Love that the church member yelled at the husband until he cried and that they asked if there was anything she needed. Good for the brother and brother in law stepping up for her.
OP needs to file for divorce immediately, and on the way out make sure brozo understands it’s his sperm that decided the triplets were girls. After his performance at the gender reveal, he’s also going to be paying child support for the triplets he’s not allowed any contact with.
I can't help but imagine that the soon-to-be-ex husband will become acutely aware of just how bad he screwed up when his daughters are born and he doesn't get to be a part of their lives.
Imagine trying to get custody when he's saying wild 💩 like you killed my son and he'll financially support daughters but doesn't want to raise them. It's so sad that as a woman no other woman in either family said he's disgusting run away. If I was his mother I'd slap him stupid and remind him without her he literally wouldn't exist or have the penis he cares about more than his daughters.
Oh no... See, he doesn't view women as human beings, and that's a difference between daughters and sons for him. I heard a story of guy divorcing wife after she didn't want to give him son, he had an affair, his lover gave birth to son. He never even acknowledges his two daughters.
BIL and Bro are the MVPs here. Big dubs to BIL mom. The Bible Study guy that said what we were all thinking. I am ECSTATIC that the church is actually faithful and sheltering OP. Good job. I was worried she was in the Bog of Eternal Stench.
Absolutely NTA. And if he can't remember high school biology.... The guy's part determines the gender, NOT THE WOMAN!!! Now my wife and I have had multiple miscarriages and that grief is real. But it is not her fault for that either. He needs A LOT of therapy yesterday.
I am SO glad that the church was on her side. It can be hard to re-establish something like that, especially in a situation like this. There's too many times I've heard of churches taking the side of assholes like this, and it's so good to know that some places still have a sense of decency.
100% this. I am so surprised it normally goes the other way with church members. My church called me a liar and a w***e after they learned my ex was beating on me. They surrounded him comforted him and shunned me. Even though they constantly saw the bruises, and he admitted to hitting me constantly with the excuse of "she just wouldn't listen". A couple lawyers in the church offered to represent him in a custody battle for free. A few members started to take foster parent training classes and became certified and would send messages telling me they would get my kids removed and placed in their homes. This was after they secretly coached me to leave and told me they would be there for me in anything and everything.
@@RayneZaleska The exact same thing happened to my best friend's mother when she tried to leave her alcoholic and abusive husband. She even had the priest proposition her with sex to make her feel better...so she could go back to him "fixed"
I remember when I had the test done. The doctor explained that there was no chance about a false positive for a boy but there was a chance for a false positive for a girl. That was because the test might grab the mother's DNA instead of the baby. I wonder if the triplets are identical. An ultrasound should be able to tell.
My mom has 9 brothers and 3 sisters. The girls weren't treated the greatest. When my parents got married, my mom told my dad she refused to have boys. Kind of kidding, but not because of her brothers. They had 4 girls. I'm the 3rd. Over the years, we had great relationships with our parents. I asked my dad 1 day, if he was sad he didn't have boys? He said, what do I need boys for? I love that he said that. There are 8 grandsons and 8 granddaughters. I love my family. 😁 I can't imagine a dad not being ecstatic having 3 baby girls. I hope many blessings in this moms life. So happy she has an amazing family.
Divorce. That man is sickening. I wouldnt even want to be in the same room with him anymore. This brought me to tears how wonderful her brother has been to her. ❤
Best part is that after he flipped out and said all those awful things he went to church. Nothing says hypocrite like saying awful things to your wife, and then going to church, and basically profess your love to Jesus if it was a Christian church
I can't believe how fucked up he was to act like that and blame OP for the loss of the first child. He should have been thanking god for happy healthy babies and his mother and OP's mother should have been on him like the church people did. It would be ironic of the ultrasound missed it and one of the babies was a boy.
I mean it's male that determines gender,but what he said was completely uncalled for. It's good op is leaving him,she deserves better and her brother is a real one for helpin out.
Have you considered that maybe he’s just grieving? hurt people hurt people. sounds like after the passing of their first child, sounds like the husband put all his energy into supporting his wife & getting her through and maybe didn’t take the time to grieve for himself. What he said was terrible but even he, a man, deserves some grace
I am SO excited by that update! I was going to say she should see about staying with her brother until she can get on her feet. Love this and hope her husband gets the help he needs. And she seeks some therapy too so she can work through her own feelings and be confident in the fact that her first pregnancy nor how her husband acted is in any way her fault.
The brother and brother in law are absolute angels, they are really doing so much for her. Amazingly generous and supportive, I'm so glad OP has them. Also good on the church for supporting her. I've seen too many terrible church reactions to things like this
NTA! Your husband is WAY out of line with his comment about killing your son. Childbirth is not a simple process, many things can go wrong that can result in the loss of the child, the mother or both. Also, basic biological reality, the man's sperm determines the gender of the child(ren). UPDATE: You have a very good brother and BIL. Best wishes!
I'll start with something random but you'll understand where this comes from. My sister and I are extremely angry with the show Friends on the depiction of Phoebe's pregnancy with triplets, because by some miracle my sister got pregnant with triplets (naturally) and boy it was hard, not only emotionally, but physically that takes a toll on the mother's body, my sister had to spend the last 2 months of her pregnancy in the hospital because of it and her babies had to stay there for almost a month after they were born (they're healthy and thriving now), and I can tell you, a pregnant woman needs all the support she can get, but when it comes to triplets it multiplies, because it's not all rainbows and butterflies, no, there are risks, no matter how much she takes care of herself and her babies, and that stress is awful, and the worst part is that sometimes us (the partner, family, and friends) feel useless because there's nothing we can do but be there and be her cheerleaders. So, hearing what her husband did, and her mother's reaction broke my heart. I'm glad she has a Saint of a brother and brother in law, because she needs them, I hope that just like she received such a beautiful gift (her babies) she receives as much love, understanding, support and protection as she deserves. And at least for me, grief is not an excuse for such behavior.
One of my neighbors had triplets and one of the triplets died before he was born. The other 2 were born healthy and they were fraternal. The one that died was an identical twin.
@@evies1050 that was one of the risks of my sister, and one of the babies was smaller, when the doctors told her there was a high possibility that one of the babies wouldn't make it, she felt devastated. We are so grateful the three babies were born, and again, that's why she needed not only economical but emotional support. My condolences to your neighbor, I hope with the love of her family she will be a little better, a loss like that is something you never get over, but you learn to live with it.
Yeah this is why people need therapy. This guy is still clearly hurting and instead of getting help he is lashing out on his wife who is currently pregnant. People say that women get emotional, but this to me is an emotional outburst. Anger and Rage turned on his wife and three girls. The people he is supposed to love the most. Hurt people. Hurt people. He is literally scaring his wife and acting dangerous when she is already in a very dangerous pregnancy. She no longer feels trust and love she is honestly afraid for her children now. When your wife is pregnant is when a man most needs to be the emotional and physical rock. But too often that make or break moment is when so many Men snap. If this is you then get some therapy. There is no shame in getting help. The shame comes when you hurt the people you love and who love you.
As the oldest of 3 daughters. I am upset. My parents had 3 girls, 6 granddaughters, and 6 grandsons. My parents love us all so much. I am grateful for them. I am grateful for my entire family.
OP stated she didn't want her daughters growing up in an 'unloving' household, but the husband's visceral reaction to daughters and not 'at least one son' is far more dangerous than just an 'unloving' household. It wasn't a spur of the moment, lost my head reaction: he's sleeping on the couch, accused OP of murdering their first child, and this isn't disappointment, this is sheer anger. Once those children are born and home, he'll provide Maslow's basics needs for them but won't interact with them. How in the world does a woman handle triplets and the household alone while he goes to work? From the sounds of it, he'll refuse to pay for outside help for cooking, cleaning the house, laundry, babysitting so mom can rest, shower, eat, etc., which means further down the road, as the children age, he'll refuse to pay for any extras like school activities, dance, karate, band, sports, higher education, weddings etc. The moment of the gender reveal, this guy checked out in every way and is putting all the blame on OP. Does he think she walked into a baby store without him and custom-ordered 3 daughters just to piss him off? What the heck is wrong with him? If he can create a baby (or, in this case, 3 of them), does he have no clue how HE is the deciding factor here? What an absolute gob of pond scum. OP needs to get her ducks in a row, document everything, divorce him asap and the moment those children are born, slap legal child support papers on him along with a restraining order. If OP isn't already, she should be fearful of him harming those children simply because they are daughters and not sons and his anger is tangible. No mature man acts like this over disappointment: this man needs some serious therapy but I fear for OP and her daughters if she sticks around for that. What's that phrase?...when someone shows you who they are, believe them! I applaud brother/brother in law for stepping in and stepping up removing her from the situation and protecting her. OP's husband is off the rails to the point where she shouldn't trust even being in his presence. There is no telling what his anger will incite him to do. By saying "I don't want 4 kids but I want a son" sounds like an blatant threat to me and scares the heck out of me for her. As for the mother's 2 cents' worth, it might be natural for a husband to want sons, but this primal, rage-filled spontaneous reaction is NOT "natural" or "normal" at all. This is sick and twisted and to accuse OP of being the reason for the miscarriage is just evil and cruel. She's only been with this guy a total of 5 years and has her entire life ahead of her. If she was my sister, niece, granddaughter, daughter-in-law, I'd be urging her to get out as fast as she can and, in the meantime, get a restraining order against him and get him out of the marital home. She miscarried once; the strain of living with this insufferable man through this pregnancy does not bode well for her health or the health of those children.
I'm so glad OP has her brother, brother-in-law, and his mom as her family! I love how they and her church have rallied to support her and her baby girls. They certainly won't lack a father figure with those excellent men in their lives. ❤
I know someone who had 2 girls. She had difficult pregnancies and was advised not to conceive again. Her (now ex-) husband desperately wanted a son and was asking her for “permission” to have a son with another woman. He pressured her to the point where he was complaining to other people that she wouldn’t allow it. She ultimately divorced him and before the divorce was even final, he had a son.
Men determine the sex of the babies, not the female so if the babies are girls that falls on him. To clarify, the sperm is what determines the gender, not the egg
Brother and BIL (and BIL's mum as well) are absolute angels. Just goes to show that your gay ancestors are absolutely still ancestors! Those men are doing EVERYTHING, far above and beyond what anyone could expect. Good on the Church as well for doing the right thing and supporting OP.
One word " childsupport" you will be fine. I was single mother of two. One night i woke up i swear i saw my dead grandmother, she said one thing : mother and child will never be lost they survive. Next day i told my mother this, and here is the bizarre part. My mum was 16 when she got her oldest child. And this where exact the words my gram said to my mother after she gave birth. We did survive (without childsupport) my kids are fine adulds now.
OK WHAT A WIN FOR SIBLING LOVE THO! (everyone else has already said my thoughts on the terrible soon-to-be ex, so shoutout to the siblings - by blood and marriage - they crushed it!)
She needs out NOW! To blame her for the death of the boy AND act as if it’s her decision that the triplets are girls is HORRIFYING. (Haven’t watched the whole thing yet but I am enraged) delayed grief or not that violent reaction (yes breaking the table is violent) and the way he is treating her make me sick
So, my dad wanted boys and his 1st child (moi) is a girl, I grew up feeling "less than", being told I couldn't do or wouldn't be allowed to, do certain things because I was a girl. It really messed me up emotionally and mentally. So if you decide to stay in this relationship make sure he puts money back for alot of therapy. Because living in a household where a father loox down on you for being a certain gender causes lifelong issues. 40 some odd years later and I am still trying to feel like it is ok to be myself. Build a support group and step away with those beautiful baby girls. They can be anything they wish with the right guidance. 🖤
Okay, I admit I'm someone who knew I never wanted kids period, but can someone explain to me why the hell people like OPs ex-hubby are so damn invested in the genitals of their children? Like what did he expect to do with a son he can't possibly do with daughters? I assume he's thinking about gender stereotypes and wanting to do the typically 'manly' stuff, but two things spring to mind 1- Even IF one of them was a son, that doesn't mean they'll be into whatever he's into. I'm a straight cis dude and I give no craps about sports, know only the basics about cars, and would rather read a book than do anything outdoors. 2-One (or hell, all) of the daughters could totally be into sports, cars, and outdoor stuff. Just because they're born with XX chromosomes doesn't mean they can't be into 'manly' stuff. I've absolutely known women who were more into all of that than I was. Oh and thirdly, all of that's assuming just cis and hetero stuff. If this dude gets with someone else and they have his "son" he wants so badly, that child is in for hell if they're anywhere on LGBT spectrum. He may have been okay with OP's brother, but I really would not be surprised if he's one of those "No kid of mine is gonna be gay" types.
Probably wants a son so they could carry on the family name. Can't necessarily do that with girls. Either way, he's a grade A ascon 1 and deserves no children after that behavior
❤ you said so well I never wanted kids and have two when I was younger and single I had a son that was still born early died like OP’s , now with my husband I have and older s😅and younger daughter. The difference in my health in both pregnancies were day and night . Growing up my dad was an athlete and always pressured us into sports mind you I have two sister and a brother lol non of us got heavily into although I did some in school, my daughter is heavily into sports and like “boy “ stuff my son wouldn’t even want to go outside lol not since he was a toddler or a little kid 😂 My husband and I encourage whatever they like and my son is into cooking where my daughter makes a face . My husband does most of the stereotypical chores that I should do and I don’t Op’s ex is in for a lot bc he’s missing out how much girls can offer and whoever gives him a son will need therapy too
It's also semi-patriarchy. My dad isn't even actually religious, but he is 100% invested in his sons over me as his daughter to the point that the executor of will he's having to make as he faces a serious cancer diagnosis is my older brother, who has almost no capability to deal with bureaucracy. When I got married, he outright said I belong to another family now.
Excellent points! I'm lucky enough to have a dad who was never disappointed by only having a daughter. He did the same things with me that he would've done with a son and I loved it (camping, sports, DIY projects, etc.).
Hi Dusty, have you given any thought to a previous suggestion of creating an Ascon 1,000 category? Brother, BIL, MIL & her church group are freaking Rock Stars!!!!! I'm so happy she has those people in her life. ❤❤❤❤ When you said what the sperm donor said to the wife I couldn't breathe. Utterly disgusting.
So before the update in my opinion, I think the husband hasn't gone to therapy at all before the triplet news. Never did OP mention how her husband was thinking/feeling while she was in her depression. He probably had a lot of pent sadness for their son and had the false hope of getting another. Which of course turned into rage. Nevertheless, it's not an excuse to die those things to OP and says such horrible things about his future daughter. Which will sadly result in him being alone.
This has been my dad from the beginning my dad always wanted a boy, but oh yeah, he never got one, but does have two daughters. And yes, he mistreated us our entire life. So believe me when that man says he doesn't want a relationship with his daughters that is what he's saying and will do. My sister and I do not have the best relationships or any "fatherly daughter relationship" with our father we're basically family just a-strange. Basically, hates my sister and I but loves my sister's son. he's the son he always wanted but never had. LOVES that boy he can do no wrong he is The Golden Goose child he never had. We didn't choose to be born girls and not boys. It was a choice my mom decided not to have any more kids we just ended up getting the backhand in love. One parent is all we had even though we had our father in all honesty I wish my mom would have divorced then we wouldn't have suffered so much it she had chosen to leave but stayed for the "family image".
Those words will replay in her brain her whole life. IMO those were marriage ending words, there's no going back. Physical abuse would have caused less pain than those words.
Being loved and knowing you are will get you through bad days. And the brother and BIL rock. They shown such love to OP and I have no doubt they will show the same love to the trips. I hope the 4 girls, Mom, brother, and BIL have amazing lives together.
I am glad that OPs brother and brother-in-law stepped up to help OP. I am glad that OP went no contact with her mom and how the church basically kicked her ex-husband in the but.
I remember this one very clearly, and it still breaks my heart for OP because her partner doesn't understand how spermies and eggos work, let alone BIOLOGY. Research is there for a reason.
The triplets story--OP's husband obviously didn't pay attention in health class. HE is the one that determines the sex of the child. What a complete jerk!
There was a further update after this. Hubby and his parents went completely off the rails and tried to get the courts to force OP to come home then tried to force her to give him sole custody of the triplets. Fortunately, brother, BIL, and church are still in her corner and the judge was not having any of hubby's BS. Every person OP told the story to immediately turned on hubby and he did not like it. OP and babies are still with brother and are safe.
NTA but your soon to be ex-husband, mother and mother-in-law are TA! You are not overreacting! Marriage is over! He is an idiot for not wanting to understand that it is his perm that determines the gender of their child!
The trust is gone, so unless they are willing to do a lot of work the relationship is over. I am really hoping that once the girls are born he will love them all and regret ever asking for a boy. Sure he may be saying that stuff now, but there is no saying that his heart will change once he is holding them. Someone put this poison in his head, that person needs to be confronted. Therapy of all sorts is greatly needed.
Love that the church member yelled at the husband until he cried and that they asked if there was anything she needed. Good for the brother and brother in law stepping up for her.
OP needs to file for divorce immediately, and on the way out make sure brozo understands it’s his sperm that decided the triplets were girls. After his performance at the gender reveal, he’s also going to be paying child support for the triplets he’s not allowed any contact with.
I can't help but imagine that the soon-to-be-ex husband will become acutely aware of just how bad he screwed up when his daughters are born and he doesn't get to be a part of their lives.
Imagine trying to get custody when he's saying wild 💩 like you killed my son and he'll financially support daughters but doesn't want to raise them. It's so sad that as a woman no other woman in either family said he's disgusting run away. If I was his mother I'd slap him stupid and remind him without her he literally wouldn't exist or have the penis he cares about more than his daughters.
Oh no... See, he doesn't view women as human beings, and that's a difference between daughters and sons for him.
I heard a story of guy divorcing wife after she didn't want to give him son, he had an affair, his lover gave birth to son. He never even acknowledges his two daughters.
BIL and Bro are the MVPs here. Big dubs to BIL mom. The Bible Study guy that said what we were all thinking. I am ECSTATIC that the church is actually faithful and sheltering OP. Good job. I was worried she was in the Bog of Eternal Stench.
Absolutely NTA. And if he can't remember high school biology.... The guy's part determines the gender, NOT THE WOMAN!!!
Now my wife and I have had multiple miscarriages and that grief is real. But it is not her fault for that either. He needs A LOT of therapy yesterday.
So sorry for your loss
@@rachelleanonymous2740 thank you
I am SO glad that the church was on her side. It can be hard to re-establish something like that, especially in a situation like this. There's too many times I've heard of churches taking the side of assholes like this, and it's so good to know that some places still have a sense of decency.
100% this. I am so surprised it normally goes the other way with church members. My church called me a liar and a w***e after they learned my ex was beating on me. They surrounded him comforted him and shunned me. Even though they constantly saw the bruises, and he admitted to hitting me constantly with the excuse of "she just wouldn't listen". A couple lawyers in the church offered to represent him in a custody battle for free. A few members started to take foster parent training classes and became certified and would send messages telling me they would get my kids removed and placed in their homes. This was after they secretly coached me to leave and told me they would be there for me in anything and everything.
@@RayneZaleska The exact same thing happened to my best friend's mother when she tried to leave her alcoholic and abusive husband. She even had the priest proposition her with sex to make her feel better...so she could go back to him "fixed"
Here's praying that he has to pay a stupid amount of child support. Also, it would be hilarious if one of the triplets is a boy.
I remember when I had the test done. The doctor explained that there was no chance about a false positive for a boy but there was a chance for a false positive for a girl. That was because the test might grab the mother's DNA instead of the baby. I wonder if the triplets are identical. An ultrasound should be able to tell.
She needs to leave him. Also the guy needs to go back to biology class and relearn how genetics work.
I am so relieved to hear that OP has some amazing people in her corner. Hope her soon to be ex, gets the help he needs.
Have seen this one before. I would love to have an update after the birth... how DARE THAT SOB SHOW HIS FACE IN GOD'S HOUSE?
btw.. just saw something saying most issues with miscarriages/stillbirths are actually the fault of the MANS SPERM
Brother and bro-in-law are amazing people! Wow! Turned a trash fire of a situation into a happy one
Cannot be said enough. That is true selflessness offering to help house AND care AND provide counseling for that POS ex husband.
I hope OP makes brother and brother-in-law the babies godfathers.
He's awful. She needs to divorce him effective immediately.
I agree, if my husband accused me of killing my unborn baby, I would file the next day. He needs therapy and a new life without his wife and kids.
You’re a better woman than me because I wouldn’t even wait a whole day
My mom has 9 brothers and 3 sisters. The girls weren't treated the greatest. When my parents got married, my mom told my dad she refused to have boys. Kind of kidding, but not because of her brothers. They had 4 girls. I'm the 3rd. Over the years, we had great relationships with our parents. I asked my dad 1 day, if he was sad he didn't have boys? He said, what do I need boys for? I love that he said that. There are 8 grandsons and 8 granddaughters. I love my family. 😁
I can't imagine a dad not being ecstatic having 3 baby girls. I hope many blessings in this moms life. So happy she has an amazing family.
I just… how would this have gone without a gender reveal when his children were actually born? He throws a fit and leaves?!? This is absurd.
Divorce. That man is sickening. I wouldnt even want to be in the same room with him anymore. This brought me to tears how wonderful her brother has been to her. ❤
Best part is that after he flipped out and said all those awful things he went to church. Nothing says hypocrite like saying awful things to your wife, and then going to church, and basically profess your love to Jesus if it was a Christian church
I can't believe how fucked up he was to act like that and blame OP for the loss of the first child. He should have been thanking god for happy healthy babies and his mother and OP's mother should have been on him like the church people did. It would be ironic of the ultrasound missed it and one of the babies was a boy.
OP has an amazing support system both at church and with her brother. Also, that sounds like the type of church I'd love to belong to.
I mean it's male that determines gender,but what he said was completely uncalled for. It's good op is leaving him,she deserves better and her brother is a real one for helpin out.
It feels like he only sees his wife as a son maker..to lash out so cruelly against her in such a vulnerable time wd be something I could not forgive.
Thank God for brother!
That wasn't the first clue she had as to what kind if man he is. She handled this very well.
Omg! What a terrible husband!
She is
Definitely NTA!
Have you considered that maybe he’s just grieving? hurt people hurt people. sounds like after the passing of their first child, sounds like the husband put all his energy into supporting his wife & getting her through and maybe didn’t take the time to grieve for himself. What he said was terrible but even he, a man, deserves some grace
I am SO excited by that update! I was going to say she should see about staying with her brother until she can get on her feet. Love this and hope her husband gets the help he needs. And she seeks some therapy too so she can work through her own feelings and be confident in the fact that her first pregnancy nor how her husband acted is in any way her fault.
The brother and brother in law are absolute angels, they are really doing so much for her. Amazingly generous and supportive, I'm so glad OP has them. Also good on the church for supporting her. I've seen too many terrible church reactions to things like this
NTA! Your husband is WAY out of line with his comment about killing your son. Childbirth is not a simple process, many things can go wrong that can result in the loss of the child, the mother or both. Also, basic biological reality, the man's sperm determines the gender of the child(ren). UPDATE: You have a very good brother and BIL. Best wishes!
She has the best Brother
Woooow. This would 100% make me fall completely out of love with someone. I feel so bad for her. Glad she has the support she does.
Brother and BIL make me want to cry. I'm so glad she has them. ❤
I'll start with something random but you'll understand where this comes from.
My sister and I are extremely angry with the show Friends on the depiction of Phoebe's pregnancy with triplets, because by some miracle my sister got pregnant with triplets (naturally) and boy it was hard, not only emotionally, but physically that takes a toll on the mother's body, my sister had to spend the last 2 months of her pregnancy in the hospital because of it and her babies had to stay there for almost a month after they were born (they're healthy and thriving now), and I can tell you, a pregnant woman needs all the support she can get, but when it comes to triplets it multiplies, because it's not all rainbows and butterflies, no, there are risks, no matter how much she takes care of herself and her babies, and that stress is awful, and the worst part is that sometimes us (the partner, family, and friends) feel useless because there's nothing we can do but be there and be her cheerleaders. So, hearing what her husband did, and her mother's reaction broke my heart. I'm glad she has a Saint of a brother and brother in law, because she needs them, I hope that just like she received such a beautiful gift (her babies) she receives as much love, understanding, support and protection as she deserves. And at least for me, grief is not an excuse for such behavior.
One of my neighbors had triplets and one of the triplets died before he was born. The other 2 were born healthy and they were fraternal. The one that died was an identical twin.
@@evies1050 that was one of the risks of my sister, and one of the babies was smaller, when the doctors told her there was a high possibility that one of the babies wouldn't make it, she felt devastated. We are so grateful the three babies were born, and again, that's why she needed not only economical but emotional support.
My condolences to your neighbor, I hope with the love of her family she will be a little better, a loss like that is something you never get over, but you learn to live with it.
Don’t forget that child support money!
Yeah this is why people need therapy. This guy is still clearly hurting and instead of getting help he is lashing out on his wife who is currently pregnant. People say that women get emotional, but this to me is an emotional outburst. Anger and Rage turned on his wife and three girls. The people he is supposed to love the most. Hurt people. Hurt people.
He is literally scaring his wife and acting dangerous when she is already in a very dangerous pregnancy. She no longer feels trust and love she is honestly afraid for her children now. When your wife is pregnant is when a man most needs to be the emotional and physical rock.
But too often that make or break moment is when so many Men snap.
If this is you then get some therapy. There is no shame in getting help. The shame comes when you hurt the people you love and who love you.
The brother and brother in law are amazing! OP is also going to be able to be a female roll model for her niece more than she probably already is
As the oldest of 3 daughters. I am upset. My parents had 3 girls, 6 granddaughters, and 6 grandsons. My parents love us all so much. I am grateful for them. I am grateful for my entire family.
That was a wild ride! Bless her lil mama heart! Way to go Brother!
OP stated she didn't want her daughters growing up in an 'unloving' household, but the husband's visceral reaction to daughters and not 'at least one son' is far more dangerous than just an 'unloving' household. It wasn't a spur of the moment, lost my head reaction: he's sleeping on the couch, accused OP of murdering their first child, and this isn't disappointment, this is sheer anger. Once those children are born and home, he'll provide Maslow's basics needs for them but won't interact with them. How in the world does a woman handle triplets and the household alone while he goes to work? From the sounds of it, he'll refuse to pay for outside help for cooking, cleaning the house, laundry, babysitting so mom can rest, shower, eat, etc., which means further down the road, as the children age, he'll refuse to pay for any extras like school activities, dance, karate, band, sports, higher education, weddings etc. The moment of the gender reveal, this guy checked out in every way and is putting all the blame on OP. Does he think she walked into a baby store without him and custom-ordered 3 daughters just to piss him off? What the heck is wrong with him? If he can create a baby (or, in this case, 3 of them), does he have no clue how HE is the deciding factor here? What an absolute gob of pond scum. OP needs to get her ducks in a row, document everything, divorce him asap and the moment those children are born, slap legal child support papers on him along with a restraining order. If OP isn't already, she should be fearful of him harming those children simply because they are daughters and not sons and his anger is tangible. No mature man acts like this over disappointment: this man needs some serious therapy but I fear for OP and her daughters if she sticks around for that. What's that phrase?...when someone shows you who they are, believe them! I applaud brother/brother in law for stepping in and stepping up removing her from the situation and protecting her. OP's husband is off the rails to the point where she shouldn't trust even being in his presence. There is no telling what his anger will incite him to do. By saying "I don't want 4 kids but I want a son" sounds like an blatant threat to me and scares the heck out of me for her. As for the mother's 2 cents' worth, it might be natural for a husband to want sons, but this primal, rage-filled spontaneous reaction is NOT "natural" or "normal" at all. This is sick and twisted and to accuse OP of being the reason for the miscarriage is just evil and cruel. She's only been with this guy a total of 5 years and has her entire life ahead of her. If she was my sister, niece, granddaughter, daughter-in-law, I'd be urging her to get out as fast as she can and, in the meantime, get a restraining order against him and get him out of the marital home. She miscarried once; the strain of living with this insufferable man through this pregnancy does not bode well for her health or the health of those children.
I'm so glad OP has her brother, brother-in-law, and his mom as her family! I love how they and her church have rallied to support her and her baby girls. They certainly won't lack a father figure with those excellent men in their lives. ❤
When your Bible study bro screams at you until you cry, you know you f'cked up. 😅
The brother and BIL are incredible human beings. Those babies are gonna be so loved. 🥰
I know someone who had 2 girls. She had difficult pregnancies and was advised not to conceive again. Her (now ex-) husband desperately wanted a son and was asking her for “permission” to have a son with another woman. He pressured her to the point where he was complaining to other people that she wouldn’t allow it. She ultimately divorced him and before the divorce was even final, he had a son.
Thank goodness for her brother. Hopefully that ex husband gets the grief counseling he needs.
Men determine the sex of the babies, not the female so if the babies are girls that falls on him. To clarify, the sperm is what determines the gender, not the egg
I know, the irony. Dude needs a lesson on reproduction in addition to counseling/ therapy and anger management classes.
Nta! You seem to have a great plan moving forward and it is wonderful that you have so many supportive people in your life.
Brother and BIL (and BIL's mum as well) are absolute angels. Just goes to show that your gay ancestors are absolutely still ancestors! Those men are doing EVERYTHING, far above and beyond what anyone could expect. Good on the Church as well for doing the right thing and supporting OP.
One word " childsupport" you will be fine. I was single mother of two. One night i woke up i swear i saw my dead grandmother, she said one thing : mother and child will never be lost they survive. Next day i told my mother this, and here is the bizarre part. My mum was 16 when she got her oldest child. And this where exact the words my gram said to my mother after she gave birth. We did survive (without childsupport) my kids are fine adulds now.
OK WHAT A WIN FOR SIBLING LOVE THO! (everyone else has already said my thoughts on the terrible soon-to-be ex, so shoutout to the siblings - by blood and marriage - they crushed it!)
She needs out NOW! To blame her for the death of the boy AND act as if it’s her decision that the triplets are girls is HORRIFYING. (Haven’t watched the whole thing yet but I am enraged) delayed grief or not that violent reaction (yes breaking the table is violent) and the way he is treating her make me sick
Crying tears of joy over the update ❤❤❤
We love that for OP. ❤❤❤
So Happy for you. Brother and brother in law are angels! I'm so glad that OP church is supporting her!
I've heard this story before on other channels. That brother is an angel and a half and the brother-in-law is even better cuz it's not his family LOL
So, my dad wanted boys and his 1st child (moi) is a girl, I grew up feeling "less than", being told I couldn't do or wouldn't be allowed to, do certain things because I was a girl. It really messed me up emotionally and mentally. So if you decide to stay in this relationship make sure he puts money back for alot of therapy. Because living in a household where a father loox down on you for being a certain gender causes lifelong issues. 40 some odd years later and I am still trying to feel like it is ok to be myself. Build a support group and step away with those beautiful baby girls. They can be anything they wish with the right guidance. 🖤
Also I said this in the OG. Blaming infant loss at all is an absolute goodbye.
I loved how the church supported them. This is what a church is supposed to do!
Just watched a response from red flag man respond to a man enraged at a gender reveal.
Okay, I admit I'm someone who knew I never wanted kids period, but can someone explain to me why the hell people like OPs ex-hubby are so damn invested in the genitals of their children?
Like what did he expect to do with a son he can't possibly do with daughters?
I assume he's thinking about gender stereotypes and wanting to do the typically 'manly' stuff, but two things spring to mind
1- Even IF one of them was a son, that doesn't mean they'll be into whatever he's into.
I'm a straight cis dude and I give no craps about sports, know only the basics about cars, and would rather read a book than do anything outdoors.
2-One (or hell, all) of the daughters could totally be into sports, cars, and outdoor stuff. Just because they're born with XX chromosomes doesn't mean they can't be into 'manly' stuff. I've absolutely known women who were more into all of that than I was.
Oh and thirdly, all of that's assuming just cis and hetero stuff.
If this dude gets with someone else and they have his "son" he wants so badly, that child is in for hell if they're anywhere on LGBT spectrum. He may have been okay with OP's brother, but I really would not be surprised if he's one of those "No kid of mine is gonna be gay" types.
Probably wants a son so they could carry on the family name. Can't necessarily do that with girls. Either way, he's a grade A ascon 1 and deserves no children after that behavior
❤ you said so well I never wanted kids and have two when I was younger and single I had a son that was still born early died like OP’s , now with my husband I have and older s😅and younger daughter. The difference in my health in both pregnancies were day and night . Growing up my dad was an athlete and always pressured us into sports mind you I have two sister and a brother lol non of us got heavily into although I did some in school, my daughter is heavily into sports and like “boy “ stuff my son wouldn’t even want to go outside lol not since he was a toddler or a little kid 😂
My husband and I encourage whatever they like and my son is into cooking where my daughter makes a face . My husband does most of the stereotypical chores that I should do and I don’t Op’s ex is in for a lot bc he’s missing out how much girls can offer and whoever gives him a son will need therapy too
It's also semi-patriarchy. My dad isn't even actually religious, but he is 100% invested in his sons over me as his daughter to the point that the executor of will he's having to make as he faces a serious cancer diagnosis is my older brother, who has almost no capability to deal with bureaucracy. When I got married, he outright said I belong to another family now.
Excellent points! I'm lucky enough to have a dad who was never disappointed by only having a daughter. He did the same things with me that he would've done with a son and I loved it (camping, sports, DIY projects, etc.).
Hi Dusty, have you given any thought to a previous suggestion of creating an Ascon 1,000 category?
Brother, BIL, MIL & her church group are freaking Rock Stars!!!!! I'm so happy she has those people in her life. ❤❤❤❤
When you said what the sperm donor said to the wife I couldn't breathe. Utterly disgusting.
This man is gonna end up offing himself for this 😂
So before the update in my opinion, I think the husband hasn't gone to therapy at all before the triplet news. Never did OP mention how her husband was thinking/feeling while she was in her depression. He probably had a lot of pent sadness for their son and had the false hope of getting another. Which of course turned into rage. Nevertheless, it's not an excuse to die those things to OP and says such horrible things about his future daughter. Which will sadly result in him being alone.
This has been my dad from the beginning my dad always wanted a boy, but oh yeah, he never got one, but does have two daughters. And yes, he mistreated us our entire life. So believe me when that man says he doesn't want a relationship with his daughters that is what he's saying and will do. My sister and I do not have the best relationships or any "fatherly daughter relationship" with our father we're basically family just a-strange.
Basically, hates my sister and I but loves my sister's son. he's the son he always wanted but never had. LOVES that boy he can do no wrong he is The Golden Goose child he never had. We didn't choose to be born girls and not boys. It was a choice my mom decided not to have any more kids we just ended up getting the backhand in love.
One parent is all we had even though we had our father in all honesty I wish my mom would have divorced then we wouldn't have suffered so much it she had chosen to leave but stayed for the "family image".
Those words will replay in her brain her whole life. IMO those were marriage ending words, there's no going back. Physical abuse would have caused less pain than those words.
Being loved and knowing you are will get you through bad days. And the brother and BIL rock. They shown such love to OP and I have no doubt they will show the same love to the trips. I hope the 4 girls, Mom, brother, and BIL have amazing lives together.
Op you have such a good brother and brother in law
THATS a brother and BIL. And THATS how a church does things right. ❤
Who does this guy think he is? Henry VIII?
I am glad that OPs brother and brother-in-law stepped up to help OP. I am glad that OP went no contact with her mom and how the church basically kicked her ex-husband in the but.
I remember this one very clearly, and it still breaks my heart for OP because her partner doesn't understand how spermies and eggos work, let alone BIOLOGY. Research is there for a reason.
I know this story is over a year old but it is so stinking sad I really hope she is living an amazing life a year later.
The triplets story--OP's husband obviously didn't pay attention in health class. HE is the one that determines the sex of the child. What a complete jerk!
He said he would provide. Then get a Manny...
Just saying..... Men wonder why women are becoming more and more attracted to a lavender marriage. 🤷♀️😆
Hubby is Ascon1
brother and brother in law are kings
There was a further update after this. Hubby and his parents went completely off the rails and tried to get the courts to force OP to come home then tried to force her to give him sole custody of the triplets. Fortunately, brother, BIL, and church are still in her corner and the judge was not having any of hubby's BS. Every person OP told the story to immediately turned on hubby and he did not like it. OP and babies are still with brother and are safe.
Ok what the heck does dhfb mean? My adhd brain can't let it go. Lol. I know I'm gonna feel silly when y'all tell me what it means. 🤪
Wtf???
NTA but your soon to be ex-husband, mother and mother-in-law are TA! You are not overreacting! Marriage is over! He is an idiot for not wanting to understand that it is his perm that determines the gender of their child!
I have a friend who has triplets (boys) and then 2 more singletons. A boy and girl.
Somebody should tell that rocket scientist that is the man who determines the gender of the baby. OP you are not the AH!
❤️🧡
The trust is gone, so unless they are willing to do a lot of work the relationship is over. I am really hoping that once the girls are born he will love them all and regret ever asking for a boy. Sure he may be saying that stuff now, but there is no saying that his heart will change once he is holding them. Someone put this poison in his head, that person needs to be confronted. Therapy of all sorts is greatly needed.
2:24 *Hard Record Scratch*