes669 4 года назад +10

    I binge listen to Bill Burr when I’m sad or mad

  • @taqiuddin3048
    @taqiuddin3048 7 лет назад +19

    5:08 :all natural?
    :well...
    :c'mon where is it?? 😂😂😂

  • @sloanmagnum5009
    @sloanmagnum5009 2 года назад +4

    The southern get off property cause the chickens are too big voices skit he just did was hilarious. I could picture the whole thing in my head as he was saying it. Hahaha

  • @lydellb
    @lydellb 8 лет назад +14

    4:10 got me in tears, too funny

  • @jonathanp1886
    @jonathanp1886 6 лет назад +4

    "Dude it was awwwesome, I don't remember shit.." Every second of this clip is fucking golld!

  • @bigol9223
    @bigol9223 10 лет назад +5

    Hilarious how it sounds like he gets worked up & stands up when he's warning "get the fuck off my property"

  • @holographicmeatloaf1596
    @holographicmeatloaf1596 3 года назад +3

    4:21 you're welcome

  • @mb4310
    @mb4310 5 лет назад +6

    My favorite; when you were like 8-9 yrs old and your mom or dad would write a letter to the corner store for cigarettes and add that you could buy 25cents worth of candy. That was like garbage bag weight amount of candy. Stores actually sold about 100 different kinds of candy AND NOT IN BAGS. You got a little paper bag and spent AN HOUR choosing each one, you got deals like 5 for a penny.potato chips were 5 cents. And you got a COMIC BOOK. 25 cents was great. $1.00 was HITTING THE LOTTERY.
    We were free to roam like a pack of wolves because EVERYONE knew who you were and WOULD NOT HESITATE to smack you AND call your mother. Where you got smacked again.
    We thought we were free and wild not understanding that our whole community knew each one of us and our parents and were watching.

    • @sixstringtwangin
      @sixstringtwangin 4 года назад +1

      Or when you wanted to rent an R rated movie so the guy at the store called your mom at home and she said it was okay.

  • @irondrumwork09
    @irondrumwork09 10 лет назад +12

    bill relaxing probably tipsy on a sunday night is the best funniest shit! this whole thang had me DYING!

  • @injusticeanywherethreatens4810
    @injusticeanywherethreatens4810 4 года назад +4

    How does Bill Burr come up with this shit? That bit with Charlie and the car window bit was too funny.

  • @komickaze85
    @komickaze85 7 лет назад +14

    This podcast is awesome. Bill is so funny. I wish I would have started listening to him earlier and watching his comedy before this year. It probably had something to do with his really annoying accent, but then again he's from New England just like I was as a kid, but I don't have the accent. Truly hilarious dude. Glad I decided to watch his comedy and now listen to the podcast. Also glad about the great points he makes on so many subjects. He's like an everyman.

  • @tnlynch1988
    @tnlynch1988 5 лет назад +2

    ROFL 😂 "the ankle bone there is connected to the knee bone". Fuckin-a Bill, my wife was sleeping but not after my outburst of laughter. Soooo worth it!

  • @fredychicano654
    @fredychicano654 4 года назад +2

    “What’s that show that takes place on the jersey shore... Jersey shore!!”
    Hahah that shit got me

  • @rusroyce
    @rusroyce 8 лет назад +33

    Dolly Parton breasteses omffgg i lost it

  • @MSUParker
    @MSUParker 3 года назад +3

    Drinking water during this and almost spit it all over the place when he describes chicken having drugs in them to sedate kids

  • @Vaporvice84
    @Vaporvice84 10 лет назад +7

    "Don't ya just wish you could do with Heroin what ya do McDonalds? Just every once in a while?"
    Bill, I expected you to say that very thing about alcohol lol.

  • @biscuitbins
    @biscuitbins 7 лет назад +10

    The noise of the pretend scuffle. Brilliant.

    • @nickh.8275
      @nickh.8275 6 лет назад +1

      biscuitbins My all time favorite Bill Burr podcast because of that!

  • @jamesphillips3135
    @jamesphillips3135 4 года назад

    This highlight is great

  • @MrFaDookie
    @MrFaDookie 8 лет назад +18

    FAHMUZ FUKKN MAHKKET!!!

  • @kamaruusman4394
    @kamaruusman4394 4 года назад +4

    Rip Charlie Murphy

  • @wolfmansrabbittrails136
    @wolfmansrabbittrails136 4 года назад

    The best ever.

  • @kyotoforever
    @kyotoforever 8 лет назад +2

    I almost busted a fucking lung when he said" 9 pound fucking chicken " 😂

  • @captainfrost24
    @captainfrost24 8 лет назад +9

    get the fuck off my property! lol

  • @ajk6907
    @ajk6907 9 лет назад +2

    Getting the word 'Respect' confused with the word 'Fear' right there. Make 'em afraid while they're young, yeeehaw!

  • @TheSlammurai
    @TheSlammurai 8 лет назад +9

    4:56 Iwannawanna

  • @TheBeatKeeper
    @TheBeatKeeper 9 лет назад +35

    Americans don't want steroids in baseball players. We want steroids in our chicken though.

    • @keysersozae
      @keysersozae 9 лет назад +2

      88Keyz102 Poultry (chickens, turkeys, etc.) are not given any growth hormones, steroids, or anything like that, no matter what. They don't respond, no point. That's why "Organic" chicken is a fucking scam to price gouge dumbasses who buy into the whole 'organic food is magically healthier' that Whole Foods and other companies have marketed so effectively.

    • @ryanexsus
      @ryanexsus 9 лет назад +1

      keysersozae Sanderson Farms, Heritage Farms, and Perdue all use steroids in the feed. What you said is just not true.

    • @keysersozae
      @keysersozae 9 лет назад

      ryanexsus No, you're full of shit. Federal regulations have never permitted steroids to be used in poultry; additionally, the primary steroid used in livestock (a beta-adrenergic agonist) has no effect on poultry - again, there would be no point.
      You are just talking out your ass.

    • @taffysaur
      @taffysaur 9 лет назад +1

      I don't understand what the big deal is with steroids in baseball. Why not?

    • @verticalhorizon4633
      @verticalhorizon4633 8 лет назад +1

      +88Keyz102 We don't give our chickens $30 million contracts.

  • @pavlovsworld9122
    @pavlovsworld9122 4 года назад +1

    BEST chicken I ever had was India...
    I ordered, guy picked up a live chicken that was just pecking the ground beside the grill, swung it around, chopped its head, PLUCKED IT, rubbed the shit on it and grilled it.
    FRESH AND FUCKING AMAZING DUDE!

  • @iReturnV1deotapes
    @iReturnV1deotapes 10 лет назад +12

    I just love how you exaggerate random words for no reason like "cyadnals" and "fahmahs fuckin mahkit". Has me struggling to contain my drink in my mouth.

    • @unclebubba821
      @unclebubba821 10 лет назад +1

      .....lookin over a fuckin Cadavahhh.....
      right?

    • @cflores1889
      @cflores1889 9 лет назад

      Playing up his boston accent.

    • @aintgonnahappen
      @aintgonnahappen 9 лет назад

      Thomas Gaige I think that little tone he uses is that of Archie Bunker. Kills me every time. I would like to know who or what influenced his voice for women.

    • @thehorseformerlywithoutana2522
      @thehorseformerlywithoutana2522 9 лет назад

      aintgonnahappen
      Would be awesome if it was Edith Bunker.

    • @randycobb3452
      @randycobb3452 9 лет назад

      Completely unrelated, but LONG LIVE MSF!!!!

  • @tonygunz21
    @tonygunz21 10 лет назад +72

    JC Penny sells chicken??? Hmmm lol

    • @SkilledEddie
      @SkilledEddie 10 лет назад +14

      I get mine from Macys

    • @xx420blazexxbruh3
      @xx420blazexxbruh3 8 лет назад +7

      +SkilledEddie I prefer Verizon's chicken

    • @odb3699
      @odb3699 8 лет назад +6

      Autozone chicken is amazing

    • @starisesun7692
      @starisesun7692 8 лет назад +2

      +O'zerick Beales EEEEEEEEEW LOL

    • @odb3699
      @odb3699 8 лет назад +2

      zoe stary LOL

  • @markarnold2257
    @markarnold2257 3 года назад +1

    I come back here just to hear his Hick voice lines for an easy laugh.

  • @rnempson1
    @rnempson1 8 лет назад

    Great one Mr Burr

  • @zincminer
    @zincminer 5 лет назад +3

    I take parenting advice from bill exclusively

  • @KaeYoss
    @KaeYoss 7 лет назад +3

    "I was hungOVER!" Is it just me or does he sound like some TV preacher when he does that?

  • @xs10z
    @xs10z 2 года назад +1

    I made KFC for about a year. The stores just order whatever the local poultry purveyor is selling at the moment. In other words, it is not some kind of specally bread KFC chicken. It's the exact same stuff you see in the cooler at your local supermarket. What makes the stuff out-of-this-world good is the seasoning and the pressure cooking, not because it was designed by Frankenstein or some such.

  • @Indrius
    @Indrius 8 лет назад +3

    The problem with modern cars is that they don't have manual window rollers anymore, it's all electric nowadays. If you take out the key, the shit doesn't work. I, a grown ass man, got stuck in this little black Audi TT in the middle of hot and sunny summer's day when my friend left me in the car to go get some cash out of the ATM and forgetfully locked the car out of a habit. I tried to roll down the window and unlock the doors and nothing worked. By the time she came back some 10 mins later, I was all covered in sweat (and I'm not a sweaty or fat person).

    • @runly1
      @runly1 6 лет назад

      I just bought a 2018 Nissan with roll down windows and manual doors that only take a key. So, they do exist. And I saved $3,000!

  • @gali2256
    @gali2256 2 года назад +1

    As a drunk guy without a medical degree I can confirm that 42 days will cleanse your liver

  • @christinestewart987
    @christinestewart987 Год назад

    you got the forearm strength to roll down the window 😂🤣✌🐕

  • @pattherat8820
    @pattherat8820 3 года назад +1

    4:11 omg im dead hahha

  • @gamingsfinest1
    @gamingsfinest1 5 лет назад +3

    3:57 I love hillbilly burr

  • @runly1
    @runly1 6 лет назад

    Van Morrison... one of the Vans 😂 😂 😂 I'm done with your witchcraft

  • @ArthurCanWrestle
    @ArthurCanWrestle 7 лет назад +1

    That Mark Maguire analogy is a killer!

  • @paulg687
    @paulg687 5 лет назад +1

    Im done with your witchcraft! - hahaha brilliant.

  • @Daniel-vu4qu
    @Daniel-vu4qu 3 года назад +1

    The fact I got a McDonald's ad after this lmfao

  • @lucidstargirl
    @lucidstargirl 7 лет назад +2

    4:53 i wonna i wonna oh i wonna wonna i wanna all natural ahahahahah

  • @jacobadams5924
    @jacobadams5924 4 года назад +1

    LOL! What was that show on the New Jersey Shore?.....Jersey Shore! LOL

  • @benbrennan4953
    @benbrennan4953 4 года назад +2

    In Australia KFC stands for Kan’t Fucking Cook 😂

  • @matwilldance
    @matwilldance 8 лет назад

    The turkey part killed me

  • @syedazhar962
    @syedazhar962 4 года назад

    Crazy funny

  • @trying2killsometime
    @trying2killsometime 9 лет назад +23

    The itis is a real thing? I saw it on the boondocks had no idea it was real.

    • @galindoof
      @galindoof 5 лет назад +4

      The moment I saw that episode I knew it was real because I lived it.

    • @bassguitarislife3419
      @bassguitarislife3419 4 года назад +2

      Dave Chappelle has a skit about The Itis as well. Very funny, about ribs.

  • @kissmyassproductions5490
    @kissmyassproductions5490 7 лет назад

    LMAO that matrix joke killed me

  • @uenmm4745
    @uenmm4745 4 года назад +1

    Its nothing new. Parents used to give kids (even babies) small amounts of alcohol to make them calm. My danish grandmother spiked my tea with rum to make me sleepy. No wonder I'v developed a habit!

  • @MiotaLee
    @MiotaLee 9 лет назад +6

    the way he says mark mcgwire... sounds like a frikken chicken.

  • @codyminecrack248
    @codyminecrack248 5 лет назад

    This guys gr8.

  • @losthumanity1
    @losthumanity1 7 лет назад

    Billy making a literature references, amazing!

  • @malakiquest
    @malakiquest 7 лет назад

    Really gonna miss those two...

  • @soco13466
    @soco13466 5 лет назад +2

    My mom would have us 6 kids in the car, visit Grandma, tell us to stay in the car. Sure. We were all over the postage stamp yard Grandma's house had, in an old neighborhood typical of the 20's. We were used to a nice suburban yard. Mom would come out and yell every now and then. No big deal.

  • @burn5925
    @burn5925 10 лет назад +1

    this shit is some of Burr at his finest... hilarious storytelling, I hope he makes this stuff into a bit

  • @719sikora
    @719sikora 9 лет назад

    Billy Burr, What a fucking Beauty.

  • @madisonmontgomery1428
    @madisonmontgomery1428 7 лет назад +9

    this guy is grape

  • @Tr33fiddy
    @Tr33fiddy 8 лет назад +7

    We no longer use the term "spastic" in the UK any more, largely because children would use the contraction "spaz" as a insult for someone if they were a bit slow or stupid.
    Indeed the National Spastics Society changed its name in 1994 to "Scope" and thus, the term "Spaz" has generally fallen out of favour as a playground insult.
    Now, if you are a bit slow or stupid you are likely to be called a "Scoper".

    • @lioncohen8586
      @lioncohen8586 8 лет назад

      +Tr33fiddy i wonder if there are any american words that brits dont know of. this is the first time im hearing the word scoper lmao

    • @bigmikeobama523
      @bigmikeobama523 8 лет назад

      +Ron Burgandy jk

    • @TheSlammurai
      @TheSlammurai 8 лет назад +4

      +Tr33fiddy Kids always find a way. They're such assholes. XD

    • @JohnDoe-le7ml
      @JohnDoe-le7ml 5 лет назад

      fucking spazzes

  • @joshuam4835
    @joshuam4835 5 лет назад

    "Kentucky Fried Fuckin' Chicken" lol

  • @dustinconway5084
    @dustinconway5084 7 лет назад

    Hahah bill your hick voice never ceases to make me scream laugh, love your work brother . Keep it up ...or you'll be homeless I guess... As well as I would have much less material to listen to. ;)

  • @kingsremedy
    @kingsremedy 5 лет назад +2

    Had me dying at 4:03

  • @lars1296
    @lars1296 5 лет назад

    “Van Gundy guy under the bridge.” Sounds about right.

  • @thehot2799
    @thehot2799 5 лет назад

    Love him 😂😈😁

  • @Scotishirony
    @Scotishirony 8 лет назад

    "Make your kids go outside" I like that.

  • @aaronp9835
    @aaronp9835 5 лет назад

    I live in Saint Charles about 10 minutes away from zanies comedy club. That would be amazing if you came back there one day I will definitely be there to see you

  • @starcrafter13terran
    @starcrafter13terran 8 лет назад

    wrapper on an ice cream sandwich...i lost it...

  • @HooverBeast
    @HooverBeast 7 лет назад +1

    the way to parenting kids is not making them fear you. rather, make them respect their consequences in a fair way and explain to them WHY you doing whatever they just did is bad. more importantly, the guy who is coming down FAIRLY with an iron fist is the ideal parent.

  • @atm6870
    @atm6870 4 года назад +3

    When you eat a lot of food that’s high in flavor but low in nutrition

  • @TheAgentmigs
    @TheAgentmigs 8 лет назад

    That wheezing laugh 0:44

  • @vmonroig21
    @vmonroig21 3 года назад

    Bill got the grilled chicken for him self lol

  • @zackjacobson1987
    @zackjacobson1987 5 лет назад +4

    I use the term chicken very loosely

  • @JPfromFlint
    @JPfromFlint 10 лет назад +31

    KFC is still pretty good but Popeye's is way better

  • @Secret72062
    @Secret72062 4 года назад +2

    Lookin over a fuckin cadahvah

  • @lmlBFMVlml
    @lmlBFMVlml 9 лет назад +4

    This fuckin podcast was fuckin great. Bill burr is fuckin funny. KF fuckin C has decent fuckin chicken but fuckin churches is fuckin good too. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

    • @verticalhorizon4633
      @verticalhorizon4633 8 лет назад

      +lmlBFMVlml And one more classic fuck, just to finish off the evening.

    • @phannypack3951
      @phannypack3951 8 лет назад

      you know, popeyes bought churcges about ten years ago. popeyes is the best then churches. my fav churches is the one on grand ave in north stl.

  • @kasino7132
    @kasino7132 8 лет назад +2

    And by "they" I mean African Americans lol... Love Bill burr

  • @jwill7250
    @jwill7250 7 лет назад

    like a boxer 😂

  • @theofranko1699
    @theofranko1699 3 года назад

    A spastic joke is not out off line at all. If they get offended and know they are going to see you, I'm glad they got offended 😂

  • @fmcr
    @fmcr 8 лет назад +4

    And a young Steven Spielberg. lol

  • @FlyingNimbus
    @FlyingNimbus 5 лет назад +2

    That who Italians from jersey you mean sopranos 🤣

  • @williamsimpson3437
    @williamsimpson3437 7 лет назад

    my socks are killing me

  • @drdeadbeat1604
    @drdeadbeat1604 5 лет назад +3

    Faaamers faaackin maaaaket

  • @tdwindham1
    @tdwindham1 8 лет назад

    LOL! "And by they I mean "African Americans". So funny!